Participants: C.A. Murray (Host), Cheri Peters
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR000110B
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00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues
00:03 related to addictive behavior. 00:04 Parents are cautioned that some material 00:06 may be too candid for younger children. 00:17 Welcome back again. 00:18 The book for the season is a "Celebration." 00:20 And it's really interesting, C.A., 00:22 because I don't know-- 00:23 I am such an addict in recovery. 00:25 I really don't do anything normal, 00:28 you know, I'm finally growing up some, 00:30 you know, all of those kinds of things 00:31 but I feel like I am somebody's momma, 00:32 trying to teach the stuff. 00:34 But it's really good stuff. 00:35 So I am going to tell you acronym for CELEBRATIONS is-- 00:39 every letter means something. 00:41 So C is for choices, E is for exercise, 00:44 L liquids, then Environment, Believe, Rest, Air. 00:49 And we talk about air like I try to figure out 00:52 it's not just you know, 00:54 that you know, like environment. 00:55 It's not that you just want to have 00:56 a nice environment and go out to a nice lake. 00:58 You want to have a nice environment in your head. 01:00 Yeah. 01:01 You know that craziness in your head or in your soul, 01:04 that guilt and shame 01:05 you want to clean that stuff up. 01:07 And so air the same way 01:08 as that you want to be able to say, 01:09 I want to be able to breathe and I wanted to fill my lungs 01:13 and be able to move nutrients or whatever through my body. 01:16 But I want to emotionally breathe too. 01:18 You know when we are in depression 01:20 our breath is shallow and all that kind of stuff. 01:22 So we're teaching it on different levels. 01:24 After air is T for temperance. 01:27 Who know what that means. 01:28 Temperance is that we are 01:30 you know, everything is kind of imbalance. 01:33 You know, we have to balance to our live. 01:35 O is for optimism, that you know, 01:36 hope does restore your bone. 01:39 I mean its like-- What about the I? 01:40 Oh, I is for integrity. 01:42 There you go. Wow. 01:44 Well, you know, integrity is tough one. 01:46 It's who are you really? Yeah. 01:48 You know, you're the same, 01:49 you know, in your home as you are on the outside. 01:51 And so it's just like, who are you really? 01:53 And if that matters, work on that. 01:55 You know just be able to do that with your recovery. 01:57 Again, you will never recover 01:59 if you don't get some of this stuff down 02:01 because you'll hold down to your journey for a while 02:05 but then you just relapse 02:06 because this stuff has to become real. 02:08 So optimism, nutrition is a big thing, social support. 02:11 I need to have friends, I need to know how-- 02:14 if I don't know how to do it, 02:15 I have attachment disorders and bonding disorders 02:18 and all that kind of stuff, I am socially underdeveloped. 02:21 But what God said to me almost right away 02:23 is learn to let people in, learn to let people love you 02:27 and learn to love other people. 02:28 And in that there's healing that happens. 02:31 If I know you and I am in trouble 02:33 and you're my friend then you can stop and say, 02:35 hey, Cheri, I think you are in trouble. 02:36 And the Bible talks about if one man falls 02:39 and you have friends around you 02:41 they are gonna help you back up again. 02:42 Yes. Yes. Yes. 02:43 So social support is important. So all of those things work. 02:46 I am thinking on the converse, I guess it means sometimes 02:49 that if you've got some toxic relationship 02:51 you got to jettison those things, 02:52 you kind of let them go. 02:53 Yeah. Yeah. 02:55 And it's really tough, you know, 02:57 when I came off the streets 02:59 the one guy that I was with most of my life 03:01 was a guy name Tommy. 03:02 And I would say, in my life I loved him. 03:05 I had been with him forever. 03:06 And he didn't get off drugs and I left and went to school 03:10 and decide to find God, 03:11 and one day he shows up in my mom's house. 03:13 And he shows up and he's so high, 03:16 can't even hardly see in. 03:17 He looks at me and he says, Cheri, 03:19 I can't do this without you, you have to come back to me. 03:22 And I hear God say, walk in the house, 03:24 just walk in the house. 03:26 And I wanted-- more than I wanted to breathe 03:28 to walk right up to him and live with him. 03:30 And I knew that I would die with him if I did that, 03:33 and God says, you go in the house and shut the door. 03:35 And I turned around to walk to the house 03:37 and I told him, I can not stay out here 03:39 and you know what, I have to do recovery, 03:43 I can't come back. 03:44 And I turned around and he said, 03:45 would you at least hold me? 03:47 And God said, if you hold him, you will die with him. 03:51 And I said, I cannot. 03:52 And I walked in the house 03:53 and my legs collapse underneath me 03:55 and I fell on the ground 03:56 and I just wept and wept and wept. 03:58 So in those social things 04:00 that you learn to take care of yourself with, 04:01 is some of them is gonna be so hard to walk away from 04:05 but you gonna have to. 04:06 And then when you grab hold of somebody, 04:08 grab hold of people 04:09 that are fighting for the recovery, 04:10 fighting for the relationship with God 04:12 and doing the right thing, its you. 04:15 Absolutely it's you. Yeah, that is powerful. 04:17 And not to believe is from what at this point 04:19 I think optimism comes into the realization 04:22 that okay, its dark now 04:23 but it's not gonna be dark always. 04:24 Amen. 04:25 You know you got to try to find some sunshine 04:28 and gravitate towards that. 04:30 I had to look at you know, 04:31 I had to look at God saying that, 04:33 you let me show you who you are 04:34 the day after resurrection. 04:36 But you know, sometimes the only thing 04:38 I can hold on is the day after resurrection. 04:40 I am not an addict in recovery, 04:42 the day after resurrection 04:43 I am not unwanted child, an abused child. 04:46 The day after resurrection 04:47 I am an incredible child of God, 04:49 innocent and beautiful beyond what I can imagine. 04:53 And sometimes that's all I can hold on to 04:54 but I hold on to that with everything in me. 04:57 But then because of my life 04:58 and my friendships are healthier 05:01 I can just laugh out loud with people 05:03 that I have in my life. 05:05 I have cool folks in my life. 05:06 I mean, I think you are awesome. 05:08 You know, our momma is awesome. 05:10 You know, we have just incredible folks around us. 05:12 So now we're gonna go into talk 05:14 about folks around us. 05:15 Yes. Yes. You know. 05:17 I interviewed a friend of yours. 05:20 Yeah, a friend and a co-worker. 05:21 Someone I have known a long time, 05:23 been at his home, eaten at his table, 05:25 know him well on a certain level 05:27 but found out a little bit more. 05:29 And of course, you know, 05:30 we use the term, man up. 05:32 You know, we use that terms 05:34 sort of pilots for the day. 05:36 He did so because he bought some dark stuff out. 05:38 And you worked with and talked with Ralph Sanchez 05:42 and it was really a powerful, powerful program. 05:43 Who is incredible about you know, 05:46 we're gonna look at a roll and we're going to use-- 05:48 look at Ralph talking about 05:50 he was a perpetrator with domestic violence. 05:53 And but you know, what I-- 05:54 I hope people dwell with that is he watched his dad 05:58 beating his mom his whole life growing up. 06:01 I mean, that's what he learned 06:03 and really just said, I don't want to be that. 06:06 And yet he became everything that he didn't want to be. 06:08 And we're gonna look at Tracy, 06:11 a friend of mine goes to the same church 06:12 and Tracy was just crazy, crazy. 06:16 Strung out on meths, staying up for days, party demons 06:20 and literally coming in by watching 3ABN, you know. 06:24 Found 3ABN, found Celebrating Life in Recovery 06:27 and the only thing that helped him to stay sane 06:30 during his journey back to God 06:32 was the fact that he could turn the television on and loud, 06:36 listen to somebody speaking the Word of God 06:39 and it really bought him back into recovery. 06:40 Powerful. 06:41 Wayne Blakley coming out of the gay culture 06:45 and trying to figure out who he is. 06:47 Who he is and is it-- 06:48 I hate when people talk about coming out 06:50 of homosexuality or whatever 06:52 because I want to just say, shut up, 06:54 do you think that's all it was about? 06:56 And even with Wayne it's so clear, 06:59 his dad wasn't around, 07:00 he wanted a male to love him his whole life, 07:03 he wanted a dad to hold to. 07:04 He never had that and had an abusive mom. 07:07 And his story was amazing. 07:08 So I want you to watch this. 07:10 And again, this was an incredible season. 07:15 I remember one time that we were into it 07:20 and my wife at that time-- she's no longer my wife. 07:23 My wife at that time wasn't my mom. 07:28 Yeah, she was not an enabler person 07:30 or maybe she was but not in the same way my mom-- 07:32 She was going to stand up to you. 07:33 Yeah. 07:34 She's isn't gonna take any old thing 07:36 that comes from me or anybody else 07:39 which in a long way I think is a good thing. 07:41 But at the moment in those moments 07:43 it was fuel to a fire. 07:46 One time I ran into the bathroom during this thing 07:48 and pushed her so hard, 07:50 she was standing in front of sink. 07:52 She flew across the bathroom and into the tub. 07:55 I think that was probably the second 07:56 or third time that, that happened. 07:59 And immediately after she landed in the tub, 08:01 the way she landed she was all contorted 08:04 and I stopped and I looked at her. 08:05 And for the first time I became aware 08:09 of just how lucky I would be 08:12 if she haven't broken her neck. 08:14 Driving a car, driving to town and I'm just acting insane. 08:18 There's static all around my body, 08:20 I feel like something clinching in around my throat. 08:23 And I am wonder, how much power do they have? 08:25 Can they choke me up? 08:26 And my fear was that they were working for, 08:29 they wanted me to deathly afraid of them and they won. 08:32 As soon as I am afraid they are winning 08:33 because I am not thinking about God, 08:34 I am thinking about fear and them and-- 08:37 I tried to wash the static off my car, 08:39 I tried to throw the floor mat out 08:41 because I could feel it was super heavy. 08:43 I knew the demons were on this and that, 08:45 and it just made me look insane. 08:46 And I passed four police officers 08:48 on my short driving into town and back, 08:50 I realize the devil setting me up 08:51 for a really dumb fall here, I am gonna go jail for... 08:54 So I come back home and the shadows-- 08:56 as I pull up underneath streetlights 08:58 they are getting dim and dark 08:59 and as I turn my head 09:00 the shadows are moving slowly behind. 09:02 They are not behaving normally and they are taunting me 09:06 and I'm just you know, panic. 09:07 And so I think I got to call someone 09:08 or call the pastor or call my mom. 09:10 I called my mom, that's who I call. 09:12 And I called her and I said, 09:13 mom, I am under attack by the devil, pray for me. 09:15 And she just started praying so powerfully 09:17 and I just started crying, you know, 09:18 because now I had an accountability partner. 09:20 Now I can repent to God because mom's asking for me 09:23 and it meant something this time. 09:25 I wasn't so much a person 09:26 who could have been a gay activist 09:28 but I told my parents when I came back 09:30 I can be an activist for Jesus Christ 09:32 and if that means that I loose my life that way 09:35 I couldn't think of a better way to go. 09:36 Amen. 09:38 And you know, that-- 09:39 what an incredible saying this as you know, 09:40 what I am so passionate about this 09:42 and who God is and vindicating His name in this issue 09:46 that I can't shut up, I can't stop. 09:49 But here's the caviar to that, I hope this doesn't happen. 09:53 But I like to put this out there 09:55 for people to think about today. 09:56 Don't put me-- this is not about Wayne Blakley, 09:59 this is about Jesus Christ. 10:01 And Wayne Blakley is still human, 10:03 he's still fleshly, he's still tempted. 10:06 What if I had a fall? 10:08 Are you gonna run from me or you gonna run to me? 10:10 Run to help. Yeah. 10:16 Powerful, powerful. 10:18 And so contemporary and so now 10:21 and so wired world is and so what is needed 10:25 by society around us and in the church. 10:27 You got people who on their knees praying 10:28 and then getting up and doing some really dark stuff 10:30 because Christ never got through him and gotten in. 10:34 So we see that against other's hope 10:37 because if they can get heal, hey, I can get heal too. 10:40 You know, and we-- and you know 10:41 that we get those emails all the time. 10:42 We get I think people saying you know what, 10:45 I was exactly right there and heard you guys speak that. 10:49 And so somebody says, why do we do this program? 10:51 Why do we these shows? Why do we do these testimonies? 10:55 Are you kidding me? 10:56 Everywhere I go there are these wounds 10:59 and the only thing that's gonna get us out of that 11:01 is if we start saying to each other, 11:02 you know what, I've been there. 11:04 And this is what God did in my life 11:06 or this is where I am at right now. 11:07 And if we keep saying that out loud 11:09 then the world gets a message 11:10 that God is still doing miracles 11:11 and so is able to bring you out of those things. 11:13 You know, it's here, Cheri. 11:14 In my first church I pastored a fellow, 11:17 big guy, 6'5", 200 something pounds, 11:19 have this very thin, simple wife 11:21 who was uneducated when he married her. 11:23 He brought her to the States, 11:24 she went to school got her BS in nursing 11:26 and got her Masters in nursing 11:28 became a nurse practitioner, sharp. 11:31 So she wasn't the woman he married, 11:33 he married a servant. 11:34 He married somebody cook his food, 11:36 clean his clothes. 11:37 Now he's got a nurse practitioner 11:40 who's a sharp mind, much-- 11:41 when he's thinking about it she's already said it. 11:43 So he resorts to violence, 11:45 he's wrapping her in the phone chord 11:47 and beating her with the plastic receiver 11:48 and all that kind of stuff. 11:49 And as a young pastor I simply was not equipped, 11:51 I didn't know. 11:52 And her dad was saying, well, this is your cross, 11:54 you got to stay there 11:55 and take that, that kind of thing. 11:56 And you know you get all this kind of stuff. 11:57 So there are people out there in churches 12:00 who are dealing with this stuff 12:02 and don't have answers as just-out-of-school 12:05 freshman pastor I didn't-- I didn't have the skills. 12:09 So this is very necessary and very powerful 12:11 and very important to what's going on today. 12:13 Amen. Yeah. 12:14 And you know when we do that the skills 12:16 we are good at it. 12:18 We are good at loving each other 12:19 when we know what to say 12:20 because we want to say the right thing 12:22 and we want to do the right thing. 12:24 You know, we talked about 12:26 all the different folks in this program 12:28 and I want to go over again 12:30 that we're doing a health message, 12:31 we're looking at it from a health perspective 12:33 because there are stages in recovery. 12:36 And we've talked about that before in the program, 12:38 there's you know, there's this stage of coming in 12:41 and just seeing you as you are looking at it 12:43 and trying to bargain with God. 12:45 You know what, if you get me out of this one, 12:47 I'll never do it again or whatever. 12:48 So there's initial one, if you get me out of this one 12:51 I'll take care of my liver, 12:52 if you find another liver for me 12:54 I'll be good, I won't drink. 12:55 But we do that whole bargaining thing 12:57 and then we step out and we try to educate ourselves 12:59 on the addiction and I'm what-- 13:01 what has to our body and what's happen to us 13:03 so with our disconnect. 13:05 And then the next stage is that I may make comments 13:07 with the people around at me. 13:09 I may call up and say, you know what, 13:11 I am sorry that I ripped your car off, you know, 13:13 I am sorry that I slept with your wife or whatever, 13:15 I'm sorry about all that kind of stuff. 13:17 We do that on the stage and make it immense. 13:20 The next stage is we start to look out 13:22 maybe how our past has influenced us, 13:26 maybe what I learned, like Ralph Sanchez, 13:28 when he watched his dad beat his mom. 13:30 I learned some pretty twisted things 13:32 and so I start to look at that. 13:33 And in the final stage, the maintenance stage 13:36 is I start to take care for myself in establish, 13:39 a life worth celebrating, a life worth living. 13:42 And so maintenance part of that, 13:44 all of the part of recovery is important 13:47 but we forget that last part of it, 13:49 it say-- And that is simple stuff, 13:51 exercising, eating right, doing the things 13:53 that we're talking about on this program, drink water. 13:56 Do you know most of time 13:57 if you see me drinking anything it's water, 13:59 I don't drink sodas, juices, any of that kind of stuff 14:02 because I really found out 14:04 that if I am thirsty I can drink water 14:06 and it's not only gonna heal me 14:09 but it's gonna help me to think better, 14:11 my body to function better, all those kind of things. 14:14 And so maintenance part of our recovery 14:16 is to do the right thing. 14:18 Take piano lessons, take out lessons, 14:21 learn how to play golf, hit a bicycle, 14:23 I mean, all of that kind of stuff. 14:25 And so this is the time 14:26 when I am done looking at all that stuff, 14:28 I am starting to now look at what do I want. 14:30 The integrity issue came on, you know. 14:33 Yeah. Who am I really? 14:34 And if I am not that really, 14:36 what steps do I take in order to be that, you know. 14:40 If you not-- and who are you fooling? 14:42 You know, the Lord knows and you know in your heart 14:43 so why even waste the energy, 14:46 consume that you playing that game? 14:48 Just get real and get clean. 14:50 Is it harder to get clean 14:53 or once having gotten clean, to stay clean? 14:57 It's a good question. 14:58 But you know they say that-- and somebody says, 15:00 what do I do so I don't relapse? 15:03 And the answer to that is do absolutely nothing 15:05 and your pain will takeover and you will relapse. 15:09 Your dysfunction will takeover if you do absolutely nothing. 15:13 And so the main it says, is that the next step 15:16 if I am going to hold on to this 15:18 I have to learn to live my life in a healthier way. 15:22 And most of us don't know how to do that. 15:24 So it is harder to do that. 15:26 But in a sense it's so much more rewarding 15:28 because I all the sudden sit up straighter, 15:31 my relationships are more real. 15:33 When I laugh I hear myself 15:35 and it shocks me that it's so cool, it's so real. 15:38 And so that's the part of maintenance 15:39 that is worth fighting for is everybody wants a real life. 15:42 We all want to be normal, 15:44 we all want to have happiness or whatever. 15:46 Yeah. 15:47 What if this is way to get that? 15:50 It's huge. Yeah. 15:51 You can get used to misery 15:53 just because it's the known for you 15:55 because you did it for so long 15:56 but nobody wants to be miserable. 15:58 Absolutely. 15:59 They want to be clean, they want to be happy. 16:01 It's just, I don't know the tools, I don't how. 16:04 And I think that's why this program 16:05 with over these nine seasons has been so valuable 16:08 because if we heard something 16:09 from the consumer, from the audience is, 16:11 I see that there are others and I see their path 16:14 and it let's me know that there's a path for me. 16:16 And if that's the only thing it does 16:18 that it is of inestimable value 16:21 because it shows other there's a way out. 16:23 Yeah. 16:24 And I am gonna fight to get that, I am doing it. 16:26 So the next role I love. 16:29 You know, there's Adam, Jim and Fran. 16:32 And so Adam, the first time I meet him, 16:35 we're talking away and it's just all good 16:37 and he's a gangster 16:38 and you could-- not typical background 16:41 but a typical background for a gangster. 16:44 You know, watching his mom getting beat, 16:46 not been able to help his mom, he's just a small child. 16:49 And then he says one day I'm-- 16:51 if fighting with somebody and he got really vicious. 16:54 But one day fighting with somebody 16:55 and I looked at him and said, you know what, 16:57 tonight one of us is gonna die. 16:59 He hasn't killing someone. 17:00 And at that point I don't even know 17:02 what to say at that point. 17:03 But his joy of getting back to a point 17:07 where he becomes human again and can feel remorse in 17:10 any kind of way is absolutely amazing. 17:13 Jim talked about trying to kill himself 17:16 and he quoted suicide for years. 17:18 His only hope was in death because he knew 17:21 that death was gonna give him the way out, 17:22 the break that he needed. 17:24 And then Fran, my favorite. 17:26 Fran is our creative director at True Step Ministries 17:29 and she is so normal its ridiculous. 17:31 We put-- you put us together and she's been 17:34 she was born and raised in this incredible home, 17:36 she had-- she's the leader of our church. 17:39 She is the woman who does everything well. 17:41 She can do a sermon that will knock your socks up. 17:44 And then I found out in my interactions with her 17:48 that she's a religious addict and in denial 17:50 and she has to break that denial. 17:52 And I watch her do that. 17:55 And she's the one that I told you, 17:56 she's Bob's wife and she said, 17:57 you know what, maybe the cross was over killing on my behalf 18:01 because I didn't need the blood of Christ. 18:04 And so her coming back and needing that, 18:05 absolutely powerful program. 18:08 And I want you to enjoy this rolling. 18:09 But this-- these three really got to me. 18:13 Well, all of them got to me. Just enjoy. 18:20 I got real violent, really, really violent. 18:22 I just-- because all I felt from the moment 18:27 I woke up until the moment I went to sleep was hate. 18:30 I used to like sleeping because it was the only time 18:32 I can get rest from myself, other than that being high. 18:36 Yeah. 18:38 And so I really look forward to go and sleep in day 18:41 but I just-- I was so angry, and I grew up in you know, 18:46 in a place where that was okay. 18:48 It was okay to be violent. 18:49 It was okay to be you know, just go out there 18:55 and have the attitude that killer bee killed. 18:58 So explain that, some people they're gonna have no idea 19:00 what you are talking about 19:01 and some people they know exactly 19:03 because they've grown up in the same place. 19:05 Just growing up in a lower class neighborhood, 19:07 that's how everybody was. 19:09 You had to survive. 19:11 I get on a school bus, we lived in a well community, 19:14 the nearest ambulance was 30 miles north of me, 19:16 the nearest ambulance-- 19:17 excuse me, hospital is 80 miles south, 19:19 it was nothing but woods and cow pastures 19:22 and so there wasn't a lot of people around. 19:24 I knew when I was gonna die, I knew where I was gonna die, 19:27 I knew how I was gonna die. 19:28 So I had that all planned out. 19:30 I got off the school bus, the bus driver said, 19:32 have a great weekend and drove away. 19:35 I went inside, I initiated my suicide plan, 19:38 I went into my bedroom, I wrote out my suicide note. 19:41 I grabbed my report cards, I went into the bathroom, 19:44 I got a drink of water 19:45 and I look at myself into mirror 19:46 and I'm thinking, I am looking at a dead person. 19:49 I remember looking at my eyes knowing 19:50 that I am gonna be dead within the hour. 19:52 I went into where the guns were kept, 19:55 I pulled out a 22 caliber rifle. 19:57 People sometimes have made fun of me, they've said, 19:59 why don't you used a larger gun, 20:00 you really didn't want to die. 20:02 Because that was the only gun 20:03 that I can smuggle out of the house. 20:05 If someone had not been at home 20:06 I would certainly used the larger gun. 20:09 I mean, that was how intense I was. 20:10 Right. 20:11 I had to admit that in my prayer time 20:16 there's never anyconfession, almost never. 20:20 I could think of anything to confess. 20:22 I mean, occasionally I have critical time 20:24 or sometimes I'm impatient. 20:27 I've never seen that. And-- Yeah. 20:30 I mean, so once in a while 20:31 there's some small thing to confess 20:33 but generally there's not. 20:34 And for-- if I were honest I would have to admit 20:38 that for me the cross felt like overkill. 20:42 Wow. 20:44 So what do you mean by that, the cross felt like overkill? 20:46 Like did you have to actually go that far? 20:49 God had to pour out all of heaven 20:52 and Jesus had to die 20:53 because I am sometimes impatient? 20:56 You got to be kidding me. Wow. 20:58 That's worth-- I mean, 21:00 I don't think I had ever said that to myself consciously 21:03 but when I was really honest 21:05 looking inside that's what I saw. 21:09 Wow. Very powerful story. 21:12 Explain to me, Cheri, 21:13 you use the term before, religious addiction. 21:16 You know, religious addiction, 21:18 and I just say with that Fran says 21:20 what she calls it approval addiction. 21:22 And so what-- from the time she was little 21:25 she realizes she wasn't the cool kid, 21:26 that she never fit all that kind of stuff. 21:28 Even that her prom date asked someone else to go 21:32 and she thought that okay, 21:34 because I am putting the prom on. 21:35 You know, they're just enjoying 21:37 there in the dance, I am putting it on. 21:39 And she would do things, she was the smarter kid, 21:42 she was the one that-- was more together. 21:44 I know what I am saying, 21:45 I can actually run things and put things on 21:47 and organize things and so I don't have to worry about 21:52 or get in touch with how lonely I am, 21:54 how much I've missed. 21:56 And so she went from that to running proms 21:59 and that kind of stuff to being the best in religion. 22:02 She could give the best sermon, 22:03 she could give the best 22:04 as far as unfolding the scripture. 22:07 She can do so well, C.A., that you would say to her 22:09 after she was done with the sermon is like 22:11 how did you get all of that from that verse. 22:14 Good on you. 22:15 But she does it in order to get that, good on you. 22:19 That's amazing. 22:20 And not that she consciously does it 22:22 but religion and work and those kind of things 22:25 really get her to where she doesn't feel her need 22:29 for interaction towards connection. 22:30 So real need then is approval 22:32 and the vehicle to get that is doing religious stuff 22:35 so people say, oh, you are really, really great. 22:38 That kind of stuff. Exactly. 22:39 And not even realizing that. 22:41 And which really interesting a better religious addict 22:44 is when you break denial on that 22:46 is that you feel some sense of, did I use God? 22:49 No, no, no. You were that-- our damage is so intense. 22:54 Why we chose addictions are so intense 22:56 that we will choose whatever works. 22:58 And religion works for some people 23:00 but it's not gonna work for long if it's not real. 23:02 And God said, let me break denial 23:04 not to cause you pain but just to make it real. 23:07 With the religious addict, their children usually act 23:11 just like drug addict children. 23:12 They'll start drinking, they'll start running away, 23:14 they'll start doing all that stuff. 23:15 And Bob and Fran kids had all that, 23:18 they got in trouble in that way. 23:19 And so even thought it was religiously looking all good 23:23 is why the kids acting out. 23:25 Well, because it's addictive. 23:27 I think we can see, Cheri, 23:29 that this is a powerful series of programs 23:32 that really follows into trajectory of the eight years 23:36 have preceded as far as Celebrate 23:38 Life in Recovery is concerned 23:39 but also take us into a new level, a new arena 23:43 and not just-- I am not gonna do this, 23:45 I am not gonna go back but I am gonna forward 23:47 in a very strong and positive way. 23:49 And it really think about, I am gonna think about it. 23:51 I am gonna intentionally structure my life 23:55 in a way that I can maintain my recovery. 23:57 Yes. 23:58 Intentionally I am gonna get up. 24:00 And it's ridiculous when I think-- 24:01 when I talk to health nuts 24:03 they say, get up and drink a couple glasses of water 24:05 in the morning and I am thinking, 24:06 I don't want to, I want a pastry, give me a donut. 24:09 You know what I mean? 24:10 But if I do that I am in trouble. 24:12 So even when I don't want to do the right thing 24:15 I am gonna do the right thing 24:16 because I'm finally understanding and knowing 24:20 that if I am gonna do long term recovery 24:22 I am gonna have to change not only the desires 24:25 to do the wrong thing, I am gonna change 24:27 the desires of what tastes good, 24:29 what is good, all of that kind of stuff. 24:30 Yeah. Yeah. 24:31 And not to get preachy but 1 John 1:9 comes to mind. 24:34 I was talking to some the other day. 24:36 If we confess our sins 24:37 He's faithful and just to forgive. 24:38 Well, forgive is good, and it's necessary. 24:40 But if He left you there 24:42 He haven't done anything for you. 24:45 And to cleanse from all unrighteous. 24:47 So I get forgiveness then I get cleaned up. 24:49 And that's what this occurs to me 24:52 is that we got the forgiveness, 24:54 we got to pass other way now I need to get clean 24:56 so I can go on in the future. 24:58 And that's crucially important. 25:00 We're gonna take a break, come back for the close. 25:02 And you know what, 25:03 I think we just need to wrap all this up 25:05 because it's good stuff and I am gonna 25:06 sound like your momma when we come back. |
Revised 2014-12-17