Participants:
Series Code: AFH
Program Code: AFH000022A
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00:01 A good father takes time to play.
00:05 He has strong integrity. 00:08 He is someone that is truly dedicated. 00:12 He's not afraid to show his love. 00:15 He is a caring provider, 00:18 and he is a kind spiritual leader. 00:23 These are just a few ways to describe a father's heart. 00:31 Hi, welcome to A Father's Heart. 00:32 I'm your host Xavier. 00:34 And today, we're going to be discussing 00:35 saving our young men from violence 00:37 but this is part two. 00:38 As we have discussed before, there's been an issue, 00:41 an epidemic over young men killing each other. 00:44 And with me to discuss this once more 00:46 are my friends Gordon and Paul. 00:47 How are you guys doing today? 00:49 Welcome back. Doing great. 00:50 Hey, brother. Blessed to be here, man. 00:51 So last time, we left off. 00:53 We were discussing the different things 00:55 that were happening to our young men 00:56 in the community and, Paul, you shared a powerful testimony 00:59 of how God brought you out of that environment 01:02 of gangs and killing. 01:05 And luckily, you know, you're here today 01:07 because of God's grace. 01:08 Yes, indeed, indeed. 01:10 I want to continue on a point of prayer, 01:12 prayer in the church, prayer in the home. 01:14 The spirituality of our home environment, 01:17 spirituality of the church environment, both matters, 01:20 both play a significant role in helping our children 01:24 to remain cohesively bonded to this movement. 01:28 I want to share quickly a short testimony. 01:29 At some point, maybe I was about 17 or so, 01:32 I'd already been arrested a few times, I've been stabbed, 01:36 I've been in a shooting incident. 01:38 I was quite distant from anywhere close 01:41 to desiring to be a prodigy. 01:43 Mom called me up one morning, and she's like, 01:44 "Son, I have something sad to tell you. 01:48 And I wonder if you can join us this afternoon 01:49 for prayer meeting, 01:50 group of friends coming over to the house 01:52 and we're going to pray for you." 01:53 "No. 01:55 For what? What? No, man. 01:56 Oh, pray this, pray that, pray this." 01:58 "No, no, no, son. 01:59 I'm serious. 02:00 The board is meeting to decide 02:03 whether or not to write you out of the church 02:06 because they have learned that, you know, 02:08 you haven't been there in over six, seven years, 02:10 and people are aware you're in the street 02:12 and you're dealing with drugs and this kind of stuff 02:15 and you carry firearms and all of this. 02:17 And they're saying, you know, 02:19 it's an infringement of your baptismal oath. 02:22 So you need to be removed from the books of the church. 02:25 And so we're praying for God to lead that exercise." 02:30 I was like, "Man, who cares! 02:32 So what? 02:33 Let him take my name off. 02:35 What do I care?" 02:37 My mother pleaded with me some more. 02:39 So then they met the evening, her and group of other friends 02:42 from Brooklyn Faith, Sister Sims, 02:45 Sister Garvey, I believe, 02:46 was there too, and they all prayed. 02:48 I did joined them briefly. 02:49 And then the next, maybe two days later or so, 02:52 my mom, you know, all moved from tears 02:55 and depression preliminary to this meeting. 02:58 Now she's all jubilant and excited. 02:59 And she said, "Son, son, they voted to keep your name 03:03 on the books. 03:04 As a matter of fact, 03:06 out of the entire church board voted, 03:08 only one person voted for you to be removed. 03:11 Everybody else said no unanimously." 03:14 You know what? 03:15 It seems trivial, 03:17 and even at the point of her telling me that, 03:19 I still was like, "Yeah, whatever, man! 03:21 So what?" 03:22 But it began to resonate, 03:24 you know days after, I said, "Wow. 03:27 I haven't been to that church in how long. 03:30 I only go there if I'd been injured 03:32 and I'm going to hospital or I have a court hearing 03:34 or something of that sort. 03:36 I need to, you know, to pray 03:37 so I don't get convicted over there. 03:38 You know, this is how much those people care about me. 03:43 And it did have a long lasting significant impact, 03:46 even though I didn't go back 03:47 through the doors of the church. 03:49 I never really went back to Brooklyn Faith. 03:51 I reclaim my faith in the Lord at age 26 in Miami, Florida 03:56 when I moved and then was on my own 03:58 and we're dealing with the struggles of life. 04:00 I was trying to pull my life together. 04:02 Still mixed up in drug trafficking 04:03 and these kind of things, 04:05 but God was calling me, and then finally, 04:07 I gave my heart to the Lord in Miami. 04:10 So the church did play an important role in your life. 04:13 Because the church never stopped praying. 04:15 And before I forget, 04:17 I don't want to forget to ask you. 04:18 You mentioned, I know after our last program 04:20 we had discussed, you know, just one on one, you and I, 04:24 you mentioned that you had a friend of yours as, 04:26 maybe interested in coming today 04:28 to talk a little bit more to... 04:30 In this topic. 04:31 Yes, yes, that we can share also. 04:33 He grew up in Holland, 04:34 and I think he has something significantly, 04:36 he would be able to share also. 04:37 So he's coming little later or... 04:38 Yes, he'll be joining us a little later. 04:40 Awesome, awesome. 04:41 You know, we're two rows. 04:42 We were two rows, as I said, same community, same church, 04:46 we didn't go to the same exact schools, 04:49 same culture from South Guyana, America, he also is. 04:52 But there was distinct differences in our rearing. 04:56 Now I had a grandma that was a lay minister, 04:59 church planter, strict fundamental type person, 05:02 and drop the rod seriously, she raised me to age 10 05:05 but I was always raised by women. 05:08 I met my father when I was about 15 years old. 05:11 Well, I saw him as a kid and interacted with him 05:13 as a kid from time to time 05:15 but I have no memory of being parented by him 05:19 until I was about 15, I finally met him at that time. 05:22 First thing I said to my father was, 05:24 "Look, I hope you're not coming in my life 05:26 to try to be a father 'cause I'm a man already." 05:29 My father also had a history of messing violence 05:31 with my mother that I never witnessed 05:33 but I heard enough about it. 05:35 That's when I said to my dad at 15, it was, 05:37 "Yo, you could come in, you could visit but I tell you, 05:39 if you put your hand on my mother, I will kill you." 05:42 Those are my exact words to my dad. 05:44 So my rearing was primarily by females, my grandma, 05:49 my sister and I, and other female cousin. 05:51 Then once I left South America and came to Brooklyn, 05:53 my mother, my sister and I, and another aunt. 05:56 So it was always female nurture. 05:59 I also share this to show the importance 06:02 or the significance of male involvement 06:06 in a young man's life. 06:08 So here I am in the streets, I'm about 14 or 15 years old. 06:13 I'm deep in the stuff by that age already. 06:15 There's not a day that I don't have a knife 06:17 or a gun in my pocket. 06:19 One day, I get home, 06:20 and there was a shootout in the neighborhood. 06:22 A fight and then ended up as a shootout. 06:25 I had two friends that I was closer 06:27 that I grew up like brothers living 06:28 just the next building across from me. 06:31 They were a bit more structured, 06:32 so they weren't there to see all the stuff 06:35 because their mother had specific times 06:37 that they had to be in the house 06:38 and it's all interesting. 06:39 She also was a single mother 06:41 but she was far stricter than my mom. 06:42 So I'm bringing to them the news, 06:44 and I'm in the heat of this conversation 06:46 with my main friend, telling him, 06:49 "Oh, and they yelled and they did this thing, man. 06:51 This dude pulled out a pistol, man, 06:52 he started chasing the guy." 06:54 And then I said, "Hold on, hold on, hold on. 06:55 I got to go to rest room." 06:57 So the story was so heated, you know, he was like, 07:01 "All right," which is not uncommon, 07:03 he followed me into the rest room. 07:04 So when we got into the rest room, 07:06 I'm still telling him. 07:07 I said, "Yeah, man. 07:08 Then the guy started shooting." 07:10 And I sat down on the commode. 07:11 Once I sat down, he said, "Ah, wait, man. 07:14 Yo, yo, I'll come back, you know, 07:16 you finish the story when you're done." 07:17 I said, "No, no, relax, I'm just doing number one," 07:20 you know, and continued talking. 07:22 And he said to me, "You're doing number one? 07:25 Why are you sitting down on the bowl?" 07:28 And then you know, he was about to, 07:30 maybe follow up with some demeaning comment though. 07:32 I was much crazier than he. 07:35 I was the thug, little bad guy with the pistols 07:38 and all this kind of stuff. 07:39 He knew better than to try to embarrass me. 07:41 So he cut his conversation. 07:42 He said, "You know what, 07:44 just forget it, just forget it." 07:45 And I said to him, "Man, relax, man. 07:47 I'm just doing number one." 07:48 He said, 07:50 "So why are you sitting down on the bowl?" 07:51 I looked up at him like, I don't know. 07:57 We just stared at each other. 07:58 The reason why, I had never been in the habit 08:01 of seeing a man use the rest room. 08:04 Wow, wow, wow. 08:05 Grown up all my life, just woman. 08:07 And to this day, I share it often in lectures 08:11 and in mentorship meetings to recruit, 08:14 to share the urgency and the importance of that. 08:17 That's how significant it is. Mercy. 08:19 Even today as an adult, if I have my free choice, 08:22 and I'm in my own home, that's what I do. 08:24 I don't stand up 08:26 because that's what was nurtured 08:27 into me by observation. 08:28 Oh. Mercy. 08:30 Something that seemingly trivial 08:33 can make a significant impact on the development 08:36 of the male psyche of a young man psyche 08:38 and his mind. 08:40 And there are many others, 08:41 I'm just using that one as an illustration. 08:42 So if a father is not in the home, 08:46 make sure there is a fatherly figure present 08:50 for that young man or young men to be nurtured, 08:54 a positive fatherly figure, not just anybody. 08:58 Someone positive, someone constructive, 09:01 someone that's going to help to build their self worth. 09:04 Two different roads, same environment, 09:07 and Gordon can share a little bit of what helped him 09:10 to make the choices that I didn't make. 09:12 I guess my father was there, 09:14 he was not Adventist but my mom was strict, 09:17 she was strict with her, you know, 09:19 with her church and religion. 09:21 But the difference is my father never stood in the way. 09:25 He was always there to say, "Whatever your mom says. 09:28 You go 6 o'clock in the morning, 09:30 you're going to prayer meeting, a week of prayer." 09:33 And I didn't want to go, I didn't but I had to go 09:36 because my father was there to say, "You're going." 09:39 So he was a present father but not of the same faith. 09:44 And I guess that's what our difference is, you know. 09:47 I had a father, I had that structure. 09:49 So fathers are important in the lives of their children. 09:54 And my dad worked away from home, but when he comes... 09:58 You know, he'll come home in the weekends, 10:00 but he was always there. 10:02 "What's going on, bring me... 10:03 Let's see your school work, let's see what's happening. 10:05 You read to me." 10:07 So when he was there, he was present. 10:09 It made a difference in my life. 10:11 And so I try to model the same thing for my son. 10:14 Modeling is important, mentorship is important, 10:17 being able to... 10:18 Being a strong role model, even like you said, 10:20 even it's not, if you don't have a father, 10:25 but there is a man in the church 10:27 that can be a positive role model, 10:30 it makes a huge difference. 10:32 And I believe that it will help with the violence 10:35 that's going on in those days. 10:36 Absolutely, absolutely. 10:38 I would even go further to say, 10:39 I don't want to make our single mothers feel like 10:42 they are in a hopeless predicament 10:45 because they are single mothers who have stepped up so to speak 10:49 within that role. 10:50 And by the grace of God, 10:52 have done tremendous jobs in mentoring, right? 10:54 Yes, yes. 10:55 Now if you're a single mother watching this program 10:58 and you're saying, "Well, I have no husband, 11:01 he has no uncles, 11:03 he has no cousins or whatever have you, 11:06 and I don't trust the men in the church 11:08 for whatever reason." 11:09 Then introduce him to the Man and Father, Christ Jesus. 11:13 Yes, amen. 11:14 Make sure you take time to introduce your child 11:17 to the masculine character of Christ, 11:21 as a husband, as a provider, 11:24 as a shepherd, as a comforter. 11:27 Help your child or your son to learn those traits 11:30 that Christ demonstrated to His church. 11:33 Because there was no greater man than Christ, let's face it. 11:36 None. 11:38 There was, there is no greater man than Christ 11:41 and the model of life that He demonstrated 11:44 for us while He was here. 11:45 And because that was instilled in you, 11:47 whether you want it or not, your mom instilled that in you, 11:51 it still, it was able to bring you back to that same Christ. 11:55 He was very important. Yes. 11:56 There is a lot that I seemingly did not listen to, 12:01 and I tell folk all the time, and I'm able to see them today. 12:04 Some often, a lot of folk in church that did, 12:07 at some part that are making effort to reach out to me, 12:09 they don't even remember it, you know. 12:11 And I remind them, "You said this to me at this time. 12:16 I remember when you said that. 12:18 I didn't react at that moment but later in life 12:21 as it came and it made sense, 12:23 the seed planted and it bear fruit. 12:25 And I appreciate what you have to share, 12:27 you know, and I know you have to go, 12:28 'cause I know Denry should probably be here right now. 12:30 So really appreciate you coming. 12:32 We'll see you later on. Absolutely. 12:34 Okay? It was great being here. 12:35 Great to see you again. 12:39 Denry. 12:40 How's it going? Hey, how's it going, man? 12:42 Good to see you. Good to see you, man. 12:43 Good to see you. Welcome, welcome, welcome. 12:45 Thanks for having me. 12:46 So we're just talking about, you know, 12:47 saving our young men from violence and you know, 12:49 Paul has shared some great testimony, 12:51 and Gordon had shared. 12:52 What about you? 12:54 What is your take on how do we save 12:55 our young men from violence? 12:57 How do we help them? 12:58 You know, we keep using this one word, mentoring. 13:01 The importance of... 13:02 If there's not a father at home, 13:04 or even if there is a father, 13:06 that father needs to mentor, disciple the children. 13:09 It really was the men of the church and my uncles 13:13 who saved my life, you know. 13:15 I wasn't as out there as Paul 13:18 in the sense of the violence part, 13:20 I was more in a dance hall. 13:22 You know, I loved party, I loved the girls, 13:25 I loved that life, the social life, you know. 13:27 And my uncles, you know, they were in the music, 13:29 playing the music, and I wanted to be like them. 13:32 You know, I want to be like them. 13:33 I told myself that when I'm 16 years old, 13:36 I want to start having children, 13:37 I want to have that kind of life. 13:39 But in a party life, attracts the violence. 13:43 You know, you can't separate the two. 13:45 You know, it's not realistic because you have alcohol, 13:48 you have drugs and stuff like that. 13:50 And I never forget one... 13:52 Couple of times, but one specific time, 13:54 there was this roar in a party in the Bronx, 13:57 and it was an open party in the park, 13:59 and we're having fun. 14:00 I mean, everybody is drinking, everybody is having fun. 14:03 I mean, even there are kids there and everything. 14:05 All of a sudden, shots were fired. 14:10 I was on the stage with my uncle, 14:12 and I never forget my uncle, he jumped on us, 14:16 myself, my cousin, 14:18 and my little cousin, little girl. 14:20 He jumped on top of us and saved our lives. 14:23 Wow. 14:25 And so much, there were bullet holes 14:27 on the wall behind us. 14:28 Mercy. 14:30 You see what I'm saying? 14:31 My other uncle, we were driving home from that 14:36 because everybody just got in their car, panic, and ran. 14:39 And he was like, "Denry, this life is not for you." 14:43 He was like, "I know it looks flashy. 14:45 I know it looks like gold. 14:46 I know it looks all great and everything, 14:49 but this is not you. 14:50 This life is not for you. 14:53 Stay in the church. 14:55 Be a preacher." 14:56 I mean, he was just... 14:57 I didn't even think about pastoring. 14:59 I mean, I'm like 18 that time. 15:01 I'm in that crossroad. 15:04 And he was just like, "Stay in the church." 15:07 And then... Okay. 15:08 While I'm in church now, my stepfather, 15:11 great guy, great guy, but he had his issues. 15:14 His father totally reject him. 15:16 So when he came into my life at 11, 12 years old, 15:20 he really didn't know how to deal with this dynamic. 15:24 Here's a son, a boy that's not his biological son. 15:28 So he tried a couple of things. 15:31 But he tried, he tried. 15:33 We're closer now. 15:35 But it was the men of the church, 15:36 the elders of the church who taught me 15:39 how to put a suit together. 15:41 You know, how to treat a woman. 15:43 You know, how to pray. 15:46 My stepfather taught me 15:47 how to worship every Friday night, 15:50 every Friday night. 15:52 He couldn't sing a lick. 15:53 I mean, he can't sing to save his life. 15:56 But every Friday, as soon as the sun goes down, 15:58 he will stop everything he's doing, 16:00 even if the house is half clean, 16:01 and he'll get his Bible and his hymnal, 16:04 and sits in the living room, 16:05 and starts singing to open the Sabbath. 16:08 And if I'm coming out late, he's like, "Where were you? 16:11 Sabbath, you know Sabbath sunset." 16:13 That was a biblical principle at the home. 16:17 It was the spirituality, the prayer life. 16:19 And so the men of the church, and my uncles, you know, 16:22 pushing me out of that dance hall 16:24 scene is really what saved my life, 16:27 and I have to thank God for God using men, 16:32 men to drag me out of darkness 16:36 into the marvelous light of Jesus Christ. 16:38 So that's spiritual, the spiritual life in the home 16:40 is an important component. 16:41 Oh, yes. 16:43 Fathers being spiritual, 16:44 it's an important component to saving our young men 16:48 from violence of the street. 16:50 I do believe again that family worship 16:53 is an important part as far as we need to cover our children. 16:58 I love the way Ellen White puts it that, you know, 17:00 I think I shared this already, 17:02 is that the role of the priest in the home 17:06 is, every morning, you get on your knees, 17:10 and you pray, and you intercede for your children, 17:14 for a known as well as their unknown sins, 17:16 cover them with prayer. 17:18 Because when you cover them with prayer, 17:20 that's where you find the power, 17:23 that's where they find the power to overcome 17:25 some of the temptations, 17:26 overcome the vicissitudes of this life. 17:29 So the role, I think men, 17:31 we are to step up and be praying me, 17:34 covering our children, 17:35 don't let them go a day without prayer, 17:37 as well as the mothers. 17:39 So that spiritual life is an important component 17:41 in saving our young men. 17:43 You know, part of it too is, as men, we men, 17:46 if that's proper English, 17:47 need to allow Christ to transform us. 17:49 Yes. Yeah, yes. 17:51 And accept forgiveness. 17:52 You know, we look at Him as a hero in the Bible, 17:55 one of the greatest Bible heroes, David, 17:58 but he was a terrible father. 18:00 Because David held on to that guilt and therefore, 18:05 in stuff where he could have stopped his sons, 18:08 you know, one brother raped the sister, 18:12 the other brother wanted vengeance. 18:13 Well, he could have stood in there and say, 18:15 "Look, I know it's wrong but this is how we do it." 18:18 Or rather, what happened? 18:20 A year later, the brother kills the brother, 18:22 and then the whole mess happens with all of his children. 18:27 So as fathers, even though, we all have our past, 18:31 we all have our past. 18:33 But we have to let God use that past 18:36 as our testimony to our children 18:38 to keep pointing people to Jesus. 18:41 I came to the grip that I can't find out, 18:43 because even those men of the church, 18:44 they were not perfect. 18:45 My uncles are not perfect, 18:47 they're still in that social life. 18:49 They have some wisdom, but they're not perfect. 18:51 So I had to learn as a young man in my 20s, 18:54 my father is in heaven. 18:58 My example of a father is the guy in heaven. 19:03 And so I patterned my life now as a father who have children 19:08 after my father in heaven. 19:12 And I struggle with that still. 19:13 Even though I'm a chaplain, I still struggle 19:17 with the knowledge of the responsibility, 19:21 the spirituality behind fatherhood, 19:23 of being the spiritual leader of my home. 19:26 You know, I've read Spirit of Prophecy, 19:27 I read, you know, studied the Bible. 19:30 I've googled different things, you know, 19:32 whatever you want to call it, I've done it. 19:34 But what does that look like 19:37 so you don't feel like you're failing, 19:40 spiritually failing your family? 19:42 As a father, what do I do to... 19:45 Well, to know that I'm doing okay? 19:46 I think you model... 19:48 You have to model the life and be real. 19:51 A lot of times, we're fake, you know, 19:54 try to show our children one side, and you know, 19:58 try to be something else. 19:59 We need to be real with our children. 20:01 Yes, we're going to make mistakes. 20:03 But I remember my son saying to me, 20:07 "The one thing that I know is of a certain time 20:09 I find my dad praying. 20:11 I go in office, and my dad is on his knees, 20:15 and he's there for hours." 20:17 My son, I've watched him now, 20:20 he's actually modeling the same thing. 20:23 Well, "Justin, where are you?" 20:26 "I'm in worship." 20:29 He's been in worship for over an hour. 20:31 This is my 19-year-old, now 20. 20:34 And all I did was model. 20:37 And I wasn't doing it for him, I'm doing this for me, 20:41 this is for my spiritual development 20:43 because I'm covering my family. 20:44 I'm covering my children. 20:46 But just that model... 20:47 And what we have done in our home, 20:51 we have allowed them to express themselves in family worship. 20:56 In other words, we've taught them, "Listen, 20:58 you have to develop a personal relationship with Jesus. 21:01 You have to get to know Jesus yourself." 21:04 So in the mornings, we're not concerned 21:07 about pulling the family together. 21:08 What we're concerned about 21:10 is them having their own personal relationship, 21:13 because we're going to be out of picture. 21:14 If they don't know Christ for themselves, 21:16 if they don't have that relationship 21:18 for themselves, 21:19 then I believe it's not going to be the best. 21:22 So model it, teach them to have that relationship, 21:28 and just be real, got to be real. 21:31 So what I'm listening to you saying is, 21:33 it's truly not that difficult per se 21:36 as maybe the church society might say it 21:39 because, you know, my five-year-old, 21:42 we get in the car, automatically, 21:43 "Dad, we can't leave, we got to pray." 21:46 Or if we do something, even the one-year-old, 21:49 when we put a food in front of her, 21:51 she'll put her hands together, and she'll mumble something 21:53 'cause can't understand it 21:55 but you hear the amen loud and clear. 21:57 And you know, I think sometimes, as fathers, 22:00 especially as pastors, or whatever you want to call, 22:05 as fathers, I think sometimes we overcomplicate spirituality. 22:09 Yeah. 22:10 We make it like this huge beast that we cannot understand it, 22:13 like we have to take like the Old Testament, 22:17 we had to take this lamb and go slaughter it. 22:20 It seems like... 22:21 I know I've done it. 22:22 It seems like overcomplicating the spirituality 22:24 when in fact it's modeling. 22:27 Not perfection, but modeling imperfection 22:31 through the perfection of Christ. 22:32 Amen. 22:33 Because that's what Jesus did. Yes. 22:35 Jesus, what Jesus did is He modeled. 22:36 He modeled, yeah. 22:38 And that's all we need to do is just to model. 22:41 I'm going to stress it again, be real. 22:45 Be real, be authentic. Yeah. 22:47 You know, as a pastor, 22:50 you don't realize that you have two churches 22:55 here in your congregation. 22:57 The one that sees you on Sabbath, 22:59 and in prayer meeting or whatever, Bible studies, 23:02 whatever, but there is a church that sees you every day, 23:06 and that's your family. 23:07 That's my family. 23:09 It blew me away, my son, 23:11 recently my son at Children's day, 23:13 they ask my son to preach, one of the oldest. 23:16 And the other one said, he's going to sing, 23:18 do the appeal song, right? 23:20 So I'm helping him prepare, helping him prepare, 23:23 I got his notes together and everything. 23:25 That Sabbath, he's supposed to preach. 23:27 I go to him, I was like, "Where's your notes?" 23:29 He said, "Don't worry." 23:30 He said, "I'm not going to use the notes." 23:32 Where he got that from? 23:34 I don't preach with notes. 23:36 So he want to preach, he saw me preach without notes, 23:40 and he did a fantastic job. 23:42 And then the younger brother came and sang 23:44 and did the appeal, and all these children 23:46 and teenagers came off for the appeal. 23:48 I mean, you want to see that. 23:51 You don't want to hear that your son is in a casket 23:54 or going off to prison or anything. 23:55 You want to hear that your son has given his life to God, 23:59 even your daughter. 24:01 And then my little daughter, she's four years old, 24:02 she did the welcome. 24:04 She wasn't shy, she wasn't timid. 24:05 "Good morning, church." 24:07 And she was just so, you know... 24:08 Because they see that I'm not afraid. 24:10 So people are like, 24:11 "Why is your children don't afraid 24:13 to go up to the pulpit. 24:14 They're not afraid to pray, 24:15 they're not afraid to do these things." 24:17 Because they see my wife 24:20 and myself modeled these things. 24:22 So they follow our examples. 24:24 Even one morning, my son was... 24:26 The night before, my son was like, 24:28 "How come we don't have family worship 24:31 in the mornings no more? 24:32 We have worship at night, 24:33 but we used to have family worship 24:35 in the mornings." 24:36 And my wife and I looked at each other and like, "Wow!" 24:39 He's eight years old, and he wants to have worship. 24:43 You know, you brought up a good point is the fact that, 24:46 in order to keep and save our young men from violence 24:49 including our church, we have to show them 24:52 the imperfect relationship 24:55 through the perfect relationship with Christ, 24:57 meaning that you know, 24:58 we're not going to be perfect fathers 25:01 but we got to show them that there's a perfect God 25:03 that can save them from themselves. 25:05 And I don't know, that's just something 25:07 that I picked up from what you were saying. 25:08 What do you think, Gordon? 25:09 I think it's true showing them 25:12 how imperfect we are being able to let them have... 25:17 talk to them about different stories about your life 25:20 day-by-day, you know, they don't think their dad is, 25:23 you know, so perfect, you know, whatever. 25:26 For me, my son, you know, 25:28 he sees and he knows the relationship 25:31 that his father have with God. 25:33 He sees my prayer time, 25:34 he knows that I'm there praying. 25:36 And now, in his devotional life, 25:39 he's actually picking up the same things. 25:41 He spends hours in devotional prayer. 25:44 And so the modeling is important, 25:47 just being there and being real, 25:49 you know, authentic. 25:50 So you're not showing one face at church 25:52 and your one face at home. 25:54 Yeah, just be real for your children. 25:55 I think it's the best in it, any parent can do. 25:57 Yeah. 25:59 And what are you passionate about? 26:00 What are you passionate about? 26:02 If you're passionate about God, 26:04 it's a higher chance for your children 26:05 to be passionate about God too. 26:07 If you're passionate about money, 26:08 whether you are working an honest job and working hard, 26:11 and they see you working hard, then they're going to think 26:13 about the easier way which can lead to violence. 26:15 So what are you passionate about? 26:17 And then, you have to know your children 26:19 'cause my daughter is totally different from my son. 26:22 And she needs a little more work, 26:25 little more encouragement. 26:26 So we have to encourage her, we have to be there for her. 26:29 And my son, you know, he's pretty much there, 26:33 but she needs encouragement. 26:35 Different styles, different methods 26:37 for the different children. 26:39 It's not one size fit all, 26:41 but I think modeling to her, 26:44 she more will grab the mother, her mom side of the modeling, 26:48 but that Christian modeling is very important. 26:51 It goes a long way. Yeah, I appreciate that. 26:52 I appreciate that 'cause just can keep going on, man. 26:55 We have a lot to talk about 26:57 and I just appreciate everything you shared. 26:59 And for the viewing audience, again, 27:03 fatherhood is not meant to be perfect. 27:06 You know, the reason we do this program, 27:09 the reason we sit down and discuss so openly 27:11 is because we want to show you that as ministers, 27:13 we're just as messed up as you are, 27:16 we're just as imperfect. 27:19 You know, we may be on camera, 27:23 but we can't hide who we are. 27:26 At the same time, we can't hide who God has made us to be. 27:28 Amen. 27:30 We're all broken, we're all... 27:32 You know, we can all fell under category of bad fathers. 27:35 But God knows we're good fathers, 27:38 we're just imperfect, 27:39 we need a little tweaking, a little help. 27:41 And in order to keep our young men, young ladies, 27:44 our kids from violence, 27:46 we have to do the very best we can to hang on to Christ. 27:52 It may seem redundant at times, 27:54 it may seem weird but you know what? 27:56 It saves lives because Christ saves lives. 27:59 Do yourself a favor. 28:00 Be a father. Thank you for watching. |
Revised 2018-11-05