Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Brackin, Brown, Elledge, Hanna, Porter, Williams
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR000015
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00:12 Welcome To Celebrating Life in Recovery, I'm Cheri
00:14 your host. Today is going to be an all girl show. 00:17 It's fun. This is the first part of the new season so 00:21 we are going to cover as much as we possible can. Come join us. 00:50 We're going to do to show a little bit different today. 00:52 We are going to have the guests on first, and interview 00:56 her first, but before we go there this is the first show 00:59 of the second season and we're going to talk about. 01:02 Well let me tell you about last season in case 01:04 you hadn't seen the show I'm going to kind of recap. 01:07 As we went through Steps To Christ we talked about the 01:09 basics of recovery, and when I say basics I don't mean 01:13 basics as far as not important or lightweight I'm talking 01:16 about the foundation of recovery. 01:18 We talked about when I first heard there was a God that 01:22 created the entire universe, everything and that God is 01:26 crazy about me, it changed me. 01:28 That God spoke the world into existence and said something 01:31 and everything that existed, I thought He could speak life 01:35 into me, He can re-create in me all the damage that has been 01:38 done and I was just thrilled. 01:40 I wish I could tell you exactly how thrilled I was, 01:43 but it was unbelievable to know that. 01:45 Then I realized that Christ is my Savior, 01:48 and I definitely need a Savior I'm so twisted. 01:50 I wish I could say that in a different way but everything 01:54 about me was twisted. 01:55 I didn't know how to act, I didn't know how to eat with 01:58 someone, I was socially under- developed, I had insecurities, 02:01 and molest issues, and heroin addiction and homelessness 02:04 and all that stuff. 02:05 So then somebody said that Christ died for you and will 02:10 equip you to get through all of this stuff, you just need 02:13 to accept that. I'm like, I'm there, I accept it. 02:16 Then we talked about prayer and faith and repentance. 02:20 Being sorry enough to walk away from something, and not 02:23 sorry because you got busted, we are sorry about that 02:26 stuff, but not sorry for that reason. 02:28 Not sorry because I am in jail, I'm strung out or 02:30 whatever, but sorry because I understand what my addiction 02:34 and what my behavior has done to the people around me. 02:36 The damage that I am causing not only to myself 02:40 but to other people. 02:41 Being able to look at God and say, I do want to change. 02:44 I want something different, so we talked about all that 02:47 stuff, we talked about growing up in Christ and really 02:51 getting a trust relationship with God so that 02:54 I can surrender these things. 02:55 Because some of the things that I really had in my life, 02:59 some of the things that I dealt with, were so dark and so 03:02 twisted is the only word, so much junk that I was afraid 03:09 to even bring them out. 03:10 So I had to get into a trust relationship with God that 03:13 I could bring these things out. 03:14 So that is the foundation, and now we are going to talk 03:18 about this season, the baptism of the Holy Spirit, 03:20 and being filled with the Holy Spirit, and actually have 03:23 a victory over all this junk. 03:25 All these addictions, and when I say addictions please 03:27 don't misunderstand me, I don't mean drug addictions only. 03:30 I mean to depression, anger, criticism, perfectionism, 03:33 stealing, gambling, sex addictions, and definitely drugs 03:37 alcohol and all that kind of stuff. 03:39 Hidden addictions that we have, religious addictions, 03:40 I'm talking about all of it. 03:42 Because if it is going to trash you, and sometimes just 03:46 being insecure, just not having a good foundation being 03:50 given to you as a child, that causes addictive behaviors, 03:53 or protection, or walls or a defense mechanism to come up 03:57 that interfere with our ability to just enjoy life. 04:01 Just be right with ourselves, with the people around us 04:05 and with God, so we are going to talk about all that. 04:07 It is the best thing because once you get that, 04:10 and I always tell people that if you get this, you will 04:13 have joy. You'll have joy and the ability to live a life 04:18 that most people will say You know what? 04:20 I want what you have. 04:21 I want to introduce you first of all to my friend Misti, 04:23 Misti Brackin. And I want to say thank you so much 04:25 for coming and being on the show Misti. 04:28 - you're welcome. 04:29 We met because of being invited by your husband because of 04:34 his brother, so first of all tell that story. 04:37 That was pretty heavy for me. 04:38 Well first of all I read your book, I don't know if you 04:43 remember but I called you, I was going to order a lot of 04:45 books for the women in my church and you answered. 04:47 I didn't expect you to answer, and you were talking about 04:50 just getting back from a trip and you said that the Lord was 04:53 there and the Holy Spirit was there and it was great to 04:55 see all these things happening. 04:56 I just said what does it take to get you 04:59 to come talk to us? 05:00 And Coles brother had just died, my husband's brother had 05:04 just died - oh but wait a minute because he hadn't died 05:06 yet, - probably not one I talk to you that day. 05:08 By the time you came the first time he did. 05:11 What is really interesting is that when you called me, 05:13 one of the reasons to come to speak in Oklahoma City was 05:16 to talk and hopefully talk with his brother. - yes. 05:19 That is right, that is right and then by the time I think 05:23 that was in February and your scheduled didn't allow you to 05:25 come until November, and it was in the summer time of July 05:29 that his brother passed away from meth addiction. 05:31 Then you came and ministered to Cole over that and it was 05:36 just a blessing, it was God's plan for us to meet you 05:41 and to get to know you. 05:42 Oh it's really interesting to me and sad is that with his 05:46 brother, he was so lost in his meth addiction that 05:50 he literally went out to wash his car, how hot was it? 05:55 It was probably over 100° that day. 05:58 100°, he was high on meth and went out to wash his car 06:01 and literally fried himself. 06:03 In a manic state he always did everything, I mean if 06:07 you gave him a job, he would do in such a way that 06:11 you would want him to come back and do it again because 06:13 it was a manic state, he went out to clean his car and 06:17 cleaning the toolbox because he had a pick up and 06:19 he was cleaning the tools and was out there sweating 06:22 and overheated and really that is what did it. 06:26 He came inside after being in the sun for several hours 06:29 and went into cardiac arrest and that was it. 06:32 He was dead before they got to the hospital. 06:36 When I heard that I thought that was the saddest thing, 06:38 because I know, like I know that Cole's hope was that 06:42 somebody would intervene because he loved his brother. 06:45 And you loved him, so it was like I knew that had we come 06:50 earlier, could something had happened? 06:51 Then I let that go because only God knows that. 06:54 But my heart was like, oh man, but we came anyway. 06:58 We got to hang out with you guys and minister definitely 07:02 to Cole because he just lost his brother. 07:04 An entire community with meth, because I think what 07:09 happened with you guys is that the issue was huge and 07:13 you wanted to actually help somebody else, 07:15 can we help somebody else? 07:16 You know what is really interesting to me is the more 07:21 our relationship grew the more I realized that there 07:26 were some other issues going on. 07:27 You had talked about that one night, so share a little 07:30 bit about your background. 07:32 Well the night you are talking about, I think its was about 07:36 the third time may be that you had come to Oklahoma and 07:38 you stayed at my house always. 07:41 I had been having a lot of issues with family, just a lot 07:46 of hurt feelings and I would come home from being with 07:51 family and I would pray about it and have all these 07:53 bitter feelings because it kept building inside of me. 07:56 I had bitter feelings and I would pray about it and I might 07:58 get relief from it for a short time, but the next time 08:02 I was around the same family members and things would 08:05 happen that would hurt me, it was all still there. 08:07 You know what's interesting to me as you explained it, 08:10 you had all this confidence in who you were and who 08:13 you are as a mother, a wife and a woman of God and then 08:16 you would be around family and it will be gone. 08:18 It would be gone. - I would be going like what happened? 08:21 No-confidence, uncomfortable in my own skin in their 08:25 presence, and this had been going on for 13 years or so. 08:28 A longtime and so I think the night that you were there, 08:33 I know something happened that morning with the family 08:35 phone call, and I don't know if you knew it all day but 08:38 I felt just devastated all day. 08:40 We had actually went to juvenile prison and done some 08:44 cool things, - that was a cool day. - it was, it was. 08:47 Inside I felt devastated and when we got home there were 08:50 several people staying in my home and everybody was 08:53 eating because everybody was hungry and I think I went 08:55 over by myself and I looked up and it was just you and I. 08:59 I know that God arranged that. 09:02 So we started talking and as we got into the conversation, 09:05 I started sharing a little bit about what some of the 09:09 things that hurt me, and I really thought you were going 09:11 to say, I'm so sorry they are really bad people. 09:17 Instead you said, that's you that's your junk. 09:22 And I said, no, no, no. - that's not me did 09:28 you not hear me? - no it's them, it's not me. 09:31 You said no, this is yours and I remember thinking in my 09:35 mind, you know I had a really abusive Father but I've 09:40 forgiven him, and I really felt like I had. 09:42 It had been a period of time that I hated my Father. 09:45 There were times in my childhood I've wanted him to die 09:48 I would even fantasize how I can help that happen. 09:52 Talk about who he is that you would want that. 09:56 What kind of things did he do? 09:57 He was not usually physically abusive, there were times 10:01 when he did get that way, but the emotional, mental, 10:04 and verbal abuse was beyond what, I don't even know 10:07 if I can describe how bad it was. 10:10 - how hateful he was? - umhumm! 10:12 Was he drunk? - no. - did he drink? - no. 10:15 So there was nothing you could say, it was just alcohol. 10:18 No, no. - he was just mean? - he was mean. 10:21 You walked on eggshells around him, I've got where I tried to 10:25 avoid him and when I came home from school and go straight 10:27 to my bedroom and shut the door, which just drove him crazy. 10:29 So dinnertime will come, and every time it was time for 10:34 dinner he would end up in this huge fight and screaming 10:37 match and I didn't even want to come to the table. 10:40 So he would come barging into my room and yanked me out 10:43 of the room, you are going to come to the table when 10:46 I call you. - he loved to embarrass you? - yes, yes. 10:51 Any time I had friends over there would be a huge blow 10:55 up and he would always be the cause of it. 10:57 There was just so many things that he, and I know I had 11:03 to build the wall as a young child so I didn't feel all 11:07 that because it was so much pain. 11:10 You know what's interesting as you were talking to me, 11:13 and as you were sharing all this stuff, the only thing 11:16 I could see is that for your whole life you are trying to 11:21 get people to act right and be right and you be right. 11:24 He was like all left over from your Father. 11:27 Because he would even do, it seems like he just 11:31 constantly was at you to get a reaction. - always. 11:37 There were three of us, my older sister and my younger 11:41 brother and I was in the middle. 11:42 I was the one he could always get a reaction out of. 11:46 I was the one that had, I don't know if you want to 11:48 call it a feistier side or he could get 11:51 a huge reaction out of me. 11:52 My sister learned how to go along with it in his presence 11:55 so that it didn't blow up. - did it not bother her? 11:59 Oh yeah, but she was able to stay quiet so that it didn't 12:03 get as bad as what it would do if she said something back. 12:06 I just couldn't do it, I had so much anger and hatred for 12:10 him inside that I could not do it. 12:13 She would take me into the bedroom and say don't you know 12:15 if you just be quiet it would be over sooner. 12:17 - it's not fair. - I couldn't do it, I couldn't do it 12:19 there was too much inside of me that would allow me 12:23 to not do that. 12:25 This child that was yelling it's not fair, about your 12:27 father, I saw you even with your new family yelling the 12:31 same thing, it's not fair, and being lost there, 12:34 stuck there. - go ahead. 12:37 But with the new family, not my immediate family, not my 12:42 husband and little girls, were talking extended family. 12:45 - how do you say that nice? But everybody knows. 12:51 Ya I didn't even have enough self-esteem to stand up for 12:54 myself. - right. - I felt myself trying harder and harder 12:58 trying to please them more and more and more. 13:01 There was never, I never pleased them. 13:03 The more I tried it seems the less respect I got and the more 13:07 hurt I would get. 13:08 I pray that somebody is listen- ing to me out there because 13:11 I think what is really amazing is that I'm looking at this 13:15 beautiful woman, I'm looking at a woman that is successful 13:17 in every way, and has a family that loves her like crazy, 13:21 that is locked in this junk. 13:22 I'm thinking, man, you just need to heal. 13:26 And I'm thinking I don't have anything to heal from. 13:29 So what is really funny is I thought there is no way 13:33 we are going to break this tonight, so I had a book that 13:35 a friend of mine wrote called the 'Baptism of the Holy Spirit' 13:38 'Holy Spirit In Healing'. It's an amazing book. 13:41 I had just got baptized in the Holy Spirit, I had just 13:45 surrendered all my stuff to God and said, God fill me 13:48 up, I'm done with the struggle, I'm done with fighting 13:51 this and I want to go be free from this that my life will be 13:56 a life of joy, complete victory. 13:58 I was so living in that and I'm looking at 14:00 you thinking, ah you have got to read this. 14:02 You've got to get this, and as I'm saying it, you are 14:05 looking at me like, it is that? 14:07 I was, I think before we talked to till late, like three 14:13 in the morning or so, it was late before we went to bed. 14:16 I think before you went to bed I think you had convinced 14:19 me I needed to look at myself, but I had no idea where to 14:23 look, I was clueless and you left these books with me. 14:25 I didn't even read the books. - I'm calling her on the 14:29 phone, Misti, did you read the books yet? 14:32 I knew she didn't because she be going like well you know. 14:36 I'm like, you have got to read them, you have got to read 14:38 them and she would tell me something else she was doing 14:39 that was fabulous, and I would think read the book. 14:42 Because everything in me knows that when somebody is 14:46 dealing with issues, especially childhood issues, 14:48 dysfunction, addiction or any of that stuff, when you get 14:51 the fact that God does not want you to be lost in that. 14:54 When you get the fact that there is a way out, 14:56 there is a hope that wields up in you and 14:59 and walls start coming down. 15:00 I knew that you would get that, and I'm thinking okay. 15:02 So when did you - well I think you were there in October 15:05 and it wasn't until the following July, I don't remember 15:08 the incident that happened that made me go get those 15:11 books, but something else with the family that hurt my 15:14 feelings really bad. - where is that book? 15:16 I was so tired of this, I'm so tired I can't take it 15:20 anymore, I've tried to please them for so long and I 15:24 can't do it, I can't take this anymore so I went and dug 15:26 the books out, and I think there is five in the series. 15:29 I picked up one of the books and I flipped it open to 15:32 a chapter called Experiencing God's Love, 15:34 and I started reading. 15:35 I don't even know why did start at the beginning, 15:39 I just flipped it open and started reading. 15:40 The Chapter Experiencing God's Love, it talks about 15:43 having these wounds as children and how profoundly 15:47 they affect your life. 15:49 The man that wrote the book he even talks about actually 15:52 giving God the opportunity to show him. 15:54 God I know I have this issue, I don't know where 15:57 they stem from, but he prayed, show me what they are. 16:00 And God did, and in the book it talks about how 16:04 he cried so hard, it was like a cleansing cry and 16:06 it came from his soul, deep soul wound. 16:08 He wasn't even aware it was there until God showed him. 16:13 So I thought I'm going to do it, I don't know what it is 16:17 and I can think of so many things that if I go back into 16:19 the intellectual mind that happened that might be it. 16:22 I could go back and think, and think well yeah hurt but. 16:27 But I wasn't in touch with, it's because it was buried. - so deep 16:32 So deep that it takes a Holy Spirit to bring it out. 16:34 So I began praying - and the better we are, the smarter 16:38 we are, we are so good at burying that stuff, we really 16:43 are good and we don't even know how many walls we have 16:46 put up, how far we have buried it to the extent that I buried 16:49 it, I don't feel it anymore, I don't feel the pain, but 16:51 I also don't feel joy and I'm not connected with life. 16:54 It's like this huge thing that I am separate, and God is 16:57 just, I think God is in heaven just screaming, 17:00 I don't want you to live like that. 17:01 That is not what victory feels like, and most of us can 17:04 live like that and look great. 17:06 Right, right! And that is what I had been doing, but 17:09 inside I had so many things that made me unhappy and made 17:12 me just not the person that God wanted me to be. 17:17 So I began to pray, I think really I was praying, 17:21 I was serious with God now, I'm tired of living this way 17:24 and now I am serious with Him. 17:26 I just began to pray, what ever it is Lord, 17:28 what ever causes me to feel like I need to please them, 17:30 what ever causes me to feel not good enough, 17:32 I want to know what it is. 17:33 So I began praying, it was probably no more than about 17:38 two weeks, and this is funny how God will bring this up. 17:41 Because when you give Him permission, and you give Him 17:43 access to the deep parts of your heart. 17:45 Cole I were eating at a Mexican restaurant and he ordered 17:51 spinach enchiladas and I remembered, I was four years old 17:56 and I remembered a story about my dad trying to force 17:59 me to eat spinach. 18:01 I felt this piercing in my heart, and I thought than 18:05 I wonder if that is what I have been praying for? 18:07 Because that was kind of how he explained in the book 18:09 that it happened to him. 18:10 You literally felt a physical - a physical piercing 18:13 through my heart, it was not just a hurt my feelings, 18:15 it was an ah, take your breath away. 18:17 So I was in a restaurant with my little girls and 18:21 I thought I was going to put that aside and not think 18:23 about this and the next day in my prayer time, 18:26 of course God just brings it flooding back. 18:28 Now this is the interesting part, this is how we are so 18:31 disconnected with what is really going on inside of us. 18:34 If I would have told you the story about my dad trying 18:37 to force me to eat spinach, he was brutal with me. 18:39 I was literally gagging over this spinach and he is 18:42 trying to force me to eat it. 18:44 I remembered this whole story already, and when I told 18:48 you the story I would have said, isn't my dad just a jerk? 18:50 Isn't he just awful? But that day God took me back to 18:55 that spot, I literally was sitting at the kitchen table 18:57 again, remembering as a little girl. 19:00 I am watching my dad be so brutal with me, and I remember 19:04 and this hits my soul every time I tell it. 19:07 And there is more, we usually have more than one really 19:10 deep wound, but I remember him being so brutal, 19:14 I remember tears streaming down my face and I remember 19:16 looking to my mother to help me. 19:18 She was laughing, now I don't know maybe 19:23 she was laughing because he was making such an idiot 19:25 out of himself, I don't know. 19:27 But I perceived that she was laughing at my pain. 19:31 So that day I came to believe, see this is where our 19:36 identity was stolen. God wants us to have that identity 19:39 we are His children, He loves us and He would have died if 19:41 we were the only ones. 19:43 He gives us parents to reinforce that identity and to 19:46 teach us how valuable we are, to love us unconditionally. 19:48 But our parents are human, even if we have wonderful, 19:53 perfect parents in our eyes, they are still humans and 19:56 full of sin. - they've been damaged. 19:59 And they have been damaged, and my mother came from an 20:02 abusive home, and it probably didn't even register to her 20:04 that this was abusive behavior because that was what 20:07 she had been conditioned to, that was where she grew up. 20:10 But at that moment, this child made a decision about 20:14 the world and how she was going to live her life for 20:17 the rest of your life. 20:18 Yes I believed at that moment that I was not even worth, 20:21 I was not worth enough in my mother's eyes to save me 20:24 from that kind of abuse. I must not be worth very much. 20:28 And so I believe that from that day forward I had to work 20:32 extra hard to be liked, I had to work extra hard to be 20:36 loved, that I could never, I was a people pleaser because 20:40 if I would ever say no, then someone might not think 20:45 I was good, someone would think I was nice 20:46 but not think I was good. 20:48 If I could get everyone around me to think I was okay, 20:50 then I could glean some sort of self worth out of that. 20:52 Does that make sense? - yes, but you know what makes 20:55 sense about that is when you started sharing some of 20:57 that with me is that I thought, you know what? 20:59 The devil has so convinced you of that, and you are 21:03 working so hard at that, that no one gets to enjoy who 21:06 Misti is, and I knew that you were fabulous. 21:09 Do you know what I mean? I'm not saying that in a vanity 21:12 way, I just knew you were fabulous, and fun, 21:14 and I loved hanging out with you. 21:16 I looked at you and new that you didn't get to 21:19 experience any of that. 21:20 It is so painful to have our identity stolen, and that is 21:23 the devil's plan to do this, and he can do it so well. 21:26 Usually I think it is through parents, but it can be 21:28 through any authority figure in your life. - right. 21:30 At any time in your life. - At any time in your life. 21:32 You can do more damage at a younger age, but at any time we 21:36 can receive this, and I was four years old when this happened. 21:40 I would have told you, I would have thought in my 21:43 intellectual mind my dad, it had to be my dad, but 21:45 it was my mother. This is nothing about my mother, 21:48 my mother was wonderful and I am so thankful 21:50 I had my mother and when I saw how much 21:53 this damage had done to me, this wound had done to 21:56 me, I totally understood how her wounds hurt her. 21:59 It wasn't about bitterness, or being angry at her, 22:02 or anything like that, love finds a way. 22:04 I like when you say that because, when God heals us it is 22:07 not about being angry or putting the blame on someone. 22:10 It is just about seeing it so that I can say to God, 22:13 you know what? Help me! 22:15 Because now I am sitting at the table, I know the damage, 22:18 I know how deep it was, but I don't know what to do next. 22:21 Holy Spirit - yeah and in the memory when I go back to 22:25 that day, when He took me back there, I cried harder 22:29 then I have ever cried because it is the hurt and the 22:32 wounds and I heard someone else describe it as a wound that 22:36 you have that has healed a little bit, but it is still 22:39 infected, and you give God permission to cut it open and 22:42 lance it, clean it out and then it can heal. 22:45 That is what I feel is happening this pain was coming out 22:49 of me and for the first part, for the first 30 minutes 22:52 of crying this hard, it was probably more why would 22:55 she do that to me? Why was she not protecting me? 22:58 It was grieving over that, then I started to see, 23:00 and this is the Holy Spirit that did it, I started to see 23:02 how that had affected everything in my life. 23:06 It left me believing I was not worth anything because my 23:09 own mother, and I know she loves me, but I came to believe 23:12 that I wasn't worth her protecting and that is how 23:16 I became this people pleaser. 23:18 I couldn't even be myself because I was so busy trying 23:21 to feel like I was worth something, I couldn't be who 23:23 God made me to be. 23:25 For a lot of people that understand what you are saying 23:27 right now, they don't even know who themselves is, 23:30 who am I? - right. 23:31 Because you started that at such an early age, 23:33 you said who am I? What does this mean? 23:36 So to me that was such a huge thing. 23:38 When you started healing, I could hear it in your voice. 23:41 I could hear your understanding that the God of the 23:44 universe stepped into your life and is guiding you in 23:48 your recovery, and I went on the phone like Yahoo. 23:51 You know because that is like a point in all of our 23:54 lives where we just have to say, God I love you. 23:56 We are so damaged, we are so damaged from the very wound 24:01 a lot of times and God says you know what? 24:02 That doesn't even scare Me, just trust Me. 24:04 Trust Me enough to let Me close to that wound and I promise 24:07 you that you will have a life. 24:08 Letting Him do that, coming out of that room that day, 24:11 I was a different person, I felt like a weight had been 24:14 lifted off of my shoulders, it's your baggage that I have 24:17 carried around, we are so used to carrying it around that 24:19 we don't even know it is there. 24:20 I met this woman who said she doesn't have baggage, 24:24 she has cargo? - ha, ha, Ha,, - I'm thinking man. 24:27 You know what I mean? Is that we carry so much we have 24:31 trainloads behind us, and we don't even know what, I just 24:34 know that I'm tired. - yes, exactly and life isn't 24:38 working smooth for us, things don't go well, 24:41 relationships don't go well and we don't know why. 24:44 We don't know why, it's because they're so much pain 24:46 buried in all of us and you have to give the Holy Spirit 24:49 that access to that. 24:50 So tell us, because you started to pray about this and 24:54 allow the Holy Spirit to come in, what kind of changes 24:57 and when did you finally get it, I get it? 25:00 Well I really think coming out of that room that day, 25:02 I was a different person completely. 25:04 And I think for other people, people now that I have 25:07 been doing this for a while, I think sometimes it can be 25:10 gradual but for me that day I was a different person. 25:12 I wanted everybody to get it, and you can ask the ladies 25:15 sitting here. - and we are going to, we are going to 25:17 take a break and ask everyone sitting here, because 25:20 everyone sitting here was affected, you were affected 25:23 because I got it and said Misti you have to get it. 25:26 You have to pray to God to let Him send the Holy Spirit. 25:29 Even if you don't know what that means, even if you don't 25:32 understand the significance of that, ask Him to give you 25:35 insight, to show you something to come into your life 25:38 that I'm done, I'm tired and I need You to help me. 25:41 And God starts changing everything, and sometimes it may 25:45 feel painful and you may cry, but God is just opening up 25:47 the wound and He is cleaning it out and your life will 25:50 be changed and you will feel joy and for the first time 25:54 understand who God created you to be, and live in that. 25:57 It is amazing, so we are going to take a break and when 25:59 we come back I'm going to introduce you to some friends 26:01 of Misti's that are here and we will hear what the 26:04 Holy Spirit has done in their life. 26:06 And some of the testimonies I'm telling you are so heavy, 26:09 we are going to have the full testimony on another show 26:13 but I want you to hear briefly how God steps in and gives 26:16 somebody hope, it is amazing you have got to stay with us. 26:19 We will be right back! 26:26 Think you've seen it all? Think again. 26:29 Cheri Peters is back for a second season of 26:32 Celebrating Life In Recovery with more lives 26:36 more stories and more miracles. 26:39 Watch the shocking, inspiring, and the incredible. 26:43 Check your local listings to find out when 26:46 Celebrating Life In Recovery comes to you and get 26:49 ready for another dose of reality, Cheri style. 27:07 I am so amazed at how God is. 27:11 About the Holy Spirit, about when we finally get to a 27:13 point in recovery like Misti was saying where I am 27:16 saying God I can't even do this, You have got to give me 27:19 some insight, You have got to show me where the problems 27:21 are, and when I finally start seeking after that. 27:25 In Misti's life she said she started seeking after that. 27:29 What ever happened I grab the book and I started to get 27:33 on my knees and I started praying and God started 27:35 to unfold things for her. 27:36 And when that happened to me it was my husband had said 27:39 something and it was just, we were doing something and 27:42 he said one of these days Cheri you're going to let me 27:45 love you, and I'm thinking what is he talking about? 27:48 You're still here and we have been married 10 years. 27:51 I'm thinking that was the craziest thing you ever said. 27:54 I have attachment disorders, bonding disorders, and my 27:57 mom tried to self do an abortion six different times 28:00 while she was carrying me, never loved me, and my dad is 28:03 a druggie and just died seven months ago in a drug house. 28:05 Crack addiction, so I didn't have a lot of love. 28:09 But I love Brad as much as I am able to, and I received 28:13 love from him as much as I was able to. Right? 28:15 So I'm praying and saying God what's he talking about? 28:20 Someday that I'm going to let him love me? 28:23 And God said through the Holy Spirit, Cheri someday 28:26 you're going to let Me love you. 28:28 I'm like, oh come on, come on. 28:31 If the whole world is crazy, the whole world is not able 28:35 to love me, or I am not able to love, that is one thing, 28:38 but God You know I love You and You know that I let You 28:41 love me. And he said, Cheri even when you are on your knees 28:45 praying with Me, I can't get through those walls. 28:48 I can't get close to you. 28:49 And I was just thinking that is so not true. 28:51 It is really hard to tell God that, that is not true! 28:55 I'm just going to call You on that, you are God and You 28:58 know a lot of things, but that's a hard denial, 29:02 You don't know me, I'm okay as Misti was saying, 29:05 it's about my in-laws it's not me. 29:08 So God slowly through the Holy Spirit, as I started to 29:11 seek Him, seeking the Holy Spirit is that He started 29:15 showing me that I never learned to trust. 29:17 As He showed me that, I remember crying like crazy because 29:21 I thought I don't know what to do next. 29:23 I don't know what the next step is, and He said, good. 29:26 Because I do, I know what the next step is and 29:30 I know how to lead you. 29:31 As I started to rely more on the Holy Spirit, as I started 29:34 to surrender things to God, I started to feel such 29:37 a strength and my recovery was unbelievable. 29:40 I feel like I can go anywhere on the planet, anywhere on 29:43 the planet and be able to say to someone, you know I am 29:46 a woman of God standing, enjoying, in the Holy of Holies 29:49 in the presence of my Father, isn't life awesome? 29:52 Before I was fighting for my recovery. 29:55 So I'm going to introduce you to the people here, 29:58 everybody here has a story, everybody here has an 30:00 experience at some level with God, some are at the very 30:03 beginning, some at the, well we are not at the end 30:06 we are all breathing but everyone has an experience at 30:09 some level so I want to introduce you to some. 30:12 First of all Sherry can you come up, you have an 30:14 incredible testimony, so I want everyone to hear that. 30:17 But first of all, most people are not going to know that 30:20 you are Misti's sister-in-law. 30:22 So we met through Misti and Cole, so talk a little bit 30:25 about who you are, where you are from, and when did you 30:28 get it as far as the Holy Spirit? 30:30 Well I got it because Misti talked to you and she called 30:34 me and she knew I was very damaged and she said, Sherry 30:37 you have got to do this, you have got to pray and ask God 30:40 to show you where your damage is. 30:42 She said Cheri Peters has been here and she showed me 30:44 these books and I have been reading them and I'm telling 30:46 you this is big stuff, you got to read it. 30:48 I was like, okay whatever. - did you do it right away? 30:52 Or did she wait like Misti? - oh no, On no. 30:54 She calls me every day for probably two weeks and was 30:58 like I'm telling you this is big, this is big. 30:59 And I'm like okay, because she gets passionate about 31:02 everything like that, I was like okay, okay I will. 31:04 Because I thought I knew where my damage is. 31:08 I don't have to pray, I thought my dad left when 31:11 I was six, he left before my little sister was even born 31:14 and I know where my damage is. 31:17 I was abandoned and then it made my mother feel like 31:21 she had to go out and find a man to rescue us, so I felt 31:24 abandoned and I knew were my damage was. 31:26 You had kids that were acting out at the time, I had kids 31:31 they were using drugs and my life was in chaos and 31:35 I could not, I was not functioning very well I was just 31:38 getting by, but I thought I knew were all my problems 31:41 were and what stemmed from them. 31:43 I told her, because I love her to pieces, and I just said 31:46 okay I'll do this, I will because she loved me so much 31:49 she wanted me to get this, really get it. 31:51 She wanted you to have a freedom that she had found. 31:54 Yes, so I finally started saying I'm going to pray 31:58 about it, and I really did. 31:59 I really started praying about it. 32:01 I guess it was about two weeks later that her sister 32:04 Nicky, my other sister-in-law called and was telling me 32:07 that her little girls had not seen their dad and I think 32:10 a month is what they said. 32:11 Because the schedules, Nicky travels a lot and Mori 32:17 travels a lot and so ago when she got that memory back 32:21 it was like that in my heart pierced, that pierced. 32:25 I was like oh my, because I knew that I was that little 32:29 girl that hadn't seen my dad in a long time. 32:32 The Nicky said, now they are emotional, they cry for 32:36 no reason and I don't know why. 32:37 I said that is okay honey because I know you miss your 32:39 daddy, but nobody was telling me that. 32:41 They were saying just deal with it, this is the way 32:45 life is, they weren't saying this but this is what I. 32:48 - that's right, stop crying. 32:50 But for me I did not cry because it would make my mother 32:53 more upset, and I was the one who protected everybody in 32:57 the family, I made sure everybody 32:58 was happy and everything. 33:00 When she said that I thought all my, I hadn't seen my 33:05 dad for month after month after year, but my daddy wasn't 33:09 calling me saying, I miss you, I can't wait to see you, 33:13 and it was nothing like that. I just thought oh my! 33:17 So when I heard that, and the way I feel about their girls 33:21 and you know them as well as I do, they are precious. 33:24 - amazing kids. - I saw myself as that sweet little 33:27 precious little girl, like her girls are, like I think 33:29 her girls are and that is how God sees me. 33:33 All of a sudden I was like, oh my, I didn't deserve what 33:37 happened to me. I didn't deserve that, I deserved better. 33:41 I deserved parents that loved me and would nurture me. 33:45 My mother did the best job she could and 33:48 I'm not knocking her. - under the circumstances and 33:50 you know what I hear that when somebody starts to heal 33:52 is that they feel like they want to protect everybody 33:55 around them, but it is not about knocking someone is 33:58 about just saying this is where my damage started and 34:00 everything else piled on top of that. 34:04 Well I call Misti the after I got the phone call from Nicky, 34:06 I think I got it, I think I got it. 34:08 She was like, what is it? I began to tell her and just 34:11 the emotions flowed out of me, and the first second 34:15 I thought how could my dad do that to me? 34:17 Then the second right after that it was gone, and I said, 34:21 you know what? He was just as damaged as I was. 34:24 You know he went from women to women trying to find 34:28 somebody else to make him feel better and that was the 34:31 first time I could honestly say I truly forgave my dad. 34:35 I just started seeing everybody as hurting people, 34:40 hurting people as much as I am and that is the reason why 34:43 I tried to mask all that hurt with drugs and alcohol and sex, 34:47 just all the things that come along with that. 34:50 I finally was able to forgive myself. 34:53 And one I was talking to Misti on the phone, I mean 34:57 emotions were, I can't even explain what was going on. 35:01 All of a sudden I had this vision of me just covered in 35:05 white, and I was covered in the righteousness of Jesus 35:10 righteousness, it was nothing I did. 35:12 He just said you know what? I'm not holding you 35:15 accountable for what you did. - I took that on Myself. 35:18 You are forgiven. - I was forgiven, and I'll be honest 35:21 with you, before that day I had many flashbacks. 35:24 You know how you have those memories when they come back 35:26 and you feel like you are right there in that situation 35:29 again, your heart is pounding and you are embarrassed 35:31 and humiliated and all this stuff and after that day 35:35 I have a really hard time remembering those things that 35:38 I wanted to so badly and so desperately forget before. 35:41 I want your sister to come up, so Kim your going to 35:44 come up and as she is coming up I want to say one thing 35:47 about when you understand God's love for us and the 35:49 baptism of the Holy Spirit, and the healing of the 35:52 Holy Spirit, one person gives it to another person, 35:55 gives it to another person and it's the way God intended. 35:58 He said comfort those with that comfort that you have 36:00 received, and in this show I want you to hear this 36:02 clearly but I also want you to hear that every single 36:05 person that has asked God to open up and show them, and bring 36:10 healing into their life, God says I would love to. 36:13 Absolutely would love to because I am your Father and 36:16 I want you to live a life of joy. 36:18 It is different than just living the Christian life 36:21 isn't it? - yeah - yes. 36:23 So Kim you come up here. When we met, Sherry asked me 36:26 to come up and you were struggling with an addiction and 36:30 they asked me to do a one to one intervention with you 36:33 and meth. You know what it is all right, it's all right. 36:37 I want you to talk a little bit about your past. 36:42 - it's tough isn't it? - yeah. 36:49 - right now what I want to say is for a lot of people 36:53 watching it's tough, you are new in recovery - yeah. 36:57 You are not even sure who God is or anything about this 37:02 whole spiritual thing, am I right about that? 37:04 - I know who He is, I mean I was baptized after my dad 37:07 died and everything and went that way and kind of went 37:10 backwards again, but like my sister said, my dad left 37:14 before it was even born so the abandonment issues came 37:18 and I too turn to drugs, alcohol, sex anything to make 37:22 a man love me. - right, because why did your dad leave? 37:26 He was cheating on my mom, - I mean as a little girl 37:29 that part of you - oh yeah, I always thought it was 37:32 my fault because he left before I was born so I thought 37:36 it was my fault because he wanted a boy, because we are 37:39 all girls and I just had a numerous amount of reasons 37:43 why I thought he left. 37:44 None of them were, it wasn't until I divorced my first 37:47 husband that my mom told me that my dad had been 37:50 cheating on her for years and she finally said, 37:53 do not come home tonight. 37:56 I know that you have struggled off and on and a very functional 38:01 addict for most of that time. - yeah, holding a job down. 38:04 73% of all addictions or all drug trafficking in the 38:11 United States is people that are still going to work, 38:12 still look great and all those things, so you are talking 38:15 to a lot of people when you say that, I went to work and 38:19 I functioned. - I was the only one in my surrounding 38:22 group of friends, well one other girl, but for the most part I 38:25 was only one that held down a job consistently for the entire 38:29 time. - why are you clean now? Why do you want to be 38:31 clean? Well I want to be clean for a lot of reasons, for my 38:37 children, when my sister intervene they sleep between my 38:42 son and at that moment I thought I had so much to lose 38:47 and nothing to gain by continuing to this. - right. 38:51 With anybody watching I want to beg them, pray for Kim 38:56 and her recovery, for the reconciliation of family members 39:00 and all that stuff. And I want you to know, that you know 39:04 we have been praying for you since we met. 39:06 We came to your state and sat down with you and worked 39:09 with you and your husband, and Amanda, another meth addict 39:13 that bonded with you, prays for you all the time. 39:16 She called me and say I don't even know why but God is 39:19 telling me to pray for Kim today. 39:20 So even with the Holy Spirit directs people to pray 39:24 for us when we are struggling. 39:25 So you know what? We can't do it on the show but tonight 39:28 I want us to sit down and pray that the Holy Spirit just 39:32 direct your recovery and that you find peace. 39:34 because I know you long to have that. - yeah. 39:36 Thank you for coming up in sharing that. - thank you. 39:38 - because I know it is tough, give me a kiss. 39:41 Okay I would like to bring Angie, come up for a minute. 39:45 I know this is tough, and you know why I want to bring 39:48 you up, and I have to say the first thing Angie told me 39:51 when she came on the show was don't call me up, right? 39:54 Right! - so I can't believe I'm doing this, can you? 39:57 - no. I can't. 40:00 Well you know you said something that I would love to 40:02 cover, because you said you know what? I don't know if 40:04 I've got it yet, what do you mean by that? 40:06 I just feel like I know what it's about and I know I want 40:10 it, but I don't have it, it's a journey, it's a process 40:14 and I am not there yet, but I know that it is a goal that 40:17 I am working towards because when I see all these women 40:20 and everything that is happening in their lives, 40:23 and the stories that they tell how we are all different, 40:25 but we are all the same. 40:26 We are all looking to find this happiness and this healing 40:29 that only God can give us. - right. 40:31 You can see the difference in their lives don't you? 40:33 - yes. - so tell us a little bit because every time 40:36 I can see it when Misti calls me on the phone, I can hear 40:39 it, so tell me a little bit about what you see as far as 40:42 the changes when everybody turns it over 40:44 to the Holy Spirit? 40:45 Well first of all like Sherry said, when she gets excited 40:48 about something that is all she can talk about. 40:52 She wants everyone to know, and she wants everyone to 40:55 experience it so constantly she is pounding at you that 40:57 you have got to get it, you have got to get it keep praying. 40:59 God loves you and He wants you have this, He wants you to find 41:02 your special for Him not to want you to have this freedom also. 41:05 So you just see a passion about her that wasn't there 41:08 before and a passion that instead of being wounded and 41:12 hurt over the way people have treated her she is just out 41:15 to make sure everybody gets it and everybody has this 41:17 healing that she has experienced. 41:19 - I know that you have issues and Misti would so love 41:22 to just say, get it, get it, 41:25 give them up and I know it in your heart you would love 41:27 to give them up? - yes. 41:28 So we are going to kind of hang out tonight after the 41:30 show, we are going out to dinner and we are going to 41:33 talk about the baptism of the Holy Spirit and 41:35 I am praying you get it. 41:37 If anybody's listening pray, pray with us. - thank you. 41:41 Okay Darbie I would like for you to come up and share 41:44 with us, and Darbie you know what is funny is the first time 41:46 when I said I'm going to call you up to share, 41:48 you said you know what? I just don't have anything really 41:51 and it is just small. Then you tell me what the issue was 41:54 and I laughed because I thought almost everybody on the 41:57 planet could relate to that. 41:58 So talk about, first of all what you told me? 42:01 I was very insecure and I didn't feel comfortable in my 42:05 own skin, but more importantly it was really that 42:08 my words had no value growing up. 42:10 - you got that growing up? - well, you know I came 42:12 from a family that loved me. 42:14 My parents did get divorced but we had a great relationship 42:19 with my family still and it really changed after I found 42:24 the walls, but mine really was, my words had no value. 42:29 It came to me when my husband and I were in an argument 42:33 and I kept saying over and over I kept saying, 42:35 you are not hearing me, you are not hearing me. 42:37 Immediately someone had just told us that when you feel 42:44 that anger, ask God where that came from. 42:47 Immediately, because they didn't know why I was saying it, 42:50 - right, it was so intense and you knew it was bigger 42:54 than the argument. - yes, yeah, yeah and I asked God 42:59 immediately where that came from. 43:00 I just wanted to scream so loud, why can't anyone hear 43:05 my words, why do my words have no value? 43:07 Because my whole life I felt like I shouldn't talk. 43:12 And I was a listener, I had friends I would listen all 43:15 day long, but when it came time to me, no one would listen. 43:18 So I kept over and over getting that message and thought 43:22 okay well I probably just shouldn't talk because 43:25 I should just be a listener. 43:27 From that moment, I had a deep cry. - so this is an 43:32 I had to go back to the fact that this is after friends 43:37 of yours and Misti was telling you to listen to God and 43:41 let Him heal you of this. 43:42 So she was really trying to say you don't have to be 43:45 there to say it. - Right because I'm a people pleaser 43:48 a lot like Misti, and she told me that's your junk, 43:51 Cheri Peters just told me that. 43:54 Is that funny, there is something really powerful about 43:56 knowing it is our stuff, because I can't change the world 43:59 But I sure can ask for God to change me and to teach me. 44:03 And that began with me on praying, to find what walls 44:07 I had built up and it caused my relationship with God to be 44:10 further than I wanted it to be, I wanted that closeness 44:14 that I thought everyone else had, and I couldn't find it. 44:17 Bible studies, nothing, I couldn't find that closeness 44:22 and finding that wall, that my voice, I didn't have any 44:26 value in my words, - and I love the imagery that you 44:30 have, is that you are little girl behind walls, 44:32 and even if you scream you are not going to be heard. 44:35 Because you have all these walls. Um hum. 44:37 It changed my desires, my relationship with God was what 44:43 I always dreamed it could be and I don't know if I can 44:48 put into words, it gave me a mission in life. 44:51 And the mission is what? - to tell others. 44:54 To tell somebody, and when I see people get it. 44:58 When I see people literally the Gospel is true, recovery 45:02 is true, that there is joy in our walk with God. 45:06 It is bigger than what people are saying, is not 45:08 about just going and sitting on a pew every week. 45:11 It is not about that, it is about freedom from all of 45:14 our junk and actually a restoration and 45:16 a renewed mind and heart. 45:18 I am going to give you a new heart and a new spirit, 45:20 and when you feel that isn't it amazing? 45:22 It's amazing. - it's amazing. - it's amazing. 45:24 Everything changes. - absolutely. 45:26 Darbie thank you so much and you don't look insecure 45:29 at all to me anymore. - I don't, good. 45:31 You've never met me - I know about when I look at you 45:34 you are just a beautiful woman and all that stuff and 45:37 I feel the Holy Spirit in you, I don't feel insecurity. 45:40 Thank you, it is all God. He healed me. 45:43 Okay, right now I want to bring up Shelly, and Shelly 45:47 as you come up I want to say that we are going to talk 45:50 about the Holy Spirit, and we are going to talk about 45:53 recovery, but your testimony is a little intense. 45:56 So I'm just going to warn people about that. 45:58 You're going to be on another show, we'll go into that 46:01 more in depth but I want you to say where you came 46:04 from? And how did you meet up with Misti and what does 46:07 the Holy Spirit mean to you? 46:08 Will Misti and I meant less than two years ago, but I have had 46:12 some very major traumas in my life. 46:15 The biggest one that most people, and the one 46:17 you are talking about is a little over 10 years ago. 46:20 I had gone through a really, really bad divorce. 46:23 My ex-husband, it was probably a year and a half for the 46:27 divorce, and three weeks after it was finalized I had gone 46:30 out of town to see my little sister. 46:32 For the very first time I left my three boys with him, 46:35 they were 11, 10, and 8 at the time. 46:38 And ah, so I left them with their dad even though the 46:42 divorce was bad, it had been awful for me but I had made 46:47 the decision to not try to influence their relationship 46:50 with their dad. - you didn't want to color that? - right. 46:53 If he was going to be a bad person to them, it was 46:55 a half to be something they are realizing on their own, 46:58 I didn't want to influence that at all. 46:59 So I left them with their dad and went to see my sister 47:02 and it was a three hour trip and I was glad to get away. 47:05 My mother had been ill and she was in the hospital so it 47:08 was a last minute thing that I actually did go. 47:09 I left on a Friday and on a Saturday morning at about 47:14 5:15 in the morning the phone rang. 47:15 My sister answered the phone in the other room and came 47:18 and got me and it was my ex-husband. 47:20 He started talking, which he did that a lot, he started 47:25 rambling a lot and into that saying all kinds of weird 47:28 things, he kept talking, he said they are all dead. 47:32 They're dead and I called to you I love you and he was 47:36 saying all kinds of things. 47:37 - if they're all dead were you talking about? 47:40 I thought he was talking about his grandparents, 47:42 they live down the street and we had a really good 47:44 relationship and for some reason that was a connection 47:46 that I was making. 47:47 Then towards the very end of the conversation he said 47:51 to me, I just called to tell you that I love you and 47:55 that we're all dead. Then I heard a noise. 47:58 And that was that. That was it! 48:01 I kind of started weirding out, freaking out because 48:04 I couldn't get him to response or do anything. 48:06 - What was that noise, what were you saying? 48:08 Yeah, I could figure it all out. So my sister had come 48:11 into the room by the end and for some reason I had the 48:14 mental capacity, I know now it was only God, to call my 48:17 Father in Oklahoma City and have him call 911 and check 48:21 on the home where my ex-husband lived and the kids were. 48:24 And we sat there for an hour, I called friends of mine. 48:28 I asked for prayer we sat there and prayed and I kept 48:32 trying to call, other people were trying to call the home 48:35 not knowing what was going on. 48:37 - you want to just say please answer. 48:39 Please answer and let me know what is going on. 48:42 An hour later, at 6:15 my dad called, and my sister 48:45 answered the phone and I literally sat there and watched 48:47 her face for what he was saying. 48:49 She just very solemnly liked umhumm, umhumm, okay. 48:55 She handed me the phone. 48:57 I remember my dad saying Shelly, the police just came to 49:00 the door, and the boys are gone. 49:03 - I can't even imagine Shelly. 49:06 But Cheri, with the last bit of hope that I had, what 49:10 I said to my dad was Oh good, do they think they know 49:14 where he took them? He said no honey, he shot and killed 49:18 all the boys and the sound that you heard was him 49:21 shooting himself, and he is still alive. 49:25 - wow. - I lost it, I don't remember saying anything 49:31 else, I don't remember the rest of the conversation, 49:33 I remember starting to throw things and just. 49:35 - this just can't be true. - just fall apart. 49:37 - this cannot be real. - I just fell apart and 49:39 I remember my sisters now husband, boyfriend then just 49:43 come to me saying if you have to be beat on something beat on me. 49:45 And I beat on him until he was black and blue and 49:48 just fell on the floor. 49:49 We made a trip back to Oklahoma City in the van and 49:53 I remember just looking out the window thinking I don't 49:56 have anything to go home to. - or to live for. 49:59 I can't even imagine trying to live. 50:05 I honestly can't say that I didn't feel the urge to go on. 50:11 There was this part of me, maybe it was just determination 50:16 that I knew this was done to hurt me. 50:18 I knew my mom was waiting at home, she had checked herself 50:23 out of the hospital to be at home and wait for me. 50:25 I have always had to be strong for my family, I've always 50:28 been a strong one, I've always been responsible for a lot 50:31 of things and that is a lot of my damage is in that area. 50:34 But I went home and I just remember that night knowing 50:38 that I had to be alone with God for awhile. 50:41 In knowing that they were gone and my life had changed 50:45 forever and I didn't know why. 50:47 But I told God that night that I would continue to go on 50:52 every day until I figured out what His plan was 50:55 for my life and I was okay if I never knew. 51:00 And we are going to cover every step of your recovery, 51:05 every step of that journey but I want to jump, how did 51:12 God convince you to allow Him to take that grief and pain, 51:18 because walking with it is one thing, right? - umhumm. 51:21 And I'm sure you walk with it for years. 51:23 I'm sure you set with Him in prayers for years but I know 51:27 that at this point you are literally saying to Him, 51:30 take it, take it. - I've done with it. 51:32 How did that happen and is the Holy Spirit involved in 51:35 that? - it took a long time, and finally took the 51:39 realization that I was living a lie, and sometimes just 51:42 couldn't handle it anymore and I would tell myself I was 51:45 giving it to God, but continually taking it back. 51:48 I would pull it back now and wouldn't let go completely. 51:51 - so every part of your body is still trapped 51:53 mentally, spiritually. - yes completely. 51:56 And I met Misti, and God had just started telling me 51:59 you need to share this story, you need to start stepping 52:02 outside your box and start sharing this story with others 52:05 because if I can put you through this, 52:07 this isn't your story. 52:09 This isn't your story, this is a Mine. This is Mine. 52:12 So Misti started sawing ever- body with all the damage and all 52:17 this stuff and I finally started realizing the lie that I was 52:21 believing was that I had done it, even though sometimes 52:24 I would say it was God, but I had done it. 52:27 So when I started asking for it, when I started taking 52:30 myself out of it, what I finally realized was that if 52:34 I truly believe in the all-knowing omnipotent God and 52:36 know that He gave me my children, then I have to know 52:39 that the day before He gave them to me, He knew the day 52:42 they would be gone, that everything He had given me 52:44 had already been filtered through His hands and that with 52:47 the Holy Spirit I was going to go on and that through 52:49 the story and through many things going on that 52:52 it will bless other people. 52:53 And you are going to see them again. - umhumm. 52:55 So the fact that God says I will raise them and hand them 52:58 back to you, I mean all those things that give us hope. 53:01 But the Holy Spirit not only gives us hope for the future 53:04 but gives us the ability to live free today. 53:08 I see that in you, and I think man, because God, a lot of 53:12 times we will talk about insecurities, we will talk about 53:15 childhood stuff and all of a sudden we see a trauma that 53:19 literally hits somebody with things that you think how 53:22 could they survive that and God says, you know what? 53:25 We are living in a world that is full of sin and when 53:27 that hits you, please come to Me. 53:30 Please seek out the Holy Spirit, and I think God so longs to 53:34 do that and I want to thank you so much for joining us. 53:36 We are going to cover all that on a different show, 53:38 you know that. - yeah. 53:39 Okay Misti I what you to come back up because I want to 53:41 say Misti a couple things to you. 53:43 One of the things I want to say is did you have any idea 53:46 when you started this search, when you start allowing 53:50 the Holy Spirit to bring healing into your life, 53:51 that you would offer it or teach people how to get it. 53:55 I had no idea, I didn't realize the freedom that was available 54:00 to me, I didn't realize that. 54:02 I have been since I was a little girl, I have been 54:05 a Christian. My mother taught, my mother became 54:08 a Christian when I was six months old and I really 54:10 strove for that relationship with God almost my whole life. 54:14 I'm 35 but yet I didn't feel any closer to God from when 54:17 I was a child asking Him in as at 35. 54:22 I remember one time he said to me, you wake up in the 54:24 morning and you feel like God just kisses you on the cheek 54:26 and He says Cheri just wait until you see what 54:29 I have planned for you today. 54:30 I remember sitting there thinking, how come I don't have 54:32 that, how come? I've tried. What is wrong with me? 54:35 But what was wrong was I had walls built and I was 54:38 keeping Him out. - and Satan says that lie to you, 54:40 oh you're not good enough. There's that lie again. 54:43 My walls did not allow Him in even all those years I was 54:46 asking Him in to change me and to walk with me, but yet 54:49 I wasn't getting, I think so many Christians probably 54:52 deal with this, get this people, get this. 54:55 Because is the difference between walking not close to 54:59 God, and walking with that relationship that we all want. 55:02 Let Him tear down the walls and let the Holy Spirit 55:05 bring down the walls and let Him come in, 55:07 because you are keeping Him out you ask Him and He comes 55:09 as close as the walls, as your walls will let Him. 55:13 That is as close as He can come, let Him bring down the walls. 55:15 And He so wants to bring down the walls. 55:17 I'm going to tell you that we are going to come back, 55:19 I want to share with you some closing thoughts. 55:22 But God wants to heal you, God wants to have such an 55:25 intimate relationship with you that He wakes you up 55:28 every day and kisses you right on the face, and you 55:31 are excited to live your life every single day. 55:34 Stay tuned we will be right back and this is exciting 55:37 stuff, comeback. 55:43 Cheri Peters uses the book, 'Coming Of The Comforter' 55:46 as a guide for the second season of Celebrating Life In 55:50 Recovery, written by Lee Roy E. Froom is a 320 page book 55:53 that offers every sinner the knowledge that the 55:55 Holy Spirit is available to all. 55:57 3ABN now offers this book to you for a suggested donation 56:01 of only $13 postpaid within the US. 56:04 Call 3ABN at 618-627-4651 or go online to 3ABN.org. 56:25 You know what I love about this? I read somewhere in 56:29 Ellen White's writings that Satan fears nothing as much 56:32 as he fears our understanding of the baptism of the 56:35 Holy Spirit because he knows that if we get this, 56:39 if we understand what God has offered in the gift of 56:42 the Holy Spirit, in the infilling of the Holy Spirit 56:45 and the baptism of the Holy Spirit, all our junk will 56:48 fall off, all of it. 56:49 He will have no more ties in our life. 56:52 He will have no way to mani- pulate us, no way to scare us, 56:56 no way to step into our lives and cause us to be 57:00 depressed and discouraged and all of that. 57:02 When I get the Holy Spirit, I understand who I am as 57:05 a woman of God, who God is, what happened to Christ, 57:09 and the Bible become so real that it absolutely will 57:12 scare you at first, and then it just brings hope. 57:15 That I am a child of God, I have inherited all this kind 57:18 of stuff, any detachment disorders, bonding disorders, 57:22 things that the secular world says that you will have 57:25 until you die, you will never be able to get over this. 57:28 One of the things I am socially underdeveloped and Misti 57:31 prayed for me after she got the Holy Spirit and I have 57:34 never had a problem socially anymore because I believe 57:36 that God gives us freedom from all those things. 57:39 He wants to give you freedom, He wants you to just turn 57:42 it over and let the walls come down. 57:44 Trust Him, if it doesn't happen right away, every single 57:47 day pray and when you feel yourself in the middle of junk 57:50 pray, and when you feel like you have so stumbled again, 57:54 pray, and when you get that urge that this may be it 57:57 turn it over to God and let Him bring healing into your 58:00 life and you will smile. 58:02 More than that, you will start telling everybody because, 58:05 all of a sudden, everything makes sense. 58:09 Everything makes sense, that we have the only answer 58:12 and the answer is Christ. 58:13 It is so cool always remember that God is crazy about 58:17 you and me too and we will see you next time, 58:19 and I had a blast today. I hope you did too! |
Revised 2014-12-17