Series Code: AFH
Program Code: AFH000022A
00:01 A good father takes time to play.
00:05 He has strong integrity.
00:08 He is someone that is truly dedicated.
00:12 He's not afraid to show his love.
00:15 He is a caring provider,
00:18 and he is a kind spiritual leader.
00:23 These are just a few ways to describe a father's heart.
00:31 Hi, welcome to A Father's Heart.
00:32 I'm your host Xavier.
00:34 And today, we're going to be discussing
00:35 saving our young men from violence
00:37 but this is part two.
00:38 As we have discussed before, there's been an issue,
00:41 an epidemic over young men killing each other.
00:44 And with me to discuss this once more
00:46 are my friends Gordon and Paul.
00:47 How are you guys doing today?
00:49 Welcome back. Doing great.
00:50 Hey, brother. Blessed to be here, man.
00:51 So last time, we left off.
00:53 We were discussing the different things
00:55 that were happening to our young men
00:56 in the community and, Paul, you shared a powerful testimony
00:59 of how God brought you out of that environment
01:02 of gangs and killing.
01:05 And luckily, you know, you're here today
01:07 because of God's grace.
01:08 Yes, indeed, indeed.
01:10 I want to continue on a point of prayer,
01:12 prayer in the church, prayer in the home.
01:14 The spirituality of our home environment,
01:17 spirituality of the church environment, both matters,
01:20 both play a significant role in helping our children
01:24 to remain cohesively bonded to this movement.
01:28 I want to share quickly a short testimony.
01:29 At some point, maybe I was about 17 or so,
01:32 I'd already been arrested a few times, I've been stabbed,
01:36 I've been in a shooting incident.
01:38 I was quite distant from anywhere close
01:41 to desiring to be a prodigy.
01:43 Mom called me up one morning, and she's like,
01:44 "Son, I have something sad to tell you.
01:48 And I wonder if you can join us this afternoon
01:49 for prayer meeting,
01:50 group of friends coming over to the house
01:52 and we're going to pray for you."
01:55 For what? What? No, man.
01:56 Oh, pray this, pray that, pray this."
01:58 "No, no, no, son.
01:59 I'm serious.
02:00 The board is meeting to decide
02:03 whether or not to write you out of the church
02:06 because they have learned that, you know,
02:08 you haven't been there in over six, seven years,
02:10 and people are aware you're in the street
02:12 and you're dealing with drugs and this kind of stuff
02:15 and you carry firearms and all of this.
02:17 And they're saying, you know,
02:19 it's an infringement of your baptismal oath.
02:22 So you need to be removed from the books of the church.
02:25 And so we're praying for God to lead that exercise."
02:30 I was like, "Man, who cares!
02:32 So what?
02:33 Let him take my name off.
02:35 What do I care?"
02:37 My mother pleaded with me some more.
02:39 So then they met the evening, her and group of other friends
02:42 from Brooklyn Faith, Sister Sims,
02:45 Sister Garvey, I believe,
02:46 was there too, and they all prayed.
02:48 I did joined them briefly.
02:49 And then the next, maybe two days later or so,
02:52 my mom, you know, all moved from tears
02:55 and depression preliminary to this meeting.
02:58 Now she's all jubilant and excited.
02:59 And she said, "Son, son, they voted to keep your name
03:03 on the books.
03:04 As a matter of fact,
03:06 out of the entire church board voted,
03:08 only one person voted for you to be removed.
03:11 Everybody else said no unanimously."
03:14 You know what?
03:15 It seems trivial,
03:17 and even at the point of her telling me that,
03:19 I still was like, "Yeah, whatever, man!
03:21 So what?"
03:22 But it began to resonate,
03:24 you know days after, I said, "Wow.
03:27 I haven't been to that church in how long.
03:30 I only go there if I'd been injured
03:32 and I'm going to hospital or I have a court hearing
03:34 or something of that sort.
03:36 I need to, you know, to pray
03:37 so I don't get convicted over there.
03:38 You know, this is how much those people care about me.
03:43 And it did have a long lasting significant impact,
03:46 even though I didn't go back
03:47 through the doors of the church.
03:49 I never really went back to Brooklyn Faith.
03:51 I reclaim my faith in the Lord at age 26 in Miami, Florida
03:56 when I moved and then was on my own
03:58 and we're dealing with the struggles of life.
04:00 I was trying to pull my life together.
04:02 Still mixed up in drug trafficking
04:03 and these kind of things,
04:05 but God was calling me, and then finally,
04:07 I gave my heart to the Lord in Miami.
04:10 So the church did play an important role in your life.
04:13 Because the church never stopped praying.
04:15 And before I forget,
04:17 I don't want to forget to ask you.
04:18 You mentioned, I know after our last program
04:20 we had discussed, you know, just one on one, you and I,
04:24 you mentioned that you had a friend of yours as,
04:26 maybe interested in coming today
04:28 to talk a little bit more to...
04:30 In this topic.
04:31 Yes, yes, that we can share also.
04:33 He grew up in Holland,
04:34 and I think he has something significantly,
04:36 he would be able to share also.
04:37 So he's coming little later or...
04:38 Yes, he'll be joining us a little later.
04:40 Awesome, awesome.
04:41 You know, we're two rows.
04:42 We were two rows, as I said, same community, same church,
04:46 we didn't go to the same exact schools,
04:49 same culture from South Guyana, America, he also is.
04:52 But there was distinct differences in our rearing.
04:56 Now I had a grandma that was a lay minister,
04:59 church planter, strict fundamental type person,
05:02 and drop the rod seriously, she raised me to age 10
05:05 but I was always raised by women.
05:08 I met my father when I was about 15 years old.
05:11 Well, I saw him as a kid and interacted with him
05:13 as a kid from time to time
05:15 but I have no memory of being parented by him
05:19 until I was about 15, I finally met him at that time.
05:22 First thing I said to my father was,
05:24 "Look, I hope you're not coming in my life
05:26 to try to be a father 'cause I'm a man already."
05:29 My father also had a history of messing violence
05:31 with my mother that I never witnessed
05:33 but I heard enough about it.
05:35 That's when I said to my dad at 15, it was,
05:37 "Yo, you could come in, you could visit but I tell you,
05:39 if you put your hand on my mother, I will kill you."
05:42 Those are my exact words to my dad.
05:44 So my rearing was primarily by females, my grandma,
05:49 my sister and I, and other female cousin.
05:51 Then once I left South America and came to Brooklyn,
05:53 my mother, my sister and I, and another aunt.
05:56 So it was always female nurture.
05:59 I also share this to show the importance
06:02 or the significance of male involvement
06:06 in a young man's life.
06:08 So here I am in the streets, I'm about 14 or 15 years old.
06:13 I'm deep in the stuff by that age already.
06:15 There's not a day that I don't have a knife
06:17 or a gun in my pocket.
06:19 One day, I get home,
06:20 and there was a shootout in the neighborhood.
06:22 A fight and then ended up as a shootout.
06:25 I had two friends that I was closer
06:27 that I grew up like brothers living
06:28 just the next building across from me.
06:31 They were a bit more structured,
06:32 so they weren't there to see all the stuff
06:35 because their mother had specific times
06:37 that they had to be in the house
06:38 and it's all interesting.
06:39 She also was a single mother
06:41 but she was far stricter than my mom.
06:42 So I'm bringing to them the news,
06:44 and I'm in the heat of this conversation
06:46 with my main friend, telling him,
06:49 "Oh, and they yelled and they did this thing, man.
06:51 This dude pulled out a pistol, man,
06:52 he started chasing the guy."
06:54 And then I said, "Hold on, hold on, hold on.
06:55 I got to go to rest room."
06:57 So the story was so heated, you know, he was like,
07:01 "All right," which is not uncommon,
07:03 he followed me into the rest room.
07:04 So when we got into the rest room,
07:06 I'm still telling him.
07:07 I said, "Yeah, man.
07:08 Then the guy started shooting."
07:10 And I sat down on the commode.
07:11 Once I sat down, he said, "Ah, wait, man.
07:14 Yo, yo, I'll come back, you know,
07:16 you finish the story when you're done."
07:17 I said, "No, no, relax, I'm just doing number one,"
07:20 you know, and continued talking.
07:22 And he said to me, "You're doing number one?
07:25 Why are you sitting down on the bowl?"
07:28 And then you know, he was about to,
07:30 maybe follow up with some demeaning comment though.
07:32 I was much crazier than he.
07:35 I was the thug, little bad guy with the pistols
07:38 and all this kind of stuff.
07:39 He knew better than to try to embarrass me.
07:41 So he cut his conversation.
07:42 He said, "You know what,
07:44 just forget it, just forget it."
07:45 And I said to him, "Man, relax, man.
07:47 I'm just doing number one."
07:48 He said,
07:50 "So why are you sitting down on the bowl?"
07:51 I looked up at him like, I don't know.
07:57 We just stared at each other.
07:58 The reason why, I had never been in the habit
08:01 of seeing a man use the rest room.
08:04 Wow, wow, wow.
08:05 Grown up all my life, just woman.
08:07 And to this day, I share it often in lectures
08:11 and in mentorship meetings to recruit,
08:14 to share the urgency and the importance of that.
08:17 That's how significant it is. Mercy.
08:19 Even today as an adult, if I have my free choice,
08:22 and I'm in my own home, that's what I do.
08:24 I don't stand up
08:26 because that's what was nurtured
08:27 into me by observation.
08:28 Oh. Mercy.
08:30 Something that seemingly trivial
08:33 can make a significant impact on the development
08:36 of the male psyche of a young man psyche
08:38 and his mind.
08:40 And there are many others,
08:41 I'm just using that one as an illustration.
08:42 So if a father is not in the home,
08:46 make sure there is a fatherly figure present
08:50 for that young man or young men to be nurtured,
08:54 a positive fatherly figure, not just anybody.
08:58 Someone positive, someone constructive,
09:01 someone that's going to help to build their self worth.
09:04 Two different roads, same environment,
09:07 and Gordon can share a little bit of what helped him
09:10 to make the choices that I didn't make.
09:12 I guess my father was there,
09:14 he was not Adventist but my mom was strict,
09:17 she was strict with her, you know,
09:19 with her church and religion.
09:21 But the difference is my father never stood in the way.
09:25 He was always there to say, "Whatever your mom says.
09:28 You go 6 o'clock in the morning,
09:30 you're going to prayer meeting, a week of prayer."
09:33 And I didn't want to go, I didn't but I had to go
09:36 because my father was there to say, "You're going."
09:39 So he was a present father but not of the same faith.
09:44 And I guess that's what our difference is, you know.
09:47 I had a father, I had that structure.
09:49 So fathers are important in the lives of their children.
09:54 And my dad worked away from home, but when he comes...
09:58 You know, he'll come home in the weekends,
10:00 but he was always there.
10:02 "What's going on, bring me...
10:03 Let's see your school work, let's see what's happening.
10:05 You read to me."
10:07 So when he was there, he was present.
10:09 It made a difference in my life.
10:11 And so I try to model the same thing for my son.
10:14 Modeling is important, mentorship is important,
10:17 being able to...
10:18 Being a strong role model, even like you said,
10:20 even it's not, if you don't have a father,
10:25 but there is a man in the church
10:27 that can be a positive role model,
10:30 it makes a huge difference.
10:32 And I believe that it will help with the violence
10:35 that's going on in those days.
10:36 Absolutely, absolutely.
10:38 I would even go further to say,
10:39 I don't want to make our single mothers feel like
10:42 they are in a hopeless predicament
10:45 because they are single mothers who have stepped up so to speak
10:49 within that role.
10:50 And by the grace of God,
10:52 have done tremendous jobs in mentoring, right?
10:54 Yes, yes.
10:55 Now if you're a single mother watching this program
10:58 and you're saying, "Well, I have no husband,
11:01 he has no uncles,
11:03 he has no cousins or whatever have you,
11:06 and I don't trust the men in the church
11:08 for whatever reason."
11:09 Then introduce him to the Man and Father, Christ Jesus.
11:13 Yes, amen.
11:14 Make sure you take time to introduce your child
11:17 to the masculine character of Christ,
11:21 as a husband, as a provider,
11:24 as a shepherd, as a comforter.
11:27 Help your child or your son to learn those traits
11:30 that Christ demonstrated to His church.
11:33 Because there was no greater man than Christ, let's face it.
11:38 There was, there is no greater man than Christ
11:41 and the model of life that He demonstrated
11:44 for us while He was here.
11:45 And because that was instilled in you,
11:47 whether you want it or not, your mom instilled that in you,
11:51 it still, it was able to bring you back to that same Christ.
11:55 He was very important. Yes.
11:56 There is a lot that I seemingly did not listen to,
12:01 and I tell folk all the time, and I'm able to see them today.
12:04 Some often, a lot of folk in church that did,
12:07 at some part that are making effort to reach out to me,
12:09 they don't even remember it, you know.
12:11 And I remind them, "You said this to me at this time.
12:16 I remember when you said that.
12:18 I didn't react at that moment but later in life
12:21 as it came and it made sense,
12:23 the seed planted and it bear fruit.
12:25 And I appreciate what you have to share,
12:27 you know, and I know you have to go,
12:28 'cause I know Denry should probably be here right now.
12:30 So really appreciate you coming.
12:32 We'll see you later on. Absolutely.
12:34 Okay? It was great being here.
12:35 Great to see you again.
12:40 How's it going? Hey, how's it going, man?
12:42 Good to see you. Good to see you, man.
12:43 Good to see you. Welcome, welcome, welcome.
12:45 Thanks for having me.
12:46 So we're just talking about, you know,
12:47 saving our young men from violence and you know,
12:49 Paul has shared some great testimony,
12:51 and Gordon had shared.
12:52 What about you?
12:54 What is your take on how do we save
12:55 our young men from violence?
12:57 How do we help them?
12:58 You know, we keep using this one word, mentoring.
13:01 The importance of...
13:02 If there's not a father at home,
13:04 or even if there is a father,
13:06 that father needs to mentor, disciple the children.
13:09 It really was the men of the church and my uncles
13:13 who saved my life, you know.
13:15 I wasn't as out there as Paul
13:18 in the sense of the violence part,
13:20 I was more in a dance hall.
13:22 You know, I loved party, I loved the girls,
13:25 I loved that life, the social life, you know.
13:27 And my uncles, you know, they were in the music,
13:29 playing the music, and I wanted to be like them.
13:32 You know, I want to be like them.
13:33 I told myself that when I'm 16 years old,
13:36 I want to start having children,
13:37 I want to have that kind of life.
13:39 But in a party life, attracts the violence.
13:43 You know, you can't separate the two.
13:45 You know, it's not realistic because you have alcohol,
13:48 you have drugs and stuff like that.
13:50 And I never forget one...
13:52 Couple of times, but one specific time,
13:54 there was this roar in a party in the Bronx,
13:57 and it was an open party in the park,
13:59 and we're having fun.
14:00 I mean, everybody is drinking, everybody is having fun.
14:03 I mean, even there are kids there and everything.
14:05 All of a sudden, shots were fired.
14:10 I was on the stage with my uncle,
14:12 and I never forget my uncle, he jumped on us,
14:16 myself, my cousin,
14:18 and my little cousin, little girl.
14:20 He jumped on top of us and saved our lives.
14:25 And so much, there were bullet holes
14:27 on the wall behind us.
14:30 You see what I'm saying?
14:31 My other uncle, we were driving home from that
14:36 because everybody just got in their car, panic, and ran.
14:39 And he was like, "Denry, this life is not for you."
14:43 He was like, "I know it looks flashy.
14:45 I know it looks like gold.
14:46 I know it looks all great and everything,
14:49 but this is not you.
14:50 This life is not for you.
14:53 Stay in the church.
14:55 Be a preacher."
14:56 I mean, he was just...
14:57 I didn't even think about pastoring.
14:59 I mean, I'm like 18 that time.
15:01 I'm in that crossroad.
15:04 And he was just like, "Stay in the church."
15:07 And then... Okay.
15:08 While I'm in church now, my stepfather,
15:11 great guy, great guy, but he had his issues.
15:14 His father totally reject him.
15:16 So when he came into my life at 11, 12 years old,
15:20 he really didn't know how to deal with this dynamic.
15:24 Here's a son, a boy that's not his biological son.
15:28 So he tried a couple of things.
15:31 But he tried, he tried.
15:33 We're closer now.
15:35 But it was the men of the church,
15:36 the elders of the church who taught me
15:39 how to put a suit together.
15:41 You know, how to treat a woman.
15:43 You know, how to pray.
15:46 My stepfather taught me
15:47 how to worship every Friday night,
15:50 every Friday night.
15:52 He couldn't sing a lick.
15:53 I mean, he can't sing to save his life.
15:56 But every Friday, as soon as the sun goes down,
15:58 he will stop everything he's doing,
16:00 even if the house is half clean,
16:01 and he'll get his Bible and his hymnal,
16:04 and sits in the living room,
16:05 and starts singing to open the Sabbath.
16:08 And if I'm coming out late, he's like, "Where were you?
16:11 Sabbath, you know Sabbath sunset."
16:13 That was a biblical principle at the home.
16:17 It was the spirituality, the prayer life.
16:19 And so the men of the church, and my uncles, you know,
16:22 pushing me out of that dance hall
16:24 scene is really what saved my life,
16:27 and I have to thank God for God using men,
16:32 men to drag me out of darkness
16:36 into the marvelous light of Jesus Christ.
16:38 So that's spiritual, the spiritual life in the home
16:40 is an important component.
16:41 Oh, yes.
16:43 Fathers being spiritual,
16:44 it's an important component to saving our young men
16:48 from violence of the street.
16:50 I do believe again that family worship
16:53 is an important part as far as we need to cover our children.
16:58 I love the way Ellen White puts it that, you know,
17:00 I think I shared this already,
17:02 is that the role of the priest in the home
17:06 is, every morning, you get on your knees,
17:10 and you pray, and you intercede for your children,
17:14 for a known as well as their unknown sins,
17:16 cover them with prayer.
17:18 Because when you cover them with prayer,
17:20 that's where you find the power,
17:23 that's where they find the power to overcome
17:25 some of the temptations,
17:26 overcome the vicissitudes of this life.
17:29 So the role, I think men,
17:31 we are to step up and be praying me,
17:34 covering our children,
17:35 don't let them go a day without prayer,
17:37 as well as the mothers.
17:39 So that spiritual life is an important component
17:41 in saving our young men.
17:43 You know, part of it too is, as men, we men,
17:46 if that's proper English,
17:47 need to allow Christ to transform us.
17:49 Yes. Yeah, yes.
17:51 And accept forgiveness.
17:52 You know, we look at Him as a hero in the Bible,
17:55 one of the greatest Bible heroes, David,
17:58 but he was a terrible father.
18:00 Because David held on to that guilt and therefore,
18:05 in stuff where he could have stopped his sons,
18:08 you know, one brother raped the sister,
18:12 the other brother wanted vengeance.
18:13 Well, he could have stood in there and say,
18:15 "Look, I know it's wrong but this is how we do it."
18:18 Or rather, what happened?
18:20 A year later, the brother kills the brother,
18:22 and then the whole mess happens with all of his children.
18:27 So as fathers, even though, we all have our past,
18:31 we all have our past.
18:33 But we have to let God use that past
18:36 as our testimony to our children
18:38 to keep pointing people to Jesus.
18:41 I came to the grip that I can't find out,
18:43 because even those men of the church,
18:44 they were not perfect.
18:45 My uncles are not perfect,
18:47 they're still in that social life.
18:49 They have some wisdom, but they're not perfect.
18:51 So I had to learn as a young man in my 20s,
18:54 my father is in heaven.
18:58 My example of a father is the guy in heaven.
19:03 And so I patterned my life now as a father who have children
19:08 after my father in heaven.
19:12 And I struggle with that still.
19:13 Even though I'm a chaplain, I still struggle
19:17 with the knowledge of the responsibility,
19:21 the spirituality behind fatherhood,
19:23 of being the spiritual leader of my home.
19:26 You know, I've read Spirit of Prophecy,
19:27 I read, you know, studied the Bible.
19:30 I've googled different things, you know,
19:32 whatever you want to call it, I've done it.
19:34 But what does that look like
19:37 so you don't feel like you're failing,
19:40 spiritually failing your family?
19:42 As a father, what do I do to...
19:45 Well, to know that I'm doing okay?
19:46 I think you model...
19:48 You have to model the life and be real.
19:51 A lot of times, we're fake, you know,
19:54 try to show our children one side, and you know,
19:58 try to be something else.
19:59 We need to be real with our children.
20:01 Yes, we're going to make mistakes.
20:03 But I remember my son saying to me,
20:07 "The one thing that I know is of a certain time
20:09 I find my dad praying.
20:11 I go in office, and my dad is on his knees,
20:15 and he's there for hours."
20:17 My son, I've watched him now,
20:20 he's actually modeling the same thing.
20:23 Well, "Justin, where are you?"
20:26 "I'm in worship."
20:29 He's been in worship for over an hour.
20:31 This is my 19-year-old, now 20.
20:34 And all I did was model.
20:37 And I wasn't doing it for him, I'm doing this for me,
20:41 this is for my spiritual development
20:43 because I'm covering my family.
20:44 I'm covering my children.
20:46 But just that model...
20:47 And what we have done in our home,
20:51 we have allowed them to express themselves in family worship.
20:56 In other words, we've taught them, "Listen,
20:58 you have to develop a personal relationship with Jesus.
21:01 You have to get to know Jesus yourself."
21:04 So in the mornings, we're not concerned
21:07 about pulling the family together.
21:08 What we're concerned about
21:10 is them having their own personal relationship,
21:13 because we're going to be out of picture.
21:14 If they don't know Christ for themselves,
21:16 if they don't have that relationship
21:18 for themselves,
21:19 then I believe it's not going to be the best.
21:22 So model it, teach them to have that relationship,
21:28 and just be real, got to be real.
21:31 So what I'm listening to you saying is,
21:33 it's truly not that difficult per se
21:36 as maybe the church society might say it
21:39 because, you know, my five-year-old,
21:42 we get in the car, automatically,
21:43 "Dad, we can't leave, we got to pray."
21:46 Or if we do something, even the one-year-old,
21:49 when we put a food in front of her,
21:51 she'll put her hands together, and she'll mumble something
21:53 'cause can't understand it
21:55 but you hear the amen loud and clear.
21:57 And you know, I think sometimes, as fathers,
22:00 especially as pastors, or whatever you want to call,
22:05 as fathers, I think sometimes we overcomplicate spirituality.
22:10 We make it like this huge beast that we cannot understand it,
22:13 like we have to take like the Old Testament,
22:17 we had to take this lamb and go slaughter it.
22:20 It seems like...
22:21 I know I've done it.
22:22 It seems like overcomplicating the spirituality
22:24 when in fact it's modeling.
22:27 Not perfection, but modeling imperfection
22:31 through the perfection of Christ.
22:33 Because that's what Jesus did. Yes.
22:35 Jesus, what Jesus did is He modeled.
22:36 He modeled, yeah.
22:38 And that's all we need to do is just to model.
22:41 I'm going to stress it again, be real.
22:45 Be real, be authentic. Yeah.
22:47 You know, as a pastor,
22:50 you don't realize that you have two churches
22:55 here in your congregation.
22:57 The one that sees you on Sabbath,
22:59 and in prayer meeting or whatever, Bible studies,
23:02 whatever, but there is a church that sees you every day,
23:06 and that's your family.
23:07 That's my family.
23:09 It blew me away, my son,
23:11 recently my son at Children's day,
23:13 they ask my son to preach, one of the oldest.
23:16 And the other one said, he's going to sing,
23:18 do the appeal song, right?
23:20 So I'm helping him prepare, helping him prepare,
23:23 I got his notes together and everything.
23:25 That Sabbath, he's supposed to preach.
23:27 I go to him, I was like, "Where's your notes?"
23:29 He said, "Don't worry."
23:30 He said, "I'm not going to use the notes."
23:32 Where he got that from?
23:34 I don't preach with notes.
23:36 So he want to preach, he saw me preach without notes,
23:40 and he did a fantastic job.
23:42 And then the younger brother came and sang
23:44 and did the appeal, and all these children
23:46 and teenagers came off for the appeal.
23:48 I mean, you want to see that.
23:51 You don't want to hear that your son is in a casket
23:54 or going off to prison or anything.
23:55 You want to hear that your son has given his life to God,
23:59 even your daughter.
24:01 And then my little daughter, she's four years old,
24:02 she did the welcome.
24:04 She wasn't shy, she wasn't timid.
24:05 "Good morning, church."
24:07 And she was just so, you know...
24:08 Because they see that I'm not afraid.
24:10 So people are like,
24:11 "Why is your children don't afraid
24:13 to go up to the pulpit.
24:14 They're not afraid to pray,
24:15 they're not afraid to do these things."
24:17 Because they see my wife
24:20 and myself modeled these things.
24:22 So they follow our examples.
24:24 Even one morning, my son was...
24:26 The night before, my son was like,
24:28 "How come we don't have family worship
24:31 in the mornings no more?
24:32 We have worship at night,
24:33 but we used to have family worship
24:35 in the mornings."
24:36 And my wife and I looked at each other and like, "Wow!"
24:39 He's eight years old, and he wants to have worship.
24:43 You know, you brought up a good point is the fact that,
24:46 in order to keep and save our young men from violence
24:49 including our church, we have to show them
24:52 the imperfect relationship
24:55 through the perfect relationship with Christ,
24:57 meaning that you know,
24:58 we're not going to be perfect fathers
25:01 but we got to show them that there's a perfect God
25:03 that can save them from themselves.
25:05 And I don't know, that's just something
25:07 that I picked up from what you were saying.
25:08 What do you think, Gordon?
25:09 I think it's true showing them
25:12 how imperfect we are being able to let them have...
25:17 talk to them about different stories about your life
25:20 day-by-day, you know, they don't think their dad is,
25:23 you know, so perfect, you know, whatever.
25:26 For me, my son, you know,
25:28 he sees and he knows the relationship
25:31 that his father have with God.
25:33 He sees my prayer time,
25:34 he knows that I'm there praying.
25:36 And now, in his devotional life,
25:39 he's actually picking up the same things.
25:41 He spends hours in devotional prayer.
25:44 And so the modeling is important,
25:47 just being there and being real,
25:49 you know, authentic.
25:50 So you're not showing one face at church
25:52 and your one face at home.
25:54 Yeah, just be real for your children.
25:55 I think it's the best in it, any parent can do.
25:59 And what are you passionate about?
26:00 What are you passionate about?
26:02 If you're passionate about God,
26:04 it's a higher chance for your children
26:05 to be passionate about God too.
26:07 If you're passionate about money,
26:08 whether you are working an honest job and working hard,
26:11 and they see you working hard, then they're going to think
26:13 about the easier way which can lead to violence.
26:15 So what are you passionate about?
26:17 And then, you have to know your children
26:19 'cause my daughter is totally different from my son.
26:22 And she needs a little more work,
26:25 little more encouragement.
26:26 So we have to encourage her, we have to be there for her.
26:29 And my son, you know, he's pretty much there,
26:33 but she needs encouragement.
26:35 Different styles, different methods
26:37 for the different children.
26:39 It's not one size fit all,
26:41 but I think modeling to her,
26:44 she more will grab the mother, her mom side of the modeling,
26:48 but that Christian modeling is very important.
26:51 It goes a long way. Yeah, I appreciate that.
26:52 I appreciate that 'cause just can keep going on, man.
26:55 We have a lot to talk about
26:57 and I just appreciate everything you shared.
26:59 And for the viewing audience, again,
27:03 fatherhood is not meant to be perfect.
27:06 You know, the reason we do this program,
27:09 the reason we sit down and discuss so openly
27:11 is because we want to show you that as ministers,
27:13 we're just as messed up as you are,
27:16 we're just as imperfect.
27:19 You know, we may be on camera,
27:23 but we can't hide who we are.
27:26 At the same time, we can't hide who God has made us to be.
27:30 We're all broken, we're all...
27:32 You know, we can all fell under category of bad fathers.
27:35 But God knows we're good fathers,
27:38 we're just imperfect,
27:39 we need a little tweaking, a little help.
27:41 And in order to keep our young men, young ladies,
27:44 our kids from violence,
27:46 we have to do the very best we can to hang on to Christ.
27:52 It may seem redundant at times,
27:54 it may seem weird but you know what?
27:56 It saves lives because Christ saves lives.
27:59 Do yourself a favor.
28:00 Be a father. Thank you for watching.