Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Christian Berdahl
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR000045A
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00:10 If you feel like you are totally a mess and there
00:13 there is no hope, I've been damaged, you don't even know. 00:16 This program is for you and I know that 00:18 you are going to be blessed. So come in! 00:48 Did you ever grow up in a home where you never measured 00:51 up, where you were mistreated, where you were maligned? 00:53 As a result you felt that God could never 00:56 approve of you? 00:57 Have you committed some hidden sin, harbored hatred, 01:00 and I mean hatred. 01:01 There are times in my own recovery and my own life 01:04 that I just felt like, you know what 01:07 I am just angry at everyone. 01:09 I remember when I first got into recovery, I am thinking 01:13 I just think I'm crazy, I think I have so much junk. 01:17 My parents are addicts, most of you know that already 01:20 and my mom was 14 years old when she had me. 01:24 I grew up in all that kind of stuff, and I get into a 01:27 Christian life and every has, or appears to have, 01:30 this normal background. 01:31 I'm just filled with rage, I'm filled with anger. 01:35 I don't even know it yet. 01:37 First time I went to a counselor he sat there and said, 01:39 you have a lot of stuff in your background, have you 01:42 ever been angry? 01:43 I said, No I don't think so. He's like, Oh my goodness. 01:46 Because obviously I am in denial. 01:49 So have you ever felt like you have so much junk, so 01:52 much anger, so much hatred, so much unforgiveness, 01:56 that even God can't forgive you. 01:58 You are fully persuaded that God is going to somehow 02:02 reject you because of all this kind of stuff. 02:06 Oh man, I felt like that more than anything. 02:10 I was really afraid that if God really knew my stuff, if 02:14 He really knew what I was thinking, if He really knew the 02:17 things that I thought about. 02:19 My dad molested me from 3 months old on, I don't know 02:23 what it feels like to be normal, in a normal relationship. 02:26 My dad dies in a crack house, strung out sexually. 02:28 The more I was surrounded by normal people, that wanted 02:33 me to be normal desperately, you know what I mean? 02:36 I came in and they just said, sit down and be normal. 02:40 The more that anger stuff came up and that wanted 02:43 someone to pay and all those kind of things. 02:46 I just felt like I got more and more twisted in that. 02:51 As God started to love me, and I love in John 4:8, 02:56 is one of my favorite text. 02:58 It is tiny, it says, "God is love". 03:00 So as revealed Himself, not that He made it up, not that 03:05 all of a sudden He came up and said, Cheri I'm going to 03:08 muster up love for you. 03:10 It's like it's who I am, let me show you who I Am 03:12 because in that you are going to start to heal. 03:15 As He started doing that for me, 03:17 it was absolutely unbelievable. 03:19 I watch Him over and over and over again 03:21 doing that for other people. 03:22 I want to tell you one story that just to talk about 03:26 the love of God that I saw recently that was amazing. 03:28 I am working with this kid and 03:30 he is a really damaged kid. 03:33 I met him the first time he is like, I don't know 13. 03:36 Then I met him at 15, and then I met him at 17. 03:39 He is smoking weed and angry, parents are druggies, 03:45 and he is just not the nicest kid. 03:48 But he adores me, do you know what I mean, I just know 03:52 it, I knew it when we first met him it was like for some 03:54 reason, I think it was the God in me. 03:56 You know what I mean, for some reason I trust you and I 03:59 really want a life and I think that maybe you are saying 04:02 that I can have a life. 04:03 So every time I met him, every time I traveled through 04:06 California, that is where he is at. 04:08 Every time I traveled through, I was just couldn't wait, 04:11 I couldn't wait to sit down and hang out. 04:13 See how are you doing and you know I love you. 04:16 The first thing he would say to me is something like, 04:18 you know I am still smoking weed? 04:20 I still love you and somebody may say, you know Cheri, 04:23 can you love somebody smoking weed? Absolutely! 04:25 You know what I mean, that God does or else 04:28 we would be in trouble. 04:29 But anyhow so I invited him here not long ago. 04:33 I said, I am doing some things at 3ABN, would you come? 04:35 Somebody that is smoking weed that is really trashed, 04:39 they look at you like is that allowed? 04:42 I'm thinking, just sneak in the back, you know! 04:45 Yes I want you to come, I want you to be my guest. 04:48 So he comes and I'm thinking that for him to come was 04:52 a big deal, he came with a group of foster kids and 04:54 all that kind of stuff. 04:55 The foster kids and the foster families were having a 04:58 great time about being here. 04:59 We are at the church, we are having an event and he 05:03 sneaks in the back. 05:04 Sits in the very back row. 05:06 He is sitting there and he doesn't want to be seen by 05:10 anyone because he is still smoking weed. 05:12 He is in the back row and he is just adorable kid, 05:16 adorable kid. 05:17 There was a little girl, a little tiny girl and 05:21 she is sitting here and he is sitting and she is in 05:22 front of him. 05:24 She turns around and looks at him. 05:30 And then turns around and starts playing with toys, 05:34 she is like 7. 05:36 He is stop looking at me. 05:38 She is doing something and she turns around an 05:43 looks at him, then she turns around and starts 05:47 playing again, coloring and stuff. 05:49 He is like stop looking at me and by this time 05:52 he can't hardly concentrate on the concert and 05:54 things going on stage because this little girl 05:56 would keep looking at him. 05:57 As he is thinking don't look at me, his palms start 06:01 sweating, and he doesn't know why his palms are 06:04 sweating, it's just a little kid. 06:05 I don't even know her. 06:06 She turns around and she looks at him again, 06:08 and he is like stop looking at me. 06:10 She is drawing on this piece of paper and pretty soon 06:13 she drops the paper on the ground. 06:15 She takes her toe and she scoots it 06:18 all the way across to him. 06:21 Right by his toe. 06:22 She looks at him, and he is like, I don't want to 06:25 look down, I don't want to even look down. 06:27 She just has her toe there, and she is looking 06:31 right at him, and he is looking at her, 06:33 and his palms are sweating. 06:35 He says the entire room feels like he is just, 06:38 what is going on and he grabs the paper. 06:41 It is a picture of him sitting in a chair. 06:44 Underneath it, it says, God loves you no matter what. 06:47 He said, I felt myself heal. 06:51 I felt myself heal. 06:54 This little girl had no idea, but God used her to say to 06:57 this kid smoking weed, in rebellion, is that I love you. 07:02 I don't love you because I have to, I love you because 07:05 it is my nature. 07:06 It is who I AM! 07:07 I wanted to say, I had just finished this book. 07:09 It's kind of a fictional book, but in this book it has a 07:14 description of God talking to somebody about their pain. 07:17 He said, you know a blue bird flies in the window, 07:21 and they are looking at this blue bird. 07:23 He said it is the nature of that blue bird to fly. 07:26 The guy is looking at the blue bird absolutely, 07:31 and when a bird is injured, most birds. 07:34 When they are injured and they don't fly, 07:36 they are handicapped. 07:39 It is their nature, they will always have something in 07:42 their nature that says, hey I am suppose to fly. 07:44 When they see other birds fly by, it is like, I am 07:46 suppose to be flying. 07:48 Just like that bird, it is our nature to be loved. 07:53 It is absolutely our nature. 07:55 So we are born in situations where and places where 07:58 all of a sudden people who are in our lives do 08:00 not know how to do that. 08:01 We will never forget that part of our nature because 08:05 it is our nature to be loved. 08:06 It is our nature to soar that way, it's in our nature to 08:09 be unfolded in that way by love. 08:12 So when we get damaged, when something comes into our 08:17 life and we are mistreated, abused in anyway, we have 08:23 parents that were never loved themselves so they don't 08:25 know how to speak that into us. 08:26 We are handicapped, severely handicapped. 08:31 God said, because I AM God, I know that about you. 08:34 I know that in this area you need to heal. 08:38 Not in all the addictive stuff, in the area you are able 08:43 to bring in and receive love into your life, because all 08:46 the other stuff will fall when you get there. 08:49 So because I know it is your nature, I know that 08:51 I need to heal that part. 08:54 What is amazing to me is that analogy as I am thinking 08:57 about that, I'm thinking I have trust issues. 09:01 So what if God one day decides He doesn't love me? 09:06 Because I am not lovable, and He says, His nature can't 09:09 do that, He is love! 09:11 So it is not that someday He is going to see too much of 09:14 us, or that He is going to understand too much about us, 09:16 or that we are going to be too much for Him and He is 09:18 going to stop loving. 09:19 God is LOVE! 09:21 He is not reliant on us to muster that up, it's His nature. 09:24 The only thing He says to us is that do you trust Me 09:27 enough, and if you don't let me deal with that even. 09:30 Just walk this direction, just come towards Me and I 09:34 will promise you that I will unfold for you all the 09:36 different things in your life. 09:38 I will get you into a place where you can stand in 09:40 front of Me and just be blessed. 09:44 Just for maybe the first time, open up and feel what 09:49 it feels like to actually walk in your true nature which 09:52 is to be loved, and adored, and accepted, spoke into and 09:58 all that kind of stuff. 10:00 We are going to talk, on this program, to a gentleman 10:03 you are going to love. 10:04 About his life and where he came to a place where he 10:07 could say to God, Okay God I am done, I don't even know 10:10 what else to do, please help me. 10:12 I think all of heaven celebrates, all of heaven turns 10:15 around and says you know what, I was hoping you would 10:18 ask that today. 10:19 I am hoping you will ask that today. 10:21 We'll be right back, stay with us! |
Revised 2014-12-17