Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Siki Plang, Edwin M Cotto
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00062A
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00:10 Welcome to Celebrating Life in Recovery.
00:11 I'm Cheri your host. 00:13 It doesn't matter what your addictions are. 00:15 Where you are from, what you are strung out on. 00:18 You can step away from that. 00:20 Come in and find out how. 00:49 Okay the entire series is about 00:51 what happens when you finally 00:52 surrender, when you finally give 00:54 it to God, and you finally say, you know what? 00:56 I can't figure this out. 00:57 I can't figure any of that out. 00:59 I'm going to trust You and hang on to You. 01:01 That is the entire series. 01:02 What the Christian word for that is righteousness by faith. 01:06 Or justification by faith and so 01:07 I'm going to give it to God. 01:09 What I think is the coolest thing is that once we do that, 01:12 there is something that happens every single day. 01:15 Every single day God says, I'm going to pour into you 01:18 every single day, My righteousness so that you will 01:22 know what it feels like not to lie, not to steal, not to be 01:24 pulled away with the same kind of temptations that you 01:27 are always pulled away with. 01:29 That just gets us standing up. 01:30 Once we start standing up, when we start changing our 01:33 desires, it is so fun to see what opens up. 01:36 I am going to introduce you to a couple of people that 01:39 their whole life is different now. 01:41 What they are doing will just bless you. 01:42 So I'm going to introduce you right now, 01:44 so come up and join us. 01:46 Join me and we will meet with Edwin. 01:48 Edwin thanks for coming on the show. 01:50 You have an incredible ministry, but you also have come 01:54 from a pretty intense background. 01:57 So let us know first of all a little bit about the Ministry 02:00 and where you have come from. 02:02 Well we are a Ministry of a 02:04 couple of young people that have 02:06 a zeal to work. 02:07 We found out because of the places we grew up, 02:11 all the young people, nowadays, are involved in drugs, 02:14 getting in gangs and things like that. 02:17 We came out of that. 02:18 So we decided that now that we have come to Christ, 02:21 we wanted to reach out to a lot of those same people. 02:24 We felt that because we came from there we can be 02:27 successful in that. 02:28 Also I have heard you say, before, that there wasn't a lot 02:31 of people talking, you do not have a lot of people talking 02:34 to you and you had no knowledge. 02:36 It was like I did not know that I could step into 02:38 a different life. 02:39 Well the only little bit of knowledge I could say I had, 02:42 was my father. 02:44 The way I grew up, I grew up in a very confused home. 02:46 My dad did not live with us, he visited us on the weekends. 02:51 He would take me to church sometimes. 02:52 I really grew up with my mom, 02:55 and I grew up with my other mom. 02:58 Two women in my life. 03:00 Because of that it contributed to a lot of confusion in my life 03:04 So your mom was gay? 03:06 She was a lesbian yeah, she was gay. 03:08 She was gay and I had a very hard time dealing with that 03:11 because you have your friends telling you, speaking to you 03:14 about your dad, playing ball with your dad. 03:16 I did that sometimes with my father on the weekends, 03:19 but most of the time it was my mom and my mom. 03:22 That contributed a lot to the decisions I made 03:25 when I got older. 03:27 Where do I go now? What decisions do I make? 03:31 I didn't know because I grew up confused all my life. 03:35 Was there a point where you said, this is not like, 03:39 there is something different about our home? 03:41 It is not like what I am seeing from everybody else's house? 03:43 Was there a point where you were aware of that? 03:47 No, I couldn't get it because my mom and my aunt, 03:50 I called her my aunt because they slept in the same room. 03:52 I figured that was just my aunt. 03:55 She probably just need a place to stay and I really didn't 03:57 understand it. 03:59 They were great though, they raised me and gave me 04:01 everything I needed. 04:03 They spoiled me. 04:04 Do you love them? 04:05 Oh I love them and I cannot blame anything on them but 04:07 unfortunately to decisions they made and the life they lead 04:12 had a big effect on me. 04:13 It made me make those decisions I did when I got older. 04:16 So as you got older, what kind of decisions 04:19 are you talking about? 04:20 Well after my mom had cancer, and just before she passed 04:27 away I decided that, because I was so confused, I tried to 04:35 alieve my own pain dealing with a situation in my home 04:39 by trying things, I tried drugs, I tried gangs, and I 04:43 wanted to be the leader in my high school. 04:45 I loved it, I wanted people to follow me, people to do 04:49 what I did. 04:50 So whatever that was going to take 04:52 that was what I was going to do? 04:53 If it was going to fix my problem, which was what I felt, 04:56 I'm going to get that done, I'm going to do it. 04:59 I ended up joining one of the biggest gangs 05:03 in New York right now. 05:04 To the point where I did not have to fight my way in. 05:08 They called it blessed, they bless you in because I decided 05:13 before I had joined the gang that I didn't need a gang to be 05:17 tough in the streets. 05:18 I wanted my own way, people needed to follow me and that 05:22 was the way I was going to be what I thought I could 05:25 be when I was younger. 05:26 So you walked in with respect, so I walked in, you walked 05:29 in and they knew who you were? 05:31 It's not that they knew who I was, they knew what I did. 05:37 I did things I also robbed people and when they saw that, 05:42 they decided this is the man we need to hang out with 05:46 this man to be like him. 05:47 Which is what I wanted, I want them to be like me. 05:49 I liked that, I don't like that that happened 05:53 but I use that today, because I say well they wanted 05:56 to be like me when I was reflecting the 05:58 character of the Devil back then, but now that I have 06:01 Christ, I want them to not only see me, but see Christ 06:05 in me, and follow me now, the way am now. 06:07 But when you say that, what cracks me up, is I've seen you 06:11 work with young adults, at risk kids, and they do have 06:15 that sense that they do want to be like him. 06:18 You are not telling them anything anymore that is going 06:21 to hurt them, you are telling them to step into recovery. 06:24 Figure out who you are spiritually. 06:26 Figure out who God is. 06:27 I watch the effect that you had on the kids around you 06:29 so God is blessing your desire of wanting that. 06:33 Yeah, those kids were great, they are great. 06:37 They come from a lot of backgrounds that I came from. 06:39 They had a very confused home. 06:41 I love your talking, and they are like this. 06:43 You know it is not like a church group. 06:47 Do you know I mean? 06:48 Right! Right. 06:49 I love that, I wanted to get a camera out and just say 06:52 all of heaven must have tears in their eyes right now 06:55 watching these kids relate to you. 06:57 Watching them look at you and say, 06:59 do you really believe that? 07:01 It was so obvious that you believe that. 07:03 God was working in your life but you're not saying that yet. 07:08 You are in high school, you are being blessed into a gang, 07:13 and so how did you get from that to where 07:17 God is even in the picture? 07:20 Well my mom had to die. 07:23 You say that really easy, but her death was not easy? 07:29 I guess that is how far you can go sometimes, 07:34 when somebody has to literally pass away in your life 07:38 for you to actually wake up and look at the situation 07:42 you are in, the mess you are in. 07:43 Do you know what I mean? 07:44 Once she had gotten sick, I remember that day when I 07:48 stepped into my aunt's house. 07:50 She was crying and I didn't know why she was crying. 07:53 She told me she had just came from the doctors office 07:56 and she sat me down next to her and told me, 08:00 I have some bad news. 08:02 I said alright, what is the bad news? 08:05 As she kept trying to tell me, you know how you get 08:08 when you have bad news? 08:11 She couldn't say it. 08:13 She had told my cousin before she told me, my baby cousin. 08:16 As I tried to listen to her and she couldn't say it, 08:21 my cousin just jumped up and said, your mom has cancer. 08:26 That was the point in my life where I thought I was a bad 08:30 person and now it's going to be worse. 08:32 Because now I really had nothing left. 08:35 The only person in my life that made sense, despite her 08:38 decisions, despite the things that she did and went through, 08:41 it was all that made sense in my life. 08:44 That was the stability in your life? 08:46 That's all I had, that's all I had. 08:49 My mom, she had never been in the military or anything, 08:52 but she was strict, she made me the man I am today. 08:54 I believe that! 08:55 Now she is going and I have nothing left. 08:58 So now I decide to solve my, this new problem that 09:02 I have with more things. 09:04 So now I start doing more drugs. 09:06 I start getting involved with more the wrong people, 09:09 the wrong crowd. 09:10 I decided that instead of continuing in the gang that I 09:13 am in, I might as well start my own. 09:15 I tried to do that gained a lot of followers, which was 09:18 what I always wanted because I wanted to be the leader. 09:21 I want to be the leader and didn't want anybody leading me 09:24 except for my mother and she was passing away. 09:26 So it's my turn to step up and be the leader in my life. 09:30 But it was the wrong way. 09:31 But in your very heart it was a desperate thing that this 09:36 is the time to stand up? 09:38 This is the time to stand up but to stand up the way I 09:42 thought would be the best way to stand up. 09:44 Which was completely the wrong way. 09:46 So how does God jump into that? 09:47 It took a verse, it took one verse. 09:51 I do not know really how it came across but it was 09:54 Psalms 116:15 in that verse says, "precious in the sight 09:59 of the Lord is the death of his saints. " 10:02 I read that and I was like what? 10:05 What does this mean? 10:08 His saints precious, I didn't understand that? 10:11 Today I apply that in two ways. 10:14 My mom is not sinning any more, and she was the person 10:18 who just before she died with one tear going down 10:20 her cheek, but she gave her heart to Christ. 10:22 I'm thankful for that. 10:24 She doesn't sin anymore and is ready for the resurrection. 10:27 That is precious in the sight of the Lord. 10:30 I look at it a second way, to die spiritually. 10:32 That is what I had to do, I had to die spiritually. 10:36 I had to release everything that I had and say God 10:40 I cannot fix my problem with these drugs. 10:42 I can't fix my problems with these gangs. 10:44 What do I have left but You? 10:46 He had to take over in my life and I just knelt down 10:51 in the bathroom that day. 10:52 Somebody thinks it has to be this huge thing, 10:56 but kneel down where ever you get it. 10:58 Just kneel down, I was in the bathroom, looking at myself. 11:01 My face was red because I was just crying. 11:03 My mom is dying in the next room and the doctor said 11:05 it was too late for her. 11:06 She was dying in the next room and my family was trying 11:10 to visit her. 11:11 I have nothing left in I had that one verse stuck in my 11:13 head and I looked at myself in the mirror and said, 11:15 what do I do now? 11:17 I just knelt down, I knelt down and let it all out. 11:21 I let Him take over, I let Him take over. 11:25 Instead of me trying to take over my own life, 11:28 I let Him do it. 11:29 Even when you say that, because what you are saying 11:32 is that all my life I knew I had to be the leader. 11:34 I had to be the one in charge. 11:35 What you are saying is right then you knew that you had 11:39 to learn not to lead? 11:41 Yeah, because if I continued leading, I was going to 11:44 put myself more in a hole. 11:46 The hole I was in was big enough. 11:48 I was at a point where I have police taking pictures 11:51 of me in the corner, they thought I didn't see them. 11:54 But they were taking pictures of me. 11:56 I had a cop tell my wife, my wife now and 11:59 warn her about me. 12:01 I had people trying, 12:03 my high school at one time, 12:04 going after me to try and 12:06 beat me up. 12:07 I had to call people, it was terrible the hole I was in. 12:09 This was because I decided to leave my own life, 12:12 and try to fix my own problems. 12:14 Look at what I did! 12:18 I get so proud of God with the way He does us in our 12:22 recovery, is that as you are kneeling down as you're 12:26 surrendering to Him, basically is a surrender. 12:29 I am giving everything to You. 12:30 I do not know the next step. 12:31 I don't even know the next breath. 12:33 I don't even know what I'm going to do when my mom finally 12:36 takes her last breath, so You have to take control. 12:40 So what does that look like? 12:43 That part where God took control and stood you up? 12:47 Well that is when I decided I needed to start making 12:51 better decisions, now that my mom is that the last few 12:54 hours, days maybe hours of her life. 12:57 I needed to be with her in those last hours as an 12:59 example of a changed son. 13:01 I decided to that although she was, you know how the 13:05 chemo did you sometimes where you can't 13:06 even think straight? 13:07 Right! 13:08 Although she was like that I know she understood. 13:11 As I confessed a lot of the things, the mistreatment 13:14 I did to her, and the things I did to her. 13:17 You are able to talk directly to her? 13:19 Yeah, and she couldn't respond, but I knew because I was 13:22 holding her hands, which were cold, and when she would 13:25 squeeze I knew she was telling me I forgive you. 13:28 Exactly! 13:30 I forgive you, and that was such a burden that I know 13:33 came off of her, because I know she felt so bad for what 13:36 she did in her life. 13:37 She was a woman who, her mother used to physically abuse 13:41 her, not sexually but physically beat on her. 13:44 She expressed a lot of that toughness on me as I grew up. 13:48 She was raped when she was younger. 13:50 She went through so much which led to the decisions 13:53 then she made and she thought that was going to make me 13:56 continue to be the way I was for ever. 13:58 But when she saw that change I know she rested in peace. 14:02 God gifted both of you with the ability to set there 14:06 with each other and do that. 14:08 When she died what happened then? 14:11 Well that one moment was two o'clock in the morning. 14:16 I didn't want to sleep all the way in her room, 14:20 I didn't want to disturb her, she had machines on her 14:22 in her room so I was half way in her room and 14:25 half way in my room. 14:26 I couldn't sleep because I was hearing her breathing, 14:30 as I heard her breathing it's got deeper and deeper. 14:33 To the point where I described as marbles in her lungs. 14:37 I knew that that was the moment and I made a couple 14:40 phone calls to my cousins then it was time. 14:43 I knew she was going to pass away right then. 14:46 I woke my dad up and he started speaking to her. 14:49 He tried to reconcile with her because they were 14:52 divorced when I was a couple of months. 14:53 I just remembered that one tear just come down her face 15:01 as she took her last breath. 15:02 I couldn't look at her, I looked away and heard her 15:05 take that last breath. 15:06 I knew they had a least we reconciled and that she knows 15:11 then I forgive her for what she did. 15:14 I will see her again in that resurrection. 15:16 Because "precious in the sight of the Lord, 15:18 is the death of his saints. " 15:20 For a lot of people that do not know, as a Christian we 15:24 believe that God will come back and raise up those who 15:28 have died and whoever is still hanging out and alive will 15:32 actually be transformed and meet up with them. 15:36 So you had that hope and even Christ is comforting 15:39 each other with that. 15:40 That hope that I got was what keeps me alive now. 15:45 It is that hope that one day the I will not only see her 15:48 again, but I will see Jesus Christ, because He is the One 15:51 who did this for me. 15:52 If it wasn't for Him I would have kept making those bad 15:55 decisions and I would have been in a worse place. 15:57 You know what is really funny, because I know that you 16:00 are going to be up there saying thank you so much. 16:02 The Bible says that He is actually going to try and get 16:06 you down as good job well done. 16:09 Do you know what I mean? 16:10 So He said He wants to say the same thing to you. 16:12 I think that reunion is going to be amazing. 16:15 I look forward to taking that crown off and 16:18 laying it at His feet. 16:20 So from that point on, because now you're standing up 16:25 totally new, and how to you than know what to do? 16:29 How do you know what that transform is like? 16:32 What did you do, who did you gather around you? 16:34 In the beginning I did not know what to do next. 16:37 Somebody had told me that God was going to take 16:40 control and change me little by little. 16:42 I didn't know what that meant. 16:44 So I just - do I just sit here? 16:46 I didn't know what to do in the wind blows. 16:49 Somebody told me a story about Nicodemus, 16:52 do you remember that story? Yes! 16:54 Jesus says the wind blows and you do not see it 16:57 coming, you don't see where it is going. 16:58 In the word is interchangeable with the Spirit. 17:00 The Spirit was changing me and I didn't see it. 17:02 I didn't see it happening and He just brought people 17:04 into my life, brought friends I thought I've never had. 17:07 I had to leave all my friends, I was very popular in 17:10 my high school, I was very popular and had to leave them 17:13 all behind, I had to move to another city because of the 17:16 gangs that I was in. 17:17 Because people around you aren't changing just 17:20 because you're changing? 17:21 Even if I tried to help them to change they 17:25 did not want to hear that. 17:26 I tried to speak to them and I started to be looked at 17:30 as weak now, and that was a real prideful issue I had. 17:34 I was this man who wanted people to be like me, I wanted 17:37 them to follow me and now I am this man and to them I am 17:40 weak so that did not work out. 17:44 I was on my own. 17:45 Can you say that in that time come because what is really 17:50 intense in recovery is when I have to learn something, 17:54 I have to learn how to let go of that pride, to learn to 17:58 let go of that part of me that needed people to lift me 18:03 up in that way and you are getting it 100% thrown at you 18:07 that you are losing that image. 18:10 So how did, what was God doing as far as trying 18:13 to teach you to let go, just released that? 18:16 Trust me on this one! 18:17 I just kept waiting on Him and started reading the Bible. 18:20 I had read where it said let this mind be in you which 18:24 was also in Christ Jesus and the image I had before I 18:27 learned had to be replaced. 18:29 Not with a new image that I had to come up with, 18:32 but with His image and I started to let that happen. 18:36 I was fighting it off, although I had given my heart 18:38 to Christ, I still wanted to be that guy in the streets. 18:42 I still wanted followers, I loved it to be so popular. 18:46 It was great, I had a lot of girls but 18:48 I had to let Him do it. 18:52 It's like a drug? 18:53 It's like a drug, you are addicted to it and I believe 18:57 addiction is not only something physical 18:59 but mental as well. 19:00 That is why I like to say how did that look as far as 19:03 the healing, because God doesn't just come in and say 19:06 I'm going to work with your cigarettes, 19:07 I'm just going to work with your alcohol, 19:09 or for the fact that you are smoking weed. 19:11 He says I'm not going to work with one single thing. 19:13 You don't even know how to think yet, 19:15 you don't even know that yet. 19:17 But because I love you I'm going to slowly and as easy 19:20 as I can and we are going to hit all these issues. 19:22 You'll fight him off - - I know. 19:24 You know you will fight Him off, but He does it and 19:27 and you let go and wait on Him. 19:34 With changing you eventually had to move? 19:36 I had to almost disappear. 19:38 My O G, the guy that put me in a gang, he had to 19:44 disappear as well and praise the Lord, 19:46 he came to Christ too. 19:47 What is OG? 19:48 Original gangster, he's guy who puts you in a gang and 19:52 now you are in charge of gathering followers. 19:57 So he starts it off, he moves and starts it off and 20:00 elsewhere, but me and him were like this. 20:01 We were best friends. 20:02 He had to move, I had to move, I had to get away from that 20:07 environment if I wanted to grow in Christ. 20:09 I had to, there was no choice. 20:11 You didn't have to get jumped out, you didn't have to do 20:14 any of that stuff because a lot of times, I watched one 20:17 of the kids I worked with, they jumped her out and beat 20:21 her with irons, I mean it was amazing to see her actually 20:25 be able to walk way. 20:26 You know the type of game that I joined, it's not the type 20:29 a gang you can get out. 20:31 So you just moved? 20:32 I had to disappear, I had to disappear. 20:35 That is where my life started building, my character 20:39 started changing when I was away for those people. 20:44 Away from that environment. 20:46 See if this makes sense to you. 20:48 Because at first when I switched my life, 20:50 even just tell the truth was difficult. 20:52 I would be in the middle of something and would think, 20:54 wait a minute that is not true. 20:56 I'm just thinking was it hard for you? 21:00 Did the Holy Spirit just have to say, 21:04 check you out once you while? 21:05 Yeah, all lot. 21:07 I love the way He does it, because you never 21:10 feel shamed by it. 21:11 I never felt ashamed, I just felt like I so could trust 21:14 Him that He would check me out. 21:18 I started studying a lot about righteousness by faith. 21:21 I started applying that in 21:24 my life and realize that Jesus is righteousness. 21:27 How can I be righteous when I was somebody 21:28 who was so unrighteous? 21:30 So I am going to ask you because one of the things that 21:33 I'm having, it scares me to take a concept that is this huge 21:37 and try to teach it in a way that an addict sitting there 21:41 smoking weed and watching the television can understand. 21:44 So when you start to look at righteousness by faith, 21:47 how did it make sense to you? 21:48 How did you receive that? 21:50 Well I replaced the word righteousness with Jesus Christ. 21:52 Because it's in 1 Corinthians 1:30, it says that 21:56 He was made unto us wisdom and righteousness. 22:00 So what is righteousness? 22:01 It is to the point where I can't do it but He can. 22:05 And since He is righteousness, He can live His life 22:08 through me, He can do for me what I could never do for Him. 22:11 It is never me, if it was I would be, you know. 22:17 I know we keep replaying it because we are players. 22:22 So it's all Him, it's all about Him. 22:25 He did it for me. 22:26 So He says let Me lived in you, let Me give you everything, 22:30 the right behavior that He lived, let Me give that to you, 22:33 and let Me teach you. 22:35 I will be your Father, your counselor, I will be your 22:38 friend, I'll hang out with you and everything you need to 22:41 learn we'll do it together. 22:43 Yeah that is right. 22:44 So what cracks me up is that He stood you up to where you 22:49 had a heart to go tell someone else. 22:52 Well what happened now was I always wanted to be a leader, 22:56 but now I decided that what an opportunity where I could 22:59 be a leader and lead people the right way. 23:02 I decided that instead of leading people towards 23:05 destruction, I can lead them to that same righteousness 23:07 that I am studying, which is Jesus Christ. 23:10 So now my friends back in the streets didn't want to hear 23:14 that I started going to other people who did want to 23:16 hear it, you know? 23:17 I went on the outside on my own, I tried to hand out 23:19 pamphlets, and just invited people for Bible studies. 23:22 I just started teaching them as best that I can what 23:24 righteousness really is. 23:25 God just started maneuvering situations and through the 23:28 Internet I just got in contact with other people and we 23:32 started this Ministry that God is using a special way. 23:35 Can you tell me because I love, even when you start to say 23:39 how God open that up for you, and one thing led to another. 23:42 Even pamphlets, even just walking out, even I know you 23:46 guys have put Bible studies on, cooking 23:48 classes on, and all that kind of stuff. 23:50 It just cracks me up, I can't even imagine 23:52 you in a cooking class. 23:53 Will I do not do the cooking because if I did do the 23:57 cooking but I do to the Bible study in regards to health, 24:01 I can teach a good health message from the Bible. 24:03 Because it is important what we put in our bodies? 24:05 Well it is connected to your mind. 24:07 What ever you eat is going to affect your thinking. 24:10 I truly believe that if you can cleanse your system, 24:12 and you eat the right way you are going to make 24:14 better decisions in your life. 24:15 It's really funny when you say that because see a lot of 24:18 addicts will be having their fourth cup of coffee and 24:20 dingdong or something and trying to figure out how 24:23 to change their life. 24:24 They have nothing, no fuel and so it is cool to me 24:27 that God stood you up and you know that it is all 24:31 important in your recovery. 24:32 What's the name of your Ministry? 24:35 Our Higher Calling Ministry. 24:37 That is way cool. 24:38 Cause it is a higher calling. 24:42 On our next segment we are going to meet somebody 24:45 that works in your Ministry. 24:46 Tell me who it is that we are going to meet and 24:49 then we are going to take a break and come back 24:51 and if you have him up here. 24:53 His name is Siki Plang and he is an incredible 24:57 example in my life. 24:58 He is a person that you can just sit down with and get 25:02 the greatest advice anything where did this come from, 25:06 why did I think about this is so simple. 25:08 He would give you that advice and I know it is the Holy 25:11 Spirit moving that person. 25:12 I'm glad for that person to be involved with this. 25:15 I want to say Edwin is that it is incredibility cool 25:18 to me to watch God stand up, stand you up and work 25:22 in your life in the way He has. 25:23 I think it is amazing and I want to wish you all the luck, 25:28 but there is not luck involved. 25:29 I want to wish you God's blessings on your Ministry 25:32 in one anybody that you guys bring on board to help you. 25:36 Definitely on any of the studies that you guys are doing. 25:40 It's incredible! 25:41 We are going to go ahead and take a break and when 25:43 we come back I would like you to meet Siki Plang and 25:45 you are going to be blessed. 25:46 In this one Ministry there are a number of men and 25:50 women standing up that God is working with, 25:52 that you just want to say how did that happen, 25:55 and they will tell you. 25:56 So we will be right back, stay with us! |
Revised 2014-12-17