A Father's Heart

Cultural Differences In Manhood

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

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Series Code: AFH

Program Code: AFH000023S


00:01 A good father takes time to play.
00:05 He has strong integrity.
00:08 He is someone that is truly dedicated.
00:12 He is not afraid to show his love.
00:16 He is a caring provider.
00:20 And he is a kind spiritual leader.
00:22 These are just a few ways to describe a father's heart.
00:28 Hi, and welcome to A Father's Heart.
00:29 I'm your host, Xavier.
00:30 And today, we're going to be discussing
00:32 the cultural differences of manhood.
00:34 And with me to discuss that are my friends Denry and Paul.
00:38 How you guys doing today?
00:39 Hey, blessed to be here again, brother.
00:41 All right, all right. Thanks for another opportunity.
00:43 So there's a high expectation for us,
00:46 biblically, as fathers.
00:48 What about culturally?
00:49 Are there differences
00:51 and what can we do to not fizzle out
00:55 or I guess fall through the cracks
00:58 or compromise our spirituality?
01:01 Well, I think we have to remain adaptive
01:03 and that in itself may be a challenge,
01:05 how do we adapt to
01:08 without compromising biblical standard,
01:11 but we're in a culture that's ever changing,
01:13 we're in a society
01:15 wherein its culture is ever changing.
01:17 Our children are experiencing
01:19 a different cultural environment
01:21 certainly than we did or our parents did,
01:25 yet we have to be able to be observant enough,
01:28 responsive enough, proactive enough to learn
01:32 and understand that culture
01:34 and somehow be able to maintain Christian standards in the home
01:40 while not engaging too much conflict,
01:44 you know, to the point where you nullify
01:46 what it is that you're trying to instill
01:47 in your child.
01:49 So don't be ignorant
01:52 would be my first word of encouragement
01:54 to all the fathers and all the parents out there.
01:56 Don't be ignorant to the culture of the times,
01:58 the fact that you are learned or knowledgeable of it
02:03 does not mean you condone or accept it,
02:05 but at least understand how it works...
02:06 Exactly.
02:08 So that we can maintain a balance
02:09 within the nuclear family.
02:12 You know, one of the...
02:13 I don't know
02:14 if there are studies been done about it,
02:16 but, you know, in the '70s, '80s, and '90s and 2000s,
02:21 you have a lot of immigrants coming into the United States
02:24 from the West Indies where we came from,
02:27 and I don't think our parents were ready for it.
02:30 Think about it for a second.
02:32 They're raised...
02:33 You know my family were raised in the country area
02:35 of Jamaica, right?
02:36 So they're not used to skyscrapers,
02:38 they're not used to bus, subways,
02:41 those kind of situation,
02:43 they were used to going out
02:44 4 o'clock in the morning, taking care of the cows,
02:46 all these things, and now they transition,
02:49 come to New York City, hall of New York, right?
02:53 Total cultural clash,
02:55 and they're still trying to raise us
02:58 with a West Indian mindset in an American society.
03:03 I would remember my dad even saying things like this,
03:07 "I know what you're thinking
03:08 'cause that's what I was doing when I was younger
03:11 or I've been there already, I've been there already,
03:13 I've done that already."
03:15 Or, you know, I was like, "No, you don't.
03:18 You never went in the subway when you were younger."
03:20 And so there is that cultural clash for us
03:24 who came to this country,
03:26 you know, there's certain way of thinking,
03:28 they used to...
03:30 The men always at outside,
03:31 working either in the field or have a career,
03:34 the wives either at home
03:36 or doing some merchant job of selling fabric and stuff,
03:39 they come here,
03:41 sometimes the roles are reversed.
03:42 My mom went to get a GED,
03:44 my stepdad came into my life later on
03:46 and I remember in conversations,
03:48 he would say, "Man,
03:50 I wish my wife would be at home
03:52 and be a wife and cook some food for me,
03:54 you know, like they used to do back in the days."
03:56 But my mom was out there working two jobs
03:59 to match his income
04:00 so that we can have food on the table,
04:04 that's a real challenge,
04:05 that was a real challenge for us.
04:06 It's tough. It's tough.
04:08 We have to balance all of that
04:10 as I'm saying with the evolving needs.
04:13 What we have to ensure also
04:15 relative to what Denry is saying,
04:17 we have to ensure
04:19 that we know the constants, all right?
04:21 So things may change wherein
04:23 you are no longer having family breakfast,
04:28 you're no longer having family lunch,
04:30 God forbid, you're no longer having
04:31 family dinner together
04:33 because everybody is off doing something,
04:34 you know, or even when we do, we have this new very...
04:40 What is it?
04:41 I don't even know what to term it,
04:43 but where everybody is in the device,
04:46 everybody is in iPad and iPhone or Android or whatever,
04:50 you know, everybody is in some kind of electronic device,
04:53 even when we are at times
04:54 where we should be cohesively bonding,
04:57 but the constants are, one in devotion,
05:00 daily devotion,
05:01 whatever time it is in your family,
05:03 you wanna make sure
05:04 you instill consistency within that exercise,
05:09 regardless of what cultural nuance
05:12 or changes you're facing within the home.
05:15 Something that I'd like to talk about a little bit
05:18 is culture and discipline
05:21 within the home of the Father
05:23 because God is so good, I got out of seminary,
05:27 I didn't receive
05:29 a full time commitment immediately
05:30 so I continued in the area of social work,
05:34 and so within that timeframe,
05:35 I became a program supervisor
05:38 for southwest Michigan area of Berrien County
05:41 supervising four counties,
05:44 population of over about more than 50,000 for sure,
05:48 but all the cases for those four counties
05:51 would end up on my desk,
05:54 anything dealing with CPS and reunification of children
06:00 to their bio parents.
06:01 So these are parents
06:03 who had infractions in their home
06:04 that caused the state to remove their children,
06:06 place the children in foster care, they are now,
06:09 they have completed a court process
06:11 and have demonstrated the court
06:12 in some way that they're competent
06:14 to correct the mistakes they made
06:16 and parent the child,
06:17 but before the court releases wardship,
06:20 they would have to complete my program.
06:22 And there were times
06:24 when, you know, at any given day,
06:25 I'd have about 30 to 40 cases on my desk
06:29 that I'm reviewing
06:30 and it would hit me like a brick
06:34 when I would go through some of those cases
06:36 and recognize by the demographics
06:38 and the details shared,
06:39 this is a Seventh-day Adventist person.
06:41 Wow. I'd be like, "Whoa."
06:43 And then I would read further
06:44 the details of what caused the removal from the home,
06:47 and sometimes, it would stun me
06:51 that a Christian parent was demonstrating
06:53 this kind of behavior in parenting.
06:56 And in some cases, I could clearly see
06:58 this case should not be here, this person...
07:01 There was a breakdown in communication
07:03 and understanding somewhere.
07:05 So what I'm saying here is it's important for us
07:07 in the church to be educated
07:09 on the appropriate way to discipline our children
07:12 as it pertains to the laws of the state,
07:15 what we need to be aware of
07:18 and what we need to ensure we do or don't do
07:21 and your cultural background,
07:24 whether you were from the US originally or not,
07:27 we are all under the umbrella of a Christian culture,
07:30 of a biblical culture.
07:32 And there are those of us who read or receive
07:35 this biblical culture,
07:37 take it literally in many ways,
07:39 you know, all the varied reference
07:41 may have spared a rod and spoil the child
07:43 etcetera, etcetera,
07:44 and we take that to the extreme.
07:48 So it's important to know that balance.
07:52 You know, and that has been a good point too
07:54 because, for example, for me, I came from Puerto Rico,
07:59 different culture, different setting,
08:01 you know, it's a patriarchal culture,
08:04 where as they say,
08:06 you know, the women are supposed to be
08:08 in the kitchen.
08:10 Given the fact that my home that I grew up in,
08:12 it wasn't like that...
08:14 Oh.
08:15 'Cause my mom wasn't having that.
08:17 I was about to say, "Watch it."
08:19 Exactly. My mom wasn't having that.
08:20 You know, I was raised differently,
08:22 my parents shared the balance equally.
08:25 My dad taught me, you know, you share a home equally,
08:29 you know, if she cooks and cleans,
08:31 you can also cook and clean,
08:33 you know, but where my clash comes in
08:36 is the division,
08:39 what I mean by that is I'm here in the States,
08:42 I've been here for many, many, many, many years,
08:46 but I still cannot get used to it
08:48 because I try to say hi to my neighbor
08:51 and they're shutting the door before I can get a word out.
08:55 Like you said, everybody's on something
08:56 or some kind of electronic device,
08:57 nobody talks to each other,
08:59 I'm not used to that,
09:00 I'm used to saying good morning.
09:01 You know, when I go back home
09:03 to visit or go to my wife's island
09:04 of Antigua to go visit,
09:06 you say good morning.
09:07 Good morning. Yes.
09:09 If you don't speak up... Yes.
09:10 That means that you're letting the whole neighborhood know
09:12 that there's something going on between you two,
09:14 there's a beef that's,
09:16 you know, there's an issue that you two have
09:18 because you're not saying good morning.
09:20 I'm not used
09:21 to such a individualistic culture.
09:24 And my girls, I'm trying to teach them,
09:26 you know, be inclusive, not exclusive...
09:28 Yeah.
09:30 You know, and that's something
09:31 that's permeated our churches as well
09:32 because as men in the church, as fathers,
09:35 we see that we have slowly drifted
09:40 and become more of an exclusive culture...
09:43 Yeah. Not an inclusive.
09:46 So how do we work on that?
09:48 How can we change that
09:49 exclusivity of our churches into an inclusive,
09:53 you know, place for all people
09:55 especially as men?
09:56 It's a community, church community,
09:59 having more than just worship on Sabbath,
10:03 afternoon programs where people dialogue,
10:05 they share small groups at people's homes
10:09 so they could share ideas, share viewpoints.
10:13 You know, I've seen with families...
10:15 There are three Rs
10:16 that's always having a hard time.
10:18 Respect and understanding of what respect means,
10:21 understanding that what's responsibilities,
10:23 and understanding of roles, especially with cultures,
10:26 all three of those mean different things.
10:29 I was raised in also a Hispanic Jamaican home.
10:34 My stepfather is from Costa Rica,
10:37 his parent is a Hispanic, right?
10:39 We're South American, yeah. Yeah, Central.
10:41 Central, yeah, Central America, but he was Hispanic, right?
10:45 So he had a Latino background.
10:50 Basically, his principles were from a Spanish home
10:53 and my mother is Jamaican,
10:55 and so there were times their view of manners,
10:59 respect would clash.
11:01 His rule was basically if you see anybody,
11:04 you talk to them, right?
11:06 Her rule was, "Well, we're in the United States,
11:08 these people are strangers.
11:10 I don't want them to hurt our children.
11:12 If we know them, yes, we say hello to them,
11:15 but if we don't know them,
11:16 you know, we may nod and move on."
11:18 And this was also a culture in New York City.
11:21 In New York City, you don't talk to strangers,
11:24 even adults.
11:26 When I went to Alabama, to Huntsville, Alabama,
11:28 everybody's saying hello to me.
11:29 I'm like, "Why?
11:31 Did I do something wrong?"
11:32 Do I know you? Exactly.
11:34 Do I know you? Do I owe you money?
11:35 And so even there...
11:36 Then the roles, you know, in the home,
11:38 like as I mentioned before,
11:39 my dad, he just had this mindset,
11:41 the wife needs to be at home, taking care of the children,
11:45 cooking the food,
11:46 you know, doing a little washing here,
11:48 whatever.
11:49 I go out, I go hunt and provide the food,
11:52 she comes home cooks it,
11:54 I sit around on the couch and wait until it's ready.
11:58 Man, there was a clash within that
12:00 'cause my mother was like,
12:02 "No, that's not how we're going to do this."
12:04 And so there was always this arguing.
12:06 So here I am, here I am now,
12:10 this junior teenager or early teen,
12:13 and I'm watching this
12:15 and I'm watching these two go back and forth,
12:16 two different cultures clashing,
12:18 and here I am trying to learn who I am, my identity,
12:22 in America.
12:24 Do you know where I really got my identity?
12:25 The church. The church.
12:29 When we would have the pastor of the church like,
12:32 Kendal Guy, Abraham Jules,
12:33 they will have these rap sessions,
12:35 these coming together...
12:37 The men of the church will talk
12:39 and the ladies will go on another side and they talk.
12:41 You know, people don't do that no more,
12:42 I'm going to bring that back as a pastor,
12:44 and just these conversations...
12:46 And so you hear new ideas
12:48 and my stepfather would hear these ideas,
12:51 and go like, "Oh, oh.
12:53 Okay, okay, I can do that.
12:55 I think I can do that."
12:57 And so that helped us,
12:58 so the church community doing those things
13:01 outside of worship,
13:03 but coming together as a community,
13:05 building and growing together,
13:08 that really is what helped me
13:10 when my parents were going back and forth
13:12 like a tennis match.
13:13 Boom, boom, boom.
13:14 I went to the church and I would say, "Okay."
13:17 I would say, "This is the path I wanna take."
13:21 That's crazy.
13:22 You know, and I'm reminded of that
13:23 because Jesus Himself,
13:27 He was an anomaly so to speak,
13:32 you know, He did not fit the cultural norm.
13:35 That's why He got crucified... Exactly.
13:37 Because He didn't fit the cultural norm.
13:39 You know, and you mentioned something,
13:40 you know, Jamaican
13:43 getting used to acclimating yourself
13:46 to a different culture
13:47 while still retaining your own culture,
13:49 and that's something that is extremely difficult
13:53 because on one hand,
13:55 you know, this is how you do things back home,
13:58 but now you're in a different home
14:00 and it seems like it's hitting you
14:02 from every angle.
14:03 You know, how do you keep a leveled head
14:06 to be able to help your kids?
14:08 Because I know one of the demands for me,
14:10 people always ask me, "You're from Puerto Rico,
14:11 right, you teach your kids Spanish?"
14:14 And I'm like, well, I am,
14:15 but now because you're telling me to
14:17 because the culture or whatever you want to call it
14:20 says I have to,
14:21 but it's because I want them to learn a different language.
14:23 I want them to know where they come from
14:25 because that's where I found my identity
14:27 when I learned my identity here
14:30 but when I found out Puerto Rico, my ancestry
14:33 and that's how I found my identity
14:35 and the church enhanced it by community...
14:38 Yeah.
14:39 'Cause that's what we were taught in seminary
14:41 that people come to church,
14:42 but they stay
14:44 because of the relationships they build.
14:45 Yeah. That's right.
14:47 So culturally...
14:49 I'm just, I'm at loss of words.
14:51 What can we do? What do we do?
14:52 If I can say just before you go.
14:53 Yeah, sure.
14:55 Culture is seasoning, it's flavor, okay?
14:58 Our spirituality of faith, that's the meat or the salad,
15:03 whatever it is, it's culture is...
15:06 So just like some people like paprika,
15:08 some people like turmeric, that helps to season the food.
15:11 The problem is
15:13 when we make culture our religion,
15:17 a culture our, you know, that this has to be this way.
15:19 Culture is a seasoning because the way...
15:22 Even if he and I were from the same community,
15:26 we still see things different.
15:27 He is raising his home, I'm raising my home,
15:29 so I'm gonna bring my seasoning to the table,
15:32 he's gonna bring his seasoning to the table.
15:34 Absolutely. Absolutely.
15:36 I think remaining culturally relevant
15:39 is very important
15:40 and the only way we can do that
15:42 is by being culturally knowledgeable...
15:44 Yeah.
15:46 Culturally informed, culturally educated.
15:48 As Christian fathers,
15:50 we have to be careful that we are not to...
15:54 You used the word exclusive, inclusive.
15:57 A lot of us, we have a sense of dominant culture,
16:00 which of course is ours.
16:02 So, you know,
16:04 you tell your child something like,
16:05 "Oh, we don't do it like that in here,
16:07 you know, where you get that from?
16:10 You know, we don't do it like that."
16:11 You know, whatever form of authority
16:14 you're gonna express.
16:15 You have to be careful with that.
16:18 Learn to use Facebook, learn to text,
16:23 you know, at least learn those things,
16:26 learn some form of social media
16:28 to communicate with your children.
16:31 That's the way they communicate, okay,
16:33 send them a text message.
16:34 You know, it made no sense to me that...
16:36 I remember the first day, phone buzzes,
16:40 pick up the phone, it's my daughter Avia,
16:41 "Dad, how come blah, blah, blah."
16:44 I was like,
16:45 "Didn't I just hear your voice?
16:47 Aren't you in the house?
16:49 Avia!"
16:50 Then I hear from way,
16:52 you know, another floor over the couple of rooms like,
16:53 "Yes!"
16:55 "Why you texting me, child, you're in the house?
16:57 Still she was texting.
16:58 If you got something to ask me, come ask me."
17:02 You know, but I learned,
17:03 hey, that's the way they communicate.
17:05 She doesn't want to leave her bedroom,
17:07 she can easily just send a text message to me.
17:09 So I learned to communicate by text with her also,
17:11 these things are important,
17:12 and as I'm saying also even as it pertains
17:15 to the civil culture within which we function,
17:19 we must learn and understand it.
17:20 This issue that I mentioned earlier of culture
17:23 and discipline is a very serious one.
17:26 So churches also, we as fathers,
17:28 need to do our best to educate our congregations
17:32 and our communities
17:34 on how to understand and how to function
17:37 within those cultural norms.
17:39 Yeah.
17:40 And I like that because you brought something
17:41 a question to my mind that,
17:43 you know, I can be like that,
17:45 that's not how we do it back in Puerto Rico.
17:47 You know, and part of it is
17:49 because I see what the world's coming to,
17:51 what these young people are coming to,
17:53 you know, where CPS is called if you discipline them,
17:58 and if you spank them and it's not a feather,
18:01 then everybody gets mad,
18:03 you know, and just so many different things culturally
18:06 that I just...
18:08 Man, it just makes me angry, like, leave me alone.
18:11 Leave me alone, let me raise my children
18:13 the way I want to raise my children,
18:14 but, you know, you brought up a good question
18:17 that I think we can generalize it
18:19 to the church in general.
18:22 How do we adapt without compromising?
18:27 As fathers, as a church, as pastors,
18:30 how do we adapt to a culture, you know, and change up?
18:35 As they say, you know,
18:37 you have a different methods of delivery
18:40 through the years, they've changed,
18:41 the contents of the package hasn't changed,
18:44 but the way it's delivered has changed,
18:46 and it seems like a lot of times,
18:48 both in church and outside a church,
18:50 we seem to be stuck in the same delivery method
18:54 which is no longer functional at times.
18:56 So how do we adapt without compromise?
18:59 Yes, yes.
19:01 Being culturally relative
19:03 without compromising biblical principle.
19:07 You know, I think God through His Holy Spirit...
19:10 If you and I have a close relationship with God,
19:13 if we have a daily relationship with Him,
19:15 there's much of that
19:16 that the Holy Spirit will give to us,
19:19 the Holy Spirit will also teach us
19:21 new languages of communication, new forms of communication,
19:26 that's part of our general growth
19:28 and development
19:29 and we really should not be resistant to that.
19:33 I think it's helpful for us to the men's ministry
19:37 is another significant
19:39 one within our churches where as men,
19:41 we can get together and we can discuss these things
19:44 using the church as a forum in some sense,
19:49 Denry mentioned earlier,
19:50 I think you were referring to like AY programs
19:52 if I'm not mistaken.
19:53 You know, but having these type of workshops
19:55 within the church, whether it's AY,
19:56 whether it's on a Sunday,
19:58 just providing this education to the general public
20:01 and to the church population is also helpful,
20:05 but I think what retards the process
20:09 is this fear and insecurity
20:11 that I cannot be culturally relevant
20:14 and at the same time be biblical,
20:16 and that's not true,
20:17 that's not the model that Christ gave us either.
20:21 I think Christ did very well to interact.
20:24 Ellen White uses the term mingle,
20:26 but He took time to know individuals,
20:29 to understand their cultural mindset,
20:31 and then He spoke back to them in their language,
20:34 in their cultural language.
20:36 So I think we have to do the same in our homes,
20:38 with our children,
20:40 you've got to learn your child's cultural language
20:42 or your children's cultural language
20:43 and speak it back to them.
20:45 Yes.
20:46 It's still the gospel you're sharing with them,
20:48 but you're speaking in a different language.
20:50 Yes, you know, the danger is when you worded down
20:55 someone else's culture and make your culture superior.
21:00 You know, when one superiority over the other,
21:03 that's going to cause a war, so you don't cause confusion.
21:06 You know, I find with my young people,
21:08 they are looking for culture.
21:11 They're looking for culture,
21:13 they're gonna look for it in the music,
21:15 they're going to look for it in a celebrity,
21:17 they're looking for culture.
21:18 You know why?
21:19 Because culture also brews values.
21:22 Going back to my analogy with the seasonings.
21:24 There are some seasonings that are not good...
21:26 Mm-hmm.
21:28 You know, maybe, you know, they're so in your culture,
21:30 you should look and say, "Okay,
21:31 what things in my culture are not gonna help
21:34 my child's spirituality?"
21:36 Okay?
21:38 "My child is not going to grow in my culture."
21:40 So if it's a black pepper,
21:41 "Okay, we're not going to use black pepper no more,
21:43 but we have cayenne pepper in our culture,
21:46 so let's use that."
21:47 You see what I'm saying?
21:48 What are the things in my culture
21:50 that's gonna help bring my child closer to Christ?
21:54 What are the things in my culture that
21:56 that brings value to families?
21:58 You know, some of our cultures...
22:00 I love Hispanic cultures
22:02 in the sense that they love to come together
22:05 no matter what they're doing at the end of the day,
22:07 have beans and rice together,
22:09 you know, and the whole family is there.
22:11 I'll never forget,
22:12 we went to someplace else in Central America, right?
22:16 Right next to Costa Rica,
22:18 and it was breakfast, it was what?
22:20 Breakfast.
22:22 The whole family was there, the aunts, the uncles,
22:24 the grandma, grandpa, uncles, dad, children, everybody,
22:28 and everybody participated in making breakfast.
22:32 That was so dynamic.
22:33 I went back to America, got me a toast,
22:36 you know, and cream cheese,
22:38 you know, and everybody is rushing
22:40 in and out to go to work.
22:42 So there are things in our cultures
22:44 that are essence,
22:46 are flavors to help our spiritual growth,
22:49 and those are the things we need to with our children,
22:51 not just AY,
22:52 but I was also talking about Sundays
22:54 and, you know, having just some bonding
22:57 to different people of different cultures.
22:59 Appreciate different people's cultures
23:02 and that will help
23:03 because your children are always looking,
23:05 "What can I pass on?
23:07 I want to be like my dad. I want to be like my mom.
23:10 And then when I get older,
23:11 I would like to pass on something to my children."
23:14 So give them the good flavor of our culture
23:16 to help their spirituality.
23:18 We like avocados too.
23:20 Don't forget that. Yeah, we like it too.
23:22 We like the avocado
23:24 with a little bit of adobo right there.
23:25 Yes, sir. Amen.
23:28 Xavier, we were talking about role distinction
23:30 a little earlier also,
23:31 which I think is of great importance.
23:35 And I'm not too keen on stripping families
23:39 of their cultural understanding of their role distinction
23:43 because those things
23:45 are a part of a tightly woven fiber often
23:48 and if you try to undo it too much,
23:51 then everything just becomes like,
23:54 you know, loose yarn.
23:55 So for the family to remain a unit
23:58 and to remain secure as a unit,
24:00 it's often important that we respect those norms.
24:04 So if your culture
24:06 is such that only men put the garbage out
24:11 or only men lift heavy objects or only men do shopping
24:16 or whatever it may be or only men do dishes,
24:20 then if that's of value to you, that's fine.
24:25 I think you can still maintain those practices
24:28 or that role distinction
24:31 and yet remain centered within Christian principle,
24:37 even for the migrant population.
24:39 We've had a shift
24:41 wherein most women
24:44 are who satisfied the initial migration pool
24:47 to the US.
24:48 My mom came to the US in about 1968,
24:51 her younger sister, my aunt, came in the earlier 60s,
24:55 but it was mainly women
24:56 and this was a result
24:57 of the US facing sequential wars,
25:01 you know, we had World War II,
25:03 then Korea War, Vietnam War,
25:06 hope I have the order correctly,
25:07 but it depleted the female civil resource
25:11 within the United States.
25:13 So women were no longer teachers
25:15 and customer services,
25:17 and a lot of them went and worked in the factories.
25:19 So once the war was done
25:21 and the US societies now redeveloping,
25:23 the community is rebuilding itself,
25:25 there was this void of females to satisfy civil service roles,
25:28 and so the US opened its migration port
25:31 and influx thousands of Caribbean women
25:34 because they were English speaking
25:36 and they were right there and they were skilled
25:38 and licensed etcetera, etcetera.
25:39 Most of the men got left behind,
25:41 the men came after,
25:43 and then they had to kind of do catch up.
25:45 So a lot of our homes had matriarchs,
25:49 females taking the leading role.
25:51 And sometimes,
25:53 you're forced to do things like that
25:55 to adapt to a new cultural environment
25:58 or a new society
25:59 and you have to be malleable or flexible enough
26:02 to embrace these things
26:03 while yet remembering your Christian commitment
26:08 and biblical principle, but it can be done.
26:11 Yeah, it sounds like,
26:13 you know, like multicultural fatherhood
26:16 is one of like when you're cooking
26:18 a big meal, you know, it's almost,
26:21 I think, a heaven,
26:22 you know, because everybody's bringing
26:24 something different to the table,
26:26 but we can all feast on something great
26:29 if we just come together.
26:30 Yes.
26:32 And I think that's the most critical part
26:33 as fathers is coming together, acknowledging that, you know...
26:38 But we can't do it alone. We can't do it alone.
26:40 We have to do it together and just bring to the table
26:43 what you got.
26:44 You know, and work on what we need
26:46 and what we have
26:47 and just really look to Christ to bind us together.
26:51 And for the audience that's viewing,
26:53 you know, there's always that what if factor,
27:00 that question, that confusion
27:03 or, you know,
27:04 maybe you're from a different country,
27:05 you're brand new to this country,
27:08 you know, maybe there's some apprehension,
27:10 maybe you're just mad as a father
27:12 because you see the way the world is going
27:14 and this is not how we did it back in my day.
27:17 Well, a lot of us have those same thoughts,
27:19 but we've got to come to realize that,
27:21 yeah, it's not like back in our day, it's today.
27:24 You know, but just like Christ,
27:27 rise above and change the cultural norm
27:32 and adapt without compromising.
27:34 We too can do the same thing for our children
27:36 to show our children
27:38 the ability to be inclusive of all cultures,
27:42 not exclusive,
27:43 while at the same time holding tight
27:46 to that foundation that only Christ can give,
27:49 and that is such an important part for you
27:51 as a father to contribute to your child.
27:53 Please step up, step out and do your role as a father.
27:57 Thank you.


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Revised 2020-10-06