Participants: Jennifer Jill Schwirzer Robert Davidson (Host), Paul Coneff, Shelly Wiggins, Dr. Jean Wright
Series Code: MOC
Program Code: MOC000005A
00:27 Welcome to A Multitude of Counselors.
00:31 We are so thankful
00:32 that you've come to our program today.
00:34 We are a show designed to help us
00:36 all better understand mental health,
00:40 and point to solutions where we can find freedom,
00:43 and hope, and healing in Jesus,
00:45 and I have a wonderful panel of experts here today.
00:48 Every single one of them is in the field,
00:50 helping people in one way
00:51 or another through counseling and that type of intervention.
00:54 So I want to introduce them at this time.
00:56 First we have Jean Wright,
00:59 he's from my hometown at Philadelphia,
01:00 in fact he goes to my church.
01:02 And he is the director of the Behavioral Health
01:05 and Justice Services
01:07 in the Behavioral Health Department
01:09 in Philadelphia.
01:10 He's got the longest title of anyone.
01:13 He's an author and travels a lot with that book,
01:17 if I'm correct,
01:18 'cause he's not in church every week,
01:19 I noticed.
01:21 And he has a counseling practice,
01:23 and Dr. Jean also likes to onside work
01:28 in community forgiveness and restoration.
01:32 We're gonna hear about some of that today.
01:34 We also have Shelly Wiggins, she's from Michigan,
01:36 she has a private...
01:38 she's an LPC,
01:39 License Profession Counselor like I am.
01:40 She has a private practice called Driftwood Counseling,
01:44 through which she helps individuals, families,
01:46 couples using both talk therapy
01:49 and equine therapy,
01:52 and we're gonna be talking about
01:53 that a little bit today as well.
01:54 We've also got Paul Coneff,
01:56 he's from the great state of Texas,
01:58 which I understand your wife doesn't think
01:59 it's so great.
02:01 But I think it's great,
02:02 and I think it's great that you're here,
02:04 and Paul is marriage and family therapist,
02:07 and Paul runs a discipleship
02:09 and prayer ministry called Straight 2 The Heart.
02:12 He's got a little logo on his shirt,
02:14 and he does this amazing type of counseling
02:16 that leads people that have suffered loss and abuse
02:21 and addiction to the cross
02:23 and helps them come to terms with their needs
02:26 through seeing Jesus in need really.
02:29 Beautiful program,
02:31 he's got so deep and so meaningful.
02:32 And my co-host Rob Davidson,
02:35 who has private practice in the DC area,
02:38 works with me in Abide Counseling Network
02:40 and likes to help all kinds people
02:42 in all kinds of ways
02:44 but he has kind of specialty in the area of helping men
02:46 built servant leadership
02:48 and biblical manhood and integrity.
02:50 So, so thankful that each one of you are here.
02:53 Our subject today is abuse.
02:55 We're gonna be talking about abuse.
02:57 Let me give just some bullet point facts here.
03:00 The definition of abuse very simple,
03:03 it's to treat something
03:05 or someone with cruelty or violence.
03:08 So there are different types of abuse
03:10 in which we can engage or in which we can suffer.
03:14 That includes physical, sexual, verbal,
03:17 emotional, financial, and negligence.
03:21 What about the prevalence of abuse.
03:24 Well, there's lots of statistics out there,
03:26 let me just give a couple,
03:27 because when we're talking about abuse,
03:29 it's a very broad subject.
03:30 But one in three women globally are raped,
03:35 abused, or forced into sex,
03:38 isn't that shocking,
03:39 that's a global statistic.
03:41 What about child abuse?
03:42 Okay, this is child abuse in the US.
03:44 One study suggests,
03:46 "25 percent of children are verbally abused,
03:48 15 percent physically abused,
03:50 and 12 percent sexually abused."
03:52 Wow, high stats there and think about it,
03:55 how many children don't report abuse,
03:58 because after all the home of origin is there what,
04:01 they're normal.
04:02 They don't even know what to label this thing,
04:04 they think that's just how life is.
04:06 And so very few women...
04:07 Jen, can I just interject here quickly,
04:09 these statistics that you're pointing out right now,
04:11 these are the very things that have propelled me
04:13 to help men to become aware what's happening to society,
04:16 to families, and then to be intentional,
04:20 to be intentional about growing in courage,
04:22 because we knew that iron sharpens iron.
04:25 So as the good men can come alongside good men,
04:27 you know, we can do something about this.
04:29 We can make an impact.
04:31 That's right. Amen.
04:32 I really, really, really appreciate that.
04:35 Causes of abuse,
04:37 one of the biggest causes of course is history of abuse,
04:40 people that are abused are more inclined to abuse.
04:44 However, it's not a straightforward situation,
04:48 one-third to two-thirds
04:49 of those raised in abusive homes
04:52 do not go on to abuse, so there are exceptions,
04:54 so that real glowing exceptions,
04:55 and we are thankful for those.
04:57 Other contributors are substance use,
05:01 lack of social support,
05:02 anything that stresses out
05:04 the family system is going to create
05:05 greater likelihood for abuse.
05:09 what are the hopes on both ends?
05:12 Can people recover from the effects of abuse?
05:14 And can people recover
05:16 from the habit of abusing others,
05:18 and the answer to those questions is what?
05:21 Amen and amen.
05:22 A resounding yes.
05:23 There is hope in Jesus for both the abuser
05:25 and the abused.
05:27 Treatments for abusers,
05:29 even sex offenders respond to counseling
05:33 and group treatment and so forth.
05:35 I heard for years and years,
05:36 sex offenders will never change,
05:38 people with pedophile tendencies
05:39 that act out on children,
05:40 they never change, not true.
05:43 They can be treated, they can be helped,
05:45 particularly if there is early intervention.
05:48 So of course counseling group therapy,
05:50 psycho education can help, and this brings me to you guys,
05:53 what have you found helps, either the abuser or abused,
05:56 let's talk about the abused first.
05:58 Shelly, what about equine therapy?
06:00 Well, I mentioned before in previous program
06:04 that equine therapy really helps assist a client
06:09 that is very non-verbal.
06:13 When they're fearful of opening up
06:15 and telling their story,
06:16 they know that something has to get told,
06:19 but they don't know where to start,
06:20 and quite honestly,
06:22 they're too afraid.
06:23 But in the process of just being with the horse,
06:26 we might do some brushing and grooming,
06:29 and during that time,
06:32 myself and my co-facilitator
06:35 we're just to be there with the client
06:37 and just to listen.
06:38 We might ask one or two questions,
06:41 and it's amazing,
06:42 the story just starts to unfold,
06:44 because they're connected to something
06:48 that is there for them,
06:50 not just the horse but to facilitators too,
06:53 just to help bring out their story.
06:55 We were talking about this yesterday
06:56 a little bit how God didn't create us
06:58 just with human beings in the garden there.
07:00 It could have been nice flower garden
07:02 and fruit trees, and humans,
07:03 but he has all these animals in creation.
07:05 They are there for purpose,
07:07 and you're really helping us to see that.
07:08 So anything else that you guys have used
07:10 with people that have suffered abuse
07:13 that has been effective.
07:14 Paul, I could see you getting ready to say something.
07:18 So I want to start with people
07:20 being able to listen to their stories,
07:21 we can have a connection, because they've been abused.
07:23 And when they have negative experiences like abuse,
07:25 they often develop negative thoughts about themselves.
07:28 They also develop ways to protect themselves
07:30 from pain again,
07:31 which end up in negative patterns
07:33 of self protection and addictions.
07:35 So as we begin to connect and share,
07:37 I want to help them identify
07:38 what their negative thoughts are,
07:40 I call it Christ centered cognitive behavioral therapy,
07:41 because we're gonna look at
07:43 what those thought patterns are.
07:44 And then as we identify them,
07:46 we want to share with them a Jesus,
07:47 who suffered to fulfill prophecy
07:50 to be tempted like them,
07:51 to identify with them.
07:53 So we talk about how he was alone,
07:55 abandoned, betrayed,
07:57 stripped naked,
07:58 physically, verbally,
08:00 and mentally violated
08:01 by groups of men empower over him,
08:03 beating him, spitting on him.
08:04 He experienced racial prejudice,
08:06 political prejudice,
08:08 religious prejudice,
08:09 He's going through all of this abusive...
08:10 The gamut of human experience.
08:12 And then he's tempted
08:13 with numbness pain on the cross.
08:15 Then he is, what was the last thing?
08:16 Tempted to numbness pain on the cross and then...
08:17 Numbness pain.
08:19 Yeah, like we're tempted to numb our pain
08:22 when we're in pain.
08:23 And he cries out,
08:25 "Oh, my God, my God, why you've forsaken,
08:26 why you've forsaken me?"
08:28 And then the support system is gone...
08:29 Yeah, so when I'm able to connect their story
08:31 with Jesus' story,
08:32 it gives them a bigger picture
08:34 and they can kind of breathe a sight of relief
08:35 and begin to go
08:36 "Oh, somebody understands,
08:38 God is not just up there in heaven playing a harp,
08:41 he actually has gone through my experiences,
08:43 he can relate to me and identify with me."
08:45 That is so powerful.
08:47 So that you really are effectively
08:49 creating a bond of empathy
08:50 between the abused and Jesus the abused,
08:54 and helping them realize that
08:55 there's fellowship in their sufferings really.
08:58 And not only that,
08:59 but they're having fellowship with the Christ
09:01 in his sufferings, which is a weighty honor
09:03 from what I understand,
09:04 I think it dignifies what they went through.
09:06 It doesn't minimize the fact
09:07 that they were sinned against or abused,
09:09 but it maximizes God's grace and understanding
09:12 and then when we take that information
09:14 and we begin praying, dear God,
09:16 thank you that Jesus was abandoned,
09:18 betrayed, abused, whatever their experience was,
09:20 I work a lot with sex abuse, so he was stripped naked,
09:22 physically, verbally, mentally abused,
09:25 so he could identify with me in my pain,
09:27 tempted with my negative thoughts to rise,
09:30 would be risen from the dead to heal me and set me free,
09:33 so we're praying scripture, that he heal me,
09:35 set me free,
09:36 so I can receive my truest deepest identity
09:39 as your son or daughter.
09:40 It begin, the Holy Spirit begins
09:42 to rewire the neurological pathways of their brain.
09:44 It's a process still and yet week after week,
09:46 they're dealing with pain in a way that
09:48 they're getting hope in seeing themselves
09:50 in a new way through God's eyes.
09:51 Oh, that is so powerful.
09:54 Now you mentioned Christ centered cognitive
09:57 behavioral therapy,
09:58 can you give us a bullet point
09:59 idea of the difference between generic,
10:01 cognitive behavioral
10:02 and what you're calling Christ centered?
10:05 You know, cognitive behavioral looks at the thoughts
10:07 and behaviors.
10:08 So we want to look at this thought life
10:10 because thoughts create feelings,
10:11 and then we have behaviors
10:13 so what we want to do is bring Christ into that,
10:15 so Christ is the power source, He's the one changing us.
10:18 I'm not trying to convince myself that I'm safe,
10:21 that I'm good enough, that I'm accepted,
10:22 I'm actually receiving His acceptance
10:25 to safety of His presence.
10:26 And that's an essential difference,
10:27 so you're saying I'm not like conjuring up within myself
10:29 to convince myself of the truth.
10:32 I'm actually receiving the truth
10:34 that Jesus gives me of all those things.
10:38 And based on his experience that He went through it
10:39 and He's already gotten victory.
10:40 So we're receiving His truth and His victory.
10:43 And so Christ centered cognitive behavioral
10:45 would be cultivating a relationship
10:47 not only with myself but with Jesus
10:49 where as generic cognitive behavioral
10:51 would be just between me and me.
10:54 Which is fine,
10:55 we have a relationship with ourselves
10:56 but how much better to be engaging in a therapy
10:59 that actually connect me with the divine,
11:00 that's powerful.
11:01 Doesn't that bring to light the scripture that says,
11:04 "The truth will set you free."
11:06 That's just brings that to light, thank you.
11:08 And that truth is in the context
11:10 of a relationship,
11:11 which we've emphasized
11:12 in a number of the programs here is that,
11:14 it's in the context of a relationship with God
11:15 and with other caring people.
11:17 It's not just doctrinal information...
11:19 That's right, amen.
11:20 So I want to flip this a little bit
11:22 and I want to ask you,
11:23 Jean, to talk a little bit about
11:25 treating the other side of the abuse problem,
11:28 because I know you work with community forgiveness
11:30 and restoration and in various capacities
11:33 that puts you in touch with offenders,
11:35 people that have perpetrated abuse.
11:37 What do you have to say about that?
11:38 Should we, should we associate with those people or what?
11:41 Absolutely, I think we said it off the air
11:44 when we talked about the type of folks
11:46 that Jesus associated with,
11:47 and if He hadn't how any of us would be saved
11:50 and how any of us would define ourselves
11:52 looking at the cross as Paul has described,
11:55 and I tend to, most of the people
11:57 that I see are still behind bars.
12:00 So we have both perpetrators of abuse
12:02 that I've seen and we also have other victims of abuse.
12:05 How do you see,
12:06 you go to the jail and sit there and talk with people?
12:08 Well, I used to actually run a program
12:09 for sex offenders specifically
12:12 and so it is difficult for them
12:14 to see themselves as forgivable,
12:17 to see themselves as lovable
12:19 'cause I understand they have a skewed view
12:21 and understanding of what love is,
12:23 it's a perverse view of love,
12:25 and oftentimes they have felt like
12:26 they love their victims and they use that term a lot.
12:29 So we have to try to get them to understand
12:31 why that is perverse in terms of the acts
12:33 and the behavior that they carried out in that way.
12:36 And so it's a difficult thing so,
12:39 I think one of the advantages of what Paul is sharing is that
12:42 it encourages forgiveness.
12:44 It encourages the acceptance
12:46 that someone has already paid the price
12:48 and that is a key thing
12:49 because these individuals tend to think that one,
12:52 society is telling me I'm no good,
12:54 My own family is telling me I'm no good.
12:56 They may have even rejected them.
12:58 You know they don't get a lot of visitors, okay.
13:00 They do not get a lot of support
13:02 and so that's one of the main things,
13:03 so for them to be able to look at themselves and say,
13:06 "You know, yes, I've done a horrible thing, "
13:09 and yet I believe that someone has died for me.
13:13 I believe that the God of the universe loves me.
13:16 I believe that
13:17 he has demonstrated that love to others like me
13:21 and so it is a ability to relate to something
13:24 that they couldn't relate to before
13:26 and that is so powerful
13:27 because it means, I am not by myself.
13:29 It means I am not someone unlovable.
13:32 It means that someone paid the ultimate price
13:34 of giving the life for me
13:36 and that resonates with individuals.
13:38 You know, we've really head on some deep spiritual themes
13:41 during this program and I just want to say that.
13:44 You know, you can't really fully disconnect
13:47 psychology from spirituality.
13:50 What's happened in the world
13:51 and to some degree in the church
13:53 is you've got physical health over here
13:54 and you've got spirituality over here,
13:56 and there's this big gap in between
13:58 and then there's this third category
13:59 in the world where the world says
14:01 there's this thing called the psyche.
14:02 But it has nothing to do with your spirituality,
14:04 you go to a counselor for your psyche
14:05 and you go to the pastor for your spirituality,
14:07 and I think that's naive and small minded
14:10 and reductionist
14:12 because everything is connected.
14:13 I want to say this,
14:15 what has happen in Adventism is
14:17 we have experiences separation
14:20 of the spiritual and the physical
14:21 and I think in the process of that,
14:23 we've lost the psychological
14:25 and we haven't really capitalized on the need
14:30 and the benefits of helping people
14:32 with psychological mental health issues.
14:34 Historically John Harvey Kellog
14:37 went this way with the health,
14:39 physical health message,
14:40 the pastors didn't want to be vegetarian
14:42 and they didn't want to observe the health message
14:44 and they went this way and there is this big rift
14:46 and I think mental health was lost,
14:47 and I think people like us are trying to bring it back
14:50 and show the connection between all those things.
14:52 Yes, it's all interrelated.
14:53 That is all interrelated,
14:55 it's just so powerful
14:56 so that's what we're about
14:58 is we're about rooting and grounding
15:00 human psychology in biblical principles
15:01 and you guys have really brought out how,
15:04 you know, God really has this,
15:05 you know, he's got this covered
15:07 and social sciences do not threaten that.
15:10 You know, we can study the literature
15:12 and the research and whatever is biblical
15:14 we can embrace and what isn't we can leave it aside.
15:16 But we don't want to be threatened by social sciences.
15:18 But the Bible talks about the brokenness of life.
15:19 That's right.
15:20 There's all kinds of incest, sexual abuse,
15:22 murder violence in the Bible.
15:24 That's right.
15:25 And the Bible is addressing
15:26 and I'm thinking about what Jean said,
15:28 where these guys listen to what they're saying,
15:29 I'm unforgivable.
15:30 I'm not good enough.
15:32 I'm rejected by society, God cannot accept me.
15:34 Those are belief systems.
15:36 Yes, yes.
15:37 Was Jesus tempted to believe
15:38 He wasn't accepted by God at any point in his life?
15:41 Yes, He was. On the cross.
15:42 So can He identify with the temptation
15:45 and did he take to death not just their behaviors
15:47 as bad as they were,
15:49 we're not minimizing their sin, their abuse,
15:50 their perpetrating on others,
15:53 but did He take all their belief systems
15:56 and their behaviors into the cross,
15:57 even their inability to believe they can be forgiven.
16:00 So now we can bring in spirituality
16:03 into their belief systems,
16:04 they can begin to transform their minds
16:05 and hearts through the Holy Spirit
16:07 and now when they're released
16:09 society's going to be better off.
16:10 They're going to be better off, so everybody wins.
16:13 When we bring in spirituality into our bodies,
16:16 our minds, and hearts.
16:17 Paul, the second great commandment
16:19 Jesus said is love others
16:21 as we would love ourselves
16:23 or as they would like to be loved
16:24 as a matter of fact and that is relational,
16:27 so the health message really is not just physical,
16:30 the health message is very mental and emotional
16:32 as well as the physical, and that's very clear,
16:35 if we take the time to study, it's very clear.
16:37 That's right.
16:38 So could you get into the presenting issue here?
16:40 Sure. Go ahead.
16:42 Okay, so Frank,
16:43 a white man in his 50s comes to counseling
16:46 after his wife passes away.
16:48 He reports a history of severe sexual
16:50 and physical abuse
16:51 at the hand of his psychopathic father
16:54 who is now dead.
16:55 He developed a severe sexual addiction
16:57 that lasted almost his entire marriage
17:00 but when his wife died,
17:01 he knew it was time to seek freedom.
17:03 Frank has committed to counseling once a week,
17:06 attending support groups two nights a week
17:08 in The Grief Recovery group once a week
17:11 and has ceased his pornography habit.
17:14 He has an accountability partner at church
17:17 and is attending services each week and volunteering.
17:20 One of his therapy group leaders told him
17:23 to review all of his childhood traumas with you.
17:26 So what do you do?
17:29 Well, then I'd like to jump in and say...
17:30 Jump in.
17:32 Doing journaling work in the form of a timeline
17:36 I have found that it's very healing for clients,
17:39 they may not do it all in one setting.
17:41 They may start with what I call the charcoal sketch
17:45 and then during our sessions we fill in the color
17:48 and that way they can tell their story also...
17:52 So you're telling some bullet point,
17:54 basically bullet point their timeline...
17:56 Then they bring that to the session
17:58 and then you talk about each point.
17:59 Right and their feelings around it
18:01 and what's unresolved
18:03 and once they go through their life on a timeline,
18:08 then they can draw a line and put a cross there and say,
18:11 "From this day forward.
18:15 I've given that timeline to Jesus
18:17 and Satan doesn't that have a foothold any longer."
18:21 You know and that is the best part of the work we do.
18:25 Shelly, that just reminds me of the very visual
18:29 that you have just put to this journal.
18:31 Not only is it getting their story
18:33 out like you said in their feelings,
18:36 but when you put the timeline,
18:37 and you put a mark right there,
18:39 that visual is very powerful to remind them of what God,
18:43 the work that God is doing in their life
18:45 and will continue to do on that timeline.
18:49 And with the equine therapy,
18:51 one of the ranches where I go is called Story Ranch
18:55 and the whole premise of it is
18:57 to just give people a safe place
18:59 to come and tell their story.
19:02 There's power in allowing someone
19:05 to tell their story and be accepted.
19:08 That's how we show the love of Christ,
19:10 but we don't let them stay there,
19:12 if they're in a perpetual pattern it's negative,
19:15 but validating you know like this man's experience
19:21 and giving him a chance to heal from the past let alone,
19:24 you know, the current problems.
19:26 Some people would say, he shouldn't talk about it,
19:30 it's just going to reinforce
19:31 those negative patterns of thought.
19:34 I don't take that position
19:36 because what I see is so many people that
19:38 experienced abuse are in a system that
19:40 then suppresses that information
19:43 and the abused is required to remain silent
19:47 about it in order to...
19:48 But the Bible never talks about problems.
19:52 I mean Paul never talks about the mistakes
19:54 he made before, right.
19:55 He keeps all of his bad stuff buried, right.
19:57 We don't know anything about the bad thing he did, right.
19:59 He never brings it up in any of his testimonies.
20:03 Only every time he tells a story of Jesus.
20:06 He tells it in the context of his story.
20:09 In 1 Thessalonians 2:8 says, you know,
20:12 we think of Paul as this type A,
20:13 full speed ahead,
20:15 Energizer Bunny nothing stops him,
20:16 he says, "We love you so much,
20:17 we shared with you not only the gospel of God
20:21 but our lives as well,
20:22 because he become so dear to us."
20:24 He could not share the gospel story...
20:25 Without sharing his life...
20:26 Without sharing his story,
20:28 having other people share their stories,
20:29 it's biblical, we call it the gospel story.
20:32 So when we turn it into gospel information,
20:35 we're killing the relationship.
20:37 You know, and when I work with people
20:39 as they start to get healing,
20:40 we start looking at helping them write a testimony
20:43 that what has God done for them.
20:44 How is he identified with their negative thoughts
20:46 and negative experiences?
20:48 How is he brought healing to them?
20:49 And how is that helping them
20:51 share their story in a way
20:53 that others want to connect with God as well.
20:55 We don't have to go into all the details
20:57 but how can they share their story
20:59 in a way that other people can identify with them
21:02 and get hope that they too can connect with God.
21:04 There's a big difference
21:06 between telling a story for the purpose
21:09 of working through the issues and ruminating over it
21:12 for years in therapy and just, you know,
21:15 staying stuck in self-pity.
21:16 So there's a power,
21:17 there's such a thing as over processing
21:19 and there's such a thing as under processing.
21:20 We all know people,
21:21 clients and people in our families,
21:23 in our churches that are addicted to self-pity.
21:26 But see how much I've suffered so the purpose is...
21:30 Not currently but it's yeah.
21:31 It's not about,
21:33 I'm not sharing with you so that I can get better,
21:35 you can help me on my part in the pattern,
21:38 own how I've been hurt and move forward.
21:40 It's, I just want to get attention.
21:42 Negative attention is better than no attention
21:45 and then I can live irresponsibly.
21:46 So I was going to say a good way
21:49 to help people with journaling is to tell them
21:54 to end on a hopeful up note.
21:57 Okay, don't just ruminate in what the problems are.
22:00 I use a book called, On the Threshold of Hope,
22:04 by Diane Langberg.
22:05 I know her or I know her therapist.
22:07 She does such a good job of integrating Jesus
22:11 in a fact that because a lot of times
22:13 people have a hard time reconciling
22:14 if I was sexually abused as a child.
22:17 Where was Jesus when that happened?
22:20 That book helps a person walk through their story
22:23 right out certain parts
22:25 and it's a slow process and a lot of times
22:27 I'll use it chapter by chapter
22:28 in sessions with people that are just beginning
22:31 the process of looking at what happened to them.
22:34 So when you're writing out your story, Rob,
22:36 you were saying and on a positive note
22:38 I would say the same thing is true
22:40 when we're talking in the...
22:42 not maybe not the therapist
22:43 but within the average interaction
22:45 when we begin to admit
22:47 what we've been through.
22:48 I tell people have a one sentence version,
22:50 have a paragraph version and have a page version
22:53 and share the version
22:55 that is appropriate to that context
22:56 so they can start to learn to make social judgments
22:58 and not become energy jittering type of people,
23:03 and so when they do that,
23:04 if they end on a note of hope that can help redeem it,
23:07 they can be honest about their past
23:09 at the same time redeem
23:11 it's socially lead to where it's not a downer so to speak.
23:14 You know, if the client is not used to this type of thing,
23:18 go to the Psalms, isn't the Psalms all about,
23:20 a lot of the Psalms.
23:22 There's so much problems and worry and depression,
23:24 and I'm going through all of this pressure,
23:26 yet somehow there seems to be an end note
23:29 that God is in control.
23:30 God will get me through this...
23:32 And they're connecting with God in that,
23:34 that's why they end in a note of praise.
23:35 Amen. Amen, amen.
23:37 So there is a place for telling our story and, you know,
23:40 some people say don't share
23:41 but then I think there's a danger of secondary trauma
23:43 if we shut someone down, you know,
23:46 from sharing their story
23:47 if they've never shared it before.
23:49 Maybe they're just working up the courage
23:50 and they come to us and they say,
23:51 "I need to tell someone."
23:53 You shut that person down,
23:54 it's going to look like the same old same old.
23:56 The majority of the Bible stories
23:57 and many of them have a lot of dark,
24:00 dirty things.
24:02 We know that secrets lead to sickness.
24:05 Honesty and openness leads to wholeness.
24:08 So we have to provide that safe place
24:10 as counselors for people to share.
24:14 But not let them stay stuck
24:15 in ruminating over and over again.
24:18 I don't deny it any minute...
24:19 No, I think another important
24:20 if we put all of what you all are saying together
24:22 for those people that may struggle
24:23 and we do this in Philadelphia,
24:24 we actually have storytelling
24:26 we teach people how to tell their story
24:28 and so outside of the therapeutic,
24:31 you know, room that's great,
24:32 but there are some people
24:34 who need to talk to other people
24:36 that their story is so powerful
24:38 that they can affect change in others,
24:40 and so the therapy you gonna mention
24:42 with the counselor is great but teaching people
24:43 how to share their story with a group,
24:46 with an audience so to speak,
24:47 all the things that you guys have said
24:49 so it's not reliving it into a negative situation
24:51 or glamorizing it or any of those things
24:54 but you're actually teaching a person
24:55 how to relate what has happened to them
24:57 in a pro-social,
24:58 proactive way that can actually heal others.
25:00 That is so good.
25:01 That's something that I think is important.
25:03 You can actually learn.
25:04 So part of our job
25:06 as counselors and coaches is to teach people
25:07 how to tell their story in a way
25:08 that doesn't sabotage them socially,
25:10 but gets it out there for people to hear.
25:13 Maybe give them a platform that is healing for them.
25:15 That's right, that's right,
25:16 which can be healing for them.
25:17 So, Jen, there's a lot to sum up here.
25:20 You know, see if I can do justice to everything
25:22 that you have applied to this program.
25:25 We started with equine therapy
25:27 and how this is a wonderful therapy
25:28 that incorporates horses
25:30 to those who have been abused, who have really nonverbal,
25:36 they're coming in with not a lot to say
25:39 and these horses have a way of bringing out
25:42 something within them through the tactile,
25:44 the touch the brushing and then you just,
25:46 you just sit with them and allow them the time
25:48 that they need in order for their story
25:50 to start to come out,
25:51 so that's a wonderful therapy.
25:53 We talked about the importance of listening
25:55 to negative thoughts to somebody
25:58 who has been abused
25:59 and how important that is too
26:01 because maybe they haven't had a chance
26:03 for someone to really listen to them.
26:04 So we're listening to their negative thoughts
26:07 and we're helping them to identify
26:11 and understand possibly what they've gone through
26:14 from a objective perspective
26:15 that perhaps they haven't had
26:17 and what you're using is called
26:19 Christian centered cognitive behavioral therapy,
26:22 and this is taking Christ
26:24 into the center of our cognitive thoughts
26:26 and bringing truth into the equation
26:28 and we know that the truth can set us free.
26:30 And this is a really good bridge
26:33 Paul that you've talked about,
26:34 now we can start to talk about the journey of Jesus himself
26:38 and the abuse that He's been through
26:40 so that the client can understand that
26:42 this is somebody who went through things
26:45 actually in my behalf.
26:46 I'm not alone in this.
26:47 The Son of God actually
26:49 went through these horrific abuses
26:52 and so this is important for them developing empathy
26:55 with even the Son of God.
26:58 And we talked about, Jean,
27:02 we talked about how in prisons you come across many men,
27:06 many men who don't feel forgiven,
27:08 don't feel loved and they need the gospel.
27:11 And this can really help them to feel that way.
27:14 And so there's so much more that we touched upon but, Jen,
27:19 I want to give you the last words here
27:21 because I know that you can sum this up so well,
27:24 but I just want to mention the power of journaling
27:27 and how we need to end on a up note
27:28 just like David did in the Psalms.
27:31 Psalms 107:20 says,
27:33 "He sent his word and healed them
27:35 and delivered them from their destructions."
27:38 I want to encourage each one of you
27:40 that it's never too late.
27:42 No one has ever gone too far
27:44 regardless of which side of abuse you've been on,
27:47 Jesus is able to heal you.
27:48 Reach out to a professional Christian counselor.
27:51 Go to the Word of God, get support around you.
27:54 And most of all,
27:56 trust in Him and He will lead you
27:57 on a healing journey.
27:59 See you next time.