Participants: Mike Lemon (Host)
Series Code: HDL
Program Code: HDL000007
00:39 Hello and welcome to Help In Daily Living.
00:40 Today we are going to talking about how to
00:42 get along with others.
00:44 The truth is that getting along with others
00:46 is sometimes very difficult.
00:47 We can always find someone who we don't get along with.
00:50 The way we see life, the way we judge, is not in all
00:54 respects the same.
00:56 If we are judging others, we should really leave that
00:58 work to God because the work of judging belongs to God.
01:02 Sometimes though we complain, we criticize, we compare
01:05 and we compete with one another.
01:07 So how do we get along with one another?
01:09 Before we get into this topic I am going to ask Zack to
01:12 lead us in a word of prayer.
01:14 Dearly Father, Lord, thank you so much for this day.
01:17 Thank you that we can be here to discuss
01:19 these topics together.
01:20 Lord I just pray as we talk about Your judgments,
01:23 not our own, that our hearts be opened and willing
01:25 to accept that sometimes Lord we are
01:27 too harsh to each other.
01:29 Help us to realize and to know that we can get along
01:32 with others and that it is Your will for us.
01:33 Come into our heart, in Your name. Amen!
01:38 In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.
01:41 When God built our world, He did not create it using any
01:45 method that an artist would use now.
01:47 Instead He spoke it into existence.
01:49 His words instantaneously produced His will.
01:52 During Jesus' ministry on this earth, He brought Lazarus
01:56 back from the dead with a simple command.
01:58 "Lazarus, come forth."
01:59 Throughout the entire Bible we find Christ creating just
02:03 by speaking and He has given us this power as well.
02:06 In Proverbs 18:21 it says, "death and life are in the
02:11 "power of the tongue". With our words we can create life
02:13 by pointing to Jesus, or we can have a negative influence
02:16 by speaking discouragingly.
02:18 Why not use your words to encourage and uplift others
02:21 as Jesus did?
02:24 If any little word of mine
02:28 may make a dark light brighter
02:33 if any little song mine
02:37 may make a sad heart lighter
02:43 God help me speak the helping word
02:47 and sweeten it with singing
02:53 and drop it in some lonely vale
02:58 to set the echoes ringing
03:03 if any little love of mine
03:09 may make a hard life sweeter
03:14 if any little care of mine
03:19 may make a friends love sweeter
03:25 God help me speak a helping word
03:30 and sweeten it with singing
03:35 and drop it in some lonely vale
03:40 To set the echoes ringing
03:46 if any little lift of mine
03:52 May ease a toiler bending;
03:57 God give me love and care and strength
04:03 we live for Him by lending
04:08 God help me speak the helping word
04:13 and sweeten it with singing
04:19 and drop it in some lonely vale
04:24 to set the echoes ringing
04:35 Sometimes the greatest thing that hinders our
04:37 relationships is the desire to compete with one another,
04:41 or compare with one another.
04:42 We look at ourselves and say I can't take it when someone
04:47 else is better than I am, or when someone else is kind of
04:51 they just don't do things the same way I do them.
04:56 How do you relate to that Brooke?
04:58 I've been a person that always has struggled with
05:01 competition, I grew up playing competitive sports and I spent
05:05 countless hours jogging and pushing myself so hard to
05:08 the point I was almost throwing up.
05:10 I'd be in the gym shooting baskets, and my head would be
05:13 spinning because I wanted to be the best.
05:14 I wanted to be the best because I wanted to win.
05:16 It is all that I strived for, so every time it come to
05:19 a game or something like that, if I ever saw someone that
05:22 was better than me it drove me even further and pushed
05:24 me harder and I would practice more and more.
05:27 I can think of this particular girl, every time I saw her
05:30 I would stand up straighter and try harder.
05:34 If she made a good shot I'd say whatever I could probably
05:36 do that, and it would drive me crazy.
05:38 Eventually it came to the point that God was speaking to
05:41 my heart, Brooke you can't handle this competition,
05:44 these long practice hours, these tournaments and games
05:47 is getting to you.
05:48 I would do lots and lots of prayer and study and
05:51 God showed me that I can't handle it.
05:54 I decided I was going to quit playing sports.
05:56 So I did, I quit. It was crazy because even after I quit
06:00 there were still opportunities for me to be competitive.
06:02 Even coming here to Fountain View, I will go jogging every
06:06 day and would catch myself running and running until
06:09 I couldn't even feel my legs.
06:10 I thought I was really working out and it came to the
06:14 point eventually that God had to like, make it so
06:17 I couldn't do anything basically.
06:18 I tore my meniscus in my right knee and I couldn't go jogging
06:21 at all. I was like, oh man, I love to jog but through
06:25 that experience God showed me there is a balance to be
06:28 found and that He does want me to do my best in all
06:31 things, but He doesn't want me to push myself so hard
06:33 that I hurt myself.
06:36 That as a Christian, the attitude of self-control, it has
06:41 taken me a long time to recognize, I need to learn that.
06:44 I praise God, because He has been helping me so
06:46 much, I haven't been able to go jogging, but God has
06:49 given me many other ways to exercise and do things where
06:52 I can still keep myself in tone. I praise God for that.
06:54 You know you said an important thing, you said that God
06:57 wants us to do our very best, and that's important.
07:01 So sometimes people have a hard time with that.
07:02 They say, but sometimes we can have friendly competition,
07:05 or healthy competition and that kind of motivates me
07:07 to do better, is there a way in which we can do that?
07:10 That kind of motivates us to do better, where we don't
07:13 have to be competing with one another?
07:15 Right, well I think when you see somebody like, for
07:17 example someone who really knows their Bible very well,
07:19 they can encourage you to want to study my Bible more.
07:22 I need to know it more, I think there is a balance to be
07:25 found, you know like the competition that I had was
07:27 coming straight from pride.
07:28 I would look at it like, I would be better than her.
07:30 There is a balance that can be found, you don't have to
07:34 have pride as reigning power in your heart.
07:36 I mean look at Satan, he wanted to be the best in heaven and
07:37 because of that he went from being in heaven to now
07:41 the king of this world.
07:42 We need to make sure that pride isn't the reigning power
07:44 behind our competition that we have. - right.
07:46 I mean the whole Bible is about people not being able to
07:50 get along with one another, right from the sons of Adam
07:54 and Eve, our perfect parents in paradise.
07:57 You are thinking, how did they not get along with each
08:00 other? Ended one brother killed another brother, so there was
08:04 competition there right from the beginning.
08:05 It doesn't look like friendly competition at all.
08:07 But yet you see Jesus, He did His very best.
08:10 What was it that motivated Him to His very best for us?
08:14 Love! - it was love, absolutely.
08:17 It wasn't pride, He wasn't competing against
08:19 someone else, it was out of love.
08:21 If we have love in our hearts, we can do our very best
08:24 and we can treat each other with dignity and kindness.
08:28 Yeah! - And that's really I think the heart of getting
08:30 along with one another, is having the love of Christ in
08:32 our hearts and being accepting of one another for our
08:36 differences and for our individual strengths as well.
08:44 My mother is someone who sacrifices everything
08:48 for her children's success.
08:49 Growing up she sacrificed so much in order to put me
08:52 and my sister through school and music lessons.
08:55 To be honest I hated those music lessons.
08:58 Yet she still had me take them.
09:00 I remember at one point she decided to become registered
09:03 as an American medical Doctor.
09:05 This was very lengthy and time-consuming process.
09:08 However, as time went on, she realized that
09:11 she was not spending quality time with her family.
09:14 So she decided to quit. She sacrificed her career,
09:18 money and comfort for her family.
09:20 She would often tell me, Moses God created you for
09:24 a purpose, and He has a great plan for your life.
09:27 Everything I do is for you, Moses.
09:29 Her dedication and sacrifices changed my life.
09:33 She looked beyond the present and had hope for the future
09:36 for me and my sister.
09:38 Christ gave up heaven and life itself for us.
09:42 He has promised to come again to bring us to a better
09:46 place, now I, just like my mother can look beyond
09:49 the present to the blessed hope.
09:52 It is because of Christ's sacrifice that
09:55 we have this blessed hope.
10:04 ¤ (musical Introduction of: I Saw One Weary)
10:11 I saw one weary, sad, and torn,
10:16 With eager steps press on the way,
10:20 Who long the hallowed cross had borne,
10:25 Still looking for the promised day;
10:31 While many a line of grief and care,
10:37 Upon His brow, was furrowed there;
10:41 I asked what buoyed His spirits up,
10:46 'O this! Said He "the Blessed hope.".
10:57 (Music playing)
11:11 And one I saw, with sword and shield,
11:15 Who boldly braved the world's cold frown,
11:19 And fought, unyielding, on the field,
11:24 To win an everlasting crown.
11:29 Though worn with toil, oppressed by foes,
11:35 No murmur from His heart arose;
11:40 I asked what buoyed His spirits up,
11:44 'O this! Said He "the Blessed hope.".
11:55 (Music Playing)
12:08 While pilgrims here we journey on
12:12 In this dark vale of sin and gloom,
12:17 Through tribulation, hate, and scorn,
12:22 Or through the portals of the tomb.
12:27 Till our returning King shall come
12:32 to take His exile captives home,
12:37 O! what can buoy the spirits up?
12:41 'Tis this! the Lord "the Blessed hope."
12:53 ¤ (Music Playing)
13:11 You know sometimes we can have really good relationships
13:14 with people and good friendships but what prevents that
13:18 is that we prejudge one another.
13:20 Sometimes we stereotype another person, we say, oh that
13:23 is that kind of person.
13:24 I could never get along with that kind of person and then
13:27 we stay away from them.
13:30 I think sometimes it is the devil that is behind it,
13:33 you know, it kind prevents us from getting close to
13:36 a person who could be a really good friend.
13:39 So by prejudging we prevent ourselves from having good
13:45 friendships with one another.
13:46 Allie, how do you relate to that?
13:50 Well I guess I'll just explain, is best explained by
13:55 having good friends with these two girls here.
13:57 Last year my junior year, there were a lot of new
14:00 girls in my class, two of them where Valerie and Victoria.
14:04 At the beginning of the year I didn't think I could be
14:06 friends with them, to me they just seemed both so smart
14:11 and they spoke so intelligently, and I don't.
14:14 Just felt kind of inferior, like I couldn't really be
14:19 friends with them.
14:20 But one night, somehow I ended up studying with Victoria
14:24 and I remember walking to her room and was really
14:27 worried that would say something stupid.
14:29 I was worried I would embarrass myself, I was walking
14:32 to her room and remember thinking this is dumb.
14:34 Smart people need friends too. (group laughing)
14:38 We ended up actually having a lot of fun together.
14:40 We connected really well, and it was really great.
14:43 So I found even though, that is what I thought originally,
14:47 but we were able to actually be friends, even though that
14:51 was not what I had expected.
14:52 You see Allie didn't have that view of us for no reason.
14:56 Back home I was used to being the smartest kid in the
14:59 class, so I guess that kind of came across to Allie.
15:02 I think Victoria was the same way at home.
15:05 When I came to Fountain View, I knew there would be
15:08 talent, but I guess I wasn't really prepared for all
15:11 the talent that I would face.
15:13 So I got here and all of a sudden my antenna went up.
15:15 I soon discovered who was on my level, so to speak.
15:19 And Victoria, - that was in violin right?
15:23 That was one of them, yes. - playing violin.
15:25 Yeah, playing the violin, and we were both really good
15:28 violinist and so I think some sort of mutual competition
15:32 sort of developed really early on.
15:34 It kind of prevented us from becoming close friends that year
15:37 Umhumm. Yeah you see when I came to Fountain View,
15:41 my senior year, I was thinking I'm a great violinist
15:45 I'll do fine placing in the orchestra and everything.
15:47 I did, Val became concert mistress and I sat right beside
15:51 her for most of the pieces.
15:53 I went on an Oregon Tour with everyone in the chorus too and
15:58 which was really cool since only a few musicians got to go.
16:00 But I guess it was really then, during that time,
16:04 I began to get really jealous of Val.
16:07 I guess I thought to myself, I'm a really good violinist
16:11 I'm sitting up here with her, and then I started to think,
16:13 I'm a better violinist then her, why am I not sitting in the
16:16 concert mistress seat? So I became really jealous.
16:20 Pride had definitely taken root in my heart.
16:22 Then she would tell me little things, like change the
16:27 bowing here, or play softer in this section, or do this
16:31 kind of stroke or something and I would just hate that.
16:34 I would resent it when she would tell me to correct
16:37 something, because I didn't like being corrected.
16:39 I just thought I knew better, yeah,
16:42 I thought I knew better.
16:44 So I guess I really got upset with her, and it
16:52 creeped into a lot of areas of life, this jealousy.
16:55 Val is really smart like Allie was saying earlier
16:58 and so we had kind of competi- tion there with schoolwork.
17:02 She would sometimes help me with my physics homework.
17:05 She is really good at that.
17:06 And musically, like we talked about, then Val was also
17:11 a very spiritual student and she is a leader at Fountain View
17:14 so I became jealous of her for that.
17:16 She also has lots of friends, and the list just seem to get
17:19 bigger of things that I could be jealous of her for.
17:21 So I just got so fed up, it was mostly an internal
17:25 struggle that I was having, but still I just felt like
17:29 I really needed to talk to her about this.
17:31 I thought to myself, it was kind of a battle between myself,
17:35 should I talk to her, should I not talk to her because
17:37 it really wasn't her fault and I knew that.
17:40 I knew it was my own struggle, but I still felt like
17:42 I needed to talk her.
17:44 So she came to my room one evening and I just started
17:47 telling her how I felt she was coming across to me,
17:49 and how I thought she was looking down her nose at me
17:51 because she thought she was so much better.
17:53 I guess I will let her tell you what she said.
17:58 Well when she asked to talk to me and I went and talked
18:02 to her, she told me about this struggle she'd be having.
18:05 I had no idea that she was struggling with this.
18:10 I realized that I hadn't been careful with what
18:14 I was doing with my acts and influence upon her.
18:18 Because I was ignorant of how she was feeling.
18:21 I thought it was leftover feelings from the year
18:26 before perhaps, I knew there was something wrong.
18:28 But I was really glad she told me, because I have
18:32 a struggle with pride as well. I told her that.
18:35 It kind of made a connection between the two of us.
18:38 Yeah, and I guess it helped to talk about it.
18:43 But I really, what I had to do was I had to take
18:45 my feelings to God and let my pride and jealousy and
18:49 competition, all these feelings I had to take them
18:51 to God, and just give them to Him.
18:53 Basically let Him take over I guess.
18:56 It wasn't an instant thing, you know just right as soon
19:00 as I told God all these problems that it went away.
19:03 That wasn't how it was, it was a gradual thing
19:06 and over time God had to just change my heart and
19:09 melt those feelings away.
19:11 But eventually He's given me peace in place of all those
19:16 strife, feelings of strife I had and Valerie and I are able to
19:22 be friends today because of that. - Well I got to be
19:27 friends with Victoria last year, but with Val I didn't
19:30 really get to be friends with her and tell halfway
19:34 through the school year at least.
19:35 We had gone to school events together and stuff but we never
19:38 really talked deeply.
19:40 To me she seem like one of those people that sits in
19:41 the room and memorizes pie for fun.
19:44 One time we were on school campus together and ended
19:50 up sharing a room.
19:51 One night during the weekend she came in and I was sitting
19:55 on my bed, and she said, don't you have any problems?
19:59 the time there were some things I was struggling with?
20:02 So I was thinking in my head, Honey let me tell you.
20:06 But I didn't, so we start talking and I found out
20:10 she was struggling with the same things I was.
20:11 It was really amazing and we connected and started sharing
20:15 with each other, I shared with her what a struggling with
20:18 and we were able to encourage each other actually,
20:21 help each other, and that really was the start
20:24 of a friendship deeply.
20:26 Throughout the rest of the year we started hanging out
20:28 more and praying with each other when one of us was feeling
20:31 down and we also started helping each other with our
20:33 schoolwork, our English assignments and found out
20:35 we think a lot alike in that way.
20:37 Our friendship just grew a lot and I think back like I never
20:43 would have expected to be friends with either one of
20:45 these girls, but if I hadn't withheld my judgment with Val
20:51 and Victoria, if I had just continued to think like
20:53 stereotyping them in my mind, I would never have been blessed
20:56 like I have been.
20:58 I wouldn't have been able to gain the blessing
21:00 spiritually that I have, and the encouragement that
21:03 they have been to me.
21:04 I just think that we need that in our relationships,
21:07 to withhold judgment, and to try to see people
21:10 as God sees them.
21:11 Praise the Lord, so the three of you are friends now?
21:14 Yeah. - it is a wonderful to see that, and you really
21:19 had to take time and trust that the other person wasn't
21:24 going to hurt you, and they weren't going to judge you
21:26 as you were judging them.
21:28 Things turned out completely opposite from what all
21:32 three of you had expected from the beginning.
21:34 Isn't that wonderful how God sees things completely different
21:38 and He can open our eyes, when we are prepared to be open
21:41 to one another, and He can enlarge our friendships so that
21:46 we can get along with one another.
21:49 Whenever I fail God, whenever I fall into a temptation
21:52 over and over, it usually happens just before I've told
21:56 Him I would never ever do it again.
21:57 I suddenly start to feel like a Jonah, like I'm fleeing
22:01 His still small voice and I am ashamed to talk
22:03 to Him that next day.
22:04 I run from His calling and totally ignored the promptings
22:07 of His Holy Spirit.
22:08 Have you ever felt this way? That you couldn't talk to
22:12 God because of your weaknesses? That there is no way
22:15 that He could forgive you for what you have done?
22:17 The book 'Help In Daily Living' says, "when we have sinned
22:21 "and we feel we cannot pray it is then the time
22:24 "time to pray. No matter how shameful, disgraced or
22:27 "humiliating we may feel in front of God,
22:29 "He still accepts us lovingly and tenderly."
22:32 "This gift of salvation is not something that can be
22:36 "obtained by mere wealth or wisdom or even achievement,
22:39 "rather when I take this step of faith, I experience
22:43 "His cleansing grace." In your life you will meet with
22:46 adversity, no doubt you will fail, but when you submit
22:50 yourself to Him with a contrary heart, a willing spirit, and a
22:53 patient forgiving character, God can and will make you
22:56 whiter than snow, if you will only ask Him.
23:05 ¤ (Music playing)
23:25 Lord Jesus, I long to be perfectly whole;
23:31 I want Thee forever to live in my soul;
23:38 Break down every idol, cast out every foe
23:46 Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
23:55 Whiter than snow, yes, whiter than snow,
24:02 Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
24:18 ¤ (Music Playing)
24:27 Lord Jesus, look down from Thy throne in the sky
24:35 And help me to make a complete sacrifice;
24:42 I give up myself, and whatever I know
24:50 Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
25:02 ¤ (Music Playing)
25:08 My Lord Jesus, for this I most humbly entreat,
25:15 I wait, blessed Lord, at Thy crucified feet,
25:23 By faith for my cleansing, I see thy blood flow
25:31 Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
25:40 Whiter than snow, yes, whiter than snow,
25:47 Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
26:00 Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow!
26:26 One of the lessons that I can take from my favorite Bible
26:28 character David, is the way he treated Saul.
26:31 Saul was actively trying to kill and take his life.
26:33 But David always treated him with kindness and
26:36 forbearance. That always blows my mind.
26:38 David's men would be saying, he's killing me fight back,
26:42 but he said, whom am I to raise my hand against the
26:44 Lord's anointed king? Right?
26:45 That hits me because, as everybody in our lives we just
26:50 meet people that we just clash, you just rub personalities.
26:53 I mean that happens quite frequently in the human walk.
26:56 For me, like you think about who are we to raise our hand
27:00 against the anointed of the Lord, against His people?
27:03 Who are we to speak bad about them?
27:05 Who are we to judge, and not give them the benefit of the
27:07 doubt. And that is freeing, right?
27:09 There is a strategy is to every time you think bad about
27:13 somebody, speak well of their character.
27:15 To point something good out, and for me that is the
27:18 last thing I want to do, that frustrates me so much.
27:20 Because you are in a mood where you are angry and
27:21 you don't even want to try to do that, but the Lord
27:24 has been really teaching me this year, this is important
27:26 and you can do it with Him.
27:27 It is hard though. It is real good strategy for how to get
27:31 along with others. Allie can you close with a word
27:34 of prayer for us?
27:35 Father God, You know how easy it is to just think the
27:39 worst of everyone, and I know I do that all the time.
27:41 I would like to ask that You would create in us a heart
27:44 full of sympathy and love for the ones we want to judge
27:47 and cut down.
27:48 Please help us to think well of them and speak well
27:51 of them and to remember that they are Your children
27:53 just as much as we are.
27:55 I just thank You that You don't judge us for what
27:59 we appear to be on the outside. In your name, Amen!
28:05 Help in Daily Living is a 13 part series from Fountain
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28:12 of practical everyday Christianity.
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