Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Shannon Ethridge
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00031C
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00:12 You know Shannon and I said goodbye and I was going
00:15 to let her go, but I have one more thing that 00:17 I want to so talk about. 00:18 I was amazed in my own recovery, my own sexual healing of 00:24 how God has changed me from how I felt so 00:27 not good enough. 00:29 So ugly and so ashamed of who I was, to I feel so amazing 00:32 as a woman of God standing in the presence of a Holy God 00:36 and just thinking I belong here. 00:38 I want you to talk about that, how was that for you and what 00:41 kind of things can people look forward to in recovery? 00:44 I remember before recovery, just how I was 00:48 such a driven person. 00:49 And I felt like I had to earn people's attention and 00:53 affection, and it was just all about on a treadmill. 00:56 Just trying to earn and perform, perform, perform 00:59 keep the mask in place and all that. 01:01 But I remember that when I was at home by myself, 01:04 or with my kids. 01:05 Just that deep sense of depression. 01:07 It was like this dark cloud around me all the time I 01:10 remember pulling the covers up over my head and praying Lord, 01:13 just let them sleep thirty more minutes or Lord just let them 01:15 watch one more Barney tape. 01:17 I just could not function. 01:19 I only went out of the house when I absolutely had to. 01:22 I didn't understand that this is depression that is caused 01:25 by unresolved stuff. 01:27 If you just resolve it, then the light will come on, 01:30 the joy will return. 01:32 I would never want to go back, there and you know people 01:34 sometimes ask me, aren't you afraid you will stumble and 01:37 fall back into that? 01:38 Well know I'm cautious, because the Bible says that we need 01:41 to be wise that way. 01:42 But I would never choose to go back there again. 01:45 I know I know how wonderful recovery feels, I know how it 01:49 feels to be sexually confident wife and to enjoy an intimate, 01:52 passionate, romantic encounter with my husband. 01:55 I would never go back to the cheap stuff. 01:56 It's like what you've had Filet Mignon, why would you eat 01:59 stale or week-old hamburger? 02:01 Because being present and knowing who you are and 02:04 enjoying who you are sensually, sexually and all that 02:06 kind of stuff is incredible. 02:08 And I am not even talking about just the intimate act. 02:10 I'm talking about the relationship and standing there 02:13 as a woman of God and confident in who you are. 02:15 And it's your relationship with everyone in your life with 02:18 your children, with your husband, with your friends, with 02:20 your church, with God. 02:21 Everything is transformed when you put it all, like you 02:24 said, when you put it out there on the table for healing. 02:26 I remember driving down this street one day. 02:28 I'm driving down the street saying God, you know, I just 02:31 turned 50, and I want to figure out, I want somebody to 02:34 look at me and tell me I'm cute or flirt with me. 02:37 I'm married, so God is like Hon, I can't do that for you. 02:41 As He is talking to me the Holy Spirit, I pass this sign 02:44 on the side of the road, and there is this incredibly good 02:46 looking insurance guy, where the make the eyes look like 02:49 they follow every car, and he is smiling. 02:51 I hear the Holy Spirit, and I look at the sign I hear the 02:54 Holy Spirit say that's the best I can do for you. 02:56 How is that! 02:58 So, I think even God laughs at our journey as we get 03:01 through all this kindof stuff and let it fall from us. 03:04 He kind of smiles with us and He loves us, but He's saying 03:07 He'll do it, because as you get done with this you are not 03:10 going to look for billboards to smile at you. 03:12 Or people to flirt with you which means nothing. 03:15 You are actually going to feel present and enjoy the intimate 03:19 relationships in your life. 03:20 Friends, church people, definitely husband's, children, 03:24 I think when we don't heal sexually we can't even really 03:28 love our children, as we should. 03:30 Right, it's like we get the attention and affection we 03:33 craved, but it's in a much healthier form. 03:35 It's something we can be proud of, not something that 03:38 we have to hide from other people. 03:39 When someone says, and again, I just think you for answering 03:42 that when somebody says to me that Cheri, you just look 03:46 like you love God, and there is so much joy and 03:50 I think you know. 03:51 It is that God has taken all the junk you know, 03:55 I have said before on another show if you have skeletons 03:57 in your closets, take them out, teach them to dance, 04:00 because they are not going to go away, 04:03 and it means everything. 04:04 It means that the twisted stuff that we learned before 04:07 we learn to speak sometimes for some of us and the junk 04:10 we have learned in relationships and how freely we kind 04:13 of give ourselves in relationships and friendships 04:17 and what ever to each other and how God. 04:20 Just so, I think it grieves God, because He knows, and Shannon, 04:24 you covered this in one of your books about the woman at the 04:28 well is God meets this women that has had five marriages, 04:32 she is not married to the person that she's lived with. 04:35 He never looked at her in shame. 04:36 He just said, you know what come and heal here, 04:40 drink from this water. 04:42 Let me teach you what it feels like to be a woman, 04:45 to be well to be healed. 04:47 And you will never go back to that, you'll never seek 04:50 this from someone else. 04:51 That hole in your heart that is so huge and so empty, 04:54 it will never be empty again and it will be filled with 04:58 the only person that can fill it and that is God Himself 05:01 through the Holy Spirit. 05:02 And I just beg you to give God a chance. 05:05 Let him come in, and even slowly. 05:08 If the only thing I can say to Him one day is you know what, 05:11 I'm kind of a mess. 05:12 You know all of heaven would be cracking up, 05:14 but He'll let you go there. 05:17 And I'm kind of a mess and I might need a little healing, 05:20 and He says okay, we'll start there, then as you are able to 05:24 share with Him more of the serious things. 05:26 Definitely the early molesting was hard for me to 05:28 bring to the table. 05:29 The significance of that, the young relationships that were 05:32 so young were hard, but at every single thing, 05:35 He said, you know what I'm glad you brought that up because 05:37 I have a feeling here that is some believable and so for 05:40 one I want to say trust God trust God in every single 05:43 shadow, in every single dark place in your life, every single 05:46 shameful thing you have in your life and I beg you, 05:50 just give Him a chance and remember, see you next time, 05:53 but always remember till then that God is crazy about you, 05:56 I'm crazy about you. 05:57 Stay true to your recovery bye, bye! 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Revised 2014-12-17