Participants:
Series Code: BOLS
Program Code: BOLS000106S
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00:04 [#S056-What Every Man Needs To Know About His Wife] (Part 1)
00:19 And so today 00:21 we want to go ahead and jump right into it. 00:23 So do me a favor. 00:24 Stand to your feet as we get ready to jump into the 00:26 word today. 00:27 One of the things 00:28 that we're going to do each week 00:29 is we're going to begin with a little covenant statement, 00:32 and we're going to put that up for your consideration, 00:35 and we're going to declare it 00:36 together before we get into the word. 00:39 So do me a favor. 00:40 For all of our married couples that's here. 00:42 If you're married, let me hear you shout. 00:43 Amen. 00:44 Today, a man. 00:46 So our theme for this 00:48 particular series 00:50 is putting principle 00:52 before feelings, 00:54 putting principle before feelings. 00:57 And that's going to drive our covenant statements 00:58 on a state together today. 01:00 Today, I commit myself 01:02 to a principled marriage. 01:04 I make the decision 01:05 to put principle before feelings. 01:08 I commit to doing what 01:09 I know to do, 01:11 not just what I feel like doing. 01:13 I will serve when I don't feel it. 01:16 I will love when I don't feel it. 01:18 I will respect 01:19 when I don't feel it. 01:20 I will forgive 01:21 when I don't feel it. 01:22 I will remain 01:24 when I don't feel it. 01:25 And I will pray 01:26 when I don't feel it. 01:28 Today I'm 01:29 coming out of my feelings 01:31 and embracing my principles. 01:33 Do me a favor. 01:34 Kiss your wife or husband and 01:35 say, embrace the principles. 01:38 Amen. 01:38 Amen. 01:40 Don't kiss nobody 01:40 else's husband or wife and say, 01:42 just kiss your own. 01:44 Amen. 01:45 Hallelujah 01:47 to me quickly in your Bibles 01:49 to Ephesians chapter five 01:50 and verse 25. 01:52 And today I'm going to aim this message a little bit 01:54 more directly in the directions of the husbands. 01:57 Do I have any strong husbands in the house today? 01:58 Amen. 02:00 Ladies, give your man a hearty 02:01 amen today. Amen. 02:03 If he's in chapter five, 02:04 in verse 25, 02:05 and then next Sabbath, 02:06 I'll spend a little bit more time 02:08 talking to the wives. 02:10 Ephesians five in verse 25 again, 02:13 when you get there, let me hear you shout. 02:15 Amen. 02:16 Write 02:18 Ephesians five in verse 02:19 25 and listen what it says. 02:20 Men of God. 02:22 Husbands love your wives 02:26 just as Christ loved what 02:29 the church 02:30 and gave himself for her 02:32 that he might sanctify. 02:33 And Clint's with the washing of the water, 02:36 washing of water by the word 02:37 that he might present to her, 02:39 present her to himself 02:40 a glorious church. 02:42 Not having spot 02:43 or wrinkle or any such thing, 02:46 but that she should be wholly 02:48 and without blemish. 02:50 And this is the key. 02:52 So husbands 02:53 ought to love their own wives 02:56 as their own bodies. 02:58 And those the he says he who 03:00 loves his wife does what 03:04 loves himself 03:05 for no one 03:06 ever hated his own flesh, 03:08 but nourishes and cherishes it, 03:11 just as the Lord does. 03:13 The Church. 03:15 And so today's Saints, for a little while, 03:16 I want to talk to you under the subject 03:18 what every man 03:21 needs to know about his wife, 03:24 whatever he man 03:25 needs to know about his wife. 03:26 Let's pray together today, father, 03:29 in this little while, 03:30 would you please say much? 03:32 Would you speak to us in an intelligent 03:35 and principled fashion? 03:38 I pray that your name 03:39 would be glorified 03:40 and that families would be reinforced, 03:43 that families would be instructed, 03:45 and that we would get the tools that we need 03:47 to experience the abundance 03:49 you've ordained. 03:50 So bless us. 03:51 To this end, we pray in the name of Jesus. 03:53 Let those who believe say together. 03:55 Amen. Any man 03:58 you may be seated in 03:58 the house of the Lord. 04:01 So as we get into it today, 04:02 one of the things that we'll do each week 04:04 is we'll try to put some resources before you, 04:06 some things that have kind of helped us 04:08 in our development process 04:10 that you can kind of study 04:11 and reference even after you leave. 04:14 There are three books I want to share with you today. 04:16 The first book 04:17 for the husbands I want to share with you 04:19 is it's entitled for Men Only. 04:22 It is by Son Tee and Jeff Feldon. 04:25 It is a great resource for your 04:27 for your reading, for your study, 04:28 for your consideration, 04:29 and then for husbands and wives. 04:31 There's another book 04:32 entitled Love and Respect by Dr. 04:36 Emerson Edgar Fitch. 04:37 And then the last book I want to put out for 04:39 your consideration is entitled 04:41 The Ad Business Home. 04:43 Come on, same. 04:44 And today Edmond is home 04:45 still one of the greatest books 04:47 to set a foundation 04:49 for growth and productivity going forward. 04:52 All right. 04:53 So let me just go back to our thesis statement 04:55 here quickly. 04:56 I thesis statement is putting 05:00 principle before feelings. 05:04 Now, I know 05:05 that doesn't give you goose bumps. 05:08 It's not sentimental, 05:11 but I've developed a very robust 05:13 conviction over the years 05:15 that essentially says 05:17 successful couples aren't meant 05:19 to be. 05:21 Successful couples make it work. 05:24 Let me say it again. 05:26 Successful couples 05:27 aren't meant to be. 05:29 Successful couples make it work. 05:32 And the reason 05:33 we like the idea of MIT to be 05:36 because it suggests that there is this 05:38 cosmic are universal, are, 05:40 in our case, spiritual 05:42 outlook, word power 05:44 that guarantees a good outcome. 05:48 But the truth is, friends of mine, 05:49 that even if we are meant to be 05:53 but we don't necessarily 05:54 put in the work 05:55 or the principle, guess what? 05:57 My outcome is still not going to be good. 06:00 And so I need you to know 06:01 that you can't rest on the assurance 06:04 that we've just been ordained 06:05 to be together. 06:06 You've got to put in the work 06:08 and the principle to make sure we stay together. 06:10 If that makes sense to me, you say amen. 06:13 I see. 06:14 One of the things I want to say about feelings 06:15 as it relates to principle 06:16 is that feelings 06:18 should never be 06:19 in the driver's seat 06:21 while principle is 06:22 in the passenger seat. 06:24 In other words, I read 06:26 a great quote online 06:27 that literally says, Feelings 06:29 make poor drivers. 06:32 I see one of the reasons that we are in trouble 06:34 is because we are functioning out of our feelings 06:37 and out of our principles. 06:38 How many of us married folk 06:39 and testify that 06:40 every day of your married life 06:42 you have to make a decision 06:43 against your feelings? 06:46 How many of us know there are no times 06:48 where you have to listen when you don't feel like 06:49 listening? 06:51 Well, you have to serve. 06:52 When you don't feel like serving. 06:54 Just as you have to cook. 06:55 When you don't feel like cooking. 06:57 Well, 06:57 you're going to have 06:58 to buy stuff when you don't feel like buying stuff. 07:00 Well, 07:01 sometimes you got to roll over at night 07:02 when you don't feel like rolling. 07:03 Oyama I did quite here today. 07:05 So, so many days you are making 07:08 a decision 07:10 outside of your feelings 07:12 and the reason, friends, you cannot put 07:14 feelings in the driver's seat 07:17 is that feelings drive 07:19 under the influence. 07:22 And see, the reason 07:23 some of our marriages have a DUI 07:26 is because 07:27 we're living emotionally 07:29 and not principally, 07:30 as the feelings 07:31 will get under the influence 07:33 of circumstance, 07:35 feelings will get 07:36 under the influence of comparison. 07:38 Feelings will get 07:39 under the influence of mood. 07:41 But one of the things about real love is 07:44 that it is bound by a principle 07:47 that is impervious 07:48 to the circumstance we're in. 07:50 In other words, I need us to understand 07:52 that love has a standard. 07:55 In other words, if you're in love, 07:56 it is not this sappy, emotionally 07:59 tingly feeling 08:00 that goes up 08:01 and down with circumstance. 08:03 And I need you to know that when you're operating 08:05 in Christlike love, there is a standard 08:08 that does not change 08:10 with the day or the circumstance. 08:12 In other words, when you're in real love, 08:14 there's a standard for how you treat your man 08:16 or your woman when you've got money. 08:18 And that standard doesn't 08:19 change when you're broke, 08:21 that there is a way 08:22 that you approach them 08:23 when things are medically well. 08:25 That standard doesn't change 08:26 when somebody gets sick. 08:28 There's a standard 08:29 you have when you both are gainfully employed. 08:30 But that standard doesn't change 08:32 when somebody loses their job. 08:34 And what I'm saying to us 08:35 today is I know this is man 08:36 not sexy, it's not sentimental 08:38 or that to give you goose bumps. 08:39 But I need you to understand 08:40 this fundamental principle is that men 08:43 good feelings flow out of firm 08:45 principle. 08:47 In other words, you will never have great feelings 08:51 if you have some time in principle. 08:53 And it's funny because there are times 08:55 when we think that marriage 08:56 is going to survive based upon 08:58 great vacations and trips 08:59 and anniversary celebrations. 09:01 I can tell the truth just this past Thursday, John 09:04 and I celebrated 20 years of marriage. 09:05 Fraser Law. 09:07 And guess what, man? 09:08 We went out Thursday night. 09:09 I was unavailable. 09:10 Come on and say, man, you can reach me, all right? 09:13 But I need you to understand 09:14 that that that the anniversary 09:16 and the vacation, those 09:18 are the events. 09:21 But we don't live in the events. 09:23 We live in the habits. 09:25 And see if you want to look 09:27 at the outcome of your marriage. 09:29 If you don't like the outcomes, 09:30 you've got to evaluate your habits. 09:33 In other words, 09:34 let me say it again the well-being 09:36 or the destruction of your marriage. 09:37 It is not going to reflect 09:39 outward circumstances. 09:40 It's going to reflect the habits 09:42 you practice every day. 09:44 So if you're wondering why it is 09:46 that he feels disrespected and indifferent 09:48 and separate from you, maybe you ought to look 09:51 at the habits and ways 09:51 in which you talk to him. 09:54 In other words, if she is feeling 09:56 just drained and disconnected 09:59 and resentful, 10:00 maybe she is not just a bitter, angry, 10:02 upset black woman. 10:04 Maybe you ought to look at the habits and the ways 10:06 you're dealing with her 10:08 and see, I need us to understand. 10:10 Friends of mine that at the end of the day, 10:12 your marriage is not going to reflect 10:14 outward circumstances. 10:16 It is going to reflect the habits 10:18 you live by. 10:19 And so quickly today, 10:20 as we move through it kind of in a hurry, 10:22 I'm going to talk about what every man 10:24 needs to know about his wife. 10:26 And there are some resources that I'm going to share with you 10:28 that I hope are blessed to today. 10:30 But I want to just begin 10:31 with you by showing you a video. 10:32 Some of us have seen it before. 10:34 That kind of gives a little bit of a symbolism 10:36 of kind of where we start out in marriage. 10:40 Go ahead and show that first quick. 10:41 Sales 10:42 involved in pulling off a wedding. 10:43 I mean, a lot of people are just sick to death 10:45 of the whole thing by the time the big day arrives. 10:47 I mean, that's why this next groom is 10:48 so refreshing. 10:49 He's really loving the moment. 10:50 Refreshing is good. Yeah. 10:52 Tentative of Jesus 10:53 Christ before Almighty God. 10:55 And in the name of the Father and of a son 10:56 Jesus 10:58 by the power 10:58 of the Holy Spirit of God. 11:10 Okay, I guess 11:14 that's not working, 11:14 but I think if you've seen the video 11:16 before, 11:17 my brother gets as happy 11:19 at the altar 11:21 as some people get in church, 11:23 and we start out 11:25 with such promise, such excitement 11:30 and enthusiasm 11:31 about this pact of permanence. 11:34 But over the time, 11:35 there is some resentment 11:37 that builds, 11:38 there are some challenges that build. 11:41 There is a disconnect 11:42 that gets builds. 11:44 And then we get to the place where we're literally beginning 11:46 to wonder, why did we even get married? 11:50 And I want to spend 11:52 some time talking about this, and I'm going to look at it 11:54 more specifically in the context 11:55 of husbands today. 11:57 And let me just say this. 11:58 One of the first reasons 12:00 things begin to go 12:01 sour is stay with me, brothers, is because 12:04 somewhere along the line, 12:05 men stop trying like they used to. 12:11 Now, brothers are not telling the truth, 12:13 that there is a level of zeal we 12:15 have in the pursuit 12:19 that we don't keep 12:20 in the retention process. 12:23 All right. 12:23 There's an effort that we put in 12:25 when we're trying to get her, 12:28 but sometimes that effort suffers 12:30 once we feel like we have 12:32 her are we've won her heart. 12:34 And the truth is, 12:35 you don't have to look at me crazy. 12:36 All of us are guilty from the pulpit to the back door. 12:39 Come on and say amen. 12:40 Today we all kind of put it in 12:42 a little bit thicker on the front end. 12:45 But I need us to understand 12:47 there are some things 12:48 that if we were simply 12:49 to increase our effort, 12:51 things would show up in a strong way, 12:53 because too often 12:54 we hear situations where husbands 12:57 are literally walking around 12:58 as if, man, once we got married, 13:01 the wife just changed in a vacuum, 13:05 as if age made her bitter, 13:07 as if time just made her 13:09 a different person than the one 13:11 that we actually married. 13:12 But see, this is what I need 13:13 you to understand the burden 13:15 about leadership, 13:16 because many times in 13:17 relationships, men are projectors, 13:21 women are reflectors. 13:24 In other words, if you don't 13:25 like what's being reflected, 13:27 oh, help me 13:29 then you've got to change 13:30 what you're projecting. 13:32 Many times 13:33 men are soldiers, but a woman is. 13:36 Soil are the best way I can say it. 13:38 Men are thermostats. 13:41 Women are thermometers. 13:44 In other words, 13:45 all she's doing 13:46 is sharing with you. 13:48 The temperature are 13:49 the climate that you are setting in the home. 13:52 Are you all with me today? 13:53 Friends. 13:54 And see, one of the things I want to debunk is a 13:56 myth is I want to debunk 13:57 the myth of the ride or die chick. 14:01 In other words, I'm not saying 14:02 it's not a real thing, 14:04 but I need you to know in hip hop culture, 14:06 is this weird thing that we expect 14:08 to have this ride or die? 14:09 Woman man, that shows 14:11 up, never gets tired, 14:12 never gets complains, 14:13 never kind of gets weary. 14:15 And she does that 14:16 without any reciprocation. 14:19 I need you to know that 14:20 if you ain't showing her no love, 14:21 no attention, no intentionality, 14:23 she's not go ride or die. 14:24 So you don't ride till she finds something better. 14:26 Y'all mighty quiet women today. 14:28 In other words, that is a myth 14:30 that there is just going to be 14:31 this absolute loyalty without there 14:34 being any consistent 14:36 reciprocation. 14:38 Y'all hearing the pastor today 14:40 and see, there is one principle I want to share with you, 14:43 because there are sometimes, man, 14:43 we just kind of feel like men. 14:44 Our wives may enjoy being unhappy, 14:47 that they like being bitter, that there is just something 14:49 wrong with their spirit or their disposition. 14:52 There is one basic principle 14:53 I want to share with the husband today, 14:54 and if you don't get anything else, get this. 14:56 I need you to realize 14:58 that your wife was created 15:00 by God to make you happy. 15:06 No, I just gave 15:06 you a stunning revelation. 15:08 You ought to put a big offering 15:09 in the offering tray for what I just told you. 15:11 No, no. 15:12 Your wife was actually created 15:14 by God to make you happy. 15:17 All right, so y'all don't believe this. 15:19 Go with me in your Bibles, Genesis two and verse 18. 15:21 I want you to see this in the Scriptures 15:22 quickly today, Genesis 15:24 two and verse 18, first 15:26 book of the Bible, Genesis two, 15:28 and verse number 18. 15:29 When you get there, let me hear you say 15:31 Amen. 15:32 Genesis chapter two and verse 18. 15:36 Let's look at the Word of God together. 15:38 Genesis two and verse 18. 15:40 Look at what the word says. 15:41 The Bible says, 15:42 after God had noted 15:43 that it was not good for man to be alone, 15:45 look what the instruction he gave. 15:47 He says that the Lord 15:48 God says it is not good 15:50 for a man to be alone. 15:51 I will make a helper. 15:54 Suitable for what? 15:57 Suitable for him? 15:58 I don't know if you call that brothers. 16:00 I need you to know that 16:01 God created Adam. 16:02 He realized it 16:03 as Adam looked at the comparison in nature 16:06 that each and everybody 16:07 had a partner with him. 16:08 Adam began to make 16:09 the intellectual recognition that it is not 16:11 good for me to be alone. 16:13 Now, I need you to know that even though 16:15 Eve was not an afterthought, 16:18 he was literally created with Adam. 16:21 Happiness in mind. 16:23 In other words, she was different from him. 16:25 See what compliment him. 16:27 There was literally 16:28 something in Eve's 16:30 operating system 16:33 designed to make Adam happy. 16:36 In other words, I need us to understand 16:38 this basic principle, friends, 16:40 that Eve literally 16:41 has a code in her wiring 16:44 to make that man happy. 16:46 And it's crazy because I see this 16:48 even in my own home, 16:49 I have two sons and a daughter and it's crazy. 16:52 My little girl. 16:52 One of the things, as a young Eve, 16:54 she's literally always 16:55 looking for a way 16:57 to look out for me 16:58 and her brothers. 16:59 She's always trying to cook something, trying to make 17:02 something, trying to bring something to her brothers. 17:04 And it's crazy because our brothers 17:05 are sitting there playing their games, 17:07 not paying no attention, 17:08 scratching themselves upstairs. 17:10 And it's crazy. 17:11 She's always looking for something. 17:12 And guess what? 17:13 They don't even say thank you, 17:16 but she's always trying to make them happy. 17:19 And it's crazy because I get mad at their indifference. 17:21 I'm like, Baby, don't give nothing to them. 17:22 Bring it to Daddy. 17:25 In other words, I don't want 17:26 you to get in the habit of wasting your goodness on 17:28 somebody who won't appreciate it. 17:30 I hear what I'm saying. 17:32 But in other words, there 17:33 is something about these ladies 17:35 that has something in their DNA 17:39 that is literally designed to make 17:41 a husband happy. 17:42 And it's crazy because one of the things I need you to get 17:45 is that because Eve was created 17:48 with Adam's happiness 17:50 in mind, Eve can never be 17:52 completely fulfilled 17:53 if Adam is unhappy. 17:57 In other words, 17:58 if her man is not happy, she's not going to be 18:00 totally satisfied 18:02 or happy with 18:03 the way things are going. 18:04 Ladies, if I'm telling the truth, 18:05 let me say, man, 18:07 I not the reason I need to get this, 18:09 because remember, men and women 18:10 kind of define themselves differently because many times 18:13 men see their reflection 18:14 in their work. 18:16 Women see their reflection in their relationships 18:19 in other 18:20 words, that's why even when you look 18:21 at some of the causes that for for for depression 18:23 among men and women, men are more likely 18:25 to get depressed because of a work situation. 18:29 Ladies, in some instances 18:30 are more likely to get depressed 18:31 because of what is happening 18:33 in the home. 18:34 All right. 18:35 And it's funny because 18:36 Shanti Feldman, she makes a statement. 18:37 She literally says that when we are at odds, 18:41 nothing is right with the world 18:43 until the issue gets resolved. 18:46 And so that's why Ephesians chapter 18:47 five says husbands 18:49 ought to love their own wives, 18:50 even as Christ loved the word 18:53 love the church. 18:54 In other words, I need to understand 18:55 that the Bible says he 18:56 that loves his wife, 19:00 loves himself. 19:03 So I don't know if you ever heard 19:04 the statement, happy wife, 19:07 happy life. 19:09 Now, it's crazy because sometimes 19:10 we hear that and husbands get mad 19:11 as if there is an imbalance in the home. 19:14 No, it's actually going 19:15 back to the way God created us 19:18 because essentially God 19:19 set it up in such a way 19:20 that man, when a husband 19:21 is loving the wife, 19:22 investing in the white, 19:23 prioritizing the wife, 19:25 he is literally creating and managing 19:28 the operating system 19:29 of that woman in such a way 19:31 that she will bend over 19:32 backwards to make sure his life 19:35 operates at peak capacity, 19:38 so that when you see a woman 19:40 stepping hard with confidence, building up her man 19:43 with her words going out of her 19:44 way to make sure he's taking care of 19:46 is not just because 19:47 she is a great woman. 19:49 And a fact, you see, is 19:51 simply rejecting, 19:52 reflecting outwardly what he is 19:55 projecting behind closed doors. 19:58 Now, this is the critical thing 20:00 because as happy 20:02 as she can make 20:04 him, if she's done right 20:08 out, not year to today, 20:11 she can make him equally unhappy 20:13 if that machine is operated incorrectly. 20:16 I hear me today, friends. 20:18 And so you got to make sure 20:20 that we prioritize 20:21 the love that the scriptures 20:23 have called us to, if that makes sense to me. 20:25 You say, man, all right. 20:27 So really quickly, 20:28 I want to talk through some principles 20:29 and then I'm hoping that we were able to do it 20:31 today. 20:32 There are some things 20:33 that each and every husband 20:34 needs to know about his wife. 20:36 First thing number one is that 20:38 she needs your reassurance. 20:43 She needs your reassurance. 20:44 All right. 20:45 In other words, how many of us 20:46 have literally been rushing 20:47 out of the house, getting ready to go? 20:49 You forget to say I love you. 20:51 And even though, man, your wife knows she, you got to go. 20:54 She's going to make sure that you remember 20:56 to say what I love you. 20:58 I in other words, 20:59 like your married husband, you're like, man, man, 21:02 she's so fine that I put a ring on that. 21:03 I settled here, but 21:04 she still needs to hear 21:06 you say you look beautiful. 21:09 In other words, 21:09 I need somebody to get this principle. 21:11 This doesn't mean that she is needy, 21:13 that there is something broken. 21:14 But I need you to understand 21:16 that when the neediness 21:18 feels too great, 21:19 it's usually evidence 21:21 of a deficit of assurance. 21:24 In other words, 21:25 if assurance is given 21:26 with regularity, 21:28 it will not be demanded 21:30 in an unhealthy fashion. 21:31 If that makes sense. 21:32 I hear you say that. 21:33 In fact, one of the things that the book states 21:36 is that one of the things that wives 21:37 oftentimes wonder 21:38 is, would he choose me 21:41 if he had it to do all over again? 21:45 All right. 21:46 And so one of the things that you've got to do 21:47 is you got to get on the front end of that 21:49 question that lives inside 21:51 of Eve's mind. 21:52 And you've got to answer that 21:53 question before it's ever 21:54 even posed. 21:56 It's funny. 21:57 There's a statistics I'm going to share with you 21:58 where it asks the question to ladies Under 22:01 what circumstances do you think about your relationship? 22:03 Whether it's going well 22:05 or how your husband 22:06 feels about you? 22:08 She literally say 22:08 it's 30% of women say 22:10 it is something I'm conscious of. 22:13 Most of the time 22:15 that 30% of the women 22:16 are literally thinking about the well-being 22:19 or the wholeness of the relationship. 22:20 Most of the time, 22:21 there are 38% of the women say that it is 22:24 in the back of their mind. 22:25 And then only 20% of ladies say 22:28 they think about their relationship status 22:30 when they're in a difficult season and only 12% of women 22:35 say that they never, ever are worried about 22:37 the status of the relationship. 22:40 All right. 22:40 And so one of the things that we got to 22:41 do, friends of mine, is that 22:42 we've got to be attentive. 22:44 And there are some specific 22:45 things that create triggers 22:47 that make that need for reassurance even greater. 22:49 So sometimes when there is 22:51 are intense 22:52 or prolonged conflict, 22:54 that can be a trigger. 22:55 Sometimes when you get mad 22:57 and you withdraw yourself, 22:59 it can be a trigger. 23:01 Sometimes your silence can be a trigger. 23:04 Sometimes when you just don't notice her 23:07 and I need us to be clear, 23:08 it is always a formula for disaster. 23:11 When everybody in her world 23:12 notices her but her husband. 23:16 All right. 23:16 You don't want a situation where 23:17 a male coworker notices 23:19 that she got her hair done. 23:20 But you didn't. 23:22 You don't want a situation 23:23 where the girlfriend notices 23:25 that she's got a new dress. 23:26 But you didn't. 23:27 There's got to be an attention to detail 23:30 that is going to build and bless our relationships. 23:32 I hate what I'm saying today. 23:34 All right. 23:34 In other words, 23:35 one of the things that's going to trigger is 23:36 when the emotional bank account 23:38 is actually depleted. 23:39 In other words, there are times where we literally feel like, 23:41 man, she's a ticking time bomb. 23:43 Things are always on edge. 23:44 See, I need you to understand that your marriage 23:47 has an immune system. 23:50 You know how physically 23:51 you have an immune system 23:53 so that when you eat well 23:54 and you have plenty of vitamin C 23:55 and you get plenty of sleep, guess what? 23:57 Your immune system is built up 23:58 strong and it's vital and vibrant. 24:00 So that guess what? 24:01 When disease or bacteria threatens, guess what? 24:04 Because your immune system is strong, guess what? 24:06 Those white blood cells automatically go to the point 24:08 of attack and it overwhelms 24:10 any outside attack. 24:11 But guess what? 24:12 When you get sick is simply most of the time 24:14 because your immune system is already low. 24:18 And I need you 24:18 to know that your marriage immune 24:20 system operates the same way. 24:21 So that guess what, man, 24:22 when you are well fed, 24:24 when she is nervous, when she is loved, 24:26 when she is cared for, guess what? 24:28 Your marriage immune 24:29 system is built up high 24:30 and is built up strong. 24:32 And guess what? 24:33 Little irritations 24:34 don't overwhelm you. 24:36 But when the marriage 24:37 immune system is low, 24:39 every little objection 24:41 or every little interruption 24:43 throws the whole thing into a tizzy, 24:46 if that makes sense to me. 24:46 You say, man. 24:48 Second thing 24:49 she needs from her husband. 24:50 Stay with me, brothers. 24:51 She needs you to respect 24:54 boundaries. 24:56 Are you all with me 24:57 today, brothers? 24:59 Matthew 26 and verse 41 25:00 Look at me in the word 25:01 Matthew 26 and verse number 41. 25:03 One of the things your lady needs from you is 25:05 she needs you to respect boundaries. 25:07 Matthew 26 And verse 41, 25:10 when you get there, let me hear you say, man 25:13 there in the New Testament, 25:14 Matthew 26 25:15 and verse 41, Jesus 25:16 speaking says this. 25:18 He says, watch and pray 25:20 that you enter 25:20 not into temptation. 25:23 And he says, the spirit is indeed willing, 25:26 but the flesh is what? 25:28 The flesh is weak. 25:30 Now I need you to catch something. 25:31 What Jesus said his prayer is 25:33 not that you withstand temptation. 25:37 Oh, you. 25:38 And catch 25:39 the prayer 25:40 is that you don't even find 25:41 yourself on temptations territory. 25:45 It is why the Bible in first 25:46 Thessalonians 522 25:48 says that we should avoid even 25:50 the very appearance of evil. 25:53 All right, 25:54 so I need you to understand that, man. 25:56 Sometimes we lose the battle. 25:58 Not because we weren't strong enough 26:00 to handle temptation. 26:01 Jesus literally say 26:02 it doesn't matter what your intentions are. 26:05 Your spirit may be willing, but come on, brothers 26:07 and say, man, the flesh, 26:11 the Bible says, is weak. 26:13 And so I need you 26:13 to understand the reason 26:15 you can't even put yourself 26:17 in certain circumstances 26:19 is not because you can't 26:21 trust the other woman. 26:23 The reason you can't be 26:25 in a certain circumstances 26:26 because you can't trust yourself. 26:29 And I need you to know 26:31 the man that gets entangled is going to be the man 26:33 that essentially trust himself 26:35 beyond what he should are. 26:37 You hear what I'm saying today? 26:38 And see the thing about 26:39 boundaries, friends of mine 26:40 is that boundaries 26:42 are not for your restriction. 26:43 They're actually for your protection. 26:46 In other words, boundaries 26:47 are literally the guardrails 26:49 when you're driving along 26:50 a dangerous path of the road where there's a cliff 26:53 and there is destruction on the other side, 26:55 that boundary keeps you 26:57 from getting too close 26:58 where if the wrong circumstance 27:00 emerges, you plummet 27:02 into a place of destruction. 27:04 Thank you so much 27:05 for joining us for 27:06 the Breath of Life Television 27:08 Ministries broadcast 27:09 with Pastor Devlin Snell. 27:12 We hope and pray 27:13 that you have been blessed 27:14 by this first message in the sermon series 27:17 titled Family Ish Volume two. 27:20 Join us next week for part 27:22 two of the message 27:23 titled What Every Man 27:25 Needs to Know About His Woman. 27:28 You don't want to miss it. 28:05 (Breath Of Life Music) |
Revised 2024-02-06