Participants:
Series Code: AFH
Program Code: AFH000026A
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00:01 A good father takes time to play.
00:05 He has strong integrity. 00:08 He is someone that is truly dedicated. 00:12 He is not afraid to show his love. 00:15 He is a caring provider. 00:19 And he is a kind spiritual leader. 00:23 These are just a few ways to describe A Father's Heart. 00:32 Hi, and welcome to A Father's Heart. 00:34 I am your host Xavier, 00:35 and today we're gonna be discussing 00:37 how do your sons treat their wives 00:39 if you yourself never had a father in your life. 00:43 And at the same time, 00:44 how did the wives treat their husbands 00:46 if your daughters never had a father to show them. 00:50 And with me to discuss that 00:52 is going to be my friend Gordon 00:54 and my lovely wife Brittany Hill-Morales. 00:57 How are you today? I'm doing well, doing good. 00:59 Awesome. 01:00 So you know, one of the things that I always think about is 01:05 if your son and you, 01:08 you know, have this great relationship 01:10 but you in yourself never had a father 01:12 to have that relationship with, 01:14 how do you teach your son how to treat his wife, 01:16 and at the same time, if you, you know, as my wife, 01:19 if you never had a father in your life to show you 01:23 how to treat your husband, how does that work? 01:26 I think the first thing, 01:27 I mean, for me is to have that counseling, 01:32 a premarital counseling and hopefully 01:34 you have a good pastor 01:36 or a counselor that teaches you these things 01:38 that takes you through the process 01:40 so that when you were solid, 01:42 then you can pass on what you know 01:45 because you really can't share what you don't know. 01:47 But it starts 01:49 with that premarital counseling, 01:51 and I think that's a very important part of, 01:54 you know, just being able to get the tools 01:56 that you need. 01:57 There're so many tools out there, 01:59 there's so much stuff out there 02:00 that you yourself can go seek in as to how do I, 02:04 you know, how do I teach my child, 02:07 how do I teach myself how to be a better husband, 02:10 how so that I can help my son 02:13 and my daughter find the right spouse. 02:15 I'll tell you for us, 02:17 well, I go via biblical on this one, 02:20 and this way is that for my son for him to find a good wife, 02:24 it's got to come to your mother and father. 02:27 We're looking for that. 02:28 We are actively looking for a spouse 02:33 or for spouses for my children. 02:35 And they know this from small. 02:37 And we make no excuses 02:39 that you are not brining anyone here 02:40 unless they're part of the family, 02:43 they mesh with the family. 02:45 So we're involved, my son said to me, "Well, Dad? 02:48 Can I at least choose?" I said, "Yeah, you can choose. 02:53 Bring that individual, 02:55 and then they will get the stamp of approval. 02:57 If they don't get the stamp of approval, 02:59 it's not gonna work." 03:00 So that's just some of the things 03:02 that we do so that 03:04 we can help them navigate life and future. 03:08 If you bring somebody in the family and they're not, 03:11 you know, they don't mesh nicely 03:13 with the family, 03:14 it could create a lot of problem, 03:16 lot of tension. 03:17 So that's one of the things that we want to do, 03:19 we're trying to do with our children. 03:21 I don't know if you have something to add. 03:23 I do in regards to how do you teach, 03:27 the fathers teaching their daughters 03:30 what they should expect. 03:32 I think the first thing that needs to happen is 03:35 you have to ask God. 03:37 If you are a spiritual father, spiritual leader, 03:40 even as a mother, you have to go to God 03:43 and talk to Him personally, 03:44 and when I say ask God, I am saying, 03:47 search in the scriptures 'cause that is good, 03:49 but we have a thing where we don't talk to God. 03:53 We do every other thing 03:55 but we don't actually sit down and say, 03:57 "Lord, this is what's going on in my heart. 03:59 This is the issue." 04:00 And actually pray and listen back to hear 04:03 what God has to say to have 04:04 that personal relationship with Him. 04:06 So that's the first thing to ask God. 04:08 And in that, when you're asking God 04:11 with the presence of your daughter there, 04:14 you're teaching her three things. 04:16 First thing is, you're teaching her 04:18 how to pray for her spouse. 04:21 And that's something 04:23 that doesn't just naturally come, 04:24 they have to experience and learn that, 04:26 how do you pray for your spouse. 04:27 The next thing, you're teaching them 04:29 how to pray with a man, with a person. 04:33 There are so much dirty things going on in this world 04:38 that people are abusing the power 04:40 and the beauty of prayer. 04:42 That as a father 04:43 when you are talking to your child and both 04:46 of you are going to God about this relationship 04:48 that hasn't happened yet, or even though it has happened, 04:51 you are teaching her, okay, this is what prayer, 04:54 one of the principles to look like. 04:56 And the third thing, you're also teaching her 04:59 what does it mean to have someone else 05:00 to pray over me. 05:01 Because again, in case of spiritual abuse, 05:05 there're some men 05:07 that when they're praying over their wife, they say, 05:08 "Lord, help her to learn how to submit to me." 05:12 "The Lord, help her learn how to cook better." 05:14 Well, you know, those are things 05:16 that could work. 05:17 But she, from that experience, 05:19 she may not have had a father to teach you that 05:22 but as the father, you can be able to say, 05:24 "Okay, this is the three things 05:25 that I'm trying to show you by us praying." 05:28 Using prayer, asking God 05:29 as that separate thing to be like, this is important. 05:31 Teach her that God is important. 05:33 For God to be the center of their relationship, 05:36 you have to show 05:37 that from the beginning as having God as the center 05:39 of your relationship as a father and a daughter, 05:40 father and a son too. 05:42 I think that is important. 05:44 I agree with Brittany 05:45 that prayer is an important key. 05:48 If you are not modeling, 05:49 we talked about this previously, 05:51 if you as a father not modeling that, 05:52 that child wouldn't know how to model a prayer, 05:56 and yes, being able to pray for a spouse for your child, 06:02 and have your child, 06:03 your son or your daughter see and hear you pray it 06:07 because it's one thing to be on your knees just praying, 06:10 but they need to hear the prayers, 06:12 they need to hear the prayers and devotion, 06:14 they need to hear it throughout, 06:15 you know, their life growing up and they know, 06:17 "My dad and my mom, 06:19 they're praying for me to have this spouse. 06:22 So in other words, they're praying for my success 06:25 in life for my future spouse." 06:28 You know, I appreciate that in something you said earlier. 06:31 I appreciate your involvement with your son 06:33 because you know, I went through different relationships 06:36 that I could have avoided, 06:39 you know, because your parents 06:40 don't want to be overbearing because you are an adult. 06:42 But at the same time, 06:44 they don't know how to approach. 06:45 And I think it's key to have that balance with your child 06:48 to know that, 06:49 "Hey, I'm not gonna control you. 06:51 But I am going to be involved. 06:53 Not because you don't know 06:54 but because I've been here longer. 06:56 So I have an understanding, and I want the best for you." 06:59 And I think as the father, you know, when my parents got, 07:02 you know, when I got the stamp of approval with my wife now, 07:07 it meant the world to me because you know, 07:10 they've been married for 40 years. 07:12 And to get the stamp of approval, 07:15 which I never had before, it just meant the world 07:17 because I know it's coming from people 07:19 that have been there to understand that 07:21 and knowing which one's the best. 07:23 You know, but let's throw on the flipside, as ministers, 07:29 what or as counselors, however you want to call it, 07:32 how do you deal with a child, 07:34 somebody adult that's coming to you, 07:38 I don't know your backgrounds as far as if you know, 07:41 your dad's involvement in your life, 07:43 how do you deal with, let's say my wife, 07:45 how do you deal with a woman that's coming to you 07:48 who hasn't had a father in her life 07:50 and she wants to know 07:52 how do I even know if I have the right guy, 07:53 how do I treat my husband. 07:56 I don't know, my father was never there. 07:58 I don't know what to do, and I'm praying, 08:00 I'm doing what I can, but I just don't know. 08:05 Go ahead. Go ahead. Okay, I'll go head first. 08:08 Well, the first step is the fact 08:09 that she came and she said something, 08:11 and being able to admit 08:13 that you don't know is an important first step. 08:17 That's one thing, as you said as counselors, 08:20 is that challenging area when we have clients 08:23 and patients is them not being able to admit 08:25 that there's a problem and you are seeing the problem. 08:28 So that's a beautiful, 08:30 green flat great, green light great. 08:34 But how should she approach it is again, 08:37 you know, asking God, speaking to God, 08:39 and having that relationship 08:40 if she's a person of the Christian faith. 08:44 Seeking the scriptures, 08:46 the different sort of advice I would probably give 08:50 is based on the different levels 08:51 of research, 08:52 I will probably reference a few different resources 08:55 because marriage professionals, 08:58 marriage or family fare professionals, 09:00 they have done so much research that's gone for over 100 years, 09:04 over 100 years, 09:05 on the different keys to a relationship 09:08 and helping it to be successful. 09:10 So like, don't be afraid to go into this to listen. 09:14 The new things that I am learning everyday 09:17 that's helping our relationship, 09:19 there are new things 09:21 that are just developing and one thing 09:25 I would most likely tell her is this. 09:28 You have to accept the reality of sin. 09:32 You cannot ignore that sin is a factor 09:35 in each and every one of our lives 09:37 including herself and including in her spouse 09:41 or her significant other person that she is working with. 09:44 We hear all these list of great qualities in a person. 09:47 They should be this, they should be that, 09:49 they should be this, they should be that. 09:51 But that may not be 09:53 where your significant other is. 09:56 And you have to accept the reality 09:58 that sin has marred our nature and the ability 10:01 that we should have and yes, you should want certain things, 10:05 but you have to accept that he's not going to be there 10:07 or it might take a few years, and also you have to accept 10:10 that you have to work together in that journey. 10:14 As a pastor and a family life educator, 10:17 one of the things that I do is to help people to go 10:20 the scriptures for references, 10:22 and not only that, look at Titus, 10:25 what is the role of the older woman 10:28 in the church. 10:29 The older woman is to teach the younger woman. 10:32 And so I connect them with a strong couple 10:36 that has been through, 10:38 and I do this on a regular basis. 10:40 So I will connect the younger couples 10:42 with older couples so that they can help them. 10:44 Or a younger person that is looking to get married 10:48 or if their marriage are in trouble, 10:50 connect them with an older couple 10:52 that they can help them, they can talk with them, 10:54 they can mentor them. 10:55 It is one of the pivotal things I believe that we need to do 11:00 and keep doing to help our young ladies and young men, 11:06 help them find the right spouse, 11:08 help them develop strong, 11:10 healthy relationships is by being able to put them 11:14 alongside a couple. 11:16 I believe that the Bible has given us 11:18 some strong counsel on this 11:21 is that the older should teach the younger. 11:24 And I think why we're so messed up 11:26 is because we've missed that. 11:28 You see, I agree with that and that's one of the things 11:31 that I wanted to talk about a little more is we've, 11:36 I have my dad model his life, you know, around my mom. 11:41 I would watch them interact 11:43 and you know, in a society in Puerto Rico, socially, 11:46 you grow up in a patriarchal setting 11:48 where the wife does everything, cooking, cleaning, 11:52 and but my mom and dad were not about that. 11:55 My mom said you need to be able 11:57 because what if your wife gets sick. 11:59 You got to be able to cook. You know, what if she is tired? 12:03 She shouldn't be able to do everything. 12:04 My dad would say, 12:05 "Boy, but get in that kitchen and start cleaning and cooking. 12:08 You know, get my bug 12:10 and I'll show you what a man does." 12:11 And I am like, "Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I'll go. I'll go." 12:13 You know, I had to learn both spectrums of, 12:17 but looking at their relationship 12:18 and how they communicated 12:19 and how they grew together, they went through, 12:21 it was a period in time where they were going 12:23 to get divorced. 12:24 But something that they engrained in me 12:27 that I never understood until now was that what saved 12:31 their marriage aside from prayer 12:32 was the friendship 12:34 that they had at the beginning as friends, 12:36 before they got married, they were a long time friends. 12:39 And I had the benefit of having that modeling in my life 12:43 even though I chose to go on different route. 12:46 I took the scenic route to get to the right place. 12:49 What about you? 12:50 Did you have that modeling from your father in your life? 12:54 I had the modeling from my father in my life. 12:57 So it was easy for me. 12:59 But along the line, I've seen 13:02 the side effects of not having it. 13:05 For example, I just get to share 13:06 two quick stories with you guys. 13:08 My sister, when she got married, 13:11 I could remember as yesterday. 13:13 My dad and my mom saying 13:14 this in the right person for you, 13:17 trying to help her, 13:19 but she decided, "You know what? 13:21 Get him for me because he pleased me well." 13:24 And marriage did not work. Things did not end up well. 13:30 So even though you may model something 13:33 for your child, 13:34 that child sometimes chooses their own route in life 13:38 and it ends up sometimes not the best. 13:42 So in my life, my father and my mother been married 13:45 all their lives until my father passed away, 13:49 there the marriage was a commuter relationship, 13:51 commuter marriage 'cause my father worked away, 13:53 and then, you know, he will come home on weekend 13:55 but when he was home, he was present, he was there, 13:59 he was not a father 14:00 that was not there when he was there. 14:02 So the model I saw how he drew, 14:04 I have never seen my mother and my father argue once, 14:10 never in all the years of my life. 14:12 So and same thing. 14:15 I try not to have arguments with my wife. 14:17 I mean, we don't have any arguments. 14:19 Well, it's just amazing before we had arguments 14:22 because on the flipside my wife did not have that modeling 14:28 as a father and her mother was her friend. 14:33 It was a chaotic. 14:35 You know, it ended up not nice, chaotic results. 14:39 So modeling is important. 14:43 And so right now, 14:44 the balance that we have to have in our home 14:48 because of her spectrum and my spectrum 14:50 is that we merge these two things together 14:52 and they end up beautiful because she knows 14:54 that I don't want to be a friend to my children. 14:57 I'm their mother, 14:58 so I'm gonna carry on that role. 15:01 And what she had to do is that she went 15:03 through counseling for years 15:06 to correct some of our ideologies, 15:10 the brokenness that she experienced. 15:14 And I was there as the husband to stand with her and help her 15:20 through her process. 15:21 I didn't get in the process. I just stand with her. 15:24 So on both sides, I've seen and experienced, 15:27 you know, what it means to have a father in your life 15:31 even though he wasn't seven days a week 15:35 but when he was there, he was in the relationship. 15:38 And so my choice was a little different 15:42 than my wife on the flip side. 15:44 She didn't have the same. 15:47 What about you? 15:49 I'm just thinking about you 15:51 saying the importance of counseling 15:52 and having that moment to correct wrong ideologies, 15:57 and I also hear there was a process in it. 16:01 It's not something that happened overnight 16:03 and that's one thing 16:05 as parents to train your child to realize 16:09 things don't happen overnight. 16:12 It's a process, it's a journey. 16:14 And you have to figure out if you're willing to deal 16:17 with these certain elements in the journey. 16:20 And it's difficult skill to accept for yourself 16:23 and then to teach your child. 16:25 This is the reality of life, honey. 16:27 He may not be perfect. 16:29 He may have his own background, his own understanding, 16:33 his own thing, but you have to work through it. 16:35 And I think one important element 16:37 as parents is you have to accept that. 16:43 So when your child comes and says, 16:45 "Well, so and so has this ideology." 16:47 "Oh, I know you should have never married that." 16:49 You cannot act like that. Right, right, right, right. 16:51 You have to accept that reality 16:53 and be supportive and realize that it's no longer your baby. 16:59 This is a grown married adult now. 17:02 And the information, the wisdom, 17:04 the guidance that you give, 17:05 you have to give from that perspective of, 17:07 "Yes, in my heart, you're still my little baby. 17:09 My little..." 17:10 But that's not what's happening right now. 17:12 They're an adult 17:13 and you have to allow them to figure out 17:16 what is their cup of tea 17:18 because you might look at your friends first 17:21 and you'd be like, "Oh that should be..." 17:22 No, that's not their cup of tea, 17:24 that's not their cup to bear, 17:25 that's not what they should be in their relationship. 17:26 We have to let them figure it out for themselves, 17:29 and be that support as their parent to figure out 17:32 what exactly is it that they need to have 17:34 in their relationship 17:36 and allow them to struggle a little bit. 17:38 As parents, we don't want our kids to struggle. 17:39 We want to get it perfectly. 17:41 We want to have a great spouse, 17:42 going to marry that person to the day you die. 17:45 But they may have someone who are always on the path 17:47 and you have to learn how to encourage 17:48 and support and to lift up. 17:50 I don't plan to be in my children 17:52 and I agree with you. 17:53 I don't plan to be in my children's life, 17:56 you know, navigate in every step of the way. 17:59 They're going to have to learn. 18:00 They're gonna have to get some... 18:02 But I do say this 18:03 and I'm very straight with this point. 18:06 If we don't agree with it, I'm not in it. 18:12 If we agree with the marriage 18:13 and we agree with who we are signing off, 18:15 we get our blessings, when you need us we're there, 18:19 but we're not there to navigate your life all the way. 18:21 And I'm just very, very plain with that. 18:24 I believe that parents, we're gonna always be parents. 18:27 We'll never stop being a parent to our children. 18:29 But we need to give them the space 18:31 in their marriage to grow 18:32 and you know, to experience the bumps. 18:35 But you cannot allow them, you can't, I mean, 18:38 have them go through that if you yourself on that hole. 18:43 And a lot of problems we have is that 18:45 we are broken and as parents, 18:47 we're not coming with the grips, 18:49 we're not willing to come to grips 18:50 with our brokenness. 18:52 And so we have a broken parent 18:55 trying to parent broken children. 18:58 So the whole system is broken. So only God can help us. 19:02 And so we've got to come back 19:03 to what we are just talking prayer 19:05 and put them in the hands of God 19:07 and putting ourselves in hands of God, 19:09 and being open and plain and honest with ourselves. 19:12 And I think that's critical, 19:14 you know, when I see so many different spectrums, 19:16 you know, you have mentored young men 19:20 that don't have a father, 19:22 and they don't know what to do next. 19:23 I've also talked to women 19:25 whose fathers weren't in their lives 19:28 and they just, you know, you can see 19:29 that they want to do better, but they just don't know how. 19:33 And I think it's important for all of us 19:34 that have any type of experience 19:39 whatever the case may be, 19:40 to have that understanding that, 19:42 you know, it's critical, and I know for my girls, 19:45 for our daughters, 19:48 you know, I'm very much against the notion 19:52 that they're going to get married 19:53 when they, I'm not gonna lie. 19:55 I know what you mean. 19:56 I say to them, 19:58 you know, you're going to get married 19:59 to the prince of peace one day. 20:00 Or you got to do is wait till he comes back. 20:02 That's the bedtime story. I'm with you there. 20:05 You know, I'm like, 20:06 that's just the notion of my daughters growing up, 20:09 the notion of them falling in love 20:11 and having a boyfriend and getting married. 20:14 That just, it bothers me. It bothers me. 20:17 But it's reality. 20:19 And one of the things that I've done 20:20 is just to really be involved 20:22 and become a better father, become a better man, 20:26 so they know that how a man is supposed to treat them, 20:30 and I think that's so critical, 20:32 you know, there are so many dads out there 20:33 that are not involved, and even then, when... 20:38 I have relatives 20:39 whose dad is not in their lives. 20:40 You know, they're women. 20:42 They're grown women. 20:43 And there may be times 20:45 that even though they're adults, 20:46 they want to call, "Dad. 20:47 Dad. 20:49 Hey, I have a question for you." 20:50 You know, just ideas, 20:51 just, you know, bouncing back ideas 20:53 from your father. 20:54 And I'm just, it frustrates me to the oddest extent 20:59 when I see women, grown women who tell me, 21:02 "My father is not..." 21:04 What is wrong with you man? 21:07 Like you're big enough to procreate. 21:10 Be big enough to be in your daughter's life. 21:13 She's innocent. But she didn't do anything. 21:14 She didn't ask to be here. God blessed her to be here. 21:18 It is your job to step up. 21:20 I don't care what the excuse is. 21:22 Do you know what you're doing? None of us do. 21:24 But it's not a matter of knowing 21:26 what we were doing. 21:27 It is a matter of knowing who to go to, 21:28 who knows what he's doing, and that's Jesus Christ. 21:31 And I think that's important, 21:33 you know, and just really equipping our members 21:36 because we're going 21:37 to have church members like that. 21:39 And have you had any experience with church members like that? 21:41 You know, I've had many experiences like that. 21:45 I can recall one. 21:47 And I would tell the father, "Listen. 21:49 This is your baby girl. 21:52 And you need to date your baby girl 21:54 so that she can see how a man need to treat her. 21:57 Bring her a rose one day." 21:59 And so I'm trying to correct 22:02 some things in his life to help him 22:05 be a better parent to his child. 22:07 The brokenness, the pain in the daughter's eyes. 22:10 I remember she was just crying. 22:13 Why because that bond wasn't there. 22:18 My daughter Jasmine, 22:20 she is the light of my life, you know? 22:23 And I'm watching her 17, 22:26 going on 18, and I'm saying, "You know what? 22:30 This is not a good times. 22:34 Because I know that you're going to have 22:36 to leave home one day." 22:38 But I'm going to make sure that when you leave home, 22:41 you have all the tools 22:43 that when we'll help you choose, 22:46 that will be the right person 22:47 because her dad bring her a rose, 22:50 her dad snap chats with her. 22:52 We would snap chat and I don't know 22:53 what I'm doing but I'm doing it. 22:56 You know, we're doing, 22:57 I'll call this because this is what 22:58 they are doing. 23:00 So that is there with you. 23:02 So she knows that that I am there. 23:04 And I think that is so important for us 23:06 to let our, you know, let our daughters that, 23:09 "Listen, when I find a man, 23:12 that man's got to be better than my father. 23:15 Treat me better than my father." 23:17 I agree. 23:18 "Even look better than my father." 23:21 What about you? 23:23 I think that's a very, very valid point of modeling 23:27 and showing exactly what they should look like. 23:31 And but in different specs, as you said, 23:33 there are some fathers 23:34 who just never had the experience. 23:38 So they don't know how to teach their son 23:40 or how to teach their daughter, what it is to expect, 23:43 that's how we're talked about earlier. 23:44 You know, asking God, searching the scriptures, 23:46 searching, reading up 23:49 on different resources, podcasts, sermons, 23:53 all these different things 23:55 just to learn more on what it is to expect. 24:01 It's challenging 24:03 because every bond relationship 24:04 is so different. 24:06 And you don't want your child to have any heartache. 24:10 You don't want your child have any pain. 24:12 But they have to have heartache, 24:13 and they have to have pain. 24:15 And it's a very difficult balance 24:17 to try to figure out 24:18 how do I accept this as the reality. 24:21 And when it comes to young girls, 24:25 what to expect from their father. 24:27 There's some controversy against dating. 24:29 They think that some women have said 24:31 they don't want their fathers. 24:33 They want their children's fathers 24:34 to date their daughters. 24:36 They don't want that type of relationship. 24:37 And there's that a lot of controversy 24:39 and that's one of things 24:40 of how should you date your daughter. 24:44 What does that look like? 24:46 For me, look, what it is is that we go out together. 24:51 We have what she wants. 24:53 She likes to go to Fire and Ice, 24:55 we go to Fire and Ice together. 24:57 And we talk. 24:58 We talk about life, we talk about different issues. 25:01 And we come back home, we have to go up, 25:03 and do the same with my son. 25:05 This is spending time, 25:06 spending the quality time together. 25:08 Night from since they were babies, 25:10 I would be, you know, we would exchange, 25:12 her mom and I. 25:13 We would go in the room, we would talk to the one 25:15 and then I leave while my wife is talking to the son, 25:18 and then we'll flip. 25:19 So it's different ways to do it. 25:22 When I bring a rose to my daughter, 25:23 you know, just for you, to assure, to give, 25:27 let her know that her dad values. 25:30 I've got, you know, I love her, I care for her, 25:33 and I do the same for my son. 25:34 So that's what it looks like to me. 25:36 I've read 25:38 all of the different thoughts on it 25:41 but I still think it is important for the child 25:44 to know that her father or his father values. 25:49 And it's important, it's for and to. 25:50 You know, we're gearing up but it's interesting. 25:56 My five year old daughter, she was leaving the school, 26:00 little daycare, and this little boy comes 26:02 to the fence and says, "Andrea, Andrea. 26:05 Where are you going? Can I have a kiss?" 26:07 I turned around, I said, "Boy. Let me tell you something. 26:10 You go and kiss your mom and dad that's what I said, 26:14 Lord, keep me, Lord, keep me right now. 26:18 Lord, keep me right now, boy. But it's fun interacting 26:20 and having seen your children grow. 26:22 And I think that's key for any relationship. 26:26 Is there anything else you want to add 26:27 in the last little bit we have? 26:29 I just want to add briefly is that 26:32 I think it's very important for fathers 26:33 to step up and take a more, 26:36 even though your life has been broken, you can learn, 26:40 there's resources, learn. 26:43 Learn as much as you can 26:45 to fill those gaps that you can pass on something 26:48 valuable to your children. 26:50 Model, model prayer, model how to treat your wives, 26:55 make sure that they're seeing the hug and kiss 26:57 and loving their mothers. 26:59 It's a great thing. 27:01 My daughter will come 27:02 and she'll sit in the middle of us 27:04 so that she, and it's fun. 27:05 So you got to model these things to them. 27:08 And for the... 27:09 I appreciate everything you've done 27:11 and now unfortunately, we're out of time. 27:13 So got to let the brother know out there, 27:16 you guys, you know. 27:19 Just remember, being a father is never easy 27:21 whether you've had the model parents 27:23 or you've had no father in your life. 27:26 But it's still no excuse for you not to step up. 27:29 Nowadays they're so many resources 27:31 out there available to you 27:33 to educate you and guess what? 27:35 Even though I'm married to my lovely wife 27:37 and we have two wonderful kids, 27:39 I still don't know what I'm doing. 27:41 And that's just the fact of it. 27:43 It is about growing together with your children 27:46 and having fun 27:47 because these are memories you will never get back. 27:51 So please be part of your kids' lives. 27:53 Stop making excuses. 27:55 And for you fathers 27:56 who have grown women as daughters, 27:58 step up, stop it. 28:00 Thank you for watching. |
Revised 2018-10-29