Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Brad Peters
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR000112A
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00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues
00:03 related to addictive behavior. 00:05 Parents are cautioned that some material 00:06 may be too candid for younger children. 00:11 Welcome to Celebrating Life in Recovery 00:12 and my name is Cheri, your host. 00:14 So today I'm gonna interview my husband 00:16 and you're gonna talk about that, aren't you? 00:18 I am. 00:19 You know what, God can use the craziest thing 00:22 to get at you and change your life. 00:24 Come join us. 00:54 Welcome. 00:55 You know, we're on-- I got to say we're on season 9, 00:58 which is amazing. 00:59 We just celebrated our 100th episode 01:02 and for a lot of you, 01:03 you know that when we started 01:04 this people were saying, 01:05 nobody's gonna want to hear about addictions, 01:07 nobody's want to hear about all that junk 01:09 but people are healing by the thousands. 01:12 I can't even tell you the emails I get, 01:14 somebody saying, you know what, 01:16 I didn't think I was gonna make it 01:17 and I miss it in the each and every guest 01:19 and I got something from that 01:20 and it gave me strength to find God 01:22 and hold on and to step out of you know, 01:25 whatever the addiction it was, 01:26 whatever the junk was and reconnect 01:29 with those who they loving the people around me. 01:31 And it was just been amazing, 01:32 this season we're looking at celebrations, 01:35 we're looking at the health message 01:37 and don't turn the channel, 01:39 the health message is a good thing. 01:41 And I always, I ran from that forever, 01:43 I just thought, you know what, 01:45 I just need to stop heroin and I'm gonna be fine 01:47 but God in the last 30 years of my recovery-- 01:51 somebody say, amen. 01:52 Amen. 01:54 Thirty years of my recovery, all of a sudden He says, 01:56 you know what I want you to look at, 01:58 you know, the joy of the Lord is your strength an optimism 02:02 and rest and exercise and all that kind of stuff, 02:06 social networking, how I connect with everybody 02:09 all that stuff. 02:10 And so right now, on this week 02:12 we're looking at exercise 02:14 and exercise is really crazy because you know, 02:17 sometimes we're getting in front of the computer 02:19 and well, we'll be going on and on about 02:21 whatever would join a group 02:23 we'll do a Bible study but we're not moving our body, 02:26 we're not doing what we need to do in order to... 02:29 kind of bring in the complete health in our lives. 02:31 Exercise is more than just physical movement, 02:34 exercise in your choices, 02:36 what you do in your life all of that kind of stuff. 02:39 And I want to introduce you this week 02:41 to the man of my life, my husband. 02:46 Brad, thank you so much for being on the program again. 02:48 Hey, love. 02:50 Okay, it's really cool to have you on the program. 02:52 But you know, for you and I, 02:55 I get diagnose with cancer a while back, 02:59 and so I get diagnose with cancer, 03:01 I'm freaked out and you know, 03:03 I'm so freaked about that, that I just think I want wine. 03:06 I mean, I got off for-- our home was, 03:08 for 10 years I'm on the streets, 03:10 my family have dealt with addictions our whole life 03:13 and I finally find Christ, everything comes together 03:15 and the doctor says, hey, you got Leukemia. 03:17 And I'm like, shut up, there's no way. 03:20 You know, and I call people, 03:24 I talk to people that all have this really sad thing. 03:27 Like one person decided to fly up. 03:30 I'm doing a gig, a teen retreat 03:34 with David Asscherick and you know, 03:35 Leo Schreven and you know, high energy folks 03:39 and I just got cut in, cut open 03:42 and diagnosed with cancer and I'm trying to figure out 03:45 what I feel about that 03:46 and all of a sudden this person flies in 03:48 with the same cancer I have but they are close to dead 03:52 and they say, you know what, 03:53 I just wanted you to know what's coming. 03:55 And I'm like, well, thank you. 03:57 You know, and I'm just like, 03:58 'cause I'm hearing all this stuff 04:00 and finally I call a group 04:01 from the Leukemia Society that says, 04:05 we do marathons and cycle 100 mile century 04:11 rides on bike and we do all that kind of stuff, triathlons 04:15 and why don't you just come join us, 04:16 'cause here's the fun way of dealing with cancer. 04:19 So I tell Brad I come home and I say, Brad-- 04:22 We're running a marathon. And I weigh 247 pounds. 04:27 He was much bigger than you're now. 04:28 And I'm gone, does this look like a marathon in body. 04:32 I'm like, we're doing it, hon. 04:33 Yeah. We're doing it. 04:34 So we end up training for this marathon 04:36 which was ridiculous but we ran the half marathon, 04:40 I go to the doctor 04:41 'cause my leg hurts after that, you know. 04:44 And he says, you just got a total hip replacement. 04:46 Are you an idiot? You cannot run marathons. 04:49 And I'm thinking, can you call me an idiot 04:51 when I'm paying you, 'cause I'm just saying. 04:54 And so he just says, you can't run marathon. 04:56 So we went ahead and grabbed bikes. 04:59 And the first time I got on a bicycle, 05:02 you know, road bike, 05:03 I felt like a 12-year-old kid again. 05:04 It was so cool and but then I rode two miles 05:08 and I thought I was gonna die, 05:09 couldn't breath and, you know, all of that kind of stuff 05:12 but you and I went into training, 05:14 started riding bikes together, started playing more. 05:17 Yeah, yeah. 05:18 And now, the first ride we did, talk about that. 05:23 The first ride we did which was really fun, 05:24 through the Leukemia Society ride was... 05:26 a 100 miles around Lake Tahoe. 05:28 In California. 05:29 In California, and I don't know 05:31 if you're familiar with Tahoe or not 05:32 but this is a mountain lake ride, 05:34 there are mountains that go up to, 05:36 I think they go up to about 9,000 feet. 05:38 I mean, 8,000, 9,000 feet. 05:41 And so its 100 mile ride, there's a big climb 20 miles in 05:44 and you go into Truckee and then at mile 81, after-- 05:48 What's called America's Most Beautiful Bike Riding 05:50 and it really is-- It really is beautiful. 05:52 Theirs is Emerald Bay, I mean, Lake Tahoe, 05:53 its gorgeous and so you'd seen this incredible scenery 05:57 on the right hand side the whole time. 05:58 I don't mean to interrupt but you're my husband so I can. 06:01 Oh. 06:02 So we get, we're doing this bike ride 06:04 and we get into mile 81, I'm dying, 06:07 81 miles I just rode. 06:09 All at once. All in one day. 06:11 All at once and then I see this hill in front of me 06:14 and its seven miles long, just going up. 06:18 And I wanted to cry, I kind of looked at Brad, 06:21 like, Brad, I'm not gonna make it. 06:23 I mean, I just not gonna make it. 06:25 And he said, you're gonna make it. 06:27 And then and you're gonna tell this part of the story 06:29 'cause it was a ridiculously cool. 06:31 I wanted to kiss you on the face and say 06:33 that you are everything to me. 06:35 And to me, to me it's really fun about this 06:37 and looking back on it I believe 06:39 God was starting to let her know 06:41 of my involvement in the ministry, 06:43 actually symbolically. 06:44 And there's a connection here so stay with this. 06:47 You lost me, now go ahead. 06:49 We're 20 miles into the ride, right? 06:51 Twenty miles into the ride and we're going along 06:54 and I see a really large person on a bicycle 06:57 and a little tiny person on the bicycle ride next to him 07:00 and they're riding along 07:01 and the little tiny person has her hand 07:03 on the back of the large person. 07:05 And I'm looking at that of the corner of my eye 07:07 and you know, in big groups like this 07:09 you're by people for five miles at a time. 07:11 There were 4,800 riders. 07:13 Yeah, yeah, it was a big ride, big ride. 07:15 And so I just like, what are you doing? 07:17 And the small person says, oh, I'm pushing him. 07:21 Would you like me to show you how to do it? 07:23 'Cause there's a little technique involved, 07:25 it's not super complicated but when you're riding bicycles 07:27 you just try to push a person next to you. 07:29 You got to pay attention or there's gonna be trouble. 07:31 And so she showed me at that point 07:34 the technique for pushing someone. 07:36 And in the back of my mind 07:37 I'm also thinking there's a hill at mile 81. 07:40 You were thinking that then? 07:41 I'm that then. 07:42 And I just have a fuming, 07:44 someone might need a little boost. 07:46 And so what was really amazing-- 07:47 How could you not let him? Oh, sorry. 07:49 He was at mile 81, 07:51 I knew we were at a place like that 07:52 and so I just said to her, 07:53 okay, baby, we're gonna do this. 07:55 And I'm gonna push you up to the hill. 07:57 And so I put my hand on her back 07:59 and you grip the handle bar certainly 08:00 and do what you did and we went to seven mile hill. 08:03 And he pushed me the entire way up this hill 08:06 and women were going by saying, can I borrow him? 08:09 Can I have him? And I'm like, not right no. 08:11 After the or maybe. 08:13 And it was like, people were riding saying-- 08:17 'cause it was so incredible, I wouldn't have made it, 08:19 how'd you not decided that I'm gonna push you. 08:22 And they were times that you were shaking 08:25 because it was not an easy thing to do 08:27 to push somebody up a hill. 08:28 And there were times he was shaking but man, 08:30 we made it, 100 miles, 08:32 that was our first kind of thing together 08:34 where we really went out and celebrated. 08:38 Celebrated something together and to me, 08:40 and we symbolically, 08:41 I just want you to know I have your back. 08:43 Okay. Because I did all the way up. 08:45 All right. 08:46 So it was really interesting as far as that side of it 08:48 but since then what's happened is 08:50 I've gotten involved weird schedule 08:52 I was so busy its very difficult for you too, 08:54 do the-- take the amount of time, 08:56 it takes to stay involved in a ride that large, 08:58 although you do still continue to ride regularly. 09:01 I've become actually a coach for the Leukemia Society 09:03 and for the team and I ride a few thousands miles 09:07 every year on my bicycle. 09:09 But what's really funny for men and women 09:10 they've decided to do this together 09:12 'cause we're talking out exercises, 09:13 find something that you love, 09:15 find something that you can do together 09:16 really be blessed 'cause it changes you, 09:18 it really, it brings and play and it brings and whatever 09:22 but I didn't know at first men ride different than women. 09:25 You know, men, they want to get on their bikes 09:27 and they want to do time trials, 09:29 you know, we want to go out 09:30 and we want to see how fast we can get 09:31 from point A to point B. 09:33 Women want to go out and talk about, 09:35 we want to chat. 09:36 We want to talk about, oh, I love you baby, 09:39 and we want to-- you know, 09:40 kind of talk about the sun and you know, 09:43 isn't that-- look at that tree, 09:44 have you noticed that tree before. 09:45 And guys were like, you know, what tree? 09:47 We're trying to get from point A to point B. 09:49 And so Brad and I actually have to tell each other 09:52 we're gonna go out for a casual ride 09:53 or we're gonna go out for time trials. 09:55 And if I know that I bless you, 09:57 if I say time trials I can see you go goose bumps. 10:00 I want her, she's amazing. 10:02 But if you know that I just need to chat 10:05 you can also bless me with that. 10:07 And as we figured that out, 10:08 it's been a blessing for both of us in a couple of ways. 10:11 One, I start to understand 10:13 what it is to meet your emotional means which, 10:16 okay, guys, I'm speaking to the guys for a second. 10:18 You need to take care of the emotional needs 10:21 of your wife, okay. 10:22 Can I write down that, hon? 10:23 'Cause I just want you to sign that. 10:24 I know that's really profound 10:26 but I'm just saying, I'm just saying. 10:29 But then the other side, two is-- 10:30 But let me just finish that because one of the things 10:32 that I thought was interesting is as Brad, 10:35 'cause Brad wasn't a Christian and you guys know that 10:37 from the time that you did the program before, 10:40 is that he wasn't a Christian 10:42 for the first 14, 15 years of our marriage 10:45 and so when he became a Christian 10:47 and started to meet my emotional needs 10:49 I wanted to show him everything that a wife is. 10:53 I wanted to be all of that for you 10:55 so it is a win-win situation. 10:58 That when I feel loved and cherished 10:59 and taking care of then I want to show you 11:01 all the respect that you deserve as a man of God 11:04 as a spiritual leader of the house 11:06 so really it does work. 11:07 Oh, it does, it does. 11:08 Everybody wins when that happens. 11:10 And then we'll spend fun too, it's have been a few times 11:12 when you've chose to take my challenges 11:14 I'll put it out that way. 11:16 She's always surprised 11:18 at how much stronger you are than I think you even realize, 11:21 you're incredibly strong and so to do something 11:23 and we'll finish and I said you realize 11:25 that it fastest you've ever ridden 11:26 we've a little ride we do all the time. 11:28 It's the fastest you ever done or broke 14 miles an hour, 11:31 you know, average and stuff like that. 11:33 And so that is really fun. 11:34 So now that I know you can do it, 11:36 I'm not gonna let you stay around. 11:39 There's no long backwards-- 11:40 So I want to get into something that happened to you recently, 11:42 'cause it's not been an easy road even as you stood up, 11:46 but you know, we play golf together, 11:48 we go bike riding together, 11:50 we do a lot of things together now 11:51 and just for the exercise portion of it. 11:54 But within the last year or so you'd been hit 11:58 with some pretty hard things and we've talked about that 12:00 we just did British Columbia camp meeting 12:02 and you gave a concert and gave your testimony. 12:04 Can you go there for us? Sure. 12:06 This has been a hard couple of years for you. 12:09 Definitely a year and a half. Absolutely. 12:11 And so for those who've kind of had the opportunity 12:15 to see the appearances I've done here 12:17 which for me it been a tremendous blessing 12:19 but they've kind of been able to watch 12:20 my journey a little bit. 12:22 And I started out like I think the first show 12:24 I ever did here was about me 12:25 just standing up as a man of God 12:27 and what does mean and you know, 12:29 I did a whole weeble-wobble, 12:31 the little weeble toys that kids used to have 12:33 and the matter was the wobble but they won't fall down. 12:35 All right, every one know what I'm talking about? 12:37 Okay, well, that's me. 12:39 I still haven't fallen down 12:40 but I'm still wobbling around a little bit. 12:42 But so the question was just about standing up 12:44 than I think the next stage and we did a show on anger. 12:47 You know, and really my journey 12:49 was discovering the tremendous anger 12:50 that I had carried around. 12:52 And I've got rid of most of it who was interesting 12:54 and had a incident happened last week 12:56 and looking back on, it was oh, I got little angry, 12:59 not much but that the impact 13:01 it had on me was tremendously negative. 13:04 But so that show was on anger 13:05 and the fact that with God's grace 13:07 and tremendous healing-- 13:08 For people that haven't seen the program 13:09 I just wanted to recount that you know, 13:11 my family are druggies and lost in addiction 13:15 through generation, I shouldn't say druggies, 13:16 I love my family but they've lost in addiction. 13:20 Your family, your dads an engineer, 13:22 your mom is a violinist, 13:23 she did an ambassadorship for Bangladesh. 13:26 We going in and helping 13:29 with the kind of rebuilding the country 13:31 after a civil war, I mean, all that kind of stuff, 13:33 so your family is way different than mine. 13:36 Educators, you had an incredible family. 13:39 Yeah, I had a very, very... 13:42 standard American middle class family. 13:44 You know, and we did tremendous things, 13:46 tremendous things. 13:47 But the issues in my family 13:49 as I found out later were anger, 13:53 definitely some addictive been towards alcoholism, arrogance. 13:56 Arrogance, oh, sorry, did I say that? 13:58 Yeah, arrogance. 14:00 You know, pride issues, being judgmental you know-- 14:04 And even we add some points like 14:06 you've been coming from my family 14:07 I'm strung out and homeless 14:08 and all that kind of stuff 14:09 and as I learn to read, at 23 I was illiterate, 14:13 as I learned to read went back to school, 14:14 got in nursing his dad would say something, 14:16 he, not knowing my background his dad would say, 14:19 you know what, his talking about an addictive, 14:21 and he says, why don't they pick themselves up, 14:23 stop using and get on with your life. 14:25 And I'm thinking probably from the womb 14:27 they didn't have a father, from you know, 14:29 they've addictions all their life 14:31 and I want to strangle someone, 14:32 I want to say how arrogant is that, 14:34 you don't even know what you're saying. 14:35 Yeah, we came from such different places. 14:38 Yeah, exactly. Really different places. 14:40 So that show was about anger. 14:42 And then what was real interesting 14:45 is we did the show on forgiveness 14:50 and then following that it was a very-- 14:53 I love that show, by the way. 14:54 That was really-- Where we really had to look at 14:57 some of the things that you even walked up 15:00 and said you know, that I had a very sexualized 15:03 early environment that I didn't know and forgive me 15:05 for all the act to now prior to even knowing you. 15:08 And I thought why would you say that 15:10 and I cried like a baby. 15:11 It was really, you know, it was really incredible 15:15 and I remember one thing on the forgiveness 15:17 that you said to me, is that, 'cause I've been molested 15:20 my whole life and you said, I know that those men 15:22 will never come back and say they're sorry 15:24 but for every person, every man that ever hurt you, 15:27 I want to you ask you on their behalf, 15:30 will you forgive us? 15:31 And I, it flawed me. 15:35 I couldn't believe you saying that 15:36 and I couldn't believe the look of love in your eyes 15:39 and how much healing that happened for me. 15:41 So I want to say, thank you for that again. 15:44 Wow, I love you so. I know. 15:46 I was honored to do that. 15:47 Awesome. I was honored to do that. 15:48 So we did that program. 15:49 So we did that program and then again 15:52 with tremendous blessings from all kinds of people 15:55 I had the opportunity to go on a 3ABN trip to Israel 15:59 and got baptized in the Jordan River 16:01 which was interesting for me 16:02 because I really feel like in some ways 16:05 that really was my baptism 16:06 into the ministry in a certain way. 16:09 Now it's curious because after that 16:12 I think the next thing that we did was, we did a live. 16:18 I don't want to go too fast past 16:20 the baptism in the Jordan. 16:22 Because you know, we went to Israel, 16:24 I was in a place where I mostly 16:26 couldn't even hardly be present because I just got in, 16:30 it was something pretty hard 16:32 but for you to walk where Christ walked, 16:35 to see all of that kind of stuff 16:37 to walk right into the Jordan 16:39 where He was baptized by John 16:41 and for you to have the privilege 16:42 to be baptized by J.D. 16:44 which is an incredible pastor here. 16:46 It was life changing for you, there was some huge changes. 16:50 Yes, that was, to me it was really interesting ones. 16:55 You took your mom and your sister. 16:56 I got to, my mom and sister were with me, 16:58 my mom, she was 87 at the time. 17:00 Excuse me, she's now 88. 17:02 And just to have that opportunity and my sister 17:05 who's been a woman after God for years, 17:07 her opportunity was just tremendous. 17:09 Both got baptized. Both got baptized. 17:11 To me what was interesting, that was, 17:13 the Jordon-- being baptized in the Jordan River, 17:18 being able to touch the corner stone 17:19 from the top of the temple. 17:21 That's the tour guide talked about, 17:22 when people talk about the highest part of the temple 17:24 doesn't necessarily mean physically the highest part 17:27 but the highest part in terms of what was spiritually 17:29 was the highest part of the temple 17:32 and it was real interesting because the corner 17:34 I'm looking in this direction you know 17:35 and his thoughts were this, 17:37 may very well have been the highest part. 17:39 And this was the corner stone from there 17:40 and the Bible talks about, 17:42 this is where when the Christ was tempted. 17:43 And they even said at one point to look up 17:46 and at times that's where the trumpeter stood 17:50 and for a lot of people know 17:52 that you are a trumpeter for living, 17:54 you play in the orchestra 17:55 and you have the principal trumpet. 17:57 And so when they even brought in that kind of stuff, 17:59 is here's where you know, they either 18:02 they play the trumpet and brought people here 18:04 to worship or they did the festival of the trumpets, 18:08 here's where they called out warnings. 18:10 Signal things, exactly, exactly. 18:12 And I just watched you cheer up and just stand there 18:14 not even able to speak at the time. 18:16 It was a powerful time for you. 18:18 It was an extremely powerful time 18:19 and I felt like I really had gotten a spiritual kick 18:23 that was needed you know, desired and needed. 18:25 Yeah. 18:26 So what was interesting was then the next thing 18:29 we had the opportunity to do here, 18:31 I think was another live and I'm not entirely sure why 18:35 because a sort of fear kept coming up 18:40 and sure some things starting to go on that 18:43 I really didn't have my, 18:44 I couldn't get my head wrapped around 18:46 what was taking place in my life 18:48 and the concept of fear and immense fear 18:49 and personal fear and stuff like that started to come up. 18:52 And again looking back I got it retrospect, 18:55 you know when someone starts to take a stand for God 18:59 and really say, I'm choosing 19:01 to really start to do the right thing 19:02 and I wanted to do this and stuff like that. 19:04 We all know that-- There's an enemy. 19:07 There's an enemy who's gonna start taking swings. 19:10 And what was really interesting looking at it 19:13 from my point of view as your wife 19:15 is that you were starting to deal 19:17 with major fear in your life. 19:18 Yeah. 19:19 Significant fear and what I didn't know 19:22 at the time was I was starting to head down, you know, 19:26 people say they tumble down the rabbit hole. 19:29 I was starting to head into a period of my life, 19:31 I had no idea it was coming 19:33 and I started having things happen. 19:35 In fact, it was the Messiah and the first Messiah 19:38 I played after being baptized in the Jordan, 19:41 all of a sudden I had something happened as a player physic 19:43 and I played the Messiah for years, 19:44 I've done it for 25 years. 19:46 You've been in orchestra since you were 14 years old. 19:48 Eighteen but yeah, pretty close. 19:51 And so its just one of those things 19:53 what we're doing it for years and all of a sudden physically 19:55 I'm having this thing happened and its like you know, 19:59 I mean, I got through the concert but it was like, 20:00 what was that? 20:01 Like just shaking. 20:02 Shaking and you know, 20:03 all of a sudden feeling like I can't do this. 20:06 And by the end of the symphony season 20:09 I'd gone to a place 20:10 where all of a sudden I'm going, 20:13 almost every time I picked the trumpet 20:14 it would start to shake and I would start to shake 20:17 and this wasn't about being nervous, 20:19 it's like there is something going on here and-- 20:22 There was one concert I remember 20:24 that you did that somebody had to step in 20:27 and play for you because you're shaking with so intense. 20:32 That was an interesting point. 20:37 I was fortunate, I really wasn't sure 20:38 what was going on and its very fortune 20:40 I love how God puts people in your life 20:42 and evil though I don't know whether he's a believer or not. 20:46 My colleague, the guy who play second trumpet to me 20:48 and he sits right there 20:49 so he totally aware of what's going on, 20:50 you can't be sitting right next us 20:52 when you see guys turn to playing, that's going on. 20:55 And artistically I'm not able to do, 20:57 I think probably to the general public 20:59 they almost didn't know but to my colleagues 21:01 and the people right here 21:02 it's like okay something is going on 21:03 and its not up to the standard that-- 21:05 And I have to ask you Brad, 21:07 because I didn't realize how significant this was 21:10 especially for men more so than women, 21:12 your identity is tied up and who you are 21:15 and what you do for a living? 21:17 So can you talk about that because you were being rocked 21:19 in every area of your life at that point? 21:22 I think that guys are probably are caught 21:24 in this more than women in generally 21:26 that what we do becomes a huge part of our identity. 21:30 And that, I mean it's such a lie but you know, 21:33 I did this or help build this or my job 21:35 has this kind of significance you know, 21:37 and you know, or I'm the manager 21:38 and I'm not the guy who mops the floor 21:40 and all these kinds of things is you know, 21:43 based upon you know, I built this or I made this 21:45 or I contributed to this project. 21:47 If there's anybody in, since I've known Brad 21:50 if there's any musician that comes through, 21:52 any tour group that comes through 21:54 and if they're gonna call a trumpet player, 21:56 they're gonna call Brad. 21:57 And I mean anybody, I've watched you play 22:01 with really incredible musicians or vocalist 22:05 or people that are very well known. 22:07 You played in Carnegie Hall, 22:09 I mean you played in all kinds of places 22:11 and so being able to say is that for all those 22:14 and have those shakes and you are no longer the guy, 22:18 and it maybe pulled away from you totally 22:20 you're so trying to hide that from everyone, 22:22 it was to watch you, I almost watched you disappear. 22:25 Oh. 22:26 And there's a part of that too that was contributing 22:29 and I will tie this into our spiritual journey's here 22:33 as well is by God's grace 22:36 I was given a tremendous amount of natural ability 22:38 and its not that I didn't work with that. 22:39 I practice a lot and all of that stuff 22:41 but I kind of didn't have to anything, 22:43 kind of other than, well, I'm gonna say 22:45 what was normally expected for that 22:47 and I was able to do my job. 22:48 Yeah, and do really well. 22:50 And do really well and now all of a sudden 22:52 I can't do it anymore. 22:54 I'm sitting and going I can't do it. 22:55 And I mean, I got to a place where I am starting to think, 22:59 Can am I gonna be able to play the trumpet again at all 23:03 and much less in a symphony orchestra 23:05 or anything along that lines? 23:07 What I am most thankful for was that-- 23:09 again my colleague who sat next to me 23:11 was watching what's going on and he's a real curious guy 23:13 and he is a younger guy, online all that stuff. 23:15 And so he started mentioning a couple of things, 23:18 one of them is called focal dystonia 23:19 which is a neurological disorder 23:21 that you can get with repetitive use of muscles 23:23 which plainly you know, 23:24 it's like almost anything is that kind of thing. 23:27 The other thing that was in the back of my mind 23:29 is Parkinson's disease and some kind of-- 23:32 We've just read through. 23:33 And we just went through Parkinson's with your dad. 23:35 My dad had it and my grandpa had some kind of shaking thing 23:38 my mom has something they call essential tremors 23:41 which you know, well, means they really know what it is, 23:44 that just actually shakes. 23:45 And so all of this stuff was sitting on me 23:48 and I had actually been fired from a job, 23:52 they restructured the job and I was no longer qualified 23:54 for it is what it was but you know, 23:56 that was had been four years since then 23:58 and without looking at it you know, 24:01 I realized I was heading in this one direction 24:03 and we're sitting on the couch one day 24:04 and you looked over me with all the love 24:06 in your eyes and said, you know, 24:08 I really love you but I think you're depressed. 24:11 You looked at me like I don't think so 24:13 and I'm thinking let me just read what depression is. 24:16 Yes, I got the little check list out. 24:17 Okay, well, check, check, check, check. 24:19 I don't have that one. 24:20 Check, check, check, check, check, check, 24:22 I don't have that one. 24:23 You know, and so that reality came in 24:24 and so I mean it was one of those things 24:25 as far as it been, I'm gonna, just gonna say 24:28 totally broken and feeling like you have nothing. 24:31 I was in sure for it's gonna be play and my identity was, 24:34 I'm the best trumpet player in the area. 24:36 We get-- I'd like to, 24:38 I'd literally like to break on that. 24:39 Okay. 24:40 So 'cause I know where you were going 24:42 into what that healing journey is like for you 24:45 but I want to break here and come back to that. 24:48 But sometimes when you were overwhelmed with fear 24:51 when you are up here with a lot of things 24:53 sometimes its not emotional, 24:55 sometimes its that even spiritual, 24:57 sometimes its medical, 24:58 sometimes there's a physical things 25:00 that's happening and make sure you check that out. 25:03 But were gonna come back and find out 25:04 what happened with Brad and I'm telling you 25:06 I'm so glad that he held on to God. 25:09 We'll be right back. |
Revised 2014-12-17