Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Lemuel Vega
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00038B
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00:13 You know on the last segment we were talking about, Lem
00:17 we were talking about you coming out of prison. 00:19 All of the sudden a doctor giving you drugs and starting 00:22 that whole cycle again. 00:23 I was going to bring your wife up and introduce Donna 00:26 and all that kind of stuff. 00:27 But I really think I would like to stay, if it is 00:30 alright with you, with just what is on your heart about 00:32 addictions, and that lifestyle, and how tough 00:34 it is to come out. 00:35 I know that for you this is a big deal, you are not 00:38 telling your story just to tell your story. 00:40 You know there is people lost our there in all this. 00:42 Cheri, I don't care how hopeless that these people at home, 00:46 in prison, around the world may feel today. 00:49 I don't care how bad your dad beat you, I don't care how much 00:52 drugs you've done, who you've robbed. 00:53 I'll tell you what, there is no hope, we continue 00:58 to do things in our lives that are un-manageable. 01:02 We continue to make the same mistakes in our life, 01:06 and we get the same results. 01:07 We go to prison and find ourselves separated from 01:09 our families and hopelessness and despair. 01:12 We want to fit in, we want to be somebody special in society. 01:15 In seeking that all my life, prison didn't teach me 01:21 nothing, the doctors couldn't help me, the psychiatrist 01:25 in my young age didn't help me. 01:26 The beatings didn't help me, sick and ready to die. 01:32 I've been out of prison Cheri, 24 years. 01:35 Sick and ready to die, 11 years ago. 01:37 I got down on my knees in a hospital room. 01:41 For the first time in my life I wanted help. 01:44 I got down on my knees and asked Jesus Christ, 01:48 I said, Will you help me? I want to quit but I can't. 01:52 And this is even in a physc unit, you're in the hospital, 01:55 and still people are bringing in drugs, 01:57 still people asking you for drugs. 01:59 So not even when you were in a safe place trying to do 02:02 recovery you still have this bombardment and saying that 02:06 doctors are going to give it to me, or people in the drug 02:09 world are going to give it to me, I just don't even know 02:12 how to get out of this. 02:13 I wanted out, I got down on my knees, I walked over and 02:16 saw the most beautiful sunset I had ever seen in my whole life. 02:19 And I knew that as God had created that for a few 02:22 moments, it was there for a few minutes, a sunset only 02:25 lasts for a few minutes. 02:26 I don't care what part of the world you are in. 02:27 Jesus Christ could create that and be gone in a few minutes. 02:31 I knew that He could help me. 02:33 I asked Him for that help in my life and Cheri I got up off my 02:37 knees, for the first time with some hope in my life. 02:40 I left my drugs in the parking lot, I didn't want them 02:43 no more, but I wanted something different. 02:45 I asked Him for help in my life. 02:47 I had some hope, was there trials, was there struggles, 02:50 Yes there was! 02:51 But I'll tell you what, for the first time in my life. 02:54 There was some meaning in my life. 02:55 Less than 24 hours clean. 02:57 It was a daily struggle, the nightmares, the bad dreams. 03:02 My sponsor told me make 90 meetings in 90 days. 03:05 You know, I never heard about Narcotics Anonymous 03:09 before, or Alcoholics Anonymous before. 03:11 I never went to Narcotics Anonymous meeting, but I went 03:14 to my third meeting with about 4 or 5 days clean. 03:18 There was this lady sitting across the room in a red coat. 03:21 She had blonde hair, and I couldn't even look at her. 03:24 She was telling me she had five years clean, to keep coming back 03:28 I couldn't even hope to have a week clean. 03:31 I had just had a few days so, I don't care where you 03:34 are at in society, your problems and issues. 03:37 Ask Jesus Christ for help with your life you've 03:40 never really been able to do it on your own, as 03:43 I was never able to do it my own. 03:44 But I know that He will help you, He will empower you, 03:47 you will be forgiven for the burdens of guilt that your 03:50 are carrying through society. 03:52 What ever it is you've done there is 03:53 forgiveness and hope. 03:54 You can feel that, when God steps in, you can feel that. 03:57 God doesn't shame you or condemn you in any sense. 04:00 You know, I was so crazy Cheri the world is so messed up. 04:05 I mean, I was going to meetings from 8 to 10 at night. 04:08 Then I'd go home, I'd rent three or four videos and 04:11 watch all these gangster robberies and murders in 04:14 drugs and all this stuff. 04:15 So I would sit up for hours watching that stuff, 04:17 but yet I'm trying to stay recovered. 04:19 In society, I do not think we realize the stuff we 04:21 put into our minds. 04:23 The magazines, in Hollywood and all that stuff they 04:27 sell it to us on every corner. 04:28 But when we go out and act out on it, 04:31 then we get locked up for it. 04:33 And so we just feel hopeless, I mean, I got rid of my 04:36 TV when I probably had maybe a year clean. 04:40 You just said I can't do it, I can't watch this stuff 04:43 and stay in recovery. 04:44 So, did you feel or know that that was God saying Lem, 04:48 you can't keep feeding this into your head. 04:51 I wasn't sure where it came from. 04:52 I had started reading the Bible. 04:54 And I wanted what was right, I think that was just a way 04:57 for Him to help me get a more meaningful relationship 04:59 with Him, because we can't have both. 05:01 I mean we can't have the world and have a good 05:03 meaningful relationship with purpose and meaning. 05:06 And it takes time, so it don't give up. 05:08 I mean ask for help, don't give up, because it takes a 05:10 it's a daily relationship. 05:12 If you asked the Bible says in Matthew 7:7, "ask and you 05:16 shall receive", does it stop there? 05:18 No, it says, "seek and you shall find. " 05:20 So we don't just ask and sit around and wait for. 05:22 We have to seek, knock and it shall be open unto you. 05:25 So as we seek some different in our lives. 05:28 We've tried everything else from young children, 05:29 trying to find hope and happiness, to fit into society, 05:32 we try from young children, and it still hasn't worked. 05:35 So I don't care if you're in prison for the 20th time, 05:37 for many years in prison. 05:39 I don't care - or if you're in prison and somebody 05:42 can't even see the bars. 05:43 You can't even see the bars. 05:44 I meet a lot of people that are not physically in 05:46 prison, they've never been in that lifestyle, but 05:49 they're addictions have got them so locked up that 05:51 they don't even relate to people anymore. 05:52 They have no true connection with anybody, that's 05:55 workaholism, that's Religiosity, that's gambling, 05:58 that's sex addictions and all that. 06:00 So their bars are different than your bars, 06:02 the prison is the same. 06:03 Right, we are empty inside. 06:05 Life has not given us those happy moments and 06:08 dreams that we thought. 06:09 The new car, don't glitter no more. 06:11 The new house, don't fix inside. 06:12 And the judges they can't legislate it. 06:15 The doctors they can't come and give it to you in a pill. 06:17 They can give you a happy pill, they can numb you, but they 06:20 don't give you that peace, that joy, that everlasting 06:22 purpose and meaning that Jesus Christ does. 06:24 And that's what we're all seeking is purpose and meaning. 06:27 When you decided to disconnect from all the kind of junk 06:29 you were watching for entertainment, was that hard? 06:32 That's like another withdrawal it seems like. 06:34 It was, it was very hard. 06:36 Those things tantalize our senses. 06:38 I mean, we sit there, there was a phrase that was 06:42 coined in society; just say no, just say no to drugs, 06:45 or just say no to sin, give me a break, 06:47 It Ain't That Easy. 06:49 We of our own just can't say no. 06:50 And there was another phrase coined, just do it. 06:53 You know just do it, just do it. 06:55 So everybody is running around just do it. 06:57 So we get comfortable in society, to fulfill the 07:00 lust of the flesh, the passions. 07:02 We want to feel good all the time, but I'll tell you 07:04 when we say no to the world and say yes to Jesus Christ we 07:09 feel good all the time. 07:10 Are there still problems in life, yes there are 07:13 still problems in life but He never gives us a 07:15 trial or a burden that is greater than what His grace 07:19 provides us to overcome that. 07:20 So that peace and stability last and it's 07:23 worth holding on to. 07:24 There is nothing that the world has to offer. 07:27 Millions of dollar can't give you the pure living water 07:31 of Jesus Christ, the purpose and the meaning. 07:33 That's huge, and it's really tough to explain that 07:35 until you feel it. 07:36 You know, the first time I felt that, I felt like, I got up 07:39 and I thought if it my birthday or something. 07:41 Cause I felt joy and hope, and I heard the 07:43 Holy Spirit say, I know this is health, 07:45 and I'm like shut up, this is good. 07:47 But to not feel that loneliness, not to fill that 07:51 anxiety about trying to live up all the time. 07:54 God says you are my child and I absolutely adore you. 07:57 I absolutely, everything that I am, I want 08:00 to pour into you. 08:01 When you are stepping away from those things in 08:04 your life, Lem, what else really helped you? 08:07 Because sometimes I think people forget to say what helped. 08:10 It helped me to disconnect from all the violence, 08:12 or the sexualized commercial. 08:14 The music, the music, when I drive down the road I 08:16 leave the radio off, the music. 08:18 I want to take walks, I'd rather help my wife plant 08:20 flowers and just do some things outside in nature. 08:23 So you'd disconnected you literally unplugged? 08:26 Right, you know, there's no sense starting your day 08:28 watching the news media and get ten minutes of 08:31 negativity in your day. 08:33 You are better off picking up the Bible, 08:34 or go for a walk and listen to the birds and say 08:36 Lord I need your help today. 08:38 Ask Him not knowing where He's going to take you, 08:41 but knowing that you can trust were Jesus Christ will 08:43 take you throughout society. 08:45 So as you ask, and say Lord, I need Your help today. 08:48 Then you are opening the door to your heart, 08:50 and actually seeking His will for your life, 08:52 and it doesn't change overnight. 08:54 But hey, the TV's gone, that junks gone, 08:56 and I can think clearer. 08:57 And I'll tell you something else Cheri, that I hope our 09:01 viewers will really pay attention to. 09:02 Water is so very important, I tell you what 09:06 we don't even think that. 09:07 When we first get in recovery, somebody says, 09:09 let's have some water. 09:10 Oh I can't stomach that give me some tequila. 09:13 You know, I mean it's true. 09:14 But there is a book called The Body Many Cries for Water. 09:19 I read that, I read part of that yep. 09:20 I mean, our brain is made up of like 70 percent water, 09:23 or something like that I'm not sure. 09:25 So what happens is your kidneys and all them 09:28 other things, they will go without water so that 09:31 your brain can still think. 09:32 So water, you know what I went to the hospital for 09:35 drug rehabilitation, they didn't tell me about 09:38 health and nutrition. 09:39 A mean, you still eat the way you eat, you sleep 09:40 when you sleep, or whatever. 09:41 I got real sick after about a year clean, somewhere in there. 09:46 I got real sick I had this physical problem, 09:49 and I went to this health nutritional place. 09:52 I had the doctors come in and they examined me. 09:54 Before they examined me, they got down on their knees 09:57 and had prayer with me. 09:58 They said, Lord help us to understand what Lemuel's 10:01 problem is, and I'll tell you what, they told me 10:05 the nuts and bolts about nutrition. 10:07 I mean, I began to understand that I can't drink 10:10 Pepsi anymore, why can I drink Pepsi anymore, 10:12 because I'm clean for 2 or 3 months and 10:15 find myself, I'll drink a half pop, 10:17 and that little bit of caffeine buzz makes me feel good. 10:20 And then I want to feel good all the time and now 10:22 I see on every street corner, we've got all these 10:25 energy drinks, we've got jolt Cola, jolt gum. 10:27 We have got all this stuff to keep us going. 10:29 And that's not the right keep a going we want to keep a-going. 10:32 Because you had that crash, and also what is really 10:35 interesting to me, the first time I had an energy drink, 10:38 and I had it while we were doing a building project, 10:40 and didn't think anything of it. 10:41 I don't think it's a drug or anything. 10:43 I had this energy drink and I'm sitting there in the 10:45 quiet of building this project, just taking a break. 10:48 And I thought, I wonder what ecstasy is like? 10:50 I was thinking, where did that thought come from. 10:53 But for myself being an addict it just hooks 10:55 right into that wanting to feel good and feel 10:58 you could feel better if you take this. 10:59 So, I think that in God's mercy says don't stimulate 11:04 yourself with these kind of drinks or this kind of junk. 11:09 I learned at that little medical seminar, even about sugar. 11:14 In a Mountain Dew, you've got 39 grams of sugar, 11:17 and that's like 10 teaspoons of sugar in a soda. 11:20 So if you're taking 10 teaspoons of sugar, sugar 11:23 weakens your immune system, it makes our brain foggy 11:26 and cloudy and stuff. 11:27 So, it doesn't just have to be alcohol and drugs. 11:30 I am not trying to tell you this stuff to discourage you. 11:33 Yes it is a blessing to be off of the drugs. 11:36 But then, we don't have to do it, as we ask God 11:39 for help in our life He brings the recovery and the 11:42 healing, we'll probably still have scars, 11:44 we will have scars all our lives. 11:46 I don't care if you have a bullet wound. 11:47 I don't care if you have emotional scars. 11:49 I don't care if you got brain damage, I mean, 11:51 we do have to have scars in our life that we will 11:53 probably carry to the grave until Jesus comes back 11:55 and changes us in the twinkling of an eye. 11:57 They were changed forever for Him if we have been willing 12:00 as we have been willing to seek Him daily to be our guide. 12:03 You know I'm going to ask you, I'm going to open it up. 12:06 Nyse Collins is on the set today in the café. 12:10 Nyse, I always tease him about being our resident health nut. 12:15 And I really mean that in a good way, but I want him and 12:18 you to kind of dialogue a little bit more about what 12:20 actually helps in our recovery, because I think 12:23 sometimes we forget that. 12:24 We really look at the spiritual sense of what that 12:26 means and what I do as far as not taking this drug, 12:29 but I don't think we cover enough the things that God 12:31 says do this and it will a help you think better. 12:34 So Nyse, what you think about what he is saying about 12:37 his recovery and what he has learned about health? 12:40 Well, I think it's powerful and matter of fact, 12:43 you have taken the program that we use when we are 12:46 working with individuals recovering from different 12:48 situations and have actually applied it. 12:50 The first step in everything, because we can't look at 12:53 health, but if it was just about eating apples and 12:55 grapes, one of us can be healthy and free from problems. 12:59 But the first step that you mention was that time, 13:01 where you sat down and said, Lord I have a situation here. 13:04 And I need your help, you got on your knees and 13:06 looked at the Sunset. 13:07 So the first key in all of this is asking God for help. 13:11 Once such you got that help, which is the Spiritual 13:14 foundation as we know it as the foundation of all that, 13:17 then you went ahead and started to ascertain some of 13:20 the other problems. 13:21 Our goal in our teaching is first identify the 13:24 root cause of the problem. 13:25 What is the true characteristic of the problem than 13:28 to work intelligently to eliminate that. 13:30 So you worked intelligently by getting who, 13:32 God to give you a hand with that. 13:34 And I think that was the key because as we read over 13:37 and over it is a waste of time to teach people to look 13:40 to God as a healer of their infirmities, unless they are 13:43 taught also to lay aside what? unhealthful practices. 13:46 What did you lay aside, you laid aside the TV-That's huge! 13:50 Oh my goodness is like one of the hugest things ever 13:52 just infiltrate your mind with just so many different things. 13:56 You laid aside your music, and one of the key items, 13:58 because when we look at health. 14:00 When you think of health, what is the first thing you think of? 14:02 When somebody says are your healthy when you think of? 14:06 Am I walking and am I drinking, that's a part of it, 14:09 but spiritual part. 14:10 But the second part of health is the physical part. 14:13 What did you lay aside, you laid aside some of the items, 14:16 power drinks and whatever like that. 14:18 There are many people who are not dealing with 14:20 addictions, but man, they are addicted to sugar, they're 14:23 addicted to caffeine, they are addicted to Coke and all 14:26 these things and you hit it right on the head. 14:27 Oh man this is so beautiful I wish I could just record 14:28 that, and I'm going to take a copy. 14:30 What happens is, it sets you on a mental high that all 14:34 your body now is doing is craving to fulfill that. 14:37 Before in our earlier programs we talked about 14:41 even something like spices, spices are a fiery food is a 14:44 stimulant that gets you on a high and sooner or later 14:48 you desire another stimulant which leads now to 14:52 alcoholism or maybe drugs. 14:54 What society has done unfortunately, I guess they 14:57 are trying to do what they can, 14:58 as you said they are moving you off 15:00 the free drugs, cocaine or the heroine, or stuff and 15:04 they put you on controlled substances. 15:07 The different drugs that they use. 15:10 Have they solved the problem - absolutely not - no you said 15:14 that a 100 times it was not solving my problems. 15:16 All the doctors did everything in the world and didn't 15:19 solve it, because they haven't identified the true 15:21 character of the cause. 15:23 You identified it and said Lord, 15:24 I need a relationship with you. 15:25 After you realize that that doesn't work now do you went 15:29 ahead took some steps. 15:30 What I'm hearing over and over throughout these sessions 15:33 that you guys have been having, is one of the main 15:36 things that you found helpful was a routine. 15:39 What did you say, every morning, before you put on that 15:42 TV as a matter of fact don't even put on the TV and 15:46 unless you're putting it into Celebrating Life and Recovery. 15:48 3ABN, or even before you do that. 15:52 What was it that you mentioned that they should do? 15:54 As the Lord for help in their life. 15:56 As the Lord for help after you've done that how is the 15:59 Lord going to help you, through His Word. 16:01 He is going to show you what you should do. 16:02 Another very important thing, this is before we start 16:05 eating our apples and grapes, you said get out and go 16:09 for a walk in nature. 16:11 That fresh air helps with the circulation and you know 16:15 what guys save your money. 16:16 Do not waste your money on gym memberships. 16:19 Save that 4 or 500 hundred dollars, take that support in 16:22 3ABN or Celebrating Life and Recovery, or use that money 16:26 to buy some good healthy fruits and veggies. 16:28 But get outside, there is something about nature. 16:31 What I have been hearing and what we read over and over 16:33 it says, nature testifies of the love of Christ. 16:37 So we start experiencing that not once a week basis, 16:40 not twice a week. 16:42 As a matter of fact, when you take a medication or when 16:44 the doctor tells you to take medication, how many times 16:46 a day are you taking the medication? 16:47 Once a week or twice a week? 16:48 No, you took it everyday - every day - 2, 3 times. 16:50 So 3 times - and before you went to bed. 16:52 Oh my God, you hit this on the head. 16:54 How may times do we need to be outside? 16:56 3 or 4 times a day - 3 or 4 times a day. 16:59 Not once or twice a week, but everyday. 17:02 And we will be blessed by it, literally we will bring 17:05 blessings into our lives. 17:06 That is powerful, and you've done that. 17:08 Now you are here you are witnessing to us. 17:10 So, I think that's powerful, you even set on the item of 17:14 water pulled off the colas and stuff like that. 17:19 And how did that help you personally, what did you see? 17:23 It kept me stable all throughout the day. 17:25 You know, you eat a good breakfast in the morning, 17:28 and you just feel good, you've got steady energy 17:31 all throughout the morning. 17:32 I'm not talking about Twinkies and a 17:34 cup of coffee for breakfast. 17:35 I'm talking about nuts and whole grains, where you have 17:37 steady energy all day long. 17:39 You're not one up and down and having this roller coaster. 17:41 And by lunch, you are starting to get a little tired, 17:43 hungry so you have a good lunch. 17:45 Then you're good to go all the way through supper. 17:48 It's a real blessing and talking about nature, dude I 17:50 want to tell you something, I had about 2 years in 17:52 recovery, and we were down in Florida. 17:54 I love butterflies, and I can't see real good so I am 17:57 through this orange orchard, I'm trying to follow 17:59 this butterfly and I come upon this orange tree. 18:02 Do you know what I saw? I saw baby orange. 18:05 I mean, it freaked me out, I mean a little tiny orange. 18:08 That wasn't a bloom it was a little baby orange and it 18:10 had just the lines, I had no idea. 18:14 It blew me away and God has created so many things like 18:16 that, and we just take it for granted. 18:18 We think Wal-Mart produces that stuff. 18:21 And it was no spectacular show of events. 18:24 It was something as simple as that that touched your heart. 18:26 You know what I mean, it's the something with mine, I see, 18:28 people would say stupid, but I see like wow did you see that? 18:33 How a cloud goes like this and they say, are you okay? 18:36 I'm like I'm fine, but you hit on it, those little 18:39 simple things that bring peace of mind, clarity in 18:42 spirit and a key item that you have mentioned. 18:45 When we read over and over it says, in order to 18:49 receive God's blessings in answer to that prayer that you 18:52 just made, because that prayer could have went up 18:54 and came right back down. 18:55 It says we must cease to do evil and avoid the self 18:59 gratifying habits, then we can see the answer to our prayer 19:04 And that's only by God's grace. 19:05 What I was going to say to is that real interesting is 19:09 that a woman writer that is amazing, but she said, 19:12 "out in nature Angels will minister and teach us. " 19:16 And I've always have that kind of vision now 19:19 when I go out is that right now I'm being taught 19:22 by the things around me. 19:23 And God will use birds, rainbows, and sunsets and 19:28 all of a sudden you're just thinking wow. 19:30 And I don't care who on the planet tells you that really 19:33 wasn't from God to you you're like, oh right. 19:35 It couldn't have been for anyone else. 19:37 I think God does that just to tell us that I so know where 19:41 you are at, I so know what you're prayer was, and I so 19:44 know every step you're making, I know when it's hard 19:47 and I know it is easy. 19:48 I know when you're full of joy, and I know when you are 19:51 afraid, but I am God and am with you during all that. 19:54 It I never dreamed that God could take a tragedy of a 19:57 young man being in prison for years and turn it around 20:00 to use it for His honor and glory. 20:01 I just never knew how that could be but God is in the 20:04 business of taking our terrible mistakes, that sin has 20:06 caused in our lives and turn around and using it 20:09 for His honor and glory. 20:10 I had about 5 years clean and met my friend who had 20:13 been in prison for 25 years. 20:15 He was out, now, I stopped by his house, hadn't seen 20:17 him, He said come on man jump in. 20:19 I jumped in his fancy car, music a going, he's going down 20:22 to shoot pool, I hadn't seen him in years. 20:25 He stood up for me in prison. 20:26 I would rent Lincoln Continental and take his mama down 20:28 to the prison and do all kinds of things. 20:29 Jumped in his car, I was hungry and I was tired. 20:33 And we went down to the pool hall and listen to that 20:37 awful music going down there. 20:38 I did want to tell them to shut the music off. 20:39 I had just talked,- didn't want to offend him. 20:40 We get down of the pool hall and I'm looking around. 20:43 I'm starving and the only thing I can see was corn chips. 20:46 I ate two bags of corn chips for my supper. 20:48 And I sat there and the drugs went around 20:51 through out that evening. 20:52 Here man, whatever you want take it, it's yours. 20:54 I said no man, I don't want it. 20:56 He said you really did change didn't do? 20:58 I said a man I don't want it no more. 21:00 On the way home I stopped at a garage sale and picked 21:04 up 3 videos that I didn't know what they were, 21:07 and at home, I had a video player, and I stuck 21:10 one of them in. 21:11 One was all about drugs, all about gangsters, 21:13 all about the Mafia. 21:14 And I watched that and do you know within a matter of 21:18 probably 36 hours my mind was thinking he has 21:22 all the drugs that I want. 21:23 I could just go get 4, 5 ounces of cocaine. 21:26 I can hold up for a couple of days, and nobody would know. 21:30 And I had made a decision to go and get high. 21:33 I had five years clean, and I was willing to give it up 21:37 because nobody would know. 21:38 I want you to know that I went down to Tennessee and 21:42 heard this doctor speak on the mind and how the mind 21:45 can be re-mapped. 21:47 It says is pliable like plastic, I didn't understand it 21:50 but already decided I was going to use cocaine. 21:52 And I went to him after the meeting and said, 21:54 tell me what you meant. 21:55 The lady that had spoke on it she was busy. 21:57 I talked her husband I said, what did she mean? 22:00 He says in the mind, we have deep ruts in the mind. 22:02 The electrical current travels the least path of resistance. 22:06 So we have ingrained tendencies in our lives, but when 22:09 you make a decision for right, there is an electrical 22:13 burst of electrical current that will jump that deep 22:16 rooted cocaine, alcohol, sexual addiction, whatever it is. 22:19 That extra burst of electrical current will jump that 22:23 pathway and as we choose to make the right choice by 22:27 God's grace, there will form new pathways in the mind. 22:30 And he gave me one Bible verse. 22:32 It was Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through 22:36 Christ Jesus which strength to me. " 22:37 I just couldn't believe it, I just couldn't believe it. 22:39 I said what was that verse again, 22:41 and I had tears in my eyes. 22:43 I went out to the van I was sleeping in that night and 22:46 looked up that Bible verse. 22:47 I cried, because I had made a decision that 22:50 I didn't want to use that cocaine. 22:52 I had already decided I was going back to it as soon 22:54 as I got home I was going to go get it. 22:55 And because of that, I said dear Jesus, please help me again 23:00 My original prayer to Jesus Christ's when I got down 23:02 on my knees in the hospital room was dear Jesus please 23:05 help me I want to quit but I can't. 23:07 It wasn't just drugs, it wasn't a alcoholism, it wasn't 23:10 sexism, it was a problem in my life called sin that I 23:14 had from a little child. 23:15 Let me tell you where does sin start in a little child's life? 23:18 Does it start with a 13 years old automatically 23:20 you begin facing sin. 23:22 If you take a great big candy bar and you take a little 23:24 candy bar at call little Johnny up here. 23:26 Say Johnny come up here and get you one of these 23:28 candy bars, a which one is Johnny going to take? 23:30 The big one! - the big one. 23:33 Why is that? - because it's a big one - the big one. 23:35 And that was the problem in my life. 23:37 Maybe it is a problem in your life too, that all through 23:39 your life you want the big one. 23:41 You want the best, you want the fanciest, you want 23:42 to be somebody special, and so it started my 23:45 life as a little child. 23:46 My mother didn't have to teach me how to lie, steal or 23:48 cheat, she taught me the exact opposite. 23:50 I had good moral principles, by the time 23:52 I was in first grade. 23:53 By the time was in second grade, I was dealing 23:55 with sexual issues, I was stealing stuff all summer long. 23:58 I wouldn't take books to school, I took stuff to school 24:00 to sell it at recess time. 24:01 And the glory of it, you know what God is now using 24:04 those talents that were once used for wrong, now for His 24:07 honor and glory because now I have the opportunity to be 24:09 out hustling snacks, cookies and chips. 24:11 And you take them into prisons for prisoners to give 24:14 your testimony now- I do. 24:16 Because you want them to know that they can change. 24:19 I want them to know without a shadow of a doubt, if my 24:22 life can be different today. I know that my partners 24:25 and friends in an out of prisons, around the world. 24:28 I don't care what country you're in that God is working 24:31 for us in this year which we live. 24:33 So I just want to tell them I wish them God's blessings. 24:36 There is hope, and I know if they'll just ask. 24:39 I don't care what creed, what denomination, I don't care 24:42 what you believe in. 24:43 But apparently it hasn't worked in your life up until 24:46 now, or you be satisfied, happy, and joyful. 24:49 I tell you that is what has worked in my life and in 24:52 these brothers and sisters lives here. 24:53 That I promise you out there that He will do it for you 24:58 too, is that not right? does that not make sense? 24:59 That is so right, you know, when I look at you, the only 25:02 thing I see is a passionate man of God that says, you 25:06 know what I couldn't believe. 25:07 I didn't have any faith in myself, that I would ever get 25:09 through this, and God just stepped in and said I 25:12 will re-map your brain. 25:14 I will help you - isn't that what comes - you even at 25:17 one point through your recovery had drugs stashed in 25:19 different parts of the house, because just in case. 25:22 Yeah, I wasn't able to throw them away for 3 years. 25:25 Pillow case, garbage yeah, pornographic stuff, you know, 25:29 and I wanted to throw them away. 25:30 I felt this wasn't right, you can't live life in 25:33 recovery, and still be having a dirty, dirty rooms. 25:36 In our life and our mind. 25:38 Because there's a sense in us that we know we are planted. 25:42 I think that God says that there will be a point in your 25:45 life that you get honest about this recovery. 25:48 That you don't watch for entertainment, the very things 25:50 that are trashing you. 25:51 That you really take care of what you are putting 25:53 your body, really make choices and follow through, 25:55 that you discipline yourself. 25:57 And God says there's going to be a point when you get to 25:59 that point, and at that point you're throwing things away. 26:01 Amen, and it is by His grace, because I don't see 26:04 anything wrong with them. 26:05 And it doesn't happen in our lives Cheri - and you even 26:08 told me when you even started to throw it away, that as 26:11 you were taking the trash out, you are like, 26:12 oh I don't want to throw this away. 26:14 Yep Yep, and actually I couldn't, the first day I 26:16 couldn't. I said, no it's not that bad. 26:17 Next day I had devotion and said Lord please help me. 26:20 I had to ask the Lord to help me all the way through 26:22 throwing all the stuff away. 26:23 Lord please help me out one, then it was possible. 26:26 We don't realize our needs until we hit rock bottom. 26:28 We think that we can hang onto, if you nuts and bolts 26:31 and a few cookies and candies and things in life. 26:34 A few gold trinkets, it ain't going to happen. 26:36 We are going to have to realize we need total dependence 26:38 on Him, and each and every day He will help us. 26:40 It doesn't start that we get all cleaned up and get rid 26:43 of our baggage, we don't get all fixed up and put on our 26:45 makeup and say, okay Lord am ready to serve You now. 26:47 We come to Him just as we are. 26:49 I met a dude in California, and I told him I said look 26:51 man, be sure you thank God, I had done a favor for him 26:54 out there, and he was walking away and I said, be sure 26:56 to thank God for that tonight. 26:57 He said, oh man, you don't understand, I can't thank God 27:00 I can't talk to Him until I get all cleaned up. 27:02 I jumped down off of what I was doing and I went, said 27:04 no, buddy, lets talk man please let's talk. 27:06 I said we come to Him just as we are. 27:08 I don't care what monkey desires are going on in your 27:11 life, you come to Him just as you are, and He's the One 27:15 that begins to clean us up. 27:16 From the outside? From the inside. 27:18 It's from the inside out. 27:19 So I'm going to ask you, because some of the stuff you 27:21 have to come to God with is pretty ugly stuff. 27:24 We talk about our deeper sexual sins and those kind of things, 27:27 and you're saying, come with that? 27:29 Come - don't be afraid of that either - come just as you are. 27:32 I mean those things, He doesn't shame you for any of that. 27:35 - NO! He doesn't shame us, He forgives us. 27:37 The desires change in our mind, they change to where that's 27:41 no longer what I want in my mind. 27:43 Our very desires are very thoughts change - yeah! 27:45 The passions that once used to be there to fulfill the 27:49 sexual desires and lifestyle, it changes and now you 27:52 want help somebody else. 27:53 I want to help my friends. 27:54 I'm looking to get apples and oranges to take it to 27:56 the prison and let them know that I love them and 27:58 they are not forgotten. 27:59 It's different because now we are in service for Him 28:02 not self, self has to die. 28:04 Paul says I have to die daily, and for us today, we need to too 28:08 I usually break right now, and then 28:10 comeback for the close. 28:11 And I want to break right now, do the same as normally, 28:14 but would you come back to the close with me? 28:16 I want to break, but please hear this. 28:19 If you're stuck with anything, some people are stuck 28:23 and they look so much better than somebody, 28:25 coming out of prison. 28:26 But if you are stuck with anything, know that God just 28:28 says nothing, nothing you have in your pockets. 28:31 Nothing you have in your closets, nothing you have is 28:34 going to turn God away from you. 28:36 And He says I promise you, if you honestly step forward, 28:39 you don't even have to know what that means but if you 28:41 honestly just ask Me. 28:43 I am with you for the rest of your life. 28:45 I am with you and I'll fulfill in you in all the things that 28:49 need to changed. 28:50 I will fulfill in you everything that needs to happen in 28:52 order for your recovery and you will be blessed. 28:54 So we will be right back! Stay tuned! |
Revised 2014-12-17