Participants:
Series Code: AFH
Program Code: AFH000020S
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00:01 A good father takes time to play.
00:05 He has strong integrity. 00:08 He is someone that is truly dedicated. 00:12 He is not afraid to show his love. 00:16 He is a caring provider. 00:20 And he's a kind spiritual leader. 00:22 These are just a few ways to describe a father's heart. 00:28 Hi, Welcome to A Father's Heart. 00:29 I'm your host Xavier, 00:31 and today we're going to be discussing 00:32 the topic of bullying. 00:34 What if your child is getting bullied? 00:36 Or what if your child is the bully? 00:38 And with me to talk about that 00:40 are my two friends Gordon and Denry. 00:42 How are you guys doing today? We're doing great. 00:44 Can't complain man, can't complain. 00:46 So how do feel about bullying. 00:48 You know what if your child's getting bullied? 00:50 You know, I didn't. 00:52 Before my children were born, this was a theory. 00:56 Now that they're born and they're getting older, 00:58 it's a practice. 01:00 My kids, for whatever reason, at times they get bullied, 01:05 especially my oldest son, he's so much like me. 01:09 He loves, you know, just loves life, 01:12 very energetic 01:13 and there's three major occasions 01:16 where he was bullied. 01:18 And if I remember the first one, 01:20 I was at the seminary, 01:21 and they were away in Florida, 01:23 and he was being bullied at school. 01:25 And I want to call him and say you need to go there, 01:29 knock that little boy's teeth out. 01:31 I wanted to say that. 01:33 And then a good friend of mine from Canada, another pastor, 01:37 he pulled me to the side and he said, 01:39 "What's wrong? You seem upset." 01:40 And I told him what's going on. 01:42 And he said, "You know what, man, 01:44 I've had to deal with that too throughout my life." 01:46 I said, "Let's pray. 01:48 Let's go to God about this. Let's go to God." 01:51 He prayed with me. 01:52 And then I went back to my son, I said, 01:53 "I want you to do this. 01:55 I want you to start praying for your friends. 01:57 Pray for the bully. 01:58 Pray for him, like, you know, really pray for him." 02:00 He's like, okay, I mean, 02:02 at the time he's seven years old, 02:04 what, you know, six or seven. 02:05 So I said, "Pray for him, just pray for him." 02:07 Do you know 02:09 at the end of that first year of school for him, 02:12 when he was leaving, 02:14 now moving into seminary with me, 02:16 his friends were crying that he was leaving, 02:18 the two guys that were bullying him. 02:20 They were crying. 02:21 They were like, "We're going to miss you," 02:23 you know, they became his friends. 02:25 And so, I learned to let God win that battle for me. 02:30 This takes me back nine years, I was about nine years old. 02:34 And you know, we didn't call it in Ghana, 02:36 I don't know, we didn't call it bullying. 02:38 I'm so glad that there's some kind of term now 02:41 that they're using for. 02:43 A guy used to mess with me. 02:46 Take my lunch, take my lunch. 02:48 And I just, I got fed up one day, 02:52 and he did it, 02:55 I just rolled back on my fist and I just let him have it, 03:00 everything I got. 03:02 I have scar, I have a long scar, 03:04 by the grace of God that missed my main, 03:07 one of my main arteries. 03:09 He took a bottle, broke it and slashed my arm. 03:13 I didn't even know he realized that I was cut. 03:15 But I went into a rage 03:20 and I was just blood was just gushing 03:23 and I was just wailing at him. 03:26 But I thank God that, 03:28 you know, I can look back now at it 03:30 and I can talk to my children, I can talk and open about it. 03:33 I say things 03:34 that I wouldn't say publicly have been. 03:38 It's just something that I'm passionate about. 03:41 I think that more awareness and needs to, 03:45 to be brought forward to this whole thing 03:47 but we need to make our children aware of it. 03:50 I experienced it. 03:53 And as the younger sibling 03:57 and as older, my older cousins, 04:00 they would fight all my battles. 04:03 But this time I was by myself. 04:05 And so for weeks, you know, they kept, 04:08 this young guy kept doing it 04:10 and at the end of it 04:12 even after I came back from the hospital 04:14 after came with nine stitches in my arms, 04:17 I came back from the hospital, 04:19 the teacher called me out, 04:22 you know, a guy did something wrong 04:24 and that just really set me off 04:27 even what so, but I just said, 04:29 thank God for His protection and keeping me 04:33 'cause bullying could be a real serious matter 04:38 for our children, for our young people. 04:41 And too much, too much, 04:45 you know, enough is not being done 04:47 I think especially in our church environment. 04:50 It's a very, very sensitive thing for me, 04:52 because I've experienced it to some level. 04:55 And I like that 04:57 because, you know, I've always been, 04:58 haven't been the tallest guy in the world. 05:01 Always been very short and I was, 05:02 I got bullied so much. 05:04 But my dad, and he's short, but then my dad told me, 05:08 you know, hey, 05:09 you're strong for your height as am I. 05:12 He's like, I said, genetic trait. 05:14 And I remember God showing me that 05:17 that strength was to be used for good. 05:21 You know, not saying I'm Samson, anything like that, 05:23 but being, always been underestimated. 05:26 Used to hate the gym when I was a teenager, 05:28 started losing weight, lost all the weight. 05:31 And I remember a few instances that, 05:33 you know, somebody started bullying me 05:35 I would turn around and just decimate, 05:37 just beat him into unconsciousness. 05:41 You know, and I lost a lot of friends 05:42 not because of the fighting, 05:45 but because I would go into a blind rage 05:48 and the blood on me would not be mine. 05:53 And they told me you're going to kill somebody. 05:56 You don't even need a weapon. 05:58 You're going to knock somebody and you're going to kill them. 06:02 And you know, being a father, 06:05 how do I deal with that with my girls? 06:08 Yeah, I want them to fight and my girls are feisty, 06:11 and they could fight. 06:13 And I remember one time my five-year-old, 06:15 she was at the pool learning swimming lessons 06:16 and this little boy 06:18 where all the parents were standing out 06:19 there other parents. 06:21 And this little boy was pushing her, 06:23 like tapping her the floatation device she had. 06:26 And she turns around, and I know when she's mad. 06:29 She turns around and I just, 06:31 I look at her and she looks at me, 06:33 she turns back. 06:34 Second time, she turns around real angry 06:37 as she knows 06:39 somebody's going to get punched. 06:41 And I immediately look at her and have a flashback of myself. 06:45 And all I did was put my hands up 06:46 and just say 06:47 you know, give it a signal to don't do that. 06:51 You know, that's the thing we have to learn about bullying 06:53 that it's real. 06:54 It's killing our youth literally. 06:56 People are committing suicide and growing up, 06:59 you know, I don't know growing up, 07:02 you always deal with bullies through fighting. 07:05 You know, yes, my dad would be like though, 07:07 be a man, fight, knock him out. 07:11 You know, don't start a fight, but finish it. 07:14 But when I read the Bible, Jesus does it differently. 07:19 You know, some people might call Him weak, 07:22 because He doesn't fight. 07:24 But if my girls get bullied, 07:26 I'm still at odds as to how I'm going to do it. 07:30 I'm going to help them, 07:31 you know, how would you do it if your kids, 07:35 I know you mentioned that earlier, Denry, 07:37 but how would you do it if it's a constant 07:40 with all your kids getting bullied? 07:44 I will pray, I will have to pray. 07:48 I don't think I'll handle it very well. 07:50 I'm just being real. 07:51 At this point, 07:53 I really don't think I will handle it very well. 07:55 I think I would be a little aggressive 07:58 and try not to be overly aggressive, 08:01 but I want to drive a point 08:03 that this child does have a parent that loved him. 08:06 And because they're up here and don't mess. 08:10 And we have, 08:12 we have allowed things to just go on. 08:14 And I think that's the problem. 08:15 We allow things to go on 08:17 and our children will come to us 08:19 and they will talk to us. 08:21 So you know, they just go, don't worry about it, 08:25 don't worry about it. 08:27 But we have to teach our children. 08:29 If somebody is bullying you, here's what you do. 08:32 Go to your teacher, 08:34 go to this person, go to that person, 08:37 and then let your parents know. 08:39 A lot of that has not happened, 08:41 that education needs to happen, 08:43 that our children need to know that 08:45 and when they come to, 08:46 when they come to us, we need to make it, 08:50 make them feel comfortable to know 08:53 that something is going to be done about it. 08:56 Not just, okay. 08:58 Yeah, okay, dad hear you. 08:59 I hear you, okay, you know, no, go ahead. 09:03 My mom used to say to us, 09:05 which is probably not the right thing. 09:07 But if you got to, 09:08 if you go to school and you get into trouble 09:11 somebody is fighting you, don't come to me, 09:14 handle it. 09:17 But I think we need to do a little more, 09:19 we need to let our children know 09:21 that they can come to us, 09:23 we need to be aware as parents 09:24 as to what's happening in our children's lives. 09:26 You know, this is a very delicate, 09:29 delicate subject, 09:32 because you have so much extremes 09:33 you can go here. 09:35 You know, similar to you, 09:36 I don't teach my children to fight. 09:38 I tell them, I do not want to hear 09:39 that you started the fight. 09:41 I've taught my children, 09:42 this might be controversial to be, 09:44 to self-defend themselves, to defend themselves, all right 09:47 to take blows or block blows, 09:49 but I don't want to hear that you started the fight. 09:52 The reason why I said 09:54 because people know 09:55 that Christians are supposed to be non-violent. 09:59 And they could take advantage of that 10:01 and be manipulative in that. 10:03 And so, you know, 10:04 you don't want to have your child out there, 10:07 just vulnerable 10:08 and not know how to deal with a situation, 10:11 give them tools. 10:13 You can either walk away, here's some options, right? 10:16 But when you walk away, 10:18 keep your eyes facing the person, right? 10:20 You could call for help. 10:23 You know, you could, there's tools, 10:25 but when we leave them vulnerable 10:26 we make them weak. 10:28 You see Jesus was not weak. 10:29 No, He wasn't. 10:31 He was meek, but He was not weak. 10:34 Think about for a second, 10:35 you had the most powerful being on earth, 10:37 who surrendered Himself. 10:40 See that's what meekness is, 10:41 surrendering your power for your benefit. 10:45 So I've taught my kids to when they throw a word at you, 10:48 they call you names or whatever, 10:50 compliment them, throw them off guard. 10:53 And my son did it. 10:54 And he said, 10:55 "You should have seen the guy's eyes, dad. 10:57 He didn't know what to do after that. 10:59 He called me, he was calling me names 11:01 and I complimented him in front of everybody." 11:03 And he was just like, "Oh, what?" 11:08 Okay, and he moved on 11:10 and another time 11:11 he was being bullied by a girl, right? 11:13 So it's not a gender thing, he's being bullied by a girl. 11:16 And I told him, don't say anything, 11:17 compliment her. 11:19 Tell her how much you appreciate her, 11:20 you know, and he did it. 11:22 And everybody was like, and then she would just, 11:28 you know, I'm not going to mess with you anymore. 11:29 And she stopped. 11:31 Give them tools. 11:32 Give them tools, give them options. 11:34 Fighting is not the option. 11:36 Here we go, this what you could do, 11:38 you could do this, you could do this, 11:40 you could do, so they're in control 11:42 and they don't feel vulnerable 11:43 'cause you don't want a child to feel vulnerable. 11:45 So what happens 11:46 if the child don't want to take the compliment, 11:50 I mean, and the child keeps on? 11:52 What do you tell your child then? 11:54 What you tell your child? 11:55 I mean, like I said... 11:57 If the compliment does not work. 11:58 You know every case scenario is different. 12:00 You know, but what I'm, 12:01 the point I'm trying to say is give them tools 12:03 because I used to work in mental health. 12:06 Dark valley, very dark. 12:10 Unfortunately, there was a young lady 12:12 who took her life 12:14 and two others who attempted it because they were bullied. 12:20 They were left out, they're vulnerable. 12:21 They didn't want to fight. 12:23 They did not wanna have fight 12:24 and then when they tried to fight 12:25 they got in trouble. 12:27 The girl took her life, dark. 12:29 Do you see what I'm saying? 12:30 So that's why I'm saying 12:31 this is a very delicate situation. 12:33 But my suggestion is give them tools. 12:37 And I even think that now we have, it's no longer, 12:41 we live in a day and age 12:43 where fighting is not the big bullying thing 12:45 because you have now cyberbullying, 12:47 you have the electronic bullying. 12:49 So giving, I mean, tools to our children, 12:53 how do you handle, 12:55 you know, your text messaging 12:56 and you've been bullied or been harassed? 12:59 How do we handle to that? 13:01 What kind of tools you give your children in that kind of, 13:04 you know, that kind of way? 13:05 Yeah, it's true because it's hard. 13:08 And for cyberbullying, 13:10 you know, there's so many different things, 13:13 obviously reported, 13:15 but how do I deal with it as a father? 13:20 You know, I know I counteract that question 13:21 because there are tools to report these things. 13:25 But sometimes those resources are of no help. 13:28 You know, I think of my girls, if they get bullied, 13:31 I'm still coping with it. 13:33 That little boy that was pushing my daughter. 13:35 I lost my temper at the pool. 13:36 And I looked at the parents and I went up to them, 13:40 and I told, you know, I was angry. 13:44 I was ready to grab them and grab that kid 13:46 and throw them out the window. 13:48 You know, because that's my child. 13:50 How dare you. 13:52 You know when I cry about, you know, I'm a pacifist. 13:55 But don't step on my kid. 13:57 They step on my kid and say, it's like that sleeping lion. 14:00 You know, he's chilling, he's relaxing, he's sleeping, 14:03 you come into his territory, he wakes up. 14:07 And that's, you know, that's some of the tools that, 14:10 you know, yes, I want to help my girls, 14:12 but how can I help my kids 14:15 when I myself don't know how to deal with it? 14:19 You know, that's some of the tools, 14:20 especially with cyberbullying, what can I do? 14:23 Do I smash the phone? 14:24 Do I smash the computer? 14:26 You know, other than prayer, what, you know, 14:28 what can I do to make sure that I react in a way 14:33 that's productive for them? 14:35 What I had to do, and God showed me, 14:38 what do you do when you're bullied? 14:40 You know, even as an adult, as a pastor, we get bullied. 14:43 I mean, we use different words, 14:45 harass, all these different things. 14:47 As adults, adults get bullied, 14:48 you know, to me bullying is just 14:50 a general term for it. 14:51 You see what I'm saying. 14:53 So what do you do? 14:54 And I go, well, I go to you, God. 14:58 And what do we do? 15:00 I share to you how I feel. 15:02 And so God showed me, 15:04 well, your son is coming to you, 15:06 your daughter is coming to you, 15:08 I need you to do the same thing. 15:10 I need you to sit down with them, listen to the hurt, 15:13 don't sit maybe, 15:15 maybe the thing is always we're trying to find 15:17 a solution. 15:19 You know, you know, listen to the heart. 15:22 Let them know you are there. 15:23 And where after you to listen to the hurt, build them up. 15:26 See, we forget our power and role as parents, 15:29 especially fathers, 15:31 not to denounce the mothers but equal parents. 15:34 But when the fathers encourages and lifts up a child, 15:39 the child is untouchable. 15:42 People still say words about the person, 15:45 but I know my father loves me. 15:48 I know my mother loves me. I know my parents love me. 15:51 I know they believe in me, they have confidence in me. 15:54 So whatever you have to say, 15:56 do you know statistics still say 15:58 the number one influence in a child, 16:00 even teenagers is the parents. 16:03 We start losing them at college, 16:05 but you can hold them strong 16:07 through even their teenage years. 16:10 So that time, building them up. 16:11 Okay, so somebody attacked you. 16:13 So I'm going to build you up so much, 16:16 I show you there is a God in heaven, 16:19 who loves you even more than I could do. 16:21 I appreciate what you have to say there, 16:22 you know, and something you touched on earlier 16:24 was cyber. 16:26 What do you mean by that? 16:28 Like, how do you deal with that at your home? 16:29 I think, for me, cyberbullying is a big, big, big thing, 16:34 because we have all of these different medias 16:36 whereby it comes into the home. 16:40 And I think one of the things I do with my home 16:42 with my children is that there are certain time, 16:45 they have to be off their phones, 16:47 they have to be off social media. 16:49 They have to be off these things. 16:51 Because I do believe that it is one of the ways 16:54 that you know, 16:55 people get into their lives today. 16:57 They have all these friends. 16:59 And my daughter, for example, 17:01 she had an incident 17:04 where a friend was doing inappropriate things. 17:08 And it was really beginning to affect her, 17:09 but because she knew that we are parents, 17:12 we are parents in the present that we are there. 17:16 Let me check your phone. 17:18 My wife randomly checks the phone. 17:20 I randomly check the phone. 17:22 At 11 o'clock the phone's gone. 17:26 We even got to the point 17:28 where we say the phones need to be 17:29 out of the bedrooms and into the living room 17:31 so that there's no reason 17:35 for that child to pick up the phone. 17:36 We live in an age where, you know, 17:38 you have all of these different technological media, 17:42 you can sit at home 17:44 and you can open your computer or whatever, 17:46 and you're right into somebody's bedroom 17:49 or right into somebody's house. 17:51 And so I think we have to make our children aware. 17:55 And let's face it, they're young people, 17:57 they make some crazy, crazy decisions 18:02 and their judgments aren't that always good. 18:05 So they will have their medium and a friend is, 18:09 you know, push something through there 18:12 and through social media or through their iPhone or iPad 18:18 and there it is 18:19 there's that person in not an appropriate way. 18:24 What do you tell your daughter, 18:26 you know, what does she tell when she see this, 18:29 see something like that? 18:30 So that is why I think parenting in the present 18:33 and it's another form of bullying 18:36 because that person, 18:38 that child is placed 18:39 in a very, very compromising situation. 18:43 They don't know what to do. 18:44 They don't know what to think, they don't know how to feel. 18:46 But if you have an open relationship 18:48 and an open dialogue with the children, 18:50 they'll be able to come and say, 18:52 "Dad, Mom, this is what's going on." 18:54 Parent in the presence not be so busy 18:59 that you don't have time for your children. 19:01 And in ministry, we as pastors, 19:05 you know, we can be so busy with everybody else, 19:10 and leave our families behind. 19:13 Like my children will say to me, 19:15 "Dad, you're gone a lot." 19:19 For example, I've been gone for a little bit now 19:21 that my son and my daughter say, 19:23 "Dad, you have been gone a lot." 19:25 So I have to check myself 19:28 and intentionally spend time home. 19:32 Some appointments don't take because I need to be there. 19:35 I need to be parent in the present. 19:37 And basically be a parent, not a friend. 19:39 Be a parent, not a friend, yeah. 19:41 Which is critical, you know, but there's a flip side to it. 19:44 What if your child was being the bully? 19:47 What do you do then? 19:49 I mean, traditionally whippings, 19:51 traditionally, but how, 19:55 has that been effective 19:56 to a certain extent in our lives, 19:58 you know, what can we do 19:59 aside from the traditional whipping 20:02 to help our children not be bullies? 20:05 Go ahead. Go ahead, buddy. 20:06 You're the senior, go ahead. 20:07 Okay. I'll take it. 20:09 I'll take it. 20:10 I still believe in the whippings. 20:12 But even more, I think having that conversation, 20:16 having a relationship with your children, 20:19 whereby you can talk to them 20:21 and they know that you are not a friend, 20:23 you're a parent, 20:24 and you're serious what you say. 20:26 And that I think that makes a whole lot of difference 20:29 when that child know that, hey, listen, I can't do this 20:32 because I have boundaries. 20:34 There's rules, there's things in my home 20:37 that keeps me in line. 20:40 And if you have that you've... 20:42 We have sat down with our children 20:44 and we make rules. 20:45 They're included in the rules. 20:48 You do this, this is the consequence. 20:50 If you break this rule, 20:52 and we have them 20:53 talk about what the consequences will be. 20:56 That way, they know that bullying, 20:59 I can't do it because I'm breaking the rule, 21:01 and if I do this is the consequence, 21:03 a consequence that I myself was a part of devising. 21:09 So I think those are some of the things 21:11 that I think is very important if your child has, 21:12 they need to know their boundaries. 21:14 You know, there is this saying, broken people break people. 21:18 You know, if a glass is beautiful. 21:20 You know, we have glass vase, vase, 21:22 whatever language you want to use. 21:24 And when it's in this whole, it's beautiful. 21:27 But when it's broken, and you touch it, 21:29 even if it's just a crack or totally, 21:32 you know, broken, you can get cut. 21:36 And the same thing would happen with children. 21:38 A lot of the children who do bully, bullying, 21:43 have some brokenness. 21:45 They're not getting attention at home, 21:47 or they over spoiled at home, 21:49 or there's some damage 21:51 that they're getting at home that they passed on. 21:54 How do I know this? 21:55 I'm not a psychologist. 21:56 I'm not, I don't claim to be a philosopher, 21:58 but I've seen it also in my child, 22:01 the same son, right? 22:05 You know, there was a time in my life 22:06 16-hour day shift working, right? 22:10 There was time 22:11 where even past when at the beginning, 22:14 I was everywhere the church needed me. 22:16 Right? 22:18 And I noticed his behavior towards his younger brother. 22:24 He would bully his younger brother. 22:27 Like he would have this, this attitude of entitlement. 22:32 He had this attitude of like bossiness, 22:35 you know, making fun, whatever kid, 22:37 so I had to sit him down, what was going on. 22:41 And I've God also realize, 22:43 showed me you have not been there 22:46 enough to model him and a good example to him. 22:51 This kid is dealing with some things at school. 22:54 Yes, you have dealt with that. 22:56 But he still needs some guidance 22:58 on how to treat others, you know, because he's hurt. 23:03 So he still need some guidance. 23:05 So the beautiful thing now I'm realizing as minister, 23:07 we don't always have to jump to every church members beckon. 23:13 And so what happens is, is times, let's just be honest, 23:16 there's times, I'm not always busy. 23:18 I'm not always working on the sermon. 23:20 And so there's times where I'm spending at home 23:22 and my children are there, 23:24 you find his new thing of call parenting. 23:28 Now I have to, I have to, 23:30 like you said parent in the present 23:32 and also in the presence, in their presence, 23:37 not outside from the, you know, call on the phone. 23:40 I have to now get interactive with them. 23:43 Get involved in what they're doing, 23:46 and when to buy that involvement now, 23:49 daddy cares about me. 23:51 Daddy loves me. 23:52 So now I don't need to go out and get his attention. 23:55 I don't need to try to bully anybody else 23:57 because I'm secure. 23:59 Because my parents have established me, 24:03 that I'm secure. 24:05 Now is there, is it possible 24:08 that not everything looks like bullying? 24:11 It looks like bullying but maybe it's not, 24:14 I think is redirection sometimes. 24:17 Here's your child or here's my child or whoever. 24:20 And that child is very much aggressive in, 24:25 you know, in their behavior. 24:27 It is possible 24:28 what you're looking at is a leader. 24:31 Not so much of somebody that is wants to hurt somebody, 24:38 but they're a leader. 24:39 So what you do is that you channel that energy, 24:44 you'd be able to that present that parenting, 24:46 look at it, look at your son and say, 24:48 you know what? 24:50 Here's another way you can do it. 24:52 Not to take that ability of leadership from them, 24:57 but to help them channel, help them to develop it, 25:02 help them to make it positive instead of negative. 25:06 Yes, brokenness does cause our children 25:08 to do different things. 25:09 But I do think a lot, I look at a lot of kids 25:11 that are bullying and what we call bullying, 25:15 what I see 25:16 as potential leaders that need to, 25:20 you know, you need to be able to sit down with them, 25:22 and maybe to help them channel them different way. 25:25 So modeling is important. Modeling, yes. 25:27 You keep saying this, 25:29 and modeling requires you to invest your time, 25:33 sacrifice your time 25:34 and show them 25:36 how to respond to things this way Christ would have, 25:38 but it has to come from a transformed heart 25:41 which you have to let Christ do 25:42 because you can model something now 25:44 that when it goes out there, oh, you regret it coming back. 25:49 And we have to be fathers, we have to be fathers. 25:52 Pointing somebody, my dad. 25:54 My dad always made time for me. 25:57 You know, my dad always made time for me 25:59 and he always taught me that, 26:01 you know, it's about my girls, my kids, modeling, 26:05 you know, and being able to help them 26:07 be the best they can be 26:08 and just learning from the mistakes. 26:11 And I think that's important for your child 26:13 not to deal with bullying, 26:14 but also not be a bully 26:16 is giving them strategies 26:17 to do not just the physical even though, 26:19 yes, I like teaching my girls self defense mechanisms, 26:22 physical, but also, you know, main thing is verbal. 26:27 Main thing is verbal. 26:29 Yeah, sticks and stones can break your bones. 26:31 I beg to differ. 26:33 But I appreciate what you had to say, 26:35 you know, this could be going off forever. 26:38 So we, we got to pick it up some time again. 26:40 And for our viewers out there, 26:44 bullying is a topic and it's an issue 26:47 that we're dealing with every day. 26:49 We deal with it as adults, 26:51 it just has a different meaning. 26:53 It's a different word, but it's the same thing. 26:56 And modeling, yes, 26:57 it's key to show your kids how to deal with bullying, 27:01 and also fathers create an environment 27:03 in which your kids can talk to you. 27:06 Speak to you openly. 27:08 So that way they can share with you 27:10 if they're going through something, 27:12 while at the same time not being fearful 27:13 that you're going to go out there 27:15 and beat people up to help them. 27:18 The key is, what are you doing to harness 27:20 that relationship with your children? 27:22 What are you doing to promote that environment 27:25 of sharing and promoting a heart 27:29 that shines like Christ. 27:31 It's important. 27:32 Fathers, you need to step up. 27:35 Step up, not just be a protector, 27:38 but also be somebody that can allow them to walk 27:41 through the emotional valleys. 27:43 Not alone but together with you. 27:46 And pastors, please remember, 27:49 Jesus says 27:50 Jerusalem is your first ministry, 27:52 your home. 27:53 Don't forget that as you're doing ministry, 27:55 but thank you for watching. |
Revised 2020-10-06