Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Jeannette Rodriguez
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR000008
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00:10 Welcome to Celebrating Life In Recovery, I'm Cheri your host.
00:13 Today you are going to be so blessed, we are going to look 00:15 at how God grows us spiritually. 00:17 How He leads us through recovery, it is amazing. 00:20 Come in and join us! 00:48 I love this show, I love what we are trying to do here. 00:52 I love recovery, I love how God says I know that every 00:54 one of you are a mess, and if you are watching and 00:57 you are saying, "I don't think I'm a mess," 00:59 it's because you are in denial. 01:02 It's like all of us have stuff and God says the best 01:05 of the best of us are like filthy rags. 01:08 I can't even tell you what the original language says 01:11 because it is disgusting, but I mean filthy rags. 01:13 So it is like God is saying, I really died for you because 01:18 you need Me to die for you. 01:19 I want to start with telling you a story that I heard on a 01:23 talk show, a daytime talk show. 01:25 It was about a guy and his gig, his job what he got paid 01:29 to do was to get a map of the United States. 01:32 He literally gets this map of the United States. 01:35 He has a dart and he throws the dart. 01:38 Poof and it sticks. Wherever it's sticks he goes to that 01:43 city, and he goes to that city and goes to a phone booth, 01:48 any phone booth, he sees one and opens up the phone 01:51 book to any page and puts his finger down. 01:54 Then he goes to that house with a film crew and knocks on 01:58 the door and says, excuse me, can you tell me a little bit 02:04 about yourself? If they say yes, he hears their testimony. 02:10 He says everybody has a story. 02:12 When he is done with that one and he hears what has been 02:15 blessed in their family, from their story or what they 02:17 have struggled with, and they learned from their struggle. 02:21 Then he goes back to the map and takes his dart, poof! 02:25 Goes to that city, goes to that phone booth, goes to the 02:29 phonebook and opens it up and puts his finger down 02:32 and goes right to a house. 02:33 I'm thinking how funny is that? 02:35 I want to see the reason I want to set that up is this 02:37 show is going to be a little different than the rest 02:40 of the shows we have done. 02:41 We are going to listen to the people sitting here at the 02:44 café, and we are going to hear their stories. 02:46 If I could, I would switch them out with the camera people 02:49 and we would hear their stories, and if I could I would 02:51 switch them out with the production team and we would 02:54 hear their stories, and if I could I would switch 02:56 them out with you and we would hear your story. 02:58 It's amazing because we all have a story. 03:01 God says, you know what I am crazy about you. 03:04 My theme text Isaiah 57:18 I know that you are a mess 03:08 and I'm going to heal you anyway. 03:11 I'm thinking I am so ready, heal me. 03:13 There are some things that I don't even know I need 03:16 healing from and He says, that's all right. 03:18 That's alright I'm okay with that. 03:19 So we are going to introduce you to people on the set. 03:22 I'm going to do it a little different than we normally do. 03:25 Some of you I'm going to grab and just have you come up 03:27 here, like Betty I want you to come up here your first. 03:33 I know when I said you're going to be first you looked at me 03:35 like no, not first. 03:37 Tell us a little bit about yourself and where you came 03:40 from, because as you know, and I got to say, doesn't she 03:43 look like she would be a teacher, she'd be my teacher 03:46 and be perfect and never have anything you struggled with? 03:49 To me everything about you seems perfect. 03:52 Oh really! - yeah, so tell the people at the café where 03:57 you come from and what have you struggled with in your life? 03:59 Well I say the thing that I struggled with the most was 04:03 that I was adopted when I was small. - how small? 04:06 I was three years old - okay. 04:08 So all my growing up years, and even to this day, 04:12 I struggle with the feeling of loneliness and being 04:16 alone and not having family. 04:18 Did you remember at three, did you ever remember your folks? 04:22 - no! - did you ever see them? 04:23 Yes, yes I have met them several times and I know who 04:27 they are. - what were they like? 04:29 Um, they're both deaf and dumb and so they just weren't 04:33 able to care for us at the time and that is why, 04:37 I think the Lord lead and I think God put me where 04:41 He wanted me to be. 04:42 It doesn't help when you struggle with your loneliness 04:45 right? - Yea, but I think that God is the One who has 04:49 helped me along because I can remember even when I was six 04:51 years old, I would go out in the woods and climb up 04:55 a tree and talk to God. 04:58 God was like, I saw God as my Father all the years. 05:02 Whenever, whenever I was really lonely and ran into 05:05 problems I saw God as my Father and the One that would 05:09 always be there for me. 05:10 You know what, could you just imagine I saw you as a little 05:15 girl and I need to get closer to God so I'll climb this tree. 05:17 I just want to kiss you for that. - okay. 05:20 So as you struggled, as you grew up, as you looked at 05:24 these issues God was faithful during those times. 05:28 Oh yes definitely. - never struggled with anything else 05:31 other than the adoption? 05:33 No, I have struggled with other things, but that is the 05:36 biggest thing. - okay, okay thank you for coming up. 05:38 And I want, the next person, Mark you can go ahead and 05:44 stay sitting down, you work for the church. 05:46 You are married to Betty - 25 years ago. 05:51 25 years you have been married! 05:52 Is she still climbing trees? Ah she makes me climb trees. 05:58 Let's both go find God, lets both go up the tree. 06:01 So who are you, and who are you in Christ? 06:05 Not only in your marriage but just in your life. 06:07 You mean now or whenever? - whenever. 06:11 Well I wasn't raised an Adventist, I was raised in 06:14 a nominal Christian home in Washington, DC. 06:17 I went to Sunday school and was even an acolyte, but 06:22 I came to the conclusion that Christianity lost its power. 06:27 Maybe way back in the early centuries it was significant, 06:31 had an influence but I didn't see any influence, anything 06:35 that impacted people's lives in the church I was raised in. 06:38 So by the time I was 16 I just lost interest. 06:40 So it's not even real and I do want to be here and I could 06:44 care less. - I just exited and I lived by the flesh. 06:48 Wait! What does that mean? Because you know what when I was 06:53 on the street and I heard somebody say I got out there 06:55 in the flesh, I thought what does that mean? 06:57 Well one of the drawbacks it is one of the things you think 07:00 about today, but it definitely was party life. 07:03 Drinking and that kind of stuff? - Yeah little bit of that. 07:06 And women - but like you say and women and we are not bad 07:12 unless you make us bad so go ahead. 07:14 But you got out there? Left Christ. - yes I did. 07:18 But I had a good friend in high school and he had a job, 07:23 a summer job that paid quite a bit more than I was getting 07:27 paid so I thought out of greed I said I want that job 07:31 so I went and applied. 07:34 It was at a sheet metal shop, and I didn't realize this 07:37 it took me several times, I back four times. 07:42 They said you really want to work so they said that we'll 07:45 hire you, but I realize that the foreman of that shop 07:48 was a Seventh-day Adventist. 07:49 He wasn't just an Adventist, he was an on-fire Adventist. 07:54 He witnessed, and he took an interest in us young guys. 07:58 Now he seemed old, 31 years old, he seemed old but he took an 08:02 interest in us young guys, I was 17. 08:03 The about 17 and he would try to show us how to do our work 08:07 but he would tell us what Christ has done for him. 08:12 I had never heard anybody talk about Jesus as a friend. 08:16 Where His love have made a difference in their lives. 08:20 He said his wife and I used to do all these parties and 08:23 all these terrible things he didn't like, but now we love 08:28 each other, we have a great family life. 08:31 It has changed me, now we drink but we drink lemonade on 08:36 the back porch and it's wonderful. 08:37 So Mark you saw somebody that finally took God and made 08:41 Him real inside his life. So God became real to you then? 08:44 Well the other component was the fact that he was truly 08:46 a loving caring person. 08:47 I had never met or seen that in church. 08:50 That really made an impression on me, now at the time 08:54 I wasn't really that interested. I remember at the time saying Oh 08:57 this is going to interfere with the fun I am 08:58 having, I don't want it. 09:00 But I couldn't help but listen, and God confronted me 09:03 and I sort of put it on the back burner and then went to 09:05 the University of Maryland and continued on with the life. 09:09 But then I came to the point I didn't feel very fulfilled 09:12 with it and I started reading the Bible and I remembered my 09:14 friend and asked him if he would study the Bible with me. 09:18 And the funny thing was he said okay, come on over and 09:21 I came over on a Friday night. 09:22 Now this is, this is a Friday night and we had a Bible 09:25 study and he went right into Daniel and talked about, 09:29 - no way. - he started opening up the text talking 09:33 about the little horn. 09:34 I said I know who that is, because I was a history buff. 09:39 That's really interesting to me though, is that you would 09:44 get into somebody that opens the book and actually gets 09:47 into some really heavy issues right away. 09:49 So you needed that? - I was interested. 09:51 So I'm going to go onto the next person, I just want to 09:55 say how incredible that you left the church, it wasn't real 09:59 and somebody just stood in front of you and pulls you back and 10:03 you are blessed by it. - just show you how ready I was, 10:05 I went to church the next day - no way? 10:08 And I went in gathering the next night. - no way! 10:11 Now you work in church and a ministry. 10:13 After that I always kept Sabbath after that. - wow. 10:18 You have been a ministry since then - since I was 10:22 baptized in 1972, it was a whole new world. 10:29 I was totally not interested in religion, or God or 10:34 anything to do with God, but when I finally, when I was a 10:38 finally confronted with His promises and His claims, 10:40 I was overwhelmed. - and the Holy Spirit. 10:42 Okay let's move on, I want to introduce you to Susan. 10:47 Susan come on up. Susan we met a little while ago. 10:52 You are how old - 18- 18. 10:55 I wish I was 18 again, I'm so jealous go sit down. No! 11:00 You and I have known each other for a while. 11:02 You deal with some pretty heavy issues, so talk a 11:05 little bit about where you came from, first about your 11:09 family an outreach stuff and where you came from and 11:12 what you deal with. 11:14 I was born in Guam and I was a missionary kid and went 11:18 to Indonesia and then I got into the United States. 11:21 It was pretty traumatic coming into the United States 11:25 after all that Aye! 11:27 Yeah I went through basically culture shock. 11:30 It's really difficult for me and it was about age 12 that I 11:37 started self abusing and I dealt with it for six years now. 11:42 Self abusing for people don't know what is that? 11:44 Because there is a lot of people when you say that 11:46 they're not going to have a clue, I don't know what 11:48 she's talking about. 11:50 It's basically cutting, burning, whatever, I mean it is 11:54 just different methods for different people. 11:56 But trying to relieve almost like the emotional pain you 12:01 feel with an outward thing? - yes, just releasing the 12:06 pain from within, or distracting yourself from what you 12:10 need to deal with and try to avoid the problem altogether. 12:14 You have been cutting yourself, burning yourself for how 12:19 long? - for six years. 12:21 Is God trying to get you to stop? - yes - yes! 12:26 And when I say that because I know, I watch even our 12:30 relationship and different people in your life, and God 12:33 has been faithful with all the things you have dealt with. 12:37 When you had gotten into this, you've gotten into some 12:41 pretty difficult situations that have caused other things 12:45 to pile up on you. How you deal with that? 12:48 Well I was sexually abused and all that and that is 12:57 basically how it started, the cutting. 13:03 I just try to like avoid thinking about the things and 13:10 try to think positive and try to pray and do alternatives. 13:16 And you are in a support group for the abuse issues? 13:21 Right - yeah - how's that working out? 13:24 It has been good, it has been very helpful. 13:27 I'm trying to deal with the problem behind the reason 13:32 I am hurting myself and once that is through I think 13:37 I will be able to heal and stop cutting altogether. 13:41 You know what is amazing to me in our relationship, just 13:44 knowing each other for the short time we have. 13:47 Because we've known each other for like three years or so, 13:49 right? - ah hmmm - the short time we work together 13:51 is this is the first time I think I have heard you talk 13:54 about having some kind of hope that this will be over 13:59 sometime? - yeah, I have a hope because it has been 14:03 easier and it is getting easier and easier for me to stop 14:07 for a certain duration of time that I'll not do it. 14:14 Then I will have a relapse and always have the hope that 14:17 I can keep going. - do you feel like God forgives you? 14:22 Yeah. - I do too. And this, and I'm just going to say 14:27 this right now because it is amazing to me. 14:29 I worked with a girl that was your age and she was 14:31 anorexic. She came in one day and she was, she had taken 14:35 all kinds of laxatives and she was trying to get herself to 14:39 throw up because her mom made her eat and stuff like that. 14:42 You had anorexia at one time right? Didn't you have 14:44 eating disorders at one time? - yeah. 14:45 So she comes in to work right, I had her working at the 14:48 Ministry Center and she goes into the bathroom and 14:52 she is, I'm sorry if this is disgusting to people 14:55 but you have to just see this whole thing. 14:57 The laxatives were too intense, she was like going everywhere 15:01 and she was also throwing up and she came out and she felt 15:04 horrible, and I could tell she had lost all the color and 15:08 she was sweating and I said if Christ came back right now, 15:12 right now do you think He would take you with Him? 15:15 Do you think that you would be saved? Do you know what 15:18 she said? She started weeping and can you imagine what 15:21 she said? No I don't think He would take me back. 15:25 I said oh man, that is where you have Him wrong. 15:29 He would take you back in a second because sometimes we 15:32 are in all our mess, and we feel overwhelmed by that, 15:35 but we have a God that said I died for you 15:37 because you are a mess. 15:39 All of us, not just one of us, not just you, not just me, not 15:43 just Betty with your adoption issues and all at stuff. 15:47 Mark, I imagine you have some other stuff that you are not 15:50 sharing with us, I'm kidding. 15:52 But you know not just one of us up all of us and 15:55 God said I died for you and I will walk with 15:57 you every step of the way. 15:58 Do you know of my prayer is for you and I? 16:00 I get to see you when you are on the other side of all this 16:04 stuff and you are helping someone else. 16:05 I think that will be a blast. 16:08 I have a great dream to help others and use my problems to 16:11 help those who are going through the same thing I went 16:14 through. - and there are tons. 16:16 Cutting in school how prevalent is it? 16:19 I have had friends that do it, and I've had people that 16:27 are way worse off than I am. 16:29 Huge scars all over their body. - yeah. 16:32 I just tried to, when I do know people and when I do have 16:37 friends it's kind of like trying to use it in a positive 16:42 way, like if you have a friend that is dealing with 16:46 cutting and you are dealing with cutting also, 16:51 then you want to try and use that in a positive way to 16:56 get together and use the hope and just try to support 17:02 each other in not doing it, and not doing it. 17:05 Actually learning to do something else, and the support 17:09 actually helps you. - it can hinder you to know someone else 17:13 is cutting and you are dealing with cutting, but it can 17:16 also be a positive experience because you can pray for 17:18 each other, you can help each other, you can lift each 17:21 other up and it is a good thing if you use it 17:25 in a positive way. 17:26 Cutting actually becomes an addiction in and of itself. 17:29 Does anybody know that? You can get addicted to your own 17:33 body chemistry and so you have to actually almost go 17:36 through recovery from your own self as if you are addicted to 17:39 like heroin with cutting. 17:41 So you and I are actually going to do a whole show on that 17:44 next season and we will blessed with another woman named 17:47 Nikki Duffy so you have to be tuned into that. 17:49 But right now I want to say thank you for sharing with us. 17:52 And you know I'm crazy about you? - yeah. 17:55 Okay you can sit down now. Okay Valerie, come on up. 17:59 Okay Valerie you and I just met. - yes, yes. 18:05 But I know your daughter in law and your son, I've known 18:10 them for a while and I didn't even know that Brad's mom 18:16 had a little issue of some kind. 18:18 So tell me, who are you? What do you deal with? 18:20 Addiction, alcoholism. - since how old? 18:26 Ah, 12- so what do you think brought alcohol into your life 18:33 at 12 years old, what was going on? 18:34 Trying to fit in maybe in the right crowd, small town. 18:44 Sexual abuse - all that stuff? - uhhhhhmmm. 18:49 How has alcoholism interfere with your life and 18:53 why are you moving into a relationship with God?, 18:58 what brought that about? 18:59 I need God, I can't live any longer like this. 19:07 Amen, and you know what I want to say is Dah, 19:15 No I'm sorry I didn't really mean that. 19:17 It's like suicide, it's suicide or God. - I'm so done. 19:25 Yeah! - I'm so sick of this stuff that I want to kill 19:29 myself or want to change. - yes, ya I have to have God 19:32 in my life or I just can't keep going. I need Him. 19:36 You don't have it within you to do it on your own aye? 19:40 Oh I can't. - Are you twisted in your thinking? - Oh yeah. 19:44 Do you have crazies thinking? - oh yeah, bad dreams, I cry 19:48 out to God in the night. - do you know why say that? 19:50 Is because I was so twisted and I was so crazy, but you 19:53 know what I want to say to you, no not bragging. 19:56 I'm absolutely am incredible right now, you know I have 20:01 a great life and love to laugh and I love what I'm doing. 20:05 I don't feel afraid of my own thoughts anymore. 20:08 I want to tell you to hang on to God and don't let Him go 20:11 because He will get you to a place where you will not be 20:14 afraid of your own thoughts. 20:15 You will actually stand holy in a presence of a holy God 20:19 saying, Yahoo, life is good. 20:22 So hang in there and if you need to just come stay at my 20:26 house for awhile, okay anything else you want to share 20:31 with us? - No, I thank God for listening to me in the 20:36 middle of the night and sticking with me. 20:40 I mean He is there and He does take us back when we fall. 20:43 Was He there during your alcoholism do you think? 20:47 Yeah, I know He was because I wouldn't be here today, 20:50 I should have wrecked my car many times, yeah He is there. 20:55 What is amazing is that one time I had overdosed on heroin and 21:00 I'm laying on the floor of a drug house in my own feces and 21:04 I think God was there during that time. 21:06 Somebody will say no, no, no He is not there until 21:08 we say we want Him or until we are saved. 21:11 God if we are breathing, God is with you. 21:14 If we have breath in our body God is working to reconcile 21:18 us back to Him. 21:19 Not saying that He loves us drinking, but He loves our 21:22 liver, He doesn't want us to damage our self, to trash 21:26 our brains and all that stuff to cut our bodies. 21:29 I think Satan so wants to destroy us and God does not. 21:32 He says if you are breathing, I will be with you, all you 21:36 have to do is holler out and that's what you say, is when 21:38 I relapsed I holler out. 21:40 You holler out in the night when you are afraid of your own 21:43 dreams. - Amen - I thank you for sharing that with us. 21:46 Go-ahead Valerie sit down. 21:48 If anybody is watching this show, I beg you to pray for 21:54 the people you see on our show, pray for me pray for yourself. 21:57 It is really important that we actually know or realize 22:04 that God is working with every single one of us. 22:07 On the next segment, when we come back I want to show you 22:11 what God has taught me about how He walks us into recovery, 22:16 and how He deals with all these different things, all 22:19 these things that people deal with and it is so amazing, 22:22 it is a so amazing that you have to stay tuned. 22:28 We want to introduce you to a beautiful book 22:30 Called 'Steps To Christ'. 22:32 Each program in this series is based on a different chapter 22:35 showing you how to become a Christian and 22:37 gain victory over your addictions. 22:39 'Steps To Christ' is our gift to you free of charge. 22:42 Just call us at: 23:10 Welcome back, this is my favorite part of the show. 23:13 This show is a little bit different because we are doing 23:15 it different, we have the testimonies, you got to meet 23:17 everybody at the café except for wait a minute, 23:21 Larry you got out from having to say anything. 23:24 So I want to know who are you? - okay well before I get 23:28 into that I want to say something because I have been on 23:31 a few other shows and it don't seem to get to say it is 23:34 that there is a way out, no matter what comes your way. 23:38 Like in my case one of the things that really bugged me 23:41 and I only just recently spoke publicly about it was 23:45 molested as a child and having the guilt feeling and 23:49 having the shame, God is there and He'll take care of it for 23:52 us if we will just give it to Him, I wanted to say that in the 23:54 onset because that is the way my life started somewhere 23:57 between three and five I had been molested when I was an 24:00 infant and my mother and father separated when I was two 24:03 and they divorced. 24:05 Then when I was six was my molestation and then later on 24:07 there was more and I joined gangs and got into a lot of 24:10 things and had a lot of different addictions and 24:13 the more it went on the worse it got. 24:15 I couldn't trust people, I joined motorcycle gangs later 24:21 on even in my 30's it was still going, I came from 24:24 motorcycle gangs into the church. 24:27 I heard you were hard-core in gangs, in motorcycle groups? 24:32 I rode with some pretty hard-core boys, Hells Angels, 24:36 the Barons, there was a group called the Barons over in 24:39 Massachusetts all the way down to Florida actually. 24:42 They were very bad, I wouldn't join them because I didn't 24:46 like going out to hurt people. 24:47 If people came and wanted to fight, okay I was ready for that 24:50 but I didn't want to go out to just purposely hurt people. 24:53 Then I went out to Arizona, I kind of felt like it was the 24:57 environment that was the problem so I kept moving around. 25:01 I went down to Kentucky and then I went out to Arizona and 25:04 got in some trouble out there and went back to Kentucky and 25:08 that is when I first started to, I'm jumping around a lot. 25:12 I didn't cover a lot of things but that's when I realized 25:17 what I found out about the power of prayer. 25:19 Now jumping way back in 1956 my grandfather brought us to 25:24 church for three years and I was given a Bible for perfect 25:29 attendance and I carried that Bible with me through 25:32 everything, through the gang situation, even when I was in 25:36 a motorcycle gang. - why did you carry it? 25:38 I didn't then but I believe now, even in Vietnam I had 25:42 that Bible, I was a machine gun on a helicopter and 25:45 I always had that Bible with me. 25:46 I believe it was the only, I was very stubborn, very 25:50 hard to get through to, I didn't trust anybody anymore. 25:54 All my life everybody that I trusted that me down. 25:56 So I didn't trust anybody anymore and that Bible was the 26:00 only thing, I think the only connection that kept me with 26:03 God because I would pray, I don't know why and I didn't know 26:06 who to but I didn't realize the power of prayer and 26:09 I didn't realize how much that Bible meant. 26:11 I would pick it up and read it every once in while, but 26:15 it didn't make sense to me until later on when I was back 26:18 down in Kentucky with my dad. 26:20 We were alongside a road and we were putting pipe through 26:23 a road, underneath the road and we see a solid ledge. 26:26 He wanted to try it again after we tried it several times and 26:30 I'm saying this isn't going to work, we are just wasting 26:32 time and I'm handling these 200 pound things and I don't 26:34 want to do this no more. 26:36 Oh we forgot to pray he said. I said wait a minute 26:38 we are on a public road here, we're going 26:41 to pray, well okay. 26:43 So he said kneel down, were going to kneel down so 26:45 we kneel down and we pray and I'm pray that nobody comes by, 26:48 I don't want anybody to see me. Oh man I was embarrassed. 26:52 But we got down to put the thing through and it hits 26:55 again and see I told you this thing ain't going to work. 26:57 He said wait a second, just wait a second he pulled it 27:00 back out a little bit and put it back in and it went 27:03 through just like he was going through hot butter and 27:05 that's when prayer started to mean something to me. 27:07 From there on then things started to change. 27:10 I didn't change right then, I was still running with 27:14 motorcycle gangs, I did actually finally join one down 27:17 there in Kentucky, but things like the Sabbath, 27:19 I wouldn't do anything on the Sabbath. 27:21 When it came Friday sundown I told the boys I will see you 27:25 tomorrow night or something but it started to work on me. 27:28 Then I start watching things like Kenneth Cox tapes and 27:31 different things like that. - I love him, do you love him? 27:34 Oh yeah it's fantastic. 27:36 And that is what brought me into the situation I am in now. 27:39 I am so stubborn God literally had to put me flat on my face 27:43 several times in my life, I have been through several 27:46 careers because I am so stubborn and I believe that now 27:48 is the reason, He wanted to get my attention. 27:50 I wasn't giving it, having a hard time trusting I think 27:55 was the major issue but I would be doing good and 27:58 everything was going great and wham, I'm literally flat on 28:01 my back with injuries. I'm saying why me, why does 28:04 this have to happen to me? 28:05 I never blamed God, I always looked to okay, what am I doing? 28:09 There is something I am doing wrong so I never 28:12 blamed God even though for a long time I didn't know 28:14 about Him. I never blamed Him, I would talk to Him 28:17 and didn't know who I was talking to. 28:19 During all that time during that time you were running 28:22 and doing all this stuff and God was present enough that 28:25 when you turned with Him you knew that He was there. 28:28 And when I did turn to Him, how do I know this is for real? 28:32 Then He started showing me things in my mind and bringing 28:36 back things of times when there was no other way 28:38 I could have came out of it. 28:40 I should be alive today. - Exactly! 28:41 There is many times I should have been dead. 28:43 Okay you want to hold that because I want to get back to 28:45 you, okay Jeanette we didn't hear about you. 28:48 I know, first of all I know you're a criminologist, 28:52 you work with people in recovery, you're an incredible 28:56 woman of God that works in this area, but you have 29:00 your own story on top of that. 29:01 I have to say in the stories that I heard here today 29:04 have been very interesting and I also want the audience out 29:07 there to understand a lot of times that just the denial 29:10 of something is what makes the situation worse. 29:13 You know I have a child, I have one daughter and 29:16 she will be 17 next month. 29:17 It's interesting because I call her my miracle baby. 29:21 She came at a time where most women my age would have 29:25 aborted, she was my senior year college, I had a full 29:28 scholarship to law school and I had to decide whether 29:30 I was going to go to law school or have this baby when 29:33 I was a single mom. 29:34 The Lord let me know, the Lord and I made an agreement 29:38 that if this child was going to be my blessing, that God 29:42 was going to provide for me until she was an adult. 29:45 I agreed that I was going to go through with what God 29:49 wanted for me and I gave birth to her. 29:51 She was born two months early, she weighed 3 pounds and 29:56 everyone in that emergency room, the prenatal unit, 30:01 intensive care unit was worried about their children in 30:04 there because they're an incubator they are so fragile 30:07 they are tiny and fit in the palm of your hand and I was 30:10 the only mom that didn't care. 30:12 I would just walk in and they would ask why do you feel 30:14 so confident, because God doesn't give things to take them 30:17 away and they were surprised that I would say that because 30:20 I was the new mom at the time I was 25 years old and was 30:23 young and had never had a child before. 30:25 I was so confident when I walked into that unit and said 30:28 I would want to see my baby, pull her out of the incubator 30:31 and wrapped her around and cuddle her. 30:32 They would say aren't you afraid she might die? 30:35 Like I said I serve a God that doesn't take away 30:37 what He gives and I was always very confident 30:39 throughout her childhood. 30:41 But as the years went by was listened to Susan's story and 30:44 it was very impacting because I think a lot of Christian 30:47 families are suffering internally and not talking about 30:50 certain things that I believe are really hurting. 30:53 Just recently about a year and a half ago my daughter 30:57 started cutting herself and its devastating when you're 31:01 a counselor and to find out your sleeping a bedroom away 31:04 and find out that your own child is doing this. 31:07 Jeanette do you feel like you should have seen this, 31:09 should have seen some signs, I should've been there? 31:12 My reaction, you know me and you know how strong I am, 31:15 my daughter actually had her friend come over so 31:18 she could have the courage to show me her arms. 31:21 It's summertime and she's wearing long sleeves and 31:24 she says mom we have to tell you something. 31:26 So when I go back out to see what she had to tell me 31:29 she rolls up her sleeves and see her arms all cut up 31:32 and my reaction was to run out of the room screaming. 31:35 This is not the reaction you would have expected 31:37 a counselor to have but the devastation of remembering 31:40 that day when she was born saying God doesn't take away 31:43 what He gives you it is like I was answering, 31:46 I was asking God what is going on? 31:48 - knowing she could possibly take herself out. - exactly. 31:51 So the interesting thing about cutting is that it is 31:54 getting to the edge, not necessarily killing yourself. 31:57 I didn't understand as much about cutting at the time 31:59 and I started to do more research on it. 32:01 The fear that I had was in one of her cutting episodes 32:07 if she would cut a vein and end up dying. 32:09 The idea of losing the only child you have, any child for 32:13 that matter, it doesn't matter if you have 10 or 12, this 32:16 is a child that I believed was God was blessing me because 32:20 she was the one that brought me back to the Lord. 32:21 I had left the church for 13 years and my daughter says 32:23 mom I'm getting baptized and you need to be there. 32:25 I need your blessing. 32:27 She basically brought me back to Jesus and I 32:30 felt this was God's tool and I'm saying how could You bring 32:33 her in my life and then take her away, something is wrong 32:36 and I just didn't know. 32:37 Immediately the human side of you says, get her some help. 32:40 So the next day I am on the phone, I call the church, 32:43 I call the school, and I get the name of a therapist and 32:46 I get her in therapy right away. 32:48 Okay I'm feeling a little bit better because I'm doing 32:50 something, just our natural instinct. - you're not 32:52 feeling powerless. - I'm not feeling powerless and she has 32:54 a therapist and I think I'm doing something and it is good. 32:58 I'm talking to her and pray with her saying okay God I need 33:01 You in this and God and I we talked very down-to-earth. 33:05 I said God you have to work with me on this one. 33:07 I had asked God that if I was going to work with those 33:10 people that He felt was my responsibility, which was 33:13 working with addicts as you know, that He had to take care 33:16 of my only child and that was the agreement God and I had. 33:19 I was saying okay God have you failed me? 33:21 Have You come to the point where I am so busy 33:23 working with other people that you have forgotten me? 33:26 This is an agreement you and I had. - You forgot 33:28 to take care of my baby. 33:30 You forgot to take care of my baby, what is going on? 33:32 So the despair just gets out of hand and you don't know 33:34 what to do and so I then started taking her to therapy. 33:37 But the cutting continued and I said okay God 33:39 you are not listening. I'm talking about, 33:41 I'm screaming I'm not even praying anymore. 33:43 Talk about come boldly, I was screaming. 33:46 My family didn't even recognize me because I isolated 33:48 myself because I am a sociable person but when I get 33:51 into a situation like this I don't want anybody around me. 33:52 So I am not even on my knees, I have my head on the 33:56 floor going God this is it? 33:58 You either take me, but please don't 34:02 let me see my child kill herself because that is the 34:04 one thing I cannot bear. 34:05 So I came boldly before Him and said Lord you had to 34:08 work with me. - as you're talking what I want you to 34:11 think about too, and I know you know this. 34:13 There is a lot of people watching this show and a lot of 34:16 people that have kids acting out and are out of control, 34:18 or drugs, cutting and depressed or whatever. 34:22 Getting into lifestyles on same- sex relationship or whatever. 34:26 They are feeling the same way is that they want to throw 34:28 themselves on the ground so as you're talking you know 34:31 that you are talking to tons of folks? 34:32 Absolutely, and the interesting thing was I took her to her 34:36 Doctor, who also is a Christian Doctor, 34:38 and he prescribes some antidepressants. 34:39 They tried one and it was making her aggressive, for the 34:42 first time in her life she's beating people up I'm going 34:44 okay Lord this is not working out, work with me here. 34:47 So they changed her medication and now she is suicidal. 34:50 Just for people that are listening, for you guys, I know 34:53 her daughter and she is so sweet and so when she says 34:56 it's not like her, it's not like her. 35:00 Not at all, this child has never had a fistfight and she 35:02 is having a fistfight over lunch at school, over lunch. 35:06 She is fighting over food and she weighs what 90 pounds 35:09 so it doesn't make any sense. 35:12 I said okay if the medication and we decide to take her 35:14 off the medication and change it to another medication. 35:17 This medication is making her suicidal so the cutting is 35:19 getting worse and now she's talking about ending her life 35:22 and I called the elders of the church and they come and 35:24 pray with her and I'll literally trying 35:26 everything at this point. 35:27 You have never seen a mother so desperate then when your 35:30 child's life is at stake. 35:32 What I did finally is I said okay Lord, I need Your help. 35:35 That night I kept hearing the Lord speak to me and 35:38 He usually wakes me up at the time when He knows I'm not 35:40 awake, four in the morning the Lord keeps waking me up 35:42 and said okay Lord You have to be talking to me because You 35:44 know I don't get up at this time, what's up? 35:46 All He kept impressing me was about anointing, get her 35:50 anointed, get her anointed when all else fails try God. 35:53 Thinking to myself it's so simple, it's what we tell every 35:56 body but sometimes the obvious doesn't come to us Christians 35:59 as a first resort. 36:01 So here I was going okay what am I going to do with my 36:04 child, so I actually called the Pastor and the Pastor 36:06 said I don't think anointing is the right thing to do. 36:09 I said excuse me, you better bring the oil because 36:12 - bring that oil can I want this kid - you bring 36:15 that oil over here because because if you 36:17 don't anoint her, I will, some- body is going to anoint her. 36:19 Son called one of the female elders of the church 36:21 and she said I'll go and do it. 36:23 She was willing to do it but she called the Pastor and 36:26 the Pastor said okay fine I will go. 36:27 So he came over to the house and he anointed her and 36:31 she has not cut herself since Cheri. 36:33 I praise God for this, I know there are times when we 36:37 start to blame ourselves, our first reaction is to blame 36:40 ourselves, where did I go wrong, what didn't I see? 36:44 But the bottom line, it doesn't matter whose fault it is, 36:47 what the bottom line is who can heal this body? 36:49 I and I have to say I love my daughter dearly and if she is 36:53 watching she better know this because to me that was 36:56 probably the most devastating, I'm talking about even at 36:58 her birth being 3 pounds didn't scare me as much as 37:02 seeing my child cutting herself. 37:04 That was more than I could bear, so I can just imagine 37:07 what your family is going through because honestly it is 37:10 devastating, even when I hear other people talk about 37:14 cutting or even families mentioning it I relive that 37:17 moment in my mind, it's just devastating, it's devastating. 37:20 It is so devastating so I just know that if there is an 37:23 audience out there that is going through similar stuff, 37:26 they need to really put this at the foot of the Jesus and 37:28 need to let God be the One to take control because guess what? 37:32 He made you, He is the only One that can fix you. 37:34 I said God if she is going to be for Your glory You have 37:38 got to fix this child because that is Your child, more than 37:42 my child, that is Your child. 37:43 Amen so this show, what's really going to be interesting is we 37:47 are going to close out this show in a different way 37:48 then we ever did before. 37:50 I want to go ahead and teach on the Holy Spirit, 37:53 talk a little bit about anointing and Jeannette 37:56 I would like you to sit up here with me and if you want 37:58 to throw anything in, just jump in. 38:00 But first of all I want to start out with is I had chased 38:05 my recovery for a long time, trying to do the right thing. 38:08 I'm a heroine addict, I had depression, I have genetic 38:11 stuff, I have attachment disorders, and bonding disorders 38:14 and don't know how to trust and all that stuff. 38:16 Homeless for 10 years, I didn't have any skills and didn't 38:19 have anything to pull from and Betty you are talking about 38:24 that sense of being alone, I thought Satan would nail me 38:28 with this image that I was going to die homeless 38:31 on the streets of LA pushing a shopping cart around and 38:34 I would be so afraid, I don't want to die alone. 38:38 It was so scary to me and it was so powerful and 38:41 I remember thinking God, I'm okay I'll try this, 38:44 I'll try this next book. 38:45 I will read some more or have somebody tell me some 38:49 thing and I will try to figure something out. 38:51 And after 20 some years He says, I want to empower you to 38:57 change your life, and I started to really get that 39:00 empowerment to change my life was to get anointed 39:03 and to get baptized through the Holy Spirit to understand 39:07 what Christ meant when He left and said, I'm leaving but 39:11 I want to send to you the Holy Spirit to fill you up, 39:14 to help you get victory over all this junk and I'm thinking 39:18 wait a minute I thought to give victory overall this junk 39:21 was to get good counselor, to get into a good 12 step 39:24 group, to get in a support group or whatever and God says 39:28 you know what, I think God told me I want to heal you. 39:31 I want to be your counselor, I want to be your friend 39:34 I want to be what brings you into recovery. 39:35 So I started to try to get people to anoint me and I am so 39:39 ridiculous, I'm like an addict in recovery and I'm out 39:42 lunch and a little flaky. 39:43 People don't want to work with me, you know that, it is so 39:47 true, I am not exaggerating so I'm telling people you know 39:51 what excuse me Betty would you anoint me because 39:54 I want to be anointed. 39:55 They would tell me you know I don't know can I do that 39:58 or whatever. Mark you work for the conference would 40:02 you anoint me, just pour some oil on me, 40:03 I would like to speak in tongues too because 40:05 travel to different countries 40:06 and I need to know other languages because I minister 40:09 to people and they are looking at me like I don't know 40:12 I mean I grabbed people and one time I am in a Christian 40:15 bookstore and I look over on the shelf and 40:19 there is anointing oil. 40:20 Oh my goodness, you wouldn't believe it. 40:24 I thought if I could ever find someone to anoint me 40:26 I better have some oil just in case they don't have some. 40:31 So I looked at the price $4.95. Shut up how fun is that? 40:36 $4.95 so I buy some and now when I say Mark excuse me would 40:40 you anoint me I had some oil? I would say that to people. 40:44 Oh Jeanette we are friends, I have some oil have you ever 40:48 anointed someone? And I remember just having the oil and 40:51 kept it in the pockets of my jeans or whatever I had on. 40:55 So I had it in my pocket just in case and one day I get 40:58 called to do a mission trip and I want to be anointed 41:01 before I go, I couldn't find any one to anoint me yet, and I am 41:05 in the bathroom and I have in my hand and I'm telling you 41:08 I wanted to be anointed because I believe the Bible talks 41:11 about the power of the Holy Spirit and what God wants to 41:14 pour into us, I believe it is on every page. 41:16 I just wanted it, there were something in me that just 41:19 wanted someone to anoint me. 41:20 I just felt like you know what God? I'm going to anoint 41:25 myself, is that all right? 41:27 I don't even know if that is legal, I don't know if you're 41:30 going to accept that but I beg You please be here. 41:33 So in the bathroom of my house I slap some oil on my 41:36 forehead and said a prayer, on my hands because I said God 41:38 I want You to anoint everything I touch, I want You to 41:41 anoint everything I bring into my life. 41:43 I want you to change me and all the things that 41:45 I fight with and struggle with. 41:46 I beg you, I beg you so I anointed myself and I felt 41:51 fabulous. - I think it is just the desire to give 41:54 ourselves entirely to God, there have been times 41:58 when they pass around the offering plate 42:00 I want to put myself in the there. 42:01 It's like what can I give God that He doesn't already have? 42:05 I would like to get into the offering plate. 42:08 Yeah the deacons can't carry that much weight 42:10 but honestly that is how I feel sometimes. 42:12 You know being in God's work you want to give so much 42:16 that what else can you give? There is not enough in my purse 42:20 that I can give that God would, as far as I am concerned, 42:23 be satisfied, He wants me. 42:25 That's why I am serious I just want to jump in the offering 42:28 plate and say Lord I'm here, it's all of me take it. 42:32 I know it's a little dysfunctional and a little 42:33 ADD, but work with me. 42:35 Well you know what I'm finding out, and were going to go 42:38 to this one, and please I'm not a good teacher. 42:44 I'm not even thinking I'm a good Christian, I just love God. 42:48 And He just loves me and so we are going to go and talk 42:51 about what Christ said when He left is that I want to give 42:54 you the Holy Spirit, I want to fill you up, I want to give 42:57 you victory and the joy of the Lord to be your strength. 43:01 I want to so fill you up that every day you will so almost 43:04 thrilled just to be alive. 43:06 I want to delight in you, sing over you when you sleep. 43:09 All of those things, so I started to look at what is the 43:12 Holy Spirit, what does that mean? 43:13 I'm just going to share with you a little bit of what 43:16 God shared with me when I got anointed. 43:18 The first place is Galatians 5:22, and 5:22 talks about 43:24 the Holy Spirit and the fruit of the Spirit. 43:27 What is amazing to me about that whole thing is that it 43:30 says in 22 "but the fruit of the Spirit is love, Joy, 43:34 "peace, long-suffering, kindness goodness, faithfulness, 43:37 "gentleness, and self-control," oh please give me some of 43:41 that, "Self-control and against such there is no law." 43:45 And I started to look into all of this stuff and 43:48 I get all kinds of books. 43:49 I want to know the original language, what does that mean 43:51 by that, so I want to go over some of the fruits of the Spirit 43:55 Because even with your daughter, even with everybody that 43:58 has talked about doing recovery and what they have dealt 44:01 with, being adopted, being abandoned, and all that stuff 44:05 is that the first thing that God says, if you asked Me to 44:08 fill you up with the Holy Spirit, it is as if Christ is 44:12 literally living in us, God living in us. 44:15 That is what helps people to get victory. 44:18 So the first thing in the Holy Spirit is love, right? 44:21 That is the first fruit of the Spirit. 44:23 I thought what kind of love, so you go back to the 44:26 original language on that kind of thing and what kind of 44:29 love to you think they are talking about? - Godly love. 44:31 Agape love, Godly love and so I am thinking, I have never been 44:35 loved growing up, when I was on the streets the love I saw 44:40 and the stuff I saw on the streets, the relationship 44:42 addiction's and all the junk. 44:43 You see it every day and what you do as far as counseling. 44:46 All that stuff I saw was not agape love, right? 44:50 I for twenty something years in the first part of my recovery 44:54 tried to find it, try to find it within myself. 44:57 Finally the Holy Spirit says you don't even have it in 44:59 yourself, it is not something you have. 45:02 It is not something you can pull up, but I will pour it 45:06 into you freely, freely. 45:08 I'm thinking, Oh shut up, God freely? 45:12 You would give me this as a free gift? 45:16 He said every day, every day but you have to ask Me. 45:20 You have to ask Me every day, not once every 20 years, 45:24 not when you first get saved, but every day. 45:28 I think the only reason He says that every day, is because 45:31 we forget we need it. 45:33 Every day agape love and He says I will pour it into you 45:37 and it will change who you are. 45:39 This is amazing to me and I've just got to read this. 45:42 This is 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 if you want to follow me on 45:46 that. It's talking about love. 45:48 "Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, 45:53 "never boastful or proud, never haughty or selfish, or rude 45:58 "and love does not demand its own way." - I need that. 46:01 Because you know I can demand my own way at times. 46:04 "It is not irritable, or touchy, it does not hold grudges 46:07 "and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong." 46:11 That is amazing to me. "It is never glad about injustice 46:15 "but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. If you love 46:18 "somebody you will be loyal to them no matter what the cost 46:22 "is, you will always believe in him or her and always express 46:25 "the best for him or her and always stand your ground 46:28 "to defend them." 46:30 And I'm thinking what an amazing thing, what an amazing thing. 46:33 So love is the first thing He gives us and I think in that 46:36 gift of love when God says I pour in agape love, we start 46:40 feeling less lonely, more connected to God and it is not 46:45 something I do or get counseling of, or read about or 46:48 understand, is what happens with the baptism of the Holy 46:51 Spirit, with the indwelling of the Holy Spirit because 46:55 of this agape love. 46:56 It's amazing to me, the next one is joy. 46:59 Hello, I smoked weed to get joy but God says that joy that 47:03 you think you're going to find by smoking weed, cutting on 47:07 yourself, getting on porn line getting another woman that is 47:11 hot, I mean all that stuff, that joy is never going to be 47:15 the same joy is what I am talking about. 47:17 Your soul is looking for the joy that I am talking about. 47:21 You don't have it within you to muster it up, I will pour 47:24 it into you, I will give it to you, that's second fruit. 47:27 The third is peace, does anybody need some peace? 47:31 It is huge, absolutely huge, so the next one is peace. 47:35 The next one after that on the fruit of the Spirit is 47:38 long-suffering, what does that mean? 47:41 That's why I think it is funny because some of these 47:43 I don't even know the fruit of long-suffering causes its 47:46 recipient to have forbearance, self-restraint before they 47:50 proceed with actions, to refrain from avenging ourselves. 47:53 You know long-suffering with somebody, if somebody says 47:57 something that wrongs me within my own nature I want to 48:00 pay them back, and sometimes we pay them back by hurting 48:03 ourselves, sometimes we pay them back by doing stuff 48:06 that absolutely is destructive, absolutely. 48:10 God says I will pour into you long-suffering, the ability 48:14 not to have to avenge yourself, to give it to Me. 48:16 The next fruit He talks about is gentleness. 48:18 That is so amazingly cool. The quality of this gentleness 48:23 and kindness is absolutely amazing. 48:25 The next one is goodness, and to me I look at them as the 48:28 same thing and God says they are really different and 48:31 I will teach you the difference of what it means. 48:33 The next one is faith, my absolute favorite one. 48:36 I will give you faith, a deep abiding and firm conviction 48:40 in Me, in how God works, and how all that stuff comes 48:44 about and works and God says, I will give you that. 48:48 I will fill you up with that, and what is really strange 48:51 to me? When I do something like this, and I am so out of 48:55 my element, this is really tough to put a show together 48:58 and have people come on and everybody dealing with 49:00 different issues and people being in different places in 49:02 their spiritual walk. - That' were faith starts out. 49:04 That's where faith starts out, God will pull it together. 49:08 It's amazing when I opened up the halfway house there were 49:10 a lot of things, a lot of challenges that we met up front. 49:13 But it is amazing when you leap out in faith, 49:16 one of the first things I did before I opened the doors 49:18 is I anointed the house. 49:20 I anointed the house but not just the house, every single 49:24 bed, and the anointing was that if this was going to be 49:27 for God that everyone that came through there would 49:31 at least find peace, if nothing else. 49:34 So as they come out it is interesting because every single 49:37 person that has come out of prison and has ended up in that 49:40 house will say, it's not the Hilton but there is a lot of 49:43 peace here, and I said you know what? that little bottle of 49:47 oil goes a long way. 49:48 Sometimes you think it has to be a big event, but just that. 49:51 There's nothing magic in oil, what is magic is in 49:55 the promise of what the oil represents. 49:57 The oil represents a dedication of something. 49:59 The Holy Spirit. - absolutely you are dedicating 50:02 whatever or whomever it is to the Lord in whatever we do. 50:06 It doesn't matter whether it is a new car or house that you 50:09 just bought, even our home when we buy, we dedicate our home 50:12 to God because everything that we have belongs to Him. 50:15 That is what you are doing, you are anointing yourself and 50:18 saying I belong to Him, and everything I do is His. 50:21 Faith is something again we can't muster up, can't muster up 50:25 When you're talking about that when I read in the Bible, 50:28 and I wish I could know offhand where this is, 50:30 but when I read in the Bible the woman with the issue of blood. 50:34 This woman has been bleeding for like 14 years, right? 50:39 14 years, in that culture when you bleed even on your period, 50:42 you were considered unclean and couldn't touch anyone and 50:46 couldn't be around anybody, and I think of loneliness 50:49 and rejection issues at all the junk I deal with. 50:52 This woman couldn't even be touched for 14 years. 50:55 Couldn't be around her family, couldn't have anybody say, 50:58 I'm so sorry what you're going through. 51:00 Couldn't get any comfort and she hears that Christ can 51:04 heal her, and He is going by her and she knows she could 51:07 be stoned to death if she even asked Him. 51:09 Excuse me but can You heal me? 51:11 So she says, if I just fall on the ground and 51:15 somehow get to Him and touch the Him I will be healed. 51:18 That's the gift of faith that God poured into her. 51:21 She got on the ground and she touched Him when He went by 51:24 just the hem of His garment, just a little bit of the bottom 51:27 of His clothes and she said I felt totally healed. 51:31 Christ turns around and says, who touched me? 51:34 But that is the faith and God said you cannot muster that up. 51:37 You can't bring that up within yourself that kind of faith. 51:40 I have to give it to you as a gift and it comes through the 51:43 Holy Spirit, but I died and went back to My Father so you 51:46 could have the Holy Spirit, so ask Me, ask Me! 51:49 It is all you have to do, the Bible also says I so want to 51:52 give you the Holy Spirit more than a parent wants to give 51:56 all good gifts to their children, 51:58 I want to pour it into you. 52:00 That's what this whole thing is about, for you to be 52:02 equipped with the Holy Spirit. So faith is an amazing thing. 52:06 Meekness, mildness, and meekness doesn't mean that I turn 52:11 into a wimp or something, do you know what I mean? 52:13 The fruit of meekness brings a mildness and forbearance 52:19 it is more of an inward grace. 52:21 It's like I actually... The way Christ responded to 52:25 someone, that I actually am gifted with the ability to 52:29 respond to somebody in that way. 52:31 What is amazing is all those gifts of the Holy Spirit, 52:35 Jeanette what do you think of all those gifts, the Holy 52:39 Spirit, the anointing and what God has given us, will take 52:44 any of the issues we deal with and make them not easier, 52:50 because issues are so tough, but put hope in there. 52:53 For the first time in my life, once I understand the Holy 52:56 Spirit and the giftings and what God wants to do with that, 52:59 I have hope. - We talk about faith and we talk about on the 53:03 surface because we put more faith in the therapists and 53:06 medication then in the One who heals. 53:09 And it's amazing that we can have so much faith that if 53:11 I take this little pill I'm going to feel better, or if 53:14 I go to this Doctor is to make, but we don't put faith 53:17 in the Doctor of doctors and say you know Lord, 53:20 You need to handle this. 53:21 We are literally running out of time, we are so out of 53:25 time I want to say you know what, you have to hear me with 53:28 this is that the only thing that truly will actually heal 53:31 us, I'm not putting down doctors, therapists or anything, 53:34 medications we all need those at times and I understand 53:37 that but God says the Holy Spirit and the death of Christ 53:40 and the blood of Christ and all the promises I have given 53:43 you, that brings healing. 53:45 That brings healing and not only temporary healing, 53:47 I would change the very desires that you have, 53:50 and I would change the stuff and anger that dwells 53:53 in you that makes you want to cut, I will change 53:55 the things that get you insecure enough or stressed out 53:58 where you need to be on porn. 53:59 I will change all the junk because I will so fill 54:02 you up with these gifts that you will be a man or woman of 54:06 God filled with joy and loving life. 54:08 We will be right back stay with us. 54:14 Amazing stories, real people in real situations discussing 54:18 issues that really matter. 54:20 A complete first season of Celebrating Life In Recover is 54:23 now available on DVD and can be ordered by calling 3ABN 54:27 or online at 3ABN.org hosted by Cheri Peters. 54:30 This season follows principles of the book 54:33 'Steps to Christ'. 54:34 See for yourself how God changed the lives of the 54:36 convicted and the accused and victims of terrible crimes. 54:39 You won't want to miss a moment 54:41 of these powerful interviews. 54:48 I absolutely love the topic of the Holy Spirit. 54:51 I love the way God works with us. 54:53 I love the way God steps into our life and it doesn't 54:56 matter the story because everyone has one. 54:58 You heard everybody here on the set, and I told you about 55:00 the guy that had the job with darts and he threw them at 55:03 that map and each go anywhere in the United States and 55:06 somebody would have a story. 55:07 God says the stories aren't a big deal to Me, and I don't 55:10 want to discount what people deal with, cutting is a huge 55:13 deal, depression, anger. 55:15 I have dealt with people from domestic violence to 55:18 all the way to people who have murdered their spouses and 55:21 all that stuff and God says you know what? I want to heal you. 55:24 I want to heal you and you don't have it in you to do this 55:28 so I need to pour my Holy Spirit into you and I need to 55:31 change the very way you think and all those things and 55:34 I want to do that, I long to do that. 55:36 We want to judge each other and say that so-and-so has gone 55:42 too far or whatever and God says if you breathing 55:44 you have not gone too far. 55:46 I love the statements in Steps To Christ, in Steps To 55:49 Christ it says, in the massive gift of God's son, and I want 55:53 to say God's Son and the Holy Spirit, God has encircled the 55:57 whole world with an atmosphere of grace. 55:59 As real as the air that circulates around the globe. 56:03 All who choose to breathe this life-giving atmosphere will 56:06 grow into the statue of men and women in Jesus Christ. 56:10 And she goes on to say as the flower turns to the sun, 56:13 the bright beams of the sun may bring out all the colors 56:17 and beauty and symmetry of this flower we should turn to God and 56:20 say, God fill me up, fill me up and change everything. 56:26 I want so much for You to change me, I'm so twisted the 56:30 way I think is twisted, I don't know how to deal with 56:33 anger, I don't know how to do with any of that stuff and 56:36 I need You to heal me. 56:38 And when I talk about the anointing of the Holy Spirit, 56:41 when we talk about baptism of the Holy Spirit, it's simple, 56:44 all you have to do is by the side of your bed kneel down and 56:47 say. I want You, I want You to fill me up with the Holy 56:49 Spirit and I don't want to deal with this anymore. 56:52 I want to go so far beyond my original baptism that 56:55 I am forever changed. 56:56 And with the Holy Spirit comes all the fruit of the 56:58 Holy Spirit and that's love, joy, peace, 57:02 long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith and meekness. 57:07 Wow! I just love that because God says I am going to fill 57:10 you up, I'm going to change you, I'm going to equip you 57:14 with everything you need in order to have the life 57:17 you have always longed for. 57:18 Things that you try to escape will never work but the 57:22 Holy Spirit of God will work and you will feel the joy of 57:25 the Lord and it will be your strength and 57:26 it will change everything. 57:28 We have to go and I want you to know that I was blessed 57:32 by the show and I hope you were. 57:33 We will see you next time and until then always 57:36 remember that God is crazy about you, me too, 57:39 absolutely crazy about you. |
Revised 2014-12-17