Participants:
Series Code: AFH
Program Code: AFH000023S
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00:01 A good father takes time to play.
00:05 He has strong integrity. 00:08 He is someone that is truly dedicated. 00:12 He is not afraid to show his love. 00:16 He is a caring provider. 00:20 And he is a kind spiritual leader. 00:22 These are just a few ways to describe a father's heart. 00:28 Hi, and welcome to A Father's Heart. 00:29 I'm your host, Xavier. 00:30 And today, we're going to be discussing 00:32 the cultural differences of manhood. 00:34 And with me to discuss that are my friends Denry and Paul. 00:38 How you guys doing today? 00:39 Hey, blessed to be here again, brother. 00:41 All right, all right. Thanks for another opportunity. 00:43 So there's a high expectation for us, 00:46 biblically, as fathers. 00:48 What about culturally? 00:49 Are there differences 00:51 and what can we do to not fizzle out 00:55 or I guess fall through the cracks 00:58 or compromise our spirituality? 01:01 Well, I think we have to remain adaptive 01:03 and that in itself may be a challenge, 01:05 how do we adapt to 01:08 without compromising biblical standard, 01:11 but we're in a culture that's ever changing, 01:13 we're in a society 01:15 wherein its culture is ever changing. 01:17 Our children are experiencing 01:19 a different cultural environment 01:21 certainly than we did or our parents did, 01:25 yet we have to be able to be observant enough, 01:28 responsive enough, proactive enough to learn 01:32 and understand that culture 01:34 and somehow be able to maintain Christian standards in the home 01:40 while not engaging too much conflict, 01:44 you know, to the point where you nullify 01:46 what it is that you're trying to instill 01:47 in your child. 01:49 So don't be ignorant 01:52 would be my first word of encouragement 01:54 to all the fathers and all the parents out there. 01:56 Don't be ignorant to the culture of the times, 01:58 the fact that you are learned or knowledgeable of it 02:03 does not mean you condone or accept it, 02:05 but at least understand how it works... 02:06 Exactly. 02:08 So that we can maintain a balance 02:09 within the nuclear family. 02:12 You know, one of the... 02:13 I don't know 02:14 if there are studies been done about it, 02:16 but, you know, in the '70s, '80s, and '90s and 2000s, 02:21 you have a lot of immigrants coming into the United States 02:24 from the West Indies where we came from, 02:27 and I don't think our parents were ready for it. 02:30 Think about it for a second. 02:32 They're raised... 02:33 You know my family were raised in the country area 02:35 of Jamaica, right? 02:36 So they're not used to skyscrapers, 02:38 they're not used to bus, subways, 02:41 those kind of situation, 02:43 they were used to going out 02:44 4 o'clock in the morning, taking care of the cows, 02:46 all these things, and now they transition, 02:49 come to New York City, hall of New York, right? 02:53 Total cultural clash, 02:55 and they're still trying to raise us 02:58 with a West Indian mindset in an American society. 03:03 I would remember my dad even saying things like this, 03:07 "I know what you're thinking 03:08 'cause that's what I was doing when I was younger 03:11 or I've been there already, I've been there already, 03:13 I've done that already." 03:15 Or, you know, I was like, "No, you don't. 03:18 You never went in the subway when you were younger." 03:20 And so there is that cultural clash for us 03:24 who came to this country, 03:26 you know, there's certain way of thinking, 03:28 they used to... 03:30 The men always at outside, 03:31 working either in the field or have a career, 03:34 the wives either at home 03:36 or doing some merchant job of selling fabric and stuff, 03:39 they come here, 03:41 sometimes the roles are reversed. 03:42 My mom went to get a GED, 03:44 my stepdad came into my life later on 03:46 and I remember in conversations, 03:48 he would say, "Man, 03:50 I wish my wife would be at home 03:52 and be a wife and cook some food for me, 03:54 you know, like they used to do back in the days." 03:56 But my mom was out there working two jobs 03:59 to match his income 04:00 so that we can have food on the table, 04:04 that's a real challenge, 04:05 that was a real challenge for us. 04:06 It's tough. It's tough. 04:08 We have to balance all of that 04:10 as I'm saying with the evolving needs. 04:13 What we have to ensure also 04:15 relative to what Denry is saying, 04:17 we have to ensure 04:19 that we know the constants, all right? 04:21 So things may change wherein 04:23 you are no longer having family breakfast, 04:28 you're no longer having family lunch, 04:30 God forbid, you're no longer having 04:31 family dinner together 04:33 because everybody is off doing something, 04:34 you know, or even when we do, we have this new very... 04:40 What is it? 04:41 I don't even know what to term it, 04:43 but where everybody is in the device, 04:46 everybody is in iPad and iPhone or Android or whatever, 04:50 you know, everybody is in some kind of electronic device, 04:53 even when we are at times 04:54 where we should be cohesively bonding, 04:57 but the constants are, one in devotion, 05:00 daily devotion, 05:01 whatever time it is in your family, 05:03 you wanna make sure 05:04 you instill consistency within that exercise, 05:09 regardless of what cultural nuance 05:12 or changes you're facing within the home. 05:15 Something that I'd like to talk about a little bit 05:18 is culture and discipline 05:21 within the home of the Father 05:23 because God is so good, I got out of seminary, 05:27 I didn't receive 05:29 a full time commitment immediately 05:30 so I continued in the area of social work, 05:34 and so within that timeframe, 05:35 I became a program supervisor 05:38 for southwest Michigan area of Berrien County 05:41 supervising four counties, 05:44 population of over about more than 50,000 for sure, 05:48 but all the cases for those four counties 05:51 would end up on my desk, 05:54 anything dealing with CPS and reunification of children 06:00 to their bio parents. 06:01 So these are parents 06:03 who had infractions in their home 06:04 that caused the state to remove their children, 06:06 place the children in foster care, they are now, 06:09 they have completed a court process 06:11 and have demonstrated the court 06:12 in some way that they're competent 06:14 to correct the mistakes they made 06:16 and parent the child, 06:17 but before the court releases wardship, 06:20 they would have to complete my program. 06:22 And there were times 06:24 when, you know, at any given day, 06:25 I'd have about 30 to 40 cases on my desk 06:29 that I'm reviewing 06:30 and it would hit me like a brick 06:34 when I would go through some of those cases 06:36 and recognize by the demographics 06:38 and the details shared, 06:39 this is a Seventh-day Adventist person. 06:41 Wow. I'd be like, "Whoa." 06:43 And then I would read further 06:44 the details of what caused the removal from the home, 06:47 and sometimes, it would stun me 06:51 that a Christian parent was demonstrating 06:53 this kind of behavior in parenting. 06:56 And in some cases, I could clearly see 06:58 this case should not be here, this person... 07:01 There was a breakdown in communication 07:03 and understanding somewhere. 07:05 So what I'm saying here is it's important for us 07:07 in the church to be educated 07:09 on the appropriate way to discipline our children 07:12 as it pertains to the laws of the state, 07:15 what we need to be aware of 07:18 and what we need to ensure we do or don't do 07:21 and your cultural background, 07:24 whether you were from the US originally or not, 07:27 we are all under the umbrella of a Christian culture, 07:30 of a biblical culture. 07:32 And there are those of us who read or receive 07:35 this biblical culture, 07:37 take it literally in many ways, 07:39 you know, all the varied reference 07:41 may have spared a rod and spoil the child 07:43 etcetera, etcetera, 07:44 and we take that to the extreme. 07:48 So it's important to know that balance. 07:52 You know, and that has been a good point too 07:54 because, for example, for me, I came from Puerto Rico, 07:59 different culture, different setting, 08:01 you know, it's a patriarchal culture, 08:04 where as they say, 08:06 you know, the women are supposed to be 08:08 in the kitchen. 08:10 Given the fact that my home that I grew up in, 08:12 it wasn't like that... 08:14 Oh. 08:15 'Cause my mom wasn't having that. 08:17 I was about to say, "Watch it." 08:19 Exactly. My mom wasn't having that. 08:20 You know, I was raised differently, 08:22 my parents shared the balance equally. 08:25 My dad taught me, you know, you share a home equally, 08:29 you know, if she cooks and cleans, 08:31 you can also cook and clean, 08:33 you know, but where my clash comes in 08:36 is the division, 08:39 what I mean by that is I'm here in the States, 08:42 I've been here for many, many, many, many years, 08:46 but I still cannot get used to it 08:48 because I try to say hi to my neighbor 08:51 and they're shutting the door before I can get a word out. 08:55 Like you said, everybody's on something 08:56 or some kind of electronic device, 08:57 nobody talks to each other, 08:59 I'm not used to that, 09:00 I'm used to saying good morning. 09:01 You know, when I go back home 09:03 to visit or go to my wife's island 09:04 of Antigua to go visit, 09:06 you say good morning. 09:07 Good morning. Yes. 09:09 If you don't speak up... Yes. 09:10 That means that you're letting the whole neighborhood know 09:12 that there's something going on between you two, 09:14 there's a beef that's, 09:16 you know, there's an issue that you two have 09:18 because you're not saying good morning. 09:20 I'm not used 09:21 to such a individualistic culture. 09:24 And my girls, I'm trying to teach them, 09:26 you know, be inclusive, not exclusive... 09:28 Yeah. 09:30 You know, and that's something 09:31 that's permeated our churches as well 09:32 because as men in the church, as fathers, 09:35 we see that we have slowly drifted 09:40 and become more of an exclusive culture... 09:43 Yeah. Not an inclusive. 09:46 So how do we work on that? 09:48 How can we change that 09:49 exclusivity of our churches into an inclusive, 09:53 you know, place for all people 09:55 especially as men? 09:56 It's a community, church community, 09:59 having more than just worship on Sabbath, 10:03 afternoon programs where people dialogue, 10:05 they share small groups at people's homes 10:09 so they could share ideas, share viewpoints. 10:13 You know, I've seen with families... 10:15 There are three Rs 10:16 that's always having a hard time. 10:18 Respect and understanding of what respect means, 10:21 understanding that what's responsibilities, 10:23 and understanding of roles, especially with cultures, 10:26 all three of those mean different things. 10:29 I was raised in also a Hispanic Jamaican home. 10:34 My stepfather is from Costa Rica, 10:37 his parent is a Hispanic, right? 10:39 We're South American, yeah. Yeah, Central. 10:41 Central, yeah, Central America, but he was Hispanic, right? 10:45 So he had a Latino background. 10:50 Basically, his principles were from a Spanish home 10:53 and my mother is Jamaican, 10:55 and so there were times their view of manners, 10:59 respect would clash. 11:01 His rule was basically if you see anybody, 11:04 you talk to them, right? 11:06 Her rule was, "Well, we're in the United States, 11:08 these people are strangers. 11:10 I don't want them to hurt our children. 11:12 If we know them, yes, we say hello to them, 11:15 but if we don't know them, 11:16 you know, we may nod and move on." 11:18 And this was also a culture in New York City. 11:21 In New York City, you don't talk to strangers, 11:24 even adults. 11:26 When I went to Alabama, to Huntsville, Alabama, 11:28 everybody's saying hello to me. 11:29 I'm like, "Why? 11:31 Did I do something wrong?" 11:32 Do I know you? Exactly. 11:34 Do I know you? Do I owe you money? 11:35 And so even there... 11:36 Then the roles, you know, in the home, 11:38 like as I mentioned before, 11:39 my dad, he just had this mindset, 11:41 the wife needs to be at home, taking care of the children, 11:45 cooking the food, 11:46 you know, doing a little washing here, 11:48 whatever. 11:49 I go out, I go hunt and provide the food, 11:52 she comes home cooks it, 11:54 I sit around on the couch and wait until it's ready. 11:58 Man, there was a clash within that 12:00 'cause my mother was like, 12:02 "No, that's not how we're going to do this." 12:04 And so there was always this arguing. 12:06 So here I am, here I am now, 12:10 this junior teenager or early teen, 12:13 and I'm watching this 12:15 and I'm watching these two go back and forth, 12:16 two different cultures clashing, 12:18 and here I am trying to learn who I am, my identity, 12:22 in America. 12:24 Do you know where I really got my identity? 12:25 The church. The church. 12:29 When we would have the pastor of the church like, 12:32 Kendal Guy, Abraham Jules, 12:33 they will have these rap sessions, 12:35 these coming together... 12:37 The men of the church will talk 12:39 and the ladies will go on another side and they talk. 12:41 You know, people don't do that no more, 12:42 I'm going to bring that back as a pastor, 12:44 and just these conversations... 12:46 And so you hear new ideas 12:48 and my stepfather would hear these ideas, 12:51 and go like, "Oh, oh. 12:53 Okay, okay, I can do that. 12:55 I think I can do that." 12:57 And so that helped us, 12:58 so the church community doing those things 13:01 outside of worship, 13:03 but coming together as a community, 13:05 building and growing together, 13:08 that really is what helped me 13:10 when my parents were going back and forth 13:12 like a tennis match. 13:13 Boom, boom, boom. 13:14 I went to the church and I would say, "Okay." 13:17 I would say, "This is the path I wanna take." 13:21 That's crazy. 13:22 You know, and I'm reminded of that 13:23 because Jesus Himself, 13:27 He was an anomaly so to speak, 13:32 you know, He did not fit the cultural norm. 13:35 That's why He got crucified... Exactly. 13:37 Because He didn't fit the cultural norm. 13:39 You know, and you mentioned something, 13:40 you know, Jamaican 13:43 getting used to acclimating yourself 13:46 to a different culture 13:47 while still retaining your own culture, 13:49 and that's something that is extremely difficult 13:53 because on one hand, 13:55 you know, this is how you do things back home, 13:58 but now you're in a different home 14:00 and it seems like it's hitting you 14:02 from every angle. 14:03 You know, how do you keep a leveled head 14:06 to be able to help your kids? 14:08 Because I know one of the demands for me, 14:10 people always ask me, "You're from Puerto Rico, 14:11 right, you teach your kids Spanish?" 14:14 And I'm like, well, I am, 14:15 but now because you're telling me to 14:17 because the culture or whatever you want to call it 14:20 says I have to, 14:21 but it's because I want them to learn a different language. 14:23 I want them to know where they come from 14:25 because that's where I found my identity 14:27 when I learned my identity here 14:30 but when I found out Puerto Rico, my ancestry 14:33 and that's how I found my identity 14:35 and the church enhanced it by community... 14:38 Yeah. 14:39 'Cause that's what we were taught in seminary 14:41 that people come to church, 14:42 but they stay 14:44 because of the relationships they build. 14:45 Yeah. That's right. 14:47 So culturally... 14:49 I'm just, I'm at loss of words. 14:51 What can we do? What do we do? 14:52 If I can say just before you go. 14:53 Yeah, sure. 14:55 Culture is seasoning, it's flavor, okay? 14:58 Our spirituality of faith, that's the meat or the salad, 15:03 whatever it is, it's culture is... 15:06 So just like some people like paprika, 15:08 some people like turmeric, that helps to season the food. 15:11 The problem is 15:13 when we make culture our religion, 15:17 a culture our, you know, that this has to be this way. 15:19 Culture is a seasoning because the way... 15:22 Even if he and I were from the same community, 15:26 we still see things different. 15:27 He is raising his home, I'm raising my home, 15:29 so I'm gonna bring my seasoning to the table, 15:32 he's gonna bring his seasoning to the table. 15:34 Absolutely. Absolutely. 15:36 I think remaining culturally relevant 15:39 is very important 15:40 and the only way we can do that 15:42 is by being culturally knowledgeable... 15:44 Yeah. 15:46 Culturally informed, culturally educated. 15:48 As Christian fathers, 15:50 we have to be careful that we are not to... 15:54 You used the word exclusive, inclusive. 15:57 A lot of us, we have a sense of dominant culture, 16:00 which of course is ours. 16:02 So, you know, 16:04 you tell your child something like, 16:05 "Oh, we don't do it like that in here, 16:07 you know, where you get that from? 16:10 You know, we don't do it like that." 16:11 You know, whatever form of authority 16:14 you're gonna express. 16:15 You have to be careful with that. 16:18 Learn to use Facebook, learn to text, 16:23 you know, at least learn those things, 16:26 learn some form of social media 16:28 to communicate with your children. 16:31 That's the way they communicate, okay, 16:33 send them a text message. 16:34 You know, it made no sense to me that... 16:36 I remember the first day, phone buzzes, 16:40 pick up the phone, it's my daughter Avia, 16:41 "Dad, how come blah, blah, blah." 16:44 I was like, 16:45 "Didn't I just hear your voice? 16:47 Aren't you in the house? 16:49 Avia!" 16:50 Then I hear from way, 16:52 you know, another floor over the couple of rooms like, 16:53 "Yes!" 16:55 "Why you texting me, child, you're in the house? 16:57 Still she was texting. 16:58 If you got something to ask me, come ask me." 17:02 You know, but I learned, 17:03 hey, that's the way they communicate. 17:05 She doesn't want to leave her bedroom, 17:07 she can easily just send a text message to me. 17:09 So I learned to communicate by text with her also, 17:11 these things are important, 17:12 and as I'm saying also even as it pertains 17:15 to the civil culture within which we function, 17:19 we must learn and understand it. 17:20 This issue that I mentioned earlier of culture 17:23 and discipline is a very serious one. 17:26 So churches also, we as fathers, 17:28 need to do our best to educate our congregations 17:32 and our communities 17:34 on how to understand and how to function 17:37 within those cultural norms. 17:39 Yeah. 17:40 And I like that because you brought something 17:41 a question to my mind that, 17:43 you know, I can be like that, 17:45 that's not how we do it back in Puerto Rico. 17:47 You know, and part of it is 17:49 because I see what the world's coming to, 17:51 what these young people are coming to, 17:53 you know, where CPS is called if you discipline them, 17:58 and if you spank them and it's not a feather, 18:01 then everybody gets mad, 18:03 you know, and just so many different things culturally 18:06 that I just... 18:08 Man, it just makes me angry, like, leave me alone. 18:11 Leave me alone, let me raise my children 18:13 the way I want to raise my children, 18:14 but, you know, you brought up a good question 18:17 that I think we can generalize it 18:19 to the church in general. 18:22 How do we adapt without compromising? 18:27 As fathers, as a church, as pastors, 18:30 how do we adapt to a culture, you know, and change up? 18:35 As they say, you know, 18:37 you have a different methods of delivery 18:40 through the years, they've changed, 18:41 the contents of the package hasn't changed, 18:44 but the way it's delivered has changed, 18:46 and it seems like a lot of times, 18:48 both in church and outside a church, 18:50 we seem to be stuck in the same delivery method 18:54 which is no longer functional at times. 18:56 So how do we adapt without compromise? 18:59 Yes, yes. 19:01 Being culturally relative 19:03 without compromising biblical principle. 19:07 You know, I think God through His Holy Spirit... 19:10 If you and I have a close relationship with God, 19:13 if we have a daily relationship with Him, 19:15 there's much of that 19:16 that the Holy Spirit will give to us, 19:19 the Holy Spirit will also teach us 19:21 new languages of communication, new forms of communication, 19:26 that's part of our general growth 19:28 and development 19:29 and we really should not be resistant to that. 19:33 I think it's helpful for us to the men's ministry 19:37 is another significant 19:39 one within our churches where as men, 19:41 we can get together and we can discuss these things 19:44 using the church as a forum in some sense, 19:49 Denry mentioned earlier, 19:50 I think you were referring to like AY programs 19:52 if I'm not mistaken. 19:53 You know, but having these type of workshops 19:55 within the church, whether it's AY, 19:56 whether it's on a Sunday, 19:58 just providing this education to the general public 20:01 and to the church population is also helpful, 20:05 but I think what retards the process 20:09 is this fear and insecurity 20:11 that I cannot be culturally relevant 20:14 and at the same time be biblical, 20:16 and that's not true, 20:17 that's not the model that Christ gave us either. 20:21 I think Christ did very well to interact. 20:24 Ellen White uses the term mingle, 20:26 but He took time to know individuals, 20:29 to understand their cultural mindset, 20:31 and then He spoke back to them in their language, 20:34 in their cultural language. 20:36 So I think we have to do the same in our homes, 20:38 with our children, 20:40 you've got to learn your child's cultural language 20:42 or your children's cultural language 20:43 and speak it back to them. 20:45 Yes. 20:46 It's still the gospel you're sharing with them, 20:48 but you're speaking in a different language. 20:50 Yes, you know, the danger is when you worded down 20:55 someone else's culture and make your culture superior. 21:00 You know, when one superiority over the other, 21:03 that's going to cause a war, so you don't cause confusion. 21:06 You know, I find with my young people, 21:08 they are looking for culture. 21:11 They're looking for culture, 21:13 they're gonna look for it in the music, 21:15 they're going to look for it in a celebrity, 21:17 they're looking for culture. 21:18 You know why? 21:19 Because culture also brews values. 21:22 Going back to my analogy with the seasonings. 21:24 There are some seasonings that are not good... 21:26 Mm-hmm. 21:28 You know, maybe, you know, they're so in your culture, 21:30 you should look and say, "Okay, 21:31 what things in my culture are not gonna help 21:34 my child's spirituality?" 21:36 Okay? 21:38 "My child is not going to grow in my culture." 21:40 So if it's a black pepper, 21:41 "Okay, we're not going to use black pepper no more, 21:43 but we have cayenne pepper in our culture, 21:46 so let's use that." 21:47 You see what I'm saying? 21:48 What are the things in my culture 21:50 that's gonna help bring my child closer to Christ? 21:54 What are the things in my culture that 21:56 that brings value to families? 21:58 You know, some of our cultures... 22:00 I love Hispanic cultures 22:02 in the sense that they love to come together 22:05 no matter what they're doing at the end of the day, 22:07 have beans and rice together, 22:09 you know, and the whole family is there. 22:11 I'll never forget, 22:12 we went to someplace else in Central America, right? 22:16 Right next to Costa Rica, 22:18 and it was breakfast, it was what? 22:20 Breakfast. 22:22 The whole family was there, the aunts, the uncles, 22:24 the grandma, grandpa, uncles, dad, children, everybody, 22:28 and everybody participated in making breakfast. 22:32 That was so dynamic. 22:33 I went back to America, got me a toast, 22:36 you know, and cream cheese, 22:38 you know, and everybody is rushing 22:40 in and out to go to work. 22:42 So there are things in our cultures 22:44 that are essence, 22:46 are flavors to help our spiritual growth, 22:49 and those are the things we need to with our children, 22:51 not just AY, 22:52 but I was also talking about Sundays 22:54 and, you know, having just some bonding 22:57 to different people of different cultures. 22:59 Appreciate different people's cultures 23:02 and that will help 23:03 because your children are always looking, 23:05 "What can I pass on? 23:07 I want to be like my dad. I want to be like my mom. 23:10 And then when I get older, 23:11 I would like to pass on something to my children." 23:14 So give them the good flavor of our culture 23:16 to help their spirituality. 23:18 We like avocados too. 23:20 Don't forget that. Yeah, we like it too. 23:22 We like the avocado 23:24 with a little bit of adobo right there. 23:25 Yes, sir. Amen. 23:28 Xavier, we were talking about role distinction 23:30 a little earlier also, 23:31 which I think is of great importance. 23:35 And I'm not too keen on stripping families 23:39 of their cultural understanding of their role distinction 23:43 because those things 23:45 are a part of a tightly woven fiber often 23:48 and if you try to undo it too much, 23:51 then everything just becomes like, 23:54 you know, loose yarn. 23:55 So for the family to remain a unit 23:58 and to remain secure as a unit, 24:00 it's often important that we respect those norms. 24:04 So if your culture 24:06 is such that only men put the garbage out 24:11 or only men lift heavy objects or only men do shopping 24:16 or whatever it may be or only men do dishes, 24:20 then if that's of value to you, that's fine. 24:25 I think you can still maintain those practices 24:28 or that role distinction 24:31 and yet remain centered within Christian principle, 24:37 even for the migrant population. 24:39 We've had a shift 24:41 wherein most women 24:44 are who satisfied the initial migration pool 24:47 to the US. 24:48 My mom came to the US in about 1968, 24:51 her younger sister, my aunt, came in the earlier 60s, 24:55 but it was mainly women 24:56 and this was a result 24:57 of the US facing sequential wars, 25:01 you know, we had World War II, 25:03 then Korea War, Vietnam War, 25:06 hope I have the order correctly, 25:07 but it depleted the female civil resource 25:11 within the United States. 25:13 So women were no longer teachers 25:15 and customer services, 25:17 and a lot of them went and worked in the factories. 25:19 So once the war was done 25:21 and the US societies now redeveloping, 25:23 the community is rebuilding itself, 25:25 there was this void of females to satisfy civil service roles, 25:28 and so the US opened its migration port 25:31 and influx thousands of Caribbean women 25:34 because they were English speaking 25:36 and they were right there and they were skilled 25:38 and licensed etcetera, etcetera. 25:39 Most of the men got left behind, 25:41 the men came after, 25:43 and then they had to kind of do catch up. 25:45 So a lot of our homes had matriarchs, 25:49 females taking the leading role. 25:51 And sometimes, 25:53 you're forced to do things like that 25:55 to adapt to a new cultural environment 25:58 or a new society 25:59 and you have to be malleable or flexible enough 26:02 to embrace these things 26:03 while yet remembering your Christian commitment 26:08 and biblical principle, but it can be done. 26:11 Yeah, it sounds like, 26:13 you know, like multicultural fatherhood 26:16 is one of like when you're cooking 26:18 a big meal, you know, it's almost, 26:21 I think, a heaven, 26:22 you know, because everybody's bringing 26:24 something different to the table, 26:26 but we can all feast on something great 26:29 if we just come together. 26:30 Yes. 26:32 And I think that's the most critical part 26:33 as fathers is coming together, acknowledging that, you know... 26:38 But we can't do it alone. We can't do it alone. 26:40 We have to do it together and just bring to the table 26:43 what you got. 26:44 You know, and work on what we need 26:46 and what we have 26:47 and just really look to Christ to bind us together. 26:51 And for the audience that's viewing, 26:53 you know, there's always that what if factor, 27:00 that question, that confusion 27:03 or, you know, 27:04 maybe you're from a different country, 27:05 you're brand new to this country, 27:08 you know, maybe there's some apprehension, 27:10 maybe you're just mad as a father 27:12 because you see the way the world is going 27:14 and this is not how we did it back in my day. 27:17 Well, a lot of us have those same thoughts, 27:19 but we've got to come to realize that, 27:21 yeah, it's not like back in our day, it's today. 27:24 You know, but just like Christ, 27:27 rise above and change the cultural norm 27:32 and adapt without compromising. 27:34 We too can do the same thing for our children 27:36 to show our children 27:38 the ability to be inclusive of all cultures, 27:42 not exclusive, 27:43 while at the same time holding tight 27:46 to that foundation that only Christ can give, 27:49 and that is such an important part for you 27:51 as a father to contribute to your child. 27:53 Please step up, step out and do your role as a father. 27:57 Thank you. |
Revised 2020-10-06