Participants: Seth Yelorda (Host), Alfonzo Greene, Lola Moore, Michael Kelley, Michael Polite
Series Code: PC
Program Code: PC000008
|
00:30 Welcome to Pure Choices.
00:31 I'm so glad that you decided to join us again 00:33 for another exciting and dynamic episode. 00:35 Up unto this point, 00:36 we've been dealing with some very tough topics. 00:38 And we believe that God has given us grace 00:40 to really deal with them 00:41 in a way they will edify people. 00:42 And so we're going to do same today. 00:44 We have an exciting discussion ahead of us. 00:45 But before we get to that, 00:47 I want to take a moment 00:48 just to introduce our panel again. 00:50 We have Pastor Alfonzo Greene 00:51 who's here with us from the first church 00:53 in Huntsville, Alabama. 00:55 We have Pastor Michael Polite 00:57 who joins us all the way from Nashville, Tennessee 00:59 at the Riverside Chapel SDA Church. 01:01 We have Pastor Lola Moore, 01:02 who is at the Oakwood University church 01:05 in Huntsville, Alabama. 01:06 And then we have Mr. Hollywood himself, 01:08 Pastor Michael B Kelley 01:10 all the way from Riverside California 01:13 where he's at the Mt. Rubidioux church. 01:15 And I'm your host Pastor Seth Yelorda. 01:18 And today, we want to our topic to be 01:20 is we want to discuss sex within the church, 01:23 sex and sexuality within the church. 01:25 We know that growing up in the church, 01:26 sex is not something 01:27 that is really talked about a whole lot. 01:29 You may get a few rap sessions here 01:31 and there about sex, 01:33 but when it comes to sexual sin within the church, 01:35 it's kind of like, hush, hush, sweeping under the rug, 01:37 elephant in the room, 01:39 that's kind of avoiding and not really tackle it. 01:41 And I personally believe that 01:42 the lack of the church's response 01:45 to a proactive response in dealing with it 01:47 has allowed much of it to come more alive 01:50 than what it needs to be. 01:52 And so we really want to do this thing. 01:53 Now before I open up for you guys, 01:55 I was doing a little history and research 01:57 on the history of sex and sexuality 02:00 just within the church historically. 02:02 And I came upon 02:03 some very interesting information 02:05 that I just want to share with you if I may. 02:08 And it stems all the way back to the Middle Ages, 02:10 where in the Middle Ages, 02:12 what the church was doing then 02:14 was the church was forbidding sex 40 days 02:18 before Christmas and 40 days 02:22 before and 8 days after Easter. 02:25 So you can have sex before 40 days for Christmas. 02:27 Help us, Lord. 02:28 And when it came to Easter, 02:30 you can have sex four days before Easter 02:31 or eight days after Easter. 02:32 So we're up to 88 days, right? So you got some days, right. 02:35 And then you couldn't have sex eight days after Pentecost. 02:39 All right, y'all keeping tally? Eight days after Pentecost. 02:42 You could not have sex on the eves of any feast days. 02:46 Feasts of the Trumpet, Feasts of the Tabernacle, 02:49 you have Enoch's feast, 02:50 you can have sex on the eves of those feasts. 02:53 You couldn't have sex on Sundays 02:54 and on the Resurrection. 02:56 You couldn't have sex... Every Sunday? 02:58 Any Sunday. Wow. 02:59 And on the Resurrection. 03:01 Could not have sex on Wednesdays 03:04 to call to mind the beginning of Lent. 03:07 Could not have sex on Fridays in memory of crucifixion. 03:12 Could not have sex during pregnancy. 03:14 Could not have sex thirty days after birth. 03:17 And if it was a female child 40 days after birth. 03:21 Could not have sex 03:23 if your spouse was on her menstrual cycle. 03:26 And you could not have sex five days 03:28 before communion 03:30 which when you add up all those days 03:32 it comes up to 252 days 03:35 that you could not have sex. 03:37 Out of 365? Yes. 03:39 But that's not including the feast days. 03:41 And some suggest that they were about 30 feast days. 03:44 So you've got 252 plus 30 is what? 03:47 Two hundred eighty two. Yeah, a whole lot. 03:49 Yeah, right. Minus 365. 03:52 Too many days. Minus 365. 03:54 So there's only like what 83 days 03:56 that they allowed you to actually have sex. 03:59 That's assuming now 04:00 that your wife was in on her cycle 04:01 at that time or that she was not pregnant. 04:03 And so when you look at this, 04:05 I mean, history reveals that their basic ideas of sex 04:10 was kind of passed down from one generation to the next 04:13 where it was kind of rooted in Origen 04:16 and Clement of Alexandria 04:17 where they have these thoughts and these theories 04:19 that sex is dirty, 04:20 sex was a part of the original sin. 04:22 And so it was not something that was advocated, 04:24 it was not something that was embraced 04:27 or encouraged even amongst married couples. 04:30 It's almost like history shows 04:31 that the church has taught us to deny sex. 04:35 And then the other in, the world has taught us 04:37 that sex should be distorted 04:39 or that the world has distorted sex. 04:41 So somewhere between the church denying it 04:44 and the world distorting it, 04:46 we know that God's ideal is somewhere in there. 04:48 But today, we really want to deal with, 04:50 you know, the church's response to sexual sin 04:53 and sexuality in the church, 04:54 and where do we go from here, how can we make it up, 04:56 you know, how could we deal with this thing in the church. 04:58 Sadly, I think our church has done a bad job 05:03 of making things that trip us up often taboo. 05:07 So if dance for example trips up 05:11 a lot of people, then it's taboo, no dance. 05:15 And I think sexuality has been taken the same way. 05:18 Since it trips up so many people, 05:21 now there is this clarion call on a trumpet heralding 05:26 "No sex, no sex." 05:28 Hoping that if we stay away from the thing, 05:31 then our sinful nature won't come out, 05:33 and I don't think that's what happened. 05:35 Yeah, you know Christ says something about 05:38 how we can substitute some times 05:40 the teachings of men for the teachings of God. 05:43 And just a cursory view of scripture will show us 05:47 that just in the first two chapters 05:49 of scripture in Genesis, 05:51 sex is there before the tree, before sin comes in. 05:55 God says the two will become one flesh. 05:57 So it's a part of God's original plan 06:00 for His people to be sexually engaged 06:03 with the partner that He provides for them. 06:06 But what we have done 06:07 or what we have allowed the enemy to do 06:09 is to spin sex in a certain kind of way 06:12 that only those who are weak-willed, 06:15 only those who are connected with, 06:17 you know, the vicissitudes of life 06:19 or whatever are ones who are engaging. 06:22 And that's so contrary to what God has... 06:24 Especially if you look at the Song of Solomon, 06:28 you know, you see this high 06:30 and exalted picture of sex, you know. 06:33 Very detailed. You know, very detailed. 06:34 It's interesting because, you know, I've gone around, 06:36 as I know some of you as well 06:38 and I spoken in various locations. 06:39 And I've been very open and honest and transparent 06:41 about my own sexual past, and the mistakes I've made, 06:44 and how God has given me victory. 06:46 And you won't believe 06:47 how many people come up to me afterwards and say, 06:49 "Hey, man, just thank you so much 06:50 for just being open and transparent." 06:52 And through my transparency, 06:53 it's almost like I'm bringing them deliverance. 06:55 And they're saying, 06:56 "Man, okay, if he has some struggles with it, 06:58 I mean, if God was able to give him victory, 07:00 then what does that say about me, 07:01 that I too can experience victory." 07:03 And I think that kind of speaks of the larger issue 07:05 with Christianity in general. 07:07 And that is that 07:08 because there's a focus on how the external 07:11 and how people perceives other people, 07:14 it creates an environment 07:16 where when I have struggles 07:18 or when I'm dealing with certain issues, 07:20 I don't feel open 07:21 with just being transparent in sharing 07:24 because I'm trying to keep up a certain image 07:26 or trying to project... 07:28 Kind of facade. Right. 07:29 Not understanding that all of us are sinners 07:32 and come short of the glory of God, 07:33 and all of us are striving 07:35 to become all that God would have us to be. 07:37 So we have an environment 07:38 where it's about how do I appear, 07:41 it creates a situation where you can't be authentic. 07:45 And I think in order to be able to deal 07:49 with the sexual deviances and issues 07:52 and people feeling comfortable to come out, 07:54 what the church as a whole needs to understand 07:56 and present is 07:58 and what we're trying to do here is 08:00 what God ideal is for? 08:01 And that it is literally 08:03 one of the most beautiful things 08:06 that God has ever given to mankind. 08:09 And when you feel comfortable saying, 08:12 "Hey, this is not like this weird thing 08:14 that the world created," 08:16 that's the thing that gets me sometimes about 08:17 we did not make up sex, God did. 08:20 It's completely a God thing. 08:23 And if it's a God thing, it must be a spiritual thing. 08:25 So why would we be afraid to address something 08:29 that's as spiritual as... 08:31 You know, even though we know that there are still couples 08:33 who anytime they engage in sex with their spouse, 08:36 you know, they feel like the God's not there, 08:39 He is separated. 08:41 I've even heard so far where a couple picture of Jesus 08:43 on their mantle but whenever they have sex, 08:45 they would turn the picture away 08:47 that they don't want like Jesus looking at them 08:49 when they're having sex. 08:50 Well, you know, this is a God created sex. 08:52 The angels are there. Yeah. The angels are there. 08:55 And, you know, in fact, Jewish thought go so far to say 08:58 that when a husband and wife come together 09:01 and experience selfless sex 09:03 which means 09:05 that I'm totally focusing on my spouse 09:06 and she's totally focusing on me, 09:08 when the husband and wife coming together and experience 09:09 the God's ideal for them 09:12 that actually that's a kind of glory of God 09:14 rest in between them while they're having sex. 09:15 Wow. 09:17 It's a kind of glory being that same glory 09:18 that was in the most holy place, 09:20 you know, the same glory 09:21 that consumed the burning tree that... 09:22 the burning bush that did not burn, 09:24 you know, that same glory rest upon a couple... 09:26 And that being said, 09:28 there are still going to be some 09:30 who watch this and say, 09:31 "We should not have sex on Sabbath." 09:34 Well, why not? 09:35 If the Creator of the Sabbath made it holy, 09:39 and then he made sex holy, they seem to go together to me. 09:43 I mean, we can go so far as to say the Adam and Eve 09:46 were created on the sixth day, probably late in the day. 09:50 They're getting to know each other 09:51 after the sun is setting. 09:52 You know what I'm saying 09:54 they're consecrating their marriage, 09:55 you know, holy time on the first Sabbath, you know. 09:58 Yes. Hallelujah. 10:00 But that's what I absolute received all of that. 10:04 You know, I think the thing is 10:06 we just what we're saying now 10:07 like what you just said about that is it's kind of glory. 10:10 You know, I'm 31 years old. 10:13 And, you know, that's first some of heard you know that. 10:17 And but I have heard everything else. 10:19 And so that's why this program 10:22 and it needs to be translated in another youth groups. 10:24 It needs to be said from the pulpit now, 10:26 any time I talk about sex 10:28 I do give a disclaimer to my church, 10:29 "Hey, listen 10:31 this is what we're going to be talking about next week. 10:32 Make sure, you know, your young ones are there." 10:34 But it's got to be said 10:36 because the world gives us their version. 10:38 Here's the thing 10:39 that I think is made us really silly 10:41 I hate to say sometimes as a church, 10:43 we act like we don't talk about it, 10:45 they're not going to hear it. 10:47 They're absolutely going to hear it. 10:48 They hear it on the TV, they hear at school here, 10:50 they hear it from their friends. 10:52 So my thing is let's give them at least another version 10:56 which obviously we believe is the correct one. 10:59 Let's give you something to choose from. 11:00 "Okay, you heard this, you heard this. 11:02 But you don't hear it from the church. 11:03 So now you don't have anything to filter through it." 11:05 And more than what you listen from church 11:06 rather just don't do it. 11:08 It has to be more, just don't do it. 11:09 You know, that's what I 11:10 because I spoke it up at a place here recently. 11:13 And someone came up to me they said, 11:15 "Pastor, why don't we hear this on Saturday mornings 11:18 from the pulpit? 11:20 Why aren't our churches talking about this? 11:21 Why aren't we dealing with this? 11:22 Why aren't the youth groups that are centered around 11:24 giving us a true biblical picture 11:27 of what sex is to be in God's ideal." 11:30 This year, I have my experience, 11:32 my first experience preaching sex 11:35 from the pulpit on Saturday morning, 11:37 we dealt with it through the life of Samson. 11:41 And seeing how Samson's life 11:44 was really deeply rooted in this issue of sexuality. 11:48 Yeah. Big time. 11:50 And after the service, 11:52 there is this 82-year-old woman in my church. 11:55 And she just comes strolling to us, 11:57 you know, she got her walker, 11:59 and she motions me to come down. 12:00 So I'm thinking 12:02 I'm about to get rebuked by this sister 12:04 who doesn't feel this belongs in the church at this time. 12:06 I lean down, and she says, 12:08 "Where were you 65 years ago?" 12:14 And I was just like, "Wow." 12:15 She went on to say she had never in her life 12:20 ever heard a preacher give a treatment to what God's ideal 12:24 is for sexuality on Sabbath morning. 12:27 And it was just amazing. What are we afraid of? 12:29 Well, I mean in I think it's the church. 12:31 I mean, I think that culture is beginning to change. 12:33 I think that there was a culture 12:35 where there were just some things 12:36 that were not acceptable kind of rooting 12:37 and what you talked about at the beginning 12:39 as far as the negative view of sex 12:41 that it's not something that's holy, 12:43 that's undefiled, 12:44 that is a blessing within the context of marriage. 12:46 But I think what you're seeing now 12:48 because what we're seeing in society is a shift. 12:51 And, you know, people of all different faiths 12:54 are beginning to take this up 12:56 and beginning to kind of talk about 12:57 what God's ideal is as relates to sexuality. 13:00 So I think you're seeing a shift, 13:02 it's not, you know, overwhelming 13:03 but you have seen 13:05 more and more sermons like Pastor Polite 13:07 that are just talking about sexuality. 13:09 But you know with that, 13:10 we're feeding into something and let me say 13:12 that's how slick the devil is. 13:13 You know, from this perspective, see, 13:15 if we don't talk about it, 13:17 then if I'm struggling with it 13:18 I won't go to the church first to try, 13:21 you know, and get whatever type of help 13:24 or understanding I can get. 13:25 And we've created these monsters 13:27 where we said no sex, 13:29 no sex, no sex, the more I hear that, 13:31 well, all of a sudden when I get married, 13:32 am I going to think that sex is this great, 13:34 wonderful thing 13:35 'cause I've never even heard about it in that context. 13:37 And so we just have to be 13:39 I think bold and there might be 13:40 some hits we might take or sharing it people say, 13:43 "Oh, that's just inappropriate." 13:44 But at the end of the day 13:46 I do believe one of the number one killers 13:47 for young people in our generation is sex. 13:50 It's knocking us out and is doing it. 13:52 And the Bible says, 13:54 "My people perish for a lack of knowledge." 13:56 Yeah. 13:57 I'm thinking that is general lack of knowledge. 14:01 People who are generally unaware 14:05 that sex is something that God has ordained, 14:08 there's an Old Testament scholar 14:10 who I studied under at the Seventh-day Adventist 14:12 Theological Seminary, 14:14 Richard Davidson maybe 14:15 or some of you studied with him. 14:17 And he just wrote a book not long ago called 14:20 The Flame of Yahweh. 14:21 That thing is about 10 pounds heavy, 14:23 you know, with references 14:26 about sexuality in the Old Testament. 14:29 So this is the God that people are, 14:31 you know, are afraid of, they're not sure 14:33 if this is the same God as the New Testament God. 14:35 But there are thousands of references 14:39 to the holiness and the sacredness of sexuality 14:42 in the Old Testament. 14:44 But I honestly would not have been knowledgeable 14:47 of that unless somebody had gone 14:49 before me and done this study. 14:51 I really believe 14:53 that we who are theologically trained 14:54 and we who are purveyors of truth 14:56 have to be more cognizant of studying 15:01 about what is sexuality about from the scriptural record. 15:03 You know, excuse me. 15:05 And I sat in one of Richard Davidson's class 15:06 when I was there. 15:08 He was the first person I've ever heard, 15:09 he was a strong advocate of what you just said 15:11 encouraging couples to have sex on the Sabbath, 15:13 you know, from a biblical standpoint. 15:15 It's almost like a high Sabbath. 15:19 You know, and of course, 15:20 I mean, it blew my mind, it blew my mind. 15:23 But like you said, 15:24 it was totally rooted in the Word of God. 15:27 But going back to what you're saying 15:28 I'll never forget one day several years ago, 15:30 I was watching television 15:31 and Kirk Franklin was doing an interview on television, 15:34 I don't know if you saw it with Oprah. 15:35 And he was talking to her about 15:37 his personal sexual struggles in the past. 15:39 And when he was talking, 15:41 he was saying how he struggled with pornography, 15:42 that type of thing, and then he got married. 15:44 And in his struggle 15:45 when he was growing up as a child, 15:47 he says this, he said that, in my struggle he recognized 15:50 that this was a right but this is wrong. 15:52 So he went to his pastor and he said, 15:54 "Listen, I've been struggling with, 15:56 you know, with pornography, 15:57 I've been struggling with the sexual sin, 15:59 you know, I'm a young boy. 16:00 You know, can you give me 16:01 some type of something 16:03 to give me some direction here." 16:04 And the pastor 16:06 according to what Kirk Franklin says 16:07 looked back at him, and said, 16:08 "Oh, don't worry about it, you'll grow out of it." 16:11 And when he said 16:12 that Kirk Franklin response in his mind 16:14 was at that moment, 16:16 the pastor just spoke death into him 16:18 because he left that office feeling 16:20 as though this isn't that bad 16:23 and eventually one day, it will go away. 16:26 But what happened was actually the reverse, 16:29 the longer he kept doing it, 16:30 the stronger it became to the point 16:32 where now he's married, 16:34 he's in, you know, with his bride 16:35 and it's still a part 16:37 of his sexual experience even with his wife. 16:40 You know, which shows you 16:41 the other extreme of what the church can do 16:44 is like when we really don't deal with in 16:46 appropriate biblical way, 16:48 we're speaking death to our kids, 16:49 we're speaking death to our young people. 16:51 I mean, how many people say in our churches 16:54 every single Sabbath that we know 16:55 or that we may not know 16:56 but are struggling with sexual sin. 16:58 And we don't say anything about it, 16:59 you know, when we're preaching over their heads, 17:01 you know, then it's just like 17:02 we're not really dealing with the heart, 17:04 the root of the issue. 17:05 And I think 17:07 we could really take some guidance from education 17:11 which seems to suggest 17:13 that children will confide in to a teacher 17:18 what they're struggling with if they see 17:21 that teacher as a positive motivator 17:24 the majority of the time. 17:26 So if I see this teacher standing 17:28 before me every day, 17:29 and all I'm getting is negative vibes 17:30 from that when I'm not doing right. 17:32 What I shouldn't do? 17:34 When the rules of their classroom 17:36 are opposed like thou 17:38 shall not focus on the negative, 17:40 I as a student 17:41 and way less likely to ever tell 17:43 that teacher anything about my personal struggle. 17:46 But if that teacher represents a positive force, 17:50 a positive motivator, 17:52 a place or a being 17:54 that I'm always at in front of being impacted by. 17:59 It's just awkward, it's just wonderful to me. 18:02 I am going to be able to sit down 18:03 with that teacher one day and say, 18:05 "I got some issues, and I wanted to know 18:07 if you have any advice for me." 18:09 And sadly, the church is all too often 18:12 the example of the negative teacher 18:14 versus the positive. 18:16 And I mean, I was struggling 18:18 when you're talking about hearing certain messages 18:21 about sexuality from the pulpit 18:23 because there are certain individuals 18:25 who I don't want talking about sexuality from the pulpit 18:29 because they are not a positive motivator. 18:32 And the messages that they will portray 18:34 will possibly be these messages of guilt, 18:37 these messages 18:38 that portray sexuality as dirty or as of the flesh. 18:42 And I'm thinking 18:44 that if a person is going to speak about sexuality 18:46 from the pulpit 18:48 and be a voice for what God wants 18:51 that they ought to do due diligence 18:53 and be deeply grounded 18:55 and what the Bible actually says about sexuality, 18:59 I don't want everybody preaching about sexuality. 19:01 You know, one of their pet peeves 19:02 or riding their hobbyhorse... 19:04 You're trying to shock me by saying penis or vagina 19:07 and it's like, "Oh, my goodness." 19:09 Or if they're not yet mastering their own demons 19:14 with regard to sexuality, 19:16 and some people have some sexual hang ups 19:18 and aren't ready to speak about it, 19:19 I don't want everybody talking about it. 19:21 You know, people have come to me 19:22 after I've shared my experience with pornography 19:24 and things of that nature and illicit sex and they say, 19:26 "You know, Pastor, 19:27 it's just a little bit too much, 19:29 you know, you're the pastor, 19:30 we're not supposed to look at you in this light." 19:32 And like I shouldn't be sharing it, 19:35 and my response is, 19:36 "Listen, I have nothing to be ashamed 19:38 of what I've gotten victory over." 19:40 You know, when God gives me victory 19:41 over something my responsibility 19:43 is then to turn 19:45 and help somebody else give victory. 19:46 I didn't want to say I boast in my weakness. 19:48 What I mean by that is that, 19:51 you know, as God has given you the victory, 19:53 how would someone else be able to know 19:56 that God is able to deliver 19:58 if they cannot see something tangible? 20:01 You know, we talk we could say, 20:02 "Hey, God can deliver, God can deliver." 20:04 But, man, when I actually see 20:06 that you were struggling with the very same thing... 20:08 That overcame by the word of the testimony. 20:10 But there is a very powerful appeal. 20:13 And the first person I heard it do it 20:14 was Pastor Ronnie Vanderhorst. 20:16 And one of the things 20:18 he did is before he made his appeal, 20:19 he said before I do anything, he's like, 20:21 "I need someone who overcome, struggled with alcoholism, 20:24 stand up." 20:25 And you've overcome, so you will stand up. 20:27 He goes through a list of changes, 20:29 all the different kind of stuff. 20:30 And he turns to, you know, 20:32 'cause this for you that he says, 20:33 "No, you know, people you just have proof 20:35 that God can help you overcome." 20:38 You know, somebody come to Christ 20:39 and it's just amazing 20:41 'cause you have to see that but what He did also help 20:44 that church in not just that moment 20:46 but now there was a safe environment 20:48 that was created that says, "Wait a second." 20:51 I just say show it to everybody 20:53 "Hey, I've had something I've dealt with 20:55 and I've been able to overcome it." 20:56 And that's why I think 20:58 we need to strive to do with sex, 20:59 and by creating that safe environment 21:01 is not being afraid to have a group. 21:04 You're struggling with pornography, 21:06 we've got some experts and people who know, 21:08 we're going to have a support group right here 21:11 at the church 21:12 and people who are studying with it. 21:13 And if you create the environment 21:15 where whoever you see come in and out of that room 21:17 you're not like "Whoa, whoa, watch that." 21:19 But I tell you, people will come out 21:20 'cause here's the thing 21:22 that I've just learned in my short time, 21:23 you know, Pastor Ronnie pastoring, 21:24 you know, for about almost 10 years now. 21:27 But here's the thing, 21:29 people are hurting in our pews. 21:33 I mean, they are hurting bad. 21:34 And they're waiting for the church 21:37 to come out and say, 21:38 "We've got the solution through Christ 21:41 on how to be able to deal with this." 21:43 They're waiting for the church to free them. 21:44 Yeah, it is. And we have to do that. 21:45 We have to be intentional, that's the thing. 21:47 I think we have to be intentional about that. 21:50 It's funny because I heard a statistic recently, 21:52 don't know how true it is or not, 21:54 but it's said that 95% of people struggle with lust, 21:58 and the other 5% are lying. 22:00 You know, so this is something 22:03 that everyone 22:04 whether your issue may not be pornography, 22:06 your issue may not be watching late night movies 22:09 or sexting or flirting or that type of thing, 22:11 but the world is bombarding us with just sexual propaganda, 22:15 bottom line. 22:17 And what we've done up at this point 22:18 is our response has been 22:19 well since the world is going to on extreme, 22:21 will go to the other extreme and just shut down 22:23 and not say anything about it, you know. 22:25 But we have to be more proactive than that. 22:26 And it's the trust factor, that's major there. 22:31 When we think about sexuality 22:33 that is the moment we are truly on display. 22:37 We talked to couple and you sorted all about 22:39 how the Bible is very accurate to say 22:42 and Adam knew his wife Eve. 22:45 There's a knowing 22:46 that takes place in our sexuality 22:48 that shows the world who we truly are. 22:51 So if that type of transparency is required for me 22:55 to just interact sexually, 22:57 then the same type of trust is needed for me 23:00 to talk about my sexual issues. 23:03 And because our church sadly is not a safe place 23:07 for hurting people, 23:08 they shy away from divulging 23:11 the most intimate part of themselves 23:14 and how they're struggling. 23:16 Well, let me just say this really quick that, 23:18 you know, but I know 23:20 that we're talking about Christianity, 23:22 that this is far as being unsafe. 23:23 But there is a move. 23:25 And I believe that, you know, even in this room... 23:26 We show. We show 23:28 Yeah, there's a move amongst Christianity 23:30 in general to create environment 23:34 where it is safe for people to share their struggles 23:37 because we know that, 23:38 you know, since thrives in secrecy. 23:41 And so, you know, yes, that has been the pattern, 23:43 that has been the history. 23:45 But I've seen and I think you often seen 23:47 as well even in our own context 23:49 where there is a move to create that... 23:52 That's my question, 23:53 what can the church do to create to do more? 23:56 What can the church do to create that safe place? 23:58 I think some of the very intentionally although, 24:00 you know, I've seen... 24:01 I mean, make sure you watch the video. 24:02 I mean, this is the part of it. 24:05 You know, I think one thing 24:06 I do every single year in my church 24:08 is we are going to have at least four, 24:12 whether it's prayer meetings, 24:14 whether it's sermons that I going to deal with sex. 24:17 And then out of that we're going to have 24:20 other groups where we can talk about. 24:21 And there's no question, 24:22 you know, at Rubidioux, for instance, 24:27 pastors are going to deal with it 24:28 because I've made a commitment, 24:31 I said there's no way 24:32 that I'm going to let this get on touch. 24:34 And I think that's a part of it. 24:36 And when you do it from up top, 24:38 it makes it easier 24:40 I think to have in many other places. 24:41 You give license. You absolutely do. 24:43 When you are free and you deal with it, 24:44 it almost gives people the permission. 24:46 You're giving the permission to talk about it. 24:49 So what you're saying is you address it 24:50 from the top down kind of like the pastor, 24:53 "I'm going to address this thing." 24:54 But what about individual 24:55 who is not the pastor but they're saying, 24:57 "Man, I know I've struggled with that. 24:58 I haven't have friends in the church 25:00 who struggle with it. 25:01 Our pastor might not be on board, 25:02 how can we work to try to create a safe place 25:04 within our church?" 25:05 Yeah, I think it's just the way you operate though 25:07 amongst other people. 25:08 I think when people can kind of get the sense 25:10 that you're real 25:11 not that you're glorifying your struggle, 25:13 not your glorifying your sin, 25:14 but that you're the type of person 25:16 is very in touch with 25:17 "I'm a sinner and I am in need of Christ, 25:19 and the grace of God is what it saved you." 25:20 When you kind of had that air about you people 25:23 will get the sense 25:25 that it's safe for them to come and approach you. 25:27 I have had situations where, 25:29 you know, just people will come and talk to me and they'll say, 25:31 "Man, you know, I kind of feel like 25:33 you are the type of person I can share this with." 25:35 And I think what that really ultimately 25:38 is it just really letting Christ 25:40 just really just shine 25:42 and just kind of give you that sense, 25:44 you know, this person is the safe person to talk to. 25:46 So even if it's not coming from the top, 25:47 you can start to be the change within your context 25:50 by just the way that you carry yourself. 25:52 We're saying that the church has to be a safe place. 25:55 And we're saying a few things that can take place 25:57 in order for the church to be safe place. 25:59 What do you think about the church becoming 26:00 a place of redemption 26:02 when it comes to sex and sexual sin? 26:03 What does that look like? 26:05 It looks like a hospital instead of a country club, 26:10 that's what it looks like. 26:11 And that is uncomfortable because naturally, 26:15 we are not prone to like to be around sick people. 26:19 And yet we see Christ, when the leper comes to Him, 26:23 you know, the Greek seems to give us this impression 26:26 that he's embracing the leper, 26:28 the kind of leprosy 26:29 that you're not supposed to touch, 26:31 that's supposed to stand off the road, 26:32 a matter of fact, if he's anywhere near people, 26:35 Christ is hugging this man. 26:37 It's tough being around sick people. 26:39 And it's even tougher to admit 26:41 that you're one of those sick people. 26:43 But, you know, I think the main thing 26:45 is Ministry of Healing, 26:46 page 143 just one of my favorite quotes 26:49 where Sister White says, 26:50 "Christ mingled with men as one who desires there good." 26:53 In the first part of that, there it says, 26:55 "Met their needs," 26:56 and if you are in a community 26:58 and your place and you know that 26:59 there are some sexual issues 27:01 going on at the high school all that, 27:03 set up something in your church, 27:05 even if your church is just use, 27:06 make sure the people 27:08 who are coming in are understand 27:09 the same principles that you have. 27:11 And say, "Yeah, we got it, 27:12 people who are struggling with not just pornography 27:14 but sexual promiscuity, 27:16 you can come to our place in a support group 27:20 and we're going to give you help." 27:22 Have that right there at your church. 27:23 "When you come, you won't be judged, 27:25 you won't be looked that funny or different, 27:27 but listen, you're one of us, you're part of the family." 27:30 You know, the reality is we have to see ourselves 27:32 as Christ sees us and see each others as Christ. 27:36 And we are all... 27:37 point what my Bible tells me, 27:39 "Sinners, saved by the same grace of God." 27:40 You know. 27:42 And so that's good 27:43 so the church has to be a safe place, 27:44 the church has to be a place of redemption. 27:46 You know, my prayers at the churches 27:48 will become to this place more and more so. 27:50 We are getting closer. Yeah, we're out of time. 27:53 We're going to continue this next week 27:54 as we continue to discuss. 27:56 But we're just thankful for you tuning in, 27:58 we pray that you are edified and uplifted. 28:01 Follow us on Facebook, type in FacebookPureChoices, 28:05 talk with us, dialogue with us. 28:06 And we hope to see you next week. 28:07 Be blessed. Have a wonderful day. |
Revised 2018-01-18