Series Code: AFH
Program Code: AFH000020A
00:01 A good father takes time to play.
00:05 He has strong integrity.
00:08 He is someone that is truly dedicated.
00:12 He is not afraid to show his love.
00:15 He is a caring provider.
00:18 And he is a kind spiritual leader.
00:23 These are just a few ways to describe a father's heart.
00:32 Hi and welcome to A Father's Heart.
00:33 I'm your host, Xavier.
00:35 And today, we're going to be discussing
00:36 the topic of bullying.
00:38 What if your child is getting bullied?
00:40 What if your child is the bully?
00:43 And with me to talk about that are my two friends
00:44 Gordon and Denry.
00:46 How are you guys doing today? We're doing great.
00:48 Can't complain, man. Can't complain.
00:50 So how do you feel about bullying,
00:52 you know, what if your child is getting bullied?
00:54 You know, I didn't...
00:56 Before my children were born, this was a theory.
01:00 Now that they're born and they're getting older,
01:02 it's a practice.
01:04 My kids, for whatever reason, at times, they get bullied,
01:09 especially my oldest son.
01:11 He is so much like me, he loves,
01:14 you know, just loves life, very energetic,
01:17 and there were three major occasions
01:21 where he was bullied, and I remember the first one.
01:24 I was at the seminary and they were away in Florida,
01:27 and he was being bullied at school
01:29 and I wanted to call him and say,
01:33 "You need to go there and knock that little boy's teeth out."
01:35 I wanted to say that, and then a good friend of mine,
01:38 he is from Canada, another pastor,
01:41 he pulled me to the side and he said,
01:43 "What's wrong? You seem upset."
01:45 And I told him what's going on,
01:46 and he said, "You know what, man?
01:48 I've had to deal with that too throughout my life."
01:51 I said, "Let's pray, let's go to the God about this.
01:54 Let's go to God."
01:55 He prayed with me and then I went back to my son,
01:57 I said, "I want you to do this.
01:59 I want you to start praying for your friends.
02:02 Pray for the bully, pray for him.
02:03 Like, you know, really pray for him."
02:05 He was like, "Okay."
02:06 I mean, at that time, he was seven years old,
02:08 you know, six or seven.
02:09 I said, "Pray for him, just pray for him."
02:12 Do you know at the end of that first year of school for him,
02:17 when he was leaving and moving to seminary with me,
02:20 his friends were crying that he was leaving,
02:22 the two guys that were bullying him,
02:24 they were crying, they were like,
02:26 "We're going to miss you, you know."
02:27 They became his friends.
02:29 And so I learned to let God win that battle for me.
02:34 This takes me back.
02:36 I know, I was about nine years old,
02:38 and, you know, we didn't call it in Ghana...
02:40 I don't know, we didn't call it bullying.
02:42 I'm so glad that there is some kind of a term now
02:46 that they're using for it.
02:47 A guy used to mess with me, take my lunch.
02:53 And I just...
02:54 I got fed up one day, and he did it,
02:59 I just rolled back, hold my fist,
03:03 and I just let him have it, everything I got.
03:06 I have scars,
03:07 I have long scar by the grace of God
03:10 that had missed one of my main arteries.
03:13 He took a bottle, broke it, and slashed my arm.
03:16 I didn't even know
03:18 he would realize that I was cut,
03:20 but I went into a rage...
03:25 And I was just...
03:26 Blood was just gushing and I was just wailing at him.
03:30 But I thank God that,
03:32 you know, I can look back now at it
03:34 and I can talk to my children,
03:36 I can talk and be open about it.
03:38 I say things that I wouldn't say publicly
03:40 because it's just something that I'm passionate about.
03:45 I think that more awareness needs to be brought forward
03:51 to this whole thing,
03:52 but we need to make our children aware of it.
03:54 I experienced it,
03:57 and as the younger sibling
04:01 and as, you know, my older cousins
04:05 they would fight all of my battles.
04:07 But this time, I was by myself.
04:09 And so for weeks, you know,
04:12 like, this young guy kept doing it,
04:14 and at the end of it,
04:16 even after I came back from the hospital,
04:18 after getting nine stitches in my arms,
04:21 I came back from the hospital, the teacher called me out,
04:26 you know, like I did something wrong,
04:29 and, man, that just really set me off even much,
04:32 but I just said, thank God
04:34 for His protection in keeping me
04:37 because bullying could be
04:39 a real serious matter for our children,
04:43 for our young people,
04:45 and too much...
04:49 You know, enough is not being done,
04:51 I think, especially in our church environment.
04:54 It's a very sensitive thing for me
04:57 because I've experienced it to some level.
05:00 And I like that because, you know, I've always been,
05:03 haven't been the tallest guy in the world...
05:05 Always been very short
05:07 and I got bullied so much and...
05:08 But my dad, he is short, but then my dad told me,
05:12 you know, "Hey, you're strong for your height as am I,
05:16 he said, "It's a genetic trait."
05:18 And I remember God
05:21 showing me that strength was to be used for good.
05:26 You know, I'm saying, I'm saying anything like that,
05:28 but always being underestimated.
05:30 I used to hit the gym when I was a teenager,
05:32 started losing weight, lost all the weight.
05:35 And I remember a few instances that,
05:37 you know, somebody started bullying me,
05:39 I would turn around and just decimate,
05:41 just beat him into unconsciousness...
05:45 You know, and I lost a lot of friends,
05:47 not because of the fighting
05:49 but because I would go into a blind rage
05:53 and the blood on me would not be mine.
05:57 And they told me you're going to kill somebody,
06:00 you don't even need a weapon, you're going to knock somebody
06:04 and you're going to kill him.
06:07 And, you know, being a father,
06:09 how do I deal with that with my girls?
06:12 Yeah, I want them to fight...
06:13 And my girls are feisty and they can fight.
06:17 And I remember one time, my five year old,
06:19 she was at the pool learning swimming lessons
06:21 and this little boy,
06:22 where all the parents were standing out there,
06:24 all the parents, and this little boy was pushing her,
06:27 like tapping her, the flotation device she had,
06:30 and she turns around,
06:31 and I know when she is mad, she turns around
06:34 and I just I look at her and she looks at me,
06:37 she turns back.
06:38 Second time, she turns around real angry as she knows
06:43 somebody's going to get punched,
06:45 and I immediately look at her
06:47 and I have a flashback of myself
06:49 and all I did was put my hands up and just say,
06:51 you know, give a signal to don't do that.
06:55 You know, that's the thing we have to learn about bullying
06:57 that it's real, it's killing our youth,
07:00 literally, people are committing suicide.
07:02 And growing up, you know...
07:05 I don't know, growing up, you always deal with bullies
07:07 through fighting, you know, my dad would be like,
07:11 "Be a man. Be a man and fight.
07:14 Knock him out.
07:15 You know, don't start a fight, but finish it."
07:18 But when I read the Bible, Jesus does it differently.
07:23 You know, some people might call Him weak
07:26 because He doesn't fight, but if my girls get bullied,
07:30 I'm still at odds at to how I'm going to do it,
07:34 how I'm going to help them, you know.
07:36 How would you do it if your kids...
07:40 I know you mentioned that earlier, Denry,
07:42 but how would you do it
07:43 if it's a constant with all your kids getting bullied?
07:48 I would pray.
07:50 I would have to pray.
07:52 But I don't think I'll handle it very well,
07:54 I'm just being real.
07:55 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:56 At this point, I really don't think
07:58 I will handle it very well.
07:59 I think I would be a little aggressive,
08:03 and try not to be overly aggressive,
08:05 but I want to drive a point
08:07 that this child does have a parent that love them,
08:10 and because they have parents, don't mess.
08:15 And we have allowed things to just go on,
08:18 and I think that's the problem, we've allowed things to go on
08:21 and our children will come to us
08:23 and they will talk to us.
08:25 "So, you know, just go on.
08:29 Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it."
08:30 But we have to teach our children
08:33 'cause if somebody is bullying you,
08:35 here's what you do, go to your teacher,
08:39 go to this person, go to that person,
08:41 and then let your parents know.
08:43 A lot of that does not happen, that education needs to happen,
08:47 our children need to know that, and when they come to us,
08:52 we need to make them feel comfortable
08:57 to know that something is going to be done about it,
09:00 not just, "Okay, yeah.
09:03 Okay, dad hear you I hear you, okay."
09:05 You know, no.
09:06 Go handle it.
09:08 My mom used to say to us,
09:09 which is probably not the right thing,
09:11 but, "If you go to school and you get into trouble,
09:15 somebody is fighting you, don't come to me.
09:18 Handle it."
09:20 Yeah, but I think we need to do a little more,
09:23 we need to let our children know that they can come to us,
09:27 we need to be aware as parents
09:28 as to what's happening in our children's lives.
09:30 You know, this is a very delicate subject
09:36 because you have so much extremes
09:37 you can go here.
09:39 You know, similar to you,
09:41 I don't teach my children to fight,
09:42 I tell them, "I do not want to hear
09:44 that you started the fight."
09:45 I've taught my children, this might be controversial,
09:48 to defend themselves, all right?
09:51 To take blows, to block blows, but I don't want to hear
09:55 that you started the fight.
09:56 The reason why I said because people know
09:59 that Christians are supposed to be non-violent
10:03 and they could take advantage of that
10:05 and be manipulative in that.
10:07 And so, you know,
10:08 you don't want to have your child out there
10:11 just vulnerable and not know how to deal with the situation.
10:15 Give them tools, you can either walk away,
10:19 here's some options, right?
10:20 But when you walk away,
10:22 keep your eyes facing the person, right?
10:25 You could call for help, you know, you could...
10:28 There's tools,
10:29 but when we leave them vulnerable, we make...
10:31 You see, Jesus was not weak.
10:33 No, He wasn't.
10:35 He was meek, but He was not weak.
10:38 Think about it for a second.
10:39 You have the most powerful being on earth
10:41 who surrendered Himself, see that's what meekness is,
10:45 surrendering your power for your benefit.
10:49 So I've taught my kids to, when they throw a word at you,
10:53 they call you names or whatever, compliment them,
10:55 throw them off guard, and my son did it and he said,
10:59 "You should have seen the guy's eyes, dad.
11:01 He didn't know what to do after that."
11:03 He was calling me names and I complimented him
11:06 in front of everybody and he was just like.
11:10 "Oh. What? Okay."
11:13 And he moved on.
11:14 And then another time,
11:15 he was being bullied by a girl, right?
11:17 So it's just not a gender thing.
11:19 He was being bullied by a girl and I told him,
11:20 "Don't you say anything.
11:22 Compliment her.
11:23 Tell her how much you appreciate her, you know."
11:25 And he did it and everybody was like...
11:30 And then she would just...
11:32 "You know, I'm not going to mess with you anymore."
11:33 And she stopped.
11:35 Give them tools, give them tools,
11:38 give them options.
11:39 Fighting is not an option.
11:41 "Here you go, this is what you could do,
11:42 you could do this, you could do this,
11:44 you could do this."
11:45 So they're in control and they don't feel vulnerable
11:47 'cause you don't want a child to feel vulnerable.
11:49 So what happens if the child
11:53 don't want to take the compliment,
11:54 I mean, and the child keeps on?
11:56 What do you tell your child then?
11:58 What do you tell your child?
12:00 I mean, like I said...
12:01 If the compliment does not work.
12:02 You know, every case scenario is different,
12:04 you know, but what point I'm trying to say is
12:06 give them tools
12:07 because I used to work in mental health,
12:10 dark valley, very dark.
12:15 Unfortunately, there was a young lady
12:16 who took her life and two others who attempted
12:21 because they were bullied.
12:24 They were left out there vulnerable,
12:26 they didn't want to fight,
12:27 they did not want to have a fight
12:28 and when they tried to fight, they got in trouble.
12:30 One of the girls took her life.
12:34 Do you see what I'm saying?
12:35 So that's why I'm saying
12:36 this is a very delicate situation,
12:38 but my suggestion is give them tools.
12:41 I even think that now we have...
12:44 It's no longer...
12:46 We live in a day and age where fighting
12:47 is not the big bullying thing
12:50 'cause you have now cyber bullying,
12:52 you have the electronic bullying...
12:54 So giving, I mean, tools to our children
12:57 on how do you handle,
12:59 you know, your text messaging
13:01 and you being bullied or being harassed,
13:03 how do we handle that?
13:05 What kind of tools you give your children in that,
13:08 you know, that kind of way?
13:09 Yeah, that's true because it's hard.
13:13 And for cyber bullying, you know,
13:16 there are so many different things,
13:17 obviously report it,
13:21 but how do I deal with it as a father?
13:24 And I know, I counteract that question
13:26 because there are tools to report these things,
13:29 but sometimes those resources are of no help,
13:32 you know, I think of my girls, if they get bullied,
13:35 I'm still coping with it, like that little boy
13:37 that was pushing my daughter, I lost my temper at the pool
13:42 and I looked at the parents
13:43 and I went up to them and I told...
13:45 You know, I was angry.
13:48 I was ready to grab them and grab that kid
13:50 and throw them out the window,
13:52 you know, because that's my child.
13:54 How dare you?
13:56 You know, when I counteract, you know, I'm a pacifist,
13:59 but don't step on my kid.
14:01 If you step on my kid, it's like that sleeping lion,
14:04 you know, he is chilling, he is relaxing, he is sleeping.
14:08 You come into his territory, he wakes up.
14:11 And that's some of the tools that,
14:14 you know, yes, I want to help my girls,
14:17 but how can I help my kids when I myself don't know
14:21 how to deal with it?
14:23 You know, that's some of the tools
14:25 especially with cyber bullying, what can I do?
14:27 Do I smash the phone?
14:28 Do I smash the computer?
14:30 You know, other than prayer,
14:32 you know, what can I do
14:35 to make sure that I react in a way
14:37 that's productive for them?
14:39 What I had to do and God showed me,
14:42 "Well, what do you do when you're bullied,
14:44 you know, even as an adult?"
14:46 As a pastor, we get bullied.
14:47 I mean, we use different words, harass,
14:50 all these different things, adults get bullied.
14:53 You know, I mean, bullying is just a general term for it.
14:56 You see what I'm saying?
14:57 So what do you do?
14:59 Well, I go to you, God.
15:02 "And what do we do?"
15:03 "Oh, I share to you how I feel."
15:07 And so God showed me,
15:08 "Well, your son is coming to you
15:10 or your daughter is coming to you,
15:12 I need you to do the same thing.
15:14 I need you to sit down with them, listen to the hurt."
15:19 Maybe the thing is always
15:20 we're trying to find a solution,
15:24 you know, listen to the hurt...
15:26 Let them know you're there.
15:27 And after you listen to their hurt, build them up.
15:30 See, we forgot out power in a role as parents,
15:34 especially fathers,
15:35 not to denounce the mothers but equal parents,
15:38 but when the fathers encourages and lifts up a child,
15:43 the child is untouchable.
15:47 People still say words about the person,
15:49 but I know my father loves me,
15:52 I know my mother love me, I know my parents love me,
15:55 I know they believe in me, they have confidence in me.
15:58 So whatever you have to say...
16:00 Do you know statistics still say
16:02 the number one influence on a child,
16:04 even teenagers, is the parents.
16:08 We start losing them at college,
16:09 but you can hold them strong
16:11 through even their teenage years.
16:14 So in that time, build them up.
16:15 "Okay, so somebody attacked you?
16:17 So I'm going to build you up so much
16:20 and show you that there's a God in heaven
16:23 who loves you even more than I could do."
16:25 I appreciate what you had to say, Denry, you know,
16:27 and something you touched on earlier with cyber,
16:30 what do you mean by that?
16:32 Like how do you deal with that at your home?
16:34 I think for me, cyber bullying is a big thing
16:38 because we have all of these different medias
16:41 whereby it comes into the home,
16:44 and I think one of the things I do with my home,
16:46 with my children is at a certain time,
16:49 they have to be off their phones,
16:51 they have to be off social media,
16:53 they have to be off these things
16:55 because I do believe
16:56 that it is one of the ways that, you know,
16:59 people get into their lives, they have all these friends.
17:03 And my daughter, for example,
17:06 she had an incident
17:08 where a friend was doing inappropriate things
17:12 and was really beginning to affect her,
17:14 but because she knew that we are parents,
17:16 we are parents in the present, that we are there,
17:21 let me check your phone.
17:22 My wife randomly checks the phone,
17:25 I randomly check the phone.
17:26 At 11 o'clock, the phone's gone.
17:30 We even got to a point where we said
17:32 the phones need to be out of the bedrooms
17:34 and into living room so that there's no reason
17:39 for that child to pick up the phone.
17:40 We live in an age where,
17:42 you know, you have all of these different technological media,
17:47 you can sit in a home and you can open your computer
17:50 or whatever and you arrive into somebody's bedroom
17:53 or right into somebody's house.
17:56 And so I think we have to make our children aware.
17:59 And let's face it, there are young people
18:01 that make some crazy, crazy decisions
18:06 and their judgments aren't always good.
18:09 So they will have their medium and a friend,
18:14 you know, push something through there
18:18 through the social media or through their iPhone or iPad
18:22 and there it is, there is that person
18:25 in not an appropriate way.
18:29 What if your daughter, you know,
18:31 what does she tell when she see this,
18:33 see something like that?
18:34 So that is why I think parenting in the present...
18:37 And it's another form of bullying
18:40 because that person, that child is placed
18:43 in a very compromising situation.
18:47 They don't know what to do, they don't know what to think,
18:49 they don't know how to feel,
18:51 but if you have an open relationship,
18:52 an open dialogue with your children,
18:54 they'll be able to come and say,
18:56 "Dad, mom, this is what's going on."
18:58 Parent in the present, not be so busy
19:03 that you don't have time for your children.
19:05 And in ministry, we as pastors,
19:10 you know, we can be so busy with everybody else
19:14 and leave our families behind.
19:17 You know, my children will say to me,
19:20 "Dad, you're gone a lot."
19:23 For example, I've been gone for a little bit now
19:25 and my son and my daughter said,
19:27 "Dad, you've been gone a lot."
19:29 So I have to check myself
19:32 and intentionally spend time home,
19:36 some appointments don't take
19:38 because I need to be there,
19:40 I need to parent in the present.
19:42 Yeah, basically, be a parent, not a friend...
19:44 Be a parent, not a friend.
19:45 Which is critical, you know, but here's a flip slide to it.
19:49 What if your child who has been the bully,
19:51 what do you do then?
19:53 I mean traditionally, whippings.
19:56 Traditionally, but has that been effective
20:01 to a certain extent in our lives?
20:02 You know what can we do aside from the traditional whipping
20:07 to help our children not be bullies?
20:09 Go ahead. Go ahead, bud.
20:10 Oh, you're the senior. Go ahead.
20:12 Oh, I'll take it. I'll take it.
20:14 I still believe in the whippings,
20:16 but even more,
20:18 I think having that conversation,
20:20 having a relationship with your children
20:24 whereby you can talk to them
20:25 and they know that you are not a friend,
20:27 you're a parent
20:29 and you're serious of what you say,
20:31 and I think that makes a whole lot of difference
20:33 when the child know that, "Hey, listen, I can't do this
20:37 because I have boundaries.
20:38 There's rules, there's things in my home
20:42 that keeps me in line," And if you have that...
20:46 We have sat down with our children
20:48 and we make rules, they're included into rules.
20:52 You do this, this is the consequence,
20:54 if you break this rule...
20:56 And we have them
20:57 talk about what the consequences will be.
21:00 That way, they know that bullying,
21:03 "I can't do it because I'm breaking the rule
21:05 and if I do, this is the consequence,
21:07 the consequence that I myself was a part of devising."
21:13 So I think those are some of the things
21:15 that I think is very important if your child is...
21:17 They need to know their boundaries.
21:19 You know, there's this saying, "Broken people break people."
21:23 You know, if a glass is beautiful...
21:24 You know, we have a glass vase,
21:26 whatever language you want to use,
21:28 and when it's in its whole, it's beautiful,
21:31 but when it's broken and you touch it,
21:34 even if it's just a crack or totally,
21:37 you know, broken, you can get cut,
21:40 and the same thing would happen with children.
21:42 A lot of the children who do bullying have some brokenness.
21:49 They're not getting attention at home
21:51 or they're over spoiled at home
21:53 or it is some damage that they're getting at home
21:56 that they passed on.
21:58 How do I know this?
21:59 I'm not a psychologist,
22:00 I don't claim to be a philosopher,
22:02 but I've seen it also with my child,
22:06 the same son, right?
22:09 You know, there was a time in my life,
22:10 16 hour day shift working, right?
22:14 There was a time
22:15 where even pastoring at the beginning,
22:18 I was everywhere the church needed me, right?
22:22 And I notice his behavior
22:24 towards his younger brother.
22:28 He would bully his younger brother.
22:32 Like he would have this attitude of entitlement,
22:36 he had this attitude of like bossiness,
22:39 you know, making fun, whatever.
22:41 So I had to sit him down, "Tell me what's going on."
22:45 And I got to also realize, showed me
22:48 you have not been there enough to model him,
22:53 and good example to him.
22:55 This kid is dealing with some things at school.
22:58 Yes, you have dealt with that,
23:00 but he still needs some guidance
23:02 on how to treat others, you know, because he is hurt,
23:07 so he still needs some guidance.
23:09 So the beautiful thing now I'm realizing as minister,
23:11 we don't always have to jump
23:14 to every church member's beckon.
23:17 And so what happens is at times...
23:19 Let's just be honest.
23:20 There's times...
23:22 I'm not always busy,
23:23 I'm not always working on a sermon,
23:24 and so there's times,
23:26 when I'm spending at home and my children are there,
23:28 you find this new thing of called parenting.
23:33 Now I have to, like you said, parent in the present
23:36 and also in their presence,
23:41 not outside, you know, call on the phone.
23:44 I have to now get interactive with them,
23:48 get involved in what they're doing,
23:50 and when you buy that involvement now,
23:53 "Daddy cares about me, daddy loves me.
23:56 So now I don't need to go out and get his attention,
23:59 I don't need to try to bully anybody else
24:01 because I am secure
24:04 because my parents have established me
24:07 that I'm secure."
24:09 Now is that possible
24:12 that not everything looks like bullying?
24:15 It looks like bullying, but maybe it's not.
24:18 I think it's redirection sometimes.
24:21 You know, here is your child or here's my child
24:23 or whoever and that child
24:25 is very much aggressive,
24:29 you know, in their behavior.
24:31 It is possible what you're looking at
24:33 is a leader,
24:35 not so much somebody
24:39 that wants to hurt somebody,
24:42 but they're a leader.
24:43 So what you do is that you channel that energy,
24:48 you be able to, that present that parenting.
24:51 Look at it, look at your son and say, "You know what?
24:54 Here's another way you can do it."
24:56 Not to take that ability of leadership from them,
25:02 but to help them channel and help them to develop it,
25:06 help them to make it positive instead of negative.
25:10 Yes, brokenness
25:11 does cause our children to do different things
25:13 but I do think that a lot of...
25:15 I look at a lot of kids that are bullying
25:18 and what we call bullying, but what I see
25:21 is potential leaders that need to,
25:24 you know, you need to be able to sit down with them
25:26 and may have to help them channel it in differ way.
25:29 So modeling is important.
25:31 Modeling, yes. You keep saying this.
25:33 And modeling requires you to invest your time,
25:37 sacrifice your time,
25:38 and show them how to respond to things this way
25:42 Christ would have,
25:43 but it has to come from a transformed heart...
25:46 Which you have to let Christ do
25:47 'cause you can model something now
25:48 that when it goes out there,
25:51 you regret it coming back.
25:53 And we have to be fathers. Yeah.
25:55 We have to be fathers, pointing at somebody,
25:57 my dad always made time for me,
26:01 you know, my dad always made time for me
26:03 and he always taught me that,
26:05 you know, it's about my girls, my kids, modeling,
26:09 you know, and being able to help them
26:11 be the best they can be
26:13 and just learn it from the mistakes,
26:15 you know, and I think that's important for your child
26:17 not to deal with bullying, but also not be a bully
26:20 is give him strategies to deal not just the physical,
26:23 even though yes,
26:24 I like teaching my girls self-defense
26:26 mechanisms, physical,
26:28 but also, you know, the main thing is verbal.
26:31 Yeah. Main thing is verbal.
26:33 Yeah, sticks and stones can break your bones,
26:35 I beg to differ.
26:37 But I appreciate what you had to say.
26:39 You know, this could be going on forever,
26:42 so we've got to pick it up sometime again.
26:44 And for our viewers out there,
26:48 bullying is a topic
26:50 and it's an issue
26:52 that we're dealing with every day.
26:54 We deal with it as adults,
26:55 it just has a different meaning,
26:57 it's a different word, but it's the same thing,
27:00 and modeling, yes, is key to show your kids
27:03 how to deal with bullying.
27:05 And also, fathers, create an environment
27:07 in which your kids can talk to you,
27:10 speak to you openly, so that way,
27:13 they can share with you
27:14 if they're going through something,
27:16 while at the same time not being fearful
27:17 that you're going to go out there
27:19 and beat people up to help them.
27:22 The key is what are you doing to harness
27:24 that relationship with your children,
27:27 what are you doing to promote that environment of sharing
27:31 and promote that in heart that shines like Christ.
27:35 It's important.
27:37 Fathers, you need to step up, step up,
27:40 not just be a protector,
27:42 but also be somebody that can allow them
27:44 to walk through the emotional valleys,
27:47 not alone but together with you.
27:50 And, pastors, please remember,
27:53 Jesus says Jerusalem is your first ministry,
27:56 your home, don't forget that as you're doing ministry.
27:59 But thank you for watching.