Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Max Rivera
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR000049A
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00:10 Welcome to Celebrating Life In Recovery
00:12 I'm Cheri your host. 00:13 If you want to see recovery looks like with skin on it, 00:16 this is the program for you. 00:18 You are going to be blessed, come in and join us! 00:48 Welcome back, you know we are going to talk about 00:50 something we talked about in the first season. 00:52 We were talking about the stages of recovery. 00:55 I love learning about addiction, I love learning 00:58 about what happens when somebody finally decides they 01:01 are going to step into recovery, that they are going 01:04 to stop using drugs. 01:06 One of the reasons I love so much is that when I 01:10 first came in to recovery, when I first met Christ, 01:14 when I first realized it was God that said, 01:16 you know what Cheri, I love you and I can help 01:18 you walk through all this. 01:19 When I first realized that I'm like yeah Hoo, 01:22 how fun is that? 01:23 Everything in me was thrilled. 01:26 I was loved for the first time my life and 01:28 somebody had plans for me. 01:29 For the first time in my life somebody was going to 01:32 show me how to live a healthy life. 01:33 But I was told pretty quickly that all you have 01:39 to do is stop using heroine, not by God, because 01:45 God said all you have to do is love Me and 01:47 everything else will fall away. 01:48 His whole recovery program was different but all you have 01:51 to do is stop using heroine, so I stopped and I'm thinking, 01:55 I am still like such a mess. 01:58 I thought ok, well I'm still lying, and sleeping around, 02:04 and messing up, and I manipulate, and I want to steal 02:07 the money out of the offering plate, and it was like 02:10 there was nothing right about that. 02:12 So I'm going to go through the stages recovery, 02:14 for one for people who need to know about that, for 02:17 addicts, for other people out there that somebody lied 02:20 you, said all you had to do is stop. 02:22 If you just stop and never do anything else, your 02:25 life can be so incredibly painful, that you will be 02:28 using in a short period of time just to deal with it. 02:33 So recovery is more than just stopping, and one of the 02:37 books I adore is called, Passages to Recovery, and the 02:42 author says stopping sobriety, abstinence and all that stuff, 02:48 is just the ticket into the movie. 02:51 So if I stop, just like the ticket into the movie, 02:54 it's definitely not the movie you're going to see, 02:56 it's just the ticket to get you in the door. 02:58 Stopping your addiction is just what gets 03:01 you in the door. 03:02 If you stop going online and looking up porn, 03:05 it is going to help you, but it is not what you need 03:07 as far as recovery, there is a lot of character 03:09 stuff that needs recovery. 03:11 So we are going to start with the first stage, 03:13 the transition stage and it's really called transition. 03:17 I'm going to transaction from my addiction whatever it is. 03:21 Whether it is stealing, workaholism, religious 03:23 addictions, I think that is a funny one, 03:25 but they are out there. 03:27 Religious addictions, gambling, drugs, alcohol, 03:30 and chemicals are not the only addictions. 03:32 I mean addictions come in all kinds of 03:34 eating disorders, cutting so I going to 03:37 transition from that into recovery, right? 03:40 But the first stage, I step in, and I tell myself 03:45 I am a prescription drug abuser and I like pain 03:50 medications, but instead of taking ten because I'm going 03:54 into recovery I'm only going to take two. 03:55 That's not recovery, it is that first transition 04:00 stage is saying that I can kind of control it. 04:04 If I am a gambler, I'm only going to gamble on Fridays. 04:08 right? I'm only going to gamble once a month, 04:11 so I have control. 04:12 I'm not going to loose the entire mortgage payment, 04:16 I may lose some of it, but not all of it. 04:19 If I may have an eating disorder, I'm only going to 04:23 over-eat at dinner time, I'm going to control some of it. 04:27 So that transition stage, that first page is saying that 04:32 I have somehow control, which is such a lie. 04:36 It is such a lie, you have no control over addictions. 04:40 Addictions will grab you every time, in every way. 04:43 For a lot of us we don't believe that, every time every way. 04:47 The next stage is stabilization, and I love that because 04:51 just imagine that you are like so, I can't even find balance 04:56 and that is that stage. 04:58 The next stage is an I'm out of control, and I can't 05:01 find balance, and I don't know who I am, and I don't 05:04 know what I'm doing, and I can't control these drugs 05:07 or the sexual addiction, this eating disorder, 05:09 this cutting I can't control anything. 05:11 And that is that stage where you start to admit to 05:16 yourself, and hopefully somebody else, that I can't 05:20 control this I am out of control. 05:22 And if you don't have anyone to admit that to, for one 05:26 admit it to God, because He so knows. 05:29 He knows you are not fooling Him with anything, 05:32 but if you have somebody, a friend, a church. 05:36 A church that you have never even walked into, walk 05:39 into it now and just tell some one I am out of control 05:43 and I need some help. 05:44 So it is just being enabled at the that point just 05:47 stabilizing, just realizing that there is nothing 05:49 I can do to actually deal with this addiction. 05:52 The next part of recovery is the early part of recovery. 05:56 And in the early part of recovery it's like this 05:58 internal change. 06:00 The internal change, let me go back to stabilization 06:05 because here is where a lot of people miss the mark, is 06:09 stabilization, not only am I stabilizing some things in 06:13 my life, not only am I trying to find some balance, I 06:17 may even drink water rather than tequila. 06:20 Shut up, what a concept! 06:21 Do you know what I mean? 06:23 When somebody tells me, well I can't stomach water, I'm 06:27 like you can down any kind of alcohol on the planet, but 06:31 don't give me water, because you will acquire a taste for it. 06:34 That it is like during that time, during that time there 06:38 is always a neuro chemical stabilization that happens, 06:42 that I have been tweaked, my serotonin, melatonin my 06:47 neuro chemistry is out of whack. 06:49 I have pathways in my brain that will lead me to places 06:54 that are so awful that I have to have my brain rewired. 06:58 I hate to even say this out loud, for non-addicts it 07:01 just kills them to hear this, especially family members, 07:04 especially somebody's mom. 07:05 It usually takes from 8 to 18 months to stabilize 07:09 neuro chemically, to get your mind back, to get 07:13 out of that kind of chemical fog, because we 07:16 have tweaked everything. 07:18 The reason I want to say that out loud is somebody 07:21 around you, the people around you, the church 07:23 around us wants us to step in, come up to the altar 07:27 accept Christ and then be good. 07:29 I want too but it doesn't happen and you know we 07:32 can be better, we can have our hearts changed, we can 07:35 desire this more than anything, but there is a time 07:38 factor in recovery. 07:40 There is that internal stuff that literally starts 07:44 changing, and you know I've seen God do miracles in 07:48 somebody has just got poof right away. 07:51 I want to kick that person, no I'm sorry, 07:54 but it doesn't happen, that doesn't happen every time. 07:58 For most of us, God allows us in His mercy to walk out 08:01 of recovery and I think that is so we can get spiritual 08:04 legs underneath us, and we can love on somebody that 08:07 has to walk out their recovery. 08:08 Because we have some empathy for them. 08:10 So that stabilization period, there is more to it 08:14 than just a behavioral stabilization, we are getting 08:19 our body back, we are getting our liver back, 08:20 We're getting our spleen back, our arteries and everything are 08:25 clogged up, we haven't been eating right, thinking right, 08:29 drinking water, we haven't done any of that. 08:31 During that stage hopefully you have somebody that 08:34 is really good around you, mentoring you, they are going 08:37 to tell you take care to yourself during this stage. 08:40 Eat and Apple, well you know I don't like apples, 08:43 Krispy Kremes, eat an Apple! 08:47 you know what I mean and this is like, 08:49 so that stage is just like that. 08:52 The next stage is mental recovery and this is 08:54 external change, this is the recovery that 08:56 everybody on the planet is waiting for. 08:58 Where we walk up to somebody and say you know, 09:00 I'm sorry for stealing your car, you know what I mean? 09:04 It's that stage and it may not be stealing your car, 09:07 I'm sorry for having an affair, I'm sorry for the way 09:10 I have been manipulated and lied to you your whole life. 09:13 I'm sorry from stealing from you, I'm sorry I blamed 09:17 you my whole life, that I always thought we your fault. 09:20 And I'm sorry for that, it's a stage where in a recovery 09:23 program they call it making amends. 09:25 It's that place where you come up in just realize that, 09:29 man I think it was me. 09:31 It is such a healthy place to be, and it doesn't 09:34 feel good at first. 09:35 I mean for an addict when we get to a stage where we 09:37 realize it might have been me, we want to use. 09:39 I want to do something to make that pain go away when 09:43 I realize that every single thing I put on you, 09:47 I think it was me and I'm so sorry. 09:50 That external thing is where I'm going to start 09:53 coming out, and I'm going to start on the outside 09:56 trying to make it right. 09:58 On the outside trying, where I can, and don't 10:01 do it everywhere. 10:02 If it is going to hurt somebody for you to make it 10:06 right, if you have, I met somebody that stabbed and 10:10 raped a woman and in their amends they wanted to go 10:13 back and deal with this person's family, don't do that, 10:16 Because you know they have struggled, and been in pain 10:19 and have dealt with this their whole life and it may not 10:22 be appropriate for you to do that. 10:24 If the Holy Spirit leads you in that way go in that 10:27 direction, but if He doesn't, don't do that, just 10:30 make amends where you can and leave it with God in 10:33 places where you can't. 10:34 But it is really a place to look at the external 10:36 relationships, it's a place to also even developed some 10:40 of that, it is so fun to be able to say, you know what 10:44 I'm sorry and I love you. 10:46 I love you and you are saying that not only to your 10:49 spouse's you are saying that to your mom, your dad, 10:52 your sisters, your friends, the person at the corner 10:55 store that you use to rip off every week, 10:57 you are saying that to them. 10:59 You are kind of going around and doing that and 11:01 somebody says why do I have to do that? 11:04 Because it is good for you, it's good for them too, 11:08 and I don't want to discount that part. 11:10 It is good for them for somebody to all the sudden 11:13 hear you say and acknowledge the fact that you know it 11:16 wasn't okay, but it is good for you to say it. 11:19 And when somebody responds to you, you get to feel that 11:22 gratitude, it is good for you to learn to receive that. 11:26 I mean there is something I think that God puts in our 11:29 recovery process that as we do it you can feel, 11:33 this is what health feels like. 11:36 All of a sudden you look at somebody that you have 11:40 apologized to, that you are, I don't have to prove 11:43 myself to you and that rebellion comes up and I say 11:47 do I have to prove myself to them? 11:48 Not really but you really have to kind of show them 11:51 that you are trustworthy now, and as you do that the 11:55 respect comes to you there is something that happens 11:58 to us when we learn how to receive respect, 12:01 or receive love. 12:02 A friend of mine had a prison, Maranatha Prisons 12:06 in California, his name is Terry Morlan. 12:07 Terry if you're out there you know I love you. 12:09 But he had this prison in California and one of the 12:12 first things he did, because he's a Christian Guy 12:15 an incredible guy, is he put the persons name, 12:18 every inmate had their name on there. 12:20 If the guard didn't call them Mr. Smith, Mr. Rodriguez, 12:26 Mr. whatever, if the guard called them inmates, 12:28 they would be fired. 12:30 This is a human being call them by their name. 12:34 It was, the theory was if I can teach you to receive 12:37 respect, and you feel what that feels like, you will 12:41 long to give it. 12:42 It is not that I am going to demand respect from you 12:45 because you don't know how to do that, I am going to 12:47 teach you to receive it. 12:48 So that is that stage and it is really an incredible stage. 12:52 Late recovery, I love this and at this point in recovery 12:57 I want to kiss God on the face. 12:58 I wanted to say, you know what, how cool are You? 13:01 Because you know what at first I thought recovery was 13:04 that I just get to walk away from all this junk. 13:07 I get to be free from the bondage of lying, and 13:10 manipulating, and depression, and generational junk that 13:13 has just been thrown at my family, I am free from that. 13:17 I'm thinking whew, thanks, but that is not it. 13:21 Late recovery God is going to show you who you are. 13:24 What life is about, how to laugh out loud, how to feel 13:28 good your own skin, and I'm thinking are you kidding me? 13:32 Are you kidding me I took piano lessons and drawing 13:35 lessons, I'm getting in a kayak this year. 13:38 I'm learning how to play golf, I learned how to 13:42 actually be present with my husband and be in a 13:45 relationship that is amazing. 13:47 I have gotten to be married 20 years and I know 13:50 what it feels like to be a healthy woman of God, 13:52 in love and enjoying life. 13:54 I wouldn't trade my life or anything, 13:56 but this is late recovery. 13:57 This is the recovery process where God just gets to 14:00 show you what happens if you were never damaged. 14:03 What happens if you never got involved in the 14:07 addictions, the dysfunctions in early childhood, 14:11 what happens if that was all gone for you. 14:13 What is really fun is that it is amazing, if you haven't 14:16 got there yet ask the Holy Spirit, take me there. 14:20 And if you still have work to do, if you still have 14:24 stuff to do in your recovery, spend ten minutes a day 14:28 on that and the rest of the time learning who you are, 14:32 because you know we spend all the time learning about 14:35 our addictions, looking at our junk, looking at molest, 14:38 and I think all of heaven just says, I can't wait till 14:41 we are done with this. 14:42 At least a little bit done what this because you know 14:45 what you had have the best laugh ever. 14:47 I love the way you think about things. 14:50 I love the talents I've given you. 14:52 I love who you are and I want to show you some of that 14:54 because you don't know. 14:55 So that is that part, maintenance is I am learning to 14:59 balance life, I am learning to live life day and day 15:02 without addictions, without all that kind of stuff. 15:05 I'm laughing out loud, I'm learning what I'm good at, 15:09 I'm also edifying and lifting people up around me, 15:12 because I want them to know what they're good 15:14 at and about life. 15:15 If I have people who are addicts in my life, 15:17 my heart breaks for them. 15:20 I used to want to use, I see someone smoking a 15:23 cigarette and I would think oh man I just wish they 15:25 give me one of those, but now I want to save their lungs, 15:29 to actually say you can do some things with those lungs 15:33 that are fun. 15:35 Or you can trash them either way. 15:37 But it's like you get to a point where you your 15:39 maintain all that. 15:40 I want to introduce you to some acquaintance, I want to 15:44 call them friends because I see the Holy Spirit in them 15:48 and God in them, but I want to introduce you to a friend 15:51 of mine that you will kind of see in his life, you will 15:55 see you will see this whole process. 15:58 We're not going to stop and go over the stages, we are 16:00 not go look at all that kind of stuff but you'll see 16:03 the process of recovery in his story and you will see 16:06 how God has just loved on him. 16:08 So stay with us because you are going to be blessed, 16:10 Blessed I'm telling you. |
Revised 2014-12-17