Participants: Floyd Bresee
Series Code: FC
Program Code: FC000368
00:31 Hi, I'm Pastor Floyd Bresee and I've been
00:36 thinking, it seems to me there'd be a lot more
00:40 Christians if Christians were a lot more
00:43 Christ like. Let's pray about it,
00:49 Loving Father, in this time we spend together
00:54 today please teach us something that will help
00:58 us become more Christ like Christians. We pray
01:02 in Jesus name, amen.
01:06 Our focus today will be on a four letter
01:09 word TIME, we're going to talk about the
01:14 use of our time, please open your Bible to
01:18 Ephesians and chapter 5, I'll be using the new
01:23 international version. You heard of the song
01:26 that says some enchanted evening,
01:28 you may see a stranger, you may see a
01:32 stranger across a crowded room.
01:36 They have met, but their eyes just did.
01:39 They exchange smiles as spark leaps clear
01:42 across the room, pluses quicken, love at
01:46 first sight. Beautiful, romantic, sells
01:53 millions of magazines and thousands of novels
01:56 and hundreds of television programs.
01:59 Its just one problem, it doesn't quite so.
02:03 People in the Lord suppose to know say
02:06 there is no such thing as love at first sight,
02:10 that it can be an attraction at
02:12 first sight. You have seen someone that
02:14 conforms to your ideal to the image that
02:17 you intend to fall in love with.
02:19 Attraction can be instantaneous but
02:22 love takes time. You hold your new born
02:27 baby in your arms, you look down on God's
02:33 precious gift to you and you reach your finger
02:38 down and her chubby little hand grasps
02:41 your finger and you say to yourself, we'll
02:45 always be close, we'll always be best friends.
02:51 Not automatically so, not unless you spend
02:55 time together because love takes time.
03:00 You have some mountain top spiritual experience;
03:04 maybe it was that your baptism or a revival
03:07 meeting perhaps something that
03:09 you viewed on 3ABN and you say oh!
03:12 Now I got it I will always love Jesus.
03:17 Not necessarily so, now please make no
03:21 mistake about it we can be saved in a moment
03:25 but love takes time and that's our lesson today.
03:30 Love takes time, there are no shortcuts,
03:35 no exceptions, it always takes time.
03:40 And I want to apply this principle to three
03:44 relationships. Your relationship with your
03:47 spouse, with your child and with your Lord.
03:53 Let's start off with the spouse. Your love
03:56 relationship with your spouse will grow only
04:00 if you spend time together. There are
04:04 over a million U.S. couples who divorce
04:08 every year and millions more are emotionally
04:13 separated then they just staying together
04:17 out of some kind of necessity or loyalty
04:20 but love isn't working. We would prevent this
04:25 problem if we would just take Ephesians
04:27 5:25 seriously. Husbands, love your
04:33 wives just as Christ loved the church and
04:38 gave himself up for it. Just as Christ loved
04:44 the church and how did Christ love the church.
04:50 Christ shows his love for his church by
04:53 taking time, time to come down here and
04:57 redeem her, time to intercede for her
05:01 presently in the heavenly couch time to
05:03 forgive her sins, time to build those mansions
05:08 that the Bible promises, time to come back
05:12 a second time and take his church home
05:15 that where I'm Jesus said there he may be
05:19 also. So, if we love our spouses the way Jesus
05:23 loves the church we'll spend time.
05:28 All kinds of time, time talking together,
05:32 we get so busy that we never sit down
05:35 and just talk. Not about bills or about people
05:40 or about problems, do you ever sit down
05:44 and talk about the state of the union.
05:48 Your spouse's self esteem desperately
05:51 needs to know that you think she is
05:54 worth listening to. A wife who wants to talk
05:59 and a husband who will not listen there
06:03 is not going to be a very close love
06:07 connection. I want to speak for a moment
06:09 to you fellow clams we blame us men mostly
06:14 for this are refusing to open up and talk to
06:19 our loved ones. Its not a sign of macho
06:23 strength, most likely its either a sign of
06:26 indifference we don't really care or fear.
06:30 If we really open up our feeling, open up
06:32 our emotions, if we're really vulnerable even
06:35 with our spouses maybe they would make fun of
06:39 us and they wouldn't understand and they
06:41 wouldn't love us as much anymore.
06:45 And those of you who may be married to
06:47 a clam, remember a clam shuts up because
06:54 it needs to protect its soft insides and it
06:59 maybe that your clam as soon as he really
07:04 learns that you can be trusted with his inmost
07:09 feelings may be he would choose to be open
07:13 if he just knew that opening up would be
07:17 understood, appreciating and he would
07:21 not be hurt. But clams really understand we
07:26 know ourselves only as an outcome of disclosing
07:31 ourselves to another person and she keep
07:35 it all inside and never let it out, never
07:39 share your deepest needs and problems and
07:42 wishes and hurts. You'll never totally
07:47 know yourself, we learn to know ourselves
07:49 best by sharing ourselves with another
07:52 person, so much for the clams.
07:56 I would like to talk a little bit to the
07:59 magpies. We bribes the ladies most for this,
08:06 please magpies, those who talk, talk, talk,
08:10 talk, talking together includes listening.
08:14 The truth is that magpies produce clams.
08:19 Fibber McGee said, Mollie and I had words
08:22 but I never go to use mine. Spend time
08:28 talking together and your relationship with
08:32 your spouse will grow if you spend time
08:34 working together. The pioneer family was
08:38 forced your family to work together.
08:40 They had to work together that has been
08:42 a great deal of time working together
08:44 in order to survive, together they attended
08:46 the animals, together they went to the fields
08:49 and together they dug in the garden and they
08:51 planted and they weed, an they watered and
08:53 they picked in a can. Anybody remember
08:55 getting blisters from opening peas.
09:04 No it's different, most mornings he goes north
09:10 and she goes south and one of the kids goes
09:13 east and the other goes west and life
09:16 allows very little time together. One solution,
09:22 try working together when you're at home,
09:26 bath with the kids together, do the yard
09:29 work together, wash the dishes together,
09:31 make the bed together. My father was of a
09:34 generation that didn't much believe in
09:37 house work. I was so optical about him
09:42 late in life he decided, he became a true
09:45 evangelist for the fact no one should make
09:47 a double bed alone, its simple is not efficient.
09:52 Work together, work together especially on
09:56 a tough task, paint the house and when the job
10:02 is finished and you got paint in your hair
10:06 and on your hands and on your cloths and
10:09 hopefully some on the house. You stand back
10:12 when you have successfully completed
10:15 together a difficult task and its wonderfully
10:18 binding. We're too busy to spend time
10:25 together listen working together at home
10:28 doesn't take any extra time, all that because
10:32 its work that has to be done anyway.
10:34 Try working together, your relationship with
10:38 your spouse will grow if you spend time
10:40 playing together. Before you were married
10:45 probably virtually all of your time together
10:49 were spent playing, having fun together
10:53 and soon as we're married we just get too
10:56 busy and surrounded by life. No wonder brides
10:59 become so quickly disillusion. Well as she
11:03 married you to be a sweetheart not to be
11:05 a housekeeper. Play together, find something
11:09 you enjoy or just having fun together.
11:12 Play is very flattering choice because we
11:16 show what we, we really like most by what
11:20 we do when we don't have to do anything.
11:22 When we have a chance to choose
11:24 somethings are forced upon us our work
11:27 and our choice but spare time how do you
11:29 spend the how, I will flatter your spouse if
11:32 you prefer to spend some time just
11:36 playing together. And by all means
11:39 spend some time praying together.
11:43 Try this when you have your family worship
11:47 turn to your spouse, what can I pray for,
11:50 for you today, spend time praying together.
11:57 Young people tend to think that marriage
12:00 begins with a prince kissing an angel and
12:04 ends with a bald man sitting across
12:07 the kitchen table from a fat woman.
12:11 Such skeptics fail to understand two things,
12:15 number one there are many bald princes
12:19 and slightly overweight angels and secondly
12:23 if they've spent time together they share
12:27 a closeness that those hairy princes and
12:30 skinny angels cannot comprehend. Please
12:34 don't become disillusion with marriage.
12:38 A Christian marriage, people who believe
12:41 in love, who believe in love with all their
12:44 hearts should just keep getting better
12:51 and better and better in their love
12:54 relationship with their spouse. Because if your
12:56 love won't work at home it won't work anywhere,
13:00 but love takes time. There are no shortcuts,
13:05 there is no exception, love always takes time.
13:11 Now lets talk about your relationship
13:13 with your child. Your love relationship with
13:16 your child will grow only if you spend time
13:19 together. Turn with me if you will to the
13:23 book of Mark and Mark the tenth chapter notice
13:29 with me verses 13 and 14, People were bringing
13:33 little children to Jesus to have him touch them,
13:36 but the disciples rebuked them. When
13:38 Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said
13:41 to them, "Let the little children come to me,
13:43 and do not hinder them, for the kingdom
13:45 of God belongs to such as these."
13:49 Parents you got to spend time with your
13:53 child if you're not going hinder them.
13:55 Jesus said the worse thing that we could
13:58 do is to hinder a child. Are you hindering
14:02 your child's coming to Jesus?
14:06 Parents are models, you heard the song
14:09 cat in the cradle the boy comes to his
14:12 father says, dad let's do something together
14:16 and the father says yes, yes later on son
14:19 later on and again the boy comes, and again
14:22 the boy comes, and again and again father
14:24 says later on. Then one day the father
14:29 grows old and the son grows up and father
14:33 comes to the son and he says lets
14:35 do something together and the son says,
14:37 sure later on dad, later on. It's a frightening
14:41 thing about parenting, children are more likely
14:45 to become what we are then what we want
14:48 them to be. Now there's modeling which parents
14:52 do takes time, proverb says that a child left
14:56 to himself disgraces his parent. And if your
15:00 child is pattering more after the terminator
15:02 than after dad, may be its because he has
15:05 seen more of the former then the later.
15:09 They asked 300 seventh and eighth grade boys
15:12 to keep record for two weeks of how much time
15:15 their dad spent along with them and when
15:18 all the statistics were in, the average father
15:22 in this group spent seven and half minutes
15:24 per week with his son, take time.
15:30 Take time to tell your child what God has
15:33 done for you. Deuteronomy and
15:37 the 6th chapter and verses 5-9,
15:43 Deuteronomy, 6th chapter and verses 5-9,
15:52 Love the Lord, your God with all your heart
15:55 and with all your soul and with all your
15:57 strength. 6 These commandments that I
16:00 give you today are to be on your hearts.
16:02 7 Impress them on your children. Talk
16:03 about them when you sit at home when you
16:06 walk along the road, when you lie
16:07 down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as
16:10 symbols on your hands and bind them on your
16:13 foreheads. 9 Write them on the door frames
16:15 of your houses and on your gates.
16:20 What does this mean, on your hands
16:25 by what you do show how Christ love effects,
16:30 what you do and forehead how the love
16:36 of Christ and your relationship to Him
16:38 changes and effects how you think.
16:43 That door frames and the gates our text
16:45 mentions create a loving God fearing
16:49 home environment. Take time to forgive them
16:54 mistakes, you know well the story of the
16:58 Prodigal Son which is recorded in Luke
17:01 the 15th chapter, notice with me the 20th verse,
17:05 speaking now of the Prodigal, So he got up
17:09 and went to his father. "But while he was still
17:13 a long way off, his father saw him and
17:16 was filled with compassion for him;
17:18 he ran to his son, threw his arms
17:21 around him and kissed him.
17:28 No wonder the boy came home, because
17:32 he was led by a compassion father.
17:36 If you have a prodigal son or daughter be
17:41 sure they know that they'll be received
17:43 with compassion. May be they have drugged
17:48 the family name through the mud,
17:52 maybe they bring home habits you don't approve
17:54 of but you can still have compassion.
17:58 And if you have trouble having compassion
18:01 for a rebelling child remember how much
18:05 compassion Christ had for you when he forgave
18:09 you of your sins. But a warning to young
18:14 parents take time early in life. One mother
18:20 said I wish I'll half as wonderful as my
18:23 daughter thought I was when she was small
18:25 and half as stupid as she thinks I'm now that
18:29 she is in her teens. Well father was
18:33 dashing out the door on his way to the car
18:36 in the driveway he was in a hurry but here was
18:39 his son over his with his ball glove on and he
18:43 was throwing the ball into his hand and,
18:48 meaning to be a good father, the boy dashed
18:50 over patted his son and he said I love you son,
18:55 boy replied, dad, I don't want you to love
18:58 me I want you to play ball with me and
19:03 if we don't spend time with our children they
19:06 have a like to question if we love them.
19:09 Your love relationship with your child will
19:12 grow only if you take time. Now let's
19:17 talk about our relationship with
19:18 Christ, your relationship with
19:20 Christ will grow only if you spend time
19:23 together. Being a Christian is somewhat
19:26 like riding a bicycle in either you move forward
19:30 or you fall off. Have you ever tried to ride
19:34 a bicycle without its moving, virtually
19:37 impossible you got to move forward to
19:41 keep it going and we got to move forward
19:44 in our Christian experience to keep
19:45 it going and the way we forward is by spending
19:49 time with Christ. I suggest it's very
19:54 important that we learn to love Him by
19:57 spending time with Him and not just doing
20:01 things for Him. Remember the fast relating
20:04 story in Luke the 10th chapter, Jesus
20:08 and his disciples were visiting Mary and
20:10 Martha in their home and Martha was
20:13 real busy serving and Mary just sat there
20:16 at the feet of Jesus. Martha said to Jesus
20:19 tell Mary to get here and help me, Jesus said
20:24 Martha, Mary has children what is better.
20:28 Jesus was teaching us that there is a time
20:30 for sitting and there is a time for serving
20:33 but the time for sitting should always come
20:37 before the time for serving. Never sit
20:40 out to do the work of the Lord until
20:43 you have spent time with the Lord of the work.
20:48 We must spend time with him daily, if you
20:52 eat only once a week eventually you
20:55 starved to death and Jesus promised I'm
20:59 with you always, He longs to spend all of
21:02 His time with us. How much time do you
21:05 spend with him between weekends?
21:09 Now how do we go about spending time with
21:13 Christ? Well by a meaningful daily
21:16 devotional life, now everybody has to
21:20 approach their private time with Jesus in
21:23 a different way but there are three short
21:25 weapons that we should remember.
21:27 Three parts to successful devotional
21:30 experience, one is to lead, secondly to
21:35 apply and thirdly to pray. You begin with
21:40 reading a Bible is the best, you find the
21:44 Bible boring try a new version, start
21:48 with the gospel of John. Concentrate
21:50 on the life with Jesus, Matthew 5,6 and 7
21:53 they are sermon on the mount. So, after
21:58 you have began to read now apply, notice
22:03 Jeremiah the 15 chapter and the 16th verse,
22:09 Jeremiah 15:16, When your words came,
22:13 I ate them; they were my joy and my heart's
22:18 delight, now whatever does that mean, when
22:25 we eat something we internalize it and what
22:29 Jeremiah is saying as it when we internalize God
22:32 speaking to us then our worship become a joy
22:35 and if you haven't been enjoying your worship
22:38 you not been internalizing it.
22:39 You haven't been applying it directly
22:41 to your life as you live it. Worship cannot
22:44 be measured by the clock, it cannot be
22:46 measured by the page, read until a light
22:49 comes on, read until you feel the Holy Spirit
22:51 is speaking you name. Here is something
22:53 that'll work for me here is something
22:55 that applies to my life, don't worry so much
22:58 about the clock, don't worry so much about
23:01 reading by the yard or finishing a certain
23:05 amount of reading. Its reading until the
23:08 Holy Spirit speaks and so we read and then
23:11 we apply. And thirdly pray, and in your
23:18 prayer whatever else you pray include
23:22 four things, I'm a sinner, I'm sorry,
23:26 I'm yours and I'm available. I'm a sinner,
23:33 I'm sorry, I'm yours and I'm available.
23:38 Where can you use me today, actually
23:44 taking time saves time. You say I'm too busy,
23:51 taking time to be with the Lord, time for your
23:54 daily devotions saves time. Thought I was
23:59 splitting work, he had a terrible lot of work
24:03 that had to be done and he was cutting wood
24:06 with a gold axe, a neighbor came along
24:08 and said why don't you stop and sharpen
24:10 your axe to which the man said I hardly have
24:13 time to get all the wood cut as it is much less
24:16 take time to sharpen an axe. But by sharpening
24:19 the axe the work would have gotten done
24:22 sooner, by sharpening our relationship
24:25 with God and with our world and our service
24:29 for our master by taking time in private
24:33 devotions the less of the day goes sharper.
24:37 So, love takes time, love with your spouse,
24:44 love with your child, love with your Lord.
24:49 Love takes time. The air force academy has
24:55 a most interesting tradition. Their mascot
24:57 is a falcon and they have this tradition
25:00 when they have a football game.
25:02 The handler brings the falcon out on his arm
25:08 and he removes the hood and the falcon blinks
25:13 for a little bit and the handler releases
25:17 him and he spread those great wings and
25:20 he begins to fly higher and higher soaring
25:23 higher and higher until he becomes just
25:25 a spec in the blue. And then the handler
25:32 begins to throw around in a circle the rover
25:37 on the end of a thong and that's the signal
25:40 for the falcon to return, he folds his
25:44 winds and he plummets at 200 miles an hour
25:47 and is recaptured. But why, why does he
25:53 come back, he was free, he was in his own
25:56 element its because of his relationship
26:00 with its handler. And that handler must
26:03 spend time with him every single day to miss
26:07 one day can undo months of work. That's the way
26:13 it is in our relationship with our
26:15 Lord, it requires time together, daily time
26:21 together. Love takes time there are no
26:25 shortcuts, there are no exceptions
26:28 love always take time. Lets pray.
26:34 Loving Father, may we each resolve
26:38 today never to miss a day spending time
26:43 with our spouse, with our child, with our
26:47 Lord. And as we spend this moment
26:50 with you just now fill us I pray with your
26:53 love and send us out to our world to love others
26:58 as You have loved us we pray,
27:01 in Jesus name, amen. So love takes time,
27:10 there are no shortcuts there are no exceptions.
27:17 Are you a little bit behind in the amount
27:20 of time you spend with your family with your
27:24 Lord. Won't you make a new beginning and
27:28 make a resolution just now. By the grace of God
27:33 I'm going to spend some time with my family,
27:37 I'm going to spend time with my Lord and I'm
27:40 going to do it on a regular basis. Love
27:45 takes time, there are no shortcuts,
27:48 there are no exceptions.
27:50 Love always takes time.