Participants: Aaron Chancy (Host), Joshua Ward
Series Code: TNJ
Program Code: TNJ000068A
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00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues.
00:04 Parents are cautioned that some material 00:05 may be too candid for younger children. 00:09 Welcome to the New Journey, 00:10 where we meet real life people with real life testimonies 00:13 and real life working ministries for Jesus. 00:15 I'm your host Aaron Chancy. 00:17 Come join us on a New Journey. 00:49 Welcome to The New Journey. 00:51 We have an exciting program, a powerful testimony 00:54 by a young man named Joshua Ward. 00:56 Joshua, we want to thank you for being on the program. 00:59 I appreciate it. Thanks for having me. 01:00 All right, let's jump right into the questions 01:02 since we don't have that much time. 01:04 Real quick, where are you from, 01:06 and what was it like growing up? 01:09 I'm from Knoxville, Tennessee. 01:11 And I mean, how it was growing up for me, 01:15 you know, I never knew my father, 01:16 I don't even know his name. 01:18 And you know at the age of six, 01:20 started smoking weed at the age of six, you know, 01:22 because my father wasn't there in the home 01:24 and there was no one there to discipline me, you know, 01:26 my mother, she wasn't a bad mother 01:28 but she wasn't a Christian mother, 01:29 so she was a single mother trying to raise three bad kids 01:31 in the projects, so I just wasn't listening. 01:34 So, you know, I ran to the streets 01:36 and that's where I would seek, you know, to have fun 01:38 and, you know, do what I do 01:40 and I would run up to the dope boys, 01:42 and they would kind of take me under their wing, 01:44 so they would have me selling drugs with them, 01:45 smoking with them, 01:47 I'd be out till 5 o'clock in the morning. 01:49 I remember, they would start fights 01:50 and everyone circle around and I would just be there 01:53 and you know until it was over, they'd be like, 01:55 "Josh, go do this, go do that." 01:56 So I did it. 01:57 And like I said, I would sell drugs for them too 01:59 because the cops are not going to stop a six year old. 02:01 You know, so I'll be six years old, 02:02 running around with pocket full of rocks, 02:04 pocket full of money, 02:05 and just about everything you can be exposed to 02:07 as an adult, I was exposed to as a child. 02:10 I mean, you know, naked women, drugs, fighting, 02:14 stealing cars, just out there being, "Wow." 02:17 Wow. 02:18 And all of this, a lot of this started 02:19 at the age of six years old? 02:21 At the age of six years old. Wow. 02:22 So I'm sure you've seen a lot of things over your lifetime. 02:24 Yeah. 02:26 All right, now do this, talk about 02:27 some of the negative influences but also on the flip side, 02:29 talk about some of those positive influences 02:32 in your life as well growing up? 02:33 Okay. 02:34 Well, I just gave you the negative. 02:36 Yeah, whole bunch of them. 02:37 Positives, man, 02:41 it's hard, it's sad 02:42 but I really have to think to answer that question. 02:44 Yeah. 02:47 I mean, the Holy Spirit... 02:49 Guide you along the way. 02:51 Okay, okay. There we go. 02:52 So like as bad as I was, and even know 02:54 what I was doing what I was doing, 02:56 every time I would see a televangelist come on TV, 02:59 I would pray to myself to be saved 03:01 but even when I'm out on the streets, 03:04 running around, disrespecting, just being crazy, 03:07 every time I would hear televangelists on TV, 03:09 I would pray to be saved. 03:10 And, of course, you know my mom let me, 03:12 you know the church comes to her sometimes 03:13 and, you know, get the young children, 03:15 let them go to church, 03:16 so you know, that was a little... 03:18 Even though I didn't grow up in the church 03:19 or even grow up in a spiritual family at all, 03:21 there was always a spiritual aspect there, 03:24 you know, I would ask myself, "Why am I here?" 03:26 I would look up, look at the sky and be like, 03:28 "What is the purpose of this?" 03:30 And you know, I would listen to televangelists on TV 03:33 and things of that nature. 03:35 And the Lord later on, like when I ended up 03:38 going to group homes and stuff like that, 03:41 even though it was hell, 03:42 there would always be a few 03:45 like, God would always have an angel, 03:46 I have a certain staff member there 03:48 that would speak life into me. 03:50 Wow. Okay, okay. 03:51 So you had, every now and again, 03:53 there were some positive influences. 03:55 Yeah. 03:56 How important do you think it is 03:57 for people growing up in your instance, 04:00 growing up in a hood, 04:01 six years old and selling drugs, using drugs? 04:05 How important do you think it is for a young person 04:09 to have a positive influence in their life, 04:11 that positive role model? 04:12 It's extremely important. 04:14 I mean, it's almost everything 04:16 because a young person gets their view of God 04:20 from their parents or the first people they see, 04:23 you know, like you watch a cartoon or something, 04:24 a chicken hatch, and the first person it sees, 04:25 "Momma, momma. 04:27 Daddy, daddy." 04:28 So a young person, 04:31 that's why the devil wants to take out 04:33 the father in the home. 04:34 See, I'm not going to preach but, 04:35 so the first person that a young person sees, 04:40 they're around as young that has about 70% chance 04:42 of how they mould, and how they're going to be 04:44 when they grow up in life 04:45 because that's the first person they see, 04:47 so that's who they get their ideas from life from. 04:49 Their idea of who God is, 04:50 so if there's no one positive there, 04:52 they're just going to follow after what they've been taught. 04:54 Yeah. Okay, okay. 04:56 Now you mentioned that you were selling drugs, 04:59 using drugs, different things like that. 05:01 What were some of the specific drugs 05:03 that you were using and selling at that young age? 05:06 I was, you know, crack rocks, you know, 05:08 not a big time dope dealer but you know the dope dealer 05:10 will buy balls and stuff, break them down, given to me. 05:13 And I was smoking weed, I wasn't selling that, man. 05:16 I started smoking weed at the age of six, 05:18 and I will smoke like ten blunts a day. 05:19 I will just be hot the whole time. 05:21 So I never did anything white though because as young, 05:24 I would see their crack heads, and I was like, 05:26 "I ain't never going to be like that." 05:27 So I learned that from a young age, 05:29 I ain't will be walking around like that but as I was young, 05:32 weed, I did a little bit of pills too 05:35 but mainly just weed. 05:36 Even a little bit of drinking but I was a smoker, 05:39 that's what mainly what it was. 05:40 Okay, now what motivates a person though 05:42 because for me, I was around 15, 05:45 somewhere between 13 and 15 when I started smoking, 05:48 drinking, and different things like that. 05:50 But for you, you were six years old. 05:53 And I haven't really met many six year olds. 05:55 Matter of fact, I have a six year old child, 05:57 and he's never been around smoking, 05:59 drinking, or anything. 06:00 At six years old, 06:01 you're supposed to be watching cartoons, 06:03 you know, maybe in a first grade, 06:04 kindergarten, something like that. 06:06 What started that out for you, 06:08 smoking and things like that at six years old 06:12 when you're supposed to be playing with toys? 06:13 I understand, and that's an interesting question 06:14 because I would do that. 06:16 I would play with toys. I would watch cartoons. 06:19 And I've always liked school 06:20 like, my teachers would tell me, you know, 06:23 because I'll make straight A's with the desk at the teacher. 06:26 So my teachers would tell me, 06:27 they would be like, "You're smart. 06:28 You like school but you just... 06:30 Most brothers like, you don't like school." 06:32 I always had that desire in me to learn, 06:33 I've always enjoyed that. 06:35 I really don't know, 06:37 I thought about it like I set down, 06:38 I've talked to my mother, you know, my father, 06:41 my step father you know to one of my little sister's daddy 06:43 that was pretty much there in my life. 06:46 You know, I have to ask Jesus one day because I don't... 06:50 It's like I just came out with just some type of anger 06:53 and just... 06:54 I will say this, "I've always liked adventure 06:57 and excitement, you know, fighting, 06:59 like because before I even thought about 07:01 becoming a Christian, I read the book of Revelation 07:02 because it's dealing with last day events. 07:04 So I will say, I've always had a lean 07:06 and a push towards danger and just I don't know, man. 07:12 Just an excitement for things that aren't right all the time? 07:15 Yeah. Okay, okay. 07:17 Now let's talk about media for a second? 07:19 All right. 07:20 You know, you have a great testimony 07:22 but media plays a big part on young people's lives today. 07:28 And from your point of view, from your standpoint, 07:30 how much of an impact do you think 07:32 like secular hip-hop, TV shows, 07:35 different things along those lines 07:36 has on young people today? 07:38 Oh, it has, I mean, an extreme influence 07:41 on young people. 07:43 See, because what the devil is doing, 07:44 he's creating an entertainment generation 07:46 like, I watch it when I go to church, 07:48 now there's nothing wrong with using your phone 07:50 for the Bible, I have it but I'll see a pastor say, 07:52 "Everyone got their Bibles?" 07:53 Everyone says yes, they'll raise up their phone 07:55 like that's how thoroughly deceived we are. 07:56 He didn't ask if you had a phone, 07:58 he asked you if you had a Bible. 07:59 And they won't raise it up. 08:01 And what it does, 08:02 if you don't raise your children, 08:04 the TV will, the rappers will, the internet will. 08:08 So what's happening is parents they'll take their children, 08:12 don't want to deal with them, "Sit down and just watch TV 08:14 while I cook and clean, and all that." 08:15 So what's happening is that's raising them, 08:18 that's instilling values in them, 08:19 that's instilling the way they think, 08:21 it's programming them. 08:23 And their result of what they see 08:26 and you know and everything they're looking at and hearing, 08:29 and things of that nature. 08:30 You know, music and media is very powerful 08:32 because it's really, you know, 08:34 God can use it to advance the gospel 08:36 but the devil uses it too like, these rappers you think, 08:39 you know these different rappers, 08:40 we don't want to name names but you know 08:42 what I'm talking about. 08:43 These brothers have gifts, think if they were preachers. 08:46 You know, the charisma that they hold, 08:47 the way they can hold a crowd, the way they use words, 08:50 so it's the devil's version of... 08:53 I sincerely believe with all my heart 08:55 that it's one of his top threes, 08:57 if not number one tools 08:59 the way it's attacking the final generation. 09:02 It's his way of spreading the gospel. 09:03 We go to church and hear sermons, 09:04 we read the Bible, 09:06 he play somebody a sinful movie, 09:07 a sinful song, and it's preaching to them. 09:09 Matter of fact, they tell you in their songs. 09:11 Oh, yeah. Yeah, they do. They outright and tell you. 09:14 Exactly right, exactly right. 09:15 It's extremely impactful. 09:18 Okay, now let's transition 09:21 back to your early childhood life. 09:23 And you went through the juvenile detention center, 09:26 you went through group homes, 09:28 you went through mental institutions, 09:30 talk about the transition as through all of those? 09:32 Okay, well, like I said earlier, 09:33 because I was so wild, you know, 09:35 my mother couldn't control me so she saw me 09:37 over from states custody... 09:38 Okay, so how old were you when she signed you... 09:40 Nine. Nine years old. Okay. 09:41 So from 9 to 14, I'll be generous 09:44 and say I probably spent about a year of there free, 09:47 rest of it, was straight locked up. 09:48 So I pretty much spent my whole entire childhood 09:50 locked up. 09:51 And it was hell on earth, but you know, 09:54 I praise God for it because if it didn't happen, 09:57 I wouldn't be right here talking to you right now. 09:59 So I had the Lord, you know, what He's doing in my life 10:02 reminds me of Joseph, you know, 10:04 what he had to go through for the Lord to set him up, 10:06 being sold into slavery by his brothers 10:07 and things of that nature 10:08 but, I mean, it was rough like, man, 10:11 I could spend the whole segment just on that, 10:13 just a couple of points to kind of bring it out like, 10:17 you know, they used to strap me down the beds, 10:19 shoot me up with Thorazine, putting nets over me. 10:22 I remember, when the side of my face was nothing 10:23 but raw skin where they just rubbing it 10:25 against the carpet. 10:26 They had me on six pills a day, 10:28 diagnosed me with all these disorders, 10:29 bipolar, this and that, I wasn't crazy, I was just bad. 10:34 You're not going to tell me what to do 10:35 no matter who you are. 10:37 And you know, straight jackets you know, 10:39 they had me in all those, they used to make a sit 10:41 against the wall, get a chair and look at the wall 10:42 for like up to a week. 10:44 I actually taught myself how to read doing it 10:45 because all you could do is read or write, you know, 10:47 they would have us on this point system 10:49 where they would watch you all day with a chart 10:50 and write down everything you do, 10:52 and at the end of the day, they would tally them up 10:54 and if you hit a certain level, you got privileges, 10:56 if you didn't, you didn't get no privileges. 10:58 And if you were on the worst level, 11:00 you had to sit against the wall. 11:01 And so I constantly went through that you know 11:03 my whole entire childhood and you know, 11:04 that's how that was. 11:06 I could go into more detail. I remember, man, I used to... 11:08 Because I'm going off on the staff, 11:09 or I'm fighting them, you know spitting on them, 11:11 they restraining me but I would go to my shower 11:14 and you know I didn't even have a relationship with God, 11:16 but there's one thing I want you to see, 11:18 like I said earlier, if this wouldn't have happened, 11:20 I never would have came to the Lord 11:22 because I'm hardheaded. 11:23 And so, you know because we have sinful natures, 11:25 if everything is going our way, we would never see God. 11:27 But I developed my prayer life through that. 11:30 Like for example, 11:32 I'm going through all this with the staff 11:33 fighting them and all this, 11:34 but at the end of the night, when I'm in the shower, 11:36 I look in the mirror and be like, 11:37 "God, if I knew my life was going to be like this, 11:39 I won't even want to be born." 11:40 Because even though I'm off the chain, 11:42 I really don't see what I'm doing is wrong. 11:44 Yeah, exactly. 11:45 Do you get what I'm saying? Oh, yeah. I understand it. 11:46 I don't see that what I'm doing is wrong. 11:48 You know, I was on the hood is like 11:50 some kids go to Disneyland, 11:51 I go out there to smoke, and run in the streets. 11:53 That's what you're supposed to do. 11:54 So I was like, "God, like, what is this?" 11:57 You know, and I would really mean it in my heart, like, 11:59 "God, let me out, and I'll be good." 12:00 But every time I would get out, I would just... 12:03 But really in my heart, I really meant it like, 12:05 "Lord, if you let me out, I'll be good." 12:08 And I would cry like, "God, why am I here? 12:10 This is hell." 12:12 But I was developing a prayer life 12:13 because I won't even talk to God before that, 12:15 even though, I'll pray to be saved, 12:17 but you get the point I'm making. 12:18 Oh, yeah. Definitely, definitely. 12:19 Now let me ask you this. 12:21 Being that you spent a lot of your childhood life 12:25 between juvenile centers, group homes, 12:28 mental institutions, things along those lines, 12:31 how does that affect you later on in life? 12:35 The Lord is still delivering me from that 12:36 because it gives you... 12:41 You don't trust nobody. 12:43 Let alone Jesus himself edges, and it makes you... 12:46 It's hard for you to really come out and be the person 12:49 that the Lord called you to be 12:52 because growing up like that, you can't... 12:54 You know growing up in the streets or locked up, 12:57 you can't be yourself. 12:58 Yeah. Oh, I know it somehow. 12:59 Because if you're yourself, you get dealt with. 13:02 So you can... 13:04 Well, you know, if you grow up in a Christian home, 13:05 a loving home, you know, stuff like that, 13:06 you can be who you are 13:08 'cause people love you for who you are 13:09 but growing up in situations like that, 13:11 you have to be a certain way. 13:12 Exactly. 13:13 Because the certain way is the only thing 13:15 that's tolerated. 13:16 So the effect of that is when you get older and you know 13:20 you're in environment of Christian school, 13:21 and Christian environment, 13:25 you have to feel safe in your psyche 13:28 in order to be who you want to be. 13:30 You know, God created us to be loving people, you know, 13:32 to be servants but growing up in situations like it, 13:34 it does something to your brain where you don't trust nobody 13:37 and you always have a defense, you know like, 13:40 I could feel like I'm talking to my friends or stuff 13:42 and I'm talking to them, they say something 13:44 and I'll start going off. 13:45 It's like, "Josh, I'm not trying to attack you, you know. 13:48 I'm not trying to attack you, I'm just talking to you." 13:50 So it creates a survival instinct. 13:53 It creates of, you know, 13:54 survival of the fittest type mindset, 13:57 a paranoid type mindset, and the mindset 13:59 where you're always defending your ground 14:02 and not just being who you are, does that make sense? 14:04 Oh, yeah. It makes a lot of sense. 14:06 Now you mentioned that your mother has signed you 14:09 over to the state at nine years old. 14:12 Where was your father at this point? 14:14 Oh, I don't... 14:16 I told you I never met him. I don't even know his name. 14:18 Now my little sister's father came into the picture 14:21 a few years later and he's been, you know, 14:23 pretty much like my father since then 14:24 but my biological father, 14:27 I just don't even know his name, I never met him. 14:30 But one thing I will, you know, my mom, 14:32 even though she signed me over to State's custody, 14:34 she will still come get me on passes and take me home, 14:36 she is going to control me, 14:37 a lot of people when they got son over, 14:39 their parents never came back for them. 14:40 So it wasn't like that, she just couldn't control me 14:43 but she always came back for me, 14:44 pick me up, you know, let me come home. 14:46 It just, you know. 14:47 How did you feel as a young person 14:49 when your mother signed you over to the state? 14:51 And the reason I asked that 14:52 is I used to work in a group home 14:54 for a little bit of time and you know, 14:56 it'll be young kids who you know eight years old, 14:59 six years old, range all the way to 17 who were, 15:03 you know signed over to the state. 15:05 And you know they wouldn't really have any parents. 15:08 Matter of fact, a lot of them didn't know 15:09 their biological parents. 15:10 And you could tell that certain things 15:13 weren't all the way right with them per se. 15:16 So looking back on that, how did that affect you 15:19 that your mother signed you over to the state? 15:21 And then on top of that you don't even know 15:22 who your father is. 15:24 Oh, I was angry. 15:26 I mean, I was hot 15:28 because I felt betrayed, you know, 15:30 because in my mind, 15:32 I don't care how bad my child is, 15:33 I'm not going to start over but then again, 15:34 I'm a man too, I'm not a single woman. 15:37 And I look back on it now and I love her 15:39 because I want to be and matter of fact 15:42 and I see, like I said, she always came back for me. 15:45 She didn't just say, "I'm done with you. 15:47 I'm signing, you're never going to see me, no." 15:48 You know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah. 15:49 But at the time, I was angry. 15:51 I mean, I hated her like, because, man, 15:54 I mean you're a child, 15:56 and your mother signed you over? 15:57 So, yeah. 16:00 Actually my father, 16:02 I never really thought about it. 16:03 It just never... 16:04 I didn't ever think about it. 16:06 Okay. 16:07 Now being that you went through the group homes, 16:10 the juvenile centers, the mental facilities, 16:14 and you didn't know your biological father growing up. 16:18 Do you think it's important for young kids today 16:20 who go through these same situations 16:23 that don't know who their biological father is, 16:26 biological mother, whatever it may be, 16:29 do you think it's important for the parents 16:31 if they know where their child is 16:33 to come and find them and reconnect with them 16:36 or to let them know the reason 16:38 why they signed them over to the state 16:40 so that they can get a better understanding 16:41 of the whole situation? 16:43 Yes, 100%, 16:44 because one thing that's truth, 16:46 no matter how much a child is angry 16:50 because their parents were not there, 16:51 a child always wants to meet their parents. 16:54 No matter if their parent was a crack head 16:55 or whatever, 16:57 no matter what the situation, a child always... 17:00 We're built like that, God built us like that. 17:02 A child always wants to meet their parents, 17:04 so even if the parent was completely in the wrong, 17:08 the child is going to want to meet their parents 17:11 even if they react negatively in the beginning, 17:13 they want it. 17:14 It's a fact, it's a biological... 17:16 We're built like that. Definitely. Definitely. 17:18 Now you spent pretty much your young childhood 17:23 in between those facilities. 17:25 How old were you 17:26 when you got out of those kind of facilities? 17:28 Fourteen. 17:29 Fourteen, okay. 17:31 Yeah. 17:32 When I hit 14, I made up in my mind. 17:35 I was like, "Look, I'm tired of being locked up." 17:37 You know, I wasn't trying to be a Christian or anything 17:39 but I was in my mind, 17:40 I'm going to go through high school 17:41 because I knew I was smart. 17:43 So I said, "I'm going to go to high school, go to college, 17:45 find me a fine wife, make some money, 17:47 and just lay back. 17:49 Yeah, okay. 17:50 So that was my... 17:51 I'm tired of running the streets and getting locked 17:53 because I spent my whole child locked up, 17:54 I didn't want that anymore. 17:56 So that was my mindset, 17:57 when I hit 14, and I kind of matured too. 18:00 So got a little bit more self-control 18:02 because used to, I didn't have no self-control. 18:04 I would just go off on anybody who looked at me wrong. 18:05 But you know, the older you get, 18:07 you get more self-control. 18:08 So that was my mindset when I hit 14. 18:10 So from 14 to 17 was actually the longest streak, 18:13 like a straight span that I had spent free 18:15 since I was nine years old 18:17 when I went through high school. 18:18 Okay. 18:19 So did you graduate from high school? 18:21 Yeah, graduated. 18:22 So you graduated from high school, 18:24 did you go back into the streets at that point 18:26 or what happened? 18:29 I never went back in like I was when I was young 18:32 because when I was young, I was off the chain, you know, 18:34 I got better acting the older I got. 18:36 Most people get worst the older they get, 18:38 but I got better the older I got. 18:40 And I wasn't back in the streets, you know, 18:42 because after I graduated high school, 18:45 there's actually a story in that 18:46 because a lot of people in high school is like, 18:48 "Damn, Josh, I remember you used to be 18:49 the hardest little thing on the streets. 18:51 Now you're walking around with books, 18:52 what's wrong with you? 18:54 So, you know, they would try to fight me and 18:55 step to test me to see, you know, 18:56 if I still had or whatever, you know, yeah, 18:58 I win some, lost some. 18:59 And actually, I ended up going back to the group home 19:01 when I hit 17, 19:03 because I ended up robbing this truck driver, 19:04 because I was trying to show you that I was still hard, 19:06 you know, young. 19:09 But I was able to finish high school 19:12 through the group home. 19:14 And that's actually where I first felt 19:15 called to the ministry because when I was there, 19:17 a minister came and gave a Bible study, 19:19 you know, it's voluntary, no one has to go. 19:21 Okay, before you touch on that point, 19:22 we're going to get that point, but first before we get to 19:26 how you felt the call to ministry, 19:28 what was the defining point in your life 19:30 because for me, there was kind of like 19:33 a defining point where I hit rock bottom in my life. 19:36 And I was just fed up. 19:37 I was tired of running in this circle, 19:39 tired of being incarcerated, tired of using drugs, 19:42 the fast money wasn't fun anymore, 19:44 the women weren't fun anymore, 19:46 none of the stuff was fun anymore. 19:47 What brought you to that rock bottom point 19:50 that said you know what, I need to make a change, 19:53 what was it and how old were you at that point? 19:58 That's a tough question 19:59 because it was a progression of events. 20:01 Well, talk about the progression... 20:02 You know, there were many rock bottoms. 20:03 Okay. 20:05 You know, there were many rock bottoms. 20:08 Like I said, when I was 18, in the group home, I was like, 20:11 "Look, I don't want to spend my life locked up anymore." 20:13 So the minister came and I'm answering the question, 20:15 he came and he gave the Bible study 20:17 and you know after the Bible study, 20:18 he asked me to pray for him. 20:20 No one had ever asked me to pray for them before. 20:22 So I was like, "Okay, if you want me to." 20:24 And after I got done, he's like you better be careful, 20:25 the Lord might be calling you to the ministry. 20:27 I never forget what he said, he said it's a hard life 20:29 but the blessing is in the ministry. 20:31 Then I went to juvenile 20:33 and I was telling the young brothers there, 20:34 because I skip school, you know, 20:35 if we do things the Lord's way, 20:37 we don't have to spend our life locked up. 20:38 They were like, "What you want to do?" 20:40 I said, "I don't know. 20:41 Make some money, you know, get a wife." 20:42 You should be a preacher, so that was a second time. 20:44 So I really started to think about it then. 20:46 And the desire was there even then at 18 20:48 to want to change, want to follow the Lord. 20:51 But even though the desire was there, 20:53 I didn't have no power, 20:54 I was still addicted to drugs, I was still fornicating, 20:57 I couldn't really break away from my friends 20:59 or the environment that I was in Knoxville. 21:02 And I had ended up going to jail. 21:06 And when I was in jail, 21:08 so the desire was there to want to change, 21:10 to want to get into the church, you go to ministry 21:13 but I didn't have the power, ended up going to jail. 21:15 When I was in jail, I only go back for a second 21:17 because the desire was there like I said, the weed, 21:19 I would be smoking and my friends are having fun 21:21 and I'm sitting there and I'm like it's like Solomon, 21:24 vanity is vanity, all is vanity. 21:26 It's just didn't have the joy anymore. 21:28 And the Holy Spirit will say, "Now, look son, 21:30 how long are just going to stay, 21:32 it's not doing for you anymore. 21:35 Like I said, I went to jail, 21:37 and when I was in jail, I was in the hole. 21:39 And this is where the really change in point happened, 21:41 you see there's power in the word, you know, 21:42 Hebrews 4:12, 21:44 sharper than a two-edged sword. 21:45 I read the Bible, I was in the hole, you know, 21:47 the hole was 23 hours in a cell 21:49 and only one hour out. 21:51 And I was in the hole for a month. 21:52 So what I did in order to keep from tripping out, 21:53 I read the Bible page to page. 21:55 I will read the Bible all night and sleep all day, 21:58 and two verses that really hit me 21:59 was the Book of Hebrews where the writer was talking 22:01 about after you've tasted God and you continue to sin, 22:03 you re-crucify him afresh. 22:05 And I was like, and I could just picture him in my head, 22:07 that was... 22:08 The other verse that hit me was Romans 1 22:10 where Paul was talking about people 22:12 who've never even heard of the Gospel of Jesus 22:14 but because they refused the Holy Spirit, 22:16 but what they know God gives them 22:18 over to a reprobate mind, 22:19 so then two verses, they're two things for me. 22:20 One, I was like, "Lord, don't give me over 22:22 to a reprobate mind." 22:23 And two, at that time, 22:25 I realized what sin did to the heart of God 22:28 because when you're unconverted, 22:29 you don't realize that sin kills Jesus, 22:32 you're like it's just fornication, 22:34 we're made to have sex, what's wrong with that? 22:35 Or it's just a little blunt, but at that point, 22:38 it really hit me like it hit my spirit. 22:41 The Holy Spirit showed me that sin literally killed Jesus. 22:44 And the sins that I've done in my life 22:47 flashed before my eyes, and I started crying. 22:49 And I was like, "God, I didn't know Jesus. 22:50 I didn't know this is what... 22:52 I didn't know what it's done to your heart." 22:54 And that really, since that point, 22:56 my life began to change because the word was in me. 22:59 See, I had the desire there at 18, but no power, 23:01 but with the word came power. 23:03 Now you got the word, okay. So you got to read the Bible. 23:04 There you go. 23:05 So I mean, sin just started to fall off 23:07 through that word. 23:09 And, yeah, so that's where, you know, 23:12 the conviction really hit. 23:13 And I still hadn't found out about Adventism 23:15 or anything yet. 23:17 So make a long story short, 23:19 you know, I had the desire there 23:21 and I started going to this First Day church for a while, 23:23 and the pastor there, you know, he used to be 23:24 one of biggest dope dealers in Knoxville 23:26 and he was giving his testimony how the Lord hit him, 23:28 how he flushed like $10,000 worth of dope down the toilet. 23:31 And now he was preaching and since then 23:33 he had been a minister and that really spoke to me. 23:35 And then the elder came up to me 23:37 and he said, you know, "You better be careful." 23:39 I'm sorry. 23:41 Elder came up to me, he's like, "You're going to find out 23:42 what your name means soon." 23:44 You know, my name is Joshua, it means Jehovah is salvation 23:45 but I don't know it then. 23:47 So I got to study Bible, 23:48 it was like Jehovah is salvation, 23:49 so I was like, "Okay, okay." 23:51 So the Lord is speaking to me. 23:52 And you know, I would watch TV and stuff like that, you know, 23:54 these are first day religious channels, 23:56 and it's like, because I don't know about Adventism, 23:59 I never heard of it. 24:00 And as you're talking, talk about 24:02 how you heard about Adventism as well? 24:03 Okay, I'm getting there, I'm getting there. 24:05 Okay. 24:06 So I just really want to get this thought across, 24:09 so you can see the progression. 24:11 Oh, yeah, definitely. 24:12 So it's like the preacher was speaking 24:13 directly into my life, 24:15 so how we can see the Lord working? 24:16 When I was young, He locked me up, 24:18 so I would develop a prayer life. 24:19 When I was 18, 19, He put me in the cell 24:21 so I could read the Bible page to page. 24:23 And then I ended up, make a long story short, 24:25 I ended up going to prison 24:27 because I was trying to live for the Lord 24:29 and it was there but I was constantly being pulled, 24:31 you know, through my family and things, 24:32 my homeboys and stuff like this. 24:34 So I ended up going to prison and that's where I found out 24:35 about Adventism. 24:37 So you see the full circle, the group homes, prayer life. 24:40 Jail, read the Bible page to page. 24:43 Prison, I found out about Adventism. 24:45 And I was 20 at this time, 24:46 I was 19 when I went to prison, aggravated burglary, 24:48 I was supposed to get a six year sentence 24:49 but I got it two, the Lord blessed me. 24:51 And when you get a two, you do ten months 24:55 and the rest of it on probation. 24:56 So I went in there and I made this a Muslim, 24:58 brother Aaron! 24:59 A Muslim! 25:01 You know, he tried to convert me to Islam 25:03 but, you know, Acts 4:12, 25:05 "There's only one name under the heaven for 25:07 which man may be saved." 25:08 Holy Spirit is like uh-uh. So I was like, "Look, man. 25:09 I can't explain it to you," because you know, 25:11 Islam is a real logical religion, you know, 25:13 they have their own empire, the Ottoman Empire 25:14 all the way up to the 19th century, 25:16 makes a lot of sense, 25:17 and Farrakhan, the brother can speak 25:18 but it's deceptive. 25:20 So because I was really pushing towards it, 25:24 but the Holy Spirit is like, "Acts 4:12. 25:26 There's only one name under the heaven 25:27 which man may be saved." 25:28 There you go. 25:30 So I was, "Look, I can explain it to you, 25:31 but it's, you know, Jesus." 25:33 He was like, "Okay," he was mad, you know, 25:34 he's like, you know, he's like, 25:35 "I hate to admit it but I like you, Josh." 25:37 I never get the brother's name, it was Anthony Paggie, 25:38 he was in there for 40 years, he was in there for murder, 25:42 and he said, "Well, 25:43 at least if you're going to be a Christian, 25:45 be a Seventh-day Adventist 25:46 because they follow what the Bible says. 25:47 So the Muslim is the one that 25:49 talking about the Seventh-day Adventist. 25:50 Never heard of them my whole entire life. 25:52 He was like, "At least if you're going to be 25:53 a Christian, be a Seventh-day Adventist 25:54 because they follow what the Bible says." 25:56 So he gave me this book, Antichrist, 666, 25:58 it was breaking down the Sabbath, 25:59 The 1260-Year Prophecy, papal persecution, you know, 26:03 2300 Day Prophecy, the Book of Revelation, 26:05 and like I told you, earlier, I've always been an action man, 26:07 before I even thought about being a Christian, 26:09 I read the Book of Revelation. 26:10 And so that's what really grabbed me about this church 26:12 because it's the truth, 26:14 and it's dealing with end time events. 26:15 What's going on right now 26:17 whereas most evangelical churches 26:18 won't even touch that. 26:20 And so I compared it with the Bible 26:21 and I'm the type of brother, 26:23 if black is black, white is white. 26:24 If it's a truth, it's a truth. 26:25 So I was like, "Lord, this is the truth." 26:27 But I had never heard of... 26:29 I was 19 at the time, 26:31 but I had never heard of Seventh-day Adventism 26:32 or anything. 26:34 So I was like, "What is this? 26:36 I didn't know it was a worldwide church, 26:38 I didn't know about Oakwood, 26:39 I didn't know about 3ABN or anything like that." 26:42 But what had happened, one of my friends, 26:44 the Lord had me call one of my friends, 26:45 and I wasn't even going to call him, because 26:47 I was like, he's probably just want to smoke. 26:48 But the Holy Spirit impressed me, "No, call him." 26:50 So I called him and he invited me to church. 26:51 I was like, "What! You invited me to church?" 26:53 You know, because I used to be hop preaching to him. 26:55 You know, it was not the Lord 26:56 but you know what's working, you know. 26:58 I understand. 26:59 I was like, "So you're inviting me to church?" 27:01 He was like, "Yeah, I met this girl on Facebook, 27:03 so he had met a girl that was a Seventh-day Adventist 27:04 through Facebook. 27:06 And he's talking about this Seventh-day Adventist, 27:07 "Oh, you're talking about a Seventh-day Adventist church, 27:09 don't you know that church was 10 minutes from my house 27:11 walking distance the whole time. 27:14 So you read about the Great Controversy, 27:15 tell us about that? 27:17 Well, I read the Great Controversy 27:19 and I could tell that it was inspired 27:21 by the Holy Spirit because when I was in prison, 27:22 I was reading a bunch of first day theologians, 27:24 and they were good 27:26 but this was coming straight from God. 27:27 So really convicted me on the truth of this church, 27:30 and I joined the church, and I said, "Lord, okay. 27:33 I'm going to be a minister." 27:35 And I desire to go, you know, to preach the gospel, 27:37 and I wasn't trying to go to school or anything, 27:38 I'm ready to preach. 27:40 And my elders was like, "No, no. 27:42 You should go to Oakwood." I was like, "Nah." 27:43 But they told me to go Oakwood, 27:45 so I went to Oakwood. 27:46 I went to Oakwood, two months out of prison, 27:48 and I've been there since, I'm getting ready to graduate, 27:51 and by God's grace, He'll continue to use me. 27:53 And before I go, I just want to say 27:54 something to people out there, young people. 27:56 No matter what you're going through, 27:57 what you're facing, abusive relationships, 27:59 prison, jail, there's a purpose for it. 28:01 God loves you and He can bring you through. 28:03 Amen, amen. 28:04 Josh, we want to thank you for being on the program. 28:07 Viewers, we appreciate you to tuning in. 28:09 Be sure to tune in next time for another exciting program 28:12 of The New Journey. |
Revised 2017-09-18