Participants: Pr. John Lomacang (Host), John Stanton
Series Code: HCL
Program Code: HCL090009
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00:01 Hello friends, grab your Bible and a friend
00:03 and sit back as we explore God's word 00:04 together on this edition of House Calls. 00:22 Friends, welcome to one of the most exciting 00:24 programs in the world because we use the Bible, 00:27 don't you agree John? I agree. I, and we are so 00:30 glad that you chosen to tune in to join us, 00:32 sit back, don't rush, hit the record button 00:35 because this is not a program you want to miss. 00:37 And we're always excited when you choose to 00:40 tune in, invite your friends and family and 00:42 just sit back for God to walk you through the 00:45 experience of understanding and learning 00:48 His word, but I am not by myself, 00:51 John Stanton is here. Good to have you John. 00:52 It's good to be here John and another program, 00:55 one that we have never done before. 00:56 That's right. The topic that I don't know why. 00:59 Right. Do we forget in our relationship, 01:01 do we forget to do one on relationships? 01:03 You know people have been sending emails 01:05 about relationships and marriages and 01:07 all kinds of controversy in relationships. 01:11 So I think it's time that we do on our 01:12 relationships but. I agree. Let's pray first. 01:15 Let's start with prayer. Okay. Father in heaven, 01:17 we're so glad to be able to have a relationship 01:19 with our creator, and we thank you so much 01:22 for you have never left us alone to ourselves 01:25 but you have saved us, redeemed us, 01:27 and so Lord we come to you knowing that is a fact 01:30 but also in our relationship wanting to 01:33 draw closer, and so Father, draw us closer 01:35 to you as we open your word and send your spirit 01:38 Lord so that you may teach us how to know you 01:40 better, in Jesus name, amen. Amen and friends 01:44 you also know that Bible questions is a huge part 01:47 of this program, thank you for being faithful. 01:49 Some of you are so faithful; you send huge 01:52 books through the internet. I don't know 01:53 how it makes it here but it gets in and it's our 01:56 job to filter through those things that we can 01:58 answer on that and on those things we cannot 02:00 and John is very faithful in going on the Internet. 02:03 I peek every now and then but keep sending those 02:06 questions because they do make a difference 02:08 in our programs. If you have any to send today, 02:10 send them to housecalls@3abn.org 02:13 that's housecalls@3abn.org. We will go to the 02:17 Internet which links the world together, 02:19 download it and bring to the program and 02:22 answer your Bible questions, so John what 02:24 do we have today? Well we've got a great 02:27 question, actually it's two questions. 02:29 I wanna read parts of them both. Alright. 02:31 Because they talk about a similar thing and also 02:34 I believe something that is becoming more and more. 02:37 Oh! I don't know what do you call it, disgust. 02:40 It's a discussion point, more and more within 02:44 the church and so are we both of them 02:46 you can kind of see both perspectives and then 02:48 we'll talk a little bit about it here. Alright. 02:51 This opening one here's from Art. 02:53 Thank you Art for sending in this question, 02:55 he says I like your interpretation of 02:57 the Bible, we appreciate that Art, and on the 02:59 program, about heaven and punishment I noticed 03:02 you carefully used words concerning the 03:04 second death. You said in effect that each one 03:08 would be punished at different degrees. 03:11 No where did you say the punishment was 03:13 burning to death. Praise the Lord. I can find no 03:17 text or place in the spirit of prophecy writings 03:20 that says people will burn to death. 03:23 Degrees of punishment is understood by me 03:25 but being tortured by God just is beyond 03:28 my imagination. Okay that's one perspective that's. 03:31 Well I am holding back right now. 03:32 You hold back. Okay. Alright, here's the next 03:35 one and this one is from Ricky. He says here, 03:39 let's see I am watching part of your program on 03:41 the 27th, was a little unsure about what you 03:44 guys were saying. There were something said 03:47 about that there is no place that unsaved 03:49 people will go, in other words there is no place 03:51 emphasizing there is a, you know there is 03:53 this idea that hell as a place not in condition. 03:56 Like underground. Yeah, so anyway we were saying 03:59 that and he says that there will be no torment 04:02 or pain in hell which I believe to be untrue. 04:05 The Bible says whosoever is not in the book of life 04:09 will be cast into the lake of fire and brimstone. 04:12 Right. And that they will be burned. So now we 04:15 see both parts, so some say there is no burning. 04:18 Actual burning or torment going on. Others say 04:21 well absolutely there is because that's the 04:22 finale of everything and so this discussion 04:25 has come up more and more I have seen in 04:27 my own ministry. Maybe you've seen this 04:29 question pop up from time to time, does God burn 04:33 sinners to administer the punishment in the 04:36 last days through the lake of fire. 04:38 Now we've had discussions before about the fact 04:41 that hell is not a place, hell is a condition, 04:44 hell is a shorten term for hell fire which is the 04:46 lake of fire that comes down out of heaven 04:49 but there is no place hell right now that is, 04:51 that is burning the people are living and 04:53 writhing in pain and so forth and so on 04:55 but that's not the question we're 04:57 answering here today. But the question would be 05:01 then what scripture is there any evidence of 05:04 as to what happens in the last days with 05:07 regard to the lake of fire. What does it 05:09 accomplishing, what does it do? 05:10 Is it actually burning people, it's a symbolic, 05:12 is it not. Would a loving God actually 05:15 destroy sinners. These are some things and 05:18 maybe just throw some text back and forth 05:20 may be you and I John here. To answer or get 05:23 some enlightenment here on this subject. 05:27 The first one I wanna start with, let's go to 05:29 the Old Testament first. Okay, let's go to there. 05:31 And in these last days you know, we know that 05:32 that the lake of fire is gonna come down 05:34 out of heaven. We read that from 05:35 Revelation chapter 20. Well you mean 05:37 the lake of fire is gonna be produced from 05:39 fire that comes down from heaven. 05:40 From fire that comes out of heaven right, 05:41 the whole lake isn't coming down the fire 05:43 creates the lake. But this text we want to go 05:46 to is found in Malachi. Let's got to 05:49 Malachi chapter 4. That's right. 05:53 And what Psalm was this because it is the 05:56 same description of the same event. 05:58 So we might as well, will look at it 06:00 in the Old Testament here first Malachi 4 verse 1 06:07 and of course. First of all you read the rest of 06:09 Malachi leading up to this is talking about 06:11 the rewards of those who are righteous, 06:13 the rewards of the wicked. Clearly a delineation 06:16 between both, then we get to 4 verse 1 06:18 where it says for behold the day is coming 06:21 burning like an oven. Now first of all the 06:24 first thing I take from this is that not only 06:27 it will fire be kindred but it will be hot, 06:31 physically hot. There won't be, 06:33 it's not the symbolic thing about well 06:35 it look like fire, well it may, it may you know 06:39 to someone's view or picture of what 06:41 the lake of fire looks like. It looks like 06:42 something is on fire and the lake is kindled 06:44 with fire but no this is hot. That's right. 06:47 Like an oven it says and it says, it goes on 06:50 verse 1 and all the proud, yes all who do wickedly 06:54 will be stubble and the day which is coming shall 06:58 burn them up. So this fire that is hot turns 07:02 them into stubble which is consumed material 07:06 and it shall burn them up, says Lord of host 07:09 that will leave them neither root nor branch. 07:11 Clearly the scripture John it said telling us 07:14 that the fire that does come down out of heaven 07:16 that creates the lake of fire is intended to 07:19 burn up, to consume those who remain the wicked. 07:23 That's right. And so that's the first part. 07:26 Okay. That's the first one we have to start 07:27 that the Bible is not just symbolic in Revelation 20, 07:31 it is literal in saying that a fire is hot and 07:34 will consume and burn and destroy the wicked. 07:37 Now that doesn't answer what's going on in the 07:40 minds of the wicked in hearts of wicked all 07:42 those kinds of things but it does tell us 07:43 there is a literalness to a hot fire being kindled. 07:48 That's right and you know what's so strange 07:49 about this question is when you look at the Bible. 07:51 The Bible doesn't leave this question in a 07:55 vague context, it answers it very specifically. 07:59 The lake of fire when you think of the lake of 08:01 fire and the Bible says in Revelation all those 08:04 who are not written in the book of life 08:06 will be cast into the lake of fire. 08:09 If you're cast into a lake of fire, 08:13 what will happen to you? Anything cast into fire 08:15 burns, not just singes or just goes up in flames 08:21 before it gets there but there would be 08:24 degrees of torment. The Bible makes it very, 08:27 very clear, Matthew talks about weeping and 08:30 gnashing of teeth. So when you think of the 08:34 end or the finally of the wicked there are few 08:38 texts I would like to point you to. 08:39 Go with me to Psalms. Before you go your first 08:42 one though let me just say one last quick thing 08:44 on this verse we just talked about it, 08:45 it just pulled it up and I've got to see this. 08:47 When it says it shall burn them up. Right. 08:49 The word is lahat in Hebrew. That word is 08:52 translated as to set on fire. Oh! Yeah. 08:56 So when it says burn them the wicked up it 08:58 means to set them one fire. Ignition. 09:01 It's an ignition, it's a point of they are set on 09:04 fire, so I want to just say that because 09:06 that's I think it's a key issue and then the Bible 09:09 also uses the word consume, if you look at 09:11 Psalms 37, go there with us. 09:13 Psalms 37 and verse 20 the Bible makes it very 09:17 clear what consume is all about. Psalms 37, 09:25 here I am and verse 28. And John I have my 09:28 travel Bible with me today, you know because 09:32 when you travel on the aero plane, smaller plane 09:34 it looks to, no not a smaller plane 09:35 but large plane for travel Bible. 09:37 When you travel on the air plane they'll only 09:39 allow you certain amount of weight 09:40 you can't carry that King James version 09:42 with wheels, you got to carry the smaller one. 09:44 Anyway and it says Psalms 37 verse 20 09:51 but the wicked shall perish, people say great, 09:55 that's true and the enemies of the Lord like 10:01 the splendor of the meadows shall vanish, 10:04 into smoke they shall vanish away or the 10:08 King James version or the King James version 10:10 says into smoke shall they consumed away. 10:14 When something is consumed it has a 10:15 begining point and it also has an ending point. 10:19 When you light a paper on fire it starts, 10:22 eventually its consumed that's what the whole, 10:25 the whole word consume means a process the 10:28 starting of the fire, the consummation, 10:31 or the consuming of the material and then the 10:34 last part of it into smoke it's consumed away. 10:37 So when the Bible talks about the wicked shall 10:39 vanish into smoke shall they consume away. 10:42 You clearly see and then John in Revelation, 10:45 let's go to Revelation chapter 14 10:46 this is the text. I've got that one down. 10:49 You want to go there, why don't you go there 10:51 Revelation chapter 14. When you talk about 10:55 the fate of the wicked it talks about torment 10:57 and the smoke of their torment ascends up. 11:00 Right. And when John sees the entire world 11:03 it looks like something that just never ends. 11:05 This is the end of the third angel's message to 11:07 warning them about the mark the beast. 11:08 Okay. For those who receive that and it says 11:11 in verse 10, let's start with 10. 11:17 He himself shall also drink of the wine of the 11:19 wrath of God, which is poured out full strength 11:21 into the cup of his indignation. 11:23 He shall be tormented with fire and brimstone 11:27 in the presence of holy angels and in the 11:29 presence of the lamb and the smoke of their 11:31 torment ascends forever and ever and they have 11:34 no rest day or night who worship the beast his 11:37 image, whoever receives the mark of his name. 11:40 Right, so clearly once again smoke, fire, 11:44 fire coming down, this lake of fire represents 11:47 the world on fire. When the Lord reigns down 11:50 the fire, I mean you look at the example of 11:52 Sodom and Gomorrah. The Bible says they suffered 11:55 the vengeance of eternal fire, you see. 11:58 So that fire that was poured out on 12:00 Sodom and Gomorrah, everything that it 12:03 burned up was eternally destroyed and if you 12:06 look at the example in the book of Genesis. 12:08 I think it's Genesis chapter 6 or 12:09 Genesis Chapte 8 when the Lord sent judgment, 12:13 he sent it without it wasn't a flicker. 12:16 It was the consuming fire of God, also 12:19 the city of Jerusalem when they refused to 12:22 honor the Sabbath. The Lord sent fire down 12:24 on the city of Jerusalem and burned it up and so 12:27 clearly when the Bible talks about this and then 12:30 in the book of First Peter talks about a fire that 12:32 the earth is going to be dissolved being on fire 12:36 and it says also the earth and the works that 12:39 are there in shall be burned up. 12:42 And the works include all those who perpetrate 12:44 these works, but one of the most convincing 12:47 scriptures I found though about fire actually 12:50 existing and what it's going to do is when it 12:53 refers to Satan a Lucifer. 12:56 Ezekiel 28, Ezekiel 28 and verse 16, we will read 13:02 verse 14, verse 16 and verse 18 because 13:05 the Lord makes it very, very clear, you see 13:07 at one point Lucifer walked back and forth 13:09 in the midst of the stones of fire, 13:12 in the presence of God and he wasn't consumed, 13:15 but notice what's going to happen after 13:17 he is a fallen angel. Ezekiel 28 verse 14 13:20 and I am reading from the King James Version. 13:22 Thou art the anointed cherub that covereth; 13:26 that's about Lucifer and I have set thee so: 13:29 thou was upon the holy mountain of God; 13:32 thou has walked up and down in the midst of 13:34 the stones of fire. And when it talks about 13:37 the stones of fire in the presence of God. 13:39 God has his robe all around in this fire that 13:42 as the Bible describes it almost as though 13:44 it's quaking, it's bubbling as it were 13:47 but it doesn't consume those who are in the 13:49 presence of God who are righteous and Lucifer 13:52 had the blessing of being in the midst of that 13:54 stone and in that fire and not being consumed 13:58 but now go to verse 16. 14:00 By the multitude of thy merchandise, 14:03 they have filled the midst of thee with violence 14:06 and thou has sinned therefore I will catch 14:09 thee as a profaned thing out of the 14:11 mountain of God. I will destroy thee, 14:14 O covering cherub, from the midst of the 14:17 stones of fire. Now how is he going to do it? 14:19 Here it is in verse 18 Thou hast defiled thy 14:23 sanctuaries by the multitude of thine 14:25 iniquities by the iniquity of thy traffic; 14:30 therefore I will bring forth a fire from the 14:33 midst of thee, it shall devour thee, 14:37 and bring thee to ashes upon the earth 14:40 in the sight of all them that behold thee. 14:42 Notice it there. Yeah. Fire, from the midst of 14:47 him, it shall devour him and the end result 14:50 will be ashes and so when the Bible talks about 14:52 and I think you read it in Malachi, the wicked, 14:55 the Bible says it will leave them neither root 14:57 nor branch. So how it's gonna there will be 15:00 ashes in the same way that Lucifer was Satan is 15:03 going to be destroyed is the same way that 15:05 of his children the children of the wicked 15:08 one as Jesus says in Matthew 15:10 will also be destroyed. Well if you go a little 15:12 further into verse 19 of Ezekiel 28, 15:15 there's another issue here that I just want to 15:17 touch on. Okay. Is this all who knew you 15:20 among the peoples are astonished at you, 15:22 you have become a horror, and shall be 15:24 no more forever. That's right. Assumed you 15:27 would say okay, how to explain this 15:28 because Revelation 14, what we just read said 15:31 that they will burn or be tormented 15:33 forever and ever. That's right. And then it says 15:35 in the next verse, so this other words and several 15:38 others that there will be no more in fact 15:40 obey die I think the word is that they will be 15:42 as they had never been. So how do you reconcile 15:47 burning up and then saying that their torment, 15:50 their torment last forever and ever. 15:52 Here's how you do that. I believe the torment 15:55 that lasts forever and ever is speaking more of 15:58 the condition of their punishment or their 16:00 condition during punishment at the time 16:03 that the the lake of fire is kindled. 16:06 I believe God is a just God, do you believe 16:08 God is a just God? Oh! Clearly. 16:09 And so I cannot imagine nor can most of us 16:14 who live in a court system at least within 16:16 America that's a do a Christian kind of a court 16:18 system where you are punished for the crime 16:20 that you committed and that punishment 16:22 fix the crime. Right. So you know if you're 16:25 a thief, you may have to do probation or community 16:28 service or if you've been stealing a lot or you 16:30 stole something big, may be you do a little bit 16:32 of time but if you do a murder you're talking 16:35 about life time sentence. Right. You know in most 16:37 states today, so you know the punishment 16:40 fits the crime. So what do we deal with here, 16:42 do we say that someone like a Hitler or a 16:45 Mussuloni or someone like that who's done 16:49 heinous crimes against humanity would suffer 16:53 the same penalty. As a guy who just ran 16:55 into a convenient store. Yeah, or just yeah 16:58 who stolen some things, who doesn't really care 17:00 about God, doesn't believe in God but 17:02 you know dies you know not really caring 17:05 but in his own sin. Right. We can't say 17:09 and I can't put my mind at least around punishment 17:11 the same punishment for both. 17:13 Well the Bible doesn't even support the same 17:15 punishment for both, as a matter of fact 17:17 Ecclesiastes chapter 12 verse 13 and 14, 17:21 it makes it very, very clear that the judgment 17:25 will be according to the crime. Yeah, according to 17:28 their works too over and over even Jesus said 17:31 you're judged according to your works. 17:33 Exactly, what does that judgment mean? 17:34 It means the punishment or the executive 17:36 part of the judgment being meted out according to 17:38 what you have done and in Hitler's case 17:42 a much greater punishment I believe. 17:44 Now when it's speaking of as you're going there, 17:46 when speaking of tormented forever and ever 17:49 I believe that is probably some of the experience 17:52 of those who are being consumed. 17:57 Because to some degree John we have to 18:00 recognize that, in there being consumed that 18:03 some will burn more quickly than others. 18:05 Right. And some say well I have a problem with 18:07 that because that makes God a bit of a torturer 18:10 because he keeps some alive to experience 18:12 punishment enough to rather than letting 18:16 their complete mortality just burn them up 18:18 in an instant. Right. And I will suggest to you 18:21 that there the reason for that is because God 18:23 is a just God as much as he is a merciful God. 18:28 There you go, very well, very well said. 18:29 So we have a mercy of God but we also have 18:31 the justice of God, if God did not do it that way. 18:34 He could not be a just God because there are 18:37 many who are I mean look at the Fifth Seal 18:42 where it says the Souls and the Altars 18:44 are crying out to the God, you know when 18:45 will you avenge our blood on those who are. 18:49 Dwell on the earth. Who dwell on the earth, 18:50 those who prosecute, who killed us, 18:52 who tortured us. Right. When you are gonna 18:53 avenge us, well that word avenge is not just 18:57 destroy. Right. It means pay back. That's right. 18:59 Return meet out a just punishment for what 19:02 they done to me. And what does God say 19:04 vengeance is? Is mine, so this at the end the 19:08 lake of fire is the vengeance, is the justice 19:11 that he is meeting out and it isn't just one 19:13 quick boof everybody is gone, people would be 19:16 administered or receive the justice that they 19:19 deserve according to their works. 19:21 I have seen some court proceeding where the 19:23 judge would say I wish I have the latitude to 19:29 change the decision of the court. 19:31 Well my position, my job is to follow the 19:34 judicial code; therefore I must follow the justice. 19:39 I must meter out the justice that this crime 19:42 is due, therefore you are remanded to in custody 19:45 and to serve a triple life sentence. 19:47 You know he says those things and John I always 19:50 said this with tongue and cheek, even if a guy 19:52 died and came back here to go right back 19:54 to prison. You know triple life sentence; 19:56 there is no such things as a triple life sentence 19:59 but this question really does warrant 20:02 understanding a couple of things. 20:03 One God is a just God; God is a merciful God 20:06 that's what Isaiah refers to the destruction of 20:08 man is God's strange act. He doesn't all of a 20:11 sudden have a cork in his character but when 20:13 sin began, sins runs its course. Sin has to be 20:18 eradicated and all those who take their 20:20 stand with it. Can you imagine a person being 20:23 in heaven that doesn't want to be there and his 20:25 his whole life is just as kill, permit a murder 20:28 and lie and steal and kill and cheat to the most 20:31 intense degree and he is in heaven because 20:33 you know God just can't kill people or he's gonna 20:35 be in a new earth and we have to judge a final 20:37 way keep them out so will lock our doors 20:39 in the new earth. No, that's not the justice 20:41 of God, the justice must fit the punishment 20:45 for the crime and Revelation 22 verse 12 20:49 behold I am coming quickly and my reward is 20:51 with me to give every man according as his 20:54 work shall be. Right. So what's gonna happen 20:56 to the wicked, here's the end of the question. 20:58 Psalms 37 verse 10. For yet a little while and the 21:02 wicked shall be no more there not going to be 21:04 burning forever and ever. Indeed you will look 21:07 carefully for his place but it shall be no more. 21:11 Where as the King James version says it shall not 21:13 be you look for, but shall not be. 21:16 So there's not gonna be any whole in the ground 21:18 somewhere or a lake in Utah where people 21:20 are still burning. Right. Now the last piece of 21:22 this because we do need to wind up the question, 21:24 the very last part of this is some suggest then 21:27 that, okay I can agree with the fire coming down 21:30 out of heaven and the lake that begins to burn 21:32 and consume those who are wicked. 21:34 But what they have tried to explain a way 21:37 God's justice in this respect. 21:40 They're trying to explain a way may be 21:42 some of the torment that the experience as not 21:44 coming from God himself but that God steps away. 21:48 In other words He turns away from them and 21:50 the separation between them and him and the 21:52 wicked naturally consumes then the 21:55 wicked are consumed by the fire that 21:58 has been kindled. So it's not really God 22:00 intentionally burning them but he turns their 22:04 back on them. He walks away from them or 22:06 maybe even his presence being there consumes 22:09 them naturally, that's the lake of fire. 22:11 But you know you read throughout scripture, 22:14 I read a text before we even kind of began 22:16 our program today about you know from 22:17 Numbers chapter I believe it was 16. 22:20 About those who were burning profaned 22:22 fire before the Lord. You know they were 22:24 burning incense the way God didn't instruct them 22:26 they could do that. And fire came down 22:29 from God it says, He, fire came down from Him 22:32 and burned them up. Right. And soon them in 22:35 an instant and so me that tells me okay has 22:38 God changed his character? You know what did 22:41 He do it then for his holiness sake you know, 22:45 his character to uphold who he is? Or you know, 22:48 when we get to the end of time somehow 22:50 no he is a different kind of a God. 22:52 So he is not really gonna do that, no I believe 22:54 that's a picture of what's gonna happen 22:56 in the last days that he will actually kindle the 22:59 fire that begins the lake and he sends it down. 23:02 And you know what has happened in the society 23:06 in which we live, we have this thing called 23:07 political correctness and so we try to tidy up God. 23:12 That's why you hear so many sermons that 23:14 don't really talk about God's judgments. 23:16 Sermons don't talk about sin and the way it 23:18 should be preached. Matter of fact laws 23:20 have been passed that you can preach against 23:21 certain things any longer. In some places you can't 23:25 speak against immorality or homosexuality 23:27 or the base sexual crimes. Or the base sexual 23:31 practices because we don't want it to be offensive 23:34 and we have this thing in our society nowadays 23:36 that it all has to be palatable for the air. 23:39 Well you know, when you think of the 23:40 crucifixion of Jesus. He didn't go to the cross 23:43 because it was a nice deed, He went to the cross 23:45 because He want there to save us. 23:46 He bore our sins; He was bruised for our inequity. 23:50 He didn't suffer this kind whipping in the 23:53 course of pilot; they didn't supposedly put 23:57 blunt thorns on his head. You get my point, 24:00 and so when you look at the torment and the 24:02 torture that Jesus went through for us. 24:05 Those who do not accept His deliverance 24:08 and His wounds and His punishment will face 24:12 that themselves and that's the justice of God. 24:14 Yeah. You haven't accepted my deliverance 24:16 therefore you must now receive the reward of 24:19 your own punishment of your own sin. 24:21 Anyway. I hope you feel exhaustedly to 24:24 some degree. Yeah and that's a, that's a very 24:26 is an intense topic but one that really warns 24:30 asking the question. Somebody also wrote a 24:33 question here it says okay, I know of a pastor 24:38 that keeps the Sabbath but teaches that you 24:41 cannot keep the Ten Commandments. Is this true? 24:45 Did I miss something? He honor, he keeps 24:49 the Sabbath or commandment but he says 24:52 you can't keep the commandments. 24:55 So he has axed himself out. Yeah. 24:57 So if your pastors the one that's teaching just 24:59 tell him what he's doing is of absolutely no 25:03 value whatsoever because he is keeping something 25:05 that he said he can't keep. Well my Bible doesn't 25:08 teach that first of all let's start with the 25:09 most wonderful text in the scriptures at least 25:12 in the sense of God's love. If you love me 25:14 John 14, 15. If you love me, 25:18 keep my commandments. Philippians 4:13 I can do 25:22 all things through Christ who strengthens me. 25:26 So the key is not so much on the human side 25:29 because the children of Israel, when Moses 25:31 presented the commandments for them. 25:33 They said all that the Lord has said, we will do. 25:38 They didn't say all that the Lord has says 25:40 we will do through his strength, they said 25:42 all that he has said we will do and they worked on 25:46 keeping the commandments of through human effort 25:48 which we know the story they failed. 25:51 But here are some scriptures in the Bible 25:53 that does let us know that the Lord expects 25:55 us to keep His commandments. 25:57 Exodus 16 verse 28 the Lord says how long do you 26:00 refuse to keep my commandments, so if they 26:04 refused to keep his commandments then he is 26:07 suggesting that they could keep his commandments 26:11 through his strength. Here's another one 26:13 Exodus 20 verse 6. Showing mercy to 26:16 thousands of those who love me and keep 26:20 my commandments. And John you know, 26:22 we very well know that this is an attempt to get 26:25 rid of the Sabbath because we can't keep 26:27 the commandments and I have heard pastor 26:29 say this. You can jump in anytime but wait. 26:34 Okay, hold on. I have heard pastor say that 26:39 you can't keep the commandments, what they 26:40 actually mean is they are trying to get rid of 26:42 Sabbath the fourth commandment. 26:43 Yeah they don't have a problem with 26:44 the other ones. But they don't, 26:46 a pastor that says when you leave church today, 26:50 really restrain yourself because I know you 26:51 wanna kill your neighbor. I know you wanna 26:53 commit adultery, I know you want to lie 26:54 and kill and steal and cheat. I know you wanna 26:56 God's side just look up to the sky and 26:58 just curse God with a blue streak so just 27:00 take it easy. No that's not while we 27:03 become Christians, we become Christians 27:07 to take hold of the power greater than our own. 27:10 That he now works out his will in us and through us. 27:13 We submitted His will and as Jesus says not 27:15 my will but thy will be done and then the 27:17 strength that we don't have. Right. 27:19 Is the strength that we receive to live in harmony 27:21 with God's commandments. Yeah. 27:22 The benefit of the doubt, the only benefit of the 27:26 doubt this whole situation this question that was 27:30 sent in could be if the pastor is referring 27:32 to Romans Chapter 7. Okay. Which says in verse 18, 27:39 For I know that in me that is, in my flesh 27:42 nothing good dwells; for to will is present 27:45 with me, in other words I want him do good 27:47 but how to perform what was good I do not find. 27:50 Right. So you know, we in our own strengths. 27:54 Yes. In our own flesh, in our own power cannot 27:57 keep the law of God. That's right. If we are 28:00 corner we are sold to sin, we can't possibly 28:03 perform in its perfection. Right. But he goes on 28:07 and he says but I don't live under the law of sin, 28:10 I live under the law of grace or he says 28:13 under the law of spirit which is the spirit 28:17 that I walk in is the one that I actually gets me 28:19 to perform to keeping of the law. 28:21 So it's not I who do it any longer its Christ 28:24 who lives in me by His spirit that he is 28:27 performing the keeping of the commandments. 28:29 So now if that's the part. If that's what the pastor 28:32 is talking about we can agree to some degree 28:35 because I can't perform upto 100% degree 28:39 in my own flesh to keeping of the commandments. 28:42 Right. But through Christ I can do all things 28:46 who strengthens me. Right and you know the. 28:48 And so yeah. And you know the text Galatians 2:20 28:52 the key when the Christian comes to Christ 28:54 he is crucified. I am crucified with Christ, 28:58 nevertheless now in the real physical sense 29:00 I live yet not I but Christ lives in me, 29:03 in the life I now live in the flesh. 29:06 Live by faith. I live by faith in the son of God 29:08 who love me and gave me himself for me. 29:09 So it is no longer I who li live but Christ who lives 29:12 in me and so now the one who lives in 29:14 me is the one who is performing through me. 29:16 Right. These things in harmony with this world. 29:18 Just to through out in there. Oh! I got you. 29:20 In case the you know misunderstanding 29:22 came through. And truly there those who say 29:23 oh man I have to love that person, I know there 29:27 are people that struggle with that and there are 29:29 people that in lots of sense look at somebody 29:30 and say oh boy you know, they have these desires 29:35 and fantasies. That's the kind of world we live in 29:37 and they struggle with whether or not they 29:38 could live in harmony with God's commandments 29:41 in all particulars and they are those who 29:42 don't want to give God an honest tie and 29:44 so they steal. Well they put false information 29:47 on the tied envelope and ceremoniously pass it in. 29:50 when God knows that the struggle with stealing 29:53 and then those who just can't tell the truth 29:55 for no matter what. God knows they have 29:57 a problem with lying but he says if you take 29:59 hold of my grace you will see my grace is 30:01 sufficient for you in your weakness, 30:04 my strength is made perfect. Anyway, I think 30:07 we have to say segue into our topic I think 30:08 we need to do that. If you have any questions 30:10 about what we have talked about today, 30:11 you can send your questions and your 30:13 comments to housecalls@3abn.org 30:16 that's housecalls@3abn.org and we will try our best 30:21 by God's grace to give you an answer that's 30:23 in harmony with His scriptures. If we haven't, 30:26 well if you've heard something that doesn't 30:28 sound right or you wanna correct us. 30:29 We accept those things too, we are only human. 30:32 Thank you so much, now lets dive into the topic 30:35 on relationships, John every body wants good 30:39 relationship but I have discovered not everybody 30:40 has a good relationship. That's right. 30:42 You know we get questions on relationships 30:44 issue sometimes and we try to do our best to 30:47 answer those we have never done a program 30:49 on relationships but we know that the enemy 30:53 is working very hard because if we can destroy 30:55 a relationships in the family between a married 30:58 couple, between friendships that he can 31:02 ultimately destroy the relationship with God 31:04 as well well and it goes the reverse. 31:05 He destroys the relationship with God, 31:07 he can destroy a relationship with our 31:09 family, our friends and others. 31:10 So relationships are huge when it comes to 31:13 the Christian life. So how can we have a good 31:16 relationship, a healthy relationship not only with 31:18 God but with our spouses, with our friends. 31:25 How do we know how, you know what is the right 31:26 way to date. You know, how should we date, 31:29 you know I, you hear these battles daddy 31:33 when will you let me date, how old do I have 31:35 to be to date. Well, you know it's about the same 31:37 age for everybody but you know this is a big deal. 31:41 That's right. And you know, any father who 31:44 tell his little girl that's a big deal for her to 31:46 ask him that question. Let's say 35. 31:48 You know, the answer is always never you know 31:50 but yeah so let's talk about relationships 31:53 in the context of scripture and see 31:56 what's God plan is. What his design is for 31:58 healthy relationships, let's start with, let's go 32:01 back to the first relationship. I think that 32:04 if you think about a time before they were 32:06 grandmothers and grandfathers and 32:08 grandchildren and aunts and uncles and nieces 32:09 and nephews and extended family and 32:11 second, third cousins. Let's go back to how 32:14 God established it in the very beginning and 32:16 thus we dive into the book of Genesis, 32:19 going back to the very beginning and we see 32:21 God's greatest gift the husband and the wife. 32:25 We begin to see God putting together the 32:27 master plan which accomplishes a number of 32:30 things shows his relationships with us and 32:33 his church and it teaches us to grow in our 32:36 relationship with one and another. 32:38 Genesis chapter 2, Genesis chapter 2 and by the way 32:43 Genesis is the good place to begin is 32:44 book of beginnings. Genesis chapter 2, 32:50 look at the context of this we're going to look 32:56 at verse 24, well. Let's back up a little bit. 33:00 Yeah lets. Let's start with 21. 33:02 Let's start with 21 okay. Do I gonna read that? 33:06 Okay, you go right ahead. It's 21 on down from 33:09 Genesis 2 and the Lord God caused the deep 33:12 sleep to fall on Adam and he slept and he took 33:16 one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place. 33:19 And the rib which the Lord God had taken it 33:23 from the man he made into a woman 33:25 and he brought her to the man and Adam said 33:30 wow! I have written here mine my margin 33:33 and Adam said wow. But he is very true 33:37 I am sure Adam didn't say wow. 33:38 Because you know what John before you read 33:39 the text honestly friends when you are, 33:43 when you wake up in the morning and this is 33:45 something we would never even understand 33:47 the intensity of. Yeah. Because Adam looked 33:49 around on all the creation and saw no one for him. 33:52 That's right. And he probably thought there's 33:55 something missing. Everybody has, yeah, 33:59 something that fits, you know. And he is probably 34:01 saying hello, hello I've been searching for quiet 34:05 sometime Lord did you forget me and Lord says, 34:11 let's take a nap. Take a nap. 34:13 And he puts a divine rest on him and he wakes up 34:15 and he's got to begin by saying wow. Wow. 34:17 Okay go ahead. This is now Adam goes on to say, 34:22 this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my 34:25 flesh she shall be called woman because 34:29 she was taken out of man. Therefore a man 34:32 shall leave his father and mother and be joined 34:35 to his wife and they shall become one flesh. 34:38 In verse 25 key verse. And they were both 34:41 naked and man and his wife, the man and his wife 34:44 and were not ashamed. Isn't that amazing? 34:47 And let me just start up by saying this you know, 34:51 we live in a naked loving generation and when you 34:56 follow the story of the fall of man when Adam 34:57 and Eve fell into sin. The Bible also counters 35:01 this verse, verse 25 by saying and they were 35:04 both naked and they were ashamed, 35:07 they even said to God we were naked and we were 35:09 ashamed and therefore we hate ourselves. Right. 35:13 If we had never fall onto sin this nakedness 35:18 in the divine sense and by the way. 35:19 What it means by that isn't it have on physical 35:22 clothing but they were covered by the 35:23 glory of God. Right. Okay, they weren't like 35:26 walking around like some nudist colony, that's not 35:28 the way God is. Even the pictures to pick them, 35:30 right, don't have the real total concept to 35:34 what they, what they look like. Right they were 35:35 covered inthe glory of God. We're not gonna be 35:38 wearing white robes that have to be dry 35:40 cleaned in heaven that's the righteousness of God 35:43 that we're gonna be covered in. As they were 35:45 in the very beginning but you find here that the 35:48 Lord said this is beautiful and there was, 35:50 he said I have a wife, she said I have a husband 35:54 and amazingly how God even outlined a plan. 35:59 Because keep this in mind they were no 36:02 father and mother for Adam to lead, right, 36:05 but he said this is how it's going to. 36:06 He was setting forth the principles. 36:07 Setting forth the principles. You know, 36:08 I have to tell this story, Rochelle who is 36:12 taught for you know, 11 or 12 years in the 36:16 elementary school system, she had the story that 36:19 she relayed this is one young man that was in 36:22 sixth grade and he didn't. He just didn't want to 36:25 go to heaven and she couldn't figure out 36:27 why she didn't want to go to heaven. 36:30 And he was a good kid, I mean this kid 36:32 he loved Jesus, he loved I mean his relationship, 36:36 he prayed, he treated his friends nice, 36:39 his family, honored his parents but he would just 36:42 get really nervous when ever they talk about 36:44 heaven, he didn't wanna go. And so finally 36:46 she asked him directly, why don't you want to 36:50 go to heaven? And then she kick him up 36:54 to her after school one day and he said because 36:57 I don't want to be naked there in front of 36:59 everybody. That was the reason. Unbelievable. 37:02 He was so fearful of being naked, of being 37:06 seen naked. Because he saw this. 37:07 Of course he is sixth grade, that is a fear 37:08 you know. Yeah. But he did really grew on his 37:11 mind the thought that he would have to be 37:13 naked like Adam and Eve were naked. 37:14 Well she explained to him that no one's gonna 37:17 see him in the way that he gets naked here on 37:20 this earth. This is a totally different thing 37:22 that God is talking about and he was very 37:24 relieved and then from then on you know, 37:26 he got to talk about heaven and he wanted to go there. 37:28 I had to say that because it's very true, 37:30 we have lost the glory of God. 37:33 That's the best of all that we experienced. 37:35 Roman's 3:23. God's glory. For all have 37:37 sinned, and come short of the glory of God. 37:39 And that part of the glory was just the way 37:41 that we glowed, you know. Like we just 37:47 exuded righteousness and there was a natural glow 37:51 to that and we just don't have that anymore 37:54 and but we do have one thing and this is 37:56 where I am going. We have one thing 37:57 that is meant to share the glory of God 37:59 and that is husband and wife. 38:03 Is it any wonder why the devil is trying 38:06 so hard to attack marriage, when it's the 38:09 first and greatest gift that God beyond 38:12 life that God gave to man was a relationship 38:16 with his wife. As a matter of fact when you 38:18 follow that so wonderfully said there is no 38:22 heaven on earth like a marriage could be 38:26 but there is also no hell on earth like a 38:29 marriage that's not working right can be. 38:32 Right it's the both. When you couldn't get 38:33 literally both experiences intensely, 38:37 if there is a problem in the home, 38:39 as a matter of fact you know one of the first 38:40 things that the Lord did and this is a principle 38:42 I like to start up with one of the first things 38:44 he did in order for Adam and Eve to begin 38:47 that he established a home for them. 38:50 He gave them the Garden of Eden and I think 38:52 John one of the first things that we should do 38:53 when Jesus talks about a man leaving his father 38:56 and mother clinging to his wife. 38:58 You notice he doesn't say a wife leaving her 38:59 father and mother clinging at her husband. 39:01 He is not saying that the wife brings the 39:03 parents with them but he in essence saying 39:05 the one that sometimes has the hardest time of 39:07 breaking away may be is the son that's the 39:11 part of the influence. But. But the other thing 39:14 it does tell us John don't miss this part. Okay. 39:16 Is that the man pursuits, think about it? 39:20 Very good point. Because today, in today's 39:22 society things have become so secured and so 39:26 backward that we have women pursuing men. 39:30 Right. And I will tell you it's an uncomfortable 39:33 thing for even young men because we are talking 39:37 about relationships all through this in there, 39:38 there was a coach who was coaching his men 39:40 soccer team and he really had never seen 39:43 this so blatantly, but there was a talking to the 39:45 guys after practice, they were sitting there 39:47 about some of the things that they were trying to 39:48 do for their team to organize place and so 39:51 forth and it was wrapping up and there was a 39:54 children squad that was near by. 39:56 They came walking back and were heading back 39:59 towards the schools, the men were being dismissed 40:00 and the girls this coach couldn't believe 40:03 how direct and forward these girls were being 40:07 with regard to the men and as he observed the 40:09 men, the boys. He saw they were so 40:13 uncomfortable that they just didn't know 40:18 how to respond to a degree and what he told 40:22 him was is that this society has become so 40:24 backward that women are now pursuing men 40:28 to the degree that never designed by God 40:31 from the beginning. Yeah. It was always 40:33 designed the man would look for his wife 40:36 find her and then would they create a life 40:39 together. The woman wasn't out leaving her 40:42 family looking for spouse. Right. 40:45 Man was looking for her. That's right in some 40:47 countries this concept of arranged marriage 40:52 was something so secret to that society because 40:55 they wanted to make sure that they maintain 40:56 the integrity of the family and having their wife, 40:59 having the daughter being labeled as she is 41:02 out looking for man. Yeah, she is disgracing 41:04 the family some how to do that. 41:05 And you know that's the beauty so many 41:08 doors could be opened there but one of the 41:10 first things that the Lord did was He established 41:11 a home for Adam and Eve and truly establishing 41:16 a home for husband and wife is one of the 41:18 first things that God ordained for us to do 41:20 to be able to have a relationship that gets off 41:25 to the right start not may be an apartment, 41:27 you know may be a small place, it could be a 41:29 huge mansion or anything in between but 41:32 I think the song I had some idea of that concept 41:36 when it says God bless the child who has his home. 41:38 Yeah, and it does really make a difference. 41:40 Now what are some of the foundations that 41:43 we can lay the principle obviously we talked 41:47 about that the man will leave his father and 41:50 mother and cling to his wife, but what are 41:52 some other principles then we can go through 41:54 as they try to establish or begin the courtship 41:57 process and establish a relationship that becomes 42:01 healthy so they're not just clinging to each 42:03 other desperate to just survive but it flourishes. 42:06 You know a relationship in marriage that flourishes, 42:08 no one wants just a marriage, they want a 42:10 great marriage. Right. And there are lot of 42:13 bad marriages, so what do we need to look 42:15 for when we're out there or for young people 42:19 that are out there that want a great marriage. 42:22 You know, relationships have so many different 42:24 categories and I just include this on this 42:27 program I don't talk about it a lot but 42:29 I have been a marriage counselor for more than 42:31 20 years now and I have counseled with couples 42:34 that had all kinds of various challenges and 42:36 very few people are aware of the fact that 42:39 marriages have a lot more to do with then just 42:41 religious convictions because they are people 42:44 that can be of the same religious persuasion 42:46 but be so unequal in their concept of how to 42:49 spend money, in their concept of conflict 42:51 resolution and their concept of communication 42:54 and financial management and their concept of 42:56 how to raise children and many of us are our 43:01 view points are developed first of all 43:03 from our parents. What we see. 43:05 Now praise God if you come from a home 43:06 where you have a mom and dad that stay together 43:08 all their lives you can get the picture of that 43:11 no matter what they went through, 43:13 they made it through and they lived 35 years, 43:15 40 years together but then on the flip side of 43:17 that you come from some homes where the mother 43:20 was either left or the father was not there. 43:23 It's a single parent home and many women today 43:26 are the mother and the father of the household. 43:29 So all those concept to shape, all those the way 43:32 we do house, the way that we do family is often 43:35 shaped by what we see and that's the sad reality. 43:38 Yeah. So I always say that's why in our church 43:41 and you know this John as Seventh-day Adventist 43:44 Pastors we are counseled not to marry anyone 43:47 unless we put them through counseling 43:51 because the concept you know, the feeling 43:54 when you first meet the person you are just 43:55 head over the heels are and we call that, 43:58 we call that, I am using a phrase here that's 44:02 kind, we call that over loaded infatuation. 44:06 Because we really haven't gone to the 44:08 place of love. You know that's a good word 44:09 that you bring up because we have to talk about it, 44:13 infatuation. Yeah. Infatuation is a strong 44:15 emotion. Yeah. It's a driving emotion, 44:18 it really is something that goes beyond 44:22 the way you think. Right. It is an emotional thing 44:26 it turns all the senses, you know just on 44:29 their ends and so you know I think one of the 44:32 first things when we're looking at maybe 44:34 wanting to have a wife or a husband is that 44:38 we got to be careful to know what infatuation 44:40 is and the difference between that and love. 44:42 Right. Because infatuation is more about feeling. 44:46 Right. And following those feelings where love is 44:49 more about the mind. Right, you're thinking 44:51 with your eyes. Right, right, and so talk about 44:54 some of the differences between you know love, 44:56 true love and infatuation I know that 44:58 there is a book that was out Gary Smalley 45:00 years ago, one of the first ones Love is a decision. 45:03 Right. And a very good book talking about 45:05 when you commit to love somebody, 45:07 you're committing to love not the way they 45:09 look but love them in every aspect and that's 45:12 why I think you do counseling because 45:13 you're trying to help them come together to love 45:17 on different levels than just may be how they 45:19 look or how they feel when they are together. 45:22 Relationships are like if you think of, 45:26 you know those snaps that you put together, 45:29 they look like snap. There is a young man 45:33 who was just telling me this few days ago 45:35 they had a pup tent, those military tents 45:38 that one soldier carries the one half 45:40 and the other soldier carries the other half 45:42 and in order to use it they have to snap it 45:44 together. Okay, well those snaps represents 45:48 a strong points or weak points in a relationship. 45:51 If a snap is not working then that's a weak point. 45:54 That tent is not going to beheld together and so 45:56 in all those particular areas, yes religious views 45:59 being a very strong one but not te only one 46:02 but you can't leave that one out you have these 46:04 necessities if you leave out God in a relationship 46:08 how can a marriage be held together without God 46:13 when God is the one who ordained marriage. 46:15 You see, so to say that I have a great marriage 46:18 but I am not a Christian. It's almost to live 46:20 in an area where your marriage is being 46:22 held together by materialism or by 46:25 corner things and then as time goes on you begin 46:27 to see as you get older. How futile it was 46:30 and how much obvious things now really haven't 46:32 brought lasting blessings but the beauty of a 46:35 Christian is we can get older and gravity starts 46:37 taking over you know, we start looking different, 46:40 we hear less, we need better glasses. 46:42 You know, all those muscles now started 46:44 turning into flab and this is just terrible reality 46:48 of life but to get to that 50th anniversary of God 46:52 gives you that many years together and then 46:54 you just start so deeply in love with each other 46:57 that you have something that you know, 46:58 you look forward to the Lord coming that can 47:00 continue in heaven. You know what, the question 47:02 is asked, can you marry your best friend 47:06 and be happy, have a successful marriage. 47:09 You know, is that possible or you know, 47:13 how do you blend the infatuation with a love 47:16 because there's got to be some affection I mean 47:18 you've got to have someone has to be attractive. 47:19 Right. You know, so there is God to have 47:21 kind of both of these things but I think God 47:24 created emotions but he also created our mind 47:27 to think with. And so it seems like there's got 47:30 to be a blending of both. Alright. 47:32 Okay, so I am attracted to this person, 47:34 I have feelings for this person, I would like to 47:36 I love it when we touch, when we hold hands 47:39 but now I've got to think is this kind of, 47:41 is this a person that I want to spend my life 47:43 with that I can spend my life with. 47:45 How do they think, how do they believe when 47:48 it comes to their spiritual life, you know. 47:50 They believe in God the way that I do, 47:52 do they spend money or think of money 47:56 in the same way or they. If they're the spender 47:58 and I believe in saving constantly. 48:00 There's going to be a level of frustration that 48:02 goes on in that family. Yeah, you have to have 48:03 views. And so there is different kinds of things, 48:06 culture comes into it. You know where someone's 48:08 culture we have these male older brides. 48:11 We heard of that before where you know here are 48:13 some people available from another country 48:15 and so some will go over and marry someone without 48:17 even meeting them expecting just to put 48:19 together marriage which I think is it's can be a 48:21 recipe can be a recipe for disaster. 48:24 I heard somebody once saying about those 48:25 male older brides that don't worry you will 48:27 learn to love him, don't worry you will learn to 48:29 love her but let's go ahead and combine with 48:33 what I think he interpreted, here is the 48:34 word infatuation. Let's talk about that as the 48:36 spark. Yeah. The thing that kind of says. 48:38 Affection. The affection like you see a man or 48:41 you see a woman, you say the young lady 48:43 will say wow he is so attractive and the 48:46 young man will say wow she is so pretty 48:48 and you know, the way she does her hair, 48:50 her perfume and all that and you know everything 48:52 about her just really makes this young man 48:54 excited or makes this young woman excited. 48:57 Well, think of a relationship like you 48:58 would a very huge candle or what, 49:02 look at that I just happened to have a candle 49:04 right next to me. Okay, now look at that wick. 49:07 You can't really see up but that wick is so small 49:10 compared to the candle itself. Let's think of this, 49:15 I see here oh that gets my fire going see that 49:19 wick starts if there is no fire the candle cannot 49:23 do what it's design to do. You see, 49:26 the candle pats the wick so that it doesn't burn 49:30 out that's the real purpose of this wax. 49:33 It pads the wick so that it doesn't burn out. 49:36 It slow burns so let's look at this candle as a 49:39 thirty year relationship. God gives them thirty 49:42 years together, you know one spouse passes away, 49:44 the other does and if you didn't have the patting of 49:47 love and commitment that's solid then this 49:52 flimsy wick will get started and burn out 49:54 in the matter of seconds. Yeah. 49:56 And so lot of people if you think that all 49:58 that relationship is getting it started, 50:01 then you fail to realize that the principles of 50:03 Godly love and commitment and supporting 50:06 each other and loving each other and all those 50:09 views that I talked about which don't have 50:10 all the time to do now which I'd love to do, 50:12 you know bring these principles out in the 50:14 following program. When you establish something 50:17 that spot gets going but you know it 50:19 only takes its spot to get a fire going 50:20 and if nothing is patting that it will burn up 50:22 all you have in matter of time and that's 50:25 the problem with our world today. 50:26 No commitment at the other areas. 50:28 It get started quickly and ends quickly. 50:30 I think most successful marriages, marriages 50:33 that stay that the love really continues to 50:35 burn throughout their life especially when they 50:37 get older, if you ask them about what made 50:39 their marriages success, can you talk a little bit 50:41 about how their marriage began. 50:43 I think All of them will follow very similar 50:46 lines of thought which is this, you know 50:48 that the foundation that's around that wick 50:50 but the wick's you know it's first lighted 50:53 and that's what comes first. The affection, 50:55 the emotions but as those as that wick 50:58 began to burn, you had everything around it. 51:01 The foundation, the stuff that you had that 51:03 created a mind to love someone and 51:06 commit to somebody. You had there that was 51:08 part of it, I've heard over and over again 51:11 John that in this is from various, you know 51:14 various relationships that passion that they 51:19 had when they got married is gone. 51:23 So therefore they need a divorce. Yeah some people 51:26 say it often. So I just don't feel, 51:28 I am not in love with him anymore, 51:30 what they're really talking about is not love, 51:32 they are talking about infatuation. Right. 51:34 I am not infatuated with this one anymore 51:36 so I don't feel the love and that's usually 51:39 comes as a result of no foundation, 51:41 no true understanding of what a marriage is 51:45 built on. And so, so many today and you see 51:49 in the tabloids are getting married because 51:50 so and so looks good. Right. Feel good, 51:54 they smell good, all those, the senses rather 51:56 than putting other things together that, 51:59 that will make that relationship last for a 52:01 long, long time. One of the principles I like to 52:04 put in that is first of all when you get a 52:05 marriage going, when you get started remember 52:07 that, let me just read Matthew 19 and the verse 5 52:12 here says for this reason a man shall leave 52:16 his father and mother and be joined to his wife 52:18 and the two shall become one flesh. 52:21 So then they are no longer two but one 52:25 therefore what God has joined together let no 52:27 man separate or put this under as the 52:30 King James Version says. First of all we have 52:32 to ask God is he the one putting us together? 52:38 Lot of people don't pray, they you know 52:40 go on emotion and hormones and some people 52:43 get married because they think we could do really 52:45 well, you have a great salary, 52:46 I have a great salary. We get good house, 52:48 when all those ethereal things evaporate in the 52:51 flame of trials then you think as one person 52:55 says or one man said to his wife I don't know 52:58 why you are not happy, I buy everything 53:00 you ask for. Well if marriage was put 53:02 together by money then she has no reason to 53:06 complain another one she says well I don't know 53:09 why he is unhappy. I cook for him everyday, 53:11 well if food was the only reason for marriage 53:13 then go to the food store, don't do the 53:16 expensive mistake of marrying a woman 53:17 just for food. You see, so its not that, 53:20 it has to be God has to be at the center of 53:22 their relationship and if you are not growing 53:24 in Christ then all those things are just air 53:27 marks that are like you know, that it's kind of 53:30 like the tape on a CD when you buy, 53:32 you just rip it off and you discard it. Right. 53:35 And what do you like the music or not is 53:37 left to be seen. Yeah. Because you are not 53:39 committed to the product. And other thing too 53:41 is that I think many see marriage as I have 53:43 achieved rather than marriage being the 53:45 beginning of the journey. There you go, 53:46 very good point. Marriage is the beginning 53:48 of the journey when you are finally after 53:50 courtship after showing and sharing your thoughts 53:54 about wanting to live together forever. 53:56 Once you finally actually commit to each other 53:58 in a marriage ceremony and you go home to live 54:01 that is the beginning of the journey and you 54:03 courtship cannot stop then. You've got to 54:06 continue do the things that you had done 54:09 initially for each other to win each other's 54:12 affections and confidence and love. 54:15 And I think so many times John we have 54:17 seen that marriages are falling apart 54:20 and they are fighting and so forth they have 54:22 lost that courtship. They have lost that 54:24 journey perspective of their marriage and 54:28 those those things that they had done 54:29 before marriage to win someone just aren't 54:33 there anymore they are not doing those things 54:34 and things just fall apart. Yeah people tend to 54:37 start things and don't commit to a 54:39 particular goal. Let's use a journey, 54:41 like the illustration of a journey, when my wife 54:44 and I drove from Orlando, Florida to 54:46 Nothern California for the first time, 54:49 we had never done that before, we had no idea 54:52 what we were up against. We did not know 54:54 that the temperature in the high desert of Texas 54:57 was gonna be very cold but in the lower 54:59 desert of Texas very hot. We didn't understand 55:02 what it meant to drive up the great wine in 55:05 California, you know about the great wine. 55:07 And understand there was packed vehicle and the 55:09 air conditioning, you can over heat. 55:12 We did not know we wanna go through it 55:14 was that part of desert in South desert 55:17 highway 10 like, yeah, you know where the 55:20 sign says turn your air condition off, 55:22 you will over heat. Yeah. You know that was 55:25 older car, nowadays much better and so we 55:27 didn't know that we would face cold nights, 55:30 hot days. We did not know that we would be 55:33 facing adverse circumstances and the 55:35 joke of the the whole thing is when we began 55:38 before we left Florida and as we stepped in a 55:41 whole nest of ants. Her foot was covered with 55:44 ants, so some journey is don't always begin 55:46 the best but we made it by God's grace 55:49 and you know the key I would like to add 55:50 this because our program is coming to an end. 55:52 We gonna lay some foundation and thankfully 55:54 we're gonna cover some more detail scriptures. 55:56 Yeah. In the next program but it says 55:58 Philippians 4:6 here's one of the things. 56:01 Be anxious for nothing, plan out your journey 56:06 don't just be googly eyes and goblin gook 56:08 and say I love her, she loves me, I am happy. 56:11 Our love will keep us together. Our love will 56:13 keep us good. Well, those bills show up 56:15 you can send a love note in the mail. 56:17 And you when you woke up, when you wake up 56:20 together and you look over each other for the 56:24 500th time. That's right. That emotion, 56:28 that passion, that wow, I am sorry it's gonna 56:32 go away. It's gonna break because you 56:34 gonna say it's the same person. 56:35 So you have to have more than just these 56:37 external things. Your love goes much deeper, 56:39 yes. Be anxious for nothing Philippians 4:6 56:41 but in everything by prayer and supplication 56:44 with thanksgiving let your request be made 56:47 known to God and the peace of God which 56:49 surpasses all understanding, will guard 56:51 your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus 56:56 that's the way you begin a relationship. 56:57 Pray a lot, ladies, pray a lot, young men pray 56:59 a lot don't rush. Yeah when they can pray 57:02 Lord if this is meant to be then Lord I am 57:05 with you on the ride but if it's not 57:07 then end it, when you can pray if it's not 57:10 end it and give God permission then I'd 57:13 say say you will be getting to open up 57:14 your mind to what God want you to give 57:15 in a marriage. It's better to cry now then to 57:17 cry later. Cry now and get over it but 57:20 you'll be sorry if you way to years down 57:22 the road to cry. So anyway as you know 57:25 we believe that the commitment that you 57:26 make in Christ is what makes the difference. 57:28 So commit your life to Lord Jesus Christ 57:30 today and have a great day in Him. |
Revised 2014-12-17