Participants:
Series Code: AFH
Program Code: AFH000022S
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00:01 A good father takes time to play.
00:05 He has strong integrity. 00:08 He is someone that is truly dedicated. 00:12 He's not afraid to show his love. 00:16 He is a caring provider, 00:20 and he is a kind spiritual leader. 00:22 These are just a few ways to describe a father's heart. 00:28 Hi, welcome to A Father's Heart. 00:29 I'm your host Xavier. 00:30 And today, we're going to be discussing 00:32 saving our young men from violence, 00:33 but this is part two. 00:35 As we have discussed before, there's been an issue, 00:37 an epidemic over young men killing each other. 00:40 And with me to discuss this once more 00:42 are my friends Gordon and Paul. 00:44 How are you guys doing today? 00:45 Welcome back. Doing great. 00:46 Hey, brother. Blessed to be here, man. 00:48 So last time, we left off. 00:49 We were discussing the different things 00:51 that were happening to our young men 00:52 in the community and, Paul, you shared a powerful testimony 00:55 of how God brought you out of that environment 00:59 of gangs and killing. 01:01 And luckily, you know, you're here today 01:03 because of God's grace. 01:05 Amen. Yes, indeed, indeed. 01:07 I want to continue on a point of prayer, 01:09 prayer in the church, prayer in the home. 01:11 The spirituality of our home environment, 01:13 spirituality of the church environment, 01:16 both matters, both play a significant role 01:19 in helping our children to remain cohesively bonded 01:22 to this movement. 01:24 I want to share quickly a short testimony. 01:26 At some point, maybe I was about 17 or so, 01:28 I'd already been arrested a few times, 01:31 I've been stabbed, 01:32 I've been in a shooting incident. 01:34 I was quite distant 01:36 from anywhere close to desiring to be a prodigy. 01:39 Mom called me up one morning, and she's like, 01:41 "Son, I have something sad to tell you. 01:44 And I wonder if you can join us 01:45 this afternoon for prayer meeting, 01:47 group of friends coming over to the house 01:48 and we're going to pray for you." 01:50 "No. For what? 01:51 What? No, man. 01:53 Oh, pray this, pray that, pray this." 01:54 "No, no, no, son. I'm serious. 01:57 The board is meeting to decide 02:00 whether or not to write you out of the church 02:02 because they have learned 02:04 that, you know, you haven't been there 02:05 in over six, seven years, 02:07 and people are aware you're in the street 02:09 and you're dealing with drugs 02:10 and this kind of stuff 02:12 and you carry firearms and all of this. 02:14 And they're saying, you know, it's an infringement 02:16 of your baptismal oath. 02:18 And so you need to be removed from the books of the church. 02:22 And so we're praying for God to lead that exercise." 02:26 I was like, "Man, who cares! 02:29 So what? 02:30 Let him take my name off. 02:32 What do I care?" 02:33 My mother pleaded with me some more. 02:35 So then they met the evening, 02:37 her and group of other friends from Brooklyn Faith, 02:39 Sister Sims, Sister Garvey, 02:42 I believe, was there too, and they all prayed. 02:44 I did joined them briefly. 02:46 And then the next, 02:47 maybe two days later or so, my mom, 02:49 you know, all moved from tears and depression 02:52 preliminary to this meeting. 02:54 Now she's all jubilant and excited. 02:56 And she said, "Son, son, 02:58 they voted to keep your name on the books. 03:01 As a matter of fact, 03:02 out of the entire church board voted, 03:04 only one person voted for you to be removed. 03:07 Everybody else said no unanimously." 03:10 You know what? 03:12 It seems trivial, 03:13 and even at the point of her telling me that, 03:16 I still was like, "Yeah, whatever, man! 03:18 So what?" 03:19 But it began to resonate, 03:21 you know days after, I said, "Wow. 03:24 I haven't been to that church in how long. 03:26 I only go there if I'd been injured 03:28 and I'm going to hospital 03:30 or I have a court hearing or something of that sort. 03:32 I need to, you know, to pray 03:33 so I don't get convicted over there. 03:35 You know, this is how much those people care about me. 03:39 And it did have a long-lasting significant impact, 03:42 even though I didn't go back 03:44 through the doors of the church. 03:45 I never really went back to Brooklyn Faith. 03:47 I reclaim my faith in the Lord at age 26 in Miami, 03:51 Florida when I moved, 03:53 and then was on my own 03:55 and we're dealing with the struggles of life. 03:56 I was trying to pull my life together. 03:58 Still mixed up in drug trafficking 04:00 and these kind of things, 04:01 but God was calling me, and then finally, 04:03 I gave my heart to the Lord in Miami. 04:06 So the church did play an important role in your life? 04:09 Because the church never stopped praying. 04:12 And before I forget, 04:13 I don't want to forget to ask you. 04:15 You mentioned, 04:16 I know after our last program we had discussed, 04:18 you know, just one on one, you and I, 04:20 you mentioned that you had a friend of yours 04:22 as, might interested in coming today 04:25 to talk a little bit more to... 04:26 Yes, yes. 04:27 In this topic. That we can share also. 04:29 He grew up in Holland, 04:30 and I think he has something significantly, 04:32 he would be able to share also. 04:33 So he's coming little later or... 04:35 Yes, he'll be joining us a little later. 04:36 Awesome, awesome. You know, we're two rows. 04:38 We were two rows, as I said, same community, same church, 04:43 we didn't go to the same exact schools, 04:45 same culture from South Guyana, 04:47 South America, he also is, 04:49 but there was distinct differences 04:51 in our rearing. 04:52 Now I had a grandma that was a lay minister, 04:55 church planter, strict fundamental type person, 04:58 and drop the rod seriously, she raised me to age 10, 05:02 but I was always raised by women. 05:05 I met my father when I was about 15 years old. 05:07 Well, I saw him as a kid 05:09 and interacted with him as a kid from time to time, 05:12 but I have no memory of being parented by him 05:15 until I was about 15, I finally met him at that time. 05:19 First thing I said to my father was, 05:20 "Look, I hope you're not coming in my life 05:23 to try to be a father 'cause I'm a man already." 05:26 My father also had a history of messing violence 05:28 with my mother that I never witnessed, 05:30 but I heard enough about it. 05:31 That's when I said to my dad at 15, it was, 05:34 "Yo, you could come in, 05:35 you could visit, but I tell you, 05:36 if you put your hand on my mother, 05:38 I will kill you." 05:39 Those are my exact words to my dad. 05:41 So my rearing was primarily by females, 05:44 my grandma, my sister and I, and other female cousin. 05:47 Then once I left South America and came to Brooklyn, 05:50 my mother, my sister and I, and another aunt. 05:53 So it was always female nurture. 05:56 I also share this to show the importance 05:59 or the significance of male involvement 06:02 in a young man's life. 06:04 So here I am in the streets, I'm about 14 or 15 years old. 06:09 I'm deep in the stuff by that age already. 06:12 There's not a day that I don't have a knife 06:14 or a gun in my pocket. 06:15 One day, I get home, 06:17 and there was a shoot-out in the neighborhood. 06:19 A fight and then ended up as a shoot-out. 06:22 I had two friends that I was closer 06:23 that I grew up like brothers 06:25 living just the next building across from me. 06:27 They were a bit more structured, 06:29 so they weren't there to see all the stuff 06:31 because their mother had specific times 06:33 that they had to be in the house 06:34 and it's all interesting. 06:36 She also was a single mother, 06:37 but she was far stricter than my mom. 06:39 So I'm bringing to them the news, 06:41 and I'm in the heat of this conversation 06:43 with my main friend, 06:44 telling him, "Oh, and they yelled 06:46 and they did this thing, man. 06:47 This dude pulled out a pistol, man, 06:49 he started chasing the guy." 06:50 And then I said, "Hold on, hold on, hold on. 06:52 I got to go to rest room." 06:53 So the story was so heated, 06:56 you know, he was like, "All right," 06:58 which is not uncommon, 06:59 he followed me into the rest room. 07:01 So when we got into the rest room, 07:02 I'm still telling him. 07:03 I said, "Yeah, man. 07:05 Then the guy started shooting." 07:06 And I sat down on the commode. 07:07 Once I sat down, he said, "Ah, wait, man. 07:10 Yo, yo, I'll come back, 07:12 you know, you finish the story when you're done." 07:14 I said, "No, no, relax, I'm just doing number one," 07:17 you know, and continued talking. 07:19 And he said to me, "You're doing number one? 07:22 Why are you sitting down on the bowl?" 07:24 And then you know, he was about to, 07:26 maybe follow up 07:28 with some demeaning comment though. 07:29 I was much crazier than he. 07:31 I was the thug, 07:33 a little bad guy with the pistols 07:34 and all this kind of stuff. 07:36 He knew better than to try to embarrass me. 07:38 So he cut his conversation. 07:39 He said, "You know what, just forget it, 07:40 just forget it." 07:42 And I said to him, "Man, relax, man. 07:43 I'm just doing number one." 07:45 He said, "So why are you sitting down 07:46 on the bowl?" 07:47 I looked up at him like, "I don't know." 07:53 We just stared at each other. 07:54 The reason why, 07:56 I had never been in the habit of seeing a man 07:59 use the rest room. 08:01 Wow. Wow, wow, wow. 08:02 Grown up all my life, just woman. 08:04 And to this day, 08:05 I share it often in lectures 08:08 and in mentorship meetings to recruit, 08:11 to share the urgency and the importance of that. 08:13 That's how significant it is. Mercy. 08:15 Even today as an adult, if I have my free choice, 08:18 and I'm in my own home, that's what I do. 08:21 I don't stand up 08:22 because that's what was nurtured into me 08:24 by observation. 08:25 Oh. Mercy. 08:26 Something that seemingly trivial 08:29 can make a significant impact 08:31 on the development of the male psyche 08:34 of a young man psyche in his mind. 08:36 So and there are many others, 08:37 I'm just using that one as an illustration. 08:39 So if a father is not in the home, 08:43 make sure there is a fatherly figure present 08:47 for that young man or young men to be nurtured, 08:51 a positive fatherly figure, not just anybody. 08:55 Someone positive, someone constructive, 08:57 someone that's going to help to build their self-worth. 09:00 Two different roads, same environment, 09:04 and Gordon can share a little bit of what helped him 09:07 to make the choices that I didn't make. 09:09 I guess my father was there, he was not Adventist, 09:12 but my mom was strict, she was strict, 09:15 you know, with her church and religion, 09:17 but the difference is my father never stood 09:19 in the way. 09:21 He was always there to say, "Whatever your mom says. 09:25 You go 6 o'clock in the morning, 09:27 you're going to prayer meeting, a week of prayer." 09:29 And I didn't wanna go, 09:31 I didn't but I had to go 09:33 because my father was there to say, 09:35 "You're going." 09:36 So he was a present father, but not of the same faith. 09:41 And I guess that's what our difference is, 09:43 you know. 09:44 I had a father, I had that structure. 09:46 So fathers are important in the lives of their children. 09:50 And my dad worked away from home, 09:54 but when he comes, 09:55 you know, he'll come home in the weekends, 09:57 but he was always there. 09:58 "What's going on, bring me... 10:00 Let's see your school work. Let's see what's happening. 10:02 You read to me." 10:03 So when he was there, he was present. 10:05 It made a difference in my life. 10:08 And so I try to model the same thing for my son. 10:11 Modeling is important, 10:12 mentorship is important, being able to... 10:14 Being a strong role model, even like you said, 10:17 even it's not, if you don't have a father, 10:21 but there is a man in the church 10:23 that can be a positive role model, 10:27 it makes a huge difference. 10:28 And I believe that it will help 10:31 with the violence that's going on in those days. 10:32 Absolutely, absolutely. 10:34 I would even go further to say, 10:36 I don't want to make our single mothers 10:37 feel like they are in a hopeless predicament 10:41 because they are single mothers 10:43 who have stepped up so to speak within that role. 10:47 And by the grace of God, 10:48 have done tremendous jobs in mentoring, right? 10:52 Now if you're a single mother watching this 10:55 program and you're saying, "Well, I have no husband, 10:57 he has no uncles, 10:59 he has no cousins or whatever have you, 11:02 and I don't trust the men in the church 11:04 for whatever reason." 11:06 Then introduce him 11:07 to the Man and Father, Christ Jesus. 11:09 Yes, amen. 11:11 Make sure you take time to introduce your child 11:14 to the masculine character of Christ, 11:17 as a husband, as a provider, as a shepherd, as a comforter. 11:23 Help your child or your son to learn those traits 11:27 that Christ demonstrated to His church 11:30 because there was no greater man than Christ, 11:32 let's face it. 11:33 None. There was none. 11:35 There is no greater man than Christ 11:38 and the model of life that He demonstrated for us 11:41 while He was here. 11:42 And because that was instilled in you, 11:44 whether you want it or not, 11:46 your mom instilled that in you, 11:47 it still, it was able to bring you back 11:50 to that same Christ. 11:52 He was very important. Yes. 11:53 There is a lot 11:54 that I seemingly did not listen to, 11:57 and I tell folk all the time 11:59 when I'm able to see them today. 12:00 Some often, a lot of folk in church that did, 12:04 at some part that are making effort 12:05 to reach out to me, they don't even remember it, 12:07 you know. 12:08 And I remind them, 12:10 "You said this to me at this time. 12:12 I remember when you said that. 12:14 I didn't react at that moment, 12:16 but later in life as it came and it made sense, 12:19 the seed planted and it bear fruit. 12:22 And I appreciate what you have to share, 12:23 you know, and I know you have to go 12:24 'cause I know Denry 12:26 should probably be here right now. 12:27 So really appreciate you coming. 12:29 We'll see you later on. 12:30 Okay, thank you. Absolutely. 12:31 It was great being here. Great to see you again. 12:36 Denry. How's it going? 12:37 Hey, how's it going, man? Good to see you, man. 12:39 Good to see you. Welcome, welcome, welcome. 12:40 Thanks for having me. 12:42 So we're just talking about, 12:43 you know, saving our young men from violence and, you know, 12:45 Paul has shared some great testimony, 12:47 and Gordon had shared and, you now, what about you? 12:50 What is your take 12:51 on how do we save our young men from violence? 12:53 How do we help them? 12:54 You know, we keep using this one word, 12:56 mentoring. 12:57 The importance of... 12:59 If there's not a father at home, 13:00 or even if there is a father, that father needs to mentor, 13:04 disciple the children. 13:05 It really was the men of the church 13:09 and my uncles who saved my life, 13:11 you know, I wasn't as out there 13:14 as Paul in the sense of the violence part, 13:17 I was more in a dance hall. 13:18 You know, I loved party, I loved the girls, 13:21 I loved that life, the social life, 13:23 you know, and my uncles, 13:25 you know, they were in the music, 13:26 playing the music, and I wanted to be like them. 13:28 You know, I want to be like them. 13:30 I told myself that when I'm 16 years old, 13:32 I want to start having children, 13:34 I want to have that kind of life, 13:36 but in a party life, attracts the violence. 13:40 You know, you can't separate the two, 13:41 you know, it's not realistic because you have alcohol, 13:44 you have drugs and stuff like that. 13:46 And I never forget one... 13:48 Couple of times, but one specific time, 13:51 there was this roar in a party in the Bronx, 13:54 and it was an open party in the park, 13:56 and we're having fun. 13:57 I mean, everybody is drinking, everybody is having fun. 14:00 I mean, even there were kids there and everything. 14:02 All of a sudden, shots were fired. 14:05 Shots were fired. 14:06 I was on the stage with my uncle, 14:08 and I never forget my uncle, he jumped on us, 14:13 myself, my cousin, 14:15 and my little cousin, little girl. 14:17 He jumped on top of us and saved our lives. 14:20 Wow. 14:21 And so much, there were bullet holes 14:23 on the wall behind us. 14:26 Mercy. You see what I'm saying? 14:27 My other uncle, we were driving home from that 14:32 because everybody just got in their car, 14:34 panic, and ran. 14:35 And he was like, "Denry, this life is not for you." 14:40 He was like, "I know it looks flashy. 14:41 I know it looks like gold. 14:43 I know it looks all great and everything, 14:45 but this is not you. 14:47 This life is not for you. 14:49 Stay in the church. 14:51 Be a preacher." 14:52 I mean, he was just... 14:54 I didn't even think about pastoring. 14:55 I mean, I'm like 18 that time. 14:58 You know, I'm in that crossroad. 15:01 And he was just like, "Stay in the church." 15:02 And then... 15:04 Okay. 15:05 While I'm in church now, my stepfather, great guy, 15:09 great guy, but he had his issues. 15:10 His father totally reject him. 15:12 So when he came into my life at 11, 12 years old, 15:16 he really didn't know how to deal with this dynamic. 15:20 Here's a son, 15:21 a boy that's not his biological son. 15:24 So he tried a couple of things, but he tried, he tried. 15:30 We're closer now, 15:31 but it was the men of the church, 15:33 the elders of the church who taught me 15:35 how to put a suit together, 15:37 you know, how to treat a woman, 15:40 you know, how to pray. 15:42 My stepfather taught me how to worship 15:45 every Friday night, 15:47 every Friday night. 15:48 He couldn't sing a lick. 15:50 I mean, he can't sing to save his life, 15:52 but every Friday, as soon as the sun goes down, 15:55 he will stop everything he's doing, 15:56 even if the house is half clean, 15:58 and he'll get his Bible and his hymnal, 16:00 and sit in the living room, 16:02 and starts singing to open the Sabbath. 16:05 And if I'm coming out late, he's like, "Where were you? 16:08 Sabbath, you know, Sabbath sunset." 16:10 That was a biblical principle at the home. 16:13 It was the spirituality, the prayer life. 16:16 And so the men of the church, and my uncles, 16:18 you know, pushing me out of that dance hall scene 16:21 is really what saved my life, 16:23 and I have to thank God for God using men, 16:28 men to drag me out of darkness 16:32 into the marvelous light of Jesus Christ. 16:34 So that's spiritual, 16:36 the spiritual life in the home is an important component. 16:38 Oh, yes. 16:39 Fathers being spiritual, 16:40 it's an important component to saving our young men 16:44 from violence of the street. 16:46 And I do believe again 16:48 that family worship is an important part 16:51 as far as we need to cover our children. 16:54 I love the way Ellen White puts it that, 16:56 you know, I think I shared this already, 16:59 is that the role of the priest in the home 17:03 is, every morning, you get on your knees, 17:07 and you pray, 17:08 and you intercede for your children, 17:10 for a known as well as their unknown sins, 17:13 cover them with prayer 17:14 because when you cover them with prayer, 17:16 that's where you find the power, 17:19 that's where they find the power to overcome 17:21 some of the temptations, 17:23 overcome the vicissitudes of this life. 17:26 So the role, I think men, 17:27 we are to step up and be praying men, 17:30 covering our children, 17:32 don't let them go a day without prayer, 17:33 as well as the mothers. 17:35 So that spiritual life is an important component 17:38 in saving our young men. 17:39 You know, part of it too is, as men, we men, 17:42 if that's proper English, 17:43 need to allow Christ to transform us. 17:45 Yes. Yeah, yes. 17:47 And accept forgiveness. Yes. 17:48 You know, we look at Him as a hero in the Bible, 17:51 one of the greatest Bible heroes, David, 17:55 but he was a terrible father 17:57 because David held on to that guilt 18:00 and therefore, in stuff 18:02 where he could have stopped his sons, 18:04 you know, when one brother raped the sister, 18:08 the other brother wanted vengeance. 18:10 Well, he could have stood in there and say, 18:11 "Look, I know it's wrong, but this is how we do it." 18:15 Or rather, what happened? 18:16 A year later, the brother kills the brother, 18:19 and then the whole mess happens with all of his children. 18:23 So as fathers, even though, we all have our past, 18:28 we all have our past, 18:30 but we have to let God use that past 18:32 as our testimony to our children 18:34 to keep pointing people to Jesus. 18:36 Yes. 18:37 I came to the grip that I can't find out 18:39 because even those men of the church, 18:41 they were not perfect. 18:42 My uncles are not perfect, 18:43 they're still in that social life. 18:45 They have some wisdom, but they're not perfect. 18:47 So I had to learn as a young man in my 20s, 18:51 my father is in heaven. 18:55 My example of a father is the guy in heaven. 18:59 And so I patterned my life now 19:02 as a father who have children after my father in heaven. 19:07 You know, and I struggle with that still. 19:10 Even though I'm a chaplain, 19:12 I still struggle with the knowledge 19:15 of the responsibility, 19:17 the spirituality behind fatherhood, 19:20 of being the spiritual leader of my home. 19:22 You know, I've read Spirit of Prophecy, 19:24 I read, you know, studied the Bible. 19:26 I've Googled different things, 19:28 you know, whatever you wanna call it, 19:30 I've done it, you know, 19:31 but what does that look like 19:34 so you don't feel like you're failing, 19:36 spiritually failing your family? 19:39 As a father, what do I do to... 19:41 Well, to know that I'm doing okay? 19:43 I think you model... 19:44 You have to model the life and be real. 19:48 A lot of times, we're fake, 19:50 you know, try to show our children one side, 19:53 and, you know, try to be something else. 19:56 We need to be real with our children. 19:58 Yes, we're going to make mistakes, 19:59 but I remember my son saying to me, 20:03 "The one thing that I know 20:05 is at a certain time I find my dad praying. 20:07 I can go in his office, and my dad is on his knees, 20:11 and he's there for hours." 20:13 My son, I've watched him now, 20:17 he's actually modeling the same thing. 20:20 Well, "Justin, where are you?" "I'm in worship." 20:24 He's been in worship for over an hour. 20:27 This is my 19-year-old, now 20. 20:30 And all I did was model. 20:33 And I wasn't doing it for him, I'm doing this for me, 20:37 this is for my spiritual development 20:39 because I'm covering my family, I'm covering my children, 20:42 but just that model, you know... 20:44 And what we have done in our home, 20:47 we have allowed them to express themselves 20:51 in family worship. 20:52 In other words, we've taught them, 20:54 "Listen, you have to develop 20:56 a personal relationship with Jesus. 20:58 You have to get to know Jesus yourself." 21:01 So in the mornings, 21:02 we're not concerned about pulling the family together. 21:05 What we're concerned about 21:06 is them having 21:08 their own personal relationship, 21:09 because we're going to be out of picture. 21:11 If they don't know Christ for themselves, 21:13 if they don't have that relationship 21:14 for themselves, 21:16 then I believe it's not gonna be the best. 21:19 So model it, 21:21 teach them to have that relationship, 21:24 and just be real, got to be real. 21:27 So what I'm listening to you saying is, 21:29 it's truly not that difficult per se 21:32 as maybe the church society might say it 21:36 because, you know, my five-year-old, 21:38 we get in the car, automatically, 21:40 "Dad, we can't leave, we got to pray." 21:42 Or if we do something, even the one-year-old, 21:45 when we put a food in front of her, 21:47 she'll put her hands together, 21:49 and she'll mumble something 21:50 'cause can't understand it, 21:51 but you hear the amen loud and clear. 21:53 And, you know, I think sometimes, as fathers, 21:57 you know, especially, as pastors, 22:00 or whatever you wanna call, as fathers, 22:02 I think sometimes we overcomplicate spirituality. 22:05 Yeah. 22:06 We make it like this huge beast that we cannot understand it, 22:10 like we have to take like the Old Testament, 22:13 we had to take this lamb and go slaughter it. 22:17 It seems like... I know I've done it. 22:18 It seems like overcomplicating the spirituality 22:20 when in fact it's modeling. 22:22 Yes, modeling. 22:24 Not perfection, 22:25 but modeling imperfection 22:27 through the perfection of Christ. 22:28 Amen. 22:30 Because that's what Jesus did. Yes. 22:31 Jesus, what Jesus did? 22:33 Is He modeled? He modeled, yeah. 22:34 And that's all we need to do is just to model, 22:37 but I'm gonna stress it again, be real. 22:42 Be real, be authentic. Yeah. 22:44 You know, as a pastor, 22:47 you don't realize 22:48 that you have two churches here in your congregation. 22:53 The one that sees you on Sabbath, 22:56 and in prayer meeting or whatever, Bible studies, 22:58 whatever, but there is a church 23:00 that sees you every day, and that's your family. 23:04 That's my family. 23:05 It blew me away, my son, 23:07 recently my son at Children's day, 23:09 they ask my son to preach, one of the oldest. 23:13 And the other one said, he's gonna sing, 23:14 do the appeal song, right? 23:17 So I'm helping him prepare, helping him prepare, 23:19 I got his notes together and everything. 23:22 That Sabbath, he's supposed to preach. 23:23 I go to him, I was like, "Where's your notes?" 23:25 He said, "Don't worry." 23:26 He said, "I'm not going to use the notes." 23:28 Where he got that from? 23:30 I don't preach with notes. 23:33 So he want to preach, he saw me preach without notes, 23:37 and he did a fantastic job, 23:39 and then the younger brother came 23:40 and sang and did the appeal, 23:42 and all these children and teenagers 23:43 came off for the appeal. 23:45 I mean, you want to see that. 23:47 You don't want to hear that your son is in a casket 23:50 or going off to prison or anything. 23:52 You want to hear 23:53 that your son has given his life to God, 23:56 even your daughter, and then my little daughter, 23:58 she's four years old, she did the welcome. 24:00 She wasn't shy, she wasn't timid. 24:02 "Good morning, church." 24:03 And she was just so, you know... 24:05 Because they see that I'm not afraid. 24:06 So people are like, 24:08 "Why is your children don't afraid 24:09 to go up to the pulpit. 24:10 They're not afraid to pray, 24:12 they're not afraid to do these things." 24:13 Because they see my wife 24:16 and myself modeled these things. 24:19 So they follow our examples. 24:20 Even one morning, my son was... 24:23 The night before, my son was like, 24:25 "How come we don't have family worship 24:27 in the mornings no more? 24:28 We have worship at night, 24:30 but we used to have family worship 24:31 in the mornings." 24:33 And my wife and I looked at each other and like, 24:34 "Wow!" 24:36 He's eight years old, and he wants to have worship. 24:40 You know, you brought up a good point is the fact that, 24:42 in order to keep and save our young men 24:45 from violence including our church, 24:47 we have to show them the imperfect relationship 24:51 through the perfect relationship 24:52 with Christ, 24:54 meaning that you know, 24:55 we're not gonna be perfect fathers, 24:57 but we got to show them that there's a perfect God 24:59 that can save them from themselves. 25:01 And I don't know, 25:03 that's just something that I picked up 25:04 from what you were saying. 25:05 What do you think, Gordon? 25:07 I think it's true showing them how imperfect we are 25:11 being able to let them have... 25:14 talk to them about different stories 25:15 about your life day-by-day, 25:17 you know, they don't think their dad is, 25:20 you know, so perfect, you know, whatever. 25:22 For me, my son, 25:24 you know, he sees and he knows the relationship 25:27 that his father have with God. 25:29 He sees my prayer time, 25:31 he knows that I'm there praying. 25:32 And now, in his devotional life, 25:36 he's actually picking up the same things. 25:37 He spends hours in devotional prayer. 25:41 And so the modeling is important, 25:43 just being there and being real, 25:45 you know, authentic. 25:47 So you're not showing one face at church 25:49 and your one face at home. 25:50 Yeah, just be real for your children. 25:52 I think it's the best in it, any parent can do. 25:54 Yeah. 25:55 And what are you passionate about? 25:57 What are you passionate about? 25:58 If you're passionate about God, 26:00 it's a higher chance for your children 26:02 to be passionate about God too. 26:04 If you're passionate about money, 26:05 whether you are working an honest job and working hard, 26:07 and they see you working hard, 26:09 then they're going to think about the easier way 26:11 which can lead to violence. 26:12 So what are you passionate about? 26:14 And then, you have to know your children 26:15 'cause my daughter is totally different 26:17 from my son. 26:18 And she needs a little more work, 26:21 little more encouragement. 26:23 So we have to encourage her, we have to be there for her. 26:26 And my son, you know, he's pretty much there, 26:30 but she needs encouragement. 26:32 Different styles, 26:33 different methods for the different children. 26:35 It's not one size fit all, but I think modeling to her, 26:41 she more will grab the mother, her mom side of the modeling, 26:45 but that Christian modeling is very important. 26:47 It goes a long way. Yeah, I appreciate that. 26:48 I appreciate that 26:50 'cause just can keep going on, man. 26:51 We have a lot to talk about 26:53 and I just appreciate everything you shared. 26:56 And for the viewing audience, 26:59 again, fatherhood is not meant to be perfect, 27:02 you know, the reason we do this program, 27:05 the reason we sit down and discuss so openly 27:07 is because we wanna show you that as ministers, 27:10 we're just as messed up as you are. 27:12 Mercy. We're just as imperfect. 27:14 Yeah. 27:15 You know, we may be on camera, but we can't hide who we are. 27:22 At the same time, 27:23 we can't hide who God has made us to be. 27:25 Amen. 27:26 We're all broken, we're all... 27:28 You know, we can all fell under category of bad fathers, 27:32 but God knows we're good fathers, 27:34 we're just imperfect, 27:35 we need a little tweaking, a little help. 27:38 And in order to keep our young men, young ladies, 27:40 our kids from violence, 27:43 we have to do the very best we can 27:46 to hang on to Christ. 27:49 It may seem redundant at times, it may seem weird, 27:51 but you know what? 27:52 It saves lives because Christ saves lives. 27:56 Do yourself a favor. 27:57 Be a father. Thank you for watching. |
Revised 2020-10-06