Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Adam & Rayne Hamilton
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR000124B
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00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues
00:03 related to addictive behavior. 00:05 Parents are cautioned that some material 00:06 may be too candid for younger children. 00:13 Welcome back. I don't know why 00:16 but I love these kinds of stories 00:19 not because I love what happens to us in our lives 00:22 but I love the fact that 00:23 in the middle of all of this insanity, 00:26 in the middle of this whole vortex of craziness 00:30 that you have a God that says, you know what? 00:32 You are not out of my reach. 00:33 I actually still see you. 00:35 And I have a plan for your life and I can change everything, 00:38 and every single time I see Him do it. 00:40 Every single time, 00:41 I watch somebody change your life 00:43 and actually get it and just almost we're shaking hands, 00:46 hand all of this over and say can you fix it. 00:50 And God says, "Man I absolutely can." 00:53 So you know, we're talking about, 00:54 you know, Rayne, we are talking about 00:56 your background and dad imprisoned, 00:58 mom out of control, 01:00 being raised by grandparents had no idea, 01:02 even how to speak to you at times. 01:04 And then, your alcoholic mom, 01:08 really kind of crazy being out there 01:10 doing whatever you wanted to do. 01:12 And I love when you said on that last segment is that 01:16 you even like the sound of things breaking. 01:18 Because I think that some people don't realize 01:20 that when we're angry and all of that stuff 01:22 is I want to break something, 01:24 I want to scream, 01:25 I want to go out there and wreak havoc. 01:27 You know, if I can steal your car, 01:28 I'm gonna steal your car, 01:29 it's like, you know, kids coming out of all 01:31 of that anger is almost a natural response 01:35 is somebody's gonna pay. 01:38 You know, somebody's gonna pay 01:39 and I'm gonna have fun, you know. 01:41 And so now you're in high school, 01:45 not a great student and what happens next? 01:49 I was my two months into my senior year. 01:53 That was just another Friday night, 01:54 me and buddy just looking for the party. 01:56 I get a call from some girls we know 01:59 and they want to hang out and drink a little bit 02:02 and listen to music what not so. 02:04 We're out there in the field and had the music up, drank. 02:09 Now one thing led to another, 02:11 me and one of the girls and we messed around. 02:16 Then it was a good night. 02:18 And you know, we split our ways. 02:20 Next day I get a call from sheriff's office, 02:23 want to talk to me. 02:24 Oh, my God, I'm gonna have some trouble for drinking. 02:27 So I came in there and they asked some questions. 02:30 I told them whole story about, you know, 02:31 I brought pills, we were drinking, 02:35 but then they started questions 02:36 but actually my style is little bizarre 02:39 but I told everything that happened 02:40 between me and her. 02:41 They said, "Write a statement, and we'll let you go." 02:43 I'm like okay so I wrote the statement out. 02:45 So at this point you're saying you know that 02:47 we're probably in trouble for drinking. 02:49 Absolutely, yeah. 02:51 As soon as I wrote the statement out, 02:53 I signed it, 02:54 they arrested me immediately 02:56 and told me I was being charged 02:58 with indecent liberties with the child. 02:59 I was 18 years old senior 03:01 and the girl I messed with was under 16. 03:04 She was 15 years old. 03:07 So, what did you think because, 03:09 you know, for a lot of us we think now wait, 03:13 because everybody, you know, 03:15 and I hate to say that we're out of control, 03:18 we're out of control in high schools. 03:21 We're out of control 03:22 when we're raised in that much dysfunction. 03:23 We're out partying and in relationships, 03:27 and damaging each other, 03:29 but now you're saying I am arrested 03:31 and they're looking at me like 03:34 you realize what we're saying. 03:36 You are in trouble. 03:38 And I was oblivious about... and I'm like okay, 03:41 I'll just bond out, let me call my mom. 03:43 Right, you don't understand. 03:45 You are in trouble, big trouble. 03:47 I'm like, oh, God. 03:49 Anyway I go to court 03:51 and had a court appointed attorney, 03:54 and the lawyer said you just got to plea bargain 03:57 or you are going to prison. 03:58 You don't want to go to prison with crime like this. 04:00 I'm like, really, okay, I'll plea bargain. 04:04 So we plea bargain for suspension of prison time 04:08 to go to little bit boot camp 04:10 which is like 70 percent failure rate 04:12 and if I failed at boot camp, 04:14 then I'll go to prison for three years. 04:17 So they send me out to this boot camp 04:18 which is an intense boot camp, I mean... 04:21 So this is where somebody is in your face 04:23 trying to get you to kind of, 04:24 man, stop misbehaving, turn your life around. 04:28 It's one of those kind of boot camps. 04:30 They want to break you down. 04:31 Yeah, they want to just... 04:32 whatever attitude you have, 04:34 they're gonna take that from you. 04:35 They're gonna strip you down and mold you. 04:38 And I know that I keep repeating myself 04:43 but with the all the damage that you had, 04:45 you have attitude. 04:48 You know I can see it even now. 04:50 You know, where you're saying, 04:52 you know what, somebody's got to hear me. 04:54 I didn't do any thing. 04:56 I am not supposed to be here kind of thing 04:59 and so there're saying, "How long did you stay?" 05:01 They're saying that we're gonna break you, 05:02 you need to change that. 05:04 Yeah. 05:05 Five months and a week I was there and I graduated. 05:08 Upon graduation, 05:10 I just wanted to put my past behind me 05:12 and continue on with my life 05:14 so I enrolled in a college to be a nurse. 05:17 My mom was a nurse. She was in Orient. 05:19 So that's why I wanted to be a flight nurse. 05:21 So I enrolled immediately, 05:22 after the first year of college, 05:23 I've had good grades. 05:25 I was gonna say 'cause these are little bit different. 05:27 No, no these will be your degrees no. 05:30 but I had grade, grades good. 05:32 Because you loved it. 05:33 Why all of a sudden your grades are good. 05:36 I wanted to be nurse. 05:39 I mean that's what I wanted to be, 05:40 I want to help people. 05:41 Right. 05:43 I am gonna just strive for it. Okay. 05:45 That was the goal, but upon first year, 05:50 the career adviser brought me in her office 05:52 and told me I wouldn't be doing my job 05:54 if I didn't tell this but you need to switch careers 05:57 because you'll never ever be a nurse with your felony. 06:01 I've got to ask you. 06:04 So at that moment when you realized 06:07 not only is this going to follow me 06:09 but it is going to... 06:11 It's gonna dictate the rest of my life. 06:14 Because now not only did you get a felony 06:17 for messing around in high school and drinking 06:20 and I am not condemning any of that. 06:21 You know, I wish that kids didn't and I would say, 06:23 we didn't act out, 06:24 which we didn't drink or whatever, 06:26 my mom and dad drank, you know, 06:28 in high school and ended up in trouble 06:30 but you know, so I wish that didn't happen. 06:32 But now you're a convicted sex offender. 06:36 And what she is saying is that, 06:38 I can let you finish this program 06:39 but you'll never get a job. 06:41 And that's really hit me how bad the crime is. 06:44 I mean, I didn't, 06:46 I really never heard the word 'sex offender' 06:48 ever until I got labeled as one. 06:51 I don't know the extent of it. 06:52 And then learned about peta files 06:54 and all those other stuff what the sex offender is, 06:57 I mean, that's... 06:58 Didn't you want to just scream at the top of your lungs, 07:00 wait a minute, that's not what I am, 07:02 that's not what I did, that's not what happened. 07:05 I don't know who to talk to or what to do. 07:06 And even saying that, Adam, 07:08 I don't want to excuse people that 07:11 really have issues in that area 07:13 but it sounds like you're paying for crime 07:17 that you're saying wait. 07:18 Can someone look at this? 07:20 Because 07:23 I know I should get in trouble 07:25 because you said that to me once. 07:26 I know I should have gone in trouble 07:28 but not a registered sex offender. 07:30 Yes. 07:31 See you have to leave nursing school. 07:33 Did you finished 07:34 or did you just decide I am leaving? 07:35 I dropped right away. 07:37 I dropped out of college immediately. 07:38 Yeah. 07:40 So you're drinking heavy? 07:41 Heavy, partying non stop with the bunch of guys 07:44 and I was on corrections, 07:47 probation on full time, so I didn't care. 07:50 Eventually they got tired of me popping 07:53 and blowing their breathalyzers 07:54 and revoked my probation and throw me in prison. 07:58 As a sex offender? As a sex offender. 08:00 That's not safe. 08:01 No, it's not really... 08:03 It's not a good deal. 08:04 That's the worst possible case 08:05 you possibly have going to prison. 08:07 So what happened? 08:08 You go in a prison as a sex offender 08:09 usually they don't survive 08:11 or they get really violently treated. 08:13 Yes. 08:15 I didn't, I'm walking in and right away they asked 08:18 what you're in there for 08:20 and you tell them your case, 08:23 like my case what situation was and they don't believe you. 08:28 They call you child molester, all those other words. 08:32 But I had this paper work that had my charge 08:34 and the ages and every thing on there. 08:36 So you kept your paper work with you almost? 08:37 Absolutely, yes. Yeah. 08:39 And they dismissed it... 08:43 and they definitely didn't ask me no more. 08:47 But I have seen other people coming in there too cases 08:51 and it's such a bad deal. 08:53 How long did you spent in prison? 08:57 Two... 08:58 two and half years. 08:59 So, now you are out in a halfway house 09:01 and that's where you guys meet, is that right? 09:07 You know you are lucky, 09:08 I am not your sister or your mom 09:10 because I'd be going like Rayne, 09:12 and now that, you know what, 09:14 from the time that I have met you, Adam, 09:16 as I hear your story 09:19 and I'm not excusing any behaviors 09:21 and I feel bad for you and this girl. 09:23 But man, a convicted sex offender 09:27 and to have that like you said that kind of stamped on you. 09:30 We go to somewhere you go that's really tough. 09:32 But you meet him. 09:34 And somebody has to have told you 09:36 that this is his issue. 09:37 But I knew his story right away and, 09:41 I mean, and I had a friend in high school 09:44 that has a similar story. 09:45 And it was consensual, I mean a girl was, 09:48 her mother even consented 09:51 and the state just picked him up 09:52 and he spent seven years in prison. 09:54 And he didn't hurt anyone or forced himself on anyone, 09:57 it was bogus. 09:59 So you have some experience? Yeah. 10:00 And what's really crazy is, I can't, 10:04 I am not at liberty to mention 10:06 who but I have even someone in my family 10:08 same kind of thing that they were in high school, 10:12 found in a compromising situation 10:15 not even sexual like you said 10:16 that you didn't have. 10:17 It wasn't a sexual situation with this girl 10:19 but they were in the same thing 10:21 and everybody wanted to press charges. 10:24 And then with this guy had turned 18 one day, 10:27 he had been 18 one day 10:29 and would have registered for the rest of... 10:31 not the rest of his life but for years. 10:32 Yeah. 10:33 So you're saying, 10:35 I knew the story, I heard that. 10:37 You guys fell in love. Right? 10:39 Yeah, absolutely. 10:42 Got married? 10:45 Have a couple of more kids. 10:47 But you know I want to hear. 10:50 What happened when they found 10:52 that you had kids? 10:54 Well, yeah. 10:57 So just to even, 11:00 I was on a parole after I got out of prison. 11:02 I was on parole for three years which it... 11:04 it was a very hard parole when you're sex offender. 11:07 It's impossible. 11:08 Yeah, they want you to fail. 11:10 I can't go to parks, I can't do anything. 11:12 But anyway Rayne gets pregnant 11:14 and I tell my parole officer about this, 11:16 and she says, 11:17 you can't even be around your kid 11:19 until you take this class for sex offenders. 11:21 And if I was in prison, 11:22 I didn't have to take this class. 11:24 But I'm on parole, I got to take it. 11:26 So for me even be around my own son, 11:29 I got to take sex offender class. 11:31 And so I do it, 11:33 do whatever I got to be around my son. 11:35 I go to these classes and it's... 11:38 I mean, my kids now, I mean, 11:41 I'm not against the law of sex offenders at all 11:43 but it should be there. 11:44 I think there is... 11:46 There are some people that really are sick 11:48 and really do need help... 11:51 And people need protection. Absolutely. 11:53 And I saw the class, it was rough setting 11:57 but I kind of, I sat on. 11:59 Do you know that I want to say 12:01 the first time you tell me the story 12:03 and I realize the stories that you heard 12:04 from person after person after person, 12:08 you said it twisted you, it almost killed you. 12:11 All you could do was go home and drink. 12:13 And I wanted to say, I am so sorry 12:15 because I could imagine 12:17 what you heard over and over and over. 12:20 And wanted to scream at someone, 12:22 I don't want to be here. 12:24 I don't want to hear this, I don't want to know this. 12:27 And I had to. 12:29 Just to be around your own children. 12:30 Yeah. 12:31 If he come home, and you wouldn't lean on him. 12:34 You just want to leave him alone, 12:36 like you could just tell, 12:37 he was just broken down and you just left him alone 12:40 for the rest of the night because he was a mess. 12:44 I just want to say and I don't know 12:46 how many people have said to you I am so sorry. 12:49 I am really sorry. 12:51 So you end up going to the class. 12:53 You get permission to be around your own children. 12:55 Yup, I am, it was like celebration 12:59 I was so happy to be around my own kid 13:01 and I don't have to worry about the law coming after me 13:04 but yeah, 13:06 that kind of went smoother for while to me. 13:09 You were registering 13:11 at once a year at the beginning, 13:15 registering once a year, sex offender. 13:18 You know there was a time 13:20 I know that you were asked to leave your home. 13:23 Can you talk about that a little bit? 13:24 They gave you 14 days I think. 13:27 Fourteen days. Yeah. 13:29 We lived there for seven years and we were good tenants. 13:34 We never were late on rent and we took care of our house. 13:37 I mean, it was nice outside, it was nice inside. 13:40 And just a development that we lived in got bought out 13:45 by a new company. 13:47 And once they found out 13:49 that a sex offender lived in our house, 13:52 they gave 14 days and I mean that was home 13:56 especially for me and Jaden, you know, 13:59 because that was like the first safe stable place 14:02 that we'd have after going through everything, 14:05 we went through, and now we're being told 14:07 we have to leave home. 14:09 Fourteen days, and nobody's gonna rent you. 14:12 No, nobody. 14:13 You said that you were online. 14:16 I was on the internet for a day, 14:18 I mean, I just lived on the internet for days 14:21 trying to find a house and every day he'd get off work 14:24 and we go looking and you know to our house, 14:27 look at a house 14:28 and every single person wanted to know 14:30 if you have felony or if you're a sex offender, 14:33 and some of them would specifically ask 14:35 if you were a sex offender. 14:37 And you said yes. 14:38 You would have to say yes. 14:40 No, you just walk out. 14:41 Because you knew. Yeah, 14:42 So you know, what's really... 14:45 what's crushing to me is I know that in 2013 14:51 you were gonna be off of probation, 14:54 not having to register anymore, all of that kind of stuff 14:57 and you were going to get your life back. 15:00 Yeah, don't have to register no more now with that... 15:02 What happened? 15:03 They changed the law. 15:05 Now instead of, 15:07 it was supposed to end in ten years 15:09 now they changed the law, 15:10 when I got to do for 25 years. 15:13 Oh, man I have to register three times... 15:14 Not you personally, just for everyone? 15:16 Everybody, well, it depends 15:18 people had to register for ten years. 15:20 I have registered 25 now 15:21 and people that registered for 25 15:23 that's registered for life. 15:24 Well. 15:25 So and then they upped to 20 dollars 15:27 every time I go register and three times a year. 15:29 Four times a year. Four times a year 15:31 So instead of one, it's four times a year. 15:33 And 15 more years? 15:37 So now my kids got to deal with this now too. 15:39 All our kids except for the baby, 15:41 you know, go through high school with him 15:43 being a registered sex offender. 15:47 How do you do that? 15:48 I mean, how do you deal with it? 15:51 My wife and family went 15:52 and they are wonderful support group 15:54 and my church family. 15:56 Because you're back in... 15:57 you are in church for the first time. 15:59 Still drinking, still not sure where are you 16:01 out with any of that. 16:03 Yeah. 16:04 But what brought you to a place where you said, 16:06 I am even gonna move in that direction? 16:10 Well it's the people I know. 16:13 I have watched her really. 16:15 I mean she reads few books in the morning 16:19 and I mean the things that she goes through 16:21 I don't know how she does it and some times I don't have, 16:24 I don't know what to do to help her. 16:26 These books she is reading, 16:27 it gives her such amazing support 16:31 and you know... 16:32 The devotions and stuff. 16:33 Yeah, that's what they are, I'm sorry. 16:35 No, but you know what I am just imagining 16:39 because I know that your whole life 16:41 is you hung on to God 16:43 almost white-knuckled it half the time. 16:45 And so he is watching you. 16:47 Say that in the midst of this craziness, 16:50 he watches you go, 16:52 go to the word or grab a devotion or pray. 16:57 I just don't feel like I'm any... 17:01 I don't feel like a good example, 17:04 so it's crazy to hear him say those things. 17:08 I love that. 17:09 So it got you to where you stepped into a church, 17:13 and what was that like? 17:14 Awesome, yeah, right away several opened arms. 17:18 I love the Sabbath school for kids, 17:22 I mean, 'cause I don't know a whole lot about the Bible. 17:25 I am still, I'm very learning it 17:27 and going for four, five, four years now. 17:30 Because you have four kids. 17:31 Yup, I learn so much in just my three year old class. 17:35 I mean all the stuff she learns, 17:36 I am like how do you know that, 17:38 that's awesome. 17:39 So I want to just, wherever I go, 17:41 I am learning more and more and more and this, 17:43 it's lot of fun. 17:45 It's because of God's love. 17:48 It's okay to fail, he is there for you. 17:51 And he even loves us. 17:53 What's really even for you to say that, 17:55 I want to go back to you, 17:57 for both of you is that... 17:59 How do you... 18:00 What do you do with your any resentment or anger 18:03 or this is not fair, 18:06 because I want to say, 18:07 I like you said earlier as I believe 18:10 the laws are there for reason 18:11 and I think they protect everyone. 18:13 We've had in the first season a convicted sex offender 18:17 that said I need that structure, 18:20 I need to know that I am accountable 18:21 and I need all that stuff. 18:23 So I am not saying anything against up but when you, 18:26 I am looking at you and thinking that man, 18:29 for a mistake in high school with a girl 18:32 that you are kind of dating to register 18:35 for the next 25 years is so... 18:37 I can't imagine the changes. 18:39 So what do you do with, when anger comes up? 18:42 What do you do when, 18:43 that even for you, what do you do, 18:45 because you have to deal with this everyday? 18:48 All of us have deal with it. 18:49 I mean, the kids are even getting old enough 18:52 where they gonna have to deal with it. 18:55 I feel like I take it and stride 18:58 may be even too much 18:59 because I don't care what he is labeled, 19:03 it's just ludicrous to me and so I know... 19:05 'Cause you know him. 19:06 Yeah, and everyone else that knows him 19:09 feels the same way but for him it's different 19:11 because he feels that label on him daily, 19:15 may be even 19:16 and they took me like even just a couple of months ago, 19:20 I finally realize that because I didn't, 19:22 I think I just took it way too much on the stride 19:25 when really it's beating him down 19:28 way more than what I realize 19:30 because I don't care that he has that label. 19:34 Well who cares what society says. 19:36 It matters what God thinks about you know. 19:39 It matters what me 19:40 and the kids think about you know. 19:41 And who he is. 19:43 Yeah and... 19:44 How about you? 19:45 It's... 19:48 At first, I mean, I just lost jobs over it 19:51 and it was tough to accept, I mean, 19:56 I don't know what to do. 19:57 Over the last three years, three, four years, 20:00 since I've put my foot in the door in the church, 20:03 I do feel lifted. 20:07 Pressure is off. 20:08 I don't really care what people think about me anymore. 20:11 But what matter is my kids, my family 20:13 and relation to God, 20:18 you know, it's tough, 20:22 real tough. 20:24 And I guess I want to look at you 20:25 and I am thinking, you know, 20:26 that's a sweet answer, Adam, but I know that, 20:29 I am not asking you that, I am asking you to be real. 20:31 What you got stamped, 20:34 this is who every one says you are. 20:36 You have to fight this on every first meeting. 20:38 You have to fight this on every job, 20:40 on every time you go out for a house, 20:43 and so, if you were talking not only for yourself 20:46 but other people that have had to do that fight. 20:48 Would you give that same sweet answer? 20:50 No, no. 20:51 Okay, I want you to answer for real. 20:54 You know, I can't imagine 20:56 and I can't imagine walking around with that, 20:59 and when you say I drink to stop thinking about it, 21:02 I get that. 21:05 It's terrible, I mean... 21:12 When people look at you as a pedophile, 21:15 it brings so much anger 21:17 and it makes you to hit everyone. 21:20 When I go home instead of relaxing, 21:22 I am sitting in room, going over on my mind 21:25 and what did I, why I am labeled this. 21:29 Can't be forgive, I mean, I've already done my time. 21:33 Why the laws keep changing? 21:35 Am I supposed to battle this for the rest of my life? 21:38 I mean nothing is easy for me to do in life, 21:40 absolutely nothing at all. 21:42 And... 21:44 Not even, and not even as of your children. 21:46 They're gonna look at you 21:47 and you're gonna have to explain to them. 21:49 Or their friends, or their friends, 21:51 parents, teachers, whoever. 21:53 I mean, it doesn't affect me no more, 21:56 it affects everyone, it affects my whole family now. 21:59 And they inherited it and as tears go on, 22:03 law changes and they just keep, that keeps me some sucked in. 22:06 So nothing I can do except to just hang on. 22:11 You know and I hope this doesn't sound easy, 22:14 but we're talking about grace. 22:16 And I... 22:17 Well, I was thinking about 22:19 how to cover this with you 22:20 and how to look at this in a real sense with you. 22:23 There is it Romans 5 and 6 and that says you know what 22:27 even when we were powerless, 22:28 even when we were been bombarded 22:30 with all of the stuff, 22:31 even when we were yet enemies of God himself, 22:34 he said, "I died for you 22:36 because I know you are not going 22:37 to pull yourself out of this. 22:39 It is only gonna be for the grace of God, 22:40 that you will grab your life back." 22:42 And so when I read that, 22:44 I thought about you specifically 22:46 that I can't imagine 22:49 what it feels like to be in your skin sometime, 22:52 and have that battle, 22:53 knowing that you're gonna have that battle day in and day out. 22:57 What did you do with when it's overwhelming? 23:01 What did you do with the anger 23:03 and the bitterness what did you do? 23:04 I drink. 23:05 You drink and does it, is it still working to drink? 23:09 I mean, that's what I do, 23:11 I don't know what else to do sometimes 23:13 and that's for it's like peace. 23:17 I drink and then I don't have to think about that stuff 23:20 where I just, 23:22 and the next morning I wake up, 23:23 it's like a new day 23:25 until something triggers me off again about it all then. 23:29 And then you drink again. 23:30 Yeah, I take one day a time. 23:34 You know, I am looking at you 23:38 and I am thinking that the only way 23:40 I survived any of my junk, 23:43 you know ten years on the street 23:45 and slamming heroin and all that kind of stuff 23:47 is that I had to believe 23:50 that God was better than the heroin. 23:53 Because the only time I got a break 23:55 is I put some drugs in the spoon, 23:57 cooked it up and slammed them. 23:58 No, and that was my only break, 24:00 the only time I didn't feel like killing myself, 24:02 and I am looking at you saying that as your friend 24:05 because I really feel like, 24:07 you know God is allowed us to meet 24:09 and start a friendship. 24:11 And as your friend, 24:12 I don't care what you have to do, 24:14 the alcohol is lined to you. 24:16 It's almost like a lover that seduces us 24:18 and says you know what, 24:20 I might here and I am always gonna work 24:21 and it's a lie. 24:23 It has never worked. 24:24 It has never gotten you to a place 24:26 where you could stand up on your own skin. 24:28 And my prayer for you, Adam, 24:31 is that, you trust grace. 24:37 You know, we've been hanging out 24:38 for the last couple of days. 24:39 You're gonna be so tired. 24:42 But what do you think as the last couple of days 24:44 what we've been talking about. 24:46 It's... 24:48 Well, you taught me 24:50 while talking and everything its, 24:53 I mean, what we do, I mean, God loves us. 24:59 Nobody is perfect. 25:01 Nobody in this world is perfect. 25:05 He loves us all 25:07 and if you think you can get through 25:08 this world by yourself, you're crazy. 25:12 You need him and he is there open arms waiting for you. 25:17 He says stop. 25:20 It's hard to accept. Yeah. 25:22 Why? 25:23 I don't know, because I don't like 25:24 especially for me it should be easy 25:26 like I grew up. 25:27 Being taught that 25:29 on top of the don't do this 25:30 or don't do that or you'll go to hell. 25:32 You know grace was in there somewhere, 25:34 you know, I heard it at least but it's still. 25:38 It's really tough to... 25:40 I am not drinking every day, 25:42 I am not smoking pot everyday, 25:44 I am not, you know, 25:46 I don't even have the struggles 25:47 he does but I still question myself everyday, 25:50 everyday. 25:51 Because you don't feel good enough. 25:52 I don't, yeah. 25:54 You know what I want to scream to the entire world 25:56 is we're not good enough, that's why Christ died. 26:00 You know, to me I look at that, 26:02 I think where did we get that wrong. 26:04 The best of the best of us are like filthy rags. 26:06 The best of the best of us 26:08 has been deceived outside of what norm is. 26:12 And God said you know, I knew that 26:14 and Jesus said I died knowing that. 26:18 So knowing that the only way you're gonna go home. 26:20 The only way you're gonna get back in your own skin is if I, 26:24 if I redeem you. 26:25 And with you, 26:27 I know that you are harder on yourself 26:29 than a lot of non Christians 26:31 because you have that background. 26:32 You call your self. 26:34 I am not good enough, I am doing this, 26:35 I am thinking this, I am, you know whatever, 26:38 I am not good enough and you will call yourself. 26:41 Can you say even when Adam started 26:44 to get a little bit of grace 26:46 what you felt like in Bible, 26:47 you remember you saw I'm at a Bible study, 26:50 he starts getting little bad and it made me angry. 26:55 Oh yeah. Bible testament, yeah. 26:57 You remember that mad me angry. 26:59 That I'm looking at him and he is going to get it 27:02 and I don't get it. 27:03 Are you kidding me? 27:05 I was jealous he gets to come into, 27:07 into the church learning about God's love first 27:10 and falling in love with Jesus and what Jesus did for us. 27:14 He gets to learn that first instead of don't do this 27:17 or you'll go to hell 27:18 because that's totally the background for me. 27:22 We're gonna take a break and because we got to close. 27:25 I wish that we had another hour but we don't. 27:27 So we're gonna close, 27:28 but I am gonna have you guys stay with me on the close 27:30 and we're gonna talk a little bit more about this. 27:32 If you haven't heard me say throughout this program 27:36 that we're not enough. 27:38 But God says my blood is enough 27:40 and I am crazy about you. 27:43 Stay with us, we will be right back. |
Revised 2016-09-13