Participants: Brittany Hill-Morales (Host), Dajanae Anderson, Keith Hackle Jr
Series Code: PC
Program Code: PC000129A
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00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues.
00:03 Parents are cautioned that some material 00:05 may be too candid for younger children. 00:40 Hello, welcome to Pure Choices. 00:42 My name is Brittany Hill-Morales, 00:44 and I'll be today's host. 00:45 Before we get into this very important discussion 00:48 which is about nurturing relationships, 00:50 we're going to pray. 00:52 Dear most heavenly Father, 00:54 dear Lord, I pray that You'll be with us right now 00:55 in this moment that You will be with the viewers 00:58 at home as well. 00:59 We love You and we praise Your name, 01:01 in Jesus' name, amen. 01:03 Amen. 01:04 So over here on the couch we have two wonderful guests. 01:07 We have Mrs. Dajanae Anderson from Texas 01:09 and we also have Pastor Keith Hackle from Iowa. 01:14 So our topic for today, you're ready for it? 01:18 Nurturing relationships. 01:20 This is focusing on the pre-engaged period. 01:24 After you probably dated for a little bit 01:26 and you've solidified and said, "You know what? 01:28 Let's start this relationship." 01:30 Some people say it's called, 01:32 "We're boyfriend and girlfriend now." 01:34 And it goes with different lengths of period of time. 01:37 It can be maybe a few months 01:39 before they're officially engaged. 01:40 It could be a few years. 01:42 But despite the time frame, 01:44 how do you nurture that relationship? 01:48 All of us are married here 01:49 so I know we went through that process. 01:51 Right. 01:52 For me it was a few months 01:53 before we officially were engaged. 01:55 And I guess... 01:56 What about you guys, 01:58 how long was it before you guys were officially engaged? 01:59 Dajanae, to you from? 02:00 How long was it? 02:03 Two years, a year between being boyfriend and girlfriend 02:09 to being engaged, it was about two years. 02:14 Two years? Yes. 02:16 In our situation it was probably 02:18 more like five or six years, 02:20 just because me and my wife met in high school. 02:23 So there was that moment that I saw her 02:26 and I said, "This is the one, this is the one." 02:30 But then we went separate ways 02:32 and we came back together and probably after dating 02:35 officially maybe another two or three years 02:39 before engagement period. 02:42 Yeah. That's true. 02:43 And that is a reality for most people. 02:46 Some of them start dating in high school 02:49 and they meet that connection 02:50 and it kind of becomes a prolonged period 02:53 because people are waiting longer to get married. 02:56 Maybe their mid 20s 02:57 and based on what your career path might be, 03:00 it might be closer to 30 03:02 and it might even go a little bit further. 03:04 So you're dating for this long period of time 03:07 and hopefully not engaging in sexual intercourse, 03:10 not doing anything that's actually impure, 03:12 but still how do you build a relationship 03:16 during that period whether it's far as a few months 03:18 or you know, five, six, ten years? 03:23 So what was your experience, Keith, with that? 03:24 Well, for us it was talking on the phone. 03:28 Having times where we would be in each other's space 03:30 for prolong period of time. 03:32 Like I said we were in high school, 03:33 so we saw each other as classes were passing 03:36 and things like that, 03:38 but even post high school it took some time 03:41 of just like I said being in each other's space, 03:43 getting to know each other for, if there's a football game 03:46 or something like that going on, 03:47 we may be in the same area 03:50 but we're not necessarily alone, 03:52 but it allows us to interact with each other. 03:54 We were able to see each other's friends. 03:57 There were times when holidays would come up 03:59 and I would get an invitation to come to her family's house 04:02 or vice versa so now we're around the family. 04:04 And so we're building that relationship to be able to say, 04:08 "Hey, could this go further?" 04:10 And those things are important 04:12 because you don't want those surprises on the backend 04:15 after you've already said, "I do," 04:16 after you've already got invested. 04:18 Then you found out, 04:20 "Oh, that's going to be difficult being around family," 04:22 because then that makes the relationship difficult 04:24 as well. 04:26 I don't have a whole lot to add to that to what he said 04:30 because with my husband and I, 04:33 that's what our relationship looked like as well. 04:36 So we met at Oakwood and we were friends 04:40 and but when we begin the, 04:43 "Okay, we're officially in a relationship," 04:46 some of that was at Oakwood 04:48 but then he left to go to Andrews 04:50 and I was still in, at Oakwood, 04:53 saw a lot of the nurturing of relationship took place 04:57 over the phone. 04:58 Or I would drive to Andrews 05:01 or he would drive down to Oakwood for holidays. 05:06 I think he came down for my birthday, 05:08 I went out for his birthday, you know, things like that. 05:11 But or just, just because 05:13 so in terms of maintaining the relationship builder 05:17 or some things that we did 05:18 which are similar to hanging out in groups. 05:22 When we go, we go over there, he has a roommate, 05:25 I had roommates, we're all hanging out 05:27 in the front room talking, 05:28 or we're leaving to go out to eat, 05:31 or go to the beach or whatever it is. 05:34 So that's similar, very similar to Keith's experience. 05:38 Yeah, I'm hearing you maintaining boundaries... 05:40 Yes. 05:41 During that period, trying to make sure 05:43 you have a certain timeframe. 05:45 I know for us it had to be after a certain hour, 05:48 you can't be at my home anymore, right? 05:50 Yes, yes, yes. Right. Right. 05:51 Certain times, like you need to call before you come over, 05:55 or different things. 05:57 We can't hug for too long, we can't be cuddling, 05:59 kind of have to sit on that side of the couch, 06:01 I sit on this side of the couch if you're going to be here 06:03 just so we could focus on truly knowing each other 06:08 during that period of time. 06:10 And I think that's a... 06:11 I think that's very, very, very important. 06:14 And being completely honest and raw and open, there is a... 06:19 It takes both people to set those boundaries 06:24 because there may be times and there was, 06:26 there were times when I would be at his apartment, 06:29 he has a roommate and we're out on the couch 06:31 and I'm like, "Oh, I'm just going to go to sleep 06:32 on the couch and then, you know, 06:34 you can go to sleep in your room 06:36 and you can take me back in the morning." 06:37 And he firmly like, "No, I'm taking you home. 06:41 I'm taking you home. 06:44 Daj, we're not doing that." 06:45 I'm like, "What, you're going to be in your own 06:47 and I'm going to be on the couch..." 06:48 He's like, "No, no, no. 06:49 I'm taking you home," and you know, vice versa. 06:52 So there's times when you have to look 06:56 at the big picture of your relationship and your... 07:00 You want to be in the relationship long term, 07:02 you wanted to be something 07:04 that's acceptable in the sight of the Lord. 07:06 And so you say, "In the grand scheme of things, 07:09 I'm going to put aside how I feel, 07:12 what my emotions are, not that they're unimportant 07:15 but they're not going to drive me to make a big mistake 07:19 that then makes 07:20 the relationship something toxic." 07:22 So definitely it's taken, it takes two though 07:26 because sometimes one person may be weak 07:28 and the other person has to be strong 07:30 and then in another situation, 07:31 you know, the roles may reverse, so definitely. 07:36 And you begin to see the... 07:37 If there's an individual 07:39 and Paul talks about this war in the flesh 07:42 that we have from time to time, and if there's an individual 07:45 who is stronger when another person is weak, 07:47 that's important, right? 07:49 And so you see like this person really cares about me, 07:51 they could have taken advantage of me 07:53 when I was at my weakest point, 07:54 but they were willing to be a stand up person and say, 07:57 "Listen, we're going to stand on principle, 07:58 we're going to stand on what God expects for us." 08:00 And then you're able to see, "You know what? 08:02 This maybe someone 08:04 that I can spend the rest of my life with 08:06 because if they have that type of care for me now..." 08:08 Right. Right? 08:09 "When we're just boyfriend and girlfriend, 08:11 then I know when we take it to the next level 08:14 that they're also going to show this type of care." 08:17 It was, my wife and I, 08:19 one thing that we always talk about 08:20 that we remember early on we would just... 08:22 I would pull up to her house and we would sit out in the car 08:25 and we would just talk for hours, just talk for hours 08:28 and she talked about how that meant a lot 08:30 because I'm saying, "Hey, we're just going to talk in the car, 08:33 just spend time, listen to the radio," 08:37 song might come on that we both like and we just hear, 08:39 we're just talking and that's important, 08:41 the talking component is important. 08:43 So I would tell individuals not to shy away 08:46 from those long conversations on the phone. 08:48 One thing I remember is those times 08:49 when we've been on the phone 08:51 till 2, 3 o'clock in the morning 08:52 and I'm saying, "You hang up," 08:54 and she's like, "No, you hang up." 08:55 That's cute. 08:56 I know that she's falling asleep 08:58 and I'm like, "Are you sleeping?" 08:59 She wakes, "No, I'm not sleeping." 09:00 She would ask me the same. 09:02 But those things are important 09:03 because now we're vision casting, 09:05 we're imagining what things are going to be like 09:06 and we're really getting to know each other. 09:07 If you have a person who can never take your phone call, 09:09 can never talk to you for more than ten minutes 09:11 because their life is so busy, 09:13 then when you take it to the next level 09:16 life is going to still be too busy... 09:18 Right. And it's not going to work out. 09:20 So it's important. Right, right. 09:21 So you want someone 09:23 who makes your relationship a priority... 09:24 Yes. 09:25 Because if it's not a priority now... 09:27 Yes. 09:28 How will it be a priority when there's kids on the table. 09:29 Yes. Right. 09:31 There is work schedules, 09:32 there's all this different stuff. 09:33 And what I'm also hearing is we all met our spouses 09:36 at different parts of our lives. 09:38 For Keith, it was during high school, Dajanae, 09:40 that was during your undergrad, 09:42 for me I met my husband in graduate school. 09:44 Yeah. 09:45 And no matter the level, 09:47 you have had a little bit more freedom 09:49 but you have that... 09:50 With the freedom is a high level of responsibility. 09:52 Yes. And trying to maintain boundaries. 09:56 Another element is meeting the family, 09:58 that's another thing 09:59 that happens during the pre-engagement process. 10:03 Yes, yes, yes, definitely. 10:05 That is very, very important. 10:08 Because the reality, when we went through our pre... 10:12 We went through pre-engagement counseling with the Frasers 10:17 at Oakwood in Alabama A&M and they... 10:23 Meeting the family, there was... 10:24 There's an understanding that when you marry someone, 10:27 you're marrying the issues of their family as well. 10:31 Yes. 10:32 So even if I am distant from, 10:35 look by location I'm distant from my family 10:38 or even if I appose some things 10:42 that happen within my family, 10:44 I'm still going to bring those things 10:46 into my marriage relationship. 10:48 Some of those things may be positive family values, 10:51 things like honesty, things like order, 10:55 you know, there are positive things 10:57 as well as maybe some negative things. 10:59 And so one thing that we went over is the things 11:03 that we talk about, we say, 11:05 oh, my mom, or my dad, or my brother, 11:07 or my sister, or my grandparents 11:09 whatever may be aunt, uncle 11:11 and you're complaining about it, 11:13 don't think that you're... 11:15 The person that you're in a relationship with, 11:18 the person that you're thinking about getting engaged 11:21 to are not... 11:22 That they don't hold some of those things 11:24 that bother them about their family. 11:27 And so meeting the family 11:28 definitely gives you the picture 11:31 of who this person is holistically. 11:34 You start to, you start to see, oh, that's why I like, 11:37 my husband he's funny, he's funny, 11:41 he's a jokester especially 11:43 when we're around a lot of people, he's silly. 11:46 And when I met his mom, his mom is the exact same way, 11:50 his older brother is a clown like so silly. 11:54 And so when you take... 11:56 He makes so much more sense to me when I met his family. 12:00 So definitely I would agree with that. 12:03 And then you have to also consider holidays, 12:07 these are going to be people 12:08 I'm around for the holidays and... 12:10 Your favorite time of the year. Yes, I know. 12:12 And so imagine, you know, when Thanksgiving is coming, 12:15 you know, when these holidays are coming, 12:17 and so if you don't like being around the family, 12:19 you're dreading now. 12:21 This time that's supposed to be a joyous experience, 12:23 and I was talking to my son about this 12:25 as he's in a relationship 12:27 and he's trying to say my relationship, 12:30 friendship, friendship, 12:32 but as he's going through this process, 12:35 I'm like, "Listen, man, you want to make sure 12:37 there are certain things that we do in the family, right? 12:39 So we play games, we're big on game nights 12:41 and things like that. 12:43 And so, if you're in a relationship 12:45 or friendship with someone 12:46 that your sister doesn't like or this person doesn't like, 12:49 your mother or they don't like your dad, 12:50 then it makes it difficult for you to invite them 12:52 over to the house, right? 12:54 And so now you're deciding and this is friendship stage, 12:58 so imagine at marriage stage, 12:59 if you can't get along with these people, 13:02 it's going to be very difficult for you to want to be 13:05 around them later." 13:06 And so now we're having this conversation 13:08 when we're talking about marriage now. 13:10 We're having this conversation of well maybe for this holiday 13:13 I don't want to go to a family or you go and I'll stay 13:16 or I'll go see my... 13:17 And so now, you're seeing this division begin 13:20 to form over something 13:21 that could have been checked out even before. 13:24 You said I do and went to the next step. 13:26 Right. 13:27 And that is a question to ask for, 13:29 during this nurturing part of your relationship. 13:33 Who should be involved in helping you determine 13:36 that I should go further, that we should get engaged 13:39 that we should get married 13:41 because what if your family members 13:43 who are causing this tension are not healthy 13:47 and what they're trying to prevent 13:49 is actually something that's for the best. 13:52 So who should get involved in this whole planning process? 13:55 Who should I ask if I was not married? 13:58 Well, that's tough. Go ahead, you can go. 14:00 Yes, I think we were both about to say the same thing that is 14:04 that there's not a one size fits all. 14:06 I would say there's not a one size fits all 14:09 because there are some families 14:12 that know how to love their child or love their, 14:17 whatever it is, love you. 14:19 So my family knows how to love me 14:22 but may not know how to tell me that I'm wrong 14:27 or tell me that maybe my family is so attached to me 14:32 that they don't want me to get married 14:33 because they want me to stay in the family, 14:35 and getting married may mean going somewhere else. 14:38 Or maybe my family is more realistic 14:42 and able to process, 14:44 "Okay, this is a natural part 14:46 and so me looking at this person is to make sure 14:51 that they will take care of my loved one," 14:55 i.e. me, i.e. you, i.e. Keith. 14:57 But though the reality is that we do not 15:00 or we don't have perfect families. 15:03 And so the... 15:04 There is... 15:05 That's a difficult question, I know for myself, 15:10 I was not sure 15:12 just because of how my family, my family is. 15:18 I was not sure how they will receive Ephraim 15:21 before we got engaged, 15:23 and so there I prepare him, like, This is what my family. 15:28 Okay, your family is like this, 15:29 well, my family is like this..." 15:31 Kind of thing, so definitely prepared him 15:35 before he met them. 15:36 And but for, you know, something better happened 15:42 than what it was that I expected. 15:44 And so I was definitely blessed by that reality. 15:49 My father did give his blessing for even to propose, my mother, 15:55 you know, was posting all on Facebook 15:58 about how great of a man Ephraim 16:00 was after meeting him, you know, only twice. 16:03 So I was really blessed by that because that was the first time 16:06 that my parents had ever accepted anybody 16:08 that I was interested in. 16:12 And so that was definitely a blessing, 16:14 but I was prepared for the opposite reality. 16:18 I was prepared for the possibility 16:21 that if Ephraim wouldn't be received 16:22 and it wouldn't have anything to do with him necessarily 16:26 but more so of just my family structure. 16:29 That's a good point and I... 16:33 For lack of a better phrase, 16:34 I will say consider all counsel, 16:37 but you don't necessarily have to take all counsel. 16:39 Yes, yes, yes. 16:40 So when I was dating my wife, 16:43 the life that I had didn't necessarily point to pastor 16:48 in the future, right? 16:49 So her mother was speaking to her of some concerns 16:52 that she had of some things that she had experienced. 16:56 And also there are ladies who come from households 17:00 where there's all single ladies, right? 17:02 So they've been burned, they've been broken, 17:05 they've gone through these experiences, 17:07 so some young ladies are raised in houses 17:10 from what I understand where every guy is a bad guy, 17:12 right? 17:13 I was raised in that household. 17:14 So that makes it difficult, right? 17:17 And so even for guys, some guys could be raised in households 17:22 where they're taught to only expect 17:25 certain things from women. 17:26 So you can look at your scope, consider the individuals 17:31 that you're receiving that counsel from 17:32 but also continue to build that relationship, right, 17:35 because everybody is not the same. 17:37 It's possible that this person may have these characteristics, 17:40 these traits and it's possible for God to work with them 17:44 to the point where now looking down the line, 17:48 early on my mother-in-law was, 17:50 she wasn't the biggest fan of mine 17:52 but now, I mean we love each other, 17:54 therefore we're very, very good friends 17:56 but that takes time and that takes a process 17:59 and that takes you saying, you know what? 18:00 I'm going to get to know this person, 18:03 but you have to be real with yourself too and say, 18:05 "You know what? 18:06 There may be some things about this individual 18:08 even though I like them 18:10 that they could be deal breakers," right? 18:13 And you have to be serious enough about this thing 18:17 to be able to say, "You know what? 18:18 Even though I like you, 18:19 even though we have fun together, 18:21 maybe it's best that we be friends 18:22 instead of going to the next step." 18:25 So just consider all counsel. 18:28 Individuals that have gone before us 18:29 have a certain experience and wisdom 18:31 that we should definitely consider, 18:34 but that doesn't mean that we have to implement everything 18:37 that everybody tells us. 18:38 Right. 18:39 And I wouldn't, I don't think any of us 18:42 are saying that you should be rebellious, right? 18:46 That's definitely not the point that we're making 18:49 because sometimes the people around us see things 18:52 that we can't see. 18:54 Because we're too much in love bite. 18:55 Because we're in love, we're infatuated... 18:58 It's perfect. 19:00 Yes, right or she's perfect and that's not necessarily, 19:03 you know, but that's not, it's not necessarily the case. 19:06 And so there's definitely wisdom 19:09 like what you're saying in counsel, 19:11 there is not always... 19:12 You don't always receive because there are situations, 19:15 and I think I'm just kind of defining 19:18 in my own way something that you had already said. 19:20 People are sometimes speaking from their own experience 19:25 and that can be a good thing and that can be a bad thing. 19:29 Many times if someone is speaking 19:31 from their experience without fully considering 19:33 who you are as a person 19:35 and who this other person is in relationship to you, 19:38 then it's very dangerous. 19:39 Very, very, very dangerous 19:41 because just because you were hurt 19:43 and you were broken does not mean that 19:45 that's going to happen between me and my husband 19:50 or you and your wife, 19:52 you know, for the man that is dealing, 19:54 that's not or you know, 19:56 the boyfriend or girlfriend or fiancé. 19:58 And sometimes people 20:00 are speaking out of their brokenness 20:01 and they have not yet healed, 20:03 and so any relationship possibility 20:05 that they see is red flag, red flag 20:08 because they still have wounds 20:09 that they haven't addressed properly. 20:11 And that goes into another question of I'm scared, 20:15 I don't want to progress into a relationship not knowing 20:19 if we are going to get engaged, if we are going to get married. 20:23 Maybe the person might say, 20:25 I've already dated once or twice 20:27 before we were going to deposit it 20:29 was two, three years to ask to do it again. 20:32 How do I know it's worth it 20:33 or hearing experience of others, 20:37 do I take the risk? 20:40 What do you say, do I take the risk? 20:41 Should I push forward and even attempt at this thing? 20:46 You're going to say something. 20:47 I will say yes, but just be careful in regards 20:51 to how far you allow things to go. 20:56 You'd never want to go into a new relationship 21:00 carrying old baggage with you, right? 21:02 So you have these expectations, 21:04 you have these previous experiences 21:06 and so the one moment that individual does something, 21:08 you go, "Here we go again," right? 21:11 But at the same time we must enter into these things 21:14 or individuals must enter into these relationships 21:17 cautiously understanding that, "Hey listen, this is my limit, 21:21 this is where I'm going with this thing." 21:24 But also be free to allow for... 21:26 To build relationship with individuals. 21:29 It's a really tough balance but I wouldn't say that 21:33 if you've had three bad relationships 21:36 then what God is saying is that 21:38 you should be single for the rest your life. 21:39 Right. That's not, that's not always the case. 21:41 Some people do have the gift of singleness 21:45 but not everybody has that gift. 21:46 Right. 21:48 So we just need to be cautious 21:50 and we need to start every relationship coming in 21:53 and have, so you learn from your previous relationships, 21:55 you learn how to have conversations, 21:58 how to have communication, 21:59 how to set boundaries and things like that. 22:00 But also allow room for that thing to grow 22:04 because if you don't, then you never go further 22:07 than the level of your previous relationship 22:10 and that makes it difficult. 22:11 Yeah, I like what you were saying, 22:13 you have to evaluate the fear. 22:16 If you're looking at this person 22:17 and you're automatically fearful 22:19 of being in relationship with them 22:21 determine what that source is. 22:22 Is it because this person is actually no good for you, 22:25 you probably like them for reasons that are not pure, 22:29 you know, don't go into that relationship. 22:31 But if the fear is you're hearing 22:33 maybe the mother's voice or you remember 22:35 what daddy did or stuff like that 22:37 and that's what fearful for you or what happened to your sister 22:40 or your brother, 22:41 then you need to probably seek some help for that... 22:43 Right. 22:45 Because you don't want to be hinder 22:46 and you also don't want to approach your relationship 22:49 where this person is giving their all 22:51 and you're just a huge wall 22:53 that they just cannot break through, 22:56 and then they're broken 22:58 because you didn't really give them 22:59 an opportunity or a chance... 23:01 Right. 23:02 And that's important for nurturing 23:04 that relationship, give them an opportunity, 23:06 give a person a chance to show you 23:08 what's in their heart. 23:11 But also we also want people to be like, 23:12 "Okay, I'm just going to jump from one issue to another..." 23:14 Right, right, right. 23:15 No, you need to sit down, you're like, 23:17 "Okay, who are you on a basic level?" 23:21 Right. 23:23 "What do you bring to the table? 23:24 Are you serious about this?" Right. 23:27 Because I don't want to infest, 23:28 meet your family all this different stuff, 23:30 getting engaged and then I find that 23:33 you're completely something else 23:34 and I'm trying to break off this engagement. 23:36 Right. 23:37 And in our culture it's a lot... 23:39 It's very hard after you've already put it, posted on... 23:41 It's Facebook official, Instagram official... 23:43 Yeah. 23:45 Twitter official... 23:46 Yeah, yeah. 23:48 Invitations are sent out, 23:49 you already bought a dress for a thousand dollars 23:50 to try to break off this engagement right now 23:54 even though I'm seeing this huge red flag 23:56 that I wish you showed me before. 23:58 That, that's definitely why I would advice 24:00 pre-engagement counseling, pre-engagement, 24:03 I know it's not as popular today, 24:07 you know, we have mostly... 24:08 What's most popular is marriage counseling, 24:12 not even premarital counseling is as prevalent 24:15 as marriage counseling 24:17 because people go through 24:19 even though they see the red flags, 24:21 we've gotten engaged now 24:23 we've invested all of this money, 24:24 all these resources, 24:26 our communities are invested 24:27 into are expecting this end result 24:30 that we, that we've said we want to go into 24:34 and now, and so now to break it off 24:38 is just not going to happen 24:40 even though we're gonna push through it. 24:42 And so now we're married. 24:45 And now, right, we say the Lord, will work it out, 24:48 but that doesn't necessarily mean the Lord 24:50 wants to work it out that may not... 24:53 That mean, that does not mean that 24:55 both individuals are willing and receptive enough 24:59 to allow the Lord to work it out. 25:02 So now we're married and we need premarital, 25:04 we need marriage counseling 25:06 because we're on the verge of divorce 25:09 where a lot of that could have been filtered 25:11 through in pre-engagement counseling. 25:15 Should we take this next step? 25:17 Let's analyze our histories. 25:19 Let's analyze who we are now. 25:22 Let's ask the question, 25:24 can I deal with these things that I see. 25:27 Can I love you past it? 25:28 Can I encourage you through it? 25:31 And can you be there? 25:32 And it's not can you be there for me necessarily only, 25:36 but each person is supposed to be caring for the other 25:39 and that and that's where growth can take place, 25:41 I don't know if, Keith, you want to. 25:42 That's true. 25:44 I'm... 25:45 Just want to touch on the idea of the culture 25:47 and the culture saying, "Listen, you got engaged, 25:49 you got to go through with this stage." 25:51 And the pastor and me, 25:55 the big brother as I talk to my sisters, 25:57 the father in me as I talk to my daughter, 26:00 I would rather... 26:01 Individuals say, "You know what? 26:03 This thing isn't working." 26:04 We put it on Facebook, right? 26:06 We got our pictures up on IG and all of these things. 26:10 We've communicated this to the world 26:12 but it is responsibility, right? 26:15 It takes responsible individuals to say, 26:17 "You know what? 26:18 We thought this thing was going this direction, 26:19 we thought that this was the... 26:21 What is the best interest for everybody involved 26:24 that we don't move this direction?" 26:25 I mean, the same way we post about, 26:27 I got a new job, right. 26:29 And if you get into that job and that job isn't working out, 26:31 then what you do? 26:32 You just turn in your resignation 26:34 or you get a pink slip from now 26:36 when I say, "Yes sir, these are no longer needed," 26:39 but it's better to do it before to say you know what, 26:44 this thing isn't working 26:45 because there's a lot of individuals 26:47 and this is important for our young people to understand. 26:48 There's a lot of individuals who are in marriages right now, 26:52 right, and it's killing them because they've stepped up 26:56 to what the culture wanted them to do 26:58 and held on to something 26:59 that God did not necessarily want for them. 27:02 So it's important. 27:04 It's a very valid point, 27:05 and we hope you viewers out there 27:07 who are listening are really taking heed 27:09 to the importance of nurturing that love, focusing, 27:15 finding out should we even be pressing forward. 27:18 So keep on having the conversation. 27:20 Ask, do you believe that you're scared 27:22 or nervous to nurture a relationship? 27:25 Are you over zealous? 27:27 What can you do to help others in your community 27:30 to make the right decision 27:32 before they actually get engaged? 27:35 And what are other reasons that probably could be the case 27:38 for why a person is scared or nervous? 27:41 We talk about and it's Ephesians 4:2, 27:44 "Be completely humble and gentle, 27:48 be patient bearing one another in love." 27:52 Please remember out there to make pure choices. 27:56 Thank you, guys. 27:57 Thank you. Thank you. |
Revised 2017-08-14