Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Dwight Hall, Debbie Hall
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00063B
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00:14 Welcome Back!
00:15 I'm going to start out with 00:16 one of my favorite texts 00:17 I say this all the time 00:18 because I think they really are 00:20 all my favorite texts. 00:21 I want to start out with Proverbs 3:5 and for anybody 00:24 that is recovering from anything. 00:26 If you have any hang-ups, any junk that is just causing you 00:30 pain, any habit that you have, this is a good text for you. 00:34 It says in Proverbs 3:5, "trust in the Lord with all your 00:37 heart," well that makes sense. 00:39 Trust God, turned it over to Him. 00:40 Let Him do it. 00:41 "Lean not unto your own understanding," because your own 00:44 understanding got you exactly where you are at. 00:46 I could go visit people in jail and they will be all strung 00:50 out in jail facing whatever there is their prison term is. 00:54 They'll say you know what Cheri I am fine, and I look around 00:58 and thinking find does not look like that. 01:00 I even work with people that have their liver shutting down 01:03 and all that stuff, and they say you know what I have no 01:05 problems, I'm doing okay. 01:06 I'm thinking okay doesn't look like that. 01:09 So this one says, "lean not on your own understanding and 01:12 in all your ways acknowledge him," which is God, 01:14 "and he will direct your paths. " 01:16 He will take your foot and put your foot one 01:18 in front of the other. 01:20 For addicts we're in rebellion and think do 01:24 I want someone to do that? 01:26 Do I want someone to put one foot in front of the other? 01:27 Do I want someone to say when to stand up 01:30 and went to sit down? 01:31 Yes, absolutely, and I am not even saying that, 01:36 if it was for somebody that didn't taking care about you, 01:40 if it was someone that didn't delight in your recovery, 01:43 if it was somebody that didn't, 01:45 every single thing about God is for us. 01:48 Every single thing about His love is for us. 01:52 He wants us to laugh out loud and understand who we are. 01:55 Every single gift and talent we have, 01:57 He says let Me unfold that for you. 01:58 I was a heroine addict, strung out and illiterate and now I 02:01 travel the world, and I love life, and I have a family that 02:04 is amazing and it is all because God was so for me. 02:07 He said let me direct your path, don't be afraid of that. 02:12 7 says, Proverbs 3:7 says, "do not be wise in your own eyes," 02:17 and I am talking to you! 02:19 Somebody out there, you know who I'm talking to. 02:21 Do not think that you can figure it out. 02:24 I got every book on the planet. 02:25 I got all that kind of stuff and I could not get it. 02:28 "Do not be wise in your own eyes, fear the Lord 02:30 and depart from evil". 02:31 If you question what is evil, What do you mean by that, 02:36 ask God and then shut up and let Him tell you. 02:41 I used to think evil was somebody doing a Ouija board, 02:45 or terra cards, and God said no Cheri it's your lying. 02:49 I'm like, what! 02:52 So ask Him in your own life what does evil look like. 02:56 It may be a few have a religious addiction, or your 02:59 perfectionism, or your critical spirit, your evil may 03:02 look different than a heroine addict's evil. 03:04 A heroine addict's evil may be a needle, a syringe, 03:07 maybe the fact that he steals and plays people, 03:09 but everybody looks different. 03:11 So go and ask God, what does it mean to depart from evil? 03:14 Don't be wise in your own eyes and stay way from evil. 03:18 8 says, and this is cool, "it will be health to your 03:22 flesh and strength to your bones. " 03:24 If you get this it I literally will build you up. 03:27 There is another place and Isaiah 58 which is probably 03:31 my favorite text, I know I always say that but Isaiah 58 03:35 says you will be like a watered garden. 03:37 Everything about you will bring health to people, 03:40 Heath to your own bones but when somebody sits next to you 03:43 it will be like sitting next to someone in a watered garden, 03:46 with flowers blooming, air fresh and all that stuff 03:50 and I so want that. 03:51 God is saying, give it to Me, turn it over to Me and 03:57 I will change everything. 03:58 He will change everything in a way you just say 04:01 how cool are you! 04:02 How cool are you? 04:04 I want to introduce you to some friends of mine Dwight 04:06 and Deb, I want to say thank you for being on our program. 04:09 But before you say a word I want to say to the audience 04:13 some people have seen you before on 3ABN in a different 04:16 capacity with your Ministry a few times, a billion times 04:20 and I was a little bit afraid of having you on the 04:23 program for that very reason. 04:27 If people know you I want them to let that go, 04:30 I want you to just come out in your testimony. 04:33 How did you find God? 04:34 What was your walk like initially? 04:37 When did you decide to turn it over and let 04:39 Him actually direct your steps? 04:41 When did you fall in love with Him? 04:43 We are going to talk about that stuff. 04:44 That's great a lot of people that have seen me, 04:47 they just think when they 04:49 see somebody that has already 04:50 been converted and that is all they see, 04:53 they can't see anything else, but for me 04:56 it is very real and I have never forgotten that. 04:59 For me a started when I was just a child because 05:01 I wanted to do what was right. 05:03 I grew up in a nice Christian home, a good Christian home. 05:05 Your parents loved you through all that stuff? 05:08 Yeah they loved me, it was a very loving family and 05:11 my dad was very strict. 05:13 When he said jump I asked how high and I'm serious, 05:16 I'm not kidding. 05:17 As I went to church I learned the neat stories of 05:19 baby Moses, Daniel in the lion's den, David and Goliath, 05:23 and I loved that. 05:24 What cracks me up when you say that, the first thing I 05:28 remember learning how the first song, it was a song about 05:31 a guy looking for a cigarette butt, 05:33 because my dad was a bartender. 05:35 So not all kids get that, but you are saying you got that. 05:38 I got that and I think a lot of people of think when you 05:41 do get that is like an automatic shoo into Christianity. 05:44 It is not, because a lot of hurting people out there that 05:47 should know God and grew up going into churches but 05:52 they're hurting big-time. 05:54 They are hurting as much as the drug addicts are hurting 05:57 out there, because they don't have God either. 05:58 To me I don't care what you're doing, if you don't have God, 06:01 you don't have God. 06:02 You are saying that you saw some of that? 06:05 I saw some of that and the sad part about it is they 06:08 didn't mean it they thought they were safe, perceptions reality 06:12 I could see they weren't. 06:14 I decided at a young age that I did want to play church. 06:17 I figured that if I was going to do something it was going 06:21 to be real and God already knew about it so 06:23 I was very honest and I left the church. 06:26 I left the church as I got older. 06:27 Your parents were sending you to church school and 06:30 all that kind of stuff? 06:31 They did all that stuff, in fact Cheri the first Academy 06:36 I went to was called a church academy and I went there. 06:40 I did not want to go there, I went to public school 06:43 all my life and it was the first time, I was a Seventh-day 06:47 Adventist and we couldn't play the games on Saturday. 06:50 We couldn't go to birthday parties and so I grew up 06:52 thinking what's wrong with all this? 06:53 Why you can't do this you have to do that to be a Christian. 06:57 So when I went to Academy, they made me go and my mother 07:01 said Dwight, give it three months and 07:04 if you don't like it you can come back home. 07:06 I thought for sure I was coming home because I 07:07 want to play football and I can play on Thursday nights 07:09 for the first time in my life, I love sports. 07:11 I was in the dorm and I got to be friends with the kids 07:15 there, but my junior year, after going for three years, 07:19 I ended up getting kicked out of Academy. 07:21 If you can imagine. 07:22 How did you did get kicked out of Academy? 07:23 Well people can get kicked out doing different things, 07:26 but for me it was smoking pot, I learned to smoke pot, 07:29 I learned to drink, and I learned to swear at Academy. 07:31 What is really interesting is that a lot of times when 07:34 we think that somebody is going to church, going to Academy, 07:36 going to Christian school, that none of that is there. 07:39 That's right! 07:40 That's not, it may be a safer environment, but unless people 07:43 are real enough to look at the issues it's all there. 07:47 You know I think to be honest, people might disagree, 07:50 I think it is an unsafe environment many times because 07:53 we are supposed to be better. 07:54 So we are playing this churchy game that we are Christians 07:57 and we are going to a church academy and 07:59 my kids are going to grow up. 08:00 Many young people that have gone to Academy, 08:04 church academy's, are no longer in the church. Period! 08:07 So it wasn't safe for me I will tell you. 08:09 Let me tell you how I start out a presentation 08:11 at a church school. 08:12 And people hate this, I'm surprised that 08:16 I don't get fired sometimes. 08:17 I'll go in, my name is Cheri from 3ABN and pretty soon 08:20 you hear groans from the kids come because they think 08:23 that is too conservative, too churchy. 08:26 I say raise your hand if you're smoking weed yet, 08:28 or having sex with each other, or if you doing any of that 08:31 kind of stuff because I just need to know 08:33 who I am talking to. 08:34 They are like, I am so not raising my hand and pretty soon 08:38 they are giggling and I said okay so 08:40 we know who each other is. 08:41 We are going to be talking about all that stuff. 08:44 Raise your hand if you are cutting. 08:46 Raise your hand if you are suicidal. 08:47 Raise your hand if you are dealing with rage issues. 08:50 Raise your hand if your parents are divorced. 08:52 I mean all that stuff that people pretends does not happen. 08:55 Let's talk about that because I know there are kids like 08:59 you that are hurting and are hurting in the building. 09:03 I think a lot of times kids, like your going in which 09:07 really to me is great and honorable because they want 09:11 to relate themselves, something isn't working. 09:14 So here I am running around with all these kids and is not 09:16 working for them, most of them, and it is not working for me. 09:19 You're smoking weed your drinking? 09:20 I'm drinking, smoking weed and get kicked out. 09:23 I had gone back to public school, but some my friends 09:26 got kicked out with me, they went to another academy. 09:29 So I begged my mother and father, please just let me go. 09:32 I will be good this time and so they finally let me go at 09:34 the beginning of the semester and it wasn't but 9 weeks 09:37 and I was kicked out that academy also. 09:39 Same reasons? 09:40 Taking drugs that time, I wasn't smoking pot I was taking 09:42 drugs and at that point in time, I will never forget this 09:45 and I thank God for mothers that care for you 09:48 because I ran away. 09:49 I packed some stuff in my suit case. 09:53 There was this town student, that means he was from town, 09:56 that he went to school in the dorm and I opened the window 09:58 up because they were going to take me to the hospital 10:00 just take a urine sample from me. 10:02 I didn't want to do that. 10:03 So I said listen can you get me out of this place? 10:06 He said yeah man come on down, so I ran out the 10:09 fire escape and I took off. 10:11 I thought I better let my mom know. 10:12 Back then they had to pay phones, it was a little town, 10:14 I got on the pay phone and said mom, I'm not coming home. 10:17 She was just crying and she would not let me off that phone, 10:20 she said Dwight I love you, we all make mistakes. 10:22 I said that I had made too many, I have already gotten 10:24 kicked out twice, I have failed you, 10:25 and I am never coming home again. 10:27 But she would not let me of that phone and I went home, 10:29 but I did make one promise, I am not playing church anymore. 10:32 That is about the time I start going away from church and 10:35 getting out and started drinking, ended up going into 10:38 the service because again I think we all want to be special. 10:41 I believe that is true to any young person, or even as we 10:45 get older we want to be somebody. 10:46 I still wanted to be somebody. 10:48 So we're talking about you right now, 10:49 you wanted to be somebody? I wanted to be somebody. 10:51 You wanted to be special? 10:52 I didn't want to be a failure, I wanted to be somebody and 10:55 so I thought I was working for my dad in construction and 10:58 one-day about noon it was raining and I went into town and 11:01 went by this army recruit office sitting inside. 11:05 So I went in there and I wasn't about to join the service, 11:07 that was stupid, but I went in there. 11:09 He said what would you like to do in your life? 11:11 Well I'm thinking I don't want to go to school but if he 11:15 could get me a job over in Hawaii... 11:18 That would be so good! Wouldn't it? 11:21 I'm 17 years old, if I go to Hawaii I can learn to surf, 11:26 I can be on those nice beautiful beaches, 11:29 with all these nice young women, 11:30 get weed, get pot, and be a truck driver. 11:32 He said if I can get you to be a truck driver in Hawaii, 11:36 would you join? 11:37 I said absolutely, and you know what he did. 11:40 He said all you have to do now is take a physical, 11:43 and I went to Detroit, being in Michigan. 11:45 I took a physical exam and a written test and when I got 11:49 done there was this mean looking guy that came out in this 11:52 uniform and he had a beret on. 11:55 He came out and said, Hall, come in here. 11:58 So I walked in the office and thought I obviously was getting 12:03 in trouble and wondered what I did wrong now? 12:05 He said you know what, you passed not only your physical, 12:07 but you passed your written test with flying colors. 12:09 Of course that made me happy because 12:11 I hardly graduated from school. 12:12 He says we have a few jobs for some special people, 12:16 would you like to join? 12:17 He said I will tell you it is going to be tough, 12:19 but when we get done with you you'll no longer be skinny, 12:22 you will be lean and mean. 12:23 Of course there was that special thing, and I wanted to 12:25 be special so I joined the Airborne Rangers. 12:28 No kidding! 12:29 I lost my truck driving job in Hawaii, no surfboards, 12:32 the training was tough, but again it was because 12:34 I wanted to be somebody. 12:36 Exactly, and that is an elite group where you are built up. 12:42 Yeah but training is tough they teach you how to kill, 12:44 I mean you are the first to battle. 12:46 In fact when I got back from the physical in Detroit, 12:50 I went into the Army recruiting station office, 12:52 I don't remember the guys name, he said did you pass? 12:55 I said yeah I passed, everything turned out great, 12:57 but one problem. 12:58 He said what he is that? 12:59 I'm not going to go to Hawaii, 13:01 I am not going to be a truck driver. 13:02 He said what do you mean, what did you do? 13:04 I said I changed where I'm going. 13:06 He said, like what? 13:08 I said I'm going to be an Airborne Ranger, 13:10 I'm going to live the life of danger, I was so excited. 13:12 He said you've got to be kidding me? 13:15 I said why? He said let me show you a film! 13:17 I said fine and he punched in the film. 13:20 I was watching it, and it mentioned in battle the 13:24 Rangers had about an 11 minute life span on the average, 13:26 and I thought I'm not going to die, this is neat. 13:29 So when he got all done, we had jumped out of airplanes, 13:30 and he showed all the stuff and when he got then 13:33 he said what do you think about that? 13:34 I said man I can't wait. 13:35 I was excited because... 13:36 you were on the edge anyway and you wanted to be special 13:39 and all that stuff. 13:41 That's right, I wanted to be special. 13:42 I wasn't thinking about anything to do with God, 13:45 I just wanted to be special, I didn't want to be a 13:48 failure the rest of my life. 13:50 So I got into the service and really started drinking. 13:53 Isn't that interesting, with the religion, 13:55 that when you looked around and it looked like everybody was 13:58 failures, you are not happy in your life, 14:00 you believe this 100% but it hasn't reflected on anything. 14:04 So that wasn't a draw to you, but this was? 14:06 This was because it seemed real, I mean 14:08 I am going to do something that's real. 14:09 I'm going to do something that is truly successful. 14:12 I do not care how hard it is. 14:13 You know to be successful Cheri, especially young people, 14:16 it doesn't matter how hard it is. 14:18 It has to be real! It has to be real. 14:20 That was the thing with me is that it had to be real and 14:23 I didn't care what kind of training it was, I didn't care 14:26 what I had to do, all I wanted to do was be successful. 14:29 I did not want to play and be superficial for 14:32 the rest of my life. 14:33 So this was right on the edge, you were training hard, 14:37 you were drinking hard, hanging out with people that were 14:40 doing the same thing you are doing? 14:41 Exact same thing, but even then I knew I needed a Savior. 14:45 I did not know it in those words but I knew I wasn't happy, 14:49 I knew things were so missing in my life, and I remember one 14:52 night from the service I came home dead drunk. 14:55 I remember because you always bunk with somebody and that 14:59 person wasn't there, I went in my room, I got on my knees and 15:03 I remember folding my hands on the bunk bed there and just 15:07 said Lord I am a mess. 15:09 I know that there is a God out there, 15:11 but I don't know what to do. 15:13 I mean I might be lean and mean, but successful, everything 15:17 that I thought was successful it wasn't working so that night 15:21 when I was down on my knees I was just saying Lord, 15:24 I need your help. 15:25 You know we start bargaining with God, isn't that amazing? 15:28 Here I am bargaining with the Lord if you will do three things 15:31 for me, I'll change my life around. 15:33 So my first,- three things - three things. 15:36 It wasn't 10 or 15 just 3. 15:38 The first one was I said I want to a nice young woman, 15:41 somebody that would be a Christian that would help me out 15:44 Of course I have to say. 15:46 Let's think of God first, first of all I want to woman, 15:49 I want, that cracks me up. 15:51 But that's what I felt was the truth so I do have to cut 15:56 in here right now, that was with Deb, 15:58 and the Lord brought me to Deb on that situation. 16:02 Shortly after that? 16:03 Well after I got out of the service. 16:05 So it was probably a year or so after that, 16:07 that was the first prayer. 16:08 So after that I said Lord I want to learn to walk with You, 16:12 I have heard all the stories about Enoch walking with God, 16:16 and hear Moses is in the wilderness and he learns 16:18 to hear His voice. 16:20 Lord I don't hear Your voice, I believe You are there 16:24 but I just don't hear it so the second one was 16:26 I want to hear God's voice. 16:28 I want to be a real Christian, 16:30 I just didn't know what that was. 16:31 The third thing was, I want to get out the service early. 16:35 I had had enough of it. 16:36 I was finding people that were superficial in there now, 16:39 and it seemed like everywhere I was going, 16:41 people were not real. 16:43 I love the way you said that because there is lot of people, 16:45 I am from the world. 16:48 You know you want to say that in the Christian sense, 16:51 I didn't have any religious restrictions or any of that 16:53 kind of stuff. 16:55 Some body that have religious restrictions say you know what I 16:57 think they're more real out there I'm thinking who lied 16:59 to you I think people are people are people and until we really 17:04 engage in life we are going to be superficial. 17:07 It really takes a commitment to say you know what, 17:10 I actually want to be engaged with people around me, 17:13 and my spirituality with God. 17:15 I think that is right and I think so many people that are 17:20 watching the show, if they can realize it, 17:22 God only made one of you. 17:24 He did not make a thousand, He made one, 17:27 and you need to be who you are in the Lord. 17:30 Don't try to be like everyone else because I think we 17:32 get all messed up trying to be somebody that we are not. 17:35 Have you ever heard people say, I wish I was taller? 17:37 I wish I was shorter? 17:39 I wish I was skinnier? 17:40 I wish I had blue eyes instead of brown eyes? 17:42 I wish I had black hair instead of blonde hair. 17:44 We all want to be something 17:45 we are not, and once we 17:46 realize that God made me, 17:48 who He wanted me to be and we 17:50 trust in Him things start rolling off our shoulders. 17:53 Then we turn it over to Him and that's where 17:56 the starting point begins. 17:58 So you had the prayer, three things. 17:59 I had the prayer with three things, 18:01 I did get the first thing that happened, 18:02 I got out of service early. 18:03 How come? 18:04 Well I told my captain, that is another long story just 18:08 really shortly I really think things out if I am going to 18:11 go speak to someone I don't want to look like an idiot. 18:13 I can see you going up saying, 18:15 I'm sorry this is not working for me. 18:16 Well that is about what I said, 18:19 I just said this army is not for me and 18:22 I knew what the captain would say, 18:24 or I thought that I did. 18:26 That any way to make a long story short I did get 18:28 out of service early and I told them why. 18:30 I said I am taking orders from sergeants that have been 18:34 in here 10 years and they tell me to mop the floor and 18:37 then we had to listen, I might say we ought to strip the 18:40 floor before we wax it. 18:41 Then they say listen you are just a PFC so do what 18:44 I tell you and then the captain comes up and inspects the 18:46 place and it is a mess and says you should 18:48 have stripped the floor first. 18:50 I always told my captain, it is not working and he let 18:54 me out early and then right after that I meant Deb. 18:58 Where? 19:00 Back in Michigan because we are from Michigan and that's 19:02 where I meant Deb, that was a great thing. 19:05 But Deb were you Christian at the time? 19:08 Were you partying with him? 19:09 No, and no partying, no I just met him. 19:13 Didn't go to church. 19:15 So you had no religious background? 19:17 Not really, no. 19:21 So when I meant Deb that was an answer to my prayer, 19:25 but the last thing I said that I wanted to be real 19:27 Christian didn't even happen for a while after that. 19:31 I was still drinking and we ended up getting married 19:34 which was a great thing. 19:35 I told her that I would love and cherish her in sickness 19:38 and health and all that and I was starting 19:41 a business of my own at the time. 19:42 Trying to take care of Deb but we had no money, 19:45 I think many young people have no money. 19:48 Very active in the church. 19:50 So he introduced that to you, and you went back to church? 19:53 I went back to church but I still was not, at the time, 19:56 I was getting more active before I really gave 19:59 my heart to the Lord. 20:00 I was still drinking, it was amazing I could close the bar 20:03 down on Friday night, and there are so many things you 20:06 wouldn't do, some people may not understand this but, 20:09 there are certain things that a Seventh-day Adventist 20:12 you did or did not do like eating clean and unclean food. 20:14 So I would never, even in the service, even if I was starving 20:17 I wouldn't eat any pork, but I would drink. 20:20 That was not as bad as eating pork. 20:26 I would buy something on Friday night, 20:27 but would not buy it on Saturday. 20:29 Each just not even right but perception is reality. 20:32 What is really interesting to me is that until we actually 20:36 turned over to God we will set up our own rules and 20:38 we will follow those rules. 20:39 I remember, tell the story about the ham sandwich 20:42 when you ordered a ham sandwich. 20:43 Well that was a normal thing for me to do and he asked me 20:46 do you have to eat that? 20:48 I said no but you know 20:50 it is good, so he would say well and would start explaining 20:57 a few things and I would just say she show me in the 21:00 Bible were I can't eat a ham sandwich? 21:02 Just show me. 21:03 And so he took it to the Leviticus. Yeah! 21:05 I would show her. 21:07 And you are still drinking - oh yeah I was drinking a lot. 21:10 Then he would say you probably shouldn't be doing this, 21:13 or you probably should be doing that and 21:15 I was like okay show me that the Bible. 21:17 So he would show me that the Bible. 21:18 This is the funniest story ever. 21:20 You have got to say about what you are trying to 21:23 tell him how much he drank and asked if you could 21:26 have his cans for what? Tell that story. 21:29 Now we are very active in the church. 21:37 We were very active though, but he is drinking a lot. 21:40 I mean he would go out with my brother or couple of his 21:44 buddies and I would say why do you have to go out with them? 21:46 Why don't you want to be with me? 21:49 But anyway I remember asking him you know any beer cans 21:54 that you have can I have the money. 21:57 Yeah we didn't have no money. 21:59 He's like well you're not going to get very much, 22:02 I mean they are only $.10 a can. 22:03 I say can I have the money from the beer cans? 22:05 He said yes, and I said are you positive I can do whatever 22:09 I want with the money from your beer cans? 22:12 Yeah, no problem. 22:14 So I did - are you smart? 22:16 Because most alcoholics we do not know 22:19 how many beer cans we actually have. 22:21 He did not think he drank that much at home, 22:24 he might ride around with a couple guys, 22:26 but he did not really realize how much 22:28 he was doing at home. 22:29 So I would save the cans and I would take them and save 22:33 that money which did not take very long I go out 22:35 and getting new outfit. 22:37 Then he would come and say where did you get that outfit? 22:40 Like every husband says. 22:41 Yeah I was upset because here we had no money and women 22:45 normally have a lot more dresses than the men have pants 22:48 so I would say Honey we can't afford it. 22:50 Where in the world, we don't have any money. 22:52 She said it was from - beer cans I would save that money. 22:56 So what did you think when she said that? 22:58 Because if you get it at all you have to know that. 23:00 He didn't get it - he didn't get it? 23:02 I didn't believe it, what really changed was when she 23:07 was dragging out these big black garbage bags that would 23:11 be put in one of these big dumpsters, and it was filled 23:15 with beer cans and I said where have you been? 23:18 Where did you get those, you did not get those from home? 23:22 And every one of them. 23:24 I did not believe it at first, but it was true and 23:28 I thought I have a bigger problem than I thought I had. 23:30 So little by little with just break and denial. 23:32 Can we talk about the windowsill? 23:36 Sure! That would be embarrassing. 23:40 Now I think that was more a breaking stone for him. 23:44 He would come home late, or what ever, he didn't go out 23:47 and party a lot but he still will go out 23:50 especially with my brother. 23:52 But this one particular night he was standing at the 23:55 window and I had a candy dish there and I thought he was 23:58 unwrapping a piece of candy. 24:00 I realized what he was doing now is like Dwight, 24:04 you need to go to the bathroom. 24:06 He was peeing on the windowsill, a wide windowsill. 24:10 He thought he was in the bathroom? 24:13 He did not even know what was going on, 24:14 I kept saying go to bathroom, go to the bathroom 24:15 go to the bathroom. 24:16 Well he did go into the bathroom but 24:17 he came right back out and crashed in bed. 24:22 So I had to, it took me three huge towels 24:27 and had to soak all this stuff up. 24:28 I just threw it in the tub and the next morning 24:30 I said Dwight, I said you need to get yourself together 24:34 because this is what you did last night. 24:37 And he's like get out. 24:39 He is like angry, very angry, I did not. 24:41 I said you go and smell the towels. 24:43 I told her Honey I am not in the mood for jokes 24:46 I have a terrible headache. 24:47 Yeah I bet you do. 24:49 Don't be kidding me this isn't it time to joke, 24:52 talk to me later. 24:53 She said I am not kidding you, you go smell those towels. 24:55 They were definitely in there and I was livid. 24:58 So I'm just going to say right now because a lot of people 25:01 will say to me Cheri why do people have 25:03 to air people's laundry like that? 25:05 I'm thinking because it is lot of our laundries, 25:07 I lot of us are doing crazy stuff, 25:09 we are hiding drinking, we don't know how much we are drinking. 25:12 We are trying to play, we are trying to have 25:14 two different lives our professional life, 25:16 our church life, our home life. 25:18 I think for God when He says how am I going to heal 25:21 you if you can't even see the issues? 25:24 So the reason we are so blessed by you guys sharing 25:27 this kind of stuff, is that you had to see it before 25:31 you could even get well. 25:32 Anybody that is watching has to see it before 25:34 they can get well. 25:35 And I think we have to be honest, like I said I didn't 25:38 want to play church, and I did not want to be unreal. 25:40 You are all that at that moment? 25:42 I was all that, but I did not want to be. 25:44 I think most of us don't truly want to be that way, 25:47 but I didn't anyway. 25:48 But she was very patient, she tells lot of people, 25:53 a lot of people when I share my testimony come up to me 25:56 and say to Dwight I'm so glad you have bared your soul 25:58 and have been honest because 26:00 we have a lot in common and they will look at Deb and say, 26:03 honey I don't you put up with such a jerk all these years? 26:06 But she was patient, she loved me and knew that I loved her. 26:10 And you knew he was a good guy. 26:11 He just had to see this. 26:13 He just needed to grow up, and he's working on that. 26:18 But that was the starting of a changing in me, but Cheri 26:22 I became a vegetarian, I came back into to the church 26:27 through the health message because I was a terrible eater. 26:29 When did you mean by that? 26:30 We wouldn't always eat pork like I mentioned, 26:33 I had a terrible diet, I drink 15 to 20 cups of coffee 26:36 every day. I probably drink a 6 pack of Mountain Dew every 26:40 day, of course I was young and the basketball team. 26:43 I was doing a lot of things but eating terrible food. 26:46 I decided that wasn't right and somebody gave me a book 26:50 on health and I started reading it and I went to 26:54 health food stores and get other books. 26:55 I came back in through... 26:57 Did you get a bike? 27:01 I hate bikes Cheri so don't ever get me a bike. 27:04 I like a motorcycle, not a pedal bike, it's too hard, no! 27:09 Anyway I came back through that and 27:11 here was a scary thing for me. 27:13 So you can't even come out all that addiction stuff until 27:16 you start getting healthier, so that's where you are at? 27:19 I think that was the thing, and again I didn't know that 27:21 it clears your mind up and I didn't understand that 27:23 but God was with me. 27:24 I want to say this to the people to let them know, 27:27 God is with us, He never wants to let us go. 27:31 He says I will never leave thee nor forsake thee. 27:33 Even when you are acting like an idiot. 27:34 He didn't say that in the exact words. 27:36 He might have said that and I might not have been listening. 27:38 He is wooing us, He woos all of us 27:40 every single day, every moment of the day. 27:42 It is just that we are so far away sometimes that we 27:44 don't listen and so I always tell people that 27:46 I am not on plan A with God, I haven't been for years. 27:49 I'm on plan double-z, I've went through the alphabet 27:51 at least twice. 27:53 He loves me so much that when He sees me fail, 27:55 He says okay I'll work on the next plan, and start over 27:58 again and bring it back around to where I need to be. 28:02 So He is wooing us and that is what is happening to me. 28:05 The health message by studying I started eating 28:09 healthier and clearing up my mind and 28:10 the scariest thing for me was to quit drinking. 28:13 I was a complete vegetarian before a quick drinking beer. 28:16 Wasn't that the weirdest thing? 28:18 I was afraid that I would have to do?. 28:19 So what where you afraid of? 28:20 I will not have another beer my life. 28:23 I wasn't thinking day by day thinking, I like it, 28:26 I enjoy it and then I want to give up something that 28:29 I enjoy and I end up making excuses like, 28:31 church people are drinking Coke with all the caffeine in it, 28:33 and all the sugar and eating all the donuts and everything 28:36 and I just have a beer now and then. 28:38 It is not a big deal, but I knew in the depths of my 28:41 heart that this had to go but I seriously was afraid. 28:44 What if I was unsuccessful, what if it didn't work. 28:47 What if I didn't like who I was without this? 28:49 That's right absolutely scary, and I was scary. 28:52 Part of what I said I did not know how to socialize, 28:55 but give me a couple lines of Coke and 28:57 I could talk your head off. 28:59 Give me a beer or whatever, so what if I do not know who 29:02 I am outside of this? 29:04 That was my problem, I was so afraid because I have been 29:07 telling people I want to be real and I didn't want to play 29:10 church even though I've went to church I knew I was lost soul 29:14 I knew it was going to make heaven and I wasn't being a 29:16 hypocrite, I just felt if I, for me if I completely left 29:19 and never went to church maybe I would never come back. 29:23 So what made you finally give it up? 29:25 When did you finally say okay I'm done? 29:28 It was one Sabbath afternoon and they had a Bible series 29:34 going on and I was laying on the couch Sabbath afternoon 29:37 and the Spirit just spoke to me and said to me Dwight you 29:40 need to go to these meetings, but I had been to these 29:43 meetings a hundred times before, I'm not going to go. 29:45 I could not sleep. 29:46 I went and had a friend and his wife, 29:50 he was a manager for me. 29:52 I went to his house and it's still small voice was 29:54 saying you have got to go and ask this person. 29:57 I said they are not going to go, but I went and asked and 30:00 the guy, when I went in he offered me a beer and I took it. 30:03 Can you imagine I'm open up this beer and inviting. 30:07 I love that. 30:09 In fact it was Kenneth Cox, that was the evangelistic 30:12 series that I went to was a Kenneth Cox crusade. 30:14 So I'm opening this beer and asking this guy to go to a 30:16 crusade with me, but to make a long story short 30:19 he went to and that was last beer I ever drank. 30:22 I had nightmares for five years off and on. 30:24 The dreams were so real, that I was drinking and 30:27 taking drugs and going to parties, and they were real. 30:30 In my dreams I would say, this isn't a dream this is real. 30:33 Then I would wake up and thank the Lord. 30:34 Then to add on to the story a little bit like my whole heart 30:40 to the Lord, but I still do not understand. 30:43 I still did not fully turn it over and we ended up 30:47 moving way out in the boondocks in Montana where there 30:51 was grizzly bear, Moose, and elk. 30:52 I said if I cannot face God and know who He is and learn 30:57 listen to him like Enoch did. 30:59 Before we go there, before we go there are want to open 31:02 it up for questions because we are running out of time and 31:04 I want to make sure because I know there are people here at 31:06 the Café that want to ask you some things about 31:09 what you have said already. 31:10 Hold on about when you move to Montana because 31:13 that is a huge thing. 31:14 Okay I want to start with Geri, you had a question. 31:18 I can so relate to what you said earlier Cheri about 31:21 reading the books and doing it on your own, buying the 31:24 books getting the books, somebody's going to give you 31:26 the books so you can do this on your own, fake it till 31:29 you make it as we say in NANA and I tried to do that. 31:33 Like Dwight you said, you got the books on the health 31:36 food thing and you are going to do it and get to 31:38 where you want to be. 31:40 I just wanted to be normal, 31:41 it's like God can I please just be normal? 31:43 That is all I want is to be normal. 31:44 I wanted to be somebody and feel like I had a purpose and 31:47 I have done all those things and gone through all the steps 31:50 but I am still not sure that I have made it. 31:52 How do you know when you've gotten past that point you are 31:54 trying to do it on your own, how do you get to the point of 31:57 actually letting God and quit trying to fix yourself? 32:01 I do not know if I'm there yet? 32:02 Wow! What do you think? 32:06 I think it is a good question and I'm not sure you are 32:10 ever going to fully feel that you have got it made. 32:14 It's just done. 32:16 I think what you said when you were speaking before hand, 32:21 that you start a relaxing a little bit, because I do 32:24 believe the Bible says My sheep hear My voice and 32:27 I think the thing most of us, I have 32:31 a text Isaiah 30:15, it says in 32:33 quietness will be our strength. 32:35 When we are trying to 32:36 put things in a box, 32:37 us humans want give me a list of 10 things and 32:40 I will do them. 32:41 We have to get all that box and let God lead. 32:44 When you move to Montana one of the reasons you moved out 32:47 there was to get into a quiet place to break all that stuff. 32:51 Absolutely because I was losing my temper, 32:52 being a head elder and doing all these things. 32:54 I could give a Bible study and come home 32:56 and yell at my wife. 32:57 I knew that something was wrong because I was praying and 33:00 Lord said you are not taking time enough to be still 33:03 and know who I really am. 33:05 You are trying to do all these things to become a good 33:08 Christian and you are not leading Me lead, 33:10 and that is why we moved out there. 33:11 I think that is amazing and, Geri I have to say to you, 33:15 it was really strange one day I woke up and opened my eyes 33:19 and all of a sudden I thought I feel so incredible today. 33:23 Then I was thinking, is it my birthday? 33:25 And I was trying to figure out did 33:28 I just not remember what's happening today? 33:31 All of a sudden I heard the Holy Spirit say no Cheri, 33:34 this is what health feels like, and I thought 33:37 are you are kidding me. 33:38 So you are saying you want that feeling, 33:40 just that feeling of health? 33:42 What I realized is that as I rely on God, 33:46 as I totally realize that it is really His battle, 33:49 I'm not going to find the right book, 33:51 I'm not going to find the right steps, 33:53 I am not going to find any of that until I find God. 33:56 When I find God just say to Him, let me be quiet 34:00 in Your presence, let me ask for your Holy Spirit 34:02 every day, let me start leaning on You. 34:05 It's strange because every time I pick it up again, 34:08 every time I strive again, every time I frantically 34:11 searched to be normal, to be real and all those kinds of 34:15 things, I am often running on my own again 34:17 I will fall down in exhaustion and God says please 34:20 don't do it on your own. 34:22 Do not lean on your own understanding 34:24 like we covered in Proverbs. 34:25 Really learn to rely on Me. 34:27 When you were in Montana that was for both you and 34:30 Deb and your children were learning to totally 34:33 listen to God, slow down, cut the whole pace out, 34:37 look at your family am I doing the right thing at home even. 34:40 So many miss this point. 34:44 We want to do all these great things, we want to have 34:47 these steps, and I am not saying there aren't steps, but I am 34:51 saying that we can't put that in front of God. 34:54 With God all things are possible and He will teach you, 34:57 He said listen I will teach you, I will give you word behind your 35:01 ear, besides you, walk in My ways and you cannot do that 35:04 if you are so rushed, even with good things. 35:07 Like big church things, you have to have time with God. 35:10 My life changed drastically, it is another story. 35:14 God will do it. 35:15 We have a couple minutes, that is not a lot of time. 35:18 Deb do you want to say anything 35:20 more about your guys journey? 35:21 Because you guys have come from a long way. 35:23 Long way, I don't know what else you want to cover. 35:28 One thing you asked me before we were on, is being afraid. 35:31 We've got a couple minutes. 35:33 Real quick, I had a tendency of just being really afraid. 35:37 Before we move to Montana, once we move to Montana now we 35:41 have bears to contend with, I mean that is real, that's real. 35:45 Not only does the bear have an alcoholic husband, 35:48 but now you have physical fears? 35:52 And with little kids, she is worried about the children. 35:54 The kids would just come inside and sit down and 35:58 I would say what are you doing? 35:59 Oh the bear is back, because we have bears in our yard 36:01 all the time, any which does nothing to them. 36:04 I realized we were teaching them they have angels 36:07 and you are okay. 36:08 My son he was nose to nose with a bear and he comes in, 36:12 it says mom the Bears here, it was right here, 36:15 it was right here. 36:17 I was like Seth, what are you talking about? 36:19 The bear was right here and I finally realize Seth, 36:23 did you shut the door? 36:24 Because if you did not shut the door that means 36:26 the Bears coming in. 36:28 You know what he was not afraid, he was like yes 36:30 I shut the door, we don't want the bear in the house. 36:33 I think from that point that really helped me, 36:37 as a mom to say you know I don't have to be afraid either. 36:40 I have angels too. 36:42 So you were learning how to step into a real relationship 36:46 with God, you also were learning how to give up fears and trust 36:50 the God that you were raised with that you were learning 36:53 at the same time you that you were helping him 36:55 in his recovery. 36:56 I'm just glad that you shared all that. 36:58 We could do it least another couple programs on 37:01 just your own recovery process. 37:04 I want to say thanks Dwight and Deb for coming on 37:07 the program and thanks for sharing that. 37:09 You know that you can never drink, unfortunately? 37:14 That is right! Never! 37:16 That is right absolutely! 37:17 For anybody watching there is a point where we come 37:19 and finally let go and let God. 37:21 Sometimes He may just say things that you have used 37:24 your whole life you will have to give up. 37:27 We will pout and it takes us years to get it 37:30 but when we finally get it and life turns around. 37:32 I'm going to be right back were going to talk some more 37:35 so stay with us! |
Revised 2014-12-17