Participants: Alanzo & June Smith
Series Code: FFH
Program Code: FFH00007B
00:01 Welcome back, you have been watching Families 4 Heaven.
00:07 Alanzo: we have been discussing the positive side
00:11 of self efficacy.
00:14 We need to help you understand what are some of the signs or
00:20 symptoms of people who are suffering poor self-efficacy?
00:26 These are individuals who see themselves as unattractive.
00:32 They don't feel good about themselves.
00:35 They are worthless, they are stupid, and they conjecture
00:39 these feelings about themselves because they don't feel
00:43 good about themselves.
00:45 Encompassed with that is their inability to accept compliments
00:51 simply because they don't believe the person who is
00:56 telling them.
00:57 So you go up to a person and say, Wow you look really nice!
01:01 They will say, oh, come on, this is my old dress.
01:05 They discount the affirmation simply because they can't
01:10 bring themselves to accept that they do look nice.
01:13 These individuals have a fear, a fear of rejection by others.
01:19 So they over compensate, they will take on every task that
01:24 is given, they don't know how to say no.
01:28 They simply do not want someone to reject them,
01:32 they just have this fear and they end up being
01:36 people pleasers.
01:39 They have to try to be on the good side of everyone no matter
01:43 the cost, no matter the consequence.
01:46 Now some people with poor self-efficacy have a fear of not
01:51 being accepted or be liked by others.
01:54 So they will go out of their way to expand their strengths
02:00 or to do things they are not even capable of doing simply
02:05 because they have to accommodate everyone, and that sometimes
02:10 puts an extra burden on them.
02:12 They are not able to honestly say, I'd love to respond or
02:18 I'd love to do this task that you asking me, but I don't
02:23 have the time because I have to study, or have to go to work,
02:26 or some legitimate reason why they can't.
02:29 But they will say yes nevertheless, and at the same
02:33 time destroy the things that they have to do
02:37 in the way they should.
02:38 Let us focus now on how an individual might
02:44 develop self-efficacy.
02:47 How you can believe in yourself, your value.
02:50 Who you are created in the image of God.
02:54 Build yourself up, spend quality time doing the things you have,
03:00 that you get pleasure from.
03:02 As you do that, you will begin to feel better about yourself.
03:07 You will include your friends and your family, and also
03:09 the people who enjoy the things they bring you pleasure as well.
03:13 Face your fears, we all have challenges, we all have tasks
03:18 that we have to do.
03:20 Tasks that sometimes seem impossible.
03:25 Whatever it is that you are fearful of, the best thing to do
03:29 is to face it.
03:30 When you face trials and obstacles or whatever it is,
03:34 you will overcome it and it feels so good about yourself.
03:38 Their are times you are going to fail, it might be an exam,
03:42 it might be at a job you are asked to do.
03:45 It might be at some request that you attempted that didn't
03:51 come out the way you wanted.
03:52 But you know, failure is an event, it is not a person.
03:57 So brush it off, get up and try again.
04:01 Many people who succeed and who eventually get acclimated
04:06 in life were people who tried and tried and kept trying.
04:11 So never quit, there is light at the end of the tunnel,
04:16 and it is not the train coming.
04:18 Do something that you have been putting off.
04:21 Some of you have tasks, unfulfilled tasks.
04:25 Dreams, goals, some of you want to go back to college.
04:29 Take a course, learn a skill.
04:31 Maybe a smaller task to be accomplished, but you have been
04:36 putting it off and putting it off.
04:38 Do it, go do it and see how you will feel good about yourself.
04:42 Know what you want and go for it.
04:45 Know what you want and ask for it.
04:48 You might be in a job and think you need a raise,
04:52 or you think you should be given a promotion,
04:56 don't just sit there and say it to yourself,
05:00 make an appointment, go talk to your boss, talk to your
05:04 supervisor, get your facts explain to them that I have
05:08 been on this job for a while and I've done XYZ.
05:11 These are the things I have accomplished, I believe I am
05:15 of value to this organization and I think I am due a raise.
05:19 You would be surprised, your boss might be floored and
05:24 will honor your request simply because you are courageous
05:29 enough, and you show confidence.
05:31 They are looking for people to augment their firms or
05:35 institutions who have confidence in themselves.
05:38 So go for it.
05:40 We are talking about self- efficacy and knowing who you are
05:45 We are challenging individuals on how to develop self-efficacy.
05:52 The notion of giving yourself a treat, is there anything wrong
05:58 in once in a while taking care of yourself and
06:02 treating yourself?
06:04 Some people feel, no I can't do that, I shouldn't do it.
06:06 I feel guilty, should we?
06:09 I would say once in a while, I would say all the time.
06:12 Take care of yourself.
06:14 If you don't take care of yourself, nobody else will.
06:18 People will value you based on the value you place on yourself.
06:23 So take the time to build yourself, what ever your
06:27 challenges are, work at it.
06:30 What ever you are good at exercise your talents.
06:33 Volunteer your services, develop your skills and your potential.
06:37 Expand your horizons.
06:39 One of the things we need to do is you stop making negative
06:46 statements about ourselves.
06:48 Negative statements don't enhance your sense of self.
06:53 But what you think and what you say, that is how you believe.
06:57 We have been talking about self-efficacy.
07:02 We have been encouraging individuals to develop
07:06 their best potential.
07:07 What would you say to a young person out there listening
07:11 to you right now, give them a little message of hope
07:16 in believing who they are.
07:18 I would say you are potential, you are possibility,
07:23 you can be whatever you want to be, yes you can!
07:28 Above all, put your hand in the hand of God.
07:33 The same thing He said to Jeremiah, He is saying to you.
07:38 Before you were born, before you were formed, I knew you.
07:43 I have appointed you for something special.
07:45 You are special, believe it or not you are special.
07:49 Why? because you came from the hand of the mighty God.
07:53 Trust in divine power and let God lead your life.
07:57 Don't depend on people to define who you are.
08:01 Remember God has already defined who you are.
08:05 Thank you for watching Families 4 Heaven.