Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Martin Weber
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00074A
|
00:11 Welcome to Celebrating Life In Recovery, I'm Cheri.
00:13 Today I'm going to introduce you to a guy they call the 00:16 buzzard because if he is around it mean something is dead. 00:46 Welcome, so this season is exciting to me because we're 00:50 talking about a number of things. 00:51 One of them is maintenance, so I'm going to recap what 00:56 we've done on other seasons, at other times. 00:58 When I stop a drug, when I stopped sexually acting out, 01:03 when I stop an addiction of any kind, when I decide that 01:07 I'm actually going to turn my life over to God 01:11 and let Him heal me. 01:13 When I get to that point with whatever the issue is, 01:15 it's like, how do I explain this? 01:19 It's like buying a ticket to a program, we've talked about 01:22 this before, if I'm going to go to a theater and see a 01:25 movie, I first have to buy a ticket. 01:27 Stopping the addiction is like buying a ticket, it is not 01:30 the movie, you know what I mean. 01:32 We have got to get that so clear, it is not the movie. 01:35 Is the ticket to get in, so stopping our addiction is the 01:38 ticket to get in and then as we start to step into that part, 01:41 I'm outside of my addiction most of us, I'm going to 01:46 talk about myself, I don't know how to stand. 01:48 I don't know how to think, I don't know how to act. 01:51 When someone says act normal, I don't know what that 01:54 means, what do you mean by that I've been 01:55 an addict for a long time. 01:57 What ever addiction means to you, I've been 01:59 that for a long time. 02:00 So you step into this part of addiction and 02:04 do this transition thing, that I am no longer 02:07 an addict, I'm no longer running to my addictions. 02:10 I'm going to go over my list of things that is important 02:17 to know about this. 02:18 The transition part, I'm going to transition into that 02:21 freedom from addiction. 02:24 Part of the transition is that I am going to actually 02:26 start to bargain first. 02:28 We'll maybe I could do just a little bit of the addiction. 02:31 Maybe I could just act out on weekends. 02:34 I could do all that stuff, so you transition and get 02:37 through that stage and you realize that if it is bad 02:40 for you, is bad for you. 02:42 Even a little bit is bad, a lot is worse, 02:45 but it is bad for you. 02:46 The next one is stabilization, I love this. 02:48 Just imagine that I am not steady on my feet and I start 02:53 to stabilize, that is part of the process. 02:55 Early recovery is that I'm going to change my attitudes 02:58 and beliefs about the addiction. 02:59 So changing your attitudes and beliefs about the addiction 03:02 is, I used to think the only way that I was going to get 03:05 through life, the only way that I didn't want to die, 03:08 the only way I can socialize as is if I was high. 03:11 I really believed that, I started doing drugs at 12. 03:13 Whatever your addiction is, and when you start, you really 03:16 believe that this is the only way to deal with stress. 03:19 Well I had to change that, I had to learn different ways. 03:22 So early recovery is just changing the beliefs and 03:25 attitudes about the addiction. 03:26 If you are having eating disorders, if you are a food 03:30 addict, to eat a $160 worth of food in one setting is going 03:38 to damage you, the weight and all that stuff. 03:41 So you start look at the issue and realize that I have to 03:46 change my beliefs about that issue. 03:48 It is huge! 03:49 The next one in recovery is that I am going to repair the 03:52 damage that was caused by my addiction. 03:54 Sometimes, we could just trash ourselves and other people. 04:00 It really is a time at looking at repairing the damage 04:04 I've caused a my own life and in the lives of other 04:08 people and all its stuff. 04:09 I'm going to start doing that. 04:11 I'm going to evaluate some goals, what do I want in my 04:14 life? And that is a scary place for some people. 04:18 For me it was real scary is that I never did dare to dream 04:20 about anything, when I looked at myself I looked at 04:22 myself as a damaged child, an unwanted child, 04:26 I was illiterate at 23, I don't know how to do anything, 04:30 I look at myself as all that. 04:32 God, and the people around me that are brought into my 04:35 life, started speaking truth into my life. 04:37 Your incredible, look at you. 04:40 I love to sit and laugh with you. 04:42 When people would say that it would hit me, who me? 04:45 I really don't have anything, no I love you. 04:48 So it is reevaluating that and the middle part of 04:51 recovery is so fun, you really start to accept the changes 04:55 made in your life, maybe, maybe I can have a life. 04:59 I want to tell you that I just wept. 05:00 When people read Jeremiah 29:11 that God had a plan for 05:04 my life and a future, He really wanted to stand up. 05:07 He delights in my recovery, Zephaniah says He sings over me. 05:11 I just wanted to cry because I thought, 05:14 are you kidding me? I am just an addict, God said no, 05:17 you have never been just an addict, you are My child. 05:21 You are everything to Me. 05:22 Even people that you gather around you at this 05:25 point in your life, you want to gather round people that 05:27 would just tell you the truth about that. 05:30 Late recovery, and this is the funniest part. 05:33 I can't even tell you how amazing this part is. 05:35 Late recovery says, that I am going to see myself as 05:39 something other than what I have seen myself my whole 05:43 life, I'm going to see myself not as a unwanted child, 05:47 But as a woman fully capable of taking on life. 05:51 Fully capable of doing whatever God calls me to do. 05:55 Whatever I choose to do, fully capable of that. 05:59 I think for a lot of addicts we stop at the fact that 06:03 we are clean, and I think all of heaven says don't stop 06:07 there because I know who you are. 06:10 I know how you laugh out loud, I know the things you are 06:12 going to do in your life, I know the things that are 06:15 going to wake up your passion so that you can literally 06:19 wake up in the morning anticipating an incredible day, 06:22 changing the lives of the people around you. 06:25 So late recovery is building depth and meaning into your 06:28 life, for a lot of addicts we don't get there. 06:30 I'm begging you, get there. 06:32 But this season we are not talking about that we are 06:35 talking about maintenance. 06:36 Maintenance is a fun thing, so now I have gone through 06:40 those transitions, transition and stabilization in early 06:44 recovery, middle recovery and have gone through that. 06:48 So now I'm getting into a place where I'm going to 06:51 maintain my recovery. 06:54 So what do I do to do that, part of maintenance, what it 06:57 means is that I'm going to learn to enjoy the journey. 07:00 Not the journey from addictions, because we have 07:04 dealt with that, but the journey in life. 07:07 I'm going to celebrate life. 07:09 Part of what this program was called, Celebrating Life 07:12 In Recovery is because every addiction has to get to the 07:15 point where you are on your feet looking up. 07:20 You have people around you that are amazing and they will 07:23 help you celebrate who you are, who God is, what life is 07:27 about and so that is this part of maintenance. 07:29 We are going to talk about that, the book for this season 07:31 even talks about that, Shelley Quinn's new book called, 07:34 'Pressing In', we are going to learn how to communicate 07:39 with God and really pray and take advantage of everything 07:43 that God wants to pour into you. 07:44 God has got a ton of stuff He wants to teach you, 07:47 especially if you have never been taught who you are and 07:49 how valuable you are. 07:51 God says let me have at you everyday and I will show you 07:56 exactly who you are. 07:57 This last time we want to look at on almost a daily basis, 08:04 this maintenance stage on a daily basis. 08:06 I want to look at what happened today, know what I mean? 08:10 I am all of a sudden, I've been there, I work with addicts 08:14 all the time, and sometimes I will be working with 08:18 somebody and my mouth tastes these chemicals and I'm 08:23 starting to itch and I'm thinking what just happened? 08:28 With a person's high I start to really smell and take on 08:33 that, the addict in me, I even stand different. 08:36 Like, you know dude and pretty soon I want to get high and 08:41 I'm getting triggered with all that stuff. 08:43 So in this maintenance thing, if that happens to you, 08:46 literally look at that, and don't be afraid of that. 08:49 What just happened? I know that I was around an addict 08:52 and smell the drug again and I'm starting to get tempted. 08:56 People with sexual addiction, it could be somebody walked 08:59 by, they have a sexy outfit on, or if it is a guy they 09:03 have these tight clothes on, or they smiled at you, 09:06 what ever it is the point where the addict jumps up again. 09:12 Hey, remember me? You just have to say wait, stop. 09:16 At that point saying stop is really saying to yourself 09:20 that I want to reevaluate that, as soon as it happens. 09:23 I do not want to be afraid of it, nor think that it's 09:26 never going to happen, turn that over right away. 09:28 For some people in some recovery groups they will say, 09:32 I will call my sponsor. 09:33 If you do not have a sponsor, God is right there, 09:36 you can call Him. 09:37 Sponsors, friends, pastors, people that love you. 09:40 In this stage you just realize that you can call someone. 09:45 Maintenance is just doing that, maintain everyday stuff. 09:49 I believe more than anything is to get into a place 09:53 where I understand prayer and communication with God. 09:57 I know, and some people think it is a lame thing to say, 10:00 especially be don't have a relationship with God yet. 10:03 I know that God is for me. 10:05 I can struggle with something and not even know how I am 10:09 going to get out from underneath it. 10:10 I turn it over to Him and all of a sudden, not only have 10:15 I turned it over to Him, but I get this feeling or thought 10:19 exactly what to do with it, it's brilliant. 10:21 So I know it is not from me. 10:23 It's brilliant and it is God, the Holy Spirit steps in and 10:27 says Cheri why don't you think about this? 10:28 Or do this, or talk to this person and literally I can 10:32 turn it over right away. 10:34 There is an acronym I want to give you before we go on 10:36 to the next segment. 10:37 If you have a pen, write it down, if you don't write 10:40 it down the show will come on again, 10:43 you can buy it or whatever. 10:44 The acronym is RADAR. 10:46 I want you to remember in maintenance stage radar. 10:49 The R stands for recognize when you're stuck. 10:52 Recognize when you are acting out, in this stage life is 10:56 going on and I'm learning all these new things. 10:58 I am starting to celebrate my journey in a healthier life, 11:02 I don't want to say normal anymore because I think normal 11:05 is over rated, I see people around me that have normalize 11:08 and they are miserable, so I'm talking about celebrating 11:11 life, literally finding your passion. 11:12 So recognize when you're stuck and except that, don't be 11:15 afraid of that just except that and detach from it. 11:18 When I say detach from it, detach from it by turning it 11:21 over to God, just tell Him I can't do this, I don't know 11:25 what direction, call someone you love, call your parents, 11:28 call your best friend, call your Pastor, get in touch with 11:32 somebody who has gone through this before, they ahead of you 11:36 and turn it over. 11:37 Accept help from the people you turn it over to, accept help 11:42 from the church, accept help from God accept help 11:44 from your sponsor. 11:46 That means that I'm not going to even try to figure out 11:49 what is happening right now, I'm going to accept what you 11:51 say to me right now. 11:53 Really you want to find people that you really 11:55 respect their own walk. 11:57 Then the last thing, and I hate this, do it! 12:00 When they tell you to do something, do it. 12:03 Even if it feels uncomfortable, if it feels uncomfortable 12:07 it doesn't matter. 12:11 If I wanted to learn to swim, and I'm thinking I want to 12:17 learn to swim, so Michael Phelps calls me up. 12:21 If you don't know who he is, a swimmer, he has won Gold 12:25 medals in everything he's ever done. 12:27 I think I saw him one time with 7 different medals on. 12:29 He calls me up and says, Cheri I heard you want to learn to swim? 12:34 I'm thinking wow, because I'm so going to learn because 12:38 this is Michael Phelps, he's amazing. 12:40 He says I want to teach you, I want to teach you. 12:45 He tells me I will write down everything you need 12:50 to know and send you some letters. 12:55 Excuse me Michael, I'm not sure because aren't you going to 12:59 come and teach me? 13:01 Aren't you going to jump into the pool somewhere so you can 13:03 show me these things? 13:04 No, I'll just send you some letters. 13:05 There is no way to learn that way, 13:07 there is no way to learn. 13:09 Even if somebody knows everything and decides to teach 13:12 you but you never get in the water, you never start moving 13:16 around to know what it feels like to be in the water 13:18 you will never change. 13:19 So when somebody tells you, have them show you, have them 13:22 do hands-on if you have to, but definitely you have to 13:25 have action, So the last part is to respond with action. 13:28 Do something, change your life, feel what it feels like. 13:32 I have attachment disorders and bonding disorders. 13:34 I do not know how to socialize so I had to put myself 13:37 through a lot in social situations. 13:39 The last part of this radar is respond with action, 13:42 actually do it and enjoy your life and live fully, 13:45 out loud, enjoy being in your own skin and let God bring 13:48 changes into your life that you will stand years from now 13:52 and look back and say I had no idea that He could actually 13:56 change me in this way. 13:57 I think that is the coolest part of this whole thing. 14:00 We are going to come right back. 14:01 The person you are going to meet is called the buzzard. 14:06 It's going to be, fun you have to stay with us! |
Revised 2014-12-17