Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Luke Pierson, Mark Pierson
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00043B
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00:14 Hello we ended up breaking at the end of the last segment
00:17 with Amanda going back to her seat, but she turned 00:19 around and said something that I thought was so profound 00:22 that I wanted you to come back and share it with us. 00:26 You were talking about what it was like to watch this 00:29 family process their stuff. 00:31 Go ahead and share that with us. 00:32 They really showed me that they really depended on God 00:36 through the whole thing. 00:38 Usually when I think, you know when you lose that many 00:42 people in one day you are just so crushed, and I would 00:47 think that there could be suicide attempts and things 00:51 like that, because it is really hard to go through that. 00:55 I was really shocked by it because they really leaned on 00:59 each other and they were constantly praying 01:01 with each other. 01:02 They come together and worshiped God, and they really 01:07 were leaning on God as well as each other. 01:10 So wasn't just some that they said they believed this 01:12 they lived this - yeah they lived it. 01:13 And you saw this and it was different than what you saw 01:16 in your own family, and that must've been so healing for 01:18 you just watching it - yeah. 01:20 Man, thank you for sharing that with us I think that's 01:23 huge, because I think a lot of times people will say one 01:26 thing but a tragedy hits and we really find out who we are. 01:29 If you are not really believing this, it will take you 01:34 down, but what this family they believed, they believed it. 01:37 Thank you for sharing that I'm going to bring Monica up. 01:40 Monica, you're listening to, you heard everybody 01:44 and their take on it, you weren't there. 01:46 So where were you when you heard, this was your sister? 01:49 Correct and my niece, we were at home and got call from 01:53 my nephew Mark, which is Luke's older brother. 01:55 Saying he is in Michigan, and there has been a bad car 01:59 accident and we don't know what's going on pray. 02:02 So we got in a circle, we had some of our teens there. 02:05 Beau, Wyatt and my children and we got in a circle and prayed. 02:09 My husband said you're going down to Modesto for a trip. 02:12 Just go and do it, I'm sure they are fine. 02:14 And when we got into cell range, well, actually before cell range 02:18 It was about a forty minute drive. 02:21 I heard God said to me they're not going to make it. 02:25 And I said God just don't let them suffer. 02:27 The wonderful thing about the accident is, Cathy's neck 02:31 was broken, so she died immediately. 02:33 So did Candace and Katrina, we feel too... 02:37 So no one really suffered! 02:39 And that was really important to me, I don't know why. 02:41 It was so important that God just decide to tell you before 02:45 you got the final call, when you got back into cell range. 02:48 Right, I got into cell range and my husband called. 02:50 I was really close to where Cathy and Mark lived in 02:53 Waterford, California, and he said they didn't make it. 02:56 Amanda did, so I pulled over, actually at their home 03:00 some of the teens that we were working with had to 03:04 see me just cry. 03:06 I don't feel like we lost it, I called Markie, Markie's 03:10 26 and we just cried together. 03:13 Right, of course - we just cried - right. 03:17 The wonderful thing about all this is that Luke actually 03:21 forgiving the man, gave us permission to handle this 03:26 better than we would have. 03:27 Because your first inclination is not to forgive - who's 03:33 to blame for this? - right. 03:35 Exactly - I mean, who's, who can I be upset with or whatever 03:39 and with Luke forgiving the man, and realizing 03:42 it was just an accident. 03:44 We had to process in our minds, if God is in control 03:49 than God could have stopped it. 03:51 And to my mind immediately came words from the Desire of Ages 03:56 that say that if I knew the end from the beginning, 03:59 I would do this exactly the same way. 04:01 I mean, within hours of the accident, so I said okay, 04:05 this was a perfect day for Cathy and Candace to die, and Katrina. 04:09 And that sounds hard to say, but it actually gave me 04:13 peace - right - because it was perfect. 04:16 When Mark flew in, tell us about that. 04:19 Wonderful men from his men's group 04:22 met him from Turlock church. 04:24 The boys were all there, Amanda was there and they had a 04:29 big prayer there in a big hug at the airport. 04:31 Mark made the comment Satan chose to destroy our family, 04:36 but he messed with the wrong family. 04:38 And that just empowered us - everyone - yes, everyone 04:42 my parents, my sister's, my other sisters, 04:45 all of us felt empowered. 04:46 They met us at our house, our family gathered, our 04:51 extended family, - your church family - yeah and our 04:55 pastor and his wife, everybody came. 04:57 Then they told us the story, and we grieved together. 05:02 If got to say for a lot of people, what they're thinking 05:07 is if this family ever grieve, absolutely. 05:09 So you didn't miss those steps actually you didn't do 05:12 whatever but you just said that during that time we were 05:15 so settled and assured of God's love and His presence 05:17 with us that we clung to each other. 05:21 Yes, in fact music was one of our family is a singing family. 05:25 My sister was going out to sing a song with Mark when 05:30 they got to Michigan, and it was a song Markie, We Don't 05:35 Know Which Way the Wind Blows, by the second chapter of Acts. 05:37 All of us has sung that since we were young, we played 05:41 that song and all of us cried - what were some of the 05:44 words you sang. 05:45 Um, we don't know which way the wind blows, so how can 05:49 we plan tomorrow? 05:51 We don't know the way the wind blows, 05:53 so give Jesus your tomorrows. 05:57 Right - and we just all, extended family, my kids, guitar 06:00 teacher, he's like, how can you guys be dealing with this? 06:04 Not a Christian comes over, just so we can all 06:06 grieve and cry together. 06:08 It was the most profound day of my life, because I 06:11 realize that no matter what Satan put up against us, 06:15 we were in this together. 06:17 You know you love your friends, but your family 06:20 - is your family - yeah. 06:22 It doesn't matter how dysfunctional they are, 06:25 how maybe you don't all get along way in you're in a room, 06:28 but when things like that happen God knits you all together. 06:30 And what is really interesting to me is that people that 06:33 were around you and loved you, you were ministering to, 06:36 watched almost in awe as you lived out 06:40 what you are teaching them. 06:41 Not that you met them, so we're going to do this so that they 06:45 got the right message, you lived it out because this is 06:48 what God had led you during that time of grief. 06:50 Because, again I go back to each one of us, was having 06:55 our own individual walk. 06:56 So when this happened, we all had like scriptures that 06:59 we clung to and definitely the word of God was totally 07:03 our shield in this attack. - Amen! 07:04 You know I'm going to ask a couple questions and then I 07:09 want to bring up a couple more people just for us to meet. 07:15 But your relationship with God radically changed at this 07:20 time - oh yeah! 07:22 Oh yeah, because all ties were cut to this world. 07:25 When Cathy, Candace and Katrina, actually, we realized 07:29 they were all firstborn women. 07:30 Our firstborn, women, Cathy was the oldest sister. 07:34 Candace was the oldest of her family, 07:36 and Katrina would be the oldest, and we realized that they 07:40 were all God's, God always has a special place for firstborns. 07:43 And so we realized that this was okay, and we 07:49 were going to do this, and if God was in control, we were 07:53 going to go with this. 07:54 With our ties to this world, this world didn't matter anymore 07:57 The don't care about my car, and I don't care about my house, 08:00 I just miss my sister, - right - and my niece. 08:03 And so - and your going to see them again - right! 08:06 So, we have got to hurry this return of God, what can we do 08:10 to change this point 9 billion people who don't know about God. 08:14 I thought, like we were close to everybody knowing, and 08:17 then I find out, part of it was from David Asscherick, 08:19 something that I heard from him, that there were more 08:22 people that didn't know. 08:23 So we're like Heh, it's like no bars hold, we're going out. 08:28 Right, and when you say that, what's really interesting 08:33 to me with everybody Mark, Luke, with all of you guys is 08:37 that when you say that you literally went out. 08:41 Left this country went to minister in another country, 08:44 not saying that you left the kids that you were working with, 08:46 because they went with you - yeah. 08:48 We went to Ghana - actually Mark planned all that and 08:52 AHI-Adventist Health International asked us to go to 08:56 Ethiopia in October. 08:57 We are going for a year to Gimbi and we are really excited 09:01 about doing some Vacation Bible schools over there. 09:03 I watched you loving on these kids in another country, 09:06 in Ghana - and I watch the kids just full of joy, 09:10 learning some songs, singing with you, dancing. 09:13 You know, it was just what did that feel like, because 09:16 literally what the Devil meant for a tragedy changed everything 09:23 It did, he really did mess with the wrong family. 09:26 And I feel really bad for him actually right now, 09:29 because we are just so on fire. 09:31 We realize the unity that we need to pull together, 09:34 we are now a team. 09:35 There is about 10 of us, but were adding other people 09:38 14, 15 maybe by the time we get to Ethiopia. 09:40 We have prayers just for our group, we call ourselves 09:44 Here For Them! 09:45 We have a website HereforThem. com 09:47 and we just want to actually be the catalyst to encourage 09:52 other teens to find out what is real. 09:54 Because teenagers nowadays they don't want to know about 09:58 religion, they know enough about religion they want, is 10:02 it real or not? 10:03 Is it really going to happen, is God something you're 10:05 really going to hold on to, or are you just going to go 10:09 - and is this relational, and is this something that 10:12 will hold you through even something like this. 10:14 I want to talk with Stevie, and thank you for sharing, man. 10:21 Stevie, come on up I want to just ask you a couple of 10:24 things because I'm looking at all these different folks 10:27 that have been through this accident. 10:30 You literally are coming, did you come 10:33 onto the scene after this? 10:34 I've kind of always been around - right - more or less 10:39 I have been around. 10:40 I wasn't there when they heard about the accident, but I 10:42 came the next week end - right. 10:44 And they were pretty emotional about it and I was there, 10:47 like after that point. 10:48 What you do think about the way they were, the way 10:50 they handled themselves in kind of huddled together? 10:53 They really helped me in my life, because I saw that 10:55 they as a family they could pull together. 10:57 Actually it was really amazing to see and I think they 11:01 helped a lot more people by showing that 11:03 they could be strong. 11:04 Because you are in the youth group, right? 11:06 They love on you, whether you want it or not, right, 11:08 isn't it true - yeah. 11:10 Whether you wanted or not, you have been accepted by 11:13 this group that said, you know what, what ever. 11:15 We love you and we know you have stuff, but come join us. 11:20 Tell me a little bit about them that I don't know yet. 11:26 Nice - um - and be nice. 11:30 Do you go to church with them - yeah. 11:31 I go to church with them, I hang out with them a lot, I go 11:35 to their youth group, there's really not much to tell 11:38 what you see is what you get. 11:39 Like they do have family problems but they are still 11:42 happy - do they deal with them - yeah they deal with 11:44 them and they're generally happy about it afterwards. 11:47 How cool is that - it's actually really cool because my 11:50 family is really loud and they are just like oh no, it's okay. 11:53 I really do like you right now but it's going to go. 11:56 It's actually real nice it's comforting to see that 11:58 families can function normally - normal families that's fun. 12:03 Thank you for coming up. 12:04 I would like to bring Stephanie up, Stephanie I know 12:08 that I know you and you have dealt with loss in your life. 12:12 With your mom and her cancer, and now you are literally 12:15 adopted into this family and they are struggling with 12:19 that, so is that with you, because you weren't 12:21 at the accident? 12:22 But you are in this family. 12:24 Yes for me I guess I say when my mom died I was actually 12:32 more moved into the Barlow's, I was living with them so I 12:35 was at their house when she died. 12:37 So I didn't get to see her after she was dead, and I 12:42 wanted to do that, but my grandmother she was like well 12:46 I saw my husband when he died and I didn't like it. 12:50 So she didn't want me to see them. 12:51 So you had no closure with your mom - no I didn't. 12:54 I sort of did in some ways because my mom kept on saying 13:00 you need to talk to her and so I did. 13:03 She had me say, because she was just hanging on, she was 13:07 there, but she could no longer respond, she could no 13:11 longer do anything. 13:12 So I said to my mom, I don't know she heard me or not, 13:17 but I said you can let go, it's okay, I'll be okay. 13:22 That was really hard - oh man - it's hard to hear it 13:27 when you said now - yeah. 13:28 I cried I have hard time saying it, but I knew if I 13:34 said it that maybe - she could rest - she could rest, yeah! 13:38 Because she was struggling so much with the cancer - she was. 13:41 But for me what helped a lot from this accident 13:45 is that I got to see Cathy and Candice's bodies. 13:50 I've got to have closure with them and it helped me a 13:54 lot because, I never saw a dead body. 13:57 I never seen it before. 13:58 I've known Cathy and Candace when they were alive, they 14:03 were up for Thanksgiving and stuff so we - so they're 14:09 part of your family - they were part of the family - yeah! 14:11 I was coming into their family and I was trying to 14:14 get to know everyone. 14:15 So when I got to see them it really made me, I was 14:20 afraid at first, but then when I saw them I was relieved. 14:25 I was afraid that all my goodness see in them dead I 14:29 might not be so for afraid, but I was like 14:31 that's not really them anymore. 14:33 They are resting - they are resting and then 14:36 I cried a lot because I felt 14:39 better because since I didn't see my mom, that helped me. 14:44 And you know what I get a sense of what happened in this 14:48 house, is they cried freely too, and it was okay. 14:52 And so giving you permission, of course cry - it's okay! 14:57 I felt really alone when my mom died, because my 15:00 parents, my new parents now, my new family they knew her 15:05 but not very well. 15:07 So I felt very alone because I was the only one grieving. 15:10 It felt, to me, like I was the only one, it felt silly to cry 15:15 because I was the only one. 15:17 It felt really good, it helped me when that was able to 15:22 cry with other people - and have everybody surrounding each 15:26 other - and everyone - comforting each other - exactly. 15:31 How incredible and you know to me I just want, I want to 15:34 keep thanking them for how much they are loving on you. 15:38 But I also want to thank you for loving on them. 15:41 You know what I mean because it's just both ways. 15:43 I want to bring Mark back up and I want to thank you for 15:47 sharing with us on this. 15:49 Mark I want you to come back up because I want to ask 15:53 something that I know that people probably think about, 15:56 and I used to think about this until I talked with 16:00 different friends who have gone through horrible experiences 16:03 where they have lost someone they loved. 16:04 Is it difficult for you to talk about this, is it hard 16:09 for you to bring it up? 16:10 No, there is relief from talking about it because of my 16:15 wife and daughter in law, because it helps that people 16:20 haven't forgotten them. 16:22 That's what I don't like is when people don't talk about 16:25 it to me - yeah when they're afraid to say what's up 16:27 and that reminds me of the accident, we were 16:30 passing by the same place. 16:31 If people are afraid to talk about it then there is a 16:34 fear about forgetting. 16:35 Yeah people want to avoid the obvious thing that needs 16:39 to be said about missing Cathy, or something, when they 16:42 see picture something, when people ignore it. 16:44 It is not healthy to ignore the past, sure we miss them 16:49 I cried twice a day for at least six months every 16:52 morning because I loved her and missed her even though I 16:55 know that Jesus is going to raise her back to life soon. 16:59 The reason people cry is because you love the person, 17:03 that's a good reason to cry, because you miss them. 17:06 It is not something to be ashamed of, even as a Christian. 17:10 There is a couple things you wanted to share with us, 17:12 what are they? 17:15 Well I was praying one morning about two weeks after Cathy 17:19 died, I was kneeling by the bed and I don't remember 17:22 what I was saying but all of a sudden it came to me that 17:25 I loved Cathy more than Jesus. 17:28 I had been raised an Adventist I really knew Jesus 17:32 righteousness by faith and understood that at 21. 17:37 Somehow it got to the place where I loved Cathy more and 17:42 didn't put Jesus in His first-place, actually I love 17:47 myself first and then Cathy. 17:49 And then Jesus to be honest, but now after spending a 17:56 I lived a year by myself after Cathy died. 18:00 That was the best thing that could have happened to me, 18:02 I was dreading going to be living alone. 18:04 Because you thought how am I going to feel, 18:06 because I'm so used to having Cathy around. 18:08 God said you know what, you and I are hanging out. 18:12 That was good to be by myself because I started every 18:16 morning with Jesus and ended every morning with Jesus. 18:19 Nobody interrupted me, now I can do what I want to do. 18:23 That may sound selfish, but that was how it worked out. 18:26 You know we wives know we interrupt you - we know that. 18:30 Sometimes yeah that's been known to happen. 18:32 So what I was dreading was the best thing for me. 18:36 I needed to spend more time with Jesus, even though 18:41 I was an elder in the church. 18:42 Jesus is first in my life, I love Him more than anything else 18:47 I am not afraid of dying because everything 18:52 is in God's timing I know. 18:53 So now everything is kind of shifted to their 18:55 rightful places - yes. 18:57 Wow - and I'm, but Holy Spirit is finally being allowed 19:01 to do what He can do - Amen. 19:03 God is so good I just want to say again that I love Him 19:10 and He loves me. 19:11 So you have put together even these trips were they have 19:16 gone overseas to minister to kids in other countries, 19:19 what brought that up because it wasn't something you 19:23 were doing before the accident. 19:24 No, in 2004, Cathy and I went with Share Him, used to be 19:30 Global Evangelism and they change names. 19:32 Where to get us volunteers from this country to go preach 19:36 somewhere else, and after they get you there, the orientation 19:39 is really not to benefit these other countries, it's to 19:42 benefit you, so you learn to trust God more. 19:44 So did you preach - yeah, Cathy and I both preached. 19:47 The first time I ever preached is when I stood up over 19:49 there to preach. 19:50 And that preached 17 sermons - didn't scare you, were 19:53 you not scared - I was scared but I was praying and 19:56 when I stood up my fears went away - Amen! 20:00 I preach 16 or 17 sermons. 20:03 That's amazing - and that was such a good experience, 20:07 that was the closest time in Cathy and my relationship. 20:11 We did not have any irritations, you know a lot of time 20:15 somebody wrong inflexion in the voice they will 20:18 irritate you, but that didn't even happen the three 20:21 weeks we were in Ghana because we spent several hours a 20:23 day preparing for the sermons and praying. 20:27 When God is the center of our life it's great. 20:30 It really is a whole different thing - so once I 20:34 experienced that, I mean after the accident I wanted the 20:39 family to experience that. 20:40 So I arranged for my sons and Amanda and Monica and her 20:47 family to go to Ghana were Cathy and I preached. 20:50 To go back to the two churches because the most godly 20:53 man I ever met is Pastor Manuel Gaza in Ghana. 20:56 I wanted them to meet him because when we were with him 20:59 we prayed all the time. 21:00 With Pastor Gaza, I wanted people to meet him. 21:04 So it took the 9 of us plus one of Mark's friends, 21:08 Mark and Luke's friends from Michigan because I wanted 21:12 to change their lives like it had changed mine. 21:15 And from what I hear it did change their lives. 21:18 I saw some clips on your website, definitely on my space 21:23 page, that I looked at the joy in these kids life that 21:28 was just amazing. 21:29 You had prayer for that pastor's wife, his wife right, 21:33 that literally you saw healing. 21:35 Yes we went to visit him, Pastor Gaza and his wife at 21:40 his home because she had not been out of bed for 3 or 4 weeks 21:44 At least that she has Rheumatoid Arthritis, and we went 21:50 to their house to pray. 21:53 Monica suggested that we ought pray for her, and so we 21:57 got her out of her bedroom, she came out in the living 22:01 room and we prayed and then we left because we had a 22:05 meeting to go to at their church that night. 22:06 About halfway through the meeting she came walking in 22:11 the church - were you shocked? 22:14 Yeah she had walked almost a mile to the church and here 22:18 she hadn't been out of bed for 3 or 4 weeks 22:20 because of her arthritis. 22:21 I was told she got up and did a praise dance - yeah they 22:25 do a little dance and she did that too after her not 22:28 being out of bed. 22:29 And we just knew God was working because of trusting Him. 22:35 What I love is if we allow God, even during our most 22:41 difficult times, as He said, if you sit with Me, I 22:44 will walk you not only through this, but our 22:46 relationship gets stronger, but you will understand what 22:50 I mean by this is a controversy. 22:51 You are aliens here, this is not even your home. 22:55 When He comes we're going to be taken out of this world 22:59 and there will not be death, accidents, molested kids, 23:02 addicts and all that kind of stuff. 23:04 He says if you allow Me to be real to you here, that the 23:07 world will be different and for you guys it is different. 23:10 Yes we are at war, the Great Controversy Series is 23:16 called the Great Controversy. 23:17 We think hard times are bad for us, but they are 23:23 actually the best because that is when we turned to God 23:26 more and trust in Him. 23:27 So I came to the place that I was thankful that my wife 23:30 died first, and not me because she will not have to go 23:34 through grieving my death - she wouldn't be unprotected. 23:39 So we are at war here and we want to be fighting for 23:44 Jesus like Mrs. White speaks about the war 23:49 between good and evil. 23:50 And God is, in war there is casualties, because the 23:56 enemy isn't happy with what we're doing. 23:59 What is really interesting is that there was a place in 24:02 the Bible that I came to one time that was like don't 24:05 back away from trials too soon. 24:07 Don't run when something slams into you because this is 24:10 going to really develop a lot within you, not that God 24:13 planned it, not that I'm going to do this because she 24:16 needs to develop this. 24:17 It is like He just says you are in a war and so these 24:19 things are going to happen, but in Christ 24:22 I will carry you through. 24:24 I will all things work together for the good to those 24:27 that love God and we say that so easily, but it doesn't 24:30 feel easy when we are going through it. 24:32 You know what I mean, but it does turn out for good. 24:34 You do stand up cleaner for Christ after a tragedy like this 24:39 And my relationship had come to a place with Jesus that 24:42 it was growing, but He wasn't in the first place, but He 24:45 was preparing me and so I never got angry at God. 24:49 Why God that is a question that didn't come because He 24:52 was growing me and preparing me. 24:55 You really stood as a spiritual leader in this group 25:00 during this time. 25:02 I've been told that, I always feel I'm not worthy of 25:05 that but God uses the average person and so I will except that 25:09 I sense that every time I'm around I can sense that you 25:12 This is really the position that you stood up in. 25:15 I just want to say thank you for joining us. 25:19 Thank you everyone for coming. 25:21 We are going go ahead and take a break and come back in. 25:24 I would like to close with a statement from you Luke if I can 25:29 It's hard to say wrap this up because I don't think it's 25:34 wrapped up until Christ comes - right! 25:36 And Cathy walks back into your arms, do you know what I 25:39 mean that's the ultimate wrapping this up is that we are 25:41 reunited with those that we love, your sister, and Candace 25:45 and the baby Katrina. 25:47 That's the goal, you know what I mean that's the way God 25:51 says press on, I'm towards that mark don't forget what 25:55 you are doing here, don't move in here, you know what I 25:59 mean don't settle here because we're going home. 26:02 Well the person I want to see first at the resurrection 26:04 now is Jesus, not Cathy. 26:06 Where before it would have been the other way around, 26:08 but now I want to see Jesus first, yeah. 26:11 Isn't that cool, but He says I just want to heal your 26:15 heart and get those priorities right. 26:17 How incredible we're going to be right back. 26:20 Man - I just want to be real enough that I can walk 26:25 through this am bless somebody else's life. 26:27 Maybe I'll go on a mission trip with you guys. 26:29 Stay with us we'll be right back! |
Revised 2014-12-17