Series Code: AFH
Program Code: AFH000026A
00:01 A good father takes time to play.
00:05 He has strong integrity.
00:08 He is someone that is truly dedicated.
00:12 He is not afraid to show his love.
00:15 He is a caring provider.
00:19 And he is a kind spiritual leader.
00:23 These are just a few ways to describe A Father's Heart.
00:32 Hi, and welcome to A Father's Heart.
00:34 I am your host Xavier,
00:35 and today we're gonna be discussing
00:37 how do your sons treat their wives
00:39 if you yourself never had a father in your life.
00:43 And at the same time,
00:44 how did the wives treat their husbands
00:46 if your daughters never had a father to show them.
00:50 And with me to discuss that
00:52 is going to be my friend Gordon
00:54 and my lovely wife Brittany Hill-Morales.
00:57 How are you today? I'm doing well, doing good.
01:00 So you know, one of the things that I always think about is
01:05 if your son and you,
01:08 you know, have this great relationship
01:10 but you in yourself never had a father
01:12 to have that relationship with,
01:14 how do you teach your son how to treat his wife,
01:16 and at the same time, if you, you know, as my wife,
01:19 if you never had a father in your life to show you
01:23 how to treat your husband, how does that work?
01:26 I think the first thing,
01:27 I mean, for me is to have that counseling,
01:32 a premarital counseling and hopefully
01:34 you have a good pastor
01:36 or a counselor that teaches you these things
01:38 that takes you through the process
01:40 so that when you were solid,
01:42 then you can pass on what you know
01:45 because you really can't share what you don't know.
01:47 But it starts
01:49 with that premarital counseling,
01:51 and I think that's a very important part of,
01:54 you know, just being able to get the tools
01:56 that you need.
01:57 There're so many tools out there,
01:59 there's so much stuff out there
02:00 that you yourself can go seek in as to how do I,
02:04 you know, how do I teach my child,
02:07 how do I teach myself how to be a better husband,
02:10 how so that I can help my son
02:13 and my daughter find the right spouse.
02:15 I'll tell you for us,
02:17 well, I go via biblical on this one,
02:20 and this way is that for my son for him to find a good wife,
02:24 it's got to come to your mother and father.
02:27 We're looking for that.
02:28 We are actively looking for a spouse
02:33 or for spouses for my children.
02:35 And they know this from small.
02:37 And we make no excuses
02:39 that you are not brining anyone here
02:40 unless they're part of the family,
02:43 they mesh with the family.
02:45 So we're involved, my son said to me, "Well, Dad?
02:48 Can I at least choose?" I said, "Yeah, you can choose.
02:53 Bring that individual,
02:55 and then they will get the stamp of approval.
02:57 If they don't get the stamp of approval,
02:59 it's not gonna work."
03:00 So that's just some of the things
03:02 that we do so that
03:04 we can help them navigate life and future.
03:08 If you bring somebody in the family and they're not,
03:11 you know, they don't mesh nicely
03:13 with the family,
03:14 it could create a lot of problem,
03:16 lot of tension.
03:17 So that's one of the things that we want to do,
03:19 we're trying to do with our children.
03:21 I don't know if you have something to add.
03:23 I do in regards to how do you teach,
03:27 the fathers teaching their daughters
03:30 what they should expect.
03:32 I think the first thing that needs to happen is
03:35 you have to ask God.
03:37 If you are a spiritual father, spiritual leader,
03:40 even as a mother, you have to go to God
03:43 and talk to Him personally,
03:44 and when I say ask God, I am saying,
03:47 search in the scriptures 'cause that is good,
03:49 but we have a thing where we don't talk to God.
03:53 We do every other thing
03:55 but we don't actually sit down and say,
03:57 "Lord, this is what's going on in my heart.
03:59 This is the issue."
04:00 And actually pray and listen back to hear
04:03 what God has to say to have
04:04 that personal relationship with Him.
04:06 So that's the first thing to ask God.
04:08 And in that, when you're asking God
04:11 with the presence of your daughter there,
04:14 you're teaching her three things.
04:16 First thing is, you're teaching her
04:18 how to pray for her spouse.
04:21 And that's something
04:23 that doesn't just naturally come,
04:24 they have to experience and learn that,
04:26 how do you pray for your spouse.
04:27 The next thing, you're teaching them
04:29 how to pray with a man, with a person.
04:33 There are so much dirty things going on in this world
04:38 that people are abusing the power
04:40 and the beauty of prayer.
04:42 That as a father
04:43 when you are talking to your child and both
04:46 of you are going to God about this relationship
04:48 that hasn't happened yet, or even though it has happened,
04:51 you are teaching her, okay, this is what prayer,
04:54 one of the principles to look like.
04:56 And the third thing, you're also teaching her
04:59 what does it mean to have someone else
05:00 to pray over me.
05:01 Because again, in case of spiritual abuse,
05:05 there're some men
05:07 that when they're praying over their wife, they say,
05:08 "Lord, help her to learn how to submit to me."
05:12 "The Lord, help her learn how to cook better."
05:14 Well, you know, those are things
05:16 that could work.
05:17 But she, from that experience,
05:19 she may not have had a father to teach you that
05:22 but as the father, you can be able to say,
05:24 "Okay, this is the three things
05:25 that I'm trying to show you by us praying."
05:28 Using prayer, asking God
05:29 as that separate thing to be like, this is important.
05:31 Teach her that God is important.
05:33 For God to be the center of their relationship,
05:36 you have to show
05:37 that from the beginning as having God as the center
05:39 of your relationship as a father and a daughter,
05:40 father and a son too.
05:42 I think that is important.
05:44 I agree with Brittany
05:45 that prayer is an important key.
05:48 If you are not modeling,
05:49 we talked about this previously,
05:51 if you as a father not modeling that,
05:52 that child wouldn't know how to model a prayer,
05:56 and yes, being able to pray for a spouse for your child,
06:02 and have your child,
06:03 your son or your daughter see and hear you pray it
06:07 because it's one thing to be on your knees just praying,
06:10 but they need to hear the prayers,
06:12 they need to hear the prayers and devotion,
06:14 they need to hear it throughout,
06:15 you know, their life growing up and they know,
06:17 "My dad and my mom,
06:19 they're praying for me to have this spouse.
06:22 So in other words, they're praying for my success
06:25 in life for my future spouse."
06:28 You know, I appreciate that in something you said earlier.
06:31 I appreciate your involvement with your son
06:33 because you know, I went through different relationships
06:36 that I could have avoided,
06:39 you know, because your parents
06:40 don't want to be overbearing because you are an adult.
06:42 But at the same time,
06:44 they don't know how to approach.
06:45 And I think it's key to have that balance with your child
06:48 to know that,
06:49 "Hey, I'm not gonna control you.
06:51 But I am going to be involved.
06:53 Not because you don't know
06:54 but because I've been here longer.
06:56 So I have an understanding, and I want the best for you."
06:59 And I think as the father, you know, when my parents got,
07:02 you know, when I got the stamp of approval with my wife now,
07:07 it meant the world to me because you know,
07:10 they've been married for 40 years.
07:12 And to get the stamp of approval,
07:15 which I never had before, it just meant the world
07:17 because I know it's coming from people
07:19 that have been there to understand that
07:21 and knowing which one's the best.
07:23 You know, but let's throw on the flipside, as ministers,
07:29 what or as counselors, however you want to call it,
07:32 how do you deal with a child,
07:34 somebody adult that's coming to you,
07:38 I don't know your backgrounds as far as if you know,
07:41 your dad's involvement in your life,
07:43 how do you deal with, let's say my wife,
07:45 how do you deal with a woman that's coming to you
07:48 who hasn't had a father in her life
07:50 and she wants to know
07:52 how do I even know if I have the right guy,
07:53 how do I treat my husband.
07:56 I don't know, my father was never there.
07:58 I don't know what to do, and I'm praying,
08:00 I'm doing what I can, but I just don't know.
08:05 Go ahead. Go ahead. Okay, I'll go head first.
08:08 Well, the first step is the fact
08:09 that she came and she said something,
08:11 and being able to admit
08:13 that you don't know is an important first step.
08:17 That's one thing, as you said as counselors,
08:20 is that challenging area when we have clients
08:23 and patients is them not being able to admit
08:25 that there's a problem and you are seeing the problem.
08:28 So that's a beautiful,
08:30 green flat great, green light great.
08:34 But how should she approach it is again,
08:37 you know, asking God, speaking to God,
08:39 and having that relationship
08:40 if she's a person of the Christian faith.
08:44 Seeking the scriptures,
08:46 the different sort of advice I would probably give
08:50 is based on the different levels
08:51 of research,
08:52 I will probably reference a few different resources
08:55 because marriage professionals,
08:58 marriage or family fare professionals,
09:00 they have done so much research that's gone for over 100 years,
09:04 over 100 years,
09:05 on the different keys to a relationship
09:08 and helping it to be successful.
09:10 So like, don't be afraid to go into this to listen.
09:14 The new things that I am learning everyday
09:17 that's helping our relationship,
09:19 there are new things
09:21 that are just developing and one thing
09:25 I would most likely tell her is this.
09:28 You have to accept the reality of sin.
09:32 You cannot ignore that sin is a factor
09:35 in each and every one of our lives
09:37 including herself and including in her spouse
09:41 or her significant other person that she is working with.
09:44 We hear all these list of great qualities in a person.
09:47 They should be this, they should be that,
09:49 they should be this, they should be that.
09:51 But that may not be
09:53 where your significant other is.
09:56 And you have to accept the reality
09:58 that sin has marred our nature and the ability
10:01 that we should have and yes, you should want certain things,
10:05 but you have to accept that he's not going to be there
10:07 or it might take a few years, and also you have to accept
10:10 that you have to work together in that journey.
10:14 As a pastor and a family life educator,
10:17 one of the things that I do is to help people to go
10:20 the scriptures for references,
10:22 and not only that, look at Titus,
10:25 what is the role of the older woman
10:28 in the church.
10:29 The older woman is to teach the younger woman.
10:32 And so I connect them with a strong couple
10:36 that has been through,
10:38 and I do this on a regular basis.
10:40 So I will connect the younger couples
10:42 with older couples so that they can help them.
10:44 Or a younger person that is looking to get married
10:48 or if their marriage are in trouble,
10:50 connect them with an older couple
10:52 that they can help them, they can talk with them,
10:54 they can mentor them.
10:55 It is one of the pivotal things I believe that we need to do
11:00 and keep doing to help our young ladies and young men,
11:06 help them find the right spouse,
11:08 help them develop strong,
11:10 healthy relationships is by being able to put them
11:14 alongside a couple.
11:16 I believe that the Bible has given us
11:18 some strong counsel on this
11:21 is that the older should teach the younger.
11:24 And I think why we're so messed up
11:26 is because we've missed that.
11:28 You see, I agree with that and that's one of the things
11:31 that I wanted to talk about a little more is we've,
11:36 I have my dad model his life, you know, around my mom.
11:41 I would watch them interact
11:43 and you know, in a society in Puerto Rico, socially,
11:46 you grow up in a patriarchal setting
11:48 where the wife does everything, cooking, cleaning,
11:52 and but my mom and dad were not about that.
11:55 My mom said you need to be able
11:57 because what if your wife gets sick.
11:59 You got to be able to cook. You know, what if she is tired?
12:03 She shouldn't be able to do everything.
12:04 My dad would say,
12:05 "Boy, but get in that kitchen and start cleaning and cooking.
12:08 You know, get my bug
12:10 and I'll show you what a man does."
12:11 And I am like, "Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I'll go. I'll go."
12:13 You know, I had to learn both spectrums of,
12:17 but looking at their relationship
12:18 and how they communicated
12:19 and how they grew together, they went through,
12:21 it was a period in time where they were going
12:23 to get divorced.
12:24 But something that they engrained in me
12:27 that I never understood until now was that what saved
12:31 their marriage aside from prayer
12:32 was the friendship
12:34 that they had at the beginning as friends,
12:36 before they got married, they were a long time friends.
12:39 And I had the benefit of having that modeling in my life
12:43 even though I chose to go on different route.
12:46 I took the scenic route to get to the right place.
12:49 What about you?
12:50 Did you have that modeling from your father in your life?
12:54 I had the modeling from my father in my life.
12:57 So it was easy for me.
12:59 But along the line, I've seen
13:02 the side effects of not having it.
13:05 For example, I just get to share
13:06 two quick stories with you guys.
13:08 My sister, when she got married,
13:11 I could remember as yesterday.
13:13 My dad and my mom saying
13:14 this in the right person for you,
13:17 trying to help her,
13:19 but she decided, "You know what?
13:21 Get him for me because he pleased me well."
13:24 And marriage did not work. Things did not end up well.
13:30 So even though you may model something
13:33 for your child,
13:34 that child sometimes chooses their own route in life
13:38 and it ends up sometimes not the best.
13:42 So in my life, my father and my mother been married
13:45 all their lives until my father passed away,
13:49 there the marriage was a commuter relationship,
13:51 commuter marriage 'cause my father worked away,
13:53 and then, you know, he will come home on weekend
13:55 but when he was home, he was present, he was there,
13:59 he was not a father
14:00 that was not there when he was there.
14:02 So the model I saw how he drew,
14:04 I have never seen my mother and my father argue once,
14:10 never in all the years of my life.
14:12 So and same thing.
14:15 I try not to have arguments with my wife.
14:17 I mean, we don't have any arguments.
14:19 Well, it's just amazing before we had arguments
14:22 because on the flipside my wife did not have that modeling
14:28 as a father and her mother was her friend.
14:33 It was a chaotic.
14:35 You know, it ended up not nice, chaotic results.
14:39 So modeling is important.
14:43 And so right now,
14:44 the balance that we have to have in our home
14:48 because of her spectrum and my spectrum
14:50 is that we merge these two things together
14:52 and they end up beautiful because she knows
14:54 that I don't want to be a friend to my children.
14:57 I'm their mother,
14:58 so I'm gonna carry on that role.
15:01 And what she had to do is that she went
15:03 through counseling for years
15:06 to correct some of our ideologies,
15:10 the brokenness that she experienced.
15:14 And I was there as the husband to stand with her and help her
15:20 through her process.
15:21 I didn't get in the process. I just stand with her.
15:24 So on both sides, I've seen and experienced,
15:27 you know, what it means to have a father in your life
15:31 even though he wasn't seven days a week
15:35 but when he was there, he was in the relationship.
15:38 And so my choice was a little different
15:42 than my wife on the flip side.
15:44 She didn't have the same.
15:47 What about you?
15:49 I'm just thinking about you
15:51 saying the importance of counseling
15:52 and having that moment to correct wrong ideologies,
15:57 and I also hear there was a process in it.
16:01 It's not something that happened overnight
16:03 and that's one thing
16:05 as parents to train your child to realize
16:09 things don't happen overnight.
16:12 It's a process, it's a journey.
16:14 And you have to figure out if you're willing to deal
16:17 with these certain elements in the journey.
16:20 And it's difficult skill to accept for yourself
16:23 and then to teach your child.
16:25 This is the reality of life, honey.
16:27 He may not be perfect.
16:29 He may have his own background, his own understanding,
16:33 his own thing, but you have to work through it.
16:35 And I think one important element
16:37 as parents is you have to accept that.
16:43 So when your child comes and says,
16:45 "Well, so and so has this ideology."
16:47 "Oh, I know you should have never married that."
16:49 You cannot act like that. Right, right, right, right.
16:51 You have to accept that reality
16:53 and be supportive and realize that it's no longer your baby.
16:59 This is a grown married adult now.
17:02 And the information, the wisdom,
17:04 the guidance that you give,
17:05 you have to give from that perspective of,
17:07 "Yes, in my heart, you're still my little baby.
17:09 My little..."
17:10 But that's not what's happening right now.
17:12 They're an adult
17:13 and you have to allow them to figure out
17:16 what is their cup of tea
17:18 because you might look at your friends first
17:21 and you'd be like, "Oh that should be..."
17:22 No, that's not their cup of tea,
17:24 that's not their cup to bear,
17:25 that's not what they should be in their relationship.
17:26 We have to let them figure it out for themselves,
17:29 and be that support as their parent to figure out
17:32 what exactly is it that they need to have
17:34 in their relationship
17:36 and allow them to struggle a little bit.
17:38 As parents, we don't want our kids to struggle.
17:39 We want to get it perfectly.
17:41 We want to have a great spouse,
17:42 going to marry that person to the day you die.
17:45 But they may have someone who are always on the path
17:47 and you have to learn how to encourage
17:48 and support and to lift up.
17:50 I don't plan to be in my children
17:52 and I agree with you.
17:53 I don't plan to be in my children's life,
17:56 you know, navigate in every step of the way.
17:59 They're going to have to learn.
18:00 They're gonna have to get some...
18:02 But I do say this
18:03 and I'm very straight with this point.
18:06 If we don't agree with it, I'm not in it.
18:12 If we agree with the marriage
18:13 and we agree with who we are signing off,
18:15 we get our blessings, when you need us we're there,
18:19 but we're not there to navigate your life all the way.
18:21 And I'm just very, very plain with that.
18:24 I believe that parents, we're gonna always be parents.
18:27 We'll never stop being a parent to our children.
18:29 But we need to give them the space
18:31 in their marriage to grow
18:32 and you know, to experience the bumps.
18:35 But you cannot allow them, you can't, I mean,
18:38 have them go through that if you yourself on that hole.
18:43 And a lot of problems we have is that
18:45 we are broken and as parents,
18:47 we're not coming with the grips,
18:49 we're not willing to come to grips
18:50 with our brokenness.
18:52 And so we have a broken parent
18:55 trying to parent broken children.
18:58 So the whole system is broken. So only God can help us.
19:02 And so we've got to come back
19:03 to what we are just talking prayer
19:05 and put them in the hands of God
19:07 and putting ourselves in hands of God,
19:09 and being open and plain and honest with ourselves.
19:12 And I think that's critical,
19:14 you know, when I see so many different spectrums,
19:16 you know, you have mentored young men
19:20 that don't have a father,
19:22 and they don't know what to do next.
19:23 I've also talked to women
19:25 whose fathers weren't in their lives
19:28 and they just, you know, you can see
19:29 that they want to do better, but they just don't know how.
19:33 And I think it's important for all of us
19:34 that have any type of experience
19:39 whatever the case may be,
19:40 to have that understanding that,
19:42 you know, it's critical, and I know for my girls,
19:45 for our daughters,
19:48 you know, I'm very much against the notion
19:52 that they're going to get married
19:53 when they, I'm not gonna lie.
19:55 I know what you mean.
19:56 I say to them,
19:58 you know, you're going to get married
19:59 to the prince of peace one day.
20:00 Or you got to do is wait till he comes back.
20:02 That's the bedtime story. I'm with you there.
20:05 You know, I'm like,
20:06 that's just the notion of my daughters growing up,
20:09 the notion of them falling in love
20:11 and having a boyfriend and getting married.
20:14 That just, it bothers me. It bothers me.
20:17 But it's reality.
20:19 And one of the things that I've done
20:20 is just to really be involved
20:22 and become a better father, become a better man,
20:26 so they know that how a man is supposed to treat them,
20:30 and I think that's so critical,
20:32 you know, there are so many dads out there
20:33 that are not involved, and even then, when...
20:38 I have relatives
20:39 whose dad is not in their lives.
20:40 You know, they're women.
20:42 They're grown women.
20:43 And there may be times
20:45 that even though they're adults,
20:46 they want to call, "Dad.
20:49 Hey, I have a question for you."
20:50 You know, just ideas,
20:51 just, you know, bouncing back ideas
20:53 from your father.
20:54 And I'm just, it frustrates me to the oddest extent
20:59 when I see women, grown women who tell me,
21:02 "My father is not..."
21:04 What is wrong with you man?
21:07 Like you're big enough to procreate.
21:10 Be big enough to be in your daughter's life.
21:13 She's innocent. But she didn't do anything.
21:14 She didn't ask to be here. God blessed her to be here.
21:18 It is your job to step up.
21:20 I don't care what the excuse is.
21:22 Do you know what you're doing? None of us do.
21:24 But it's not a matter of knowing
21:26 what we were doing.
21:27 It is a matter of knowing who to go to,
21:28 who knows what he's doing, and that's Jesus Christ.
21:31 And I think that's important,
21:33 you know, and just really equipping our members
21:36 because we're going
21:37 to have church members like that.
21:39 And have you had any experience with church members like that?
21:41 You know, I've had many experiences like that.
21:45 I can recall one.
21:47 And I would tell the father, "Listen.
21:49 This is your baby girl.
21:52 And you need to date your baby girl
21:54 so that she can see how a man need to treat her.
21:57 Bring her a rose one day."
21:59 And so I'm trying to correct
22:02 some things in his life to help him
22:05 be a better parent to his child.
22:07 The brokenness, the pain in the daughter's eyes.
22:10 I remember she was just crying.
22:13 Why because that bond wasn't there.
22:18 My daughter Jasmine,
22:20 she is the light of my life, you know?
22:23 And I'm watching her 17,
22:26 going on 18, and I'm saying, "You know what?
22:30 This is not a good times.
22:34 Because I know that you're going to have
22:36 to leave home one day."
22:38 But I'm going to make sure that when you leave home,
22:41 you have all the tools
22:43 that when we'll help you choose,
22:46 that will be the right person
22:47 because her dad bring her a rose,
22:50 her dad snap chats with her.
22:52 We would snap chat and I don't know
22:53 what I'm doing but I'm doing it.
22:56 You know, we're doing,
22:57 I'll call this because this is what
22:58 they are doing.
23:00 So that is there with you.
23:02 So she knows that that I am there.
23:04 And I think that is so important for us
23:06 to let our, you know, let our daughters that,
23:09 "Listen, when I find a man,
23:12 that man's got to be better than my father.
23:15 Treat me better than my father."
23:17 I agree.
23:18 "Even look better than my father."
23:21 What about you?
23:23 I think that's a very, very valid point of modeling
23:27 and showing exactly what they should look like.
23:31 And but in different specs, as you said,
23:33 there are some fathers
23:34 who just never had the experience.
23:38 So they don't know how to teach their son
23:40 or how to teach their daughter, what it is to expect,
23:43 that's how we're talked about earlier.
23:44 You know, asking God, searching the scriptures,
23:46 searching, reading up
23:49 on different resources, podcasts, sermons,
23:53 all these different things
23:55 just to learn more on what it is to expect.
24:01 It's challenging
24:03 because every bond relationship
24:04 is so different.
24:06 And you don't want your child to have any heartache.
24:10 You don't want your child have any pain.
24:12 But they have to have heartache,
24:13 and they have to have pain.
24:15 And it's a very difficult balance
24:17 to try to figure out
24:18 how do I accept this as the reality.
24:21 And when it comes to young girls,
24:25 what to expect from their father.
24:27 There's some controversy against dating.
24:29 They think that some women have said
24:31 they don't want their fathers.
24:33 They want their children's fathers
24:34 to date their daughters.
24:36 They don't want that type of relationship.
24:37 And there's that a lot of controversy
24:39 and that's one of things
24:40 of how should you date your daughter.
24:44 What does that look like?
24:46 For me, look, what it is is that we go out together.
24:51 We have what she wants.
24:53 She likes to go to Fire and Ice,
24:55 we go to Fire and Ice together.
24:57 And we talk.
24:58 We talk about life, we talk about different issues.
25:01 And we come back home, we have to go up,
25:03 and do the same with my son.
25:05 This is spending time,
25:06 spending the quality time together.
25:08 Night from since they were babies,
25:10 I would be, you know, we would exchange,
25:12 her mom and I.
25:13 We would go in the room, we would talk to the one
25:15 and then I leave while my wife is talking to the son,
25:18 and then we'll flip.
25:19 So it's different ways to do it.
25:22 When I bring a rose to my daughter,
25:23 you know, just for you, to assure, to give,
25:27 let her know that her dad values.
25:30 I've got, you know, I love her, I care for her,
25:33 and I do the same for my son.
25:34 So that's what it looks like to me.
25:36 I've read
25:38 all of the different thoughts on it
25:41 but I still think it is important for the child
25:44 to know that her father or his father values.
25:49 And it's important, it's for and to.
25:50 You know, we're gearing up but it's interesting.
25:56 My five year old daughter, she was leaving the school,
26:00 little daycare, and this little boy comes
26:02 to the fence and says, "Andrea, Andrea.
26:05 Where are you going? Can I have a kiss?"
26:07 I turned around, I said, "Boy. Let me tell you something.
26:10 You go and kiss your mom and dad that's what I said,
26:14 Lord, keep me, Lord, keep me right now.
26:18 Lord, keep me right now, boy. But it's fun interacting
26:20 and having seen your children grow.
26:22 And I think that's key for any relationship.
26:26 Is there anything else you want to add
26:27 in the last little bit we have?
26:29 I just want to add briefly is that
26:32 I think it's very important for fathers
26:33 to step up and take a more,
26:36 even though your life has been broken, you can learn,
26:40 there's resources, learn.
26:43 Learn as much as you can
26:45 to fill those gaps that you can pass on something
26:48 valuable to your children.
26:50 Model, model prayer, model how to treat your wives,
26:55 make sure that they're seeing the hug and kiss
26:57 and loving their mothers.
26:59 It's a great thing.
27:01 My daughter will come
27:02 and she'll sit in the middle of us
27:04 so that she, and it's fun.
27:05 So you got to model these things to them.
27:08 And for the...
27:09 I appreciate everything you've done
27:11 and now unfortunately, we're out of time.
27:13 So got to let the brother know out there,
27:16 you guys, you know.
27:19 Just remember, being a father is never easy
27:21 whether you've had the model parents
27:23 or you've had no father in your life.
27:26 But it's still no excuse for you not to step up.
27:29 Nowadays they're so many resources
27:31 out there available to you
27:33 to educate you and guess what?
27:35 Even though I'm married to my lovely wife
27:37 and we have two wonderful kids,
27:39 I still don't know what I'm doing.
27:41 And that's just the fact of it.
27:43 It is about growing together with your children
27:46 and having fun
27:47 because these are memories you will never get back.
27:51 So please be part of your kids' lives.
27:53 Stop making excuses.
27:55 And for you fathers
27:56 who have grown women as daughters,
27:58 step up, stop it.
28:00 Thank you for watching.