Participants:
Series Code: AFH
Program Code: AFH000020A
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00:01 A good father takes time to play.
00:05 He has strong integrity. 00:08 He is someone that is truly dedicated. 00:12 He is not afraid to show his love. 00:15 He is a caring provider. 00:18 And he is a kind spiritual leader. 00:23 These are just a few ways to describe a father's heart. 00:32 Hi and welcome to A Father's Heart. 00:33 I'm your host, Xavier. 00:35 And today, we're going to be discussing 00:36 the topic of bullying. 00:38 What if your child is getting bullied? 00:40 What if your child is the bully? 00:43 And with me to talk about that are my two friends 00:44 Gordon and Denry. 00:46 How are you guys doing today? We're doing great. 00:48 Can't complain, man. Can't complain. 00:50 So how do you feel about bullying, 00:52 you know, what if your child is getting bullied? 00:54 You know, I didn't... 00:56 Before my children were born, this was a theory. 01:00 Now that they're born and they're getting older, 01:02 it's a practice. 01:04 My kids, for whatever reason, at times, they get bullied, 01:09 especially my oldest son. 01:11 He is so much like me, he loves, 01:14 you know, just loves life, very energetic, 01:17 and there were three major occasions 01:21 where he was bullied, and I remember the first one. 01:24 I was at the seminary and they were away in Florida, 01:27 and he was being bullied at school 01:29 and I wanted to call him and say, 01:33 "You need to go there and knock that little boy's teeth out." 01:35 I wanted to say that, and then a good friend of mine, 01:38 he is from Canada, another pastor, 01:41 he pulled me to the side and he said, 01:43 "What's wrong? You seem upset." 01:45 And I told him what's going on, 01:46 and he said, "You know what, man? 01:48 I've had to deal with that too throughout my life." 01:51 I said, "Let's pray, let's go to the God about this. 01:54 Let's go to God." 01:55 He prayed with me and then I went back to my son, 01:57 I said, "I want you to do this. 01:59 I want you to start praying for your friends. 02:02 Pray for the bully, pray for him. 02:03 Like, you know, really pray for him." 02:05 He was like, "Okay." 02:06 I mean, at that time, he was seven years old, 02:08 you know, six or seven. 02:09 I said, "Pray for him, just pray for him." 02:12 Do you know at the end of that first year of school for him, 02:17 when he was leaving and moving to seminary with me, 02:20 his friends were crying that he was leaving, 02:22 the two guys that were bullying him, 02:24 they were crying, they were like, 02:26 "We're going to miss you, you know." 02:27 They became his friends. 02:29 And so I learned to let God win that battle for me. 02:34 This takes me back. 02:36 I know, I was about nine years old, 02:38 and, you know, we didn't call it in Ghana... 02:40 I don't know, we didn't call it bullying. 02:42 I'm so glad that there is some kind of a term now 02:46 that they're using for it. 02:47 A guy used to mess with me, take my lunch. 02:52 Yeah. 02:53 And I just... 02:54 I got fed up one day, and he did it, 02:59 I just rolled back, hold my fist, 03:03 and I just let him have it, everything I got. 03:06 I have scars, 03:07 I have long scar by the grace of God 03:10 that had missed one of my main arteries. 03:13 He took a bottle, broke it, and slashed my arm. 03:16 I didn't even know 03:18 he would realize that I was cut, 03:20 but I went into a rage... 03:23 Mercy. 03:25 And I was just... 03:26 Blood was just gushing and I was just wailing at him. 03:30 But I thank God that, 03:32 you know, I can look back now at it 03:34 and I can talk to my children, 03:36 I can talk and be open about it. 03:38 I say things that I wouldn't say publicly 03:40 because it's just something that I'm passionate about. 03:45 I think that more awareness needs to be brought forward 03:51 to this whole thing, 03:52 but we need to make our children aware of it. 03:54 I experienced it, 03:57 and as the younger sibling 04:01 and as, you know, my older cousins 04:05 they would fight all of my battles. 04:07 But this time, I was by myself. 04:09 And so for weeks, you know, 04:12 like, this young guy kept doing it, 04:14 and at the end of it, 04:16 even after I came back from the hospital, 04:18 after getting nine stitches in my arms, 04:21 I came back from the hospital, the teacher called me out, 04:26 you know, like I did something wrong, 04:29 and, man, that just really set me off even much, 04:32 but I just said, thank God 04:34 for His protection in keeping me 04:37 because bullying could be 04:39 a real serious matter for our children, 04:43 for our young people, 04:45 and too much... 04:49 You know, enough is not being done, 04:51 I think, especially in our church environment. 04:54 It's a very sensitive thing for me 04:57 because I've experienced it to some level. 05:00 And I like that because, you know, I've always been, 05:03 haven't been the tallest guy in the world... 05:04 Yeah. 05:05 Always been very short 05:07 and I got bullied so much and... 05:08 But my dad, he is short, but then my dad told me, 05:12 you know, "Hey, you're strong for your height as am I, 05:16 he said, "It's a genetic trait." 05:18 And I remember God 05:21 showing me that strength was to be used for good. 05:26 You know, I'm saying, I'm saying anything like that, 05:28 but always being underestimated. 05:30 I used to hit the gym when I was a teenager, 05:32 started losing weight, lost all the weight. 05:35 And I remember a few instances that, 05:37 you know, somebody started bullying me, 05:39 I would turn around and just decimate, 05:41 just beat him into unconsciousness... 05:44 Mercy. 05:45 You know, and I lost a lot of friends, 05:47 not because of the fighting 05:49 but because I would go into a blind rage 05:53 and the blood on me would not be mine. 05:57 And they told me you're going to kill somebody, 06:00 you don't even need a weapon, you're going to knock somebody 06:04 and you're going to kill him. 06:05 Yeah. 06:07 And, you know, being a father, 06:09 how do I deal with that with my girls? 06:12 Yeah, I want them to fight... 06:13 And my girls are feisty and they can fight. 06:17 And I remember one time, my five year old, 06:19 she was at the pool learning swimming lessons 06:21 and this little boy, 06:22 where all the parents were standing out there, 06:24 all the parents, and this little boy was pushing her, 06:27 like tapping her, the flotation device she had, 06:30 and she turns around, 06:31 and I know when she is mad, she turns around 06:34 and I just I look at her and she looks at me, 06:37 she turns back. 06:38 Second time, she turns around real angry as she knows 06:43 somebody's going to get punched, 06:45 and I immediately look at her 06:47 and I have a flashback of myself 06:49 and all I did was put my hands up and just say, 06:51 you know, give a signal to don't do that. 06:55 You know, that's the thing we have to learn about bullying 06:57 that it's real, it's killing our youth, 07:00 literally, people are committing suicide. 07:02 And growing up, you know... 07:05 I don't know, growing up, you always deal with bullies 07:07 through fighting, you know, my dad would be like, 07:11 "Be a man. Be a man and fight. 07:14 Knock him out. 07:15 You know, don't start a fight, but finish it." 07:18 But when I read the Bible, Jesus does it differently. 07:23 You know, some people might call Him weak 07:26 because He doesn't fight, but if my girls get bullied, 07:30 I'm still at odds at to how I'm going to do it, 07:34 how I'm going to help them, you know. 07:36 How would you do it if your kids... 07:40 I know you mentioned that earlier, Denry, 07:42 but how would you do it 07:43 if it's a constant with all your kids getting bullied? 07:48 I would pray. 07:50 I would have to pray. 07:52 But I don't think I'll handle it very well, 07:54 I'm just being real. 07:55 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 07:56 At this point, I really don't think 07:58 I will handle it very well. 07:59 I think I would be a little aggressive, 08:03 and try not to be overly aggressive, 08:05 but I want to drive a point 08:07 that this child does have a parent that love them, 08:10 and because they have parents, don't mess. 08:14 Yeah. 08:15 And we have allowed things to just go on, 08:18 and I think that's the problem, we've allowed things to go on 08:21 and our children will come to us 08:23 and they will talk to us. 08:25 "So, you know, just go on. 08:29 Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it." 08:30 But we have to teach our children 08:33 'cause if somebody is bullying you, 08:35 here's what you do, go to your teacher, 08:39 go to this person, go to that person, 08:41 and then let your parents know. 08:43 A lot of that does not happen, that education needs to happen, 08:47 our children need to know that, and when they come to us, 08:52 we need to make them feel comfortable 08:57 to know that something is going to be done about it, 09:00 not just, "Okay, yeah. 09:03 Okay, dad hear you I hear you, okay." 09:05 You know, no. 09:06 Go handle it. 09:08 My mom used to say to us, 09:09 which is probably not the right thing, 09:11 but, "If you go to school and you get into trouble, 09:15 somebody is fighting you, don't come to me. 09:18 Handle it." 09:20 Yeah, but I think we need to do a little more, 09:23 we need to let our children know that they can come to us, 09:27 we need to be aware as parents 09:28 as to what's happening in our children's lives. 09:30 You know, this is a very delicate subject 09:36 because you have so much extremes 09:37 you can go here. 09:39 You know, similar to you, 09:41 I don't teach my children to fight, 09:42 I tell them, "I do not want to hear 09:44 that you started the fight." 09:45 I've taught my children, this might be controversial, 09:48 to defend themselves, all right? 09:51 To take blows, to block blows, but I don't want to hear 09:55 that you started the fight. 09:56 The reason why I said because people know 09:59 that Christians are supposed to be non-violent 10:03 and they could take advantage of that 10:05 and be manipulative in that. 10:07 And so, you know, 10:08 you don't want to have your child out there 10:11 just vulnerable and not know how to deal with the situation. 10:15 Give them tools, you can either walk away, 10:19 here's some options, right? 10:20 But when you walk away, 10:22 keep your eyes facing the person, right? 10:25 You could call for help, you know, you could... 10:28 There's tools, 10:29 but when we leave them vulnerable, we make... 10:31 You see, Jesus was not weak. 10:33 No, He wasn't. 10:35 He was meek, but He was not weak. 10:38 Think about it for a second. 10:39 You have the most powerful being on earth 10:41 who surrendered Himself, see that's what meekness is, 10:45 surrendering your power for your benefit. 10:49 So I've taught my kids to, when they throw a word at you, 10:53 they call you names or whatever, compliment them, 10:55 throw them off guard, and my son did it and he said, 10:59 "You should have seen the guy's eyes, dad. 11:01 He didn't know what to do after that." 11:03 He was calling me names and I complimented him 11:06 in front of everybody and he was just like. 11:10 "Oh. What? Okay." 11:13 And he moved on. 11:14 And then another time, 11:15 he was being bullied by a girl, right? 11:17 So it's just not a gender thing. 11:19 He was being bullied by a girl and I told him, 11:20 "Don't you say anything. 11:22 Compliment her. 11:23 Tell her how much you appreciate her, you know." 11:25 And he did it and everybody was like... 11:30 And then she would just... 11:32 "You know, I'm not going to mess with you anymore." 11:33 And she stopped. 11:35 Give them tools, give them tools, 11:38 give them options. 11:39 Fighting is not an option. 11:41 "Here you go, this is what you could do, 11:42 you could do this, you could do this, 11:44 you could do this." 11:45 So they're in control and they don't feel vulnerable 11:47 'cause you don't want a child to feel vulnerable. 11:49 So what happens if the child 11:53 don't want to take the compliment, 11:54 I mean, and the child keeps on? 11:56 What do you tell your child then? 11:58 What do you tell your child? 12:00 I mean, like I said... 12:01 If the compliment does not work. 12:02 You know, every case scenario is different, 12:04 you know, but what point I'm trying to say is 12:06 give them tools 12:07 because I used to work in mental health, 12:10 dark valley, very dark. 12:15 Unfortunately, there was a young lady 12:16 who took her life and two others who attempted 12:21 because they were bullied. 12:24 They were left out there vulnerable, 12:26 they didn't want to fight, 12:27 they did not want to have a fight 12:28 and when they tried to fight, they got in trouble. 12:30 One of the girls took her life. 12:32 Dark. 12:34 Do you see what I'm saying? 12:35 So that's why I'm saying 12:36 this is a very delicate situation, 12:38 but my suggestion is give them tools. 12:41 I even think that now we have... 12:44 It's no longer... 12:46 We live in a day and age where fighting 12:47 is not the big bullying thing 12:50 'cause you have now cyber bullying, 12:52 you have the electronic bullying... 12:53 Yeah. 12:54 So giving, I mean, tools to our children 12:57 on how do you handle, 12:59 you know, your text messaging 13:01 and you being bullied or being harassed, 13:03 how do we handle that? 13:05 What kind of tools you give your children in that, 13:08 you know, that kind of way? 13:09 Yeah, that's true because it's hard. 13:13 And for cyber bullying, you know, 13:16 there are so many different things, 13:17 obviously report it, 13:21 but how do I deal with it as a father? 13:24 And I know, I counteract that question 13:26 because there are tools to report these things, 13:29 but sometimes those resources are of no help, 13:32 you know, I think of my girls, if they get bullied, 13:35 I'm still coping with it, like that little boy 13:37 that was pushing my daughter, I lost my temper at the pool 13:42 and I looked at the parents 13:43 and I went up to them and I told... 13:45 You know, I was angry. 13:48 I was ready to grab them and grab that kid 13:50 and throw them out the window, 13:52 you know, because that's my child. 13:54 How dare you? 13:56 You know, when I counteract, you know, I'm a pacifist, 13:59 but don't step on my kid. 14:01 If you step on my kid, it's like that sleeping lion, 14:04 you know, he is chilling, he is relaxing, he is sleeping. 14:08 You come into his territory, he wakes up. 14:11 And that's some of the tools that, 14:14 you know, yes, I want to help my girls, 14:17 but how can I help my kids when I myself don't know 14:21 how to deal with it? 14:23 You know, that's some of the tools 14:25 especially with cyber bullying, what can I do? 14:27 Do I smash the phone? 14:28 Do I smash the computer? 14:30 You know, other than prayer, 14:32 you know, what can I do 14:35 to make sure that I react in a way 14:37 that's productive for them? 14:39 What I had to do and God showed me, 14:42 "Well, what do you do when you're bullied, 14:44 you know, even as an adult?" 14:46 As a pastor, we get bullied. 14:47 I mean, we use different words, harass, 14:50 all these different things, adults get bullied. 14:53 You know, I mean, bullying is just a general term for it. 14:56 You see what I'm saying? 14:57 So what do you do? 14:59 Well, I go to you, God. 15:02 "And what do we do?" 15:03 "Oh, I share to you how I feel." 15:07 And so God showed me, 15:08 "Well, your son is coming to you 15:10 or your daughter is coming to you, 15:12 I need you to do the same thing. 15:14 I need you to sit down with them, listen to the hurt." 15:17 Yes. 15:19 Maybe the thing is always 15:20 we're trying to find a solution, 15:24 you know, listen to the hurt... 15:26 Let them know you're there. 15:27 And after you listen to their hurt, build them up. 15:30 See, we forgot out power in a role as parents, 15:34 especially fathers, 15:35 not to denounce the mothers but equal parents, 15:38 but when the fathers encourages and lifts up a child, 15:43 the child is untouchable. 15:45 Yes. 15:47 People still say words about the person, 15:49 but I know my father loves me, 15:52 I know my mother love me, I know my parents love me, 15:55 I know they believe in me, they have confidence in me. 15:58 So whatever you have to say... 16:00 Do you know statistics still say 16:02 the number one influence on a child, 16:04 even teenagers, is the parents. 16:06 Yes. 16:08 We start losing them at college, 16:09 but you can hold them strong 16:11 through even their teenage years. 16:14 So in that time, build them up. 16:15 "Okay, so somebody attacked you? 16:17 So I'm going to build you up so much 16:20 and show you that there's a God in heaven 16:23 who loves you even more than I could do." 16:25 I appreciate what you had to say, Denry, you know, 16:27 and something you touched on earlier with cyber, 16:30 what do you mean by that? 16:32 Like how do you deal with that at your home? 16:34 I think for me, cyber bullying is a big thing 16:38 because we have all of these different medias 16:41 whereby it comes into the home, 16:44 and I think one of the things I do with my home, 16:46 with my children is at a certain time, 16:49 they have to be off their phones, 16:51 they have to be off social media, 16:53 they have to be off these things 16:55 because I do believe 16:56 that it is one of the ways that, you know, 16:59 people get into their lives, they have all these friends. 17:03 And my daughter, for example, 17:06 she had an incident 17:08 where a friend was doing inappropriate things 17:12 and was really beginning to affect her, 17:14 but because she knew that we are parents, 17:16 we are parents in the present, that we are there, 17:21 let me check your phone. 17:22 My wife randomly checks the phone, 17:25 I randomly check the phone. 17:26 At 11 o'clock, the phone's gone. 17:30 We even got to a point where we said 17:32 the phones need to be out of the bedrooms 17:34 and into living room so that there's no reason 17:39 for that child to pick up the phone. 17:40 We live in an age where, 17:42 you know, you have all of these different technological media, 17:47 you can sit in a home and you can open your computer 17:50 or whatever and you arrive into somebody's bedroom 17:53 or right into somebody's house. 17:56 And so I think we have to make our children aware. 17:59 And let's face it, there are young people 18:01 that make some crazy, crazy decisions 18:06 and their judgments aren't always good. 18:09 So they will have their medium and a friend, 18:14 you know, push something through there 18:18 through the social media or through their iPhone or iPad 18:22 and there it is, there is that person 18:25 in not an appropriate way. 18:29 What if your daughter, you know, 18:31 what does she tell when she see this, 18:33 see something like that? 18:34 So that is why I think parenting in the present... 18:37 And it's another form of bullying 18:40 because that person, that child is placed 18:43 in a very compromising situation. 18:47 They don't know what to do, they don't know what to think, 18:49 they don't know how to feel, 18:51 but if you have an open relationship, 18:52 an open dialogue with your children, 18:54 they'll be able to come and say, 18:56 "Dad, mom, this is what's going on." 18:58 Parent in the present, not be so busy 19:03 that you don't have time for your children. 19:05 And in ministry, we as pastors, 19:10 you know, we can be so busy with everybody else 19:14 and leave our families behind. 19:15 Yeah. 19:17 You know, my children will say to me, 19:20 "Dad, you're gone a lot." 19:23 For example, I've been gone for a little bit now 19:25 and my son and my daughter said, 19:27 "Dad, you've been gone a lot." 19:29 So I have to check myself 19:32 and intentionally spend time home, 19:36 some appointments don't take 19:38 because I need to be there, 19:40 I need to parent in the present. 19:42 Yeah, basically, be a parent, not a friend... 19:44 Be a parent, not a friend. 19:45 Which is critical, you know, but here's a flip slide to it. 19:49 What if your child who has been the bully, 19:51 what do you do then? 19:53 I mean traditionally, whippings. 19:54 Yeah. 19:56 Traditionally, but has that been effective 20:01 to a certain extent in our lives? 20:02 You know what can we do aside from the traditional whipping 20:07 to help our children not be bullies? 20:09 Go ahead. Go ahead, bud. 20:10 Oh, you're the senior. Go ahead. 20:12 Oh, I'll take it. I'll take it. 20:14 I still believe in the whippings, 20:16 but even more, 20:18 I think having that conversation, 20:20 having a relationship with your children 20:24 whereby you can talk to them 20:25 and they know that you are not a friend, 20:27 you're a parent 20:29 and you're serious of what you say, 20:31 and I think that makes a whole lot of difference 20:33 when the child know that, "Hey, listen, I can't do this 20:37 because I have boundaries. 20:38 There's rules, there's things in my home 20:42 that keeps me in line," And if you have that... 20:46 We have sat down with our children 20:48 and we make rules, they're included into rules. 20:52 You do this, this is the consequence, 20:54 if you break this rule... 20:56 And we have them 20:57 talk about what the consequences will be. 21:00 That way, they know that bullying, 21:03 "I can't do it because I'm breaking the rule 21:05 and if I do, this is the consequence, 21:07 the consequence that I myself was a part of devising." 21:13 So I think those are some of the things 21:15 that I think is very important if your child is... 21:17 They need to know their boundaries. 21:19 You know, there's this saying, "Broken people break people." 21:21 Yeah. 21:23 You know, if a glass is beautiful... 21:24 You know, we have a glass vase, 21:26 whatever language you want to use, 21:28 and when it's in its whole, it's beautiful, 21:31 but when it's broken and you touch it, 21:34 even if it's just a crack or totally, 21:37 you know, broken, you can get cut, 21:40 and the same thing would happen with children. 21:42 A lot of the children who do bullying have some brokenness. 21:48 Yes. 21:49 They're not getting attention at home 21:51 or they're over spoiled at home 21:53 or it is some damage that they're getting at home 21:56 that they passed on. 21:58 How do I know this? 21:59 I'm not a psychologist, 22:00 I don't claim to be a philosopher, 22:02 but I've seen it also with my child, 22:06 the same son, right? 22:09 You know, there was a time in my life, 22:10 16 hour day shift working, right? 22:14 There was a time 22:15 where even pastoring at the beginning, 22:18 I was everywhere the church needed me, right? 22:22 And I notice his behavior 22:24 towards his younger brother. 22:28 He would bully his younger brother. 22:32 Like he would have this attitude of entitlement, 22:36 he had this attitude of like bossiness, 22:39 you know, making fun, whatever. 22:41 So I had to sit him down, "Tell me what's going on." 22:45 And I got to also realize, showed me 22:48 you have not been there enough to model him, 22:53 and good example to him. 22:55 This kid is dealing with some things at school. 22:58 Yes, you have dealt with that, 23:00 but he still needs some guidance 23:02 on how to treat others, you know, because he is hurt, 23:07 so he still needs some guidance. 23:09 So the beautiful thing now I'm realizing as minister, 23:11 we don't always have to jump 23:14 to every church member's beckon. 23:17 And so what happens is at times... 23:19 Let's just be honest. 23:20 There's times... 23:22 I'm not always busy, 23:23 I'm not always working on a sermon, 23:24 and so there's times, 23:26 when I'm spending at home and my children are there, 23:28 you find this new thing of called parenting. 23:33 Now I have to, like you said, parent in the present 23:36 and also in their presence, 23:41 not outside, you know, call on the phone. 23:44 I have to now get interactive with them, 23:48 get involved in what they're doing, 23:50 and when you buy that involvement now, 23:53 "Daddy cares about me, daddy loves me. 23:56 So now I don't need to go out and get his attention, 23:59 I don't need to try to bully anybody else 24:01 because I am secure 24:04 because my parents have established me 24:07 that I'm secure." 24:09 Now is that possible 24:12 that not everything looks like bullying? 24:15 It looks like bullying, but maybe it's not. 24:18 I think it's redirection sometimes. 24:20 Yes. 24:21 You know, here is your child or here's my child 24:23 or whoever and that child 24:25 is very much aggressive, 24:29 you know, in their behavior. 24:31 It is possible what you're looking at 24:33 is a leader, 24:35 not so much somebody 24:39 that wants to hurt somebody, 24:42 but they're a leader. 24:43 So what you do is that you channel that energy, 24:48 you be able to, that present that parenting. 24:51 Look at it, look at your son and say, "You know what? 24:54 Here's another way you can do it." 24:56 Not to take that ability of leadership from them, 25:02 but to help them channel and help them to develop it, 25:06 help them to make it positive instead of negative. 25:10 Yes, brokenness 25:11 does cause our children to do different things 25:13 but I do think that a lot of... 25:15 I look at a lot of kids that are bullying 25:18 and what we call bullying, but what I see 25:21 is potential leaders that need to, 25:24 you know, you need to be able to sit down with them 25:26 and may have to help them channel it in differ way. 25:29 So modeling is important. 25:31 Modeling, yes. You keep saying this. 25:33 And modeling requires you to invest your time, 25:37 sacrifice your time, 25:38 and show them how to respond to things this way 25:42 Christ would have, 25:43 but it has to come from a transformed heart... 25:44 Yes. 25:46 Which you have to let Christ do 25:47 'cause you can model something now 25:48 that when it goes out there, 25:51 you regret it coming back. 25:53 And we have to be fathers. Yeah. 25:55 We have to be fathers, pointing at somebody, 25:57 my dad always made time for me, 26:01 you know, my dad always made time for me 26:03 and he always taught me that, 26:05 you know, it's about my girls, my kids, modeling, 26:09 you know, and being able to help them 26:11 be the best they can be 26:13 and just learn it from the mistakes, 26:15 you know, and I think that's important for your child 26:17 not to deal with bullying, but also not be a bully 26:20 is give him strategies to deal not just the physical, 26:23 even though yes, 26:24 I like teaching my girls self-defense 26:26 mechanisms, physical, 26:28 but also, you know, the main thing is verbal. 26:31 Yeah. Main thing is verbal. 26:33 Yeah, sticks and stones can break your bones, 26:35 I beg to differ. 26:37 But I appreciate what you had to say. 26:39 You know, this could be going on forever, 26:42 so we've got to pick it up sometime again. 26:44 And for our viewers out there, 26:48 bullying is a topic 26:50 and it's an issue 26:52 that we're dealing with every day. 26:54 We deal with it as adults, 26:55 it just has a different meaning, 26:57 it's a different word, but it's the same thing, 27:00 and modeling, yes, is key to show your kids 27:03 how to deal with bullying. 27:05 And also, fathers, create an environment 27:07 in which your kids can talk to you, 27:10 speak to you openly, so that way, 27:13 they can share with you 27:14 if they're going through something, 27:16 while at the same time not being fearful 27:17 that you're going to go out there 27:19 and beat people up to help them. 27:22 The key is what are you doing to harness 27:24 that relationship with your children, 27:27 what are you doing to promote that environment of sharing 27:31 and promote that in heart that shines like Christ. 27:35 It's important. 27:37 Fathers, you need to step up, step up, 27:40 not just be a protector, 27:42 but also be somebody that can allow them 27:44 to walk through the emotional valleys, 27:47 not alone but together with you. 27:50 And, pastors, please remember, 27:53 Jesus says Jerusalem is your first ministry, 27:56 your home, don't forget that as you're doing ministry. 27:59 But thank you for watching. |
Revised 2018-10-18