Participants: Brittany Hill-Morales (Host), Dajanae Anderson, Keith Hackle Jr, Sabine Vatel
Series Code: PC
Program Code: PC000134A
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00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues.
00:03 Parents are cautioned that some material 00:05 may be too candid for younger children. 00:40 Hello. Welcome to Pure Choices. 00:42 My name is Brittany Hill-Morales, 00:43 and I am your host for today's program. 00:45 We are about to talk about a very important topic. 00:49 It's called "The Talk". 00:51 Basically talking about how do you go about 00:53 having the conversations about sex 00:55 in our different levels of cultures and communities, 00:58 but before we jump right into the conversation, 01:01 let's pray. 01:04 Dear kind and most heavenly Father, 01:06 I pray that, Lord, that You will be 01:07 with us right now 01:09 as we are about to have this conversation. 01:10 I pray that You'll also be with the viewers at home 01:12 so that they can also be excited 01:14 but also be informed. 01:16 We love You and we praise Your name, 01:17 in Jesus' name, amen. 01:19 Amen. Amen. 01:20 Amen. 01:21 So as we're about to begin this conversation, 01:23 I have some wonderful guests with me right now. 01:26 Sitting beside me is Mrs. Dajanae Anderson. 01:29 Thank you for being here. 01:31 Over here at the couch, 01:32 we have Keith Hackle and Sabine Vatel. 01:34 Thank you, guys, for being here. 01:36 Good to be here. 01:37 So sexuality, sex, 01:39 talking about these two things that are what most people 01:43 will see as private 01:44 or others might feel as a bit dirty 01:47 or whatever their feelings might be, 01:49 I'm not going to jump into that too much, 01:51 but it's like it's taboo to talk about sex 01:54 in our culture, 01:56 especially in our Christian culture. 01:58 What has been your experience about that? 02:01 I've experienced that it has been taboo 02:03 and a lot of times people don't want to talk 02:06 to young people about it 02:08 because they're afraid that the things 02:10 that they did may come out and the kids may feel 02:13 that they have a license to do certain things 02:15 because their parents did it. 02:17 So let's say, hypothetically speaking, 02:18 if a mother got pregnant 02:21 when she was 14 years old, right so, 02:24 "Mom, how can you tell me," the daughter, 02:26 "How can you tell me not to have sex 02:28 when you had sex?" 02:29 And being honest, 02:30 it wasn't until 02:32 I was driving down the road one day 02:33 and doing the math on my mother's age and my age, 02:35 and I was like, 02:37 "Oh, my mother was actually younger than I thought 02:39 she was when she had me." 02:41 But we've had conversations 02:44 and so that makes the thing a lot easier. 02:47 When you can see my parents haven't always been perfect, 02:50 and actually I began to trust them more 02:52 because they've made mistakes 02:53 and they've been willing to voice the fact 02:55 that they've made mistakes. 02:57 Yes. A similar thing with me. 02:59 My parents had me in their teens, 03:02 in their late teens, 03:03 but in their teens nonetheless and growing up, 03:06 my mother always said... 03:10 You know, I wasn't necessarily raised. 03:12 My mom has some Christian values. 03:14 I don't, you know, 03:15 want to take that from her at all, 03:17 but we didn't necessarily go to church together, 03:19 we didn't necessarily pray together 03:21 in the family and things like that, 03:23 but she always said, 03:24 "If you decide to have sex and get pregnant 03:29 and then you become pregnant as a result of that, 03:32 then you will be taking care of your own child, 03:35 that if you're old enough to have sex, 03:38 you're old enough to raise the child 03:40 because that is the product." 03:43 And then later on 03:44 when I... 03:46 and then I took sex ed and things like that in school 03:48 before I had actual real conversations 03:50 about what sex was, I learned about it in school, 03:55 and then my mother brought me, when I'm in high school now, 03:58 I've already kind of learned some things, 04:01 showed me pictures of STDs and STIs, 04:06 and this is what 04:07 dysfunctional genitalia looks like 04:12 is what my mother did with me, 04:14 but then I also have my grandmother 04:16 who did that and telling me 04:18 these are some of the bad decisions 04:19 that I made in my youth 04:22 and these are the results of it. 04:23 These are some of the negative relationships 04:25 that transpired, 04:28 this is how my children were affected 04:30 by some of the decisions that I was making. 04:32 And so I was able to have 04:35 that conversation with my grandmother 04:38 and you know I was able to talk to my grandmother 04:42 when I had the feelings and the emotions of sexuality 04:46 growing into a woman 04:48 because she was so open with me 04:51 but then told me the negatives, 04:53 even though this is what I did, 04:55 this is what I'm dealing 04:56 with this negative reality as a result. 05:00 You know, I was shown pictures 05:02 but they were cartoons and I was way younger. 05:06 And to me, it was still like a mystery 05:07 of about how they all worked. 05:10 And I know that I have some cousins 05:12 who are as young as, I don't know, 05:14 six year olds, seven year olds who know everything about sex. 05:18 We talk about sex, yes, 05:20 but I think we talk about sex in terms of "don't do it," 05:23 maybe and so it's still... 05:26 I know in society, 05:27 I mean, you can't sell bread without associated with sex. 05:30 I mean, sex is everywhere around you, 05:32 so the fact that we try to even avoid it 05:34 is kind of weird, but I think we talk about it 05:37 as something that's like "stay away from it, 05:39 don't get into trouble," basically. 05:40 That's true. 05:42 I completely agree. 05:44 And I like how everyone started talking 05:45 about their family. 05:46 It was either, 05:48 you know, mom, grandmother, cousins, 05:50 and the family is usually the first place 05:52 that a child starts understanding 05:53 about sexuality and sex. 05:55 That is their first line of information 05:58 about their bodies 06:00 and what God has designed and created 06:02 and the reality is most parents don't do it. 06:08 They kind of wait until somebody else does it. 06:11 Society, could be the media, as we said it's all over. 06:15 It could be our schools because we believe 06:18 that they might be more informed and educated. 06:21 I remember when I asked my mom a question about ovulation, 06:25 she, I don't know if maybe she felt 06:27 that she didn't have the wisdom enough to tell me, 06:29 but she was like, "Isn't there the internet now?" 06:32 I was like 13 or 12. 06:34 She was like, maybe you should check the internet. 06:35 And that's where she sent me 06:37 because maybe she didn't feel like 06:38 she had enough information, she gave me a book. 06:40 And I believe most parents, 06:44 they may have had the relations of sexuality 06:48 but they do not fully comprehend 06:52 and they might be nervous with it. 06:57 We have our cousins 06:59 who might tell us a little something 07:02 and you're trying to figure out what they are telling you, 07:05 but that means source needs to be the parents. 07:08 So how do parents look at their children? 07:11 You may go a little bit further. 07:13 Your parents... 07:14 You are pregnant... 07:17 Your child is about to come into this world, 07:20 and for me, having a nine month old, 07:23 when do I even do any source of reference 07:26 to sex or sexuality with her. 07:29 I think it will be young. 07:31 I know with my granny, 07:32 she was very aware 07:34 that young children would be molested 07:38 and raped and things like that. 07:39 And so at a young age, 07:41 my granny told me 07:42 what my private areas were and she told me 07:46 that no one should touch them. 07:49 And so at a young age, 07:51 that's the awareness that I had of sexuality 07:56 because in elementary school, 08:00 the people that I went to school with, kindergarten, 08:03 first grade, second grade, and all the way up 08:06 were engaging in sexual activity. 08:09 Kindergarten, first grade, like kindergarten, first grade, 08:14 so you know there was one of my very close friends 08:18 in elementary school, 08:20 she would give oral sex to the other little boys, 08:25 I mean, so I'll go back in my mind 08:27 and I wonder was she molested. 08:29 You know, we are detest, 08:30 I don't know, we're not friends anymore, 08:32 we don't communicate anymore, that was years ago, 08:34 but I look back and I think 08:36 what would make a seven year old 08:40 think about performing oral sex on another seven year old. 08:45 And once again, I look back and I remember, 08:49 she was much more physically developed 08:52 than the rest of us in elementary school. 08:55 So I'm putting things together, 08:58 but I can't know for sure what it was, 09:01 but I knew that she was talking to me 09:04 about how she was giving oral sex 09:07 to the other young kids. 09:09 And I'm pretty sure some parents are listening 09:12 and are alarmed by this. 09:14 And you're impressing on them essentially 09:17 how important it is to... 09:18 I think as early as possible, 09:19 I mean, age-appropriately, obviously. 09:21 I love what you said about pointing out, 09:25 knowing what your body parts are by its name, 09:28 and being able to own that and own your body 09:31 and have that boundary 09:33 I think as early, and bless your mom, 09:34 but not the internet. 09:37 Forget the internet. 09:39 I think it is nerve-racking for parents. 09:40 I could tell my mother, 09:42 she might not say she was nervous, 09:43 I think, and I appreciate the way, 09:46 you know, her want to educate me. 09:47 It is a nerve-racking thing but if you don't do it, 09:50 somebody else is going to 09:52 and do you really want that? 09:53 That's absolutely right. Yeah. 09:54 And the question of how young. 09:57 It was mentioned, 09:59 we're in a different society right now, 10:00 and one thing for me is I think that the church, 10:03 we are often too lax, right? 10:07 So everyone who comes into our doors, 10:09 we believe is a Christian 10:11 and so when they come in, we're embracing them. 10:12 We're like, "Here, 10:14 here are the keys to the church 10:15 and if you want to stay over, then you can stay over." 10:17 And we need to understand that there are some people 10:19 who come in who have bad intentions. 10:21 So even as you have a nine year old... 10:23 I mean, nine month old daughter, right? 10:25 Nine years, not yet. 10:27 You got nine month old daughter, 10:29 so as she gets older when she's able to talk, 10:31 right, there are certain things that you need to... 10:35 This is what we did. 10:36 We taught our children, 10:37 there are certain things that you need to feel 10:39 comfortable saying to us 10:40 because there's going to be individuals 10:42 who are going to come, you might be 10:43 in your Sabbath school classroom, 10:44 you might be at AYS afterwards 10:46 and we don't want you to feel like 10:48 when these things happen, that you're by yourself. 10:51 You also need to use your words. 10:53 So if someone is getting close to, 10:55 if someone's touching you, we've role played. 10:57 We say, "Hey, what would you do, 10:58 you're sitting in a place 10:59 and somebody puts their hand on your knee 11:01 that you don't know, this is a stranger, 11:02 what do you do?" 11:03 And so some kids would just sit there because it's awkward, 11:05 right? 11:06 What do I do? This stranger is touching. 11:08 But, no, you use your words, "Get your hands off of me." 11:11 And if they don't reply or respond to the first, 11:13 then you get louder. 11:15 You make the situation awkward for that person 11:16 because it's already awkward for you 11:18 but we have to give them that license 11:20 to be able to say this is wrong, 11:23 and this should not continue on. 11:25 So as soon as she's able to talk. 11:29 I want to kind of say that it's very crazy 11:33 that we are living in a society 11:35 where these things are a reality 11:39 and it is also sad that most of us as Christians 11:45 are still living in this fantasy world 11:48 that these things are not happening, 11:50 and we do need to start some sort of conversations. 11:52 We're not saying to sit down with... 11:55 You know, my kid is nine month old 11:57 and do a huge spill on bodily changes 12:00 and adolescence and all of that, 12:02 not to have in-depth conversation, 12:04 but to just to try to help our viewers 12:07 actually have some guidelines at... 12:10 may be not at nine months, as she gets little bit older, 12:12 pinpointing at, you know, this is your vagina. 12:15 Have it be the name because molesters do not like 12:19 when you call it what it is 12:21 and it's sad that I have to say this, 12:23 but this is the reality that we live in, 12:26 and we have to have conversations 12:28 about sex and sexuality. 12:30 There's a list of other reasons but one of the reasons 12:32 and it's scary because it's sin 12:35 is we have to protect our children 12:37 because sexuality 12:38 when it's introduced too early to them, 12:42 and when I say introduce 12:43 as in this negative way of someone 12:46 in fake their innocence, it breaks and ruins them. 12:51 I know, for me, when I was about five or six, 12:54 something happened to me. 12:56 I'm still not fully comprehending 12:59 what took place, 13:01 and knowing that kind of went with me, 13:04 I would want to say, 13:06 when I was preadolescence, adolescence, 13:08 not fully understanding my sexuality, 13:10 understanding what I'm feeling because of what happened then, 13:13 and we have to have the conversation. 13:16 And I know, most individuals think, 13:19 "Okay, I'm going to have the conversation 13:21 on the bridal shower 13:25 or I'm going to have the conversation..." 13:28 And there's a different level of conversation 13:30 that happens at bridal showers 13:31 but there needs to be some sort of thing 13:34 that's going on now saying, "This is a vagina" 13:37 so the child can be able to say, 13:38 "Don't touch this." 13:40 Like you were saying, 13:41 "You're touching my knee, stop it. 13:43 It's making me uncomfortable," 13:44 and then progressing slowly 13:46 and one article I was reading saying, 13:48 also showing certain levels of healthy affection 13:54 for your children to see 13:56 healthy pecks on the cheeks, healthy kisses. 14:00 You don't want to go over the top because again, 14:02 age-appropriate, 14:03 but as we're talking about that early age group, 14:06 just to get those guidance perspectives 14:08 of to healthy displays of affection, 14:11 talk about how... 14:12 As parents. 14:13 As parents, that is you are a woman, 14:16 not woman, you're a girl, you have vagina. 14:18 You're a boy, you have a penis. It's different, it's separate. 14:20 There's nothing that needs to be going on 14:22 with you right now, 14:23 but as you progress forward into it, 14:25 and even preadolescents, 14:27 how do we even have that conversation 14:28 with preadolescents? 14:30 You just nailed it. You just have it. 14:33 If people were listening to us, 14:35 if somebody is a parent or knows a parent, 14:37 if one person as a result of this conversation says, 14:38 "You know what? 14:40 I need to talk to my child." 14:41 I think this program would have done amazing impact 14:45 because I think what you just laid out, 14:46 the case you made for it is so compelling. 14:49 I would say also, as we speak to about sex 14:51 that we remind ourselves 14:54 and also our young ones that sex is a gift. 14:56 I mean, this is something God invented, 14:59 and the devil has mired it with shame and mystery. 15:03 I mean, it should be a mystery. 15:04 I mean, it should be a mystery 15:05 because it is something that is the gift... 15:08 That God reveals to everybody. 15:10 Yes, but the idea that it is a gift, 15:13 that it is a beautiful thing as well too, 15:14 I think, we should highlight that as well. 15:16 Definitely so, 15:18 and I think what I'm hearing 15:21 and what I'm agreeing 15:22 with is that in expressing to an adolescent, 15:28 at least, not even at least, 15:32 but 11, sometime you may want 15:36 to talk to your child younger than 11. 15:38 But 11 like, middle school age, 15:41 you have a 11, 12, 13 year olds, 15:45 I remember once again, 15:47 being in middle school 15:49 and people going to each other's houses 15:53 and because there's one house 15:55 where their parents don't come home 15:56 until a certain time. 15:58 I had to take my behind home, 16:00 you know, I had to go home. 16:01 I could not go hang out at someone's house 16:05 that my parents hadn't talk to their parents first 16:08 to make sure there are parents there. 16:10 I had to go home. 16:12 And so, but my friends that went, 16:15 that were mature, 16:17 many of them did very well in school, 16:20 you know, they were on sports teams 16:23 and things like that, 16:25 they would participate in sexual activities there, 16:31 and that's what everybody knew what was going to happen 16:34 because my body is starting to change. 16:38 At 11, 12, 13, my body is starting to change 16:43 and I'm interested, 16:46 I have this chemistry with this person, 16:48 so let's go explore. 16:50 And you go and explore and you allow 16:53 that other child to introduce your child 16:57 to what sexual intimacy is. 17:00 So why not let them know they are, 17:03 you know, you're already, 17:05 I believe, sex ed takes place in middle school, 17:08 and I think there has been conversations 17:09 about sex ed taking place 17:11 even earlier than that, and it's appropriate. 17:16 Once again, I remember, 17:18 I remember being in daycare in elementary school 17:24 and looking over into the window next to me 17:27 which had... 17:29 So I was in elementary school and there were... 17:32 Maybe I was like in the fifth grade, 17:34 so I was in the older kids' class, 17:36 looking over into the younger kids' class, 17:38 maybe like three year olds, the three, four year olds, 17:42 and there was one little girl 17:45 kind of... 17:50 "I'm too much." Yeah, too much. 17:52 I was trying to help you there. 17:54 I'm coming back, I'm coming back. 17:55 So the point is that it is important 17:59 to not only tell your children about sexuality 18:03 from these are the negative things 18:05 that can happen, 18:06 but talking to your children 18:08 about the natural things of life 18:11 and different emotions that you're going to feel 18:14 and how to deal with those emotions 18:16 and understanding that as you get older 18:19 and when the Lord allows you to get married, 18:22 then the coming together 18:25 of these emotions that you had, 18:28 you'll be able to fully express 18:30 and that it's a beautiful thing, 18:32 so to allow your children 18:33 to have something to look forward to. 18:36 When I'm an adult, 18:37 this is something that I get to participate in. 18:39 It's something to look forward to. 18:42 And so yeah, that's... 18:44 I'm glad that we talked about the parents' responsibility 18:46 when it comes to engaging in sexual conversations 18:49 with their children. 18:51 It keeps on going into teenage years. 18:55 It keeps on going into when you are an adult, 18:58 young adult and even older. 19:00 This is something that parents 19:02 need to take the responsibility for 19:04 and have that conversation. 19:05 But there's another area, 19:07 another society that needs to take responsibility 19:10 and have conversation and that is our churches. 19:12 Yes, yes. 19:13 Our churches need to talk about sex and sexuality, 19:18 not to take over for the parents 19:20 but to complement the parents. 19:23 It needs to be something that's preached 19:25 from the pulpit 19:26 in a sophisticated and healthy fashion, 19:29 highlighting the spiritual and the moral issues, 19:32 and the beauty, not in a condemning way, 19:33 but highlighting 19:35 what is beautiful about sexuality, 19:37 about what's happening in our bodies, 19:39 about what's happening 19:40 different things like reproductive process 19:42 and all these different things. 19:45 I remember a story of one of my professor 19:48 saying at 14 years old, she didn't understand that, 19:51 you know, sex led to having children. 19:54 She thought it was kissing and that's one of the things 19:57 that we're not addressing in a sophisticated fashion, 20:01 so maybe just to talk about a little bit, 20:02 how in our churches should we talk about sexuality? 20:06 Because even in our church, 20:08 we don't even want to read Song of Solomon, 20:10 how do we have that conversation in churches? 20:12 Is it for only AY? 20:14 Should it be in the divine service? 20:16 How do we do it for Sabbath school? 20:17 Well, you know, you talk about churches 20:19 and the reality of the society 20:20 that we live in is that of more than 20:23 any other time in our society, 20:26 more people are actually single 20:29 and more people are not married, 20:30 and when the church speaks about sex, 20:34 it has to be in that reality as well too, 20:37 recognizing that not everybody's married. 20:39 And this idea of abstinence 20:41 and, of course, abstinence refers 20:43 to abstinence of drink, 20:44 of anything that you're supposed 20:46 to stop doing... 20:48 And go a step further and not just don't do it 20:50 but do it in the context where it was meant for. 20:54 And there is a very old fashion word 20:56 that we don't hear about chastity. 20:58 You know, being chaste, and which basically means 21:01 that you reserve this act of sexuality 21:03 within the context of what God has created it for, 21:06 and if we can talk about that 21:08 as part of the Christian life, 21:11 this idea of being chaste, 21:14 I think that's how we do it 21:15 that God has a bigger plan for sex than even you do. 21:19 And so I think it's all of the above, 21:21 Sabbath school, divine work, and AY. 21:25 And so, and we've had this talk at my church, 21:29 and sometimes it makes the parents uncomfortable. 21:31 So what I'll do is I'll send a message. 21:33 I'll say this is what 21:34 I'm talking about so be ready, 21:35 you may want to have that conversation 21:37 with them before you get here 21:38 because they're going to hear some things. 21:40 But I am of the mindset 21:43 that you're never too early to have this talk. 21:47 I mean, a lot of times, 21:49 I think statistics show 21:51 that the individuals who are molested 21:53 is not someone that you don't know, 21:55 is not someone that you've never met before, 21:57 it's individuals close to home. 21:59 So in my home, 22:00 what we did was we started having this conversation 22:02 whenever our children were going 22:04 to be out of our line of sight, 22:06 whenever they were going to be with someone, 22:08 so even when it comes 22:09 to someone changing your diaper or taking you to the bathroom, 22:13 certain individuals were allowed 22:14 to take our kids to the bathroom. 22:16 And so when they take you, did they help you wipe? 22:20 I mean, we're having these conversations 22:22 because it starts there. 22:24 And so we need to understand that and really as a church, 22:27 be willing to stand up there and say, 22:29 "Listen, we're having this discussion 22:31 not because we're trying to grose you out, 22:33 we're having this discussion 22:34 because we want you to remain safe. 22:36 We want you to be educated. 22:38 We want you to know what danger looks like, 22:40 and we want you to feel comfortable 22:42 having this conversation with us." 22:44 There's nothing like having that conversation 22:46 on the backend and then you're finding out 22:49 that this child has been molested multiple times 22:51 because you haven't had that conversation. 22:53 So this is protection to parents. 22:55 They need to know this is an opportunity to help 22:57 your kids remain safe. 22:59 And if that's your child, 23:01 there's nothing wrong with telling them 23:03 to remain safe and to know the limits up 23:06 to where someone is able to go, so. 23:09 Yeah. 23:11 And, you know, speaking to a friend 23:13 who's not churched and, you know, in his mind, 23:17 you know, it's very important for us to, 23:20 and I don't want to deviate too much from the topic 23:22 that we don't protect the perpetrator. 23:25 And again, I don't think it's out of the realm 23:27 of our boundaries 23:28 to be able to have those safety talk 23:31 and being safe as well too. 23:33 But you know, when we talk about sexuality, 23:37 you know, my deep prayer is that 23:39 it would be within context because sometimes, 23:41 you know, as preachers, 23:43 we'll talk about sex but in isolation basically 23:46 and it can be very salacious like, 23:48 "Oh! you know," and even in the title, 23:50 but I would hope that it's part of, 23:51 as part of discipleship, as part of a journey, 23:54 not just again that sex is something 23:56 you don't do because you're Christian 23:57 but as part of being a follower of Jesus, 24:01 you know, being a believer, 24:03 this is part of the discipline 24:06 and the practice of being a Christian 24:08 is this idea of, you know what? 24:10 I'm going to abstain and honor marriage in that way. 24:14 Right, right. 24:16 And also on top of talking about sexuality, 24:18 there are... 24:19 I think, we kind of talked about it already 24:21 but in development, 24:23 and so my body physically starts to change 24:27 as I get older and mom, dad, 24:30 grandma, grandpa, or guardian, 24:33 if you haven't told me about it, 24:35 then I'm naturally going to be curious 24:38 or I'm going to think something is wrong with me. 24:41 Maybe the other kids at school are developing in ways 24:44 that I'm not developing. 24:46 You know, is there something wrong? 24:48 And I may be afraid to ask you the question. 24:52 And so like having, once again having that conversation 24:55 about the beauty of the body 24:57 and how God made the body and why, 25:00 you know, certain things haven't developed yet. 25:02 Because they serve a particular purpose 25:04 that you are not yet to fulfill, 25:06 and so definitely, 25:10 but looking forward to the time 25:12 when, you know, those things will develop 25:15 and I will fulfill 25:16 and that's for males and females, 25:18 there are some physiological things 25:21 that change as a result 25:24 to when it's about time to have children, 25:29 to get married, and things like that so... 25:33 I would probably also add that even for adults, 25:36 there are bodily changes that are happening. 25:37 Yes, yes, yes. 25:39 And we don't talk about it as you're getting older 25:41 and you're becoming adults, 25:44 that kind of goes into a question 25:45 like how do seniors adults talk about sexuality 25:48 in a healthy way? 25:50 We're kind of modeling it right 25:51 now understanding 25:53 what is appropriate and what's inappropriate, 25:56 basically focusing on what main topic should be 25:59 but going into a little bit deeper, 26:00 what should we discuss as adults 26:04 about sexuality? 26:05 What's inappropriate? Yeah. 26:06 Well, you know, I think... 26:08 You know, I think the tendency is to think 26:10 that that subject is dead after a certain age, 26:13 you know, something or maybe we don't talk 26:15 about it because, 26:16 you know, my grandmother when she was alive, 26:18 and the seniors that I've met, 26:20 you know, they've made me blush, 26:21 I mean, of sexuality. 26:23 But I think, our mistake as the young ones, 26:26 is that somehow, 26:28 there's an expiration date 26:29 to they remain to be sexual beings in life. 26:33 They probably could teach us a few things out really. 26:35 Right. Yeah, absolutely right. 26:36 And that's what I believe men's ministry 26:38 and women's ministry is for. 26:40 It's not just about events 26:41 but it's having these conversations, 26:43 you know, and we've had 26:44 some difficult conversations for men 26:46 in our men's group. 26:47 What do you do 26:49 when you're getting older and things aren't working 26:50 the way they used to, 26:52 how do you deal with that thing? 26:53 And so it takes, again, the church coming together, 26:58 us being honest and being transparent, 27:00 and definitely parents need to take that time out 27:03 to talk to your kids. 27:05 They may feel like you're grossing them out 27:06 but if it makes them, protects them, 27:08 I'm sure they'll appreciate it in the long run. 27:11 Definitely, definitely. 27:12 I believe that we're all saying 27:14 that conversations need to be taking place. 27:16 It shouldn't be something that's not happening. 27:18 We need to have the conversation 27:20 because it is important. 27:22 No matter how awkward. 27:24 No matter how awkward it is, it is essential for our safety, 27:27 and for us to also build our relationship with God. 27:29 If we understand 27:30 what should be happening from this body 27:32 that God has created, how do we serve Him? 27:35 It helps. 27:36 And the scripture talks about that it's God's will 27:38 that you should be sanctified, 27:39 that you should avoid sexual immorality, 27:42 that each of you shall learn to control your body 27:45 in a way that is holy and honorable. 27:48 That happens with conversation, not only with ourselves, 27:50 amongst ourselves but also with God. 27:52 So as you go out and you go forward 27:55 with your daily lives, 27:56 He wants you to be able to remember 27:58 to make pure choices. 27:59 Yes. |
Revised 2017-08-20