A Father's Heart

Cultural Differences In Manhood

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript



Series Code: AFH

Program Code: AFH000023A

00:01 A good father takes time to play.
00:05 He has strong integrity.
00:08 He is someone that is truly dedicated.
00:12 He is not afraid to show his love.
00:15 He is a caring provider.
00:18 And he is a kind spiritual leader.
00:23 These are just a few ways to describe a father's heart.
00:31 Hi, and welcome to A Father's Heart.
00:33 I'm your host, Xavier.
00:34 And today, we're going to be discussing
00:36 the cultural differences of manhood.
00:38 And with me to discuss that are my friends
00:40 Denry and Paul.
00:42 How you guys doing today?
00:43 Hey, blessed to be here again, brother.
00:45 All right, all right. Thanks for another opportunity.
00:47 So there's a high expectation for us, biblically, as fathers.
00:52 What about culturally?
00:53 Are there differences
00:55 and what can we do to not fizzle out
00:59 or I guess fall through the cracks
01:01 or compromise our spirituality?
01:05 Well, I think we have to remain adaptive
01:07 and that in itself may be a challenge,
01:09 how do we adapt to
01:11 without compromising biblical standard,
01:15 but we're in a culture that's ever changing,
01:17 we're in a society
01:19 wherein its culture is ever changing.
01:20 Our children are experiencing
01:23 a different cultural environment
01:25 certainly than we did or our parents did,
01:28 yet we have to be able to be observant enough,
01:32 responsive enough, proactive enough
01:35 to learn and understand that culture
01:38 and somehow be able to maintain Christian standards in the home
01:44 while not engaging too much conflict,
01:47 you know, to the point where you nullify
01:50 what it is that you're trying to instill in your child.
01:52 So don't be ignorant
01:56 would be my first word of encouragement
01:58 to all the fathers and all the parents out there.
02:00 Don't be ignorant to the culture of the times,
02:03 the fact that you are learned or knowledgeable of it
02:06 does not mean you condone or accept it,
02:08 but at least understand how it works...
02:10 Exactly.
02:12 So that we can maintain
02:13 a balance within the nuclear family.
02:15 You know, one of the...
02:17 I don't know
02:18 if there are studies been done about it,
02:19 but, you know, in the '70s, '80s, and '90s and 2000s,
02:24 you have a lot of immigrants coming into the United States
02:28 from the West Indies where we came from,
02:31 and I don't think our parents were ready for it.
02:34 Think about it for a second. They're raised...
02:36 You know my family were raised in the country area of Jamaica,
02:39 right?
02:40 So they're not used to skyscrapers,
02:41 they're not used to bus, subways,
02:44 those kind of situation,
02:47 they were used to going out 4 o'clock in the morning,
02:49 taking care of the cows, all these things,
02:51 and now they transition, come to New York City,
02:54 hall of New York, right?
02:57 Total cultural clash,
02:59 and they're still trying to raise us
03:02 with a West Indian mindset in an American society.
03:07 I would remember my dad even saying things like this,
03:11 "I know what you're thinking
03:12 'cause that's what I was doing when I was younger
03:14 or I've been there already,
03:16 I've been there already, I've done that already."
03:18 Or, you know, I was like, "No, you don't.
03:21 You've never went in the subway when you were younger."
03:24 And so there is that cultural clash for us
03:27 who came to this country,
03:29 you know, there's certain way of thinking,
03:32 they used to...
03:33 The men always at outside,
03:35 working either in the field or have a career,
03:38 the wives either at home
03:40 or doing some merchant job of selling fabric and stuff,
03:43 they come here, sometimes the roles are reversed.
03:46 My mom went to get a GED,
03:48 my stepdad came into my life later on
03:50 and I remember in conversations, he would say,
03:53 "Man, I wish my wife would be at home
03:55 and be a wife and cook some food for me,
03:58 you know, like they used to do back in the days."
04:00 But my mom was out there working two jobs
04:03 to match his income
04:04 so that we can have food on the table,
04:08 that's a real challenge,
04:09 that was a real challenge for us.
04:10 It's tough.
04:12 We have to balance all of that as I'm saying
04:15 with the evolving needs.
04:17 What we have to ensure also
04:19 relative to what Denry is saying,
04:21 we have to ensure
04:22 that we know the constants, all right?
04:25 So things may change
04:26 wherein you are no longer having family breakfast,
04:32 you're no longer having family lunch, God forbid,
04:34 you're no longer having family dinner together
04:36 because everybody is off doing something,
04:38 you know, or even when we do, we have this new very...
04:44 What is it?
04:45 I don't even know what to term it.
04:47 But where everybody is in the device,
04:49 everybody is in iPad and iPhone or Android or whatever,
04:54 you know, everybody is in some kind of electronic device,
04:56 even when we are at times
04:58 where we should be cohesively bonding,
05:01 but the constants are,
05:02 one in devotion, daily devotion,
05:04 whatever time it is in your family,
05:06 you want to make sure you instill consistency
05:11 within that exercise,
05:13 regardless of what cultural nuance
05:15 or changes
05:17 you're facing within the home.
05:19 Something that I'd like to talk about a little bit
05:22 is culture and discipline within the home of the Father
05:27 because God is so good,
05:29 I got out of seminary,
05:31 I didn't receive a full time commitment immediately
05:34 so I continued in the area of social work,
05:37 and so within that timeframe,
05:39 I became a program supervisor
05:42 for southwest Michigan area of Berrien County
05:45 supervising four counties,
05:47 population of over about more than 50,000 for sure,
05:51 but all the cases for those four counties
05:55 would end up on my desk,
05:57 anything dealing with CPS
05:59 and reunification of children to their bio parents.
06:05 So these are parents
06:07 who had infractions in their home
06:08 that caused the state to remove their children,
06:10 place the children in foster care,
06:12 they have completed a court process
06:15 and have demonstrated the court in some way
06:17 that they're competent
06:18 to correct the mistakes they made
06:19 and parent the child,
06:21 but before the court releases wardship,
06:24 they would have to complete my program.
06:26 And there were times when, you know, at any given day,
06:29 I'd have about 30 to 40 cases on my desk that I'm reviewing
06:34 and it would hit me like a brick
06:37 when I would go through some of those cases
06:40 and recognize by the demographics
06:42 and the details shared,
06:43 this is a Seventh-day Adventist person.
06:44 Wow. I'd be like, "Whoa."
06:46 And then I would read further
06:48 the details of what caused the removal from the home,
06:51 and sometimes, it would stun me
06:54 that a Christian parent was demonstrating
06:57 this kind of behavior in parenting.
06:59 And in some cases,
07:01 I could clearly see this case should not be here,
07:04 this person...
07:05 There was a breakdown in communication
07:07 and understanding somewhere.
07:09 So what I'm saying here
07:10 is it's important for us in the church
07:11 to be educated on the appropriate way
07:15 to discipline our children
07:16 as it pertains to the laws of the state,
07:19 what we need to be aware of
07:21 and what we need to ensure
07:23 we do or don't do
07:25 and your cultural background,
07:28 whether you were from the US originally or not,
07:31 we are all under the umbrella of a Christian culture,
07:34 of a biblical culture
07:35 and there are those of us
07:37 who read or receive this biblical culture,
07:40 take it literally in many ways,
07:43 you know, all the varied reference
07:44 may have spared a rod and spoil the child etcetera, etcetera,
07:47 and we take that to the extreme.
07:52 So it's important to know that balance.
07:55 You know, and that has been a good point too because,
07:59 for example, for me,
08:01 I came for Puerto Rico,
08:03 different culture, different setting,
08:05 you know, it's a patriarchal culture,
08:08 where as they say, you know,
08:10 the women are supposed to be in the kitchen.
08:14 Given the fact that my home that I grew up in,
08:16 it wasn't like that...
08:18 Oh.
08:19 'Cause my mom wasn't having that.
08:21 I was about to say, "Watch it."
08:22 Exactly. My mom wasn't having that.
08:24 You know, I was raised differently,
08:26 my parents shared the balance equally.
08:29 My dad taught me, you know, you share a home equally,
08:33 you know, if she cooks and cleans,
08:35 you can also cook and clean,
08:37 you know, but where my clash comes in is the division,
08:42 what I mean by that is I'm here in the States,
08:46 I've been here for many, many, many, many years,
08:50 but I still cannot get used to it
08:52 because I try to say hi to my neighbor
08:55 and they're shutting the door before I can get a word out.
08:58 Like you said, everybody's on something
09:00 or some kind of electronic device,
09:01 nobody talks to each other,
09:02 I'm not used to that,
09:04 I'm used to saying good morning.
09:05 You know, when I go back home to visit
09:06 or go to my wife's island of Antigua to go visit,
09:10 you say good morning.
09:11 Good morning. Yes.
09:12 If you don't speak up...
09:14 Yes.
09:15 That means that you're letting the whole neighborhood know
09:17 that there's something going on between you two,
09:18 there's a beef that's,
09:19 you know, there's an issue that you two have
09:22 because you're not saying good morning.
09:24 I'm not used to such a individualistic culture.
09:28 And my girls, I'm trying to teach them,
09:30 you know, be inclusive, not exclusive...
09:32 Yeah.
09:34 You know, and that's something that's permeated
09:35 our churches as well
09:36 because as men in the church, as fathers,
09:39 we see that we have slowly drifted
09:43 and become more of an exclusive culture...
09:47 Yeah. Not an inclusive.
09:49 So how do we work on that?
09:51 How can we change
09:53 that exclusivity of our churches
09:55 into an inclusive,
09:57 you know, place for all people especially as men?
10:00 It's a community, church community,
10:03 having more than just worship on Sabbath,
10:06 afternoon programs where people dialogue,
10:09 they share small groups at people's homes
10:13 so they could share ideas, share viewpoints.
10:17 You know, I've seen with families...
10:18 There are three Rs
10:20 that's always having a hard time.
10:21 Respect and understanding of what respect means,
10:24 understanding that what's responsibilities,
10:27 and understanding of roles,
10:28 especially with cultures,
10:30 all three of those mean different things.
10:33 I was raised in also a Hispanic Jamaican home.
10:38 My stepfather is from Costa Rica,
10:40 his parent is a Hispanic, right?
10:43 We're South American, yeah.
10:44 Yes. Central.
10:46 Central, yeah, Central America, but he was Hispanic, right?
10:48 So he had a Latino background.
10:53 Basically, his principles were from a Spanish home
10:57 and my mother is Jamaican,
10:59 and so there were times their view of manners,
11:03 respect would clash.
11:05 His rule was basically if you see anybody,
11:08 you talk to them, right?
11:10 Her rule was, "Well, we're in the United States,
11:12 these people are strangers.
11:14 I don't want them to hurt our children.
11:15 If we know them, yes, we say hello to them,
11:18 but if we don't know them,
11:20 you know, we may nod and move on."
11:22 And this was also a culture in New York City.
11:25 In New York City,
11:26 you don't talk to strangers, even adults.
11:29 When I went to Alabama, to Huntsville, Alabama,
11:32 everybody's saying hello to me.
11:33 I'm like, "Why?
11:35 Did I do something wrong?" Do I know you?
11:36 Exactly. Do I know you?
11:38 Do I owe you money?
11:39 And so even there...
11:41 Then the roles, you know, in the home,
11:42 like as I mentioned before,
11:43 my dad, he just had this mindset,
11:45 the wife needs to be at home, taking care of the children,
11:48 cooking the food,
11:50 you know, doing a little washing here, whatever.
11:52 I go out, I go hunt and provide the food,
11:56 she comes home cooks it,
11:58 I sit around on the couch and wait until it's ready.
12:02 Man, there was a clash within that
12:04 'cause my mother was like,
12:05 "No, that's not how we're going to do this."
12:08 And so there was always this arguing.
12:10 So here I am, here I am now,
12:13 this junior teenager or early teen,
12:17 and I'm watching this
12:18 and I'm watching these two go back and forth,
12:20 two different cultures clashing,
12:22 and here I am trying to learn who I am,
12:25 my identity, in America.
12:27 Do you know where I really got my identity?
12:29 The church. The church.
12:32 When we would have the pastor of the church like,
12:35 Kendal Guy, Abraham Jules,
12:37 they will have these rap sessions,
12:39 these coming together...
12:40 The men of the church will talk
12:42 and the ladies will go on another side and they talk.
12:44 You know, people don't do that no more,
12:46 I'm going to bring that back as a pastor,
12:48 and just these conversations...
12:50 And so you hear new ideas
12:52 and my stepfather would hear these ideas,
12:55 and go like, "Oh, oh.
12:56 Okay, okay, I can do that.
12:59 I think I can do that."
13:00 And so that helped us,
13:02 so the church community
13:04 doing those things outside of worship,
13:07 but coming together as a community,
13:09 building and growing together,
13:11 that really is what helped me
13:14 when my parents were going back and forth like a tennis match.
13:16 Boom, boom, boom.
13:18 I went to the church and I would say, "Okay."
13:20 I would say, "This is the path I want to take."
13:25 That's crazy.
13:26 You know, and I'm reminded of that
13:27 because Jesus Himself,
13:31 He was an anomaly so to speak,
13:36 you know, He did not fit the cultural norm.
13:39 That's why He got crucified...
13:40 Exactly.
13:41 Because He didn't fit the cultural norm.
13:43 You know, and you mentioned something,
13:44 you know, Jamaican getting used to acclimating yourself
13:49 to a different culture
13:51 while still retaining your own culture,
13:53 and that's something that is extremely difficult
13:56 because on one hand,
13:58 you know, this is how you do things back home,
14:01 but now you're in a different home
14:04 and it seems like
14:05 it's hitting you from every angle.
14:07 You know, how do you keep a leveled head
14:10 to be able to help your kids?
14:11 Because I know one of the demands for me,
14:13 people always ask me,
14:15 "You're from Puerto Rico, right,
14:16 you teach your kids Spanish"
14:18 And I'm like, well, I am
14:19 but now because you're telling me to
14:21 because the culture
14:22 or whatever you want to call it says I have to,
14:25 but it's because I want them to learn a different language.
14:27 I want them to know where they come from
14:29 because that's where I found my identity
14:31 when I learned my identity here
14:34 but when I found out Puerto Rico, my ancestry
14:37 and that's how I found my identity
14:39 and the church enhanced it by community...
14:42 Yeah.
14:43 'Cause that's what we were taught in seminary
14:45 that people come to church
14:46 but they stay because of the relationships
14:48 they build.
14:50 Yeah. That's right.
14:51 So culturally...
14:53 I'm just lost of words.
14:54 What can we do? What do we do?
14:56 If I can say just before your go.
14:57 Yeah, sure.
14:59 Culture is seasoning, it's flavor, okay?
15:03 Our spirituality of faith, that's the meat or the salad,
15:06 whatever it is, it's culture is...
15:09 So just like some people like paprika,
15:12 some people like turmeric, that helps to season the food.
15:15 The problem is when we make culture our religion,
15:20 a culture our, you know, that this has to be this way.
15:23 Culture is a seasoning because the way...
15:26 Even if he and I were from the same community,
15:29 we still see things different.
15:31 He is raising his home, I'm raising my home,
15:33 so I'm going to bring my seasoning to the table,
15:35 he's going to bring his seasoning to the table.
15:38 Absolutely. Absolutely.
15:39 I think remaining culturally relevant
15:42 is very important
15:44 and the only way we can do that
15:46 is by being culturally knowledgeable...
15:48 Yeah.
15:50 Culturally informed, culturally educated.
15:52 As Christian fathers, we have to be careful
15:55 that we are not to...
15:58 You used the word exclusive, inclusive.
16:01 A lot of us, we have a sense of dominant culture,
16:04 which of course is ours.
16:06 So, you know, you tell your child something like,
16:09 "Oh, we don't do it like that in here,
16:11 you know, where you get that from?
16:14 You know, we don't do it like that."
16:15 You know, whatever form of authority
16:17 you're going to express.
16:19 You have to be careful with that.
16:22 Learn to use Facebook, learn to text,
16:27 you know, at least learn those things,
16:30 learn some form of social media
16:32 to communicate with your children.
16:35 That's the way they communicate, okay,
16:36 send them a text message.
16:38 You know, it made no sense to me that...
16:40 I remember the first day,
16:41 phone buzzes, pick up the phone,
16:44 it's my daughter Avia,
16:45 "Dad, how come blah, blah, blah."
16:47 I was like,
16:49 "Didn't I just hear your voice?
16:51 Aren't you in the house?
16:53 Avia!"
16:54 Then I hear from way,
16:55 you know, another floor
16:57 over the couple of rooms like, "Yes!"
16:58 "Why you texting me, child? You're in the house.
17:02 If you got something to ask me, come ask me."
17:05 You know, but I learned,
17:07 hey, that's the way they communicate.
17:09 She doesn't want to leave her bedroom,
17:10 she can easily just send a text message to me.
17:12 So I learned to communicate by text with her also,
17:14 these things are important,
17:16 and as I'm saying also even as it pertains
17:19 to the civil culture within which we function,
17:22 we must learn and understand it.
17:24 This issue that I mentioned
17:25 earlier of culture and discipline
17:28 is a very serious one.
17:29 So churches also, we as fathers,
17:32 need to do our best to educate our congregations
17:36 and our communities
17:37 on how to understand and how to function
17:40 within those cultural norms.
17:43 Yeah.
17:44 And I like that because you brought something
17:46 a question to my mind that,
17:47 you know, I can be like that,
17:48 that's not how we do it back in Puerto Rico.
17:51 You know, and part of it is
17:53 because I see what the world's coming to,
17:55 what these young people are coming to,
17:57 you know, where CPS is called if you discipline them,
18:01 and if you spank them and it's not a feather,
18:05 then everybody gets mad,
18:07 you know, and just so many different things
18:10 culturally that I just...
18:12 Man, it just makes me angry, like, leave me alone.
18:15 Leave me alone, let me raise my children
18:16 the way I want to raise my children,
18:18 but, you know, you brought up a good question
18:21 that I think we can generalize it
18:23 to the church in general.
18:26 How do we adapt without compromising?
18:31 As fathers, as a church, as pastors,
18:34 how do we adapt to a culture,
18:37 you know, and change up?
18:39 As they say, you know,
18:40 you have a different methods of delivery
18:43 through the years, they've changed,
18:45 the contents of the package hasn't changed,
18:48 but the way it's delivered has changed,
18:50 and it seems like a lot of times,
18:52 both in church and outside a church,
18:54 we seem to be stuck in the same delivery method
18:58 which is no longer functional at times.
19:00 So how do we adapt without compromise?
19:03 Yes, yes.
19:05 Being culturally relative
19:07 without compromising biblical principle.
19:10 You know, I think God through His Holy Spirit...
19:14 If you and I have a close relationship with God,
19:16 if we have a daily relationship with Him,
19:18 there's much of that
19:20 that the Holy Spirit will give to us,
19:23 the Holy Spirit will also teach us
19:24 new languages of communication, new forms of communication,
19:30 that's part of our general growth
19:32 and development
19:33 and we really should not be resistant to that.
19:37 I think it's helpful for us to...
19:39 The men's ministry is another significant one
19:42 within our churches where as men,
19:45 we can get together and we can discuss these things
19:48 using the church as a forum in some sense,
19:53 Denry mentioned earlier,
19:54 I think you were referring to like AY programs
19:56 if I'm not mistaken.
19:57 You know, but having these type of workshops within the church,
19:59 whether it's AY, whether it's on a Sunday,
20:02 just providing this education to the general public
20:04 and to the church population is also helpful.
20:09 But I think what retards the process
20:13 is this fear and insecurity
20:15 that I cannot be culturally relevant
20:18 and at the same time be biblical,
20:19 and that's not true,
20:21 that's not the model that Christ gave us either.
20:24 I think Christ did very well to interact.
20:27 Ellen White uses the term mingle,
20:30 but He took time to know individuals,
20:32 to understand their cultural mindset
20:35 and then He spoke back to them in their language,
20:38 in their cultural language.
20:40 So I think we have to do the same in our homes,
20:42 with our children,
20:43 you've got to learn your child's cultural language
20:46 or your children's cultural language
20:48 and speak it back to them.
20:49 Yes.
20:50 It's still the gospel you're sharing with them,
20:52 but you're speaking in a different language.
20:53 Yes, you know, the danger is
20:57 when you worded down someone else's culture
21:00 and make your culture superior.
21:04 You know, when one superiority over the other,
21:07 that's going to cause a war, so you don't cause confusion.
21:10 You know, I find with my young people,
21:12 they are looking for culture.
21:15 They're looking for culture,
21:16 they're going to look for it in the music,
21:18 they're going to look for it in a celebrity,
21:20 they're looking for culture.
21:22 You know why?
21:23 Because culture also brews values.
21:26 Going back to my analogy with the seasonings.
21:28 There are some seasonings that are not good...
21:30 Mm-hmm.
21:32 You know, maybe, you know, they're so in your culture,
21:33 you should look and say, "Okay,
21:35 what things in my culture
21:36 are not going to help my child's spirituality?"
21:40 Okay?
21:41 "My child is not going to grow in my culture."
21:43 So if it's a black pepper, "Okay,
21:45 we're not going to use black pepper no more,
21:47 but we have cayenne pepper in our culture,
21:49 so let's use that."
21:51 You see what I'm saying?
21:52 What are the things in my culture
21:53 that's going to help bring my child
21:56 closer to Christ?
21:58 What are the things in my culture that
21:59 that brings value to families?
22:02 You know, some of our cultures...
22:03 I love Hispanic cultures
22:05 in the sense that they love to come together
22:08 no matter what they're doing at the end of the day,
22:11 have beans and rice together,
22:12 you know, and the whole family is there.
22:15 I'll never forget, we went to someplace else
22:18 in Central America, right?
22:20 Right next to Costa Rica,
22:22 and it was breakfast, it was what?
22:24 Breakfast.
22:25 The whole family was there,
22:27 the aunts, the uncles, the grandma, grandpa,
22:30 uncles, dad, children, everybody,
22:32 and everybody participated in making breakfast.
22:36 That was so dynamic.
22:37 I went back to America, got me a toast,
22:40 you know, and cream cheese,
22:42 you know, and everybody is rushing in and out
22:45 to go to work.
22:46 So there are things in our cultures
22:48 that are essence,
22:49 are flavors to help our spiritual growth,
22:52 and those are the things we need to with our children,
22:55 not just AY, but I was also talking about Sundays
22:58 and, you know, having just some bonding
23:01 to different people of different cultures.
23:03 Appreciate different people's cultures
23:06 and that will help
23:07 because your children are always looking,
23:09 "What can I pass on?
23:11 I want to be like my dad. I want to be like my mom.
23:14 And then when I get older,
23:15 I would like to pass on something to my children."
23:17 So give them the good flavor of our culture
23:20 to help their spirituality.
23:21 We like avocados too.
23:23 Don't forget that.
23:25 Yeah, we like it too.
23:26 We like the avocado
23:28 with a little bit of adobo right there.
23:29 Yes, sir.
23:31 Amen.
23:32 Xavier, we were talking
23:33 about role distinction a little earlier also,
23:35 which I think is of great importance.
23:38 And I'm not too keen on stripping families
23:43 of their cultural understanding of the role distinction
23:47 because those things
23:49 are a part of a tightly woven fiber often
23:52 and if you try to undo it too much,
23:55 then everything just becomes like,
23:57 you know, loose yarn.
23:59 So for the family to remain a unit
24:02 and to remain secure as a unit,
24:04 it's often important that we respect those norms.
24:08 So if your culture is such
24:10 that only men put the garbage out
24:14 or only men lift heavy objects or only men do shopping
24:20 or whatever it may be or only men do dishes,
24:24 then if that's of value to you, that's fine.
24:29 I think you can still maintain those practices
24:32 or that role distinction
24:35 and yet remain centered within Christian principle,
24:40 even for the migrant population.
24:42 We've had a shift
24:44 wherein most women are who satisfied
24:49 the initial migration pool to the US.
24:51 My mom came to the US in about 1968,
24:55 her younger sister, my aunt, came in the earlier 60s,
24:58 but it was mainly women
25:00 and this was a result of the US facing sequential wars,
25:04 you know, we had World War II,
25:06 then Korea War, Vietnam War,
25:09 hope I have the order correctly,
25:11 but it depleted the female civil resource
25:15 within the United States.
25:16 So women were no longer teachers and customer services,
25:20 and a lot of them went and worked in the factories.
25:23 So once the war was done
25:24 and the US societies now redeveloping,
25:26 the community is rebuilding itself,
25:28 there was this void of females to satisfy civil service roles,
25:32 and so the US opened its migration port
25:34 and influx thousands of Caribbean women
25:38 because they were English speaking
25:39 and they were right there and they were skilled
25:41 and licensed etcetera, etcetera.
25:43 Most of the men got left behind,
25:45 the men came after
25:47 and then they had to kind of do catch up.
25:49 So a lot of our homes had matriarchs,
25:52 females taking the leading role.
25:55 And sometimes,
25:57 you're forced to do things like that to adapt
26:00 to a new cultural environment or a new society
26:02 and you have to be malleable or flexible enough
26:05 to embrace these things
26:07 while yet remembering
26:09 your Christian commitment and biblical principle,
26:13 but it can be done.
26:15 Yeah, it sounds like, you know,
26:17 like multicultural fatherhood
26:19 is one of like when you're cooking a big meal,
26:23 you know, it's almost, I think, a heaven,
26:26 you know, because
26:27 everybody's bringing something different to the table,
26:29 but we can all feast on something great
26:32 if we just come together.
26:34 Yes.
26:36 And I think that's the most critical part as fathers
26:37 is coming together,
26:39 acknowledging that, you know...
26:41 But we can't do it alone.
26:43 We can't do it alone.
26:44 We have to do it together
26:46 and just bring to the table what you got.
26:48 You know, and work on what we need
26:50 and what we have and just really look to Christ
26:53 to bind us together.
26:54 And for the audience that's viewing,
26:57 you know,
26:59 there's always that what if factor,
27:03 that question, that confusion
27:06 or, you know, maybe you're from a different country,
27:09 you're brand new to this country,
27:12 you know, maybe there's some apprehension,
27:13 maybe you're just mad as a father
27:16 because you see the way the world is going
27:18 and this is not how we did it back in my day.
27:20 Well, a lot of us have those same thoughts,
27:23 but we've got to come to realize that,
27:25 yeah, it's not like back in our day, it's today.
27:28 You know, but just like Christ,
27:31 rise above and change the cultural norm
27:35 and adapt without compromising.
27:38 We too can do the same thing for our children
27:40 to show our children
27:42 the ability to be inclusive of all cultures,
27:46 not exclusive, while at the same time
27:48 holding tight to that foundation
27:50 that only Christ can give,
27:52 and that is such an important part for you
27:54 as a father to contribute to your child.
27:57 Please step up, step out and do your role as a father.
28:00 Thank you.


Revised 2018-10-18