Participants: Alanzo & June Smith
Series Code: FFH
Program Code: FFH00006A
00:04 With each new day families are failing, homes are broken.
00:09 Marriages are threatened, fathers are absent.
00:13 Children are rebellious but all is not lost.
00:17 Homes can be healed and hearts can be mended.
00:21 Let's reclaim our Families 4 Heaven.
00:32 Thank you for watching Families For Heaven.
00:36 I'm Alanzo Smith and my Co-host is June Smith.
00:41 We have been talking about When Tragedy Strikes.
00:45 The Morning After.
00:47 This is our second part interview that we are doing
00:51 with Carter Francis and Booty Francis.
00:55 Welcome again, please help me to welcome them one more time.
01:01 If you recall, in part one, Carter related to us a tragic
01:07 mishap that took place with his wife one Sunday morning in May.
01:14 And how after that crash she was in a coma for six long weeks.
01:21 How many bones did you say were broken?
01:25 Carter: She had broken bone in her arm.
01:29 She had a fractured hip, she had a broken left leg, both knees
01:38 and both ankles were broken.
01:40 and blood flowing from her brain.
01:43 She was bleeding from her brain.
01:45 If you recall, he told us all that he went through
01:50 as she was recovering.
01:53 That's a crises, defined it a as Situational Crises.
01:58 When we have our crises, the question is, what do we do
02:06 with them?
02:07 We want to talk in our second part on the notion of managing
02:13 your crises, managing your crises.
02:16 Dr. June, how does one manage a crises?
02:21 Dr. June: the reality is that not everybody's crises
02:26 will be the same.
02:27 So first you have to determine what are your needs
02:32 right then?
02:33 As you and your family assess your needs, then you must accept
02:39 the facts, you must be able to a sort what the needs of each
02:45 individual, or each unit in that family is.
02:48 Then you have got to stay calm and stay in control.
02:53 You shouldn't panic, although that is the natural response
02:57 for most people.
02:59 Because there is help, because it is a crises you may not see
03:03 the immediate solution or even resolution.
03:07 But there is help and there are people that can help.
03:11 So you must remain calm and stay in a problem-solving mode.
03:17 Now if the outcome is devastating, should you allow
03:22 yourself time to grieve, or is it wrong to grieve?
03:28 The last segment we talked about loss and death.
03:33 We talked about some of the stages people go through.
03:36 And no there is no set time, but when you are going through
03:40 a crises that may result in a loss, whether it is a loss of
03:44 freedom, a loss of capacity, etc, you are going to
03:49 experience emotional pain.
03:51 So one needs to have or allow time to grieve.
03:55 So yes you must acknowledge that this is a reality and give
03:59 yourself time to go through, as you gather support and
04:03 get help from others.
04:06 And especially if this crises it's a life-changing crises.
04:11 Now you have to adjust to those changes.
04:14 So you had your wife, you married her when she was
04:17 how old, if you don't mind sharing that with us?
04:24 Booty: very young.
04:27 She was very young, just a college kid.
04:29 You married her out of College.
04:31 Alanzo: You have enjoyed a life with her and now comes this
04:37 crises, this tragedy.
04:40 Alanzo: Did it change your life or were you able to go back
04:43 to normal living?
04:44 no it has changed our life for ever.
04:49 We were, one of the things we love, our hobby is to travel.
04:56 Booty and I would just come in on a Thursday evening and just
05:02 say we want to go some place for the weekend.
05:04 Then by Friday when we got off work we were gone.
05:08 Sometimes to Florida, sometimes we will come back to New York.
05:12 Sometimes we would go all over the place.
05:15 But that has changed completely.
05:18 Completely, completely, if we are to go anyplace now we have
05:25 to plan and think twice.
05:29 Alanzo: Why is this so? You are not telling me why?
05:34 What has happened to Booty? Why?
05:38 Carter: She is handicapped now. She walks with a walker.
05:42 Even if she has to have a bath and then she has to have
05:47 a special facility for bathing.
05:50 She cannot climb stairs and all those kinds of things.
05:54 So all of those things we have to take into consideration
05:58 before we can visit a friend, before we can go anyplace.
06:03 You know those type of things.
06:04 That has changed our life a whole lot.
06:08 Dr. June: As much as you have described changes physically,
06:11 you said her brain was bleeding, there was fluid.
06:16 The assumption one could make was that she probably had
06:18 left with some brain damage.
06:20 Was that the case?
06:21 No, she has regained about 98% of her memory. Amen!
06:32 And I must say that one of the things they told me at the
06:37 hospital after she came out of the coma, is they were
06:42 not expecting her to come out of the coma.
06:46 If she did she would have been a vegetable for the
06:50 rest of her life.
06:51 So God has miraculously...
06:56 Booty, we're talking about you, and you are sitting there.
07:04 You are the one whose life as been changed.
07:07 Could you talk to us, how life became different for you
07:13 after your consciousness, living your new life now?
07:19 What has changed for you?
07:20 It has changed in that I am not as independent
07:24 as I used to be.
07:25 If I am going anywhere, or planning anything, Carter has
07:30 to be there to go with me, or another friend or family.
07:34 So I have to think about what I am going to do before I
07:39 attempt to do it.
07:40 I plan my days so that I am not bored, because I miss my job.
07:46 I accept that Booty, this is where you are, start from here
07:51 and then you will make it.
07:53 Plus I've gone a lot of counseling.
07:57 Dr. June: Can you tell us, you are professional, you had a very
08:02 active job in the University there where you lived.
08:05 Your life suddenly changed as you describe this experience.
08:10 What adjustment did you make in accepting that reality?
08:16 First my supervisor, he was very close to me and my family.
08:23 In my rehabilitation process, let me go back, allow me,
08:28 because he wanted me to use my wheelchair before to come
08:33 to work, but I told him that would be too easy for me.
08:38 But he insisted that while I'm doing rehab I could come in the
08:44 day and see if I could do something at work.
08:47 So I went there about six weeks, three days per week.
08:52 I started to do what I used to do.
08:56 But then I realized, Booty you are not able to manage it.
09:01 So Carter had to drop me, if I want to go to the job here,
09:06 it has to be with me.
09:09 Is I have to leave, I have to call in anything that happens.
09:13 So I came to myself and I said Booty, you cannot do
09:17 what you use to do.
09:18 Physically, what can you do now? You are at home.
09:27 Do you have to sit and someone get you a glass of water?
09:31 What can you do for yourself? Talk to us a little.
09:34 Many things, I can't cook, well I can cook but I cannot put on
09:41 the pot on the fire or whatever.
09:43 Like I used to do. So what I do we got a computer and I started
09:49 working on the computer.
09:50 I used to collect Poems, so I started, somebody told me
09:57 what you can do is to put up a booklet together.
09:59 Alanzo: Did you do that?
10:01 Yes, I was able to do that.
10:03 Alanzo: is that this one here?
10:05 Alanzo: that's beautiful, it's entitled Collection Of Poems
10:08 And Thoughts by Booty Francis.
10:11 That is powerful, that is wonderful.
10:19 Dr. June: How would you describe your typical day?
10:21 It's like, after I have my breakfast, first of all they had
10:30 to teach me to do everything.
10:31 To make up the bed or whatever I had to do.
10:34 So what I do, I can wash our clothes, sometimes I can iron.
10:40 Then I use the computer a lot.
10:43 I do a lot of work on the computer.
10:47 Alanzo: Very powerful.
10:49 We must take a break now, we want you to stay tuned.
10:52 to continue to talk with these lovely people.
10:54 Thank you!