Take it to the Bank

Marital Breakdown, Part 2

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Cordell Thomas

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Series Code: TITTB

Program Code: TITTB000022


00:01 On Take it to the Bank,
00:02 you'll find ways to get out of debt.
00:09 Solve your credit card problems,
00:14 how to make and stick with the budget,
00:19 simple ways to save,
00:24 buying or selling a home,
00:27 and many more financial matters
00:29 on Take it to the Bank.
00:32 Hi, my name is Cordell Thomas
00:33 and welcome to another program of Take it to the Bank.
00:36 We have a really important topic to talk about today
00:39 and I'm not quite sure how I'm going to approach it,
00:42 but I think the spirit will lead.
00:43 What I'd like to do
00:45 is give you a couple of specific statistics.
00:50 Did you know that via the Canadian study,
00:54 recent study, they're saying that
00:55 38% of all marriages will end up in divorce
00:59 before the 30th year of marriage?
01:02 That's a stark statistic.
01:04 We have some numbers for you
01:05 and we'll show that to you a little later on,
01:07 but let me give you some other information.
01:10 Keep in mind that wiring money is like sending cash.
01:14 The sender has no protection against loss.
01:17 How about this one?
01:19 Don't respond to messages
01:20 asking for your personal financial information
01:23 whether the message comes from an email
01:25 or phone call or a text message.
01:28 Read your bills on a monthly basis.
01:30 Look at their statements on a regular basis
01:33 because scammers are out there
01:35 to get information and take your money.
01:38 Remember there is no such thing as a sure thing
01:41 and in wake of certain disasters...
01:46 Make sure that you check on the charities
01:49 you actually give your moneys to.
01:51 Now this is things to look at for fraud.
01:54 But these are some of the same warnings
01:57 that they provide you when you're dealing
02:00 with marital breakdown.
02:02 It's kind of interesting.
02:04 So what we're trying to do today
02:07 is I'm not going to be the expert on marriage.
02:09 I tell you that it's not the best thing to go to a baker
02:15 if you need someone to build the house.
02:16 I am not the person to go to
02:18 for psychological advice on marriage
02:20 and that type of thing.
02:22 But what I am talking to you about is the top reasons
02:25 for financial concerns and crisis.
02:28 What we do know is stress is caused by finance,
02:32 a top reason,
02:34 and even the top three reasons for stress
02:37 is having to do with finances,
02:39 it have the work place environment,
02:41 personal relationships in a family.
02:44 If fraud happens
02:45 or someone steals your identity,
02:47 they typically think
02:48 it's someone that is close to you.
02:50 And then of course, the top reasons
02:51 for financial crises or top reason for stress
02:55 has to do with finance, finance.
02:59 I think as we talk through these specific issues,
03:01 we begin to get our perspective
03:02 of how much is within our control
03:05 as we look at the relationships they get involved in
03:08 and how much we can, what we must do
03:10 to put things in a certain parameter of control.
03:14 But what I like to share with you today
03:16 before we move any forward
03:17 is to share with you a Bible verse,
03:19 a chapter actually.
03:20 I was reading this morning from Psalms, Psalms 100.
03:23 "Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands.
03:26 Serve the Lord with gladness:
03:27 come into his presence with singing.
03:29 Know ye that the Lord he is God:
03:33 it is he that has made us, and not we ourselves,
03:35 we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.
03:39 Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
03:41 and enter his courts with praise:
03:44 be thankful unto him,
03:46 be thankful unto him and bless his name.
03:49 For the Lord is good, for the Lord is good,
03:53 his mercy is everlasting,
03:54 and his truth endureth to all generations."
03:58 I was listening coming into the studio today
04:01 and I heard the song on the radio, it says,
04:03 Savior you can move the mountains,
04:06 my Lord is mighty to save,
04:08 He is mighty to save.
04:10 And if I can establish anything in this program
04:12 it's to say that, we have a Savior
04:15 that's willing to help us and to motivate us,
04:17 and to get us into a place that He wants us to be
04:21 in reference to our finances.
04:22 And I ask you to pray and to get in touch with Him
04:26 and develop that relationship with Him,
04:28 because it's the key focus that we should have
04:32 knowing that Christ is looking out for a best good,
04:36 and that's where I like to start this today.
04:39 Before we go any further,
04:41 but what I like to do as we get started
04:43 is to introduce you to a Pastor Kelly
04:47 as the resource of mine,
04:48 senior pastor at the Mt. Rubidoux
04:50 Seventh-day Advantest Church.
04:51 Now, we had a chance to have a conversation.
04:54 He has just done a series called, "Life in Debt"
04:57 and I had an opportunity to speak to him
04:59 about this specific issue called debt and relationships.
05:03 Let's go to that video.
05:06 Cordell Thomas with Pastor Kelly.
05:08 You gonna be our expert here
05:09 because you know you did your Life in Debt series.
05:11 Yes.
05:12 And I have a couple of questions for you
05:13 but, you know, what, what's interesting is,
05:15 when most people are talking about debt
05:16 we don't realize what $1 trillion is of debt.
05:19 You know the country is in $1.33 trillion of debt
05:21 and what does that mean?
05:23 So I started asking people some questions on Venice Beach.
05:27 If you spend a dollar a second,
05:29 how long would it take to spend a million dollars?
05:32 You know my guess would,
05:34 you know, I'm thinking may be for some people
05:36 may be a couple of hours.
05:39 A million dollars?
05:41 Yeah, but I have no idea,
05:42 I never thought about something like that.
05:43 People don't conceptualize those kind of things.
05:45 And that's what's key,
05:46 we don't understand what a dollar actually is.
05:48 Right.
05:49 One million dollars takes 12 days to spend.
05:51 Twelve days. Spending a dollar a second.
05:53 A second. A dollar a second.
05:55 How about one billion dollars?
05:58 Okay, so if a million was about 12 days,
06:01 I'd have to say a billion, let's say about 60 days,
06:04 something like that.
06:06 No, we're talking about 1000 million, right,
06:08 so we're upwards of 32 years.
06:10 Gee.
06:12 Thirty two years to spend a dollar a second.
06:14 And a trillion,
06:15 the United States deficit is $1.33 trillion.
06:20 Can we put in into...
06:22 I don't know if I could imagine
06:24 because I mean the million threw me off already.
06:26 I mean what is, what is a trillion?
06:28 Thirty one thousand years.
06:30 Thirty one thousand years, that's a trillion,
06:31 coming to a trillion at dollar a second.
06:33 And it's interesting
06:34 because we're dealing with this issue called debt.
06:37 In the United States a big debt
06:38 and then we see personal lives are being changed
06:42 all the time with this debt issue.
06:44 Can you address life in debt?
06:45 I know you had a series,
06:47 can you tell me some attributes of families
06:48 that may have a debt issue.
06:49 Sure, you know, one of the things
06:51 that God laid on our heart,
06:52 you know, as a church is we're really concerned
06:54 with the way that the finances of God's people are going.
06:59 We don't want to go to the extent
07:00 where people say,
07:02 you know, serve God and you get rich,
07:03 we know that's not biblical this prosperity gospel.
07:06 But as you really look through the scriptures,
07:07 you'll find that Jesus has a lot to say about money.
07:11 And He doesn't just,
07:12 descriptions don't only just talk about money itself
07:14 but in particularly they really talk about debt.
07:17 The Bible really teaches us
07:19 and really leads God's children to say clear of debt.
07:23 A very text throughout the Bible
07:24 and in Proverbs they say,
07:26 the one who is the borrower is slave,
07:29 you know, to the lender.
07:30 And so one of the things that we find is,
07:32 a lot of our people in church are enslaved to debt.
07:37 You know, how we tease in the series,
07:38 we say think about, it's called master card.
07:41 You know, it's your master.
07:43 And the thing that we find is,
07:45 that lot of families are using these credit cards
07:48 that, you know, getting different types of cards
07:50 whether it be for department stores,
07:53 may be just a regular cards to buy things
07:56 that they really can't afford.
07:57 But it's kind of interesting you say that
07:59 because the old way of doing thing was save your money,
08:03 go and buy it, and that's pretty much it.
08:05 Now, we're dealing with an issue of immediacy.
08:08 Absolutely. We got it consumer immediacy.
08:10 Yeah, it's neat thing,
08:11 I talk to some of our young people,
08:12 I say, "Have you heard of layaway?"
08:14 And they're like what is that?
08:16 I think you had only had the idea
08:18 of I have to have it now.
08:19 And I think also,
08:21 especially as you know I pastor in Southern California.
08:24 People like to keep up with technology,
08:27 with what's happening,
08:28 If you know there's a new TV that's coming out,
08:30 it seems almost every other month.
08:31 And I don't want to wait, I have to get it right now.
08:34 And so people in order to get,
08:36 sometimes it's tough to get a certain status
08:38 are getting in debt,
08:39 and what they don't understand is,
08:42 getting in debt when it comes to money and financial issues,
08:44 you don't always see
08:46 the immediate consequences of that.
08:49 I mean, you'll get in debt today
08:50 and you won't get to suffer those consequences for a year,
08:53 two, three years from now.
08:55 So that's really what's happening
08:56 through lot of our people.
08:57 So our series is trying to teach people,
08:59 "Hey, let's use our money, let's spend our money,
09:02 let's manage our money."
09:03 It's what Jesus talks a lot about that,
09:04 managing money the way that God wants us to,
09:07 and being in debt is definitely not one of those things
09:09 that God will like to see.
09:10 Okay, so I have something for you, pastor.
09:11 Okay.
09:13 Let me use this term, prenuptial agreement.
09:14 Okay.
09:15 What is the concept come across to you from whatever?
09:17 I've been using with some of the people
09:18 that have called in about that,
09:20 but I say, you know, we check out
09:21 our partner's past history from the medical standpoint,
09:25 we check out so many different issues.
09:26 But do we check out their financial past
09:28 and what about having a agreement,
09:31 not the typical prenuptial issues,
09:33 but what are your concepts about that?
09:35 Yeah, we know some people tease and say,
09:36 Kobe Bryant probably should have,
09:38 you know, got to catch one of those.
09:40 But I think it's very important.
09:42 In our series we did talk about the idea of checking up
09:46 on not just what somebody's financial past
09:49 and history is about,
09:50 but what's their philosophy on money?
09:52 Do they believe in just running up credit?
09:55 Do they believe that a good financial plan
09:57 is paying the minimum
09:58 on all their credit cards and debt?
10:00 Because that's gonna have an effect on your future
10:03 and not only your future but our children's future.
10:06 And so I think it's very important,
10:08 I wanna see what kind of spender are you,
10:09 what kind of saver are you,
10:11 what kind of philosophy do you have
10:12 when it comes to the way you're gonna manage money
10:15 because one thing that we really derive
10:17 homing that series is the money is not ours.
10:20 We're stewards of it, it belongs to God
10:22 and one day we're gonna be asked to give an account.
10:24 What did you do?
10:26 God is gonna ask us, what did you do with the money
10:28 I entrusted you with?
10:29 Fantastic.
10:30 Pastor Kelly, thank you for your time.
10:32 I really appreciate you being here
10:33 and discussing this with us.
10:34 And as we discuss even this next few weeks
10:37 about credit, about saving,
10:40 about doing a variety of things that can benefit you.
10:42 I ask you just to Take it to the Bank,
10:45 save, spend some time with us
10:47 and I think you'll learn something interesting.
10:48 Pastor Kelly, thanks so much.
10:49 Thank you so much. Thank you. All right.
10:52 It was an interesting conversation
10:54 because as we talk about over the next view programs,
10:58 this thing called debt,
10:59 this thing called financial problems,
11:00 we are actually focusing on the top financial problems
11:03 that people have in their lives.
11:06 And it's pretty much generic
11:08 because it applies to all of our lives
11:09 to some extent.
11:11 We can talk about some of the stories
11:13 that are out there in the media right now.
11:14 There is one interesting story about happy people.
11:17 Happy people aren't worried about their money,
11:19 happy people are focused on their lives
11:22 and how they can make life better for others.
11:25 And that's a Christian experience,
11:26 that is what God
11:27 or how He wants us to focus on is being settled in who we are,
11:32 being comfortable in our relationship with Christ
11:34 and using the resources
11:36 that He gives us to benefit other people.
11:38 And that's where we should focus our attention
11:41 to become happy in Christ.
11:44 So those people that have called and said,
11:45 "Cordell, you look like
11:47 you're having too much fun on the show."
11:48 I'm having a great deal of fun.
11:50 Not with some of the topics,
11:52 but the fact that I'm sharing
11:54 and I'm telling you that there are ways
11:56 to get in tune with God's leading in your life
11:59 and utilizing the resources He's given you
12:02 as Pastor Kelly even said,
12:04 using those resources
12:05 because we'll be held accountable in the end.
12:08 What are the top reasons for financial problems?
12:11 There are six of them, I'm gonna lay out.
12:13 The causes for financial problems
12:14 include personal planning, or lack of personal planning.
12:19 The fact that we don' have a budget is a big, big concern.
12:22 Many of us haven't started by assessing where we are,
12:26 looking at how much money goes out,
12:28 what our debt ratio is to income,
12:31 and then we take a look at what type of budget
12:35 we should have in accordance to that to figure out
12:38 how much is coming in, how much is going out,
12:41 therefore if I have more coming in
12:42 than that's going out,
12:44 I know I have a buffer,
12:45 I have money that I can put into savings.
12:47 I have money I can invest into retirement.
12:50 I have money I can use to acquire assets
12:53 or websites or domain names
12:56 or things that it can help me build a business
12:59 that that can help me drive revenue back to my bottom-line.
13:04 There is unemployment,
13:07 loss of income is another major cause for financial stress.
13:10 When you lose a job,
13:11 if you haven't plan with the budget
13:14 and put away money for an emergency,
13:17 you are put in a very stressful situation,
13:19 I was listening on the radio last night,
13:21 driving back from dinner
13:23 was the context of this family that said,
13:26 admitted on the Christian radio station
13:29 that we didn't have any emergency funds put away
13:32 and we lost the job.
13:33 The husband lost his job first
13:35 and then the wife three months later lost her job,
13:38 and then they were dealing with this issue,
13:40 a very stressful issue of no income,
13:42 and of course, the lack of savings,
13:44 personal emergency savings.
13:46 And they prayed about it and God led in their lives
13:49 and led them back to jobs that they needed
13:53 in reference to keeping their lives going,
13:55 but it was interesting that they said
13:57 the same things that we're talking about here.
13:59 Number three is expensive emergencies,
14:02 could be medical emergencies,
14:03 could be a variety of other things,
14:05 the need of a hot water heater in the house.
14:08 Those kinds of things arise on ongoing basis.
14:12 When you consider the fourth reason for financial crisis,
14:18 it is bad financial advice, bad financial advice.
14:22 Who do you go to for advice?
14:25 I mean, do you go to a baker to find out how to make bricks?
14:29 Well, actually brick makers bake
14:33 so that was a bad analogy.
14:34 So how about if you went to a baker
14:37 to have them give you legal advice,
14:39 they don't have training.
14:41 So the context is,
14:42 go to someone that has expertise,
14:44 get the right type of financial advice.
14:47 You can see in some of our interviews
14:49 that we had that many people are going to themselves
14:54 when they're having financial crisis,
14:55 or going to their parents,
14:56 or going to people that may not have the training
14:59 or the background to give you quality advice
15:02 when you need it.
15:04 So bad financial advice is key
15:06 to some people's financial crisis.
15:09 Risky investments not being prepared,
15:11 it goes all the way back to that budget,
15:14 assessing your debt, knowing where you're at,
15:16 putting your money away in savings
15:18 and having an emergency fund.
15:20 And then of course,
15:21 if you have additional moneys that you can put away,
15:24 you can put it into investments.
15:26 The market is not ensured.
15:28 When you invest in the market system,
15:30 you have to be able to whether the long term,
15:33 take the loses as well as the gains
15:35 and understanding that is the key.
15:37 You can't do that and you shouldn't do that
15:40 if you don't know where you're at,
15:41 you don't know how much you're spending
15:43 and you don't have an emergency fund set aside.
15:46 And number six is inadequate planning for retirement.
15:50 Those are the six reasons for financial crisis.
15:55 But what we are focused on today
15:57 is marital breakdown,
16:00 marital breakdown is one of the things
16:02 that result from a crisis, the crisis in finance.
16:06 And we don't realize how much of an impact
16:10 that finances have with marital discord.
16:14 I'd like to put up on screen that talks to divorce
16:20 in the United States within Christian groups.
16:23 And if you take a moment to look at it with me.
16:25 There are the top seven, I would like to talk about
16:27 is the groups that we have in Christianity
16:29 and their divorce rate.
16:31 Number one is Evangelical Christians 26% divorce rate.
16:37 Non-Evangelical born again Christians are at 33%.
16:43 Notional Christians are at 33%.
16:47 Associated with Non Christian faith,
16:49 those who are associated with non Christian faith
16:51 are at 38%.
16:54 And of course, we have atheists or agnostics are at 30%,
16:57 that's interesting to see
16:59 because they are lower than the Christians actually.
17:02 All born again Christians are 32%
17:04 and then of course all non born again Christians
17:07 are approximately 33%.
17:08 When you take a look at breaking it down
17:11 between ethnicity,
17:13 you see whites or Caucasians at 32%,
17:16 African-American communities have a problem with this
17:19 where they are at 36%,
17:21 and then of course the Hispanics at 31%
17:24 and Asians at 20%.
17:27 If you have a conservative view point, you are 28%.
17:29 If you have a more liberal perspective
17:31 you're at 37%.
17:33 They have these breakdowns from a Borne It Out, Oregon,
17:36 and you can go and research it online if you like to,
17:39 but when you take a look at the statistics
17:41 that Canadian researchers tell us
17:43 that 38% of marriages will end in divorce
17:48 before the 30th anniversary is key to understanding
17:51 that this issue of understanding
17:55 how we relate with each other and finance is key.
17:58 Now, I pretty much let the cat out of the bag,
17:59 because our next step is to look at the top.
18:03 I think it's 11 reasons for divorce
18:06 and they are quite stark when you take a look at,
18:09 the number 11 is kind of interesting
18:12 where the wife is richer than the husband.
18:14 That's one of the 11th most prevalent reason for divorce
18:17 and of course, they're more influential
18:19 on their position,
18:20 and the man of the house wants to think
18:23 that he is in control when he really isn't.
18:26 I'm the man of the house and I know I'm not in control.
18:27 Hey, Cordell, what you're gonna wear today?
18:31 I don't know honey, what do you want me to wear?
18:33 There is the key, ask the question back
18:35 and they'll tell you
18:37 because realistically
18:38 you can be humorous from that standpoint,
18:39 but I don't care what she wants me to wear,
18:41 I'm not there to impress anybody else,
18:43 I'm there to impress her.
18:45 So I'll wear whatever tie,
18:46 and fortunately she dresses me the way
18:48 I kind of like to be dressed now
18:50 so I figure everything is okay.
18:51 But the key is this,
18:53 if you get into that type of power struggle
18:56 or you have one wealthy than the other,
18:58 it is typically a situation that will lead
19:01 to some type of discord.
19:03 And if not managed well, it will lead to divorce.
19:05 Number ten, abuse in the relationship.
19:08 I leave that alone.
19:10 It's a difficult situation
19:11 and I ask you,
19:12 if there is an abusive relationship,
19:14 get out of it as quickly as you possibly can.
19:16 Unemployment is number nine.
19:18 Unemployment is key, and what is Unemployment?
19:21 It means no money is coming in.
19:23 It means there is a financial crisis.
19:25 If no money is coming in
19:26 and you haven't prepared for the crisis,
19:28 and if you haven't saved money,
19:30 and if you haven't put aside in emergency fund,
19:33 it goes all the way back to assessing your debt.
19:36 Where are you?
19:37 What are you doing right now to plan develop the road map,
19:42 create the budget, save money
19:44 and go after paying off the debt.
19:46 Those are major issues that need to be addressed
19:48 and unemployment
19:50 then would definitely be coming in the top ten
19:53 for reasons why people end their relationships.
19:57 Number eight goes to lust.
20:00 Lust, extra marital affairs when there is that distrust.
20:05 Distrust can crop up in so many different ways,
20:08 can cause people to stop talking to each other,
20:11 that lack of communication leads to other issues,
20:14 and then of course will lead to,
20:17 lead to a break-up.
20:18 And that's why I say it in this way,
20:21 I dress for her if she likes the way I look
20:23 that's all that matters, really.
20:25 Okay, let's go to number seven,
20:27 religious and cultural differences
20:29 which ties into number five which is incompatibility.
20:32 But let's talk about those cultural differences
20:34 between Europeans and Africans for example.
20:36 There has been a study in recent years
20:38 has come across those marriages
20:40 between those different cultures
20:42 and we've found that some people later realize
20:44 that these differences clash
20:48 and people choose to opt out by going their separate ways.
20:52 Number six is moral history.
20:54 He or she may have
20:56 a criminal history or background
20:57 that they can't get away from,
20:59 things that have impacted their lives,
21:02 and that is one major concern of break ups
21:06 when on party is incarcerated,
21:07 is constantly dealing with the law
21:10 that has a major impact on relationships.
21:12 Five, incompatibility, we talked about that.
21:15 Number four has to do with the family background
21:19 which is key.
21:20 A person evaluation
21:23 and what it says here is how a family lives
21:27 and what their perspectives are has a great deal to do
21:30 with the impact on the people that you marry.
21:34 If the parents of a person are divorced,
21:37 if their background is divorced,
21:40 the children will probably follow
21:42 and probably opt out for the same thing
21:44 because its path leads to resistant.
21:45 So if one generation does it,
21:48 the other generation will actually do it
21:50 which is very interesting.
21:51 We see the same type of thing happening.
21:54 When we work with a lot of foster care young people,
21:56 when you look at their history,
21:57 you find out they're doing some of the same things
22:00 that their parents had done
22:02 and it's not in all situations
22:05 but the apple doesn't necessarily fall
22:07 too far from the tree.
22:09 In fact, they have statistics where young women
22:12 that emancipated out of the foster care network
22:15 are typically going to find themselves
22:19 expectant with child within 18 to 24 months
22:22 after they leave the program.
22:23 And it's typical to find out that child will end up
22:27 like the mom did going into the foster care system,
22:30 it repeats itself.
22:32 So it's key to keep that in mind.
22:33 Family background
22:35 and how things have been in the past.
22:36 This key to understanding
22:37 what could possibly happen in the future.
22:39 What is another key statistic that comes out
22:42 that says that poverty is a generational issue,
22:46 it will span generations.
22:48 If we're not able to address the issue about finance now
22:52 and stop it in this generation,
22:53 it will recycle itself in the future.
22:56 Family background is key.
22:58 And if you want to stop it, it says stop,
23:01 I too ask you is to stop the madness now
23:05 and let's try to figure out
23:06 simply by writing down what your debts are?
23:10 Assess it, deal with it,
23:13 and create a budget by just saying,
23:16 here is where my money is coming from,
23:18 here is where my expenses are,
23:20 here are the places that my expenses I can cut
23:22 and shave and take something out,
23:24 so I can increase my savings
23:26 and then put money away for emergency situations.
23:28 That is key, and I can't keep repeating it
23:31 over and over and over again.
23:34 Number three is expectations.
23:36 Individuals come in
23:37 with these expectations of a wonderful life.
23:39 And I'm gonna stop for a second and talk about this.
23:43 When you start a relationship,
23:45 I remember in my relationship with my spouse.
23:48 And I understand the context
23:49 of what she is talking about when,
23:51 you know, it was all these hormones
23:53 and yes, this is the right person
23:55 and you get caught up.
23:56 And you forget there're simple things
23:58 that you need to talk about in relationship issues.
24:02 It's key that you begin the process of dialoguing
24:05 and focusing on the real key issue of money.
24:12 Talk about it, think about it,
24:16 discuss with your spouse,
24:17 discuss with the all elements of what your expectations are
24:20 because you're coming
24:21 with two completely different perspectives
24:24 into a relationship that supposed to be as one.
24:26 And then of course, we have the top two.
24:29 You have the lack of communication
24:33 which I'm talking about right now.
24:35 Discussing issues,
24:37 discussing concerns before you get married.
24:39 And then the number one reason for divorce is finance.
24:46 They say the love of money is the route of all evil.
24:48 It's key in this case where you realize that
24:51 unless you are able to address these specific concerns,
24:55 you can find
24:57 that, that can create the problems in the future.
24:59 So what do you do about it?
25:01 What can you do in these situations
25:04 in dealing with marital discordant.
25:06 I don't want to even talk about the issue of the divorce issue
25:09 because if we begin to address
25:11 the key issues of understanding where you are at
25:13 and opening up those chains of communication,
25:16 you can better understand what you can do
25:19 and how you can better address these issues
25:22 and preempt that concern over here
25:25 called the break up in relationships.
25:28 What I like to do is go to some of the interviews
25:30 we did on Venice Beach
25:32 and find their answers to the questions
25:35 that we ask in reference to who do you go to for advice?
25:41 So my parents do.
25:43 So they help me out.
25:47 When you consider a stressful situation or crisis,
25:50 who do you go to for advice?
25:53 Myself actually, myself.
25:56 Commonsense, experience.
26:00 When you consider a stressful situation,
26:02 who do you go to for advice?
26:04 One of the main people I go to is my mother.
26:06 She always helps me out.
26:08 Whenever I'm in trouble,
26:09 she's always there when I needed.
26:11 It was interesting
26:12 as we listen to each one of these individuals.
26:15 We talk to many more on the street
26:17 and we got the same consistency in the answer.
26:20 The answer is,
26:22 if I need professional advice,
26:24 I am going to seek it from individuals
26:27 that not necessarily have the expertise
26:28 in giving me that advice,
26:31 and that I think is key for us to understand
26:33 regardless of where you're at in your personal life.
26:36 If you're single, if you're dating,
26:38 if you're married,
26:40 there are things that you can do.
26:41 If you're dating, the greatest thing you can do
26:44 is open up a dialogue with that significant other.
26:48 It is important that you start talking through the issues
26:52 about of marriage.
26:53 Get through the hormonal issues
26:56 and the excitement of the relationship
26:58 and get to the serious issues.
27:00 Long term,
27:01 it's good to talk about where you wanna be,
27:04 develop some type of agreement and understanding
27:06 of what you wanna do as a spender
27:09 and you as a saver in that relationship.
27:12 If you're married,
27:14 there are many things that you can do.
27:16 It isn't the end of all things because of finances.
27:22 We need to begin the process of understanding number one,
27:25 who you can contact, where the experts are?
27:27 I would suggest you
27:29 go to your local Seventh-day Adventist Church,
27:30 that would be a wonderful ideal place to start.
27:32 A local pastor will probably be of assistance to you,
27:35 would be a wonderful resource
27:37 and can lead you to someone that can assist
27:39 in this area that's very touchy
27:42 and can cause a lot of heartbreak and pain.
27:45 But we can solve the problems
27:47 God has answers in His word, the Bible.
27:50 Financial issues are a major, major concern.
27:54 Let's take a focus on those things in our lives,
27:57 and God bless you taking it to the bank.


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Revised 2017-05-22