Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Lisa Eliuk
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR000129A
|
00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues
00:03 related to addictive behavior. 00:05 Parents are cautioned 00:06 that some material may be too candid 00:07 for younger children. 00:10 There are times in your life 00:12 where you just gonna want to run 00:13 but you know you cannot. 00:15 You know that everything in you has to step up to the fight. 00:20 Everything in you has to be present, 00:22 and you know I've got a friend here Lisa 00:24 and that's her life. 00:25 Everything in her wanted to run but she didn't. 00:29 Welcome to Celebrating Life in Recovery 00:30 and my name is Cheri. 00:32 Come join us in the café(C) 00:33 because this one I think is life changing. 01:04 Welcome, like I said, 01:05 "Some fights that you can't run from." 01:07 And I want to talk about, 01:08 there was a time where I was invited 01:10 to go to a Banning Street. 01:13 And Banning Street was just an out risk area, 01:16 there was a lot of drug addicts. 01:19 If you're gonna talk about police or arrest 01:21 or any of that kind of stuff, 01:22 it happened around Banning Street. 01:24 And so when somebody asked me, it was way into my recovery. 01:28 I end up getting dressed at a church gig 01:31 and I show up at a Banning Street 01:33 with that person that does ministry there. 01:35 And I look like Mary Poppins, I mean it was just ridiculous. 01:38 I should've had an umbrella, 01:40 I mean I just look so ridiculous. 01:41 But you know, these kids just kind of looked at me like, 01:45 you know, who are you? 01:46 And what do you want? 01:47 And they think I am a social worker, 01:49 they are not trusting me. 01:50 I'm coming to talk with parents, 01:52 and I wanna invite them to the meetings at night. 01:53 And so, I'm just praying my like God, crazy. 01:57 I'm praying like crazy, and I felt like at one point, 02:00 I would try to remember every prayer that I ever heard, 02:03 like a real missionary person say 02:05 'cause I always felt like 02:07 you know, who am I doing in ministry. 02:08 I'm like an addict in recovery. I've got all this baggage. 02:11 But I'm trying to think of who I heard that was really good 02:14 and I started to pray just like them, I said, 02:15 "God go before us and open all the doors." 02:20 I don't know if you ever heard that prayer, 02:21 but I thought that's a good prayer you know. 02:23 And so I walked in the middle of this apartment complex 02:26 and there's little stairs going up 02:27 to the top level apartments and in the bottom level 02:30 and I'm in the middle of this court yard. 02:32 And I'm saying open all the doors, 02:33 and the kids are yelling 02:35 trying to figure out who we are, 02:36 and they are talking, 02:37 and I am saying that I wanna meet your family, 02:39 and is your mom home, and I mean they're druggies. 02:42 The police are there, when we first pulled in, 02:44 had pulled someone over was frisking some guy. 02:47 I mean it was just that kind of environment 02:49 and as I was praying open all the doors. 02:51 I looked up and because of the noise, 02:53 people came out and all the doors were open, 02:57 and I just couldn't even breathe. 02:59 I thought what if God listens to us, 03:01 you know, what if he is hearing us? 03:03 What if our prayers are not going unanswered? 03:05 And so you know, 03:07 we always call them the hostages of Banning Street. 03:08 They were hostages, when I came down, 03:12 and started talking to people for the first time. 03:16 I said, you know, I am speaking in town 03:17 and I'd like to invite you to the meetings. 03:19 And all the sudden all these addicts are coming down. 03:21 They literally had, you know, some, 03:23 one woman was shooting up so many times in her arm, 03:26 she had a abscesses 03:27 and literally pus dripping from her arm 03:29 because she's just an addict, people in and out of jail. 03:32 Kids saying that my dad is in jail 03:34 but I think my mom's home, 03:35 you know, all that kind of stuff. 03:37 And so I think that they were really held hostage 03:38 in their addiction. 03:39 They were held hostage in their environment, 03:42 they did come to our meetings, 03:43 I would love to just stay on this 03:46 and talk about the freedom that we felt that moment 03:50 when the doors were opened 03:51 and that night at the meetings 03:52 from these hostages from Banning Street. 03:55 But what I want you to think about 03:57 is we're gonna talk to a friend of mine Lisa, 03:59 and Lisa is held hostage in the whole different way. 04:03 So I want to say to Lisa, 04:04 for one welcome to the program... 04:06 Thank you... You came here from Canada... 04:08 Yes. 04:10 And when I talk about, that I am, 04:12 I am kind of referring to your situation and hostages, 04:15 been held hostage does that make sense at all? 04:18 It makes total sense, for my husband and I, 04:23 there are times 04:25 when you are literally held hostage. 04:29 Living with children with special needs 04:33 and particular with autism. 04:36 There are special needs that they have 04:39 and one of those areas is safety, 04:42 and there are times 04:44 when we are literally held hostage in our house 04:47 because we have to be careful 04:49 because our sons could just walk away. 04:52 So we have to make our house safe and secure, 04:55 so that they won't just walk away... 04:57 So you're talking things are lockdown... 05:01 Yes, they are in a way that 05:03 we know that they can't get out but they're safe 05:06 and sometimes it does feel like a prison. 05:10 And your husband actually said that... 05:12 Yeah, he says, I feel like I am a prisoner in my own home. 05:16 So I'll like to find that who are you? 05:22 Growing up, getting married, and stepping into the awareness 05:26 that you're gonna be dealing with 05:28 some pretty intense situations. 05:31 And we're going through a book this season, Victory in Jesus. 05:34 And there's one chapter that I love 05:36 'cause one chapter it says, you know, it's almost like 05:39 what is the most important daily habit. 05:42 So here is the book 05:43 that we're going through all season, right. 05:45 What's the most important daily habit? 05:47 And I think the most important daily habit is to get up 05:50 and know who God is... 05:52 Yes. 05:53 You know, not who I can be today, 05:55 and what are my strength is today. 05:57 And what I can muster it up today, 05:59 what I can figure it out today, but who is God today. 06:02 And so, you know, 06:04 tell us a little bit about who you are? 06:06 How you fell in love? 06:08 And now what are you dealing with? 06:11 I grew up in a small town 06:13 in New Brunswick, in Canada on the east coast. 06:18 I had parents who were Seventh-day Adventist, 06:23 so I had grown up in the church. 06:26 I went to Alberta for college, 06:30 and that's where I met my husband... 06:32 In college... Yes, in college... 06:34 How romantic. 06:36 Yes, we just happen to meet through mutual friends. 06:41 And our backgrounds were very different. 06:46 I was raised as a Christian. 06:49 And my husband had not been raised as a Christian 06:53 but he has found his faith later on. 06:56 And we met at college and we got married and studied. 07:03 And so when you met at college, I bet you were beautiful, 07:06 'cause you are beautiful now. 07:07 So fall in love, 07:11 decide that the differences weren't too great, 07:15 and did your family love him...? 07:18 Well, with my family, my mother had died 07:22 when I was 19 years old of cancer... 07:24 I am sorry... 07:26 So my husband never actually got a chance to meet my mother. 07:29 And my husband's family, 07:32 they had been a newly divorced about a year or so. 07:36 So for both of us, my family wasn't able to come 07:41 to see us get married, and then my husband's family 07:47 because of the new divorce that was hard to. 07:53 So we actually ended up eloping... 07:56 Yeah, so it's really interesting 07:59 'cause even when you're telling the story, 08:01 you go all the way to college, and meeting, 08:03 and yet you said goodbye to your mom at 19. 08:08 You know, what was that like? 08:09 I mean 'cause we don't realize the things that actually start 08:13 to either break us down or make us stronger. 08:18 But I mean all of those things happened. 08:20 I can't imagine saying goodbye to your mom, 08:22 I have a daughter and... 08:26 It was extremely hard. 08:31 Things were falling apart around us 08:33 as far as emotionally, 08:34 my dad was taking it very badly. 08:37 It was during Christmas break 08:41 when I was supposed to go back to college, 08:42 and I had to make a decision. 08:44 Do I stay until my mother passes away 08:47 or do I go back to college and it was very hard 08:50 'cause I didn't know what to do, 08:52 and I really didn't have anybody much to advise me. 08:56 And so I finally decided 08:58 that I was gonna go back to college, 09:00 because my mom was at that time, 09:05 I wasn't even sure she knew who I was anymore... 09:07 Okay... 09:08 And so I did go back, 09:10 and then 10 days later she passed away, 09:12 and I had to go back home and be a part of it. 09:16 I can't even, I can't imagine, how you must have felt 09:19 in that 19 year old walking in 09:21 now having to be a full adult and sane, 09:27 you know, and I know, I'm going to bury my mom... 09:31 It was very hard. 09:35 I really felt alone, I felt alone. 09:38 And I had one sister, she's 16 years older than I. 09:44 So at least I had her, 09:47 and her family but I didn't stay. 09:48 I went back to Alberta to go to college, 09:51 and I was really on my own then. 09:53 Right, and so you go back to college, 09:57 you are in a relationship at that point or not yet... 10:01 Not with my husband, Okay. 10:03 And so at that point I went back. 10:07 And I was having a really difficult time, 10:12 for almost two years I called the dark years 10:15 'cause that's really how I remember it. 10:17 So you're talking about depression, stress. 10:19 Depression. 10:21 Trying to get through everyday, I just got to get up, 10:22 I just got to study, I got to try to concentrate. 10:25 I got into things that I'm not proud of. 10:30 I started drinking and partying and it was on a daily basis. 10:34 And I just couldn't deal with the grief, 10:38 I couldn't deal with it. 10:39 And sometimes when I would drink, 10:42 it would come out. 10:44 And I remember one time 10:49 that I had gotten into a situation like that, 10:52 where I'd been drinking, and I woke up, 10:57 I had passed out, and I woke up, 10:59 and I was like you know, 11:01 God why did this happened to me? 11:04 Why did you do this to me? 11:07 And you know, how do I deal with this pain? 11:11 And I know different people thought that, 11:14 you know, I wasn't with God, but actually really was. 11:17 I was trying so hard through all of it 11:22 to hold on and to understand what was going on 11:27 and I didn't get through it myself, he carried me. 11:33 Absolutely. And that's how I look at it. 11:36 And I love when you say 11:37 'cause it's so important for people to hear that is, 11:39 I and most people would say God wasn't with you, 11:41 that God left you, and man, 11:44 I think we would fall apart if God left us. 11:46 You know, I think we wouldn't be surviving, 11:48 we wouldn't be able to breathe. 11:50 And so when you said that, you know, I didn't have a place 11:53 where I could talk about the pain or the grief 11:55 or where I could walk in and say, 11:57 you know what, 11:58 I don't think I am gonna survive today. 11:59 And so with no place, 12:02 you're gonna try to figure out something that works 12:04 and for you it was alcohol, relationships, partying. 12:08 And what's really tough is it doesn't work. 12:11 Exactly. 12:12 It doesn't work, you know, and if it worked, I would say, 12:14 you know, everybody grab a beer. 12:17 You know what I mean, just you know go get some pot. 12:19 You know, but you know to me 12:21 it's such a lie that that's gonna work. 12:24 What that's gonna do 12:25 is compound problem after problem after problem, 12:27 and you were going to waste your life, give up years. 12:30 And so you gave up a couple of years, 12:32 and you still now have to deal with your grief... 12:34 I still have to and I really believe that 12:40 my husband came along at the right time for me. 12:43 And I just told him that, you know, 12:49 you came along at a point in my life 12:51 where I needed someone 12:53 to put me on the straight and narrow, 12:55 and to help me. 12:57 And he was there for me 12:59 when I really needed him the most. 13:02 Somebody you could talk to... 13:03 Yes. 13:05 Somebody you could say, you know, whatever. 13:07 That's right. I hurt. 13:09 He was there for me, 13:11 I am lost and he was there for me. 13:16 He was a beautiful person. 13:18 I knew he cared about me. I knew he loved me 13:21 and I wouldn't be where I am today 13:24 without him. 13:25 So you guys get married, sons, beautiful, perfect... 13:32 You know where I'm going. Yeah, I do. 13:38 Well, we got married and of course it... 13:44 We just couldn't afford a lot. Yeah. 13:46 Because neither one of us had the finances to do. 13:49 And we didn't have family 13:51 to really be able to be there to support us. 13:54 But we wanted to be together and we believed that 13:58 if we want to have a relationship, 13:59 we want to be committed 14:01 and we believe that was through marriage. 14:03 And love conquers all. 14:04 If we have love, we have everything. 14:06 That's what we think when we're young. 14:11 So yes that's how we started out. 14:13 We were going through college. 14:16 He was taking theology at the time. 14:19 Awesome. 14:21 And so I was doing secretarial arts, 14:24 and then things changed for us. 14:31 In what way? 14:35 At the time we had thought 14:37 that my husband was going to end up 14:40 being a pastor, and it didn't happen that way. 14:45 And so I am confused because, he was in theology school, 14:50 everything is going fine. 14:52 So what would have got in the way? 14:53 What would have stopped him 14:54 from actually stepping into a calling? 14:58 He didn't happen to get a call at the time 15:01 and due to that fact, 15:05 he didn't end up going into the ministry at the time. 15:08 So once he finished school, 15:10 most people will get a call from somewhere, 15:12 a lot of people and so for whatever reason, 15:14 he didn't. 15:15 He did have two places that had, 15:19 were looking at giving a pastor an opportunity, 15:24 but what happened was is on one of those calls, 15:28 instead of getting a pastor the church actually closed 15:32 and the other opportunity diminished. 15:36 And so it was devastating because he had... 15:40 It's a lot of school. 15:41 It's a lot of school, student loans 15:44 'cause his family wasn't able to support. 15:46 And I was pregnant with my daughter 15:50 at the time 15:51 and we were really looking forward 15:53 to going into the ministry in that way, 15:56 and doing that, and it didn't happened. 16:01 And so that summer we were very discouraged, 16:06 but we were still trying. 16:08 But then, you know, it didn't happened 16:10 so it's like okay well now, what do we do with our lives, 16:12 what are we gonna do? 16:14 So in that time, 16:15 'cause we're talking about that kind of 16:17 daily leaning on God and being able to say, 16:20 'cause I know, 16:21 what it feels like to be discouraged. 16:22 I know what it feels like to be going like am I, 16:24 did I just not get it. 16:26 Did I not read that right, 16:28 and so what is your spiritual life, 16:30 are you still able to hold on to God. 16:32 Were you discouraged, were you hopeful? 16:36 Were you still praying together? 16:40 We were discouraged, 16:41 but we were still praying about it, 16:44 we're still hoping from day to day, you know, 16:48 if this isn't to be a call then what are we do to next. 16:53 So, and that took a different turn for us, 16:57 I had my daughter and... 17:00 Have fun... Yes. 17:02 'Cause even we call it or not call that is incredible 17:04 to have a baby in the house... 17:06 And she was our first child 17:09 and it was pretty incredible to have faith. 17:16 And so, since we had had faith, 17:20 we decided on giving our daughter 17:22 the name of Faith. 17:24 Okay, Amen. 17:25 So, we decided to figure okay, 17:30 what are we gonna do with our lives after that. 17:32 And so I decided that I was going to take a look 17:36 at going back at school. 17:39 And so I had done a lot of research on different careers 17:43 what I thought maybe I could do or what I wanted to do 17:46 or felt led to do. 17:48 And in the end I went to a Canadian University College, 17:52 it's Burman University now and I... 17:55 I spoke there, I love that college 17:57 and beautiful area... 17:58 Yes, and at the time, he is retired now, 18:02 but the professor 18:04 that I talked to is Keith Leavitt. 18:07 And I went in and I talked with him, 18:09 and talked with him about my story 18:13 and about education and I just really felt led 18:17 that I was gonna go to college there. 18:20 And that I was gonna take elementary education, 18:22 and so that's what I did. 18:24 Incredible, so everything is going well. 18:27 Faith is born. 18:28 You are back in school, 18:31 your husband, what's his first name? 18:32 Mark. Mark is he working? 18:35 He was working some out of town 18:40 back and forth. 18:42 I was going to school, 18:45 I was doing six classes at a time 18:47 and raising my daughter at the same time. 18:50 And fortunately I had some cousins 18:54 that were living nearby. 18:55 So they helped me with child care 18:57 and then I worked in the evenings 18:59 too full time at our canteen 19:00 and our cafeteria on the campus. 19:04 So trying to get my degree 19:07 as quickly as possible and finish. 19:09 Okay did you finish? Yes, I did. 19:11 All right, congratulations. 19:14 Thank you. 19:15 Okay, you know what, I would like to break, 19:17 'cause I'd like to go on break. 19:19 And I'd like to come back because I know 19:21 that things really start to turn for you guys, 19:26 and I don't want to break that up. 19:30 So I am gonna go ahead and break 19:32 and I wanna just say this, 19:34 sometimes it's really interesting 19:35 'cause a lot of people will tell me 19:37 and I work with the most amazing folks, 19:40 you know, Lisa, I think you're amazing. 19:42 But I work with the most amazing folks they will say, 19:45 you know, what I just have a normal life 19:47 but then they talk about mothers 19:48 dying of cancer at 19 and being on their own, 19:51 and being afraid and all of that kind of stuff. 19:54 And it's like I don't think any of us have normal lives. 19:56 I don't think any of us can escape by 19:59 and not have these kind of everyday things 20:01 that we have to deal with. 20:02 And when we have these everyday things. 20:04 When things are, kind of overwhelming at times 20:10 and we kind of find out how to walk through that. 20:12 When it actually ramps up or that fire heats up, 20:15 what do we do next? 20:17 And so when we come back, you're gonna hear some things 20:18 with Lisa that did heated up. 20:20 They really went from the frying pan to the fire, 20:26 I mean, I know that's, kind of a crazy thing to say, 20:28 but they really did. 20:29 So we will be right back, stay with us, 20:31 see you on the other side. |
Revised 2016-09-29