Participants:
Series Code: FGOY
Program Code: FGOY000006S
|
00:01 Welcome to "For Guys Only,"
00:02 a program designed to speak to the needs of the urban man. 00:07 I'm Pastor William Lee. 00:08 And today we have a very challenging subject, 00:10 one that's going to challenge us 00:12 but also build us up. 00:13 Today, we're going to talk about divorce. 00:15 And I challenge you right now to be in prayer 00:18 as we go forward in today's discussion. 00:37 Gentlemen, welcome once again to another broadcast today. 00:40 It is very good to see 00:41 each one of you all here on today. 00:44 As we get started, 00:45 we always want to begin with a word of prayer. 00:46 So let's just seek the Lord even right now. 00:49 Father, we are thankful that Your love extends to us 00:53 every single day. 00:55 Great is thy faithfulness. 00:56 I pray, Father, that You'll bless us 00:57 in our discussion, bless the viewer, 01:00 even right now, 01:01 for I ask it in Jesus' name, amen. 01:03 Amen. Amen. 01:04 As we've done in the past, 01:05 we've kind of just introduced ourselves, 01:07 just very briefly, 01:08 so that those who are watching 01:10 can just get a sense of who we are, 01:12 as we discuss 01:13 this very important topic on today. 01:15 Why don't you start right here? 01:18 Yes, my name is Brandon Dent. 01:20 I'm an engineer by degree, 01:22 a retired auto executive at this point 01:24 and running my own marketing company. 01:27 I've also been married 27 years, 01:29 two adult children, boys, or men, I should say, 01:33 and one teenage daughter at home. 01:35 And so it's my pleasure to be here on the program. 01:39 All right, very good. 01:40 My name is Colin King, 01:42 by professional I'm a clinical psychologist. 01:45 And I've been in the field now just about 17 years. 01:50 I have two adult kids, like Brandon of ages 17 and 18. 01:55 I've been married to their mother, 01:57 mother of my children for the past 21 years. 02:00 Okay. 02:01 And it's a pleasure being on this program today. 02:03 All right, very good. 02:05 My name is Muta Mwenya. 02:07 I'm the director of Elijah 3 Ministries, 02:09 urban youth evangelism ministry. 02:11 And our focus is to inspire, 02:13 equip and transform the urban community 02:15 through urban youth evangelism. 02:17 I'm married, have two children, 02:20 and ready to get things started. 02:22 All right. 02:23 All right, as always, I'm Pastor William Lee, 02:25 pastor in the Lake Region Conference, 02:26 currently pastor 02:28 of the Capitol City Seventh-day Adventist Church 02:29 in Indianapolis, Indiana, married for seven years, 02:33 and two young children, 02:34 have a five-year-old and a one-year-old. 02:36 And we're just excited once again, 02:38 to see what God is doing here, 02:39 and in this scope of earth's history. 02:42 Today, we want to just kind of address 02:44 this topic of divorce. 02:46 And I'll be very real with you 02:48 that this is a topic that affects not just people 02:52 on the outside of the church, 02:54 but this affects the church as well. 02:57 I want to go right to the Word of God 02:59 as we talk about this topic. 03:02 In Mark 10:4, the Bible says, "And they said, 03:06 Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, 03:09 and to put her away. 03:11 And Jesus answered and said unto them, 03:13 For the hardness of your heart you wrote this precept. 03:17 But from the beginning of creation 03:18 God made them male and female." 03:20 Verse 7 says, 03:22 "For this cause shall a man leave 03:23 his father and mother, and cleave to his wife. 03:27 They shall be twain, mean to, shall be one. 03:31 For then they are no more twain, 03:33 but one flesh." 03:35 Then the Bible says, 03:36 "Therefore what God has joined together, 03:40 let no man put asunder." 03:44 This is the biblical mandate from the scripture. 03:48 Now the challenge is, 03:50 is that we live in a world 03:52 where divorce happens almost every single day 03:55 and it happens in the church, 03:57 on the outside of the church. 03:58 Let's kind of just, kind of, get even more solid background, 04:02 witness even more so the Bible... 04:03 We just read this text, 04:05 but what else does the Bible say 04:06 about marriage or even about divorce 04:09 from the beginning of time? 04:11 Well, you know, you look 04:12 at biblical references certainly, 04:16 Genesis 2:18, God said, 04:19 "It's not good for man to be alone." 04:22 We look at Genesis 2:24, 04:24 "Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, 04:26 and cleave unto his wife." 04:28 The intent always was for marriage 04:31 to be permanent. 04:32 It was never meant to be trivial. 04:34 It was meant to be permanent. 04:36 But we have desecrated 04:40 this noble institution 04:43 to the point whereby people now have to sign prenup agreement. 04:48 So they going into the marriage with this very clear idea that, 04:53 maybe this is not going to work out. 04:54 So because 04:56 maybe it's not going to work out, 04:57 let me begin to protect myself right away. 05:00 So that's how bad the situation is. 05:04 The rate of divorce in the secular world, 05:08 in society is just about 50%. 05:11 And within the church, we're no much better. 05:14 It's about the same. Okay. 05:16 All right. All right. 05:17 So church and society about the same. 05:20 We mirror each other. 05:21 Wow. All right. 05:23 When God calls us definitely to be, you know, 05:25 higher than what the world standard is. 05:26 Yeah, absolutely. 05:28 Now there are some reasons 05:29 that by all means people get divorced. 05:30 I mean, people just don't, you know, wake up and say, 05:33 "You know what, you know, 05:34 I'm done with this relationship, " 05:36 for the most part. 05:37 I'm guessing that there are some things 05:38 that have led, you know, 05:40 to them wanting to separate themselves 05:43 from the person who they made a covenant with. 05:46 What are some reasons 05:47 why people in today's society are saying, 05:50 "You know what, 05:51 I just don't want to do this anymore. 05:55 Let me get out of this marriage right now 05:56 quick, fast, in hurry." 05:57 What are some of these reasons that we're seeing today? 06:00 I think I can speak in regards to the church, 06:03 one statistics that I saw 06:05 how in the southern region of the United States, 06:08 divorces are actually higher. 06:10 And if you look at the southern region, 06:12 it's where Christianity is actually the highest, 06:15 we've got the most Christians down there. 06:17 And one of the things we should also look at is, 06:22 many Christians get married at a younger age, 06:26 you know, texts in the Bible, 06:28 you know, be married lest ye fall, you know? 06:31 So individuals are, 06:33 don't want to be single for so long. 06:35 And stay away from the fruits of marriage. 06:38 But unfortunately, they rush into things 06:41 before they're ready, 06:42 before they're spiritually ready, 06:44 before they're mentally ready, 06:46 and before they're financially ready. 06:48 And so when all these things start 06:50 coming into play, 06:52 the frustrations really hit and it kind of bubbles over. 06:55 When you're not spiritually ready, I mean, 06:58 it just takes an absolute toll on your relationship, 07:00 'cause this is a spiritual environment, 07:03 it's a spiritual union. 07:04 And when that comes into play, 07:06 that right there 07:07 is one of the causes for divorce, 07:08 at least in the church, where you can see. 07:10 Okay. 07:11 You know, I like what you said that marriage is spiritual. 07:14 And I think we need to, you know, 07:15 we can't say that enough that marriage, 07:18 you know, God performed 07:20 the first marriage ceremony in the Garden of Eden. 07:22 He brought Adam and Eve together, 07:24 a male and a female. God brought them together. 07:29 So I just want to put a pin in that 07:31 to say from offset today 07:33 that it is a spiritual institution 07:34 that we have to invite God into this institution. 07:39 Let's kind of drill down a little bit more, 07:40 because there are some things that are happening 07:43 that in our marriages that we need to talk about, 07:46 especially that causing men and women 07:48 to want to walk away from their marriage. 07:51 So just kind of drill down a bit more, let's talk about, 07:53 you know, some of these reasons. 07:55 You know, there are several top 10 lists out there. 07:58 Yes, sir. 07:59 And if you do the research, 08:01 you will find that they have variation 08:03 from list to list. 08:04 But there are some 08:06 that hit the list pretty consistently. 08:10 One is poor communication, 08:13 finances is another issue, 08:18 irresponsibility at home. 08:20 Some lists have infidelity, and some of them don't, 08:24 interestingly, okay? 08:27 And that's because 08:28 communication trumps infidelity. 08:31 Depending on how they work through that thing, 08:35 they may be able to get over it. 08:37 Also, on some of the lists 08:38 are differences in religious affiliation, 08:43 especially where children are involved, 08:44 how we're going to raise the children. 08:46 That's just a few. 08:47 I don't know that you may have more supposedly. 08:50 Certainly. 08:51 Yeah, you know, and Brandon is absolutely right here, 08:53 several top 10 lists. 08:56 But some issues tend to find themselves 09:00 and whatever top 10 lists that may exist. 09:04 Let us look at communication. 09:06 It's not only a problem in marriage, 09:08 it's a problem in life. 09:10 Because if you don't communicate, 09:13 if you don't let the other person know 09:15 what's going on, it can pose a lot of problems. 09:18 If, for instance, a bill is due, 09:20 and you know that you are responsible 09:23 for paying that bill, 09:25 but you don't communicate that, 09:27 then that can result in a disagreement of some sort. 09:31 And if it happens again, if you fail to communicate, 09:35 then you'll begin to hear, 09:37 "You never pay this bill on time." 09:40 So we run into those words you never and you're always, 09:45 just because of lack of communication. 09:48 That is a huge one. 09:50 Financial issues, you know, we live in very stressful time. 09:53 And I'm not excusing or giving reasons for divorce. 09:59 I'm just making observations. 10:02 Financially, we tend to live above our means. 10:06 You know, I know that later on in our broadcast, 10:08 we will be talking about finance 10:10 as a standalone topic. 10:13 But, you know, we love to live above our means, 10:17 you know, we want the latest gadget, 10:19 you know, the iPhone, 10:21 you know, is it 4.0 software, whatever it is. 10:25 And so we stretch ourselves to the limit. 10:28 And we work our fingers to the bone 10:32 just to keep up with the Joneses. 10:34 And sometimes we're not able to. 10:36 So we make very bad financial decisions 10:40 that cause stress on the family, 10:42 on the entire family system. 10:44 And when the stressful times come, 10:46 we don't know what to do, 10:48 we don't know how to deal with those stressors, 10:50 bad recipe. 10:52 And the easy way to deal with it is to do, 10:53 well, to get out. 10:55 Walk away. To walk away. 10:56 And, you know, I think society, you know, makes it, 10:59 you know, even more acceptable, you know, Hollywood, 11:02 we see all these Hollywood marriages. 11:04 And, you know, subconsciously, 11:05 it really has transited right down 11:08 into our very hearts. 11:09 We think, "You know what, 11:10 I had to put up with this," you know? 11:12 "I can walk away," you know, "I'm my own person. 11:14 I'm my own individual. 11:15 I'm going to do me." 11:17 And just go away from this marriage. 11:18 And sometimes we don't recognize that, 11:20 you know what, again, 11:21 we've made a covenant with God, 11:23 you know, that, for better or for worse, 11:26 for richer or for poorer, 11:27 in health 11:29 or when you don't have your health. 11:31 These are serious covenants and commitments 11:34 that we make to God. 11:36 And I believe that in every marriage, 11:38 every marriage has problems. 11:40 And I think we need to say that every marriage has struggles, 11:43 every marriage has problems, 11:45 but it's how you deal with those things, 11:47 how you able to go 11:49 through those difficult situations together. 11:52 So that you can be strengthened, 11:53 that marriages can be strengthened. 11:55 The other thing that I want to propose is that, 11:56 you know, as a pastor, 11:58 you know, I am keen on couples 12:01 receiving premarital counseling. 12:05 And you know, I find couples all the time, 12:07 "Pastor, you know, I want to get married." 12:08 They're excited. "I want to get married." 12:10 And you know, the next words that I come up, 12:11 "Okay, that's great. 12:13 When you want to get married?" 12:15 "Oh, Pastor, I want to get married 12:16 next month." 12:18 "Next month! 12:20 Why so soon? Why so urgently? 12:22 Have you gone through counseling? 12:24 Have you, you know, taken steps?" 12:25 "Well, we haven't thought about that." 12:26 And it seems to me 12:28 that so many couples are getting married, 12:29 they have not really gone through counseling. 12:30 They really don't know each other. 12:32 But they have, what I call the Samson syndrome, 12:35 where they look at her and say, 12:37 "She pleases me way out, " you know. 12:41 And they rush into things 12:42 not really knowing what they're getting into. 12:45 I think that's one of the other reasons 12:46 why people are quick to go back and say, 12:48 "You know, ah, I'm not gonna do this anymore. 12:50 Go back to mom or dad, or to whatever else as well." 12:53 You know what, you're absolutely right, 12:55 just as haste, 12:57 and just a focus on the external. 13:00 What does this person have, 13:02 you know, they focus on material possession, 13:05 what can this person bring to me? 13:08 You know, as a rule, men tend to get married, 13:11 hoping that their wives will remain the same. 13:16 And women tend to get married, 13:18 hoping that our husbands are going to change. 13:20 Well, they can hardly wait for you to say 13:23 I do before you change your haircut 13:25 or to change your suit or whatever it is. 13:27 So we go into the union with a number of misconceptions 13:32 in terms of what I'm going to do, 13:34 or what I'm going to receive. 13:35 And once again, 13:36 that's a bad recipe for disaster. 13:39 Yeah, I know this one minister, who, 13:42 when he does premarital counseling, 13:45 his opening mantra is, "You marry the facts, 13:49 not the potential." 13:51 You marry the facts, not the potential. 13:52 Okay. Okay. 13:54 But I noticed the way the conversation has gone, 13:57 starting with what Muta had said, 14:00 and, Pastor, you have kind of echoed that 14:02 and then bringing in Dr. King's piece, 14:05 we're starting to carve out, 14:08 edge out almost a two phase approach 14:12 for success. 14:13 First, what do you do before you get married? 14:17 That's right. 14:18 And then once you get married, 14:20 you know, what things do you do 14:21 to continue to stay married 14:23 and not just sustain or maintain, 14:26 but to be able to thrive in the marriage? 14:28 And I think that's very important, 14:30 because if you do the right, 14:32 make the right considerations going into the marriage, 14:36 I think that really reduces significantly 14:40 the amount of ill issues 14:42 that you will have to deal with in the marriage. 14:44 And then if you're equipped to deal with them, 14:46 then you've got sort of two levels 14:48 or two layers of support for success for your marriage. 14:53 You know, I also think as well 14:54 and I totally agree with you that, 14:56 you know, they need to be brought out 14:57 that marriage is hard work. 14:59 You know, marriage is work. 15:00 You know, marriage is a 24-hour job 15:03 that, you know, never goes away. 15:06 Never goes away. 15:07 And most marriages, the reality is, 15:08 most marriages are either slowly drifting apart, 15:13 or they are coming together. 15:15 And I think it's easy, 15:16 you know, for every marriage to slowly drift apart. 15:20 To slowly drift apart 15:21 means that you're just living with each other. 15:23 Yes, you maintain, 15:24 you're taking care of the kids together, 15:26 but you're slowly drifting apart. 15:28 To come together means 15:30 that you're gonna be intentional, 15:31 that you're gonna say, "Hey, listen, every week, 15:33 we're going to have a date time. 15:34 You know, we're going to have communication time, 15:36 every single day, 15:37 we're going to make some things very practical, 15:40 and as a part of our lives, 15:43 so that we don't separate ourselves from each other." 15:46 And I think that as men, 15:48 you know, we can't let our wives dictate, 15:52 you know, all of those things. 15:54 We've got to be a man, you know, step up, 15:56 and when things are not going well. 15:59 Just I'll look to her 16:01 but I say, "You know, what, is it me?" 16:04 You know, "do I need to make some changes?" 16:06 Because oftentimes, it may be us, 16:08 and we got to be, you know, vulnerable enough 16:11 and insincere enough to say, "You know what, 16:14 I will never change." 16:15 You know, my spouse, "But you know what, 16:17 I can begin to make some steps 16:19 to change my own life, 16:21 so that our marriage can be what God really wants it." 16:23 But it comes back again to that male ego, 16:26 you know, certainly the problem is not with me. 16:31 That's what we think. 16:32 It has to be with the other person. 16:34 And you're absolutely right. 16:35 We need to do 16:37 a lot of introspective looking and thinking. 16:40 What it is that I am responsible for? 16:42 Not because we live in this age of no fault. 16:46 So it's not my fault. 16:47 And if it's not my fault, it must be your fault. 16:51 So I think if we live our lives 16:54 trying to please the other person, 16:56 rather than expecting, it will go a long way. 17:00 Let's kind of drill down even a little bit more 17:03 so in this conversation, that let's be real, real, 17:06 that we know that there are men and women 17:08 watching this right now. 17:10 And I mean, their marriage is really is difficult. 17:14 I mean, it's... 17:16 And to say difficult is an understatement. 17:18 I mean, you have two people living in a home right now, 17:21 they can't stand each other. 17:23 They really bypass each other, they see each other, 17:26 and they just take care of the house. 17:28 But they, other than that, you know, the kids, 17:30 there's kids now, 17:32 they don't have anything to do with each other at all. 17:34 And maybe it's because of her, 17:35 maybe it's because of past situations 17:38 that have not been dealt with. 17:39 And now all the power is there right now. 17:43 What do we say to a couple who is struggling right now, 17:47 who is even saying, "You know what?" 17:50 I hear what they're saying, 17:51 and I praise God that they're talking about 17:53 divorce right now. 17:54 "But I've made up my mind. 17:55 It's done. 17:57 It's over, cut, put, I'm leaving." 17:59 What can we say to the individuals 18:01 thinking that right now? 18:03 I say, wait. 18:05 Time is always your friend in those situations, all right? 18:11 Because if once you make the move, 18:13 if it's outside of God's will, 18:16 then you've stepped outside of God's will. 18:18 But by waiting, 18:20 you can just wait, bide your time, 18:22 and let God's will come into focus for you. 18:27 So, you know, 18:29 one thing you have to appreciate is that... 18:35 like the Bible says, 18:36 "Commit thy works unto the Lord, 18:38 and then thy thoughts will be established." 18:40 You may not feel it today, 18:42 you may not have it up here today or in your heart, okay? 18:47 But go through the motions that God has prescribed. 18:51 Put the burden back on Him. 18:53 Say, "Lord, I don't even believe 18:56 you can make this thing fresh for me again. 19:01 So I'm going to test you. 19:03 I'm gonna go through the motions 19:04 that You told me to. 19:05 And every day if I come in here and feel the same, 19:07 and over time, nothing happens, 19:10 then give me the right to blame You 19:12 for Your work failing." 19:13 I guarantee you 19:15 that will never come to fruition. 19:16 The other thing is that, 19:18 you know, there's no such thing as a perfect family. 19:20 You know, we look at certain families 19:23 or certain relationships. 19:25 And we think that, "Boy! 19:27 They're having such a wonderful time. 19:29 They're the perfect match for each other." 19:32 Nonsense. 19:33 If there's a relationship that is working, 19:36 it means that people are putting, 19:38 you know, a lot of effort into it. 19:40 And so I don't know that 19:43 that God is looking for perfect families, 19:45 but He's looking for real families. 19:47 That's right. 19:48 And what can we say to such people, 19:50 we need to say to them, 19:51 there's going to be good times and there's gonna be bad times. 19:54 And when the bad times come as Brandon said, 19:58 we have got to hang in there. 20:00 Knowing, trusting, counting on God, 20:04 to help us work 20:05 through whatever those issues are. 20:07 And we've got to be willing to let go of hurts, 20:11 because we can't hang on to past failures. 20:14 It's another recipe for disaster. 20:17 Okay. 20:18 You know, I think that we are, oftentimes we're selfish. 20:22 And we want things our way. 20:24 You know, as the mantra says, right away, 20:26 you know, right now we want things our way. 20:29 And a lot of people are saying that, you know what, 20:30 because I can't have my way 20:32 because you're not fulfilling my desires, 20:34 because you're not doing things my way, 20:36 that you know, 20:37 I will just walk away and do me, 20:39 do things my way. 20:41 When in fact, you know what, 20:42 if we would just submit ourselves 20:44 really to God sometimes, 20:45 and it's really recognize 20:46 that it's not always about pleasing me. 20:49 But it's about pleasing the other person. 20:51 I think so many times it will be different. 20:54 It will be even better as well. 20:56 Brandon, you said something I want to key in all 20:58 because I know there's a woman that's thinking this right now, 21:01 as you say, wait. 21:02 And I agree that time is, you know, time is good. 21:05 In our times people need time. 21:07 A lot of times people need to go 21:08 and seek a counselor, 21:10 a pastor or professional 21:12 that they can just be able to air out. 21:14 You know, so many times 21:15 we keep all this stuff bogged in, 21:17 you know, we never have an outlet. 21:19 And we need to seek counsel when that... 21:22 But in this waiting thing, what if there's abuse? 21:25 You know, what if somebody is, you know, 21:28 a man or a woman 21:29 is being abused in the relationship, 21:31 and that's why they're saying they want to get divorce? 21:33 What counsel do we give that person? 21:36 But your body is the temple of God. 21:38 And you have your first priority is to God. 21:42 You know, even children are told to obey their parents 21:44 in the Lord. 21:46 Okay. 21:47 So now what you have 21:49 is you have a violation 21:50 against the express image of God. 21:53 You have an obligation to remove yourself 21:56 from the abuse 21:58 that does not necessitate divorce. 22:01 It could be a temporary situation 22:03 where you separate and then get help on both ends. 22:07 That's right. 22:08 Orchestrated help in Christ, right, 22:12 that brings you back together, 22:14 allowing you to build maybe a foundation 22:17 that you didn't do the first time. 22:20 That's good. Yeah. 22:21 You know, I certainly agree with Brandon. 22:26 Quite a number of women are killed 22:28 by boyfriends and spouses. 22:32 As a matter of fact, 22:33 most people are killed by someone that they knew. 22:37 And so in the case of abuse, verbal abuse, 22:42 but more so physical abuse, where one's life is threatened, 22:47 we as professionals have that obligation 22:50 to advise them to just seek temporary shelter, 22:55 seek help, and try to resolve the issues. 22:59 The research is showing that when children 23:02 remain in physically abusive relationships, 23:07 they tend to fear worse. 23:09 The outcome is not promising as opposed to, 23:12 if they're removed from the damaging situation, 23:16 they're helped. 23:17 And then a decision can be made 23:19 whether it's safe for them to reenter. 23:21 Okay, okay. 23:22 Muta, I know that you work with your ministry, Elijah 3, 23:25 you work with a lot of young people. 23:27 Right. 23:28 And these young people come from families of divorce, 23:33 by all means in the inner city, 23:35 you know, you're trying to reach out to them, 23:37 how has, you know, 23:38 these children that you've come across, 23:40 that have been divorced, 23:42 or who you know 23:43 their family situation is difficult, 23:45 what kind of reaction or what kind of lifestyle 23:49 do these children have, 23:52 that come from parents that are divorced 23:54 or families are really struggling, 23:56 mother and father? 23:57 It's rough. 23:59 It's rough. 24:00 The first observation that I make 24:02 is they don't trust men a whole lot. 24:05 It's very hard for you to come in 24:07 and connect with them, 24:09 because of that void. 24:10 And then also just trying to make up 24:13 for the void that they have inside of them. 24:17 I mean, they do turn to drugs, they do turn to sex, 24:19 they do turn to gangs, they do turn to violence. 24:22 And actually, because a lot of the pent up 24:24 aggression inside of them, that's all that they can do. 24:28 They have to release it through one way. 24:31 It's either drugs, sex, violence, or more violence, 24:36 in one way, shape or form, 24:37 either, its violence through gangs and violence, 24:39 being abusive to their girlfriend 24:42 who they're with. 24:44 So it's devastating to see what the effects of divorce 24:48 or the effect of separation of the parents, 24:53 men and women can have on young children. 24:57 They just grew up broken. 24:59 Okay. Okay. Okay. 25:01 We spend a lot of time talking about, 25:02 you know, the one side of divorce, 25:05 the negative side or whatnot, 25:06 but we kind of touched a little bit about, 25:08 you know, men, especially, 25:10 you know that we take our marriages seriously. 25:14 You know, you all said that, 25:16 you know, you've been married for almost, 25:17 you know, two decades 25:19 or you know, 21 years and now that's... 25:20 Sounds like a long time. 25:22 That is a long time. 25:24 We're just good. 25:25 And you're still, you know, happily married. 25:28 There has been some steps that you've taken 25:30 in your own journeys, 25:32 that, you know, some decisions you've made 25:34 consciously or subconsciously, 25:35 they say, you know, I'm gonna do this, 25:36 I'm gonna do that, to continue to be married. 25:39 What were some of those things that you have done 25:41 to foster a marriage relationship? 25:44 Well, you know, I don't know 25:46 if I can personally take credit. 25:48 My parents have been my mentor. 25:51 And I've watched the devotion of my mother to my father, 25:57 and the devotion of my father to my mother. 26:00 And in that family and my family of origin, 26:04 we had a lot of problems. 26:05 It wasn't perfect. 26:07 But again, there was just this sense of commitment, 26:11 this sense of, 26:12 "Come what may, 26:14 we are going to make this work." 26:16 And, you know, that has been passed on to me. 26:19 And that is what I've been practicing. 26:21 So by no means has the road been easy. 26:24 But in my head, I hear them saying, 26:27 "Come what may, this is going to work. 26:29 Let God work it out for you." 26:32 That's good. That's good. 26:33 You know, and for Brandon, for you to be... 26:34 I love what you said throughout that. 26:36 You had a mentor, 26:37 you were able to look to someone 26:39 and to see really, 26:40 you know, we will call 26:42 a obviously a successful marriage, 26:43 but you're able to look to someone and say, 26:45 "You know what, I can mirror 26:47 my relationship based off of that." 26:50 And I think that's critical. 26:51 That's critical. 26:52 Yeah, that's interesting 26:54 because I have the same example. 26:55 My parents have been married, I think 64-65 years now. 26:59 Wow! Have mercy. 27:01 If I got it wrong, they're whacking on that. 27:04 They'll be on the above that. 27:06 But I did have that. 27:07 Now interestingly, I grew up in the house, 27:11 and I saw dynamics that weren't always happy ones. 27:16 But what I saw in my parents 27:20 was a willingness always to come together 27:24 with family worship, all right? 27:27 And I try to do the same thing in my own home, 27:30 because if you have morning and evening worship, 27:33 you got a small window about there of time 27:37 where you can have foolishness going on. 27:40 Because you just can't come together 27:42 and have worship and leave the foolishness, 27:45 you know, table. 27:46 So you got to come in and the ego comes against... 27:50 "You know, I'm sorry about that thing, 27:51 you know, we talked about." 27:53 And because I know I need to be able to, 27:56 as a priest to lead out in my home. 27:58 That's right. That's right. 27:59 I want to end with Romans 8:28, 28:01 "For we know that all things work together 28:03 for the good them that love God, 28:05 them that are called according to His purpose." 28:08 The Bible doesn't say all things will be good. 28:10 But the Bible says 28:11 that God can work those things for good 28:14 to them that love God, 28:16 them that are called according to His purpose. 28:18 Don't give up, my friend, 28:19 but seek God and let God bring 28:21 about the reconciliation and healing 28:23 that's needed in our lives. 28:25 Until next time, Pastor William Lee. 28:27 Time went by so fast, 28:29 maybe we have to talk about this subject again. 28:30 But thank you so much for joining us on today. 28:33 God bless you. 28:34 Amen. Amen. |
Revised 2023-04-13