Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Lemuel Vega
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00038A
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00:10 Welcome to Celebrating Life and Recovery
00:11 I'm your host Cheri, and today I'm going to introduce 00:14 you to a friend of mine that literally came out of 00:16 prison and stepped into recovery. 00:18 It is absolutely the coolest thing ever. 00:20 Come join us in the café. 00:48 Welcome back, you know, what is interesting to me is 00:52 that when you talk about somebody coming out of prison, 00:55 coming out of that lifestyle. 00:57 I was on the street for ten years and 01:00 most of you know that. 01:01 I came out of some horrendous things, but the people 01:03 that I ran went in and out of jail, and in 01:06 and our of their addictions. 01:07 I would have given anything had all of them 01:09 came out at the same time. 01:10 had all of them had joined me in my recovery, 01:13 but that didn't happen. 01:14 Most of them didn't come out. 01:15 Most of them, I know didn't even live long after I came out. 01:19 So whenever I hear a prison story of somebody coming out 01:22 of jail at actually been successful in recovery. 01:25 I want to look at God and kiss Him on the face, I want 01:27 to just grab Him and say thank you for not giving up. 01:30 I want to even grab the person in recovery and say, 01:32 thank you that you fought through every single thing 01:35 that you had to fight through. 01:36 And I know it's not easy, but God bless you. 01:38 And today I want to introduce you to a friend that has come 01:42 from that background, and never gave up right? 01:44 Lemuel never gave up. 01:46 Cheri I want to say thank you for your enthusiasm, 01:50 for this program, and there have been days where it 01:55 seemed like there was nowhere to turn. 01:56 And I have lost many of my partners and friends too. 01:58 Drug addiction and that is not enough to change us. 02:01 Prison itself does not heal us. 02:05 We can go to prison and spend years incarcerated, 02:08 and that is not enough to fix us. 02:10 You know, that is why our prison rate is like 80 percent 02:13 that we return to prison. 02:15 Because the prison system, locking us up and throwing 02:17 the key away doesn't change your heart. 02:19 And that is a problem that I see in society. 02:22 In my life they tried medicating me as a young 02:26 child to predict my behavior. 02:28 So tell us who you were as a young child, because it 02:32 doesn't start where you just walk in a prison. 02:34 As a young child I want to say that the first few years of 02:37 my life, I was a raised a lot by my 02:41 grandmother and my aunt. 02:42 Where was your Dad? 02:44 We lived in Chicago, and we spent my summers 02:47 down there that is where I got my greater part of 02:48 Christianity was from my grandmother and aunt. 02:50 I remember those days. 02:52 Training as a child, you don't forget. 02:54 Before I was in first grade, I remember 02:58 two miracles in my life. 02:59 We were out making straw in the field, 03:02 and I had lost my glasses. 03:04 And my mother after about a half an hour 03:06 she said, let's pray. 03:07 And so we all get down in the field and we have 03:09 prayer that they would find my glasses, because I 03:12 couldn't see without them. 03:13 Just a few moments later there they were. 03:16 So that increased my faith in Jesus as a little boy. 03:19 And then one time when my brother and I was playing 03:21 in a tall corn field, and we were lost. 03:24 We're done playing, and in an 80 acre field. 03:26 We wanted to go home and could not find our way out. 03:29 And I said let's pray. 03:31 You said that - yeah! 03:32 My brother and I kneeled down in the cornfield 03:34 and we prayed. 03:35 And the next way we went that was the way out. 03:37 So I believed in Jesus from a little boy. 03:41 But by the time I was in first grade I had 03:45 been robbed in Chicago. 03:46 I had been robbed, they stole my little nickels and 03:49 balloons, so I had been robbed. 03:50 You personally got robbed. 03:52 I personally got robbed. 03:53 Oh shut up you're like in the first grade. 03:55 I wasn't even in first grade yet. 03:57 We lived in a high-rise apartment complex in Chicago. 04:01 I had went down to the sidewalk to meet my brother 04:04 get off the bus. 04:05 My mother told me never to go under the viaduct. 04:07 I went under the viaduct, were she couldn't see me, 04:09 and these guys came and they said you have 04:13 anything in that toolbox? 04:14 I had a little tool box with me, 04:15 And they said to you have anything in that toolbox? 04:17 yeah, I've got a couple nickels and some balloons. 04:19 They said there's a guy is going to come and rob 04:21 you so give it here. 04:22 So I sit my toolbox down and I opened it up, 04:23 I gave it to him, he busted me in my stomach and 04:25 took off with the balloons in the nickels. 04:27 He hits you even, Oh! 04:28 So I was robbed before I was in first grade. 04:31 And what is really for a lot of people they don't 04:35 understand that some places you're raised and that's 04:37 just what happens. 04:39 Day in and day out - day in and day out. 04:40 There were a lot gang type people that hung 04:44 around our apartment building. 04:45 One day we were coming out of the apartment with my mom. 04:47 She had two children, one in each hand 04:49 that I can remember. 04:50 She said, don't look back. 04:52 And we left that apartment and all these people were out 04:54 there, and I turned to look back. 04:55 I smiled at this guy and he smiled back. 04:59 So I knew that these people that my mom were afraid of, 05:02 that there were something in their heart too. 05:05 So, that was a blessing as a young boy. 05:06 I was introduced to sexual things before 05:11 I was in first grade. 05:12 That encounter inspired me then, it set me on the wrong 05:17 road in life because that's what I was seeking for. 05:19 It awoken all the sexual stuff, in you 05:22 - which shouldn't be awoken yet. 05:24 No it shouldn't be. 05:25 First grade seem like it went relatively well. 05:28 I was thinking I was still a happy kid in first grade, 05:31 but by the time I was in second grade, the teacher 05:33 was tying me in my seat with a jump rope. 05:35 I mean taking a jump rope and tying me fast in my seat 05:38 in school, because I was unmanageable. 05:41 For a second grader to be this unmanageable, it is 05:44 medication ain't going to do it. 05:47 I've seen psychiatrists-I can't imagine being tied down 05:50 with the humiliation with your friends. 05:52 I understand what she was trying to do, but as your 05:56 friends and your peers that must have been goofy. 05:59 It didn't work, I mean, it didn't work, it didn't 06:02 control my behavior. 06:03 I never got recess, and the only way I got my 06:06 homework done, is that I would go up to get the 06:08 teachers editions off the desk, because she was out 06:10 with the children with recess. 06:12 I would get my homework done ahead of time two or three 06:14 weeks ahead of time and one day she came back. 06:16 Got my book and she looked through it. 06:18 She didn't say a word she put it back. 06:19 I remember buying my first pack of cigarettes 06:22 in second grade. 06:24 They were thirty five cents, and I thought if I can 06:26 sell these for a nickel apiece, I'll make a dollar. 06:28 So that's started very young in my mind to 06:30 try to make money. 06:31 In a Christian school we got caught smoking cigarettes. 06:36 I was smoking cigarettes with a seventh grade girl. 06:38 We was out smoking cigarettes, I couldn't sell them. 06:40 I was giving them for her to smoke, and she 06:42 would give me candy. 06:43 So then I went to a stop smoking deal. 06:47 The principal said, in order to come back to school I 06:48 had to go to a five-day stop smoking plan, whatever. 06:50 So I said to my mom I really wasn't smoking, but I will go. 06:53 After the program there were police up there and 06:57 they showed all the parents all the things about drugs, 06:59 marijuana, what is this, what is that. 07:01 So I got an education on the uppers, downers, 07:05 what is this, what is that. 07:06 So, what I started hearing that stuff on the street, 07:08 that is what I sought after even though I didn't 07:10 know for sure what it was. 07:12 Because I had heard it I had gotten that understanding. 07:15 So even when you said, you heard it and literally enticed 07:22 you, rather than repulsed you? 07:24 Exactly-so it's like I have got to find 07:26 that that must be fun. 07:28 What is an upper, what is a downer. 07:29 So, I learned as a young boy, what I thought - what 07:36 kind of guy were you? 07:38 I mean is kid, were you angry, were you everybody's 07:42 friend, I mean, what kind of guy were you? 07:43 I never fit in anywhere. 07:45 I never fit in school, I had hardly any friends, I was 07:48 kicked out of every school maybe two times in a year. 07:51 I would go to one school or two schools in one year. 07:52 So you weren't there long enough to 07:54 connect with anybody? 07:55 No - really - no! 07:57 I got bullied when I was a little kid, I was fat and 08:00 couldn't do any push-ups, couldn't do any sit ups, I 08:02 didn't fit in nowhere. 08:04 And I wanted to fit in. 08:05 And you know, I didn't feel like I fit in real good 08:07 with the family, because my poor dad had to come down 08:10 to teachers conferences, come down to the jail, had to 08:12 send me to counseling, and all these issues. 08:14 So, I felt a real problem child, which I really was. 08:17 When you said down to jail, were you in juvenile hall too? 08:20 I mean did you start going into jail as a kid or a 08:24 I was on my way there, because I would 08:26 not obey my parents. 08:27 My dad couldn't beat it into me. 08:30 Because beating I grew up, do as I say, and finally 08:33 he said, if you don't want to respect the rules in my 08:36 house, you can get out. 08:37 And I said fine and at that point I left. 08:40 I don't know if I was sixteen years old, 08:41 right in that age somewhere. 08:44 So life at that point, I believe I already 08:48 found about alcohol. 08:49 That would stand down at the 7-Eleven, and I'd say 08:51 I'd buy you a six-pack if you'd buy me a six-pack. 08:53 I would drink three or four quick. 08:54 I'd go home and go to sleep, not meaning no harm, 08:57 just to make the pain of life go away. 09:00 And life shouldn't have been painful for me because I 09:02 a loving family, loving mother. 09:04 I used to take a razor blade, and like cut my arms, cut them. 09:08 I never knew why until I heard on one of your last shows 09:11 about a girl cutting herself on your last series. 09:15 It was Vickie Duffey. 09:16 I never understood, through that I was getting some type 09:18 of release, and I felt like the bad guy. 09:21 And I would tear up my room, I would trash my room. 09:23 I would break my guitar, break my lights. 09:25 I would just frustrate my grand parents, they would 09:27 give me gifts, underwear, socks, 09:29 and new clothes for Christmas. 09:30 I didn't feel worthy, I didn't feel 09:32 I was worth anything. 09:34 You know what's horrible, I think when I hear you speak, 09:36 is for a child they cannot figure out why is this. 09:40 Why don't I fit in. 09:41 Why don't I belong anywhere, we don't know why, we don't 09:45 have any idea about genetic 09:46 predispositions, or that you have a disorder, or that 09:50 you're hyperactivity or any of that kind of stuff. 09:53 I just know I don't fit in. 09:54 I just know that nobody wants me, I just know that when 09:57 I walk in the room everybody is like. 09:59 And it's like, how do I deal with that. 10:02 And so like you said, I just ripped things 10:04 up and I just broke things. 10:05 And that make you fit in less. 10:07 And then they send you to a psychiatrist, and tell you 10:10 well have a good week, keep your chin up, come back. 10:13 I felt like they did really care about me. 10:15 I mean, you go in there and sit down for an hour, 10:17 well, what are you thinking. 10:18 Well you're afraid to tell them what you are thinking 10:19 because then they want to lock you up or tell you that 10:21 you're really messed up. 10:22 And just as an example because I was a student one time 10:28 going into the mental health field. 10:30 So I was a student and they sent somebody like you and 10:32 fourteen years old. 10:34 I said to him, as a student I don't know anything, what 10:36 are you thinking, and he said, do you know I just want 10:38 to take a sledgehammer and bash somebody's face in. 10:41 And I'm like this student and I'm thinking, okay. 10:44 So it is like being able to say, that's what I feel, 10:47 but I know if I tell you that you're going to slam me 10:50 with the authorities and lock me up. 10:52 But how do you said to someone because I feel 10:55 inadequate, out of control. 10:56 Because when you say that I feel like I want to kill somebody, 10:58 not that I am going to, but that is what I feel like. 11:00 So what you do is you go back in your quiet and cut 11:03 yourself some more. 11:04 I remember as a young boy, I told my mom that I'm just 11:07 going to run away. 11:08 And she said, well I will help you pack your bags. 11:09 And I packed my suitcase and I got down to flights of stairs 11:13 and I thought, where am I going to run to. 11:15 So I had this in my life, work came from, I don't know. 11:19 As a little child, I just wanted to run away. 11:21 So that laid out something in my life, 11:24 I never wanted to be responsible. 11:26 Responsibility for me has been hard, along with 11:28 many of my friends and partners, drug addictions, 11:31 and alcoholism. 11:32 We don't know how to be responsible. 11:33 Once we get started down that road, responsibility seems 11:35 like something we do not know how to deal with. 11:37 However, just because I feel I understand you just 11:42 because of my own childhood. 11:43 The first time I did drugs were I really got high, 11:47 I didn't have any of that stress. 11:49 Do you have that sense, response? 11:51 Yeah, I was free. 11:52 Finally, for the first time, I found something that works. 11:54 Where I fit in, is I didn't fit in the school, 11:57 I didn't fit in society, I fit in when I began 12:01 to meet people with drugs. 12:03 I had the money they had the drugs, I began to sell 12:07 drugs for people so I finally fit in. 12:10 People will call me and I would go to see them, 12:14 So I felt like a little businessman. 12:16 I felt like hey, I can make this work. 12:17 So then, one day my mother was in the grocery 12:21 store, and she always had to put back the 12:24 groceries she couldn't really afford. 12:26 Like the extra things, I mean to get the bread and 12:28 the things that she needed, the necessities and if there was 12:30 enough money left she'd buy these few things. 12:32 And one day I was able to get my mother some money, 12:35 I said here mom, buy it all. 12:37 And she said where did you to get the money son? 12:39 I said mom, I worked for it. 12:41 And at that young age in my life, I thought that if I 12:44 could have enough money, money would take care of the problems 12:47 for the car, the house. 12:48 Money would fix the life's problems. 12:50 And you know what by the time I was eighteen years old. 12:53 I had thousands of dollars. 12:54 At my dad was right, he said son, if you don't 12:57 straighten up, you're going to be in prison by the time 13:00 you are eighteen years old. 13:01 And I had to cry, eighteen years old I had to cry and look 13:05 through that little window, and my dad was 13:07 sitting on other side. 13:08 I said Daddy, you're right, and I said I'm sorry. 13:11 So through all that our lives are so messed up an 13:14 unmanageable, as children, the psychiatrist in my 13:19 life did not have the answers. 13:20 In a medication that they gave me that said I 13:22 would have be on the rest of my life, that didn't 13:24 do the trick either. 13:25 So here I go off to prison as a young man unmanageable. 13:28 And I can't even imagine you sitting in prison now, 13:33 say now what, I mean, now, what? 13:35 What was prison life like and what was your crime. 13:39 Burglary, drugs, and arson. 13:42 And how long did you stay in? 13:45 I spent a year in the county jail and three years 13:47 in am maximum security prison. 13:49 What was that like, because that was a whole different 13:51 world, I whole different culture. 13:52 First of all, I would tell you I gave my lawyer 13:55 thousands of dollars. 13:56 He promised me he would get me to work camp, 13:58 I gave him thousands of dollars. 14:00 Here are I was let down again. 14:01 There went my money and they put me 14:03 in a maximum - security prison. 14:05 So when you walk into prison, you've got a little gold, 14:07 nice watch, and all the stuff from the world. 14:09 And all of a sudden all these people say gimme that, let 14:12 me buy that, than say man, you better get you a shank. 14:15 And I'm like man, you know, I found myself handcuffed. 14:19 For somebody that doesn't know what a shank is. 14:21 A shank is a weapon, homemade weapon to stab somebody 14:24 to defend yourself. 14:25 At that moment I was scared to death, because if 14:29 they are telling me I need this, I was scared to 14:31 go to bed tonight. 14:32 And in this world, you need to defend yourself. 14:36 You need to be able to do if something comes down. 14:39 You need to step up to the plate. 14:41 I found myself shackled and handcuffed to some guy I 14:45 didn't even know doing life in prison. 14:47 So we get off this bus at the back gate, the Indiana 14:50 reformatory, with a thirty foot wall and a gun tower. 14:53 I was just like unbelievable here we are. 14:56 Here you're eighteen, he's older doing life, 14:58 he has nothing to lose. 14:59 Nothing to lose - you better not say anything wrong. 15:02 I get into the prison there and I talked to my counselor 15:08 and got me a cell house and I didn't run with nobody. 15:12 I mean, I loved everybody, I mean, you're my friend. 15:15 It's like I say they've got lots of 15:17 little groups and clicks. 15:19 If I set on the black side of the chow hall or the white side. 15:22 It didn't matter to me, because we're all here together, 15:25 It was like college campus, yes, there was terrible 15:29 things that went on. 15:30 I was going to say you'd never been to college. 15:32 Because I'm thinking, I don't know if 15:34 it was like college campus. 15:36 I've never been to college, I should have 15:37 been graduated from college. 15:38 But in prison - it's a whole different kind of college. 15:41 There were people who lost their lives 15:43 during my incarceration. 15:44 There were people that got sexually abused. 15:46 There's lots of terrible issues that go on in prison, 15:49 but if you conduct yourself in a way, by God's grace, 15:55 prison, went well for me until the last year I was there. 16:01 Why what happened in the last year. 16:04 My brother got out, my brother and I went there on the 16:06 same charge, so we were in the same prison. 16:07 My brother got out before I did and I had this group of 16:10 inmates come up to me and they said, you need to either 16:13 start paying us, giving us sex, or get a man. 16:17 You get a man that you get hooked up with somebody who 16:19 looks out for you or whatever. 16:20 I was sick, I had stayed my cell that day for lunch. 16:23 Can I just say, because the people when I was homeless 16:28 for ten years, people I loved one in and out of prison. 16:30 When they went in they would come out so twisted that it 16:34 was almost like we had to help them heal from all the 16:38 damage that happened to them behind the bars. 16:40 It was that culture there was nothing, you didn't decide 16:43 whether you wanted to step into that or not. 16:45 You're in this, you are going to survive it 16:47 the best you can. 16:48 I was surprised at how wounded some of my friends were 16:52 when they came out. 16:53 It's crazy in prison. 16:54 You see two men rolling around on the playground, 16:57 I mean rolling and kissing and hugging. 16:59 Then you see people threatening people, and running 17:01 stores, extortion, yes they have drugs in prison, yes, 17:05 they make alcohol in prison. 17:06 So, those things are very, very real. 17:10 And we have a choice in or out of prison, 17:12 how we are going to live. 17:13 And I chose the wrong way when I was out here in society. 17:15 When I was in prison, yes, I sold drugs, 17:17 And yes I didn't do the right things. 17:19 My brother got out of prison a year before I did. 17:22 These guys come up and threatened me, told me I either 17:24 needed to get a man, start paying him or give him sex. 17:26 I said look, man, I've been here too long for that. 17:29 I said you need to take that stuff somewhere else. 17:31 And that evening they came back to me, I was outside of 17:34 my cell at this time, they came back to me and they told 17:36 me, do you remember what we were talking about? 17:38 I said yes I do, they said what are you going to do about it? 17:41 I turned and looked out the window and said not a thing. 17:44 And it beat me up so bad, I was three stories up and 17:49 they beat me so bad. 17:50 I went to the chow hall to see my friend, my friend is 17:55 from Gary's and he's been there for twenty some years, 17:57 been locked up many, many years. 17:58 He had stood up for me a few months before that. 18:01 I was all my work and he said, Vega. What's wrong? 18:05 I said why do you ask me what's wrong? 18:07 Because in prison, you don't tell people your problems, 18:09 because then they want to dig into your life and make 18:13 use of your problems. 18:14 So I said, why do you ask me what is wrong? 18:16 He said, because I don't see your smile, no more. 18:18 I said really, well, these dudes over there in H cell 18:22 are talking about taking my watch. 18:23 And he sent word over there, you all leave Vega alone. 18:26 Vega don't bother nobody, you all leave Vega alone, 18:28 so it got quiet, for a few months. 18:30 This thing came down so I got beat up in 18:33 a bad way in prison. 18:35 But something happen in prison Cheri, and that was I was 18:40 smart enough, I would read my Bible. 18:41 I had a wonderful lady that would write to me, she would 18:44 write to me every day and I would get this letter every 18:46 day that said, smile God loves you keep your chin up. 18:49 And that was an encouragement to me that somebody would 18:52 care about me, not for drugs, not for money, I'm in 18:55 prison, I haven't got anything left in my life anymore. 18:57 So, that was a daily encouragement to me. 19:00 It was a lifeline - a lifeline. 19:02 I would run, any time I got in the rec yard I'd run 19:06 three or four miles a day. 19:08 I would just run and think out side of that wall. 19:10 That's what kept me thinking in a positive way. 19:15 I never hoped to get out of prison, because I hoped for 19:19 probation, my bond reduction. 19:20 My hopes were always dashed, so I didn't 19:22 hope to get out of prison. 19:23 I figured if I would stab somebody or get stabbed, 19:26 I didn't know I was afraid to hope again. 19:28 But I thought I'm getting out of prison in about a year. 19:32 Can I just stay with that for a minute? 19:34 Because one of the things that I see a lot of people 19:37 including myself have to heal from, 19:39 is that you do stop hoping. 19:41 It's like when somebody says do you have 19:43 any dreams or anything. 19:44 It's like, what are you talking about. 19:46 It is as if you have a dream, somebody can take it so 19:48 you literally force yourself never to think that 19:52 you are going to get something. 19:53 Or that you going to be something. 19:55 or you're going to be able to arrive at something. 19:58 And the better you can do that, 20:00 the easier your life becomes. 20:03 Right you are protected by not sharing your dreams. 20:05 You just keep them to yourself. 20:07 You know to be when you even said that just then, I 20:10 remember the sadness of having most my life ever daring 20:14 to hope for something. 20:15 I wanted to say to you, Lem, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 20:19 It really is a horrible place to be, to know that I 20:23 don't dare ever dream anymore. 20:25 Because I don't want to hurt anymore. 20:27 It was about a year before a got out of prison, that I 20:31 said if I don't quit using drugs in here, I am not going 20:34 to quit the day I walk out that front door. 20:36 And I wanted to quit, I mean, I wanted to be a 20:40 productive member of society. 20:41 I wanted to be different than when I came in that back gate. 20:44 So I quit using drugs, but I continue to sell drugs. 20:47 The day that they finally released me - 20:50 I'm sorry I'm like what. 20:51 So still, you're doing business, this is what I do. 20:55 Make money for the commissary will I did it today. 20:59 I am not going to use it no more, I'm getting out here 21:01 about a year, I don't want to use them no more, but I 21:03 continue to sell them in the prison. 21:04 And the day they let me out, I mean my pass was coming 21:08 the next day to where I was going to be released, 21:10 and I still didn't even really hope it. 21:14 I gave all my stuff away and my partner 21:17 walked me up to the gate. 21:18 And they opened the first gate, and then the 21:21 second gate and then the third gate and the fourth gate 21:25 and Donna, which is now my wife, was sitting 21:28 there in the waiting room. 21:30 And I went Cheri, and I sit in that waiting room for 21:32 two or three hours. 21:34 I didn't even leave the prison because I was scared to 21:36 leave the prison. 21:38 Because if I step out, they are going to come 21:39 up with another crime. 21:40 I just didn't know, I mean, I was scared to go back out 21:42 to society because you come in at eighteen all messed 21:45 up, and how is it going to be now? 21:47 I remember going to the mall for the first time. 21:51 I walked down through the mall and I heard all this 21:53 beep, beep, beep, beep. 21:54 When I went to prison pinball machines was a big thing. 21:56 When I came out, there was no more pinball machines, it 21:58 was all this new computer stuff. 22:00 First thing I went to buy was shirt or something and they 22:03 went to scanned it. 22:04 I can't imagine the people let's been locked 22:06 up for years and years and years and years. 22:07 Cause things were different and you'd only been 4 years or so. 22:10 So through all that stuff, I grew up, I wanted what was 22:16 right when I got out of prison. 22:18 I tried to do the right thing. 22:21 I began to go to church, we got married about a year, 22:26 about months after I got out we got married. 22:29 You know my brain is stuck right now, because I'll just 22:35 tell you why it is stuck. 22:36 When somebody said to me when I was strung out on 22:38 heroine, just stop using it your life will be different. 22:41 I stopped using it and my life was not different. 22:43 I had all this junk still. 22:44 So how did you go from stepping out of the prison 22:47 to going to church. 22:49 Did you have a fallout from your character stuff 22:51 or your junk I mean. 22:54 No, I started going to church. 22:56 I wanted what was right, and I wanted this 22:58 junk to be cleaned up. 22:59 And I went to church and tried to do what was right. 23:02 But in my life I was it was still burden down. 23:05 It's still burden down and then you start taking nerve pills. 23:10 The doctor says you're getting married you need some 23:12 nerve pills or whatever, start again. 23:15 So, that just started an addiction all over again even 23:16 though it's not cocaine and heroin or alcohol. 23:18 And it feels legal because the doctor gave it to me. 23:20 You don't want to leave home without a little bottle of 23:22 pills because it is legal. 23:23 So then I began to take drugs back to the prison, to the 23:29 police to give to my partner sell in the prison. 23:31 Then the drug addiction just all started, 23:35 it just slammed down on me. 23:37 Can I ask you, you know, I'm not going to ask you this 23:40 next question until we come back from break. 23:42 And just to set you up for this is that I want to know 23:46 you and Donna get married, and how does she take all 23:51 this in, and how was that changed for her? 23:54 Especially when you said I went right back bringing 23:56 drugs to the prison. 23:57 So, we are going to go ahead and take a break, 23:58 but I want you to stay with us, 24:00 because it is absolutely amazing. 24:02 The next few steps of Lem's life is absolutely amazing. 24:06 Who he is right now is a man of God, it's cool, 24:10 it really is cool. 24:11 He is solid, and I am not saying perfect, 24:14 but solid in his recovery. 24:16 So we will be right back. 24:17 Stay with us you are going to be blessed! |
Revised 2014-12-17