Participants: Jennifer Jill Schwirzer Robert Davidson (Host), Paul Coneff, Shelly Wiggins, Dr. Jean Wright
Series Code: MOC
Program Code: MOC000005A
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00:27 Welcome to A Multitude of Counselors.
00:31 We are so thankful 00:32 that you've come to our program today. 00:34 We are a show designed to help us 00:36 all better understand mental health, 00:40 and point to solutions where we can find freedom, 00:43 and hope, and healing in Jesus, 00:45 and I have a wonderful panel of experts here today. 00:48 Every single one of them is in the field, 00:50 helping people in one way 00:51 or another through counseling and that type of intervention. 00:54 So I want to introduce them at this time. 00:56 First we have Jean Wright, 00:59 he's from my hometown at Philadelphia, 01:00 in fact he goes to my church. 01:02 And he is the director of the Behavioral Health 01:05 and Justice Services 01:07 in the Behavioral Health Department 01:09 in Philadelphia. 01:10 He's got the longest title of anyone. 01:13 He's an author and travels a lot with that book, 01:17 if I'm correct, 01:18 'cause he's not in church every week, 01:19 I noticed. 01:21 And he has a counseling practice, 01:23 and Dr. Jean also likes to onside work 01:28 in community forgiveness and restoration. 01:32 We're gonna hear about some of that today. 01:34 We also have Shelly Wiggins, she's from Michigan, 01:36 she has a private... 01:38 she's an LPC, 01:39 License Profession Counselor like I am. 01:40 She has a private practice called Driftwood Counseling, 01:44 through which she helps individuals, families, 01:46 couples using both talk therapy 01:49 and equine therapy, 01:52 and we're gonna be talking about 01:53 that a little bit today as well. 01:54 We've also got Paul Coneff, 01:56 he's from the great state of Texas, 01:58 which I understand your wife doesn't think 01:59 it's so great. 02:01 But I think it's great, 02:02 and I think it's great that you're here, 02:04 and Paul is marriage and family therapist, 02:07 and Paul runs a discipleship 02:09 and prayer ministry called Straight 2 The Heart. 02:12 He's got a little logo on his shirt, 02:14 and he does this amazing type of counseling 02:16 that leads people that have suffered loss and abuse 02:21 and addiction to the cross 02:23 and helps them come to terms with their needs 02:26 through seeing Jesus in need really. 02:29 Beautiful program, 02:31 he's got so deep and so meaningful. 02:32 And my co-host Rob Davidson, 02:35 who has private practice in the DC area, 02:38 works with me in Abide Counseling Network 02:40 and likes to help all kinds people 02:42 in all kinds of ways 02:44 but he has kind of specialty in the area of helping men 02:46 built servant leadership 02:48 and biblical manhood and integrity. 02:50 So, so thankful that each one of you are here. 02:53 Our subject today is abuse. 02:55 We're gonna be talking about abuse. 02:57 Let me give just some bullet point facts here. 03:00 The definition of abuse very simple, 03:03 it's to treat something 03:05 or someone with cruelty or violence. 03:08 So there are different types of abuse 03:10 in which we can engage or in which we can suffer. 03:14 That includes physical, sexual, verbal, 03:17 emotional, financial, and negligence. 03:21 What about the prevalence of abuse. 03:24 Well, there's lots of statistics out there, 03:26 let me just give a couple, 03:27 because when we're talking about abuse, 03:29 it's a very broad subject. 03:30 But one in three women globally are raped, 03:35 abused, or forced into sex, 03:38 isn't that shocking, 03:39 that's a global statistic. 03:41 What about child abuse? 03:42 Okay, this is child abuse in the US. 03:44 One study suggests, 03:46 "25 percent of children are verbally abused, 03:48 15 percent physically abused, 03:50 and 12 percent sexually abused." 03:52 Wow, high stats there and think about it, 03:55 how many children don't report abuse, 03:58 because after all the home of origin is there what, 04:01 they're normal. 04:02 They don't even know what to label this thing, 04:04 they think that's just how life is. 04:06 And so very few women... 04:07 Jen, can I just interject here quickly, 04:09 these statistics that you're pointing out right now, 04:11 these are the very things that have propelled me 04:13 to help men to become aware what's happening to society, 04:16 to families, and then to be intentional, 04:20 to be intentional about growing in courage, 04:22 because we knew that iron sharpens iron. 04:25 So as the good men can come alongside good men, 04:27 you know, we can do something about this. 04:29 We can make an impact. 04:31 That's right. Amen. 04:32 I really, really, really appreciate that. 04:33 Oops. 04:35 Causes of abuse, 04:37 one of the biggest causes of course is history of abuse, 04:40 people that are abused are more inclined to abuse. 04:44 However, it's not a straightforward situation, 04:48 one-third to two-thirds 04:49 of those raised in abusive homes 04:52 do not go on to abuse, so there are exceptions, 04:54 so that real glowing exceptions, 04:55 and we are thankful for those. 04:57 Other contributors are substance use, 04:59 overwork, 05:01 lack of social support, 05:02 anything that stresses out 05:04 the family system is going to create 05:05 greater likelihood for abuse. 05:08 Prognosis, 05:09 what are the hopes on both ends? 05:12 Can people recover from the effects of abuse? 05:14 And can people recover 05:16 from the habit of abusing others, 05:18 and the answer to those questions is what? 05:21 Amen and amen. 05:22 A resounding yes. 05:23 There is hope in Jesus for both the abuser 05:25 and the abused. 05:27 Treatments for abusers, 05:29 even sex offenders respond to counseling 05:33 and group treatment and so forth. 05:35 I heard for years and years, 05:36 sex offenders will never change, 05:38 people with pedophile tendencies 05:39 that act out on children, 05:40 they never change, not true. 05:43 They can be treated, they can be helped, 05:45 particularly if there is early intervention. 05:48 So of course counseling group therapy, 05:50 psycho education can help, and this brings me to you guys, 05:53 what have you found helps, either the abuser or abused, 05:56 let's talk about the abused first. 05:58 Shelly, what about equine therapy? 06:00 Well, I mentioned before in previous program 06:04 that equine therapy really helps assist a client 06:09 that is very non-verbal. 06:13 When they're fearful of opening up 06:15 and telling their story, 06:16 they know that something has to get told, 06:19 but they don't know where to start, 06:20 and quite honestly, 06:22 they're too afraid. 06:23 But in the process of just being with the horse, 06:26 we might do some brushing and grooming, 06:29 and during that time, 06:32 myself and my co-facilitator 06:35 we're just to be there with the client 06:37 and just to listen. 06:38 We might ask one or two questions, 06:41 and it's amazing, 06:42 the story just starts to unfold, 06:44 because they're connected to something 06:48 that is there for them, 06:50 not just the horse but to facilitators too, 06:53 just to help bring out their story. 06:55 We were talking about this yesterday 06:56 a little bit how God didn't create us 06:58 just with human beings in the garden there. 07:00 It could have been nice flower garden 07:02 and fruit trees, and humans, 07:03 but he has all these animals in creation. 07:05 They are there for purpose, 07:07 and you're really helping us to see that. 07:08 So anything else that you guys have used 07:10 with people that have suffered abuse 07:13 that has been effective. 07:14 Paul, I could see you getting ready to say something. 07:18 So I want to start with people 07:20 being able to listen to their stories, 07:21 we can have a connection, because they've been abused. 07:23 And when they have negative experiences like abuse, 07:25 they often develop negative thoughts about themselves. 07:28 They also develop ways to protect themselves 07:30 from pain again, 07:31 which end up in negative patterns 07:33 of self protection and addictions. 07:35 So as we begin to connect and share, 07:37 I want to help them identify 07:38 what their negative thoughts are, 07:40 I call it Christ centered cognitive behavioral therapy, 07:41 because we're gonna look at 07:43 what those thought patterns are. 07:44 And then as we identify them, 07:46 we want to share with them a Jesus, 07:47 who suffered to fulfill prophecy 07:50 to be tempted like them, 07:51 to identify with them. 07:53 So we talk about how he was alone, 07:55 abandoned, betrayed, 07:57 stripped naked, 07:58 physically, verbally, 08:00 and mentally violated 08:01 by groups of men empower over him, 08:03 beating him, spitting on him. 08:04 He experienced racial prejudice, 08:06 political prejudice, 08:08 religious prejudice, 08:09 He's going through all of this abusive... 08:10 The gamut of human experience. 08:12 And then he's tempted 08:13 with numbness pain on the cross. 08:15 Then he is, what was the last thing? 08:16 Tempted to numbness pain on the cross and then... 08:17 Numbness pain. 08:19 Yeah, like we're tempted to numb our pain 08:22 when we're in pain. 08:23 And he cries out, 08:25 "Oh, my God, my God, why you've forsaken, 08:26 why you've forsaken me?" 08:28 And then the support system is gone... 08:29 Yeah, so when I'm able to connect their story 08:31 with Jesus' story, 08:32 it gives them a bigger picture 08:34 and they can kind of breathe a sight of relief 08:35 and begin to go 08:36 "Oh, somebody understands, 08:38 God is not just up there in heaven playing a harp, 08:41 he actually has gone through my experiences, 08:43 he can relate to me and identify with me." 08:45 That is so powerful. 08:47 So that you really are effectively 08:49 creating a bond of empathy 08:50 between the abused and Jesus the abused, 08:54 and helping them realize that 08:55 there's fellowship in their sufferings really. 08:57 Yes. 08:58 And not only that, 08:59 but they're having fellowship with the Christ 09:01 in his sufferings, which is a weighty honor 09:03 from what I understand, 09:04 I think it dignifies what they went through. 09:06 It doesn't minimize the fact 09:07 that they were sinned against or abused, 09:09 but it maximizes God's grace and understanding 09:12 and then when we take that information 09:14 and we begin praying, dear God, 09:16 thank you that Jesus was abandoned, 09:18 betrayed, abused, whatever their experience was, 09:20 I work a lot with sex abuse, so he was stripped naked, 09:22 physically, verbally, mentally abused, 09:25 so he could identify with me in my pain, 09:27 tempted with my negative thoughts to rise, 09:30 would be risen from the dead to heal me and set me free, 09:33 so we're praying scripture, that he heal me, 09:35 set me free, 09:36 so I can receive my truest deepest identity 09:39 as your son or daughter. 09:40 It begin, the Holy Spirit begins 09:42 to rewire the neurological pathways of their brain. 09:44 It's a process still and yet week after week, 09:46 they're dealing with pain in a way that 09:48 they're getting hope in seeing themselves 09:50 in a new way through God's eyes. 09:51 Oh, that is so powerful. 09:54 Now you mentioned Christ centered cognitive 09:57 behavioral therapy, 09:58 can you give us a bullet point 09:59 idea of the difference between generic, 10:01 cognitive behavioral 10:02 and what you're calling Christ centered? 10:05 You know, cognitive behavioral looks at the thoughts 10:07 and behaviors. 10:08 So we want to look at this thought life 10:10 because thoughts create feelings, 10:11 and then we have behaviors 10:13 so what we want to do is bring Christ into that, 10:15 so Christ is the power source, He's the one changing us. 10:18 I'm not trying to convince myself that I'm safe, 10:21 that I'm good enough, that I'm accepted, 10:22 I'm actually receiving His acceptance 10:25 to safety of His presence. 10:26 And that's an essential difference, 10:27 so you're saying I'm not like conjuring up within myself 10:29 to convince myself of the truth. 10:32 I'm actually receiving the truth 10:34 that Jesus gives me of all those things. 10:36 Yes. 10:38 And based on his experience that He went through it 10:39 and He's already gotten victory. 10:40 So we're receiving His truth and His victory. 10:43 And so Christ centered cognitive behavioral 10:45 would be cultivating a relationship 10:47 not only with myself but with Jesus 10:49 where as generic cognitive behavioral 10:51 would be just between me and me. 10:52 Yes. 10:54 Which is fine, 10:55 we have a relationship with ourselves 10:56 but how much better to be engaging in a therapy 10:59 that actually connect me with the divine, 11:00 that's powerful. 11:01 Doesn't that bring to light the scripture that says, 11:04 "The truth will set you free." 11:06 That's just brings that to light, thank you. 11:08 And that truth is in the context 11:10 of a relationship, 11:11 which we've emphasized 11:12 in a number of the programs here is that, 11:14 it's in the context of a relationship with God 11:15 and with other caring people. 11:17 It's not just doctrinal information... 11:19 That's right, amen. 11:20 So I want to flip this a little bit 11:22 and I want to ask you, 11:23 Jean, to talk a little bit about 11:25 treating the other side of the abuse problem, 11:28 because I know you work with community forgiveness 11:30 and restoration and in various capacities 11:33 that puts you in touch with offenders, 11:35 people that have perpetrated abuse. 11:37 What do you have to say about that? 11:38 Should we, should we associate with those people or what? 11:41 Absolutely, I think we said it off the air 11:44 when we talked about the type of folks 11:46 that Jesus associated with, 11:47 and if He hadn't how any of us would be saved 11:50 and how any of us would define ourselves 11:52 looking at the cross as Paul has described, 11:55 and I tend to, most of the people 11:57 that I see are still behind bars. 12:00 So we have both perpetrators of abuse 12:02 that I've seen and we also have other victims of abuse. 12:05 How do you see, 12:06 you go to the jail and sit there and talk with people? 12:08 Well, I used to actually run a program 12:09 for sex offenders specifically 12:12 and so it is difficult for them 12:14 to see themselves as forgivable, 12:17 to see themselves as lovable 12:19 'cause I understand they have a skewed view 12:21 and understanding of what love is, 12:23 it's a perverse view of love, 12:25 and oftentimes they have felt like 12:26 they love their victims and they use that term a lot. 12:29 So we have to try to get them to understand 12:31 why that is perverse in terms of the acts 12:33 and the behavior that they carried out in that way. 12:36 And so it's a difficult thing so, 12:39 I think one of the advantages of what Paul is sharing is that 12:42 it encourages forgiveness. 12:44 It encourages the acceptance 12:46 that someone has already paid the price 12:48 and that is a key thing 12:49 because these individuals tend to think that one, 12:52 society is telling me I'm no good, 12:53 okay. 12:54 My own family is telling me I'm no good. 12:56 They may have even rejected them. 12:58 You know they don't get a lot of visitors, okay. 13:00 They do not get a lot of support 13:02 and so that's one of the main things, 13:03 so for them to be able to look at themselves and say, 13:06 "You know, yes, I've done a horrible thing, " 13:09 and yet I believe that someone has died for me. 13:13 I believe that the God of the universe loves me. 13:16 I believe that 13:17 he has demonstrated that love to others like me 13:21 and so it is a ability to relate to something 13:24 that they couldn't relate to before 13:26 and that is so powerful 13:27 because it means, I am not by myself. 13:29 It means I am not someone unlovable. 13:32 It means that someone paid the ultimate price 13:34 of giving the life for me 13:36 and that resonates with individuals. 13:38 You know, we've really head on some deep spiritual themes 13:41 during this program and I just want to say that. 13:44 You know, you can't really fully disconnect 13:47 psychology from spirituality. 13:50 What's happened in the world 13:51 and to some degree in the church 13:53 is you've got physical health over here 13:54 and you've got spirituality over here, 13:56 and there's this big gap in between 13:58 and then there's this third category 13:59 in the world where the world says 14:01 there's this thing called the psyche. 14:02 But it has nothing to do with your spirituality, 14:04 you go to a counselor for your psyche 14:05 and you go to the pastor for your spirituality, 14:07 and I think that's naive and small minded 14:10 and reductionist 14:12 because everything is connected. 14:13 I want to say this, 14:15 what has happen in Adventism is 14:17 we have experiences separation 14:20 of the spiritual and the physical 14:21 and I think in the process of that, 14:23 we've lost the psychological 14:25 and we haven't really capitalized on the need 14:30 and the benefits of helping people 14:32 with psychological mental health issues. 14:34 Historically John Harvey Kellog 14:37 went this way with the health, 14:39 physical health message, 14:40 the pastors didn't want to be vegetarian 14:42 and they didn't want to observe the health message 14:44 and they went this way and there is this big rift 14:46 and I think mental health was lost, 14:47 and I think people like us are trying to bring it back 14:50 and show the connection between all those things. 14:52 Yes, it's all interrelated. 14:53 That is all interrelated, 14:55 it's just so powerful 14:56 so that's what we're about 14:58 is we're about rooting and grounding 15:00 human psychology in biblical principles 15:01 and you guys have really brought out how, 15:04 you know, God really has this, 15:05 you know, he's got this covered 15:07 and social sciences do not threaten that. 15:10 You know, we can study the literature 15:12 and the research and whatever is biblical 15:14 we can embrace and what isn't we can leave it aside. 15:16 But we don't want to be threatened by social sciences. 15:18 But the Bible talks about the brokenness of life. 15:19 That's right. 15:20 There's all kinds of incest, sexual abuse, 15:22 murder violence in the Bible. 15:24 That's right. 15:25 And the Bible is addressing 15:26 and I'm thinking about what Jean said, 15:28 where these guys listen to what they're saying, 15:29 I'm unforgivable. 15:30 I'm not good enough. 15:32 I'm rejected by society, God cannot accept me. 15:34 Those are belief systems. 15:36 Yes, yes. 15:37 Was Jesus tempted to believe 15:38 He wasn't accepted by God at any point in his life? 15:41 Yes, He was. On the cross. 15:42 So can He identify with the temptation 15:45 and did he take to death not just their behaviors 15:47 as bad as they were, 15:49 we're not minimizing their sin, their abuse, 15:50 their perpetrating on others, 15:53 but did He take all their belief systems 15:56 and their behaviors into the cross, 15:57 even their inability to believe they can be forgiven. 16:00 So now we can bring in spirituality 16:03 into their belief systems, 16:04 they can begin to transform their minds 16:05 and hearts through the Holy Spirit 16:07 and now when they're released 16:09 society's going to be better off. 16:10 They're going to be better off, so everybody wins. 16:12 Yes. 16:13 When we bring in spirituality into our bodies, 16:16 our minds, and hearts. 16:17 Paul, the second great commandment 16:19 Jesus said is love others 16:21 as we would love ourselves 16:23 or as they would like to be loved 16:24 as a matter of fact and that is relational, 16:27 so the health message really is not just physical, 16:30 the health message is very mental and emotional 16:32 as well as the physical, and that's very clear, 16:35 if we take the time to study, it's very clear. 16:37 That's right. 16:38 So could you get into the presenting issue here? 16:40 Sure. Go ahead. 16:42 Okay, so Frank, 16:43 a white man in his 50s comes to counseling 16:46 after his wife passes away. 16:48 He reports a history of severe sexual 16:50 and physical abuse 16:51 at the hand of his psychopathic father 16:54 who is now dead. 16:55 He developed a severe sexual addiction 16:57 that lasted almost his entire marriage 17:00 but when his wife died, 17:01 he knew it was time to seek freedom. 17:03 Frank has committed to counseling once a week, 17:06 attending support groups two nights a week 17:08 in The Grief Recovery group once a week 17:11 and has ceased his pornography habit. 17:14 He has an accountability partner at church 17:17 and is attending services each week and volunteering. 17:20 One of his therapy group leaders told him 17:23 to review all of his childhood traumas with you. 17:26 So what do you do? 17:29 Well, then I'd like to jump in and say... 17:30 Jump in. 17:32 Doing journaling work in the form of a timeline 17:36 I have found that it's very healing for clients, 17:39 they may not do it all in one setting. 17:41 They may start with what I call the charcoal sketch 17:45 and then during our sessions we fill in the color 17:48 and that way they can tell their story also... 17:52 So you're telling some bullet point, 17:54 basically bullet point their timeline... 17:55 Right. 17:56 Then they bring that to the session 17:58 and then you talk about each point. 17:59 Right and their feelings around it 18:01 and what's unresolved 18:03 and once they go through their life on a timeline, 18:08 then they can draw a line and put a cross there and say, 18:11 "From this day forward. 18:15 I've given that timeline to Jesus 18:17 and Satan doesn't that have a foothold any longer." 18:21 You know and that is the best part of the work we do. 18:25 Shelly, that just reminds me of the very visual 18:29 that you have just put to this journal. 18:31 Not only is it getting their story 18:33 out like you said in their feelings, 18:36 but when you put the timeline, 18:37 and you put a mark right there, 18:39 that visual is very powerful to remind them of what God, 18:43 the work that God is doing in their life 18:45 and will continue to do on that timeline. 18:49 And with the equine therapy, 18:51 one of the ranches where I go is called Story Ranch 18:55 and the whole premise of it is 18:57 to just give people a safe place 18:59 to come and tell their story. 19:00 Powerful. 19:02 There's power in allowing someone 19:05 to tell their story and be accepted. 19:08 That's how we show the love of Christ, 19:10 but we don't let them stay there, 19:12 if they're in a perpetual pattern it's negative, 19:15 but validating you know like this man's experience 19:21 and giving him a chance to heal from the past let alone, 19:24 you know, the current problems. 19:26 Some people would say, he shouldn't talk about it, 19:30 it's just going to reinforce 19:31 those negative patterns of thought. 19:34 I don't take that position 19:36 because what I see is so many people that 19:38 experienced abuse are in a system that 19:40 then suppresses that information 19:43 and the abused is required to remain silent 19:47 about it in order to... 19:48 But the Bible never talks about problems. 19:50 Exactly. 19:52 I mean Paul never talks about the mistakes 19:54 he made before, right. 19:55 He keeps all of his bad stuff buried, right. 19:57 We don't know anything about the bad thing he did, right. 19:59 He never brings it up in any of his testimonies. 20:01 Yeah. 20:03 Only every time he tells a story of Jesus. 20:06 He tells it in the context of his story. 20:09 In 1 Thessalonians 2:8 says, you know, 20:12 we think of Paul as this type A, 20:13 full speed ahead, 20:15 Energizer Bunny nothing stops him, 20:16 he says, "We love you so much, 20:17 we shared with you not only the gospel of God 20:21 but our lives as well, 20:22 because he become so dear to us." 20:24 He could not share the gospel story... 20:25 Without sharing his life... 20:26 Without sharing his story, 20:28 having other people share their stories, 20:29 it's biblical, we call it the gospel story. 20:32 So when we turn it into gospel information, 20:35 we're killing the relationship. 20:37 You know, and when I work with people 20:39 as they start to get healing, 20:40 we start looking at helping them write a testimony 20:43 that what has God done for them. 20:44 How is he identified with their negative thoughts 20:46 and negative experiences? 20:48 How is he brought healing to them? 20:49 And how is that helping them 20:51 share their story in a way 20:53 that others want to connect with God as well. 20:55 We don't have to go into all the details 20:57 but how can they share their story 20:59 in a way that other people can identify with them 21:02 and get hope that they too can connect with God. 21:04 There's a big difference 21:06 between telling a story for the purpose 21:09 of working through the issues and ruminating over it 21:12 for years in therapy and just, you know, 21:15 staying stuck in self-pity. 21:16 So there's a power, 21:17 there's such a thing as over processing 21:19 and there's such a thing as under processing. 21:20 We all know people, 21:21 clients and people in our families, 21:23 in our churches that are addicted to self-pity. 21:26 But see how much I've suffered so the purpose is... 21:30 Not currently but it's yeah. 21:31 It's not about, 21:33 I'm not sharing with you so that I can get better, 21:35 you can help me on my part in the pattern, 21:38 own how I've been hurt and move forward. 21:40 It's, I just want to get attention. 21:42 Negative attention is better than no attention 21:45 and then I can live irresponsibly. 21:46 So I was going to say a good way 21:49 to help people with journaling is to tell them 21:54 to end on a hopeful up note. 21:57 Okay, don't just ruminate in what the problems are. 22:00 I use a book called, On the Threshold of Hope, 22:04 by Diane Langberg. 22:05 I know her or I know her therapist. 22:07 She does such a good job of integrating Jesus 22:11 in a fact that because a lot of times 22:13 people have a hard time reconciling 22:14 if I was sexually abused as a child. 22:17 Where was Jesus when that happened? 22:20 That book helps a person walk through their story 22:23 right out certain parts 22:25 and it's a slow process and a lot of times 22:27 I'll use it chapter by chapter 22:28 in sessions with people that are just beginning 22:31 the process of looking at what happened to them. 22:34 So when you're writing out your story, Rob, 22:36 you were saying and on a positive note 22:38 I would say the same thing is true 22:40 when we're talking in the... 22:42 not maybe not the therapist 22:43 but within the average interaction 22:45 when we begin to admit 22:47 what we've been through. 22:48 I tell people have a one sentence version, 22:50 have a paragraph version and have a page version 22:53 and share the version 22:55 that is appropriate to that context 22:56 so they can start to learn to make social judgments 22:58 and not become energy jittering type of people, 23:03 and so when they do that, 23:04 if they end on a note of hope that can help redeem it, 23:07 they can be honest about their past 23:09 at the same time redeem 23:11 it's socially lead to where it's not a downer so to speak. 23:14 You know, if the client is not used to this type of thing, 23:18 go to the Psalms, isn't the Psalms all about, 23:20 a lot of the Psalms. 23:22 There's so much problems and worry and depression, 23:24 and I'm going through all of this pressure, 23:26 yet somehow there seems to be an end note 23:29 that God is in control. 23:30 God will get me through this... 23:32 And they're connecting with God in that, 23:34 that's why they end in a note of praise. 23:35 Amen. Amen, amen. 23:37 So there is a place for telling our story and, you know, 23:40 some people say don't share 23:41 but then I think there's a danger of secondary trauma 23:43 if we shut someone down, you know, 23:46 from sharing their story 23:47 if they've never shared it before. 23:49 Maybe they're just working up the courage 23:50 and they come to us and they say, 23:51 "I need to tell someone." 23:53 You shut that person down, 23:54 it's going to look like the same old same old. 23:56 The majority of the Bible stories 23:57 and many of them have a lot of dark, 24:00 dirty things. 24:02 We know that secrets lead to sickness. 24:04 Yeah. 24:05 Honesty and openness leads to wholeness. 24:08 So we have to provide that safe place 24:10 as counselors for people to share. 24:12 Yeah. 24:14 But not let them stay stuck 24:15 in ruminating over and over again. 24:16 Yeah 24:18 I don't deny it any minute... 24:19 No, I think another important 24:20 if we put all of what you all are saying together 24:22 for those people that may struggle 24:23 and we do this in Philadelphia, 24:24 we actually have storytelling 24:26 we teach people how to tell their story 24:28 and so outside of the therapeutic, 24:31 you know, room that's great, 24:32 but there are some people 24:34 who need to talk to other people 24:36 that their story is so powerful 24:38 that they can affect change in others, 24:40 and so the therapy you gonna mention 24:42 with the counselor is great but teaching people 24:43 how to share their story with a group, 24:46 with an audience so to speak, 24:47 all the things that you guys have said 24:49 so it's not reliving it into a negative situation 24:51 or glamorizing it or any of those things 24:54 but you're actually teaching a person 24:55 how to relate what has happened to them 24:57 in a pro-social, 24:58 proactive way that can actually heal others. 25:00 That is so good. 25:01 That's something that I think is important. 25:03 You can actually learn. 25:04 So part of our job 25:06 as counselors and coaches is to teach people 25:07 how to tell their story in a way 25:08 that doesn't sabotage them socially, 25:10 but gets it out there for people to hear. 25:13 Maybe give them a platform that is healing for them. 25:15 That's right, that's right, 25:16 which can be healing for them. 25:17 So, Jen, there's a lot to sum up here. 25:20 You know, see if I can do justice to everything 25:22 that you have applied to this program. 25:25 We started with equine therapy 25:27 and how this is a wonderful therapy 25:28 that incorporates horses 25:30 to those who have been abused, who have really nonverbal, 25:36 they're coming in with not a lot to say 25:39 and these horses have a way of bringing out 25:42 something within them through the tactile, 25:44 the touch the brushing and then you just, 25:46 you just sit with them and allow them the time 25:48 that they need in order for their story 25:50 to start to come out, 25:51 so that's a wonderful therapy. 25:53 We talked about the importance of listening 25:55 to negative thoughts to somebody 25:58 who has been abused 25:59 and how important that is too 26:01 because maybe they haven't had a chance 26:03 for someone to really listen to them. 26:04 So we're listening to their negative thoughts 26:07 and we're helping them to identify 26:11 and understand possibly what they've gone through 26:14 from a objective perspective 26:15 that perhaps they haven't had 26:17 and what you're using is called 26:19 Christian centered cognitive behavioral therapy, 26:22 and this is taking Christ 26:24 into the center of our cognitive thoughts 26:26 and bringing truth into the equation 26:28 and we know that the truth can set us free. 26:30 And this is a really good bridge 26:33 Paul that you've talked about, 26:34 now we can start to talk about the journey of Jesus himself 26:38 and the abuse that He's been through 26:40 so that the client can understand that 26:42 this is somebody who went through things 26:45 actually in my behalf. 26:46 I'm not alone in this. 26:47 The Son of God actually 26:49 went through these horrific abuses 26:52 and so this is important for them developing empathy 26:55 with even the Son of God. 26:58 And we talked about, Jean, 27:02 we talked about how in prisons you come across many men, 27:06 many men who don't feel forgiven, 27:08 don't feel loved and they need the gospel. 27:10 Right. 27:11 And this can really help them to feel that way. 27:14 And so there's so much more that we touched upon but, Jen, 27:19 I want to give you the last words here 27:21 because I know that you can sum this up so well, 27:24 but I just want to mention the power of journaling 27:27 and how we need to end on a up note 27:28 just like David did in the Psalms. 27:30 Amen. 27:31 Psalms 107:20 says, 27:33 "He sent his word and healed them 27:35 and delivered them from their destructions." 27:38 I want to encourage each one of you 27:40 that it's never too late. 27:42 No one has ever gone too far 27:44 regardless of which side of abuse you've been on, 27:47 Jesus is able to heal you. 27:48 Reach out to a professional Christian counselor. 27:51 Go to the Word of God, get support around you. 27:54 And most of all, 27:56 trust in Him and He will lead you 27:57 on a healing journey. 27:59 See you next time. 28:01 Amen. |
Revised 2016-10-24