Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Dave Casey
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR000103A
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00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues
00:03 related to addictive behavior. 00:05 Parents are cautioned that some material 00:06 may be too candid for younger children. 00:11 Welcome to "Celebrating Life in Recovery." 00:12 Today, I'm gonna introduce you to my friend Casey. 00:14 He spent 24 years of his life in prison 00:17 and he is a big guy, full of anger. 00:21 And now he is working for God. It's a cool story. 00:53 So welcome back. 00:55 We're talking about, on this program, 00:58 a part of recovery that a lot of people don't cover 01:00 'cause, you know, and I've said this before, 01:02 I get off heroin and somebody said, "You stop doing drugs 01:05 and your life is gonna be perfect." 01:08 And so I stopped. And I was crazy. 01:11 You know I--you know, I'm crazy. I don't know how to act. 01:14 I don't know how to be in relationship 01:16 and I watched that time and time and time again. 01:19 You have people that-- you know, this whole series, 01:22 this whole season is about what hijacks you. 01:26 And you have people that have been hijacked 01:28 with various addictions from the time they were little kids, 01:31 you know, some pre-teens, some even, 01:35 you know, in dysfunctional homes and crazy environments. 01:38 They've just learned, 01:39 you know, distorted thinking and addictive thinking, 01:42 and they can't really trust anything. 01:44 And so when they start their addictions, it's really early. 01:46 It might just be television. 01:48 It might be that they escape into books. 01:51 It might be that, you know, they get into high risk, 01:53 you know, skateboarding or video games 01:56 or entertainment and then its drugs. 01:58 Or may be it's just power stuff. 02:00 You get into a gang and you pull a gun the first time 02:02 and you realize how much power that gives you. 02:04 The adrenaline's up and it's seductive 02:07 and so all of that kind of stuff 02:09 happens early on in someone's life. 02:12 But then, somebody convinces you, 02:15 hopefully, God himself. 02:16 You know, the Holy Spirit convinces you, 02:18 "You know, this isn't life and you can do recovery." 02:21 And you step in and your expectations of stepping in 02:24 is, "Once I get rid of a few of these things, 02:28 everything's good." 02:29 I don't know even how to communicate, 02:32 how to socialize, how to be with a group of normal people. 02:35 You know, I don't know how to sit there 02:37 and have a friendship without, 02:40 you know, let's go smoke some weed or, 02:42 you know, let's go do some of that kind stuff. 02:43 And so this first part of recovery 02:46 or the-- kind of the first part of recovery 02:49 and we've said about even in the first season 02:51 I talked about stopping a drug 02:53 or an addiction is like buying a ticket to a movie. 02:59 It's not the movie, it's just the ticket. 03:02 Do you know what I mean? 03:03 So when we stop, it is just the ticket. 03:05 When I step into the movie, I'm gonna see the whole thing. 03:07 When I step into my life, I'm going to experience 03:10 what this means to actually change. 03:12 And so the first thing is that we realize is 03:14 that we don't know how to do relationships. 03:16 We don't know how to do the day. 03:18 I don't know how to time manage. 03:20 I don't know how to, you know, I don't know how to eat right. 03:22 I don't know how to even go to bed on time. 03:24 "What do you mean I have to go to bed now?" 03:25 The rebel in me wakes up 03:27 and says I go to bed when I want to go to bed. 03:29 Well, if you don't go to bed, you're gonna be exhausted. 03:32 Then you're gonna want to do a lot of caffeine. 03:33 Then you notice that your whole addiction starts over again. 03:36 So in recovery, one of the things 03:39 that is really important is to find out what hijacked you. 03:42 What addictions you literally got lost in, 03:47 what gave you a lot of pleasure, what told you, you were okay, 03:50 what comforted you 'cause you got to get rid of those. 03:54 And then there's that part of your brain that brings comfort, 03:57 it's really exhausted. 03:59 And you got to start teaching it. 04:01 You got to start teaching yourself, 04:03 how to find pleasure or comfort with normal things. 04:08 You know, sometimes, you know, we forget 04:11 when you walk out and sit outside, 04:13 you can start listening to the sounds around you 04:16 and it's really cool, you know. 04:19 I'm sitting there and I'm not thinking about 04:21 everything that happened in the last 10 years. 04:23 I'm not thinking about how afraid I am 04:26 'cause I can't do this recovery. 04:27 I am listening to a bird in the distance. 04:30 I am feeling the sun on my skin. 04:33 And that part of my brain 04:34 that gives me pleasure starts to heal 04:37 and starts to say, "Hey, this is really cool," you know. 04:41 And those things really seem simple 04:43 but those simple things in recovery are life changing. 04:47 They mean everything. 04:48 When I am with a friend 04:50 and we're just sitting there talking, 04:51 I have to learn that I don't need that high, 04:56 that hyper intensity in a relationship. 04:59 I can actually just kind of hang out with friends 05:01 and talk about I can't even say normal things. 05:04 See the first part of recovery 05:05 I don't know what normal things are. 05:07 Somebody would be talking about their day 05:08 and I am talking about the first time I committed suicide. 05:11 Yeah, that changes the whole conversation. 05:13 So it's like being able to even learn those simple things. 05:16 And it is a process and what I love about God, 05:20 you know, 'cause we say in this program 05:22 that one of the first steps is to know you're powerless. 05:24 I mean, you are powerless. You cannot do this. 05:26 If you could do it, you would've done it. 05:28 So you are powerless. You turn it over to God. 05:30 And I have to know that God is big enough 05:34 that He can teach me to enjoy life on life's terms. 05:38 What's really crazy too 05:40 is that I am learning all this kind of thing. 05:42 I have to learn simpler things. Get out and walk. 05:44 That is the coolest thing. Get out and walk. 05:46 Don't think about your day or your life 05:49 or what you are trying to recover from. 05:51 Think about what's happening around you. 05:54 Listen to what's around you. 05:55 Listen to the car go by, 05:57 listen to the wind, listen to birds, 06:00 whatever but try to get right in the present. 06:02 And that's a really hard thing for somebody, 06:05 and addict of any kind to learn. 06:07 It's just try to be in your own skin 06:09 and enjoy where you're at. 06:10 In those pleasure centers 06:12 that part of your brain starts to heal itself. 06:14 There is-- and a thing 06:17 that happens in life for normal people, 06:19 they are really good at this, I hate that. 06:21 But there's a thing that happened in life 06:23 and life is kind of up and down. 06:25 I mean, you know, some days it's okay, 06:27 some days it's not. 06:29 You know, some days, everything 06:30 that could go wrong goes wrong, you know. 06:32 And some days, it's all right. 06:34 You know, the kids are behaving or, you know, my job is okay. 06:39 You know, the people that I need to talk to, 06:42 answer the phone and get back to me, 06:43 all those kind of things. 06:45 But that doesn't happen every day. 06:46 Some days none of that happens. 06:48 But for an addict, when that doesn't happen, 06:51 we think something is horribly wrong and we need to use. 06:55 You know, I need to drink again 06:56 or I need to get online and do some porn stuff 06:59 or I need to smoke some weed or, 07:02 you know, I start fantasizing about the old lifestyle 07:05 but I think of those normal life, 07:09 the normal things that come up that are a little harder, 07:11 I think about them as triggers for me to use. 07:15 And what I need to do in that part of recovery 07:17 after I stop the addiction is I need to learn that, 07:21 that's just everyday life. 07:22 Everybody deals with that stuff. 07:24 And I got to get tools to deal with that stuff. 07:27 When I can't pay the bill that month, 07:30 you know, that happens to a lot of people 07:32 and not everybody slams heroin because of that. 07:34 You know, I would do that. I would go and use. 07:37 And so now I have to learn what do you do 07:40 when you are stressed, 07:41 when it's a real issue and it hits me? 07:43 I have to have at least 5 to 10 things 07:46 that I learn to do so that I'm not going to use. 07:50 When somebody gets in my face, if I have a power addiction 07:53 and I'm trying to learn to be in a relationship 07:55 and give somebody the respect they need, 07:58 it's hard to do, 'cause I want them to shut up 08:01 and listen to me. 08:02 I just-- if you just shut up, 08:04 you will know what I'm saying. 08:06 Well, that's not how to communicate. 08:08 But I have to learn how to communicate. 08:11 And I have to learn that it might be 08:12 easier for me to know that, that person is not being heard 08:16 because they keep repeating themselves 08:17 so they're not feeling heard and I need to ask him, 08:21 "What are you saying exactly 'cause may be 08:23 I'm not understanding what you are saying?" 08:24 And that's really tough for somebody with a power addiction. 08:28 But I'm gonna learn all of those kind of things. 08:30 And I'm telling you God is just amazing 08:32 at the ability that He has to give us those tools. 08:36 And we get those tools either by joining a group. 08:39 That's the coolest place to get them. 08:41 'Cause if I'm in a group and I tell the group, 08:43 "You know what? I have a heard time with listening." 08:48 I think my husband would love me to join that group. 08:51 But I've have a heard time with listening 08:52 and the group will hold me accountable. 08:54 If I get an accountability partner that I can call and say, 08:57 "You know what? I am afraid a lot of the time. 08:59 Or I am angry a lot of the time." 09:01 And so you kind of start to get people 09:04 that you can call or work with 09:05 or somebody that would give you some feedback 09:08 but all of that's important 09:09 because you have to pretend right now 09:11 that you are like a baby on a tricycle. 09:14 You can't even get a bike yet 09:16 because you don't know how to ride a bike. 09:17 And that's really tough for addicts 09:19 because we've bee taking care of ourselves a long time 09:22 but all in this addictive way. 09:24 And I want to say good on you that you survived that. 09:26 But now you got to learn some different things. 09:28 There's gonna be a day and I loved this part 09:31 'cause it was a day when all of the sudden 09:33 I realize that you know what? 09:35 I think I am over that, 09:38 having to operate in my life in this addictive thinking, 09:40 in this crisis mode or whatever. 09:42 And now I am actually enjoying relationships 09:46 and the sun and normal hobbies 09:49 and normal kind of crisis and I can deal with that. 09:53 And I have the tools to deal with all of that. 09:56 But all of that takes time. 09:58 It takes a lot, you know, well, I shouldn't say a lot of time. 10:01 For me it took a lot of time 10:02 just 'cause I had so many issues. 10:04 For you, it may not take as much 10:05 but give yourself the time 10:08 that you need in order to learn how to communicate. 10:11 Get books, get sponsors, jump in a group, 10:15 ask God daily, "Fill me up with Your Holy Spirit 10:17 and teach me today what I need to learn." 10:20 And He is so gracious to do that. 10:23 As you do that, the biggest thing 10:25 that you got to know is there's not that outward changes that, 10:29 you know, as soon as you get off the drug, 10:31 you get these huge changes in your life. 10:33 I mean, your body starts to kind of get reestablish. 10:38 Your health may come back. 10:39 People start trusting you. You're making amends. 10:41 You're doing all that kind of stuff 10:43 that you need to do as an addict. 10:44 And you're working on that. 10:46 But in this part of your recovery learning 10:48 how to be normal, the daily stuff. 10:51 What happens is stuff that you can't see. 10:54 Your neurochemistry starts to reestablish itself. 10:57 Your pleasure center starts to learn 11:00 how to find pleasure and comfort with normal things. 11:04 I don't have to over stimulate my brain. 11:06 I'm using my frontal lobes. 11:08 None of those kind of things you can see 11:10 but it all happens during this part. 11:13 You know, somebody asked me 11:15 and I hate to even tell you this 11:16 but they were having some real struggles with-- 11:19 now how do you say this in a nice way? 11:21 Some kind of sexual stuff, I'll just say that way. 11:24 And so they asked me, "What do I do? 11:27 I'm really struggling." 11:28 And, you know, that guy is in ministry 11:30 and he's got this long history. 11:31 He's dealt with a lot of this stuff 11:33 and he still has this sexual issue. 11:35 And so I immediately prayed, "God, 11:36 what do I tell him?" 11:38 And a stupid thing came to my mind, it was just crazy. 11:41 God said, "Tell him to make his bed every day." 11:44 And I'm like, "What?" 11:46 You know, he's talking about his sexual addiction. 11:48 He's talking about, "You know, this has got me wrapped up. 11:51 I feel like a fraud. I don't even know what to do." 11:54 And God said, "Tell him to go to bed. 11:56 At the same time, get up every day and make his bed." 11:59 Any kind of disciplined behavior 12:01 where you start to get used to disciplining yourself, 12:05 don't try it with your major addictions 12:07 'cause you may not be successful there but make your bed. 12:10 I mean, that's a simple one to start 12:12 but it will teach you to be disciplined 12:15 and how ridiculous is that? 12:17 But I'm telling you, if you are out there watching 12:19 and you are struggling, make your bed. 12:22 Everything matters right now. 12:24 Everything matters at this stage and learn-- 12:27 allow yourself to learn to do the little things. 12:31 And pretty soon, the little things 12:33 will bring you comfort and pleasure. 12:35 And you won't have to run to your addictions. 12:37 And it happens over time 12:39 and God is amazing as He allows that to happen. 12:43 And it feels good. 12:45 So when it starts to-- when you start to notice it 12:49 and you feel good in your own skin, man, it's awesome. 12:53 We're gonna take a break. 12:54 I'm gonna introduce you to our guest, unbelievable. 12:57 I thought I saw a lot, 12:59 this guy, he's over the top. Stay with us. |
Revised 2014-12-17