Participants: Mike Carducci (Host), Lance Williams
Series Code: PC
Program Code: PC000041
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00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues.
00:03 Parents are cautioned that some material 00:05 may be too candid for younger children. 00:41 Hi, I'm Mike Carducci with Coming Out Ministries 00:44 your house today on Pure Choices. 00:46 With me my guest is Lance Williams. 00:48 Thank you. 00:49 Hey, Lance, how are you? I'm fine. 00:51 Excellent. 00:52 Lance and I've known each other since 2005 00:54 and yet this is actually just our second time 00:57 of being in each others company. 00:59 So, Lance, I want to thank you for coming 01:00 all the way from Georgia to speak with us today. 01:04 Lance, the reason why you're here 01:05 is Coming Out Ministries 01:07 we-- we have a ministry about coming out of homosexuality 01:11 and I remember that somebody had asked me 01:14 if they could give you my phone number 01:17 and we never met and we started talking 01:19 on the phone back in 2005. 01:22 And so what I want to do is basically give our listeners, 01:26 you know, your testimony 01:27 and to be able to walk through some of the, 01:31 the journey that God has brought you on. 01:33 All right, so let's start basically 01:35 at the beginning of you. 01:36 Give me a little bit history. 01:37 Well, I was born into a home that was broken. 01:43 My mom and my dad were drinkers 01:47 and I grew up a sensitive introverted child 01:51 and it seemed to me that my father was very distant 01:58 and I just-- for something I feared him a whole lot. 02:02 And I just didn't want anything to do with him 02:04 and it started at a very early age 02:06 I don't know why that's all I remember 02:08 that I just for some reason I did not like it. 02:09 I did not like to be around him. 02:12 Were you an only child, Lance? 02:13 No, I'm the youngest of three. 02:15 Youngest of three. 02:17 Okay, so, you know, there's something, 02:19 you know, that I want to touch on 02:21 the fact that you're twin right. 02:22 Yes, it's correct. Okay. 02:24 So you have an interesting story 02:26 about when your mother was giving birth 02:27 about that could you tell us a little bit about that 02:30 and actually if you would start with in vitro 02:32 like why your mother was pregnant. 02:34 Yes, my mom while she was pregnant 02:37 she was telling me that while she was pregnant 02:38 my father she he wasn't hardly around and-- 02:41 Where was your dad? 02:43 He would be out drinking and doing something. 02:46 When he would get paid he just would do something 02:48 with the money and she didn't even know what he was doing. 02:51 And what was happening was 02:53 she would be depressed a lot and hungry. 02:55 And when by the time she gave birth to me 03:00 by her being in that state it seemed like 03:02 I was born with a lot depression and sensitivity. 03:07 Okay, so who was born first, you or your brother? 03:10 My brother was born first and they didn't know 03:12 that was in my mother's womb. 03:14 So your brother is born and they're thinking 03:17 that they're done and this is the baby. 03:19 So how did they find you? 03:21 I don't know how they found I was in there. 03:23 I just knew I was in there. 03:24 I was scrunched up way in her back. 03:25 Right. Right. 03:27 Well, that's powerful. 03:28 So what was your relationship like with your brother? 03:31 I really didn't have any relationship 03:32 really with either my family 03:34 because I was just so introverted 03:36 and so much into myself my own world 03:39 that I just didn't really associate 03:40 too much with anybody. 03:42 Why do you think that you were so isolated? 03:43 You know, here you have a mother and father 03:45 and I guess I can understand that if they're alcoholics 03:49 and I can see where you would be, you know, 03:53 to yourself but you had an older brother 03:55 and then a twin brother and you think that, 03:57 you know, most when brothers are very tight, you know. 04:00 I think there was just a lot of the drama going on in the home 04:03 and I didn't know how to handle. 04:06 I was just so fearful. 04:07 I was just a very fearful sense of child 04:08 and my brothers they would just argue and stuff a lot 04:12 and I will just observe what they were doing. 04:14 But for some reason I was just introspective. 04:17 Did they pick on you? No, not really. 04:19 Your brothers? No. 04:20 Wow, I mean they really just left you alone? 04:21 They just, yeah. Interesting. 04:23 What was that song that you were telling me about earlier? 04:25 How does that go? 04:27 This house is full of people but nobody's home. 04:29 Wow. Wow. 04:30 So that really describes your childhood. 04:33 Yeah, exactly. 04:34 You know, a lot a detached kind of things 04:36 between your mother and your father 04:37 and even your brother. 04:39 So imagine to have a houseful of people 04:41 and yet to still feel absolutely alone. 04:44 Yes. I just didn't understand my world. 04:47 You know, I didn't understand people around me is just-- 04:49 I didn't know how to explain it, Mike, 04:51 but it's like I was just 04:52 in a totally different environment, 04:54 a different world. 04:55 Just like it, I was by myself or something, you know. 04:58 Okay, so, Lance, I know that, you know, 05:00 we're gonna go right to the first sexual experience 05:04 that you had because it seems like 05:05 it was relatively early in your childhood. 05:08 Can you tell me about that? Yes. 05:10 We were always told not to go down the street. 05:12 My grandmother lived across street 05:13 but she never really watched us. 05:16 So where was your mom and dad 05:17 while your grandma was watching you? 05:18 Well-- when I was at very young age, 05:20 when we were very young age my father left us 05:24 and my mom she worked 16 hours a day 05:25 so there was no one really to take care of us 05:27 so we were just by ourselves. 05:29 And so what had happened was, 05:31 that she would tell us to stay home, 05:33 don't go anywhere or anything but this need for just-- 05:37 I had this, I didn't know what it was 05:39 but I had this need to just have some type of male intimacy 05:43 and affection, you know, just wanting around love, you know. 05:47 And I was going down the street 05:48 and there was this older boy down the street 05:53 that I went to school with. 05:54 But he was-- 05:56 Yeah, how old were you at this time? 05:58 I would say about 10, about 10-years-old, yeah. 06:02 All right. 06:03 And I went to just get, 06:05 just have some fellowship, you know. 06:06 I didn't think about, you know, 06:08 at this time I didn't even think about sex at all. 06:10 I just wanted some, 06:12 I had this need for just fellowship, 06:14 you know, friendship and everything, you know. 06:16 And while I was with him all of a sudden 06:18 he just uncovered himself and I was so shocked about it 06:22 that I just, I just ran out of the house. 06:26 And so what happened? 06:27 Was that the only time 06:29 that that you had been sexually abused? 06:32 That was the first time. Okay. 06:34 The second time was when, well what had happened was 06:38 because he done that I was curious. 06:41 I think mostly would get curious 06:43 especially if they had any intimacy 06:45 or love from anyone. 06:47 So end up going back 06:50 and so then he started touching me 06:53 and he told me to follow what he was doing with him. 06:56 And so that lead to one thing to another 06:58 and I getting pulled into this thing I didn't understand. 07:01 Right, and I think for a 10-year-old child, 07:04 you know, there is already a deficit in your home 07:06 and we know that according to Proverbs 27:7 it talks about, 07:10 you know, the man who just ate a big meal, 07:12 you know, dessert is undesirable. 07:14 But to somebody who's starving, Lance, 07:16 even something bitter can taste sweet. 07:17 And so you identify that you needed 07:20 and you were searching for some male attention. 07:23 You weren't getting it from your father, 07:25 he'd abandoned you. 07:26 You brothers ostracized you. 07:28 Mother wasn't at home 07:29 and so here you were living in a house full of people 07:32 and yet isolated and alone. 07:34 I can understand it. 07:35 We know that it doesn't make it right 07:37 but it certainly makes it understandable 07:39 that this boy gave you attention 07:40 and even though it was the wrong attention. 07:43 Bad attention is still better than no attention at all. 07:45 Correct. That's right. All right. 07:47 So I can still see how you were the victim 07:49 in all of this even though at, you know, 07:51 at a very young age you may have taken responsibility for, 07:54 you know, I shouldn't have done that. 07:55 Why I can't believe that I'm going back again? 07:57 So I really hope that helps to understand 08:00 you're not responsible for being molested 08:03 that was what was done to you 08:06 even though you had a curiosity about it. 08:09 So when did you move in with your father? 08:12 Well, right when and praise the Lord, 08:15 right when this started to become a habit 08:17 going over there to see this person 08:19 our father came and got us. 08:20 He wanted us. He wanted us. 08:22 And but the problem was 08:24 as we were driving to his house-- 08:26 So this is a day you leave your mom, 08:27 you're in the car 08:29 and you're on your way your dads house 08:30 and you're with his girlfriend and her son. 08:34 Her son, that's right. Okay. 08:35 And he was sane something like, you know, 08:38 no son of mine is gonna be a sissy. 08:40 Who was he talking about? 08:42 He was talking about me. 08:43 And was that apparent in the car? 08:45 Everybody knew? 08:47 Everybody was in the car, you know, 08:48 and unfortunately some of who was 08:51 hearing this very intently 08:52 was on the son of this woman that he was going with. 08:57 Right. Was he living with her? Yes. 08:59 Okay. Were your parents Christian at all? 09:02 No. Okay, all right. 09:03 Because I think that's important to know also. 09:05 So what happened when you got home? 09:08 So at this time, you know, 09:10 my father's girlfriend's son he start to seduce me. 09:14 How old was he? 09:15 Probably about-- I think about 11. Probably about 11. 09:17 All right. And you are 10. 09:19 Yes. All right. 09:20 And so how did that-- what did that leave you with, Lance? 09:25 You know, here you've been molested by a child 09:27 in the neighborhood and now all the sudden, 09:29 you know, this kid picks up on you, 09:31 more rejection from your father and exposure, you know, 09:34 to your brothers and then 09:36 your dad's girlfriend's, you know, 09:37 son who's living with you and now he's abusing you? 09:41 Where do that leave you? 09:43 It just, it caused me to get on this 09:48 pattern of start homosexual desires, you know. 09:53 Does that include masturbation? Yes. 09:55 Okay. So that's when it started for you? 09:57 Yes. All right. 09:58 So, so let's take it now, you're about 15-years-old 10:01 and your dad starts this thing 10:02 where he's taking you to bars, right? 10:04 So can you develop that a little bit for me 10:06 because that's really difficult for me to understand? 10:08 Yeah, he would take me 10:09 and my brothers to this bar and-- 10:12 During the day, at night? 10:14 During the evening. Okay. 10:15 And one evening we went there I met this guy 10:19 who was a DJ and we became very, very close friends. 10:23 And for some reason I knew that 10:24 what I was going through inside of me was wrong. 10:27 I knew it was wrong. 10:28 But you weren't Christian you said. 10:30 No. 10:31 But there was something about it 10:32 that you felt was wrong? 10:34 Correct. That's right. All right. 10:35 And I cried out to this person 10:38 since we got real close I felt I could trust him. 10:41 But when I cried out to him 10:42 he took advantage of that and then he-- 10:45 Also started molesting you. Yes. 10:46 Any feelings for him, because it 15, you know-- 10:50 There was an emotional attachment. 10:51 An emotional attachment, okay. 10:52 Not a crush? No. 10:54 All right. All right. 10:55 So it wasn't necessarily a relationship 10:58 it was still an abusive situation? 11:00 Correct. Okay. 11:02 So what's interesting is then you ended up 11:04 moving back with your mother 11:06 and then this cycle even seems too deepen. 11:08 This story keeps going, 11:10 you know, down, down, down, right. 11:12 So tell me what happened then 11:13 when you moved back to mothers house? 11:14 And did your brothers come with you 11:16 or was it just you? 11:17 It was just me. 11:19 And they stayed with my father 11:20 and I go back there and come to find out my mom 11:24 had a sexual addiction. 11:25 And she had porn, she had porn in the house 11:29 and I found it and I would start looking at it. 11:32 All right. 11:33 So, Lance, I want to really point this out 11:36 because we have missed this. 11:38 When you were little boy your dad said something again 11:41 that was totally emasculating to you 11:43 and he said it to your mother. 11:44 What was that comment that he made? 11:47 Yes, it was really a shock to me 11:48 because my mom told me about it. 11:50 She said I was standing next to her and he said, 11:55 "Well you got the daughter you always wanted." 11:56 Okay. All right. 11:58 So again, you know, setting up more distance, 12:00 you know, more of a wall between masculinity 12:03 and yourself. 12:05 So while you're at your moms, 12:07 you know, you end up finishing school. 12:09 What's amazing is your mom just up and goes to Alaska 12:12 because they're paying people to move to Alaska 12:15 and now you're left, you know, home alone right? 12:19 So you started working at McDonald's 12:20 and this is I think just incredible 12:23 how God is able to, you know, reach down no matter 12:26 how far we've gone and tell me what happened? 12:29 Well my mom goes to Alaska 12:31 and so obviously I have to go live with my father. 12:33 But I did not want to live with my father. 12:36 We just could not get along 12:37 and so I ended up living with my cousin. 12:38 Your cousin. 12:40 And so I got a job at McDonald's 12:41 and start working at McDonald's. 12:42 Yeah. 12:44 And here I am a just very depressed 12:45 and start this like, like I said started 12:46 this masturbation cycle and this homosexual desires. 12:50 Was very much a loner, 12:52 very, very depressed and down and just felt hopeless. 12:55 Right. And what were your feelings about yourself? 12:57 How did you feel yourself? 12:59 Just no self worth at all. 13:01 Okay. None whatsoever just. 13:04 So I want you to tell the audience about this man 13:07 that you work with in McDonald's. 13:09 Yeah. 13:10 He was someone I trained on fries at McDonald's 13:12 and he also he became a Christian. 13:16 And I was surprised at that 13:19 and he just glowed with just peace and happiness. 13:21 Talk to me about that. 13:23 And I just looked at him and I was like, 13:24 I was so shocked at the way he was acting. 13:26 He would smile all the time everything. 13:28 And so I looked him and I said I envy you. 13:31 I really envy you. 13:32 He said, well you can be just like me. 13:33 You know, just follow me, you know, just start, you know, 13:36 hanging out with me and stuff and I start doing that. 13:39 So what I find incredible is just 13:40 how the Holy Spirit can reach anybody. 13:42 And what you saw was something that you desired, 13:45 something that you saw worthy in somebody and I believe that 13:48 that was the innate thing that we are all given. 13:50 Because, you know, God says that 13:51 "Before you were formed in your mother's womb 13:54 I knew you, right." 13:55 So this was I believe an affirmation 13:57 you're finally recognizing something in him 13:59 that that was pulling you. 14:01 All right and so what happened then as you, 14:03 as you got to know this man that you trained? 14:06 Well he invite me to church 14:08 but I didn't really have any clothes or anything 14:09 so I felt kind of self-conscious 14:11 about going to church without the right clothes. 14:12 I didn't go. All right. 14:13 But he invited me to a Bible study 14:15 and that's when I just fell in love. 14:16 I fell in love. 14:18 I fell in love with the church. 14:19 I'm in love with its teachings and found out 14:22 that the church is right around the block 14:24 from where I lived I didn't even realize 14:25 that the church that he was going to. 14:27 So is that when you began a relationship 14:29 with Jesus Christ? 14:30 Yes. Yes. Okay, all right. 14:32 So not being raised as a Christian, 14:35 what is your understanding about biblical, 14:39 you know, the Word of God 14:42 about homosexuality and masturbation? 14:46 I don't know this for some reason deep inside 14:49 like we were saying before I just, I just-- 14:51 there was something wrong about it. 14:52 And then as I started studying the Bible 14:54 I realize that for sure 14:56 that Bible substantiated my convictions 14:58 and it was totally wrong. 14:59 Okay. Wow, okay. 15:00 So now next what happens? 15:02 You're a vegan chef and an incredible cook 15:06 and so the next thing that happens is now you're, 15:10 you're steeped in the church, you're searching for God 15:13 and how's it going with the homosexual feelings 15:16 and that masturbation? 15:18 Well, for a while, you know, everything was abated, 15:19 you know, and I was just enjoying this life in Christ 15:23 but then all these things are flooding right back in. 15:25 I think one of reasons why, Mike, is because 15:27 I think some people can relate to this. 15:30 A lot of times we stay alive 15:31 but I came in because I was so excited 15:33 about Daniel and Revelation specifically. 15:35 But we don't, we don't really delve into the love of Christ. 15:39 I think we should do that first 15:41 and really have a steps relationship with Christ. 15:44 Right. Very good. 15:45 All right, so, Lance, I want to jump forward a little bit 15:48 and because we have so much more to get in right now 15:51 tell me about your relationship with this woman that you met. 15:54 Oh, wow. Yeah. 15:57 She really liked me. 15:58 I like her too. 16:00 And so we started having a relationship as far as-- 16:03 How did you connect? 16:05 We connect from I worked 16:08 as a chef in Seattle, Washington 16:11 and we met there 16:12 and she knew a little bit about my background. 16:15 What do you mean? 16:17 As far as my background 16:18 is as struggling with homosexuality. 16:20 Thank you. Okay. Okay. 16:22 And she also came with her own struggles? 16:25 I found out later that she was abused by her brother, 16:28 sexually abused by her brother. 16:29 So what happened to this relationship? 16:31 Well, we end up getting married. 16:32 Where you in love? 16:34 I was not in love and I think it was a big mistake 16:37 for marrying someone who I wasn't in love with. 16:41 A lot of people would ask me 16:42 "Why and where did you marry this person, you know." 16:44 And I think one reasons was I was trying to please my mom 16:47 and also I felt pressured into the relationship. 16:50 I was trying to get out of the relationship 16:52 but then her friends would top back into the relationship. 16:55 Wow. Yeah. 16:56 So again I believe that even 16:57 because your self-esteem was so low, had no value. 17:01 I can see where, you know, like well, you know, 17:03 okay I'm not doing anything else 17:05 and there was a mutual thing. 17:07 You both were afraid of the sexual relationship 17:09 and so she came from brokenness you came from brokenness. 17:13 I can see where it might appear 17:14 that, hey, this is a good combination. 17:17 Well, what happened once you got married? 17:19 Feelings changed. Oh, yeah. 17:20 I mean, immediately as I got married 17:22 I knew I made a bad mistake. 17:23 But for her? 17:25 For her I mean, she, she was denying 17:28 what was really going on 17:29 and she was really trying to hold the marriage together 17:33 but I was wanting out. I felt like a caged animal. 17:35 Right, because she now had fallen in love with you 17:38 and now she wanted the full expression 17:40 of what the marriage was. That's exactly right. 17:42 And so for you that created a lot of pressure. 17:44 And what was that like? 17:46 How did it manifest this pressure? 17:47 What were you feeling at the time? 17:49 Well, the pressure would manifest itself in just yelling 17:51 and screaming at her and just being alone 17:55 and then and my obsession with pornography deepen. 17:58 Okay. 17:59 And you had a homosexual relationship 18:02 during the marriage as well, right? 18:03 Yes. 18:04 And so what happened then? 18:08 That's about when we met, isn't it? 18:10 Now we're about-- in 2005. Yes, 2005. 18:13 I-- you know, and I have to say this, Mike, 18:16 that it was an on and off thing with the Lord. 18:18 You know, it's like I would have this victory for a while. 18:21 Because deep downside I didn't want to be this way 18:23 and I didn't want to have these struggles 18:24 with pornography or masturbation 18:27 but I would go these periods when I was free. 18:29 And so I end up going to Southern Adventist University 18:33 to take the theology. 18:35 Right. 18:36 And while I was there I met a woman 18:39 who I was talking to about my attractions. 18:42 Is that Nicole? Nicole Parker, yeah. 18:45 And she introduced me to you. 18:48 Okay. All right. 18:49 And so, you know, we're gonna we still got, 18:51 you know, quite a bit to get into short amount of time. 18:53 What was your reaction to me? 18:56 Well I was really trying to get you to understand 19:01 that I really want to experience the gay lifestyle. 19:03 I never have really experienced. 19:05 I mean, I had my little flings and stuff 19:07 but I never really experienced it like you did, 19:10 you know, as you explained your life to me. 19:13 And I, you know, I wanted you to understand that 19:16 and you just was trying to get me back to, 19:19 "You know, Lance, it's great 19:21 that you had never experienced these things. 19:22 You know, you don't want experience these things." 19:23 I wasn't listening you. Okay. 19:25 I didn't want to hear it. All right. 19:26 And so then what happened? 19:28 Well, I just dropped you like a hot potato. 19:30 Okay. Yeah. 19:31 Yeah, it was pretty much that way. 19:33 And so you changed your phone number, 19:35 you changed your email address, 19:37 you told me to lose your number and then what happened? 19:41 Well, at this time, you know, what happened was, 19:43 was that I wanted out the relationship. 19:47 I wanted out the marriage. 19:48 You wanted it out at the relationship 19:50 and what did you want into, Lance? 19:52 I wanted to experience the gay lifestyle. 19:54 And did you? 19:55 I experienced it and I was greatly disappointed. 19:58 What happened? 19:59 What happened was I went to a gay bar 20:01 and I so also when I was very attracted to. 20:05 We had a conversation 20:07 and I was totally rejected by this person 20:12 because I wasn't the type of person that they wanted 20:15 and it hurt me so badly, I said, 20:16 I will not go back again. 20:17 You know, it's interesting because, you know, 20:20 that many people that I've talked to Wayne 20:23 and Ron and you and me as well, 20:25 you know, the gay life, you know, it calls to us. 20:27 It says, come and we will love you 20:29 and we'll take care of you but all of us recognize that 20:32 when we went into that lifestyle, 20:34 yes, there I definitely identify 20:36 with many things but what happen is 20:38 we also found that there was a lot of criticism, judgment, 20:42 again not fitting in. 20:44 So we've all had experiences like that. 20:46 My fear when you cut me off was at that, 20:49 I had even warned you. 20:50 I said, "You know, Lance, 20:51 once you get a taste of this you may never come back." 20:55 And still so when you left 20:56 I continued to keep you on my prayer list 20:58 and I thought that I'd done something 21:00 so heinous that to, you know, to let you get away. 21:03 But, you know, what's incredible is 21:06 we're not done with this story yet, are we? 21:08 And so, Lance, pick it up then from your great disappointment 21:11 and how God then started to talk to you. 21:14 Yeah, I have a friend named Jeff Tatarchuk. 21:16 Oh, yeah. Yes, talk about Jeff. 21:18 Yeah, after this disappointment of being in a gay bar 21:21 and being rejected I just went deep into isolation 21:25 just watching junk on TV and deeper into the porn 21:28 and just really depressed and discourage. 21:31 But this friend named Jeff Tatarchuk 21:33 that I met at school he never gave up on me. 21:36 He would come over and just fellowship with me. 21:38 Never condemn me. 21:40 But one day he invited me to a revival meeting 21:43 and I went there and the love of God just touched my heart 21:47 and I rededicate my life back to the Lord 21:49 and got re-baptized. 21:50 Amen. I mean, that's incredible right. 21:54 You know, it's amazing because 21:55 I heard Ellen White say one time, 21:58 she said, "That the same power that it takes to raise someone 22:01 from the dead is the same power that it takes to save a soul." 22:05 And so, Lance, not only were you saved once, 22:08 you know, you brought back to life once, 22:09 you were brought back to life again the second time. 22:12 So what does that do for you so forth now 22:14 recognizing the extent 22:16 of how God would go for you personally? 22:19 Well, I think you might know this 22:20 and I think I touched on this earlier 22:23 that I kept falling and I kept going back to the Lord. 22:27 I'll be okay for a while and I fall again. 22:29 But what has really touched my heart 22:31 and what really caused stability 22:33 in my relationship with Christ 22:34 is that He never gave up on me. 22:37 He never gave up on me 22:39 and has really touched my heart. 22:40 And I finally enable to trust Him 22:41 because in the past I didn't trust Him. 22:43 Well, doesn't that make sense, 22:45 you didn't know how to trust men, 22:46 you don't even know how to trust 22:48 any of your family members. 22:49 You were all in this alone. Correct. 22:51 So how was it that God was able to, 22:53 to cut past all of that 22:54 and actually get into your heart? 22:56 Well, you know, Mike, you said something to me 23:00 that really cause a lot of ability 23:03 in my relationship with Christ 23:04 and that was that "God really loves you, Lance, 23:07 and you still haven't testimony to tell to people." 23:10 Because I thought, you know, what can I tell people. 23:13 I got a divorce, you know, I've been this porn, 23:15 I've been, I just been so degraded. 23:18 But you said something to me 23:20 that really calls me to see how much God loved me 23:23 and I can be used by Him. 23:24 Wow. That's powerful. 23:26 Lance, you know, my insights to your situation are 23:29 because we share a lot of the same thing. 23:31 I came into, you know, church culture again 23:34 still struggling with pornography 23:36 and masturbation and addiction. 23:37 As a matter of fact, you know, the rates are so high now with, 23:42 you know, iPads and computers and things 23:44 that you can hold in your hand that access the Internet. 23:46 You know, it just seems to not only be 23:48 sliming secular society 23:50 but also in church culture, you know, 23:53 45 percent of Christian pastors 23:55 struggle with pornography, addiction. 23:57 So we know that this is a very powerful grip 24:00 that the enemy has on us and the only way, 24:03 the only one who can break through all of that 24:06 is the one that God sent to die on a cross for us, 24:08 to take our sins on Him 24:10 and to also bring us redemption and restoration. 24:14 Isn't that right? That's exactly right. 24:15 And I tell you, Mike, 24:17 what has really helped me a whole lot, 24:19 seeing the past I would, because I didn't trust God, 24:22 I didn't trust His word. That's right. 24:24 But now I'm trust in His word 24:25 and His word now is making a big difference in my life 24:28 as I'm moving forward. 24:30 Me being here right now 24:32 is because I have trusted in His word. 24:35 I say, I'm gonna do this Lord 24:36 because you're gonna be with me. 24:38 Wow. That's powerful. 24:39 You know, Lance, this is exciting for me 24:42 because, you know, for all the time 24:43 that we've known each other since 2005 24:46 I never actually saw you face to face 24:48 until October of 2012. 24:51 You know, that was the first time 24:52 that we actually saw each other face to face 24:54 and this is the second time. 24:56 So I'm just amazed at how God writes our stories 25:01 and at a time when I thought, you know, 25:03 you were lost and gone into that world 25:04 and I thought it was just another check mark, 25:07 you know, for Satan. 25:08 What happen is, you know, 25:09 God let the rope out a little bit 25:11 and what He said is, "You know, 25:13 I've still got a hold of Lance. 25:14 It's not over for him." 25:16 And through Jeff-- say his name again. 25:18 Tatarchuk Tatarchuk. Yeah, yeah. 25:20 He was the faithful warrior that kept coming 25:22 and showing you unconditional love 25:25 and I believe that he needed to affirm that to you 25:28 through a mail to let you know what healthy male love was 25:32 that wasn't sexualized. 25:34 You know, no matter 25:35 what the enemy tries to do to us, 25:38 no matter how he comes to attack us, 25:39 no matter what age that was and for you, like Wayne, 25:43 you know, it happen even in vitro 25:45 the rejection that you were feeling. 25:47 You know, they talk about 25:49 the influences of a pregnant mother 25:51 how that's passed on to the children 25:53 and here this little lost child even before he was born 25:56 nobody knew about him and here he was tucked away 25:59 and he was experiencing the depression of his mother 26:01 and the nutritional deprivation. 26:05 And then even your beginning started off rough 26:07 but the enemy was not triumphant, 26:09 isn't that right? 26:10 You know, not at all. That's right. That's right. 26:12 Do you have any kind of closing comment 26:15 that you would give 26:16 to somebody who may be in a marriage, 26:18 who is living a lie 26:20 or somebody who is struggling with pornography, addiction 26:23 that wants out and doesn't absolutely see anything 26:26 that could help them out. 26:28 Do you have any comment 26:29 that you could share some wisdom to? 26:31 Well, I would just say stop living a lie, 26:34 stop believing a lie of the enemy 26:35 because that's what has helped me. 26:37 Just really getting in God's word 26:38 and really believe what He says. 26:40 When He says, He loves you He really does love you 26:41 and He wants to help you. 26:43 When God says He loves you He really does love you. 26:47 So that was, that was for you profound? 26:50 I mean, for someone who was hungry and thirsty 26:52 for love, yes, yes. 26:54 Okay. All right, this is incredible. 26:56 So, so where you at now? 26:59 What are you doing to begin your day? 27:03 Oh, Man, I begin my day with studying God's word 27:07 and prayer and I also do it in the evening 27:09 and that's what's really strengthening me. 27:10 I want to just quote a song that a friend of mine wrote. 27:15 That is just so beautiful because it retouches my heart 27:17 and I hope it touches your heart. 27:19 It says, its called "So Many Days" 27:22 and it says, "Can You still do miracles? 27:25 You as in God can You still do miracles? 27:27 Can you change a heart that's cold? 27:29 Can You clear on my confusion and make me whole? 27:32 Can You shower me with all the blessings 27:34 You promised to endeavor? 27:36 I know You can because You're doing it right now." 27:39 Amen. 27:40 Wow, that's excellent. Lance, thank you. 27:42 This has been an incredible opportunity 27:45 and we hope that you glean some real truths 27:47 on this program of Pure Choices 27:50 and we welcome you to come back again soon. |
Revised 2016-03-03