Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Verism Barker
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR000125A
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00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues
00:03 related to addictive behaviour. 00:05 Parents are cautioned that some material 00:06 may be too candid for younger children. 00:10 Has someone ever loved you so much 00:12 that you just knew 00:14 that as you looked in their eyes, 00:16 you were healing? 00:17 Today's program is gonna be about that. 00:19 Welcome to Celebrating Life in Recovery. 00:21 And come join us in the cafe. 00:51 Welcome to Celebrating Life in Recovery. 00:53 You know what I want to talk about 00:54 before we even get started on this program 00:56 and introduce you to those at the cafe, 00:58 you're gonna love everybody today. 01:00 But I want to talk about this whole season, 01:02 we're studying a book or going through a book 01:05 called Victory in Jesus. 01:06 And I've got to just show it to you 01:08 'cause it's just amazing. 01:09 So Victory in Jesus 01:11 and the whole book is about grace, 01:13 it's about God, it's about, you know, am I enough? 01:16 And it's like you shouldn't really have to say that, 01:19 you know, when you come to God, are you enough? 01:22 Is he crazy about you? Does he know who you are? 01:24 And I'm saying not only does he know who you are, 01:27 he knows who you are more than you know who you are. 01:30 You know in the midst of our craziness 01:31 and I can be crazy. 01:34 I used to think that I was crazy, 01:36 you know, I think I still am. 01:38 But I have a God that says, you know what, 01:39 I know that about you 01:41 and I'm gonna get you through every step. 01:43 So we had somebody on the show already, 01:46 alcoholic, still drinking, convicted sex offender, 01:50 all of that kind of stuff, 01:52 and when I say convicted sex offender, 01:53 this guy was with his girlfriend in high school, 01:56 unfortunately he was 18 and she was not 01:59 and he's registered for last, man 1000 years. 02:02 I mean his whole life was changed, 02:04 and so when you talk about grace. 02:06 Can he do anything that is good enough for God right now? 02:09 Because not only was he convicted 02:13 but he was not a good kid before then. 02:15 He was already drinking, his mom was alcoholic, 02:18 his house was crazy. 02:20 He had to deal with so many different things 02:22 from the time he was born till he was 18, 02:26 that as he's acting out in party 02:27 and wild and rebellious and all that kind of stuff. 02:30 His whole life was already falling apart 02:32 and then he gets this arrest and imprisonment 02:36 and now he is a sex offender 02:37 and having to deal with that stuff. 02:39 It was crazy. 02:40 When I asked him to be on the program, 02:41 I knew, that this guy is a mess. 02:44 I knew that he doesn't know where he's at spiritually, 02:47 he still drinks just to survive 02:49 and we're looking at grace and he got it, he got it. 02:54 Do you even, you know for some of us to get it, 02:57 to get that I can't do anything more 02:59 than what God's already done, I can't be good enough. 03:03 And I want to explain it in the only way I know 03:05 how to explain that is through stories. 03:08 And I want to just say to you guys 03:09 welcome to the cafe. 03:11 I cant wait to meet every single one 03:13 and, Larry, welcome back, we missed you, 03:15 Iris too, Bob too, and we got some new guests, 03:18 we've got, you know Donna and Connie and Verism, 03:21 so I just can't wait to introduce 03:23 but I want to tell you a story. 03:25 I... 03:27 for most everybody knows, you know I'm addict in recovery 03:30 and have been just a mess most my life. 03:34 And actually most of my life. 03:37 That's a lie, I've been a mess all my life. 03:39 But you know I've just been a mess 03:41 and when I found God what was incredible to me 03:44 is from the moment I met him in a drug house 03:47 trying to kill myself. 03:48 He said I'm absolutely crazy about you. 03:51 And I couldn't believe it, I'm thinking, I'm strung out. 03:54 I've never done anything good in my life, 03:57 and all I know is God. 04:00 He says, that's okay, God says that's okay. 04:02 I stood up in that. 04:04 It gave me enough courage to stand up. 04:06 Not everybody was looking at me like you're okay. 04:09 You know what I mean 'cause I don't know how to talk 04:11 and I don't know how to be, and I don't know how to act 04:13 and I don't fit in anywhere. 04:15 You know I fit in on the streets, 04:16 I fit in with my friends but I don't fit in over here, 04:19 and yet God is telling me to stand over here, 04:22 sit over here, he was crazy but years down the road, 04:25 and I wish I could tell you everything. 04:27 But years down the road, this woman comes up to me 04:31 and she said, she just caught me off guard. 04:33 She says, Cheri, does your momma love you yet? 04:38 My mom's damaged and I love her. 04:41 And, you know, 04:42 my whole family is going through their own recovery 04:44 and their own healing, and it's amazing, 04:46 amazing to watch all that 04:48 but she doesn't, we never bonded. 04:52 I don't know if she knows how or I know how? 04:54 I mean we just don't know how to act or be and... 04:58 but that moment when she said that it caught me off guard, 05:00 and I started to cry and I'm not a crier. 05:03 But I started to cry and she just held me. 05:06 And when she held me, everything in me thought, 05:10 I think I wanted to be held like this my whole life, 05:13 my whole life. 05:15 And she said, I want you to know that I love you. 05:19 And I thought why? 05:22 You know, it was just a craziest thing. 05:25 And later on, I run into her again 05:27 and she said you know, I've talked to the whole family 05:30 and I told them I wanted to adopt a little girl. 05:35 Can I adopt you? I thought what? 05:41 You know, and how crazy I'm looking at this woman, 05:44 I'm like what, what are you talking about? 05:47 What do you mean? 05:48 And I remember just feeling that with everything in me, 05:51 what do you mean? 05:52 And she said, I'd like to adopt you. 05:54 I was 43 years old. 05:57 You know I don't even know is it, 05:59 can you adopt somebody my age, 06:01 you know, and she said I like to adopt you and John, 06:05 her husband is John Marcia and John was just being me, 06:09 almost like he was at the hospital 06:11 collecting the baby. 06:12 You know what I mean? 06:13 Just beaming, this couple was just beaming. 06:15 And I thought I don't know this makes no sense to anybody 06:22 but everything in me, I wanted a mom, a family, 06:27 my whole life, in that moment I realized 06:31 that the moment you said that, the moment she held me, 06:34 the moment I knew was real, I realized that 06:36 and I thought "wow", and I went home 06:41 and it was the craziest thing 06:43 'cause within the next few days, 06:45 I'm just checking my mail and it was nothing, 06:47 no big deal. 06:49 I'm checking my mail and I get a letter from her. 06:53 And I didn't know where, this is like for my new mom, 06:55 how fun is this? 06:57 And I opened it up, 06:58 and it's a little birthday card, 07:00 happy first birthday. 07:02 And it was a little kid's card and I thought, 07:05 this is how crazy, happy first birthday... 07:08 I just want you to know that I love you, 07:11 and I thought man, 07:13 and I just held that card too close to my heart. 07:16 Do you know what I mean, I have that card 07:17 and I'm thinking what is she doing 07:19 and within a few days like a week 07:23 I get another card happy second birthday. 07:28 And I thought no way, 07:29 and she wrote a little bit in it. 07:31 And every single time I felt that kind of love, 07:35 it was healing, it was so ridiculous, 07:39 it was so ridiculous. 07:40 And by the next week I thought, you know what, 07:43 I want to sit by the mailbox. 07:45 I want to be there when the mail comes, 07:48 and I open up the third one, when I was three years old 07:53 was the most awareness I had 07:56 of how much abuse was in my home, 07:59 of the sexual abuse and addictions 08:02 and the craziness and all of that kind of stuff 08:05 but I had an awareness of that. 08:08 But I opened up this card 08:10 and it was little duck holding an umbrella. 08:13 I still to this day, it was the craziest thing 08:16 that a little duck holding an umbrella 08:18 and it said happy third birthday. 08:21 And I wanted to weep. 08:23 I opened it up and she said I wish I was there 08:26 because I would have held you. 08:27 I would have told you how beautiful you are 08:30 and how loved you are and I could not stop crying. 08:35 I wept and wept and wept and every part of me healed 08:40 and so we're talking about right now the grace of God. 08:43 It's really interesting 'cause what this woman gave me 08:46 was grace and love 08:49 and this unconditional acceptance, 08:51 it was unbelievable. 08:53 But when somebody says what does God expect 08:55 when he gives you grace? 08:57 What did Marcia expect from me do you think? 09:00 Anybody, you know what I learned 09:03 is she didn't expect anything 09:05 but in the fact that she was loving me 09:08 and I started to be able to love her, 09:11 she just smiled. 09:13 She knew it was real and she knew was healing 09:15 that she knew I needed that. 09:17 And so I think that God is the same. 09:19 We try to behave for God, 09:20 and it's not that he doesn't want us to change. 09:23 Marcia did want me to change. 09:24 She wanted me to be able to receive love, 09:27 she wanted me to stand up and be in my own skin 09:29 and know how to respond her and God is the same. 09:32 He's not saying I love you and here's a check list. 09:35 He said I love you and relax in that. 09:39 Be okay with that. 09:40 It's gonna change everything about you, 09:43 not because I don't love everything about you 09:45 but because some of it is so damaged 09:47 that will always trip you up. 09:48 But in my love, you will heal 09:51 and so we're gonna talk about that, 09:53 what we do for each other 09:54 and allowing each other to heal, 09:56 but we're also gonna talk about the grace of God, 09:59 and what is our response back to him 10:02 'cause some people think 10:03 that they have fight to behave for the rest of their life 10:05 as God won't like them. 10:07 You cannot get God not to like you. 10:10 You can't, I don't care who you are, 10:12 I don't care how messed up you are, 10:13 you will not get God not to like you. 10:16 It just can't happen, he is love. 10:18 He did this whole thing, 10:20 set this whole thing in motion to get you, to get that. 10:23 As soon as you get that like what I got with Marcia, 10:26 you start to heal. 10:27 You start to relax in the fact that you are loved 10:30 and you are okay. 10:31 And so I want to say this whole season, 10:34 this whole season, I want you to know 10:36 that you are loved and you're okay. 10:39 We're gonna come right back. 10:40 I wanted to introduce to our guests, 10:42 you're gonna love for... 10:43 I fell in love with her on the phone. 10:45 The first time we started talking about 10:47 what we were gonna do on this program, 10:49 she won my heart. 10:50 So we'll be right back, 10:52 Celebrating Life in Recovery, stay with us. |
Revised 2016-09-13