Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Rhonda Burnett
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00067A
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00:10 Welcome to Celebrating Life in Recovery!
00:12 I have met people that say 00:13 I have been in recovery for 00:15 10, 20, 30 years and I still 00:16 don't get it, it is because you forgot this one step. 00:19 Join us at the Café, you are going to be blown away by this. 00:50 This is going to be fun today in the Café. 00:53 We are talking about recovery 00:55 still, every season every show. 00:58 Just because it is my passion and what is interesting 01:01 to me is when you look at why do people fail so much? 01:05 Why is it that people start out and they are just thrilled. 01:09 They finally get the fact that I am powerless and I cannot do 01:14 anything and that there is a God and He can restore me. 01:18 It's like I'm not going to be crazy my whole life and 01:22 He can restore me to sanity, every page of the Bible says it. 01:26 Every page of the big book says that. 01:28 Every page of a 12 step program says that you are powerless, 01:32 God is going to restore you, and it also talks about looking 01:36 at your stuff and get an idea of who you are because if you 01:40 do not know who you are even in a Christian sense. 01:42 I've been away from 12 step programs because I have done 01:46 a lot of my own recovery through God, through my spiritual 01:49 relationships so if I understand that I am powerless then I 01:53 God then I really need to look at some stuff because 01:56 I need to know what to bring to Him. 01:57 I may bring the wrong things, 01:59 but I actually won't run out of things. 02:02 I need to bring to Him my addictions and eating disorders, 02:05 my depression, my anger, and my junk. 02:09 My thinking is so twisted so it is like I do not even know 02:13 what to surrender if I haven't looked at something. 02:17 That is the good part of recovery and the next part is 02:21 just making amends and taking care of some stuff. 02:25 In a step program, steps six and step seven, they are called 02:30 the forgotten steps and I just got this for a friend of mine. 02:34 The forgotten steps, forgotten steps because there are some 02:39 people in 12 step programs that get to the point where they 02:43 know they are powerless and they know they have issues. 02:48 I have to look at some of this stuff and I 'm so glad there is 02:51 a God and they get to that point and then they take a breath. 02:56 That was a lot of things to look at, lot of stuff to work on 03:00 In some 12 step programs you are writing down your 03:03 character defects, you are finding one person, a sponsor 03:07 some body you trust and start sharing it with them. 03:10 That is the hardest thing, I know we have been friends 03:13 for a long time, but I am such a liar. 03:16 Do you know what I mean, 03:18 when you honestly start sharing stuff, 03:20 it is really tough. 03:21 I am socially underdeveloped. 03:24 If I did not drink or use, I couldn't say my name 03:28 without going into a panic attack. 03:30 That is hard to say if somebody especially when you have 03:32 been the life of the party. 03:34 You are out there, you are saying and doing all the right 03:38 things and people are, no, Cheri we love to have you around. 03:41 Do you know if I am not drinking or using, I panic when the phone 03:45 rings because I do not want to pick it up, 03:47 I don't know what to say. 03:48 Do you know that about me so there are steps where you are 03:51 sharing that kind of stuff. 03:52 Do you know that I have felt like a fraud my entire life? 03:56 Every lie I have told was to get over that. 03:59 Did you know that about me? 04:00 Did you know that I had addictions that are so twisted 04:04 that I'm afraid to even say them out loud? 04:06 Did you know that? So those things are important to do. 04:11 And going back again to my spiritual thing it says to 04:14 confess to one another, pray for each other so that 04:18 you can be healed. 04:19 It is real interesting is that no matter where you are at, 04:22 no matter what your program is, no matter who you're relying on, 04:26 as far as in a personal sense, God says there are certain 04:31 things you need to do. Right? 04:33 You need to recognize that you are powerless, recognize that 04:38 you need God, that there is a God and you need God. 04:41 Recognize that and talk to somebody else. 04:43 Look at your stuff, share it with them. 04:45 Okay now we are going to get to the steps we are covering 04:48 in this program. 04:49 This program says, I am going to read the step as far as 04:54 how it is in a recovery program. 04:56 The steps says, "we are entirely ready to have God remove 05:00 all are defects of character." 05:03 Who will remove them? Me? No! God. 05:08 And every one for some reason, in any program that you look 05:13 at, somebody is miserable 30 years into their recovery 05:16 is because they forgot this step. 05:18 I looked at all that stuff and then I set about to fix it. 05:25 Please hear the difference, the step doesn't say we are 05:29 entirely ready to set about to fix it. 05:32 The step says I am entirely ready to let God remove all that 05:37 And so in step seven, I just have to go to seven. 05:39 "Humbly ask Him to remove them. 05:42 I think the humble is important because to humbly ask Him to 05:47 remove them, saying I don't even know, I have two admit I 05:51 don't even know, I am an adult in an adult body and should 05:54 be more competent than I am, but I don't even know where 05:57 to put my foot. Right? 06:00 I have lived my life, I have told to a little bit of the 06:02 stuff I had to look at in my recovery. 06:04 I had to share with one other person. 06:06 I was so, from the time I was two and three years old, 06:12 I learned to disassociate. 06:14 I was being molested since I was three months old. 06:17 So I learned not to be present ever, do you know what I mean? 06:22 If somebody attacked me I could disassociate, 06:25 I would be like a dog back at you. 06:28 I could pull your eyes out, 06:29 I could fight and do all that stuff. 06:31 I could disassociate be something else. 06:34 If I was afraid socially, I could disassociate be somebody 06:37 that is competent. 06:38 If you are going to injure me in some way, 06:40 I could disassociate and be absent, 06:43 totally absent because I didn't know how to be that so I 06:48 would disassociate at the drop of a hat. 06:50 I started asking God, I don't know how to do this? 06:54 He said for one Cheri I don't want you to drink or use. 06:57 I'm thinking stop, are you kidding me? 07:00 I don't know how to do this, I don't know how to do 07:02 this without drinking or using. 07:04 So can I use anything, is there an herbal Valium? 07:07 Is there anything? He is like oh no I want you to get up 07:13 today and I want you to take a breath, eat healthy, 07:17 get outside and try to laugh. 07:20 Learn how to do things in a different way and I'll start 07:22 teaching you, so that if they let go and let God. 07:24 I was ready to let go and let God, right? 07:28 As I do that God will tell me the next step. 07:31 What is really interesting to me is that He does that. 07:34 I remember, even at one time, 07:36 thinking God I don't know how to do this. 07:40 I'm in a social situation, I marry somebody that 07:43 teaches at a university and plays in the orchestra, 07:46 that goes to these fundraisers. 07:48 I'm so panicked all the time. 07:51 I remember being at a fundraiser one time and I was just 07:54 adorable, I have to tell you I had this cute little 07:57 outfit on and everything was perfect. 08:02 I looked normal, which cracks me up, but I looked normal. 08:09 I just remember being at the event and I couldn't think 08:13 of anything to say. 08:14 I was afraid somebody was going to talk to me and all the 08:16 anxiety and social things were coming up. 08:19 I remember thinking as I saw a group of people playing darts. 08:22 I thought I would just play darts with them because in the 08:27 bars I hustled for money with darts and pool and that stuff. 08:32 I didn't realize I didn't have any drugs. 08:34 I didn't know how to do that anymore. 08:35 I throw the dart, poof, and then I had to add up something. 08:40 I went into this panic attack and couldn't think. 08:43 So I could not add it up and I then felt stupid and 08:47 wanted to escape and disassociate and God tells me, 08:50 Cheri stay present. 08:52 I'm saying no, don't ask me that, please don't ask me that. 08:56 It was like He was teaching me, like I was a little child. 09:00 How to stay present, how not to run, how to be in social 09:05 situations without drinking or using. 09:08 It was not easy, but He was so faithful. 09:11 Every time I took it back from Him and decided 09:14 I could do it on my own, every time, I could do it on my own. 09:22 I'll just do some, I'll just do whatever. 09:27 I took it back and it was miserable. 09:32 Some people take it back for 10 years, 20 years, 30 years. 09:35 They eventually end up drinking again or kill themselves. 09:39 The suicide rate for people in recovery that don't do these 09:43 two steps is high, so let me just say again before we break, 09:47 introduce you to the guests, I am going to tell you 09:49 what the steps are. 09:50 I am fully aware of the stuff, I'm fully aware of who 09:55 I am, what kind of stuff I'm involved in. 09:59 I am fully aware of how messed up I am. 10:02 Don't color code any of that, 10:07 don't make any of it look better than it is. 10:09 If you are a liar say it, because I said I'm not a liar, 10:13 I may exaggerate a little bit but I'm a good person. 10:18 God just shows me a few things and I'm thinking 10:22 maybe not all that good. 10:25 Just don't color code it, don't make it look better than it 10:27 is because it keeps you're stuck longer. 10:29 If you have a porn addiction and you are on line all the time 10:32 If you would rather be online than be with your family, 10:34 that's twisted. 10:37 If you, in your head, go some place sexually every time you 10:40 are with a person that you love, and I am talking to a lot 10:43 of women out there, that is twisted and God doesn't want 10:46 you to half to do that. 10:47 If you have eating disorders, if you have to hide your food. 10:51 If every time you are stressed you have to eat something 10:55 and you are bulimic and throwing up or cutting yourself, 11:00 or what ever, that is twisted. 11:02 If you are miserable all the time and you don't even 11:06 know why, it is usually because you have some junk that 11:10 God wants to remove from you. 11:11 So when we fully look at all of that and then let Him 11:16 start directing you, that is the most important thing. 11:21 In our series, what we are calling that, is righteousness, 11:26 or right behavior by faith. 11:28 I am by faith saying God, okay I am starting to see 11:34 all of this, now what? Now what do I do? 11:37 How do I do the next thing? 11:39 He says to ask for the Holy Spirit, and we did a whole 11:43 season on that, but ask for the Holy Spirit. 11:45 Ask Me to come and live with you, actually in your very being 11:52 and I will direct everything from this point on. 11:56 Everything, and I am like everything? Everything! 12:00 He even says to surrender everything. 12:02 It doesn't mean I don't do any work, and I love this analogy 12:06 I read today in my devotions. 12:09 If I am praying God I am in recovery and I actually think 12:14 I want to be a doctor, He says you know what I'll start 12:20 making a way for you to go to med school. 12:22 He is not going to all of a sudden, poof, 12:24 alright you are a doctor. 12:26 He is not a genie and He is not going to do the work for you. 12:29 He says I will open the way for you to do this. 12:32 The work sometimes will be tough but it is God leading the 12:36 work, it is God showing you where to work. 12:38 It is God providing you the strength to do the work. 12:43 In Galatians again, it is an incredible book because 12:47 Paul goes back to them a lot. 12:49 He says, you know you were thrilled, you were thrilled 12:52 and now you are miserable, what happened? 12:54 Now you are looking at ways to, somebody said okay you finally 13:00 get it or what ever, but have you been circumcised? 13:03 In the Jewish culture that was a big deal. 13:05 Paul says, that is not what it is, you came by faith in 13:10 Christ, to do the works so stay with that. 13:13 So in your recovery your faith in Christ, in His ability 13:16 to give you His Holy Spirit so that He could teach you 13:20 what right behavior is, it's absolutely huge. 13:24 It is so huge that if you don't get this step you will not 13:28 be able to do recovery, you will not be able to change 13:31 anything, God will not be able to change anything for you. 13:36 The next step is like it in that I am fully or humbly come 13:40 to God and allow Him to now start removing things. 13:44 If He said, Cheri I want you to stay present, 13:48 which was the hardest thing for me. 13:49 If you are out there and you hear what I am saying, 13:53 if you have disassociate disorder or you tend to 13:57 disassociate because of the damage you had in your past, 13:59 stay in present, even with the people I loved it was difficult. 14:03 He would say stay present and I would want to scream, 14:07 that is so not fair! 14:09 I so do not want to do this, I can't, I can't, I can't. 14:12 He's like you can, you can, you can. 14:15 As I started to learn that and started to stay present, 14:19 what is cool to me is that I have people in my life that 14:24 actually know who I am now. 14:27 They like me, how fun is that? 14:30 I thought nobody would like me unless I drunk or high or 14:32 able to entertain, and God said, 14:36 I want to teach you to connect with people. 14:39 I want to teach you to be in your own skin. 14:42 I want to teach you how incredibly cool it is to 14:46 actually do recover and once we get that is amazing because now 14:50 I want to teach you what life is about. 14:52 So now let's get off you, which is tough for addicts 14:56 because we think it's all about us, 14:57 let's get off of you and let Me teach you about life. 15:00 These two steps I'm telling you if you don't get them, 15:03 if you don't get this by turning it over to God and 15:06 allowing Him to abide in you, allowing His righteousness 15:09 His right behavior to become part of your existence 15:14 you will be miserable for ever. 15:17 That is not His plan. 15:18 So we are going to take a break and we'll be right back. 15:20 So stay with us. 15:21 It is absolutely the coolest thing to watch God do this 15:24 for somebody and we are going to hear someone's testimony 15:28 of how she is dealing with this very step. 15:31 We'll be right back, stay with us. |
Revised 2014-12-17