Participants: Pr. John Lomacang (Host), Pr. John Stanton
Series Code: HCL
Program Code: HCL090012
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00:01 Hello friends, grab your Bible and a friend
00:03 and sit back as we explore God's word 00:05 together on this addition of House Calls. 00:23 Welcome to the best hour in the world 00:25 at least I believe that, this is House Calls 00:28 and thank you for tuning in. 00:29 I'm happy and I know that John is happy 00:32 and it's good to not be here by myself. 00:34 How are you doing John? 00:35 Hey it's great to be here, 00:36 with this wonderful hour of programming 00:39 where we can just study the Bible, 00:40 isn't that great? You know, if I don't believe 00:42 and if we were not convinced that this is 00:44 the best hour right now we wouldn't 00:46 be sitting here. That's right. 00:47 We would be somewhere where it is the best hour. 00:49 That's right. And so friends you wanna tune 00:50 in by hitting that record button, 00:53 invite your family and friends to sit down 00:55 because when we get into the Bible we always 00:57 believe that the spirit of God has something 00:59 important to tell you and that's why we are 01:02 sitting here asking the Lord to flow through us 01:04 but before we do anything else 01:06 we are gonna go to the Lord in prayer. 01:07 So John, would you do it for us? 01:09 Let's bow our heads. Father in heaven, 01:11 it's so good again to be able to come 01:13 before you and opening your word, 01:15 the word that you given to each and 01:17 everyone of us to live by. 01:18 And so Father we just pray that you would 01:20 be here to inhabit us to inhabit your people 01:23 that as our hearts are opened to receive 01:25 that word from you Lord that we can 01:27 receive it with understanding 01:28 with knowledge and wisdom we thank you 01:31 Lord for spending this special time with us 01:33 send your spirit and guide us in 01:35 Jesus name, amen, amen. 01:37 Well friends, as you know this program 01:39 is not only fun to do but what makes it 01:42 fun is your questions? It's amazing what 01:44 sometimes people ask us, but don't let that 01:46 discourage you. If you have any questions 01:49 just send to us during this program or even 01:50 afterwards send them to housecalls@3abn.org, 01:54 that's housecalls @3abn.org. 01:57 And enhance our program by the things 01:59 that may across your plate or maybe in the 02:01 back of your mind and there is never 02:03 a dumb question. Remember that if 02:05 it's about God's word, it's always a question 02:07 that needs to be answered. 02:08 And so today we're gonna begin with the 02:11 first question, what do you have for us John? 02:13 John, I've got a question from David 02:14 and it's a question that also has been 02:17 asked quite a few times and we're even answered 02:20 it once before. Alright. But it says, 02:22 the subject heading says does God promote 02:25 idol worship? Well we know that, 02:28 the answer to that a quick answer is no. 02:30 Right. But the question gets 02:32 into what some people will call it an apparent 02:35 contradiction, but it's not really at all 02:36 as we study a little deeper. 02:39 He says here in Exodus 20 verse 4 02:41 God says that we should not make any 02:43 graven images. Then God and by the way 02:46 that's the second commandment, 02:47 then God contradicts himself supposedly 02:51 and demands that the children of Israel 02:53 make graven images of Cherubims. 02:55 In First Kings 7:36 and Second Chronicles 3 02:58 verse 7. Why did God want the children of 03:01 Israel to violate his command in Exodus 03:04 20 verse 4. First of all, the God that I serve, 03:09 John the God that you serve doesn't 03:11 contradict himself. Right. In fact Jesus 03:13 is the same yesterday, today and forever. 03:15 What He says He cannot lie, He cannot 03:17 go back on His word, well, and He won't 03:19 go back on His word. So if He is giving 03:22 a command, that command will stand 03:23 fast forever. And the second commandment, 03:26 and let's read that, found in Exodus 20:4. 03:30 The Second Commandment 03:31 is a command not to make any graven images. 03:35 But there is more to that command 03:37 and we need to read a little bit further 03:39 to understand the full import of what 03:41 is being said here. So lets read verse 4 03:44 of Exodus chapter 20, Ye shalt not make 03:47 for yourself a carved image, any likeness 03:50 of any thing that is in heaven above, 03:52 or that is in the earth beneath, 03:54 or that is in the water under the earth. 03:56 Ye shalt not bow down to them, nor serve them: 03:59 for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, 04:02 visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the 04:04 children to the third and the fourth 04:06 generations of those who hate me. 04:08 Right. Now upon reading that command, 04:13 we can make some assumptions, 04:16 we can arrive at some conclusions, 04:18 we can do a lot without going through 04:21 the rest of the Bible but I think that the 04:23 rest of the Bible is there, 04:25 what the people did, how God responded, 04:28 how God worked out the principle here 04:31 in the practices of his people to find out 04:35 what he was meaning here. 04:36 And the first thing that jumps out of me 04:38 here with this specific command, 04:40 the second commandment is that the word there, 04:45 'carved images' translated as carved 04:48 images in the King James, in the 04:50 New King James version is translated 04:52 many other times in other translations 04:54 as idols. Don't make any idols and so that 04:58 concept here is an idol or an image, 05:02 something carved for the sake of worship. 05:05 And it goes on to tell us exactly that 05:07 verse 5 talks about not bowing down to them, 05:10 not serving them, not worshiping them. 05:12 That was the issue that God had when 05:15 He said don't make any idols, right, 05:18 because He didn't want them worshiping them 05:19 or bowing down to them. Now if you read the 05:23 couple of scriptures that are referenced 05:24 to here First Kings 7:36 and Second Chronicles 05:27 3 verse 7 specifically Second Chronicles 05:30 talks about Solomon's Temple being built 05:32 and how there were some carvings there 05:34 made in that temple carvings of cherubim 05:36 and other things. Those carvings 05:39 were not made for the principle of worship. 05:42 People weren't bowing down to them, 05:43 they weren't worshiping them as other Gods. 05:45 So there was no command broken 05:49 in the creation or the adorning of the 05:55 house of worship with these things. Right. 05:57 And the reason these things are there 05:58 John is because there were reminders of those 06:02 who were there, of the presence of those 06:05 who were with them to a great degree 06:09 as we know the angels that the cherubim 06:12 that are covering the Ten Commandments. 06:14 The cherubim that were carved in there 06:16 were reminders of that most holy place, 06:19 and the holiness of God's presence that was there. 06:21 Right. But they weren't a reminder when they 06:24 saw them to bow down and worship them. 06:26 And clearly in these texts, both of the 06:28 contexts of these scriptures where these, 06:31 some of them were actually things carved 06:35 not so much carved but they were created 06:37 or cut out of gold and they were actually 06:40 sewn into some of the curtains and the tents, 06:43 the movable tent and then of course in 06:45 Solomon's Temple there were actually 06:46 part of the carvings of the temple itself. 06:48 But those things in no way were ever endorsed, 06:53 were worshiped so to speak. 06:55 We do see in every case where God was 06:59 calling their worship an abomination to Him. 07:01 Right. We saw in the pictures of the high 07:04 places in the idols that were kept in the tents 07:06 that were from the people that were 07:08 surrounding them and the other nations 07:10 those were carved idols and images 07:12 but they were worshiping as Gods. 07:14 That's right. And that is the principle really 07:18 that is being taught here in the 07:19 Second Commandment. You know some have 07:21 said well why do you have pictures on 07:23 your wall of Jesus. You know what, 07:25 those are reminders of the fact that God 07:29 is with us but we don't bow down to them, 07:31 we don't worship them as some sacred artifact 07:33 or article. At least that we as a 07:36 Seventh-day Adventist church those in this 07:38 church do not. Now we know that there are 07:39 some denominations that do you have carved 07:42 images that they do bow down before 07:44 and they do worship in front of them that 07:46 is something that I believe the Second 07:48 Command does speak against. 07:51 But with regard to this denomination 07:54 the Seventh-day Adventist Church myself 07:56 is a Pastor John I know you, we don't have 07:58 idol worship going on within our 08:00 church services. Right. And we don't believe 08:01 in anywhere in the Bible that it endorses that. 08:04 No, we don't. As a matter of fact you 08:06 find also in scripture one, when the children 08:09 of Israel were traveling through the wilderness, 08:12 the Lord told them to hold up a brazen serpent, 08:16 right. And when they look to the serpent 08:18 they will live, now you would think, 08:21 is the Lord saying them to worship that serpent, 08:23 He is saying by obedience look to it, 08:26 well as that serpent, the Lord know in that 08:29 particular context that serpent was a 08:31 representation of the God who heals. 08:33 Yes. And but then you also find that the 08:36 Bible speaks of Satan as the serpent of old 08:39 called the devil and Satan. 08:41 And one of the reasons, and this is my own, 08:44 this is my own deduction I have 08:46 no proof for this yet but I believe 08:48 that one of the reasons why Satan 08:49 chose to inhabit the serpent is because 08:55 he wanted to use a symbol that would be 08:57 associated before sin to the power of God. 09:01 So why would God use that serpent to 09:03 say look to it, this brazen serpent look 09:05 to it and you will be healed. 09:07 But getting back to the context of image 09:10 worship or not, God knows the hearts of 09:14 men and he knows that we are prone to 09:17 put things before him. So when it talked about 09:20 graven images, it really meant carved images 09:23 and Isaiah talked about, they have eyes 09:25 but they cannot see, they've ears but they 09:26 cannot hear, they've hands but they cannot touch. 09:28 Right. So the Lord was in essence trying to root 09:30 out false worship and putting nothing between 09:33 man and God. And so but know the God does 09:36 not support idolatry. Matter of fact we call 09:39 it Solomon's temple but it was intended 09:41 to be the Lord's temple, one of the 09:43 most ornate most beautifully designed, 09:46 most luxurious temples ever built in antiquity. 09:50 That's right. But it was to represent 09:52 that supreme and the dignity of God 09:54 and the majesty of his Kingship and John not 09:57 too long ago I came back from England 09:59 and I went to the houses of Parliament 10:01 and Buckingham Palace, and if you see the 10:04 ornate beauty that is a representation 10:08 of these monarchs and Kings, 10:10 you think do we put together anything 10:13 more beautiful than that to represent God 10:15 and the answer is yes. But do we worship it? 10:18 The answer is no. Right. And the other thing 10:21 we got to be careful of too is, do not give 10:23 something any kind of thought that 10:26 it's infused with the holiness of God itself. 10:29 That's right. You know one of the things that 10:31 I can think of is that you know some that 10:34 hold very sacred and dear, whether it be 10:37 some Marian apparition or what some picture 10:40 on a wall or something that appears to some. 10:42 You know they give it almost a level of 10:45 sacredness or holiness, the artifact itself 10:48 or whatever it is that was carved 10:50 or now is on the wall. And they come there 10:53 to worship it, as if that thing there has 10:56 some kind of substance that might impart 10:59 to them a blessing. That's right. 11:02 And so that is something that we have to be 11:04 very careful, we don't do thinking that 11:06 somehow these things are holy and that 11:09 they are going to impart to us some 11:11 spiritual benefit. That's right. 11:13 I appreciate that John because 11:14 you know a lot of times people think 11:16 of worshiping God and worshiping relics 11:21 as the same thing. We're not to bow 11:24 down to relics, we're not to put them 11:25 in place of God or to look to them as though 11:28 they are God, right, it's very important. 11:30 Thank you for bringing that out. 11:32 I have a question here let me go to it here, 11:34 I've my multiple windows on my computer. 11:38 Thank you so much for the email by the way 11:40 and I'm glad this person sent this email. 11:44 It may sound like to some of you that the 11:46 person is nitpicking but they're not, 11:48 but I think the point that is going to come 11:51 out as a result of this email opens a few other 11:54 doors of understanding. I'm writing because 11:57 John Lomacang went beyond truth 11:59 when he said only Jesus has immortality. 12:03 The Father and the Holy Spirit have immortality 12:08 and the angels also have continual immortality. 12:11 Okay. Now watch this, the reference 12:16 I was making there was man does not 12:18 have immortality when it comes to putting 12:21 on immortality, it's something we're going 12:23 to put on when Jesus comes. 12:25 But I want to read if you passages that 12:27 when I said only Jesus has immortality 12:30 I can't assume that people will associate 12:33 the Father and Son and the Holy Spirit together. 12:36 That's something that clearly is my association. 12:39 Yeah. Because the Bible doesn't use the word 12:41 Jesus there but we do know that Jesus 12:43 has immortality. And let me read the 12:46 passage for you that this reference came from, 12:50 First Timothy 6 verse 15 and verse 16 12:54 and the Bible says which in times he will 12:57 show who was the blessed and only 13:00 potentate the King of Kings and Lord of Lords 13:05 who only has immortality. 13:08 Dwelling in the light which no man can 13:11 approach unto whom no man hath seen 13:15 nor can see, to him be honor and power 13:18 everlasting. Now that reference 13:20 John is referring to not only Jesus but that's 13:23 referring to the Father, because no man hath 13:25 seen the Father. Right. But have men seen Jesus. 13:28 Sure. Okay. In this references referring 13:31 to the Father as the only potentate, 13:33 the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, 13:36 who no man has seen nor can see. 13:41 And when Jesus appeared on the earth 13:43 He says if you have seen me you have 13:45 seen the Father. Right. But now what I want 13:48 to show you is the same description 13:50 that is associated with the Father is associated 13:53 with the Son. Listen to this, King of Kings 13:56 and Lord of Lords, now this is Revelation 17 13:58 verse 14 and 15 speaking about the Lamb, 14:01 the Lamb is Jesus. These shall make war 14:05 with the Lamb, and the Lamb will overcome them: 14:07 for He is King of Kings and Lord of Lords. 14:11 So the Father is referred to as King of Kings 14:13 and Lord of Lords who only has immortality, 14:16 right. The Son is referred to as 14:17 King of Kings and Lord of Lords who 14:20 only has immortality. So when I make the 14:23 reference only Jesus has immortality 14:25 I'm not separating him from the Father. 14:27 Right. Okay. That's the one point 14:29 I want to make but if I made it appears 14:32 though I was separating him I do apologize 14:35 but yes the assumption is clear when you speak 14:38 of divinity the Father, 14:39 the Son and the Holy Spirit have immortality. 14:42 But let me also add a point here, 14:45 the only continual immortality that 14:48 the angels have is because is granted 14:50 to them by the Father. They don't have 14:51 inherent immortality, they were not 14:54 created immortally. If they were then 14:57 the Lord will never be able to destroy the devil 14:59 and his angels because he cannot destroy 15:00 that which has immortality. 15:02 Right. Okay. Good point, good point. 15:05 This question here, it's from, 15:08 it doesn't actually have a name but it's regarding 15:12 the several times the command or at least 15:16 the teaching in The Epistle of John 15:20 and it's in reference to those who show 15:23 love but aren't Christian. 15:26 And they are saying here regarding 15:30 the verse that love is born of God 15:33 and those who love know God, 15:36 a lot of people show that they are not 15:39 Christians so what does this verse mean 15:42 because they show love yet they 15:44 don't follow Christ. Okay, okay. 15:47 And so let's go to the chapter the book 15:51 that we're talking about here First John, 15:53 okay, beginning with chapter 4 and we'll start 15:57 with verse 7. It's not the first reference 16:02 I'll give several other references to at least, 16:04 okay, something close to that with in this book. 16:09 Verse 7, Beloved, let us love one another, 16:12 for love is of God; and everyone who 16:15 loves is born of God, and knows God. 16:19 Okay. There are some other references here, 16:22 let me give you couple others just you can 16:24 take these down if you want First John 3:9, 16:27 First John 5:1, 5:4 and 5:18, 16:30 all of them have some variation 16:32 of that teaching. So another question 16:35 is what does it mean by love, 16:38 because if I were just to leave this text, 16:40 read this text isolated I would say that 16:43 anyone that is showing love in anyway 16:47 is born of God and knows God. 16:50 But we do know that there are many 16:52 who do not believe in God, 16:54 who shows love that are not born 16:56 of God as well. And so what is this mean? 16:59 Well let me say this, this verse is not 17:01 intended to be an all encompassing qualifier 17:05 for those who are believers in God. 17:08 Another words it's not saying that because 17:10 you show love that therefore you 17:14 are a believer in God, you are a follower of 17:15 Christ all those things, 17:16 all it says is that those who love God 17:20 are born of God and know God. 17:22 So the question I have got to ask 17:23 is what kind of love is it speaking of. 17:27 I think in the reference of in the 17:28 terms of talking of God those that know 17:31 him and that follow him is talking about 17:34 a Godly love. Well what kind of Godly love, 17:37 what kind of love does God have? 17:38 He has unconditional love. 17:40 He loves us no matter what. 17:43 He has love that He is patient that is not angry, 17:49 that does not get quickly provoked. 17:54 You know you read in First Corinthians 13, 17:58 a whole chapter about love exactly 17:59 what a Godly kind of love is. 18:02 Now when you're looking at others 18:04 love it's hard to know 18:07 what their motive is, but I'll tell you there's 18:09 a lot of love out there that is not 18:11 motivated by Godly love. 18:14 Some of those would be infatuation. 18:16 Some people in fact if you read most 18:18 magazines today that are those 18:20 you kind of pass byes, 18:21 you are leaving paying for your groceries, 18:24 you know so and so love so and so and you 18:26 say wait a minute didn't they just about 18:28 six months ago, weren't they loving 18:29 so and so or someone else. 18:31 And so that infatuation really is put forth there, 18:35 thrown out there as love. 18:37 Well in fact it's really not love. 18:40 Also many times when people show love 18:42 it's based upon a condition. 18:44 A condition that someone loves them 18:46 or at least likes them or cares for them 18:48 but immediately if you have somebody 18:50 that is not that, maybe gets into an 18:55 argument with someone or is in 18:57 complete opposite views, 18:59 you see there're some politics these days 19:00 John when you have those who say we 19:03 should just love everybody. 19:04 Well what they really mean is love everybody 19:06 that believes like you do. Right. 19:08 Because they hate those that maybe 19:10 don't believe in the same political kind of 19:15 arguments or political platform or maybe 19:18 the same president that they're endorsing 19:21 and in fact you got people out there 19:22 with hate signs because they don't follow 19:24 or believe in the same candidate that 19:26 someone else does. I'm starting to ramble 19:29 but the point is here that what kind of 19:31 love are they talking about? 19:33 And also in fact that this is not a one time 19:35 qualifier of all those just because you 19:39 show love that you are a follower 19:41 or that you are born of God because 19:42 there are several of the verses that actually 19:45 say that there are other things that you 19:47 will show and reveal if you love God, 19:49 like if you love me finish it with me, 19:51 keep my commandments. 19:53 Well this verse doesn't say that but yet that 19:56 other verse would then add to what is love, 19:59 the keeping of the commandments. 20:00 So you have to add these scriptures 20:02 and build on that and that's why we have 20:04 the Bible to show us the entire view, 20:06 the entire picture of Christian love 20:09 and those that are born again Christians, 20:11 born again followers of God and what they 20:13 do in principle and what they 20:15 do in action in their lives. 20:17 And you know John I'm glad you brought 20:19 that up because a lot of times 20:20 in the English language we use words that are 20:23 limited in English that are broad in Greek. 20:30 For example I'm not gonna go down 20:32 this path but the word hell has more than 20:35 one meaning in the Greek and Hebrew, 20:38 but in the English language we say love, 20:40 you know I love your hair, 20:41 I love your car, I love, I love the Lord. 20:44 And you think that, well do you love 20:45 the Lord as much as you love your hair, 20:46 or do you love your hair as much as you 20:47 love the Lord, no. But an example of this 20:50 love when the person ask the question about love, 20:55 read the beginning part of that is, 21:00 lot of people show love that are not Christians. 21:02 Okay here it is. Yeah. Okay I got that part. 21:04 So, so it's possible to show love when 21:07 you're not Christian. Let me give you a classic 21:09 example in scripture in John chapter 21 21:13 there was an exchange between Peter and Jesus. 21:16 And some people wonder why did Jesus keep 21:19 asking Peter this question. 21:20 Let me go ahead and read it. 21:22 He said to him the second time Simon, 21:26 son of Jonah, do you love me? 21:29 And he said unto him Lord you know that 21:31 I love you. Now Jesus asked him 21:35 and this is where the grief comes, 21:36 Simon son of Jonah do you agape me? 21:40 That's right. And Peter said Lord I follow you. 21:45 And then he said, then feed my sheep. 21:48 And he said unto him the third time, 21:50 Simon, son of Jonah follow thou me? 21:54 Yeah, he changed it. Exactly. 21:55 Peter said, Lord, you know I phileo thou you, 21:59 in other words, the Lord was saying 22:01 do you love me unconditionally and Peter 22:02 said Lord I'm not that yet there 22:04 and that you have to keep the context here. 22:06 Peter not long before that has denied his Lord. 22:09 Right, he cursed and sword that he did not 22:11 know and haven't association with him. 22:13 And deliberately he was being very 22:14 careful not to be presumptuous 22:16 about his own power to love God. 22:18 He knew, he was weak and so he wasn't 22:20 willing to say I'm with you agape you know, 22:24 phileo was about what he can do. 22:26 And in the same sense John we meet people 22:28 that are not going to throw themselves 22:30 in front of a car for us. Right. 22:32 Plus you know I love John, 22:33 may I really love him. You know throw 22:35 yourself under the car for me, no. Okay. 22:38 You get my point? Yeah. Or are you can gonna 22:40 take the bullet for me? Well see that's why 22:42 the Bible says greater agape has no man 22:45 than this and he lays down his 22:47 life for his friend. That's right. 22:49 And so in that sense people are able to be 22:51 socially and you have the word agape 22:53 and agape also, which agape 22:56 unconditional but agape oh, 22:58 is a social and moral love which in essence 23:01 because all of us, because there's a 23:03 measure of faith in all of us, 23:05 some people a very loving. 23:07 Now when you get this God is not loving only, 23:11 God is love therefore he emits love all the time. 23:16 God is always love you know. It means all kinds 23:18 of love, that's right, as well it is different 23:20 types we're talking about. 23:21 So God is able but what God is not 23:23 is not eros love, there is another kind of love. 23:27 The Greeks talked about eros love, 23:28 right, which is that carnal, 23:30 that sensual love. You see that's 23:33 what God is not although he has given 23:35 us qualities to be in the context of a wife 23:39 and husband to express a physical love 23:41 that is given to us by God for the 23:43 confines of marriage. Right. But God is agape. 23:48 And I've met a lot of people that are loving, 23:50 and you know people will, social people, 23:53 we talked about this a few days ago, 23:54 you would walk into a club or into a bar 23:57 specifically or a pub if you're in England 24:00 and a guy could be sitting there that never 24:03 knows you and he would say come 24:04 and have a drink with me and I'll pay for it. 24:05 And I read, all of a sudden everybody 24:07 who's sharing this drink with you just get 24:09 into this loving atmosphere where they 24:12 you see him so accepted and he feels loved. 24:15 Remember that old commercial, 24:16 I love you man. It's another one. 24:21 It's crazy. But that's, that's an empty love. 24:22 Yeah it is. It's not, there's 24:23 no meaning behind it. Yeah, I'm not, 24:24 I'm not running in front of a tiger for you, 24:26 you know I love you and I'll be at your 24:27 funeral but I'm not. 24:29 Actually you know, the other thing here 24:30 too is that those who actually do 24:32 experience a real life, I throw myself in front 24:35 of the bus or take the bullet for your love 24:37 maybe with your family members 24:39 or with spouse are receiving the benefit 24:41 of God's love, whether they're 24:42 believers in him or not. 24:44 They know God in that they 24:47 experience God's love, you see what I'm saying. 24:50 That's right. So if it weren't for 24:51 God who originated love they wouldn't 24:53 have that love for others. 24:54 Now they may, they refuse to acknowledge it, 24:57 okay. But at the same time they 25:00 experience that love. So, again you got to be 25:03 careful not to read one text make a huge 25:06 qualifier that says okay if you just 25:08 love then they know God and they are saved. 25:10 That's right. Because there are lots of other 25:12 things that go to that relationship 25:14 we have with God, that loving 25:15 relationship that aren't part of just this verse, 25:18 that's right. So, thank you so much. 25:21 And the key element is this, 25:23 greater love has no man than this, 25:26 than that he laid down his life for his friends, 25:29 John 15:13 and the only one that 25:31 expressed that was, for God so loved the 25:33 world that he gave his only begotten 25:35 son and so that's the expressive love 25:37 unconditional , in that while we were 25:41 yet sinners Christ died for us. 25:43 And so, so many more texts that Paul 25:45 the Apostle used that very word agape 25:47 and agape oh and. I have another 25:49 question here let me go to it now. 25:52 Okay, here we are. Can someone help 25:55 me sort this out? Thank you so much, 25:57 I like the way they put that. 25:58 We'll try to sort this out. 25:59 Revelation chapter 21 John saw the new 26:01 heaven and a new earth come down to earth. 26:04 John saw the new earth. He didn't see the new 26:07 heaven come down to earth, 26:08 John saw the new heaven and the new earth. 26:11 But he saw the New Jerusalem 26:14 come down to earth, that's the first part. 26:16 So I don't know if you made a mistake 26:17 there in typing that. By chapter 22 of 26:22 Revelation the devil and evil ones have been 26:25 destroyed then in verse 14 Jesus speaks to John, 26:30 talks about the ones who washed their robes, 26:33 having a right to the tree of life. 26:35 Then in verse 15 he says those outside 26:40 the city are like snarling dogs practicing sorcery, 26:44 murder and etc. If the earth has been 26:48 cleansed then made new in chapter 21 26:50 why are they're defile the evil ones outside 26:53 of the holy city in a sense in that state, 26:56 as it states in chapter 22. 26:59 Well the good news is they're not 27:00 outside the city, that's the good news. 27:03 The word there without or outside means 27:06 in the Greek those are the ones that are 27:07 excluded that's what it means. 27:10 So the King James Version does a 27:11 very good job here, I'm reading the 27:13 New King James version we chooses the word 27:15 outside the city. But the King James Version 27:18 uses the word without, 27:20 meaning they will never enter in. 27:22 Because the Bible says nothing shall 27:24 enter in that defiles. 27:26 So when the Lord is talking about dogs 27:28 and sorcerers and whore mongers, 27:30 those practicing sorcery and idolatry, 27:32 he is saying this is the sort that is excluded 27:35 from the New Jerusalem but they're not 27:37 outside of the city practicing these things. 27:39 The only time they're outside of the city 27:41 is in Revelation 20 just before fire 27:44 comes down from God out of heaven 27:45 and devours them, you see. So in that 27:49 context is when they're outside of the city 27:52 but after they're devoured, 27:54 after the fire is gone out and the new heavens 27:56 and the new earth are created there's nobody 27:58 outside of that city, because the Bible 27:59 makes it very clear in First Peter, 28:02 we look forward to a new heaven 28:04 and a new earth in which righteousness dwells, 28:08 only righteousness. So hopefully we were 28:10 able to put some contexts and they were a lot of 28:13 comparisons in the Bible. 28:14 You know dogs and sorcerers and what, 28:16 the righteous. The New Jerusalem 28:19 those outside the New Jerusalem. 28:20 And you have to be careful too as you reading 28:22 through the book of Revelation. 28:24 It's not strictly chronological on 28:26 every single aspect, so what you're looking 28:28 for when you see some of these things are 28:30 markers that will take you back to the point 28:31 that is really taking you back too. 28:35 For instance, one of the things that you know 28:38 it's frequently you get caught up with, 28:42 well here's an example, you're reading a book 28:45 and you're start to go through this book 28:46 and it reduces about two or three characters 28:48 and you go the story going on 28:50 and all of a sudden you get a chapter 4 28:52 there's another character. And the book backed up, 28:55 and it is telling you some information about this 28:57 new character and other things in their history, 28:59 in their life and it starts to put things 29:01 in the context of bringing that character 29:02 into the character of what it's already 29:04 introduced the four that have already 29:05 commanded the book. That's right. 29:06 And then when it gets you up to speed 29:08 it takes you forward, all of them, 29:09 then all of a us, sex a new character. 29:12 Oh! Let's get some background. 29:14 Revelation reads much that way where 29:16 it continues to go back and say here I got 29:18 more detail for you, I got more information 29:20 for you here's the more information about 29:22 this character or so such and such. 29:24 So you've got to take the context 29:26 when it does that the markers that tell you 29:28 where it's going back, that's right, 29:30 to pick up where you are going forward. 29:32 I'll tell you, in Revelation seminars 29:34 that I do, I'm invited to a church, I do what, 29:37 this is one thing I covered every single time. 29:40 Right, the continually unfolding picture. 29:41 Right. Because it is honestly like a book 29:44 and it introduces a new character or new details, 29:47 it will back up and take you back to stuff, 29:49 that is already covered in the context 29:51 of time but it will add to the picture, 29:54 so that the story itself builds through out. 29:58 And so you've got to be careful because 29:59 you're reading something after another part, 30:01 it doesn't mean it comes after. 30:03 Right. It's just means it's giving you more 30:04 details and wants you to go back 30:07 and understand more fully what its already covered. 30:10 That's right. I am so glad you brought that up, 30:12 because Revelation is so beautiful book, 30:15 one of the examples I've heard people 30:16 talk about the Fourth Angels Message. No. 30:19 There are only Three Angels Messages. 30:21 But you find them in Revelations chapter 14 30:24 when it talks about these messages verse 6 30:26 down to verse 10, it says the First Angel 30:29 with a loud voice, the second angel 30:30 just proclaimed that Babylon is fallen, 30:32 the Third Angel was a loud voice. 30:34 Well the question is why is a Second Angel 30:36 no proclaiming this with a loud voice because 30:38 the Babylon coalition is not yet 30:40 reached its fruition, right, it's complete 30:42 coalition has him coolest yet. Right. 30:46 Well when it gets to the fulfillment 30:47 of it is in Revelation 18 when that angel goes 30:50 back to that same second message 30:53 and says an angel coming down with a loud voice 30:56 saying Babylon is fallen, 30:57 is fallen and then addition to that is come 31:00 out of from my people. Right. You see, 31:03 it seems like a Fourth Angel emphasizing 31:05 the second message allover again but 31:07 expanding honor and adding one last dimension 31:10 of now that you see this, here's what you need 31:12 to do adding the dimension to it. 31:14 Thank you for bringing that point out. 31:15 Continually unfolding revelation which brings 31:18 us to the end of our questions for this 31:20 program but I know that there are other 31:22 questions that have risen in your mind 31:23 and we always appreciate your viewpoint, 31:26 but send those questions to 31:27 housecalls@3abn.org, that's 31:30 housecalls@3abn.org. And we do appreciate 31:36 your participation greatly you make 31:38 this program enhanced. That's right. 31:41 We're gonna dive back into and try to wind up 31:44 as best we can on this segment about 31:46 relationships but friends you know there 31:48 is no way that we could cover every 31:50 aspect of relationships so we're gonna try to 31:52 touch on those things that could enhance 31:54 your relationship and also talk about 31:56 some of the pitfalls that you can avoid 31:59 when things get hot and fleered in a relationship. 32:04 John I heard somebody once say my wife 32:06 and I never argue, I always am concerned 32:08 about relationships like that. Yeah. 32:11 You know we have never disagreed. 32:14 Well that means one person has a brain that's 32:16 functioning and the other brain 32:17 has been put on lockdown. 32:19 That's not the definition of a happy home. 32:21 We never disagree. Well there's something 32:24 long there with homes that don't 32:26 have disagreements. We can disagree but 32:29 let's not be disagreeable. 32:31 But some people have not created the atmosphere 32:33 which people feel free to disagree 32:36 and so when I talked about, 32:38 one of the prior programs of being 32:41 active and being assertive, 32:43 that simply means you know you 32:45 talked about this, if we're in hot argument 32:49 or the context here, we're not waiting till 32:52 the other person even finishes his 32:54 or her point, we're just waiting till 32:55 they shut up, so we could say 32:56 what they're gonna say. Right. 32:58 But a lot of times we don't answer 32:59 the question or the comment based on 33:01 what we understand them to say. 33:03 So I teach people how to actively listen, 33:05 now they don't go through like Robots 33:07 through the rest of their lives 33:08 doing this exercise, yeah, but often say 33:11 if a person says something we could 33:12 respond by saying to them or asking them 33:14 a question am I hearing you say, 33:17 am I understanding you correctly to say this, 33:20 and when they say that's what I'm saying 33:21 then you could answer the question. 33:23 But most of us are like loaded bullets 33:25 when you're done shooting I'm gonna shoot back. 33:28 And see indications of big key. That is so true. 33:30 And it think that's exactly where we left 33:32 off our last program and when we're talking 33:34 about in the context of relationships specifically 33:36 the marriage relationship. 33:38 And I would like to add here too that although 33:40 we've been talking about marriage 33:43 and how to have a better marriage relationship. 33:45 A lot of what we're talking about is our 33:48 general relationship any relationship principles, 33:52 principles. Yeah. And so don't think that 33:55 well if you're not married that you can't learn 33:57 from these things we absolutely can, 33:59 big part of all of our relationships 34:01 they would be that much more approved. 34:04 You know since we are kind of going back 34:06 and forth here at times I can remember 34:08 when I first got to a church that I pastored, 34:13 I remember that there was a couple family 34:19 groups that wouldn't really communicate. 34:21 They did not want, 34:23 they didn't even like each other, 34:24 let alone want to talk to each other. 34:26 And this happened in the place of you 34:28 and I if both pastored too. 34:30 And it was so difficult because it was years 34:35 of build up of disrespect of no communication, 34:39 or miscommunication and all these kinds of things. 34:42 And I began to learn how important 34:45 it was to understand relationships and how 34:51 things work and the principles of 34:53 relationships, because it allow me 34:55 to do some introspection, 34:57 some actually looking at myself and how I view 35:00 my relationship how I work in my relationship, 35:03 shall in my, in our relationship. 35:05 And it helped me to realize as a Christian 35:07 this is essential, it's an essential 35:11 outflow from my relationship with 35:13 God. And that in many respects and maybe 35:18 you can weigh in on this John, the way 35:19 I treat others can often be similar to the 35:23 way I treat God. Oh, yeah. That some times 35:29 it goes back to my inability to trust 35:31 somebody else, it goes back to my inability 35:33 to trust God. Simple example. If I am so 35:41 used to taking the reigns, doing the 35:43 driving in my relationship with 35:45 God, making the decisions on what happens, 35:47 what I do, where I go, you know I'm not 35:52 asking God Lord just use me, send me where 35:54 you want me to go but I'm saying I'm gonna 35:56 do this now please be with me of I'm used 35:58 to taking the reigns and always being 35:59 in-charge and maybe even it times where 36:02 God is allowing me to go through a trial, 36:04 I have, I struggle to hold on to my faith 36:07 because. Lord, why aren't you doing something 36:09 and I have my way in which he should do 36:11 something and he is not doing it so I get 36:12 a little upset about that. If that's my, 36:16 my relationship with God, I'm gonna act 36:19 out that exactly in my relationships with 36:22 others. Right. I'm not gonna trust, I'm gonna 36:25 insert I'm gonna be sure that I'm driving 36:27 things, I'm in control and things are you know 36:31 such and such. So I can find as 36:34 I look at relationship and how I should 36:36 according to the Bible being my relationships 36:39 with others I need to ultimately let that full 36:43 back up to God and say Lord I'm mean 36:45 shouldn't we all knew this, Lord how am I 36:47 hurting our relationship. How is my relationship 36:50 with you not being as good as it should be 36:53 because I know I do things that I shouldn't 36:56 do Lord pleas teach me to have a better 36:57 relationship. So that from that I can have 37:00 better relationships all here with my friends, 37:03 family and loved ones. And how we, 37:05 how we interact with God develops and shapes 37:09 us for how we interact with others. If we 37:12 just don't trust God, there's no way that if 37:14 you just trust a perfect God, who loves you 37:18 perfectly. How you are gonna trust an imperfect 37:21 person. Right. So when it comes to Proverbs 37:26 3 verse 5 and 6 that exercise of faith, 37:28 you know trust in the Lord your God with 37:31 all your heart and lean not on your own 37:33 understanding in all your ways acknowledge 37:34 him and he will direct your pads. Some times 37:37 we have to trust other people when we on the 37:39 right relationship with him we could say well 37:41 they won't do anything to destroy the path 37:43 that we are on. Right. And, they love me, 37:46 they love me. You have to believe that, 37:48 they've telling you I love you believe they 37:50 love you. I've had a couple sit before me 37:53 and I said okay right now you guys are really 37:55 upset let me just ask one question and 37:58 it's impossible John. I mean the percentages 38:01 are 99 percent higher that the responses has 38:04 been yes. Do you love your husband? 38:06 Do you love your wife? And this is a gigantic 38:10 pause? And they kind of, on that note they 38:12 are kind of turn and look at each other. 38:13 And you know it's impossible to look 38:15 at each other in the eye and remember 38:18 that person that you have committed your 38:20 life to to say, no I don't love her, no 38:22 I don't love him. They backed down and they 38:25 say yes I do love my wife, yes I do love 38:28 my husband whatever reason they say that 38:30 whether it's to look good in front of the 38:31 councilor, look good in front of the pastor they 38:34 don't usually resort to the other statement, 38:36 no I don't love my husband, no I don't love 38:38 my wife. When you begin there then I will say 38:41 okay if you love that person and that person 38:44 you believe loves you then you've got to 38:47 give them room to develop trust. There are 38:50 some people that shadow each other all the 38:52 time because they have no trust, those 38:55 kinds of relationships are relationships 38:57 that are going to be injured, they're 39:00 gonna be breaking apart slowly but surely 39:02 and so we've said people one of the things 39:05 if you don't have this in a relationship this 39:07 is what it needs to be restored trust. 39:10 Trust needs to be restored but only as you 39:13 both stay before the Lord and live that life 39:16 in harmony, can you even have that kind 39:18 of trust. That's indicative of the 39:20 relationship that God wants us to have. Right. 39:22 He was a, he was a principle but also a 39:25 Bible text. Now for those of you agree this 39:30 doesn't apply to you, if you've never had an 39:33 argument or never had a disagreement this does 39:35 not apply to you, but for the normal people 39:37 this applies to you. Proverbs 15 and verse 39:42 1 and I'm reading this from the New King James 39:44 Version, let me go ahead and bring up another 39:47 translation here so I could a comparison very 39:48 quickly but it just, it says primarily the 39:52 same way. A soft answer turns away 39:58 wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. 40:03 Let me give you a couple of examples. 40:09 Do you think I have a problem? 40:11 Well yes. That's quite different then, yes. 40:16 You got my point. Do you ready to box, 40:19 you can see the arena, you can see the crowd 40:20 saying hit him, hit her. Hit him, hit her, 40:22 You see, right away or do you think that we can 40:26 make her do this problem? 40:28 Maybe, by God's grace as compared to no, 40:33 I mean just adamant. Or when a person, 40:36 let's use a positive word do you love me? 40:39 Well of course I do. Right. Even with positive 40:43 it won't Well of course I do. Right. 40:44 But if you say do you love me? 40:46 Honey, I love you with all my heart. 40:48 I want to store account together. 40:50 Difference all together. But those harsh words 40:52 and there are certain loaded words. 40:55 Let me, let me give you a chance to register and 40:56 so I don't take up all the time here but there 40:58 are certain loaded words I wanted to teach our 41:00 viewers and listeners. No go ahead, go through 41:02 those I don't have. A loaded word whenever 41:05 you have a disagreement do not use the word you. 41:09 Yeah. Here we go. Very good point. 41:12 What's the problem? You are the problem. 41:16 Well you now go to the dentist now and ask, 41:19 let the dentist ask you, what's the problem? 41:22 I have a toothache. You have a toothache, 41:26 you are not a toothache. Because the only way 41:29 the dentist will get rid of a toothache if you 41:30 are the toothache is to extract you. 41:33 And that's a mafia terminology. 41:36 Yeah. Extracting that way. So remember, 41:39 let's use the inclusive word we have a problem. 41:43 You know what that says? We need to find a way 41:45 for us to solve our dilemma or our problem, 41:49 our circumstance and that requires two people 41:51 participating that's one of the verse I will 41:53 give you some more in just a few minutes here. 41:55 No that's a very good point in fact when I was 41:58 working for Incorporate America for Insurance 42:04 company, I went through a lot of leadership 42:06 training at that time, preparing to be a better 42:10 leader of the teams, we are organizing the teams. 42:14 One of the things they taught us was to not use 42:17 the word you in any confrontation. 42:19 There's a conflict avoid the word you at all. 42:22 Just don't use the word you. That's right. 42:26 you know talk about the issue, this has become an 42:29 issue because it is. Not you mess this up 42:32 because it only inflates the matter, 42:34 causes people to be defensive as well. 42:36 If you are in relationship where one is not a 42:39 Christian the other one is not a Christian, 42:40 you are a Christian. You have to very careful 42:44 because you operating not on equal ground. 42:47 I'm not saying as far as you better than there 42:49 was something, I'm just saying you're not the 42:51 plane field is different. Okay. You approach 42:55 the relationship for moral grounds they may not. 42:59 And so the better that you can act or respond 43:02 or communicate in this respect will really help 43:06 and how they respond back to you. That's right. 43:09 Because if they are not walking with the Lord, 43:11 they are not practicing the principles that you 43:13 are practicing, so make sure that you're using 43:17 those kinds of the, kind of language and 43:19 the kind of things that would engear you to 43:21 eachother or help correct the problem not that 43:24 they are the problem. And some people don't 43:26 respond, some people react. Yeah. 43:29 While those words are neighbors, 43:32 it doesn't really help to react but it does help 43:36 to respond, the word respond denotes in some 43:40 sense respond under control, respond kindly, 43:44 respond with the knowledge that your 43:49 next statement is going to either hurt that 43:51 person or help the situation begin to be 43:54 resolve or help the hurt to begin to be healed. 43:58 So some times we are so much into, 44:00 another word here well another context that was 44:02 self preservation some people, 44:04 some people wanna win it all cause. 44:06 I always say remember that the winning comes when 44:09 you win the person but you can win the argument 44:13 and lose the person. You can be absolutely right 44:16 and end up absolutely alone. That's right. 44:19 So don't always determined to be right. 44:21 I saw an example on a program about, 44:27 Oh! I forgot the title of it but it was about a 44:30 woman who was about to get married and she was 44:33 so determined to make sure that everybody who 44:36 offended her instantly apologized. 44:39 You know never force a person to say I'm sorry. 44:45 Because sorrow is something that comes 44:46 out of a Godly, out of a heart that's been 44:49 softened by the presence of the Holy Spirit the 44:52 sorrow comes, I referred to the Godly sorrow not, 44:55 I'm sorry. Even with your kids to force them to 44:58 go over their neighbor, cause they threw rocks 44:59 through the windows to say you're sorry. 45:01 I would approach it more of is don't you feel bad 45:05 that they had to go through these things to 45:07 repair their thing, they don't have enough 45:08 money, help them see the consequences. 45:09 I want to see this, see what they do, 45:11 what the damage they've done and then out of that 45:13 sorrow say do you think we should go back and 45:15 maybe say we're sorry, they feel like maybe we 45:17 should, yeah, you know you can always led them 45:19 into wanting to say I'm sorry. Right. 45:21 But don't force them. You're right. 45:23 And then I say that I have teachers have lead 45:27 their children that are you know getting in this 45:29 little squabble say I apologize, apology is an 45:34 acknowledgment of the wrong you've done, 45:35 but the sorrow comes after. 45:38 And I've seen couples that have apologized for 45:39 actions they've taken, decisions they've made, 45:42 things they've done but later on about a week 45:45 later they will come to each other in tears and 45:47 that's where the sorrow comes then. 45:49 Because they've had time to think about it, 45:51 they've had time to mow it over and begin to see, 45:54 mull it over and begin to see exactly what the 45:56 gravity of the situation is. 45:58 And it makes a difference altogether on how we 46:01 make it through or how we not make it through a 46:02 relationship. That's right. 46:05 A couple of Bible texts here, 46:09 let's look at one of the things here and by 46:13 the way John sometimes we can 46:14 even overdo good things. 46:17 Now how would you feel if you're spouse or 46:22 even a good friend all day long followed you 46:26 around saying I apologize, I apologize everybody 46:29 apologize and every time you saw them, 46:31 I'm sorry. Remember that, 46:33 all of us have had a friend that I'm sorry, 46:35 every time something happened, I'm sorry. 46:38 Well, a good friend of ours, he would resort to 46:42 that word, like if somebody did you 46:43 something like he say Oh! I'm sorry, listen 46:45 would you stop saying I'm sorry, Oh! I'm sorry. 46:48 He's so used to doing that, yeah, 46:50 and we laughed about it, but it became a part of 46:53 his persona. Couldn't get away from that but so, 46:56 he was a sorry individual. Good one. 47:00 No pun intended here. But, let's look at 47:05 First Corinthians 9 and verse 25 we wanna talk 47:07 about being temperate, 9 verse what, 47:12 First Corinthians 9 and verse 25 read for us, 47:15 even things that are good need to be done in a 47:18 temperate way. Everyone who compete for the prize 47:22 is temperate in all things. 47:23 Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown; 47:26 but we do it for an imperishable crown. 47:28 Okay. So when you, when you get to the place of 47:32 even doing good things in relationships, 47:37 sometimes you wanna so impress a person that you 47:40 just want to continue to do all these 47:41 impressionable things to them and the thing that 47:46 was initially a gift now becomes just a common 47:49 occurrence. I'll use an example, 47:52 to people that sometimes try to 47:56 use gifts to soften something that 47:59 they've done. Sometimes it's not a wise thing 48:03 always to, here's an example, 48:06 I've had a couple sit before me once and the 48:09 husband says I don't know why she is always 48:11 complaining, anything she wants I give it to her, 48:13 she wants a house I bought it for her, 48:15 she want a brand new car I bought it for her, 48:16 I always bring flowers home. 48:20 He is putting all the, he is putting all the 48:22 weight on all the things he's done. 48:24 Now would somebody want a brand new house? 48:27 Of course. Would somebody want a brand new car, 48:29 surely. Would a woman love to get flowers, great, 48:32 but if you think those good things are going to 48:35 offset all the things that you've done to injure 48:37 me you have another thing coming so we have 48:40 to be temperate. So when those flowers do show 48:42 up, they show up for the right reason not for the 48:45 repetitious covering up of a person's inability 48:49 to control themselves. Right. So be temperate 48:51 in all things. You know the other thing, 48:53 this I think you're going to this verse I was 48:57 thinking of something a little earlier, 48:58 I was wondering how I would bring it into the 49:01 picture of relationship so I think a lot of 49:02 people need to hear it. And you bring up this 49:04 verse and so now it's like the context of God to 49:07 share it. When Rochelle and I, 49:09 we weren't married when I first met her I was 49:12 very interested in her, wanted to date her. 49:16 I remember we spent some time driving back and 49:19 forth I would drive to work and she would go 49:22 with me because the place that I worked was the 49:24 place that she was doing the you know we learned 49:27 how to teach on site, I can't remember what 49:29 you call it, but it's like before you become a 49:31 teacher you're actually go and observe teachers 49:34 and you actually begin to teach a little bit. 49:36 Anyway so she would go, something like that, 49:38 no it's something different. Okay. 49:39 Maybe she would go and do that and then we 49:41 go home and we had all this time in the car to 49:43 get to know each other. And we stop off and we 49:45 eat dinner on the way home and stuff and we were 49:47 getting to know each other's friends, 49:48 well it came to a point where I wanted to grow 49:52 that from her friendship into a dating. 49:54 I wanted to let her know that I really cared for 49:56 her more than just as friends and I would like 49:58 to date her. And remember we had the talk 50:02 you know, and everybody is worried about the 50:07 person that are interested in saying I would like 50:09 to just be friends. I mean come on, 50:11 you've had these before back in the past we used 50:13 to date, you hated that, because if you like 50:17 someone you didn't want to hear they just want 50:18 to be friends. So, we had this talk and that's 50:21 what she told me, she said I just you know 50:23 I'm just looking for friendships right now. 50:26 You know what, a lot of guys and here's who I'm 50:28 speaking to you guys for a second, 50:30 let me talk to the guys, okay. 50:31 We don't respond the way we should. 50:35 We get desperate and we try to do something to 50:38 convince them to like us, by gifts is one thing 50:42 you mentioned, by going to the next step, 50:46 the next level to try and show that we should be 50:48 worthy or worthy of being liked for more, 50:51 whatever it maybe and I know going through 50:54 college and high school, you know I made 50:58 mistakes like that as well. You know trying to 50:59 do better so they would somehow like me, 51:02 you know. But I approached it 51:04 differently with Rochelle. I did something she's 51:06 never had happened before in the history of 51:08 anybody wanting to date here, okay. 51:10 Now, I'm all yours. Yeah, here's what I said. 51:14 I said you know what I really can appreciate 51:17 the honesty. But I want to tell you one of the 51:20 reasons my motive for us going out and doing 51:22 this together is my motive is something deeper. 51:25 I'm looking for someone to spend my life with, 51:27 someone I'm really, that would be really 51:28 interesting me. So I have lots of friends 51:31 already, I really appreciate but 51:33 I think this is, this relationship is probably 51:36 as far as gonna go, it's over. 51:37 We can be friends but the time I'm spending with 51:39 you isn't helping me, right, because I like you, 51:42 it's doing more damage at this point because 51:44 you're not interested let's just call it 51:46 quits here. She never had that happen before 51:48 ever. You know the old saying, 51:51 if you love it set it free. 51:53 There was a lot of truth to that. 51:55 Sometimes you just have to let it go. 51:57 Guys don't force it, if they're gonna like you, 52:01 they're gonna like you for who you are, 52:02 that's right, don't beg, 52:04 come on please won't you, can I show you how I'm 52:07 better then you're thinking I'm and won't you 52:09 just and you know what four days it took, 52:12 Rochelle called me saying, can we go out to 52:14 dinner. So I gave another couple weeks, 52:16 it look like maybe it was heading the right 52:17 direction, we had the talk again and guess what 52:19 happened, she said, I will, I told you I just 52:21 want to be friends I said and I told you I've got 52:24 plenty of friends. Right. Well took only a couple 52:27 of days that time, then from that point on 52:30 we realized as we were getting to know each other 52:32 or continuing our relationship that it 52:33 was going somewhere. But I just, I want to say 52:37 this to the guys, even the gals out there don't 52:39 be desperate. God doesn't want us to be 52:42 desperate, even God as He woos us He doesn't 52:46 resort to those kinds of tactics, right. 52:48 He lets us make decisions and if our decision is 52:50 no, the Bible tells us that God will give us the 52:53 freedom to choose no and He will allow us to 52:56 actually walk away and fall away and not follow 53:00 Him. That's just He honors that from your choice. 53:03 We have to do that in our own relationships as 53:05 well, don't you think? It makes a difference in, 53:09 I think what you're talking about here the 53:10 difference between perception and reality. 53:13 Sometimes people think that we can just go on in 53:16 this fantasy of just spending time together and 53:20 things are going to naturally happen, 53:22 what I like to term this as is we must let our, 53:25 we must let our expectations and 53:29 our goals be known in order for us to be, 53:31 begin to move toward those goals. 53:33 Lot of times people say well so are you guys 53:36 dating, and. Does she know you like you? 53:39 Should not know. You like her. 53:40 Watches, you are standing here and 53:41 Rochelle standing there and this is the context 53:43 of before you got married and your friend will 53:44 come, are you guys dating? 53:45 Yes. The other one says no. Yeah. And then you 53:48 switch it, ah no, yes. And the person says 53:52 which is it, you dating or not. 53:53 Yeah. And you both want to feel comfortable 53:56 but you want the other person to feel 53:57 comfortable. So who is this, this is my friend. 54:00 Yeah. You know. It's my girlfriend, 54:01 I mean she is a girl and she is my friend. 54:03 Oh! Because I'm not your girlfriend, 54:05 well you're a girl and you're my friend, yeah, 54:06 but you know what I mean. 54:08 You know they beat around the bush and a lot 54:10 of times what happens is we don't know how to 54:12 manage our expectations we talk about that in 54:14 counseling. One of the things that there are some 54:18 misunderstandings about relationships and this 54:21 is across the board John whether you're married 54:24 or whether you're not married, 54:27 time will resolve all my problems. 54:31 Well that's not true. If you think that time 54:33 is gonna resolve all your problems, 54:35 don't go to the dentist just let that tooth go 54:37 away eventually. Time is the helper, 54:39 but it doesn't resolve. No, you've got to know 54:41 and understand, you've go to know. 54:45 Another is if I have to ask it's not as 54:48 meaningful, some people say, I will say to 54:50 couples you know if you don't know if the other 54:52 person, if the husband doesn't know what the 54:54 wife is expecting, if the wife doesn't know 54:56 what the husband is expecting don't believe in 55:00 telepathy, we don't believe in mind reading. 55:02 Right. Some times, talk about it. 55:04 Talk about what your desires are, 55:06 or talk about what your wishes are and the other 55:09 thing about another one is happily ever after, 55:11 what on earth does that mean? 55:15 And they got married and they lived happily 55:17 ever after. That's Disney world, 55:19 that's not real life. Yeah. You got to build on 55:21 that happiness, what does happiness interpret 55:23 financially, relationally, spiritually children, 55:28 parenting, what does happiness really mean? 55:30 So you got to work on some of those things. 55:31 You know in talking about those things before 55:32 you are married are so key to a successful 55:35 marriage and being united in your marriage. 55:38 I mean I can't tell you how many times that you 55:40 find that people get married and then they 55:42 start to get to know each other. 55:43 Right. That's when things get disastrous to find 55:46 out know what your goals are what your 55:48 desire are, your dreams are before you married. 55:51 Because when you marry a person a lot of times 55:53 when people are thinking about marriage, 55:55 they think about marriage because right now they 55:56 are attracted to each other, right, 55:58 she looks great, he is handsome, 56:00 they got a great income we can make a great 56:02 life together we have a lot of common interests 56:03 but man is like going to store and buying a gift 56:07 because you like the box, right, rather than 56:10 the content. You got to know what's on 56:11 the inside. If you have no idea what's on the 56:13 inside through counseling, through relational 56:16 therapy or whatever you want to get understand 56:18 what's in the background before 56:19 you can understand what's gonna come to the 56:20 forefront later on. And is, you know after 56:23 twenty or so years of marriage counseling people 56:25 have come up with these unrealistic expectations. 56:29 Well I need to give you text before we end this 56:30 program here this is gonna make the difference 56:32 and you know John, Philippians 4:8 56:34 is the one, turn to that and read that for our 56:37 audience those who are listening and watching 56:39 this program, Philippians 4:8, you know we'd love 56:42 to do an entire seminar on counseling but go 56:45 ahead and hit us with that one. 56:46 Finally brethren, whatever things are true, 56:48 whatever things are noble, whatever things are 56:50 just, whatever things are pure, 56:52 whatever things are lovely, 56:54 whatever things are of good report, 56:56 if there is any virtue, if there is anything 56:58 praise worthy meditate on these things. 57:02 Right. It makes a difference because 57:03 you don't know everything about 57:05 everything you don't know that time is gonna 57:07 change it, things are not gonna change 57:09 necessarily when you have a baby, 57:11 when you get a better job you got to work on your 57:13 relationship but let the mindset that is there 57:16 by Christ abiding in your life, 57:17 be the principal lovely, pure, honest all these 57:21 things make a difference in your life. 57:23 And I say that God has an ideal relationship but 57:26 until you seek Him you will never know what that 57:28 is, so do the first thing, seek the Lord today. 57:32 God bless you. |
Revised 2014-12-17