Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Brad Peters
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00072B
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00:14 What I am going to love about this program is just
00:18 presenting the fact as couples we are never in 00:21 the same place, I mean you may be, but I travel all 00:24 over the country, all over the world now. 00:27 I meet people that one person is Christian 00:30 and one person is not. 00:31 One person is in recovery, and one person that is 00:33 kind of in recovery. 00:34 And there are all different levels so I was really 00:37 excited when Brad agreed to come on the program and 00:40 share our journey. 00:42 I'm afraid of what stories he will tell, but you know 00:44 I'm leaving that in God's hands. 00:46 I want to just say Brad thank you so much for being 00:49 on the program, and I know personally what we have 00:51 been through together. 00:52 What you have been through just in your own salvation. 00:55 And because you were not in the spiritual stuff for the 00:58 first years of our marriage. 01:01 So I want you to just let people know who you are, where 01:05 you came from, a little bit about how we met, because 01:10 that is so romantic, and what brought you to a place 01:14 where religion or Christ or God was even something 01:19 you were interested in. 01:20 Well I am so excited to be here, it is just amazing. 01:24 It is really fascinating when I think about God working 01:28 in my life, and knowing that He totally brought us 01:31 together and it is really crazy because we come from 01:35 opposite ends of the spectrum, I mean just opposite ends. 01:38 I was as a Boy Scout, my dad was a Research Engineer 01:41 for the US government and served as an Ambassador to 01:45 Bangladesh on a temporary basis once. 01:47 My mom was a concert violinist for 50 years in the 01:50 Madison Symphony orchestra. 01:52 Bringing just basic middle American was my life and that 01:58 He put us together was pretty amazing. 02:00 - When I first met your folks I was scared to death. 02:03 I knew there was nothing in my background that they would 02:07 even be excited about. 02:08 So we were from two different places, and I am saying that 02:13 but, I know your folks love me. 02:15 Oh yeah, oh yeah you kidding, they love you like crazy. 02:18 So it was really interesting and I had been raised in a 02:22 Methodist environment and did the confirmation thing in 02:25 ninth grade and after that I was pretty much done 02:27 with going to church because I was confirmed and 02:29 it was all good, right? I'm good to go. 02:31 When we met I was not practicing anything, I did believe 02:36 in God per se but I was not going to any church or 02:40 Bible study in any way, shape, or form. 02:43 So it has been interesting to watch God work in my life, 02:46 to bring me to this place where I am sitting here on this 02:49 show talking to you and excited about the fact that we are 02:51 starting to work together. - right! 02:53 That God is standing you up? 02:54 - oh, in a big way. In a big way. 02:57 There were so many years in our relationship that I was 03:02 doing Ministry and you were not even into that. 03:05 So for couples who have that kind of experience, what was 03:09 that like for you? 03:10 I know what it was like for me, - I know what it was like 03:12 for you. - it was horrible. 03:15 - Tell me, I'm sorry. I'll try to maintain myself. 03:18 It is really interesting for me looking back on it because 03:22 I think the biggest changes for me probably happened in the 03:27 say last two years, three years in terms of just suddenly 03:32 understanding what that is. 03:33 You even told me, God is telling me you are going to be 03:36 involved with this, in fact you're going to be running 03:38 this, I'm like, get out of town, are you sure? 03:41 What was really interesting is I would pray God, he is 03:45 not even interested, and God would be clear through the 03:48 Holy Spirit saying, one day he is literally going to take 03:51 leadership of this Ministry and leadership of your home. 03:55 I would look at you to get you, well there was no way to 03:57 get you to pray, you were just not interested in that nor 04:00 into that, so I would look and say God, he is not, 04:03 he's not, and after five years, then six years, then seven 04:09 years, after all that time I was becoming very almost 04:13 discouraged that would ever happen. 04:15 I'm so thrilled that I didn't loose hope totally because 04:21 God was just after you, He was after you. 04:25 That is the part that is really funny, 04:28 do you remember Stan? Stan worked on me for what, 04:31 five years. - Pastor in the Napa church. 04:36 You should be baptized and Blah, blah, blah and finally it 04:41 never happened with Stan. 04:43 It was finally at a Revelation seminar at the 04:46 Cloverdale church later on that I finally chose 04:48 to become an Adventist. 04:50 The path that God has walked me through and the things that 04:53 He has shown both me and you have been nothing short of 04:57 miracles along the way, so that part is interesting. 05:00 I think what is really exciting for me is starting to 05:03 understand what God intends for me as the man of the family. 05:09 As the head of the household. - spiritual leader! 05:11 - spiritual leader, yeah and understanding what that 05:14 really is and what He is expecting. 05:16 As I take that mantle on an assume that place is what 05:20 happens to everything underneath me including what 05:25 happens to my relationship with you and that you wind up 05:28 starting to get what you always hoped for. 05:30 What is really crazy is that I start getting everything 05:32 I wanted too. 05:34 What do you mean by that? That is a huge statement. 05:37 I know for me that after years of being married to 05:41 somebody that wasn't into any kind of spirituality, wasn't 05:44 into any of that stuff that I thought I'm going 05:48 to get that healing in my life with love and trust and 05:51 those kind of things when God comes back. 05:54 When we are in heaven, I'm not going to experience that 05:58 on earth and I was really resigned to that. 06:00 Then on this planet I am never going to fully heal in 06:04 that area, and all of a sudden God is teaching us 06:09 something different. - something different. 06:11 - Tell them about when we went to the couple's, one of the 06:17 first things we did when you come around spiritually. 06:20 We went to a couple's retreat. 06:23 He was like six couples, maybe not even that, 06:25 four couples, we spent the weekend together. 06:28 The jest of this was starting to understand God's intent 06:34 in the man and woman's role. 06:36 The different things that can happen in relationship to 06:38 that, and probably one of the big things when the man doesn't 06:42 stand up and assume that role is what takes place, how 06:45 entire families in generations are left unprotected. 06:48 You don't have the covering of God, you don't have that 06:51 umbrella protection and it is a funny thing. 06:54 We've all see situations, well what was the matter with 06:58 that kid, his dad messed up and the kid in that whole 07:02 family is just a mess. 07:03 You start to understand if there isn't a leader at the top 07:08 at the head of the household, they are unprotected. 07:12 - you are talking about a leader that is praying for them, 07:14 covering them, teaching them right or wrong. 07:18 Who God is and what the home is about. 07:21 - Exactly, and so this retreat we were on explored that 07:26 area and allowed us to open up some doors and take 07:29 a look at some of the things I had. 07:32 I found out later on not spiritually protected then I had 07:38 a father and a mother who cared and loved. 07:39 I was starting to understand that at least in that area 07:43 I had some covering and that was something you didn't have. 07:47 Starting to understand what that was, and what is really 07:50 cool is that God allows us to come back in and reclaim 07:52 territory that has been lost, we'll talk about that 07:55 a little more in a while. 07:56 It was be able to start to step up and understand what you were 08:00 expecting from me and to take that role. 08:02 I remember praying for you and asking for forgiveness 08:06 both for my participation. 08:09 - Women are not going to hear the whole story, he ended up 08:12 that he totally got it, that as a man of God I don't know 08:16 if I've ever prayed for you. 08:17 I don't know if I have ever, and all of a sudden we are 08:20 in with these other men and women and other couples and 08:23 Brad looks up with his eyes full of tears and walks over 08:26 and gets on his knees in front of me, and he says will you 08:31 please forgive me? I just wanted to fall and say I don't 08:35 know if anyone realizes it, but for a woman who is damaged 08:39 for a man to come up and say, I'm sorry for the lack. 08:43 Then he prayed and everybody was in tears. 08:47 Then he said I know there has been a lot of men in your 08:51 life that have wounded you and even your family who are 08:55 not here to say they are sorry so will you allow me to 08:58 ask you on their behalf? 09:01 Please forgive me and please forgive them. 09:03 I just looked at him and had no idea Brad, at that moment, 09:08 how much I needed that. 09:10 I had no idea that there was all this protection from 09:14 years and years of abuse and sadness that I needed 09:17 somebody, a man in my life to say I'm sorry. 09:21 I looked at you just felt the Holy Spirit bringing 09:26 healing, and it was unbelievable. 09:28 I watched the healing in your life. 09:30 It has really been a cool adventure, that was in December, 09:34 almost 2 years ago. 09:36 Then baby steps, like I said I'm a slow learner. 09:41 Talk about slow learners, he was real excited one day 09:45 and saying Cheri faith is important, and I don't remember, 09:50 Faith is important to just know that God is going to be 09:54 there like when Moses got out of the boat and walk across 09:57 the water to Jesus. 09:59 I was like, that wasn't Moses hon, I don't think it was 10:03 Moses, no that was Peter. 10:04 It is funny because he gets all the stories right 10:06 but all the names wrong. 10:08 I'm good, I'm learning, I'm learning, 10:10 it's okay so it was really fun. 10:12 This is one of the things that, again early on in our 10:15 relationship it was like you said God told you, God is 10:18 not talking to me, I don't hear anything. 10:22 - I don't even know what that means. 10:23 - I don't even know what that means and stuff so it 10:26 took me a while to start to understand, okay maybe I am 10:29 not tuned in to the right channel, that may be part of it. 10:32 When you start clearing the cobwebs off the antenna and 10:36 maybe you will start to hear stuff. 10:37 - tell them about the golf ball! 10:39 I've got another story to tell. - well alright. 10:43 I'm just the wife. 10:45 So then the following spring comes up and there is a 10:50 men's retreat at our church. 10:52 I had never been to a Christian men's retreat at all. 10:56 So I went up there and it was like okay, I'm trying to 10:59 listen and hear more, God I want You to tell me about 11:03 my relationship with my wife. 11:04 I'm going to this men's retreat to learn more because 11:07 I want to do better, I want to be better at all of this. 11:10 The speakers are up there and telling really great 11:14 testimonies and stuff, and I'm sitting there going okay, 11:17 yeah, but that wasn't it, that wasn't it. 11:21 So we went on a little break and I came back in and my 11:24 friend Jack was there, some thing happened with Jack 11:27 that he almost did not make it. 11:29 So I casually asked the question, hey Jack, what 11:31 happened that you didn't get here? 11:33 He started talking, and as crazy as it sounds, 11:36 he mentioned one thing and it was just a phrase. 11:38 He said I'm trying to do this and that and it is really 11:41 a challenge to be the iron fist in a velvet glove. 11:46 All of a sudden it was like wham, that was it, 11:50 the message I needed to hear. 11:52 The iron fist from the standpoint of this thing... 11:55 - how do you lead, gently. 11:58 Stand up and be the leader and the man of God you are 12:02 supposed to be, but care for and nurture and chase after 12:07 the heart of the beauty, chase after the heart of 12:09 the woman you love and all of a sudden it was like 12:11 Man, that was it. 12:13 I walked outside. - I just want you to repeat that 12:17 again for people that, women all over the world when 12:21 you said that, for a man to chase after the heart 12:24 of a woman whom they love is that most women 12:27 would die for that. 12:28 But for you to get that, that is my position as her lover, 12:35 her husband to win her heart everyday. - every day. 12:39 Talk more about that. 12:43 and I want to take notes. 12:47 I think it's really, really, like getting stood up on 12:51 your head, or getting turned upside down when you start 12:54 to understand that is one of those things where we tend 12:58 to go through life thinking I want this for my spouse and 13:02 boy I sure hope I get treated like this and those things. 13:08 All of a sudden it became really apparent like opposite 13:12 day, backwards day, if I give you that, if I try to do 13:16 that for you the next thing you know is that stuff starts 13:20 coming back and is reflected back to you. 13:24 - in huge ways. - in huge ways, in tenfold returns. 13:28 Starting to understand that when you go to ask a question 13:33 or look for something, where do you find those answers? 13:38 So you have been looking at me for stuff that I didn't 13:42 know I was suppose to provide. 13:45 So therefore I wasn't really providing it, but once I 13:49 started to, suddenly you were getting what you wanted. 13:53 It really changed things around. 13:57 - what was really interesting to me, and I didn't 13:59 really realize the lack, I have to tell you that Brad. 14:02 I did not realize how much I needed you to win my heart 14:05 everyday, and when you started doing than in little 14:08 things I would turn around to do something and you would 14:12 say can I pray for you before you do that? 14:14 Or I am going to go in and make something to eat, 14:17 and just little things trying to win my heart. 14:20 All of a sudden I wanted to do everything for you. 14:23 I wanted to make sure that you knew that you were the 14:26 love of my life, I wanted to make sure that you knew that 14:30 I wanted you to stand up and be strong as a man of God, 14:34 and know who you are, and hear the voice of God. 14:36 Everything I just wanted to pour into you and it was just 14:40 simple things, but I think as you got it, what was 14:43 amazing to me, was the healing that happened in my life. 14:46 We were seeing someone, one of the pastors we saw that 14:49 said, I believe, this is an incredible thing. 14:53 I've done a lot of healing through recovery, but the 14:57 pastors said, Brad, I think those very deep wounds in 15:00 Cheri's life about not being loved or fully trusting 15:03 someone, I believe God saved all that healing for you. 15:07 To heal with you. 15:09 When I realized that I thought that is so true. 15:13 I just started to cry and you literally were in tears. 15:17 - it has been, it has really been cool and I know you 15:21 will be okay with me saying this. 15:23 - well I don't know. 15:25 We'll find out. - will find out real soon. 15:27 I was sitting there, I don't remember how many years 15:31 ago this was, maybe five years ago. 15:33 We have been together at that point 15 or 16 years looking 15:38 at it and Cheri someday I'm hoping you really actually 15:41 love me and actually trust me. - and let me love you. 15:45 - let me love you. 15:46 Your response was well I'm still here. 15:51 - Not realizing that I didn't know how to do that. 15:54 - that level of trust, but I hadn't put myself in a 15:56 position and I hadn't shown the leadership that 15:59 was deserving of that. 16:01 - isn't that interesting. 16:02 So our friend who was really helpful in looking at a whole 16:06 bunch of things and exploring things and people who are in 16:10 these relationships understand when you get in an argument 16:12 and you wonder why you get upset about that all the time, 16:15 will we get caught up in the event of what happened 16:17 without realizing that there is some kind of underlying 16:20 pain, there is some hurt that I am ignoring and 16:24 don't really understand. 16:26 I see the event but don't understand what is going on. 16:27 It is part of winning the heart thing, it is understanding that. 16:29 - did I just trigger some pain there? 16:32 Yeah what happened here and let's try to figure that out. 16:35 I think one of the most amazing things during these 16:39 sessions that we did with this guy, was one time 16:42 I was talking about it again. 16:43 For you, going into those places where you have some 16:46 really, really deep hurts, and we were praying through 16:51 it and doing this process and physically I felt this big 16:55 ball of darkness, it was hurt and pain and stuff that 17:00 you were giving up. 17:01 It was the craziest thing, I held it in my hands, 17:04 felt it in my hands and I was able to give it up to 17:06 God and have it be out of your life. 17:09 But what was interesting, and I pray that people get to 17:14 experience this, as a woman of God, when your husband or 17:19 spouse, you decided to take on that role, I had been 17:24 walking with that pain for my whole life. 17:26 Not having anyone who would care about it, or even was 17:29 concerned about it, and you looked at me and said I want 17:32 to take it from you, as your husband, as your lover, 17:35 please give it to me and I will give it to God and you 17:38 will never have to sit with this again. 17:40 For whatever reason, because of where you were, 17:43 I believed you and literally in prayer gave it to you. 17:46 In the room you could physically feel that, you could 17:49 physically feel it and I walked out with so much joy 17:54 thinking that is it true that maybe that God wants us 17:58 to heal completely here? 18:00 Not when we get to heaven, not when we get on the other 18:03 side, He wants us to heal full of joy and love 18:07 the people that we are with. 18:08 The only way to do that really is when both people line 18:12 up in the best way that they can in their damage and say, 18:16 God we are Yours. 18:18 - exactly, what was really exciting for me was being in 18:22 place to, and this came to me last night when I was 18:27 thinking okay I had on my radio active suit... 18:30 - full armor of God. - full armor of God so I could 18:33 hang onto this radioactive material and not get hurt. 18:38 Had I not been prepared for that a little bit, 18:40 I would not have been as capable. 18:42 So to take a look at that whole thing and have the 18:46 strength and protection that He offers for that. 18:49 It is really interesting as you grow spiritually, 18:53 I see you really connect with the Holy Spirit and when 18:58 you pray for me it's different. 18:59 Your prayers are for healing, God I want You to help her 19:05 be more confident, and the insecurities of her past 19:08 fall away from her, those things. 19:10 And as you pray, I'm thinking who is this guy. 19:15 It is something, and I'm just talking about for women, 19:19 most women want that their whole life, for men in their 19:23 life to stand up and just take those roles. 19:26 Not to be a leader in a sense that you make all the 19:29 decisions and I would just cow down whenever. 19:32 - right. - Sometimes I feel like that with you, 19:35 I feel so loved that you would never ask me to do 19:38 something that was not in our best interest as a family. 19:43 It is a fun place to be, but I think that we just don't 19:47 know the importance of all that stuff, of a man standing 19:51 up and taking that position of authority in the house. 19:54 I think one of the things that is really interesting to 19:57 look at as a show about recovery, right? 20:03 Were trying to decide well I'm recovering from being 20:05 a spiritual wimp. - and I didn't say that. 20:11 Different things, to look at all that is like... 20:15 - and you, sorry for interrupting but I always do. 20:19 No, you know for the first part of our relationship it 20:24 was like praying with Jackie or me taking any of that stuff, 20:27 all of a sudden, you are literally standing up and 20:30 reclaiming everything that the devil meant to destroy 20:33 our family with for those early years. 20:35 This is the thing that I'm speaking to the guys now, 20:39 you will be amazed at what could happen when you 20:43 start to get dialed in. 20:45 In a couple cases in point, sometimes I think we step 20:49 out in faith and not knowing, we've talked about this, 20:53 I'm coming into the Ministry, what are you going to do? 20:56 - I don't know. - I don't know. 21:02 But I believe that this is what we are supposed to do 21:05 God, everything is happening now because I have sent in 21:07 the box top and got the decoder glasses and am starting 21:10 to understand the word of God and understanding 21:12 He is talking to me. 21:13 - explain to me what you mean by that for people 21:15 who do not know. - Don't know. 21:16 I always thought that, how do you know God is real? 21:19 How do you know He is there, and stuff like that. 21:22 It's the step of faith, the first step is something you 21:27 have to take, it's like you get a cereal box that says 21:31 oh, join our club and see all the cool things in our club, 21:36 well you have to send a box top in to 21:37 get the decoder glasses. 21:39 Once you put them on, suddenly the message is clear 21:43 and you can read it. 21:44 It is like that first step of faith. 21:47 - and the glasses are, the Holy Spirit. 21:49 The Holy Spirit and they are free. 21:50 It's free you don't even have to send in the box top. 21:52 - It is an amazing thing. 21:54 So let me tell you the story about George. 21:56 This was the part that I just wasn't even aware. 21:59 - George is my uncle. 22:01 George is your uncle and he passed not long ago without 22:05 going through all the dynamics, basically your mom called 22:08 up and said you are not welcome to come to the funeral. 22:11 - it's only for family. 22:12 It's only for family, like wait a minute, how does that work? 22:14 But anyway you were incredibly hurt. 22:18 I could see the pain in your eyes and you were incredibly 22:22 hurt and so, like okay, I'm supposed pray. 22:27 It was almost one of those things that are going to do this 22:30 because I know I'm supposed to. 22:31 Not even knowing what is going to happen, but I'm supposed 22:34 to, so I'm going to do it, I accept that role. 22:37 So we prayed, I prayed about it to take the pain, 22:41 to bring some resolution to that. 22:45 - you know for men, men just say things, I don't know. 22:50 It was actually cooler than that. 22:54 I came in and I was so hurt. 22:56 - you were hurt I could see it. 22:58 Literally felt when you came in and looked at me, 23:02 there was nothing that was going to stop you from putting 23:05 your arms around me and just praying until you felt that 23:08 wound and pain lift a little bit. 23:11 It was the coolest thing to realize, because we are still 23:14 pretty new at this, still new with your walk with God. 23:18 And in taking leadership, most of my life when I have had 23:21 a huge pain like that, there was nobody to pick up the 23:24 pieces, not nobody because God is amazing. 23:28 To have a husband, have someone to come in and just hold you 23:32 until you felt a change, that is what you did. 23:35 Your prayer was amazing and then you walked out. 23:38 I walked out and we were in the horse barn working on 23:42 that and you came out two hours later and said my sister 23:45 just sent me an e-mail that the Pastor who was supposed 23:50 to speak at the memorial service backed out and they 23:54 would like you to come down and present. 23:56 So within two hours of putting this prayer up for my woman, 24:00 God comes in, I was stunned, I was just stunned that, 24:04 get out, I'm supposed pray for my family and protect my 24:09 family, and when I do as the man of the family, great 24:14 things are going to happen. 24:15 - but to me I think is that a lot of folks do not 24:19 realize the incredible power behind that position. 24:23 For any of us to be able to pray and God respond, but as 24:28 father, as husband, as elder as whatever, your prayers 24:33 are important, they matter. 24:35 It is not just a token, I'm going to come in and say 24:39 a few good words. 24:40 I think for some of us, we do not realize we open all of 24:43 heaven opens up and pours into your family when 24:46 you pray for them. - exactly! - it's huge. 24:50 That covering is something that is amazing. 24:54 It is something for me where I have had to reclaim, 24:58 my dad passed a year and a half ago at Christmas. 25:02 During the course of cleaning out the basement and other 25:06 things, I learned things about my father I didn't know. 25:10 I honestly didn't know, and also through the stuff we've 25:13 done counseling wise in my exploration and learning more 25:17 about, it's not that we didn't go to church but did we 25:20 really have spiritual covering in our household? 25:22 We did not, we weren't studying the Bible, we weren't praying 25:25 daily, we weren't doing those things, 25:27 we said grace at meals but it is almost like perfunctory 25:31 thing and not a heartfelt stuff where we were asking God 25:34 and the Holy Spirit to lead our lives. 25:37 So in recovering and looking at different things of my 25:40 issues, come on I was a Boy Scout and stuff. 25:43 All of a sudden realizing, a critical spirit, 25:46 foo that was me, judgmental. - arrogant. 25:49 She keeps saying Arrogant, 25:50 Do you want me to put it off? I'll put it out there. 25:55 - what is really interesting even about the arrogance 25:56 is that with your mom, they were the cultured folks in the 26:00 neighborhood they weren't allowed to play with other kids 26:04 because they were actually too goods for the other kids. 26:07 So generationally this kind of arrogance was passed down. 26:12 What to me was amazing is that as you started to grow 26:16 spiritually, God was allowing these things to be fully in 26:19 front of your face so that you could repent and hand it 26:22 over, and I thought I was the only one with issues. 26:25 - Issues, and so you start to understand what is healing, 26:28 healing from what? What do I have to offer? 26:31 If I'm going to seek the heart of my wife, I can't be throwing 26:35 this crazy stuff up there as some kind of filter or screen 26:38 to be looking at you through, it has to be from 26:40 an open and clean heart. 26:42 - can I talk about what kind of things we found? 26:45 - yes. What are you going to say? 26:49 - isn't that scary when you're working with your spouse? 26:52 Some of the things we found in clearing out the house was 26:57 some sexual stuff, some videotapes and realizing as Brad 27:01 and I started to pray about what we were finding, 27:03 is realizing that Brad's father had and sexual addiction 27:07 and he was raised in a fairly sexualized environment 27:10 because of someone else's addiction. 27:12 Then that, with God's help and through this pastor we were 27:16 seeing, it explained a lot of Brad's leaned over the years 27:20 with some sexual stuff and you started to pray and we claimed 27:24 generationally the things that have happened in your 27:27 family and were given to you without even knowing it. 27:30 - I didn't even know it and I think that is one of the 27:32 things that, I'm talking to the guys again right now, this is 27:36 crazy so I will take another step back real quick. 27:39 Okay, I think God is wanting me to work with you in the 27:42 Ministry and you were like there is no way we are doing 27:45 that unless you go get some counseling. 27:46 - Didn't I say that nicer? - no! 27:52 There is no way until you do that, and I'm thinking 27:54 I don't need counseling, I'm fine. 27:56 So it was real interesting and I actually went for a few times. 28:00 She said well it was good I have no idea because I've 28:01 never done counseling and we started constantly together 28:04 with one person and then after the steel fist and the 28:07 velvet glove thing I knew was time to go work with the 28:10 other person who is even probably more dug in, cracking 28:14 stuff open and diving in to see what it is. 28:16 Having said all that, Mr. thought-he-had 28:19 it dialed in really didn't and discovered that I have 28:22 these issues and are things that you do not think about, 28:25 or you think that it is okay to strive for excellence. 28:28 Well yes, but with compassion and caring and not that 28:32 somehow you are better than someone else. 28:33 So men, and don't think that you may not have things going 28:36 on, it might be something you did not even know about. 28:39 I was unaware of the stuff my father, and I have to say 28:42 this, I love my dad and he provided a tremendous 28:46 life for me. Did he get that from his father? 28:49 I think maybe he did and just discovering that 28:52 generational stuff was passed on, we may not even really 28:56 be aware of, or understand where it came from, but by the 28:59 grace of God we have the ability to reclaim that 29:01 territory, to take it back from Satan, to close doors 29:04 and close the access off. 29:06 It was really interesting, as he listed women that he 29:12 had been with, in his life, prior to me, then he asked for 29:16 my forgiveness, just asked for my forgiveness. 29:19 He really even asked God that the women he had 29:22 casually gotten into a relationship with, can you bless 29:25 them, heal them and not let our relationship, 29:28 or our stuff damaged them. 29:30 The whole time saying God to forgive me for everything 29:34 that came into my life because of this casual stuff in my 29:39 sexuality, ask you to heal that and reclaim that for you 29:44 and the damage it has caused. 29:47 The whole time he is doing this, I'm looking at him and 29:51 everything in me is healing, because I'm thinking that he 29:55 is cleaning up closets in his life that have been there 30:00 and left unchecked for years and years and years. 30:02 I wish I could say to men especially, because women we 30:07 just want this kind of healing, but for men especially 30:12 is when you risk doing that, when you risk surrendering that 30:16 to God, when you risk getting into repentance at that level, 30:20 that your family heals leaps and bounds. 30:23 What was really interesting is 30:26 as we start exploring all this was finding out that I 30:31 have two sisters without getting into a lot of specifics, 30:35 they were left unprotected. 30:38 You look at the family, the generational thing is just so 30:42 amazing to me, God talks about the Old Testament in a lot 30:47 of places, in Deuteronomy particularly. 30:48 It talks about curses or blessings depending on where 30:52 you are going to go and you are going to lead. 30:54 So what I get back to saying to the guys, men you can have 30:57 everything you want, I can't even tell you how amazing. 31:00 We have been together 21 years and I am starting to figure 31:04 it out and I am feeling more love, more caring and more of 31:09 everything from you than I have ever. 31:12 It's just so amazing. - and it is really just beginning. 31:16 - it's just beginning, so then you get back to I want 31:20 this and I want that. 31:21 If you give, if you are willing to make yourself a tiny bit 31:25 vulnerable, that's not right it's not vulnerable, it's just 31:30 open and receptive. - you will allow yourself to heal. 31:33 You will allow yourself to heal exactly, then you are 31:36 going to be amazed at what all will happen and you will 31:39 get to that place where you get whatever you want. 31:42 You can have everything you want if you are willing to 31:44 provide that kind of the leadership, and that kind of 31:47 caring for your family. 31:48 It's pretty incredible, what was really interesting to me 31:51 during this whole time with your particular journey, 31:54 is then asking God what is my passion? 32:00 Who am I? I love when you said, I heard you say to a 32:05 number of people, is that I don't know in my life if I have 32:08 ever been passionate about anything. 32:09 You are a musician and do all this stuff, you do event 32:13 planning, and have worked at the University and playing 32:16 Philharmonic' and all these gigs, but am 32:20 I passionate about anything? 32:24 I was just talking about this with a couple people 32:28 recently and it is one of those things, by God's grace 32:32 I have been gifted with pretty much anything 32:35 I apply myself to do. 32:36 I am capable of doing reasonably well. 32:38 But it is, what am I passionate about? 32:40 What is it that I want, I have to go do this right now, 32:44 or I have to go do that and so it is interesting again to 32:48 walk in and ask God to lead me in that area. 32:51 Trust the Holy Spirit, let Him tell me, show what is going on. 32:58 What is really fun, and probably in the past 6 to 8 33:01 months she will come back and tell me a story about this 33:04 happened to this person and the next thing I know, it's like 33:06 I think I have something in my eye. 33:11 I might need a tissue. 33:12 - we are in prison ministries. 33:14 - We have people coming back saying I didn't think I was 33:17 going to make it in life period and I heard you talk and 33:20 said something, you know I think I have a chance. 33:24 Suddenly to realized offer someone a glimmer of hope, 33:28 to offer someone a chance to make a difference, or to 33:31 offer someone just a difference in their life. 33:34 When you start to realize that this is the most 33:37 amazing thing in the world. 33:39 Because we all go do our thing and go through the motions 33:41 of being alive, doing our stuff, but what do you really have? 33:44 Do you have somebody who really loves you, can you really 33:46 love someone else? 33:48 What does that mean? Is it real? 33:49 To be able to offer someone, this is crazy because 33:54 I am working in the office now right? 33:56 So you better start answering the phone. 34:00 - I don't know if what he thinks working in the office means? 34:03 - hello Two Step ministries, is Cheri there? No! 34:06 Because she is usually not home. 34:07 But he use to answer the phone, someone would call and 34:12 immediately they would go into their stuff. 34:14 You know my husband is leaving, or my son is strung out 34:17 on drugs, and Brad would say, I'd hear him in the other 34:20 room, I'm just the husband. 34:24 But now he doesn't say that. 34:28 It was really fun to have a woman call and she's 77 years 34:34 old, I'm just trying to find myself. 34:37 I thought whoa, and it is even fun to watch because when 34:43 you started the Ministry and we were looking at all the 34:47 different mission statements, about teens, we're working 34:52 with teens, and here's a 77-year-old woman that we are 34:56 able to consult with on the phone, to steer and guide 35:00 a little bit, so here I am a guy who is just 35:05 starting to figure it out, 35:06 but able to share with someone and offer a glimmer of hope. 35:10 That's just amazing. - it's just to say that a lot of people 35:13 know my family, and know where I came from. 35:15 I love my family but they have their challenges. 35:19 You got to pray with my father before he died. 35:23 You wouldn't have done that, had you not come to this place 35:27 in your spiritual walk, I want you to talk about what that 35:30 experience was like for you. 35:31 They thought you were a priest, is a Brad a priest? 35:36 That is what they kept asking me. 35:37 For the frail human race. 35:40 That was one of those things where are walked out really 35:44 stunned, that was maybe 2 1/2 years ago now, or 3 35:47 years ago that that happened. 35:49 - Start with the devotion. 35:51 The thing about that, which was interesting, the whole 35:55 thing with the Ministry of food, which I love to cook. 35:59 It was going down and walking into this, I think you may 36:02 have told the story here, but the dysfunction of that 36:05 environment and they are trying to cook food. 36:06 You walk in, and this meat is rotten because 36:08 I can tell by it by the smell. 36:10 Going to the store and deciding to make tacos. 36:13 - let me just set this up for you for a little bit. 36:16 My father is dying, we flew in a day or so left in his life. 36:22 My family has never let me pray with them. 36:25 Even when my sister was on life support, they barred me 36:28 from the room, it's like we do not believe in that and 36:32 we don't want that, and Brad asked if he could come and 36:35 pray for my father before he died. 36:37 I said he doesn't even want that, they actually barred me 36:41 from the room, they don't want us to bring that in. 36:44 Brad did a study on David and Jonathan, a devotion. 36:48 Do you want to talk about that? 36:50 That's right, and thank you because I didn't remember 36:52 the whole story. - I'm not going to say that guys name. 36:55 I'm not going to say that guys name either. - go ahead. 36:58 In fact you even said I'm not sure you should come. 37:01 - because it was just ridiculous come right now, 37:03 they are not that interested. 37:04 Yes, they are not that interested and I had just read 37:07 a story about Jonathan's son and David seeking out 37:10 Jonathan's son his relative, and bringing him back to 37:13 the Kings table and having him eat the Kings food. 37:16 - someone was really concerned during that story, 37:19 because David is bringing the relative back to the Kings 37:22 table, but they said he is deformed. 37:24 In those days that was an abomination to God. 37:30 His deformity was a curse and David said, bring him anyway. 37:34 Brad took him out of the room and said I believe that 37:37 God is asking me to ask your father to come back to the 37:40 table, to come back to Christ. 37:44 I'm looking at him like, I'm stressed, my dad is dying. 37:47 - she doesn't totally believe in me yet because 37:49 I haven't walked very far with this. 37:51 - he is just new but at this time he is so new that 37:55 he is praying for everybody. 37:56 You can't walk by him without his putting his hand on you, 38:00 do you want prayer, can I pray for anything? 38:02 So for him to now say, can I fly out and see your family. 38:06 So we go out in the food thing was really cool, but the 38:09 important part is that I walked in and Mac is laying on 38:12 the bed and I walked in and said, can I pray for you? 38:14 He was like, absolutely. 38:16 So we prayed, you could just see it in his eyes that he 38:23 got it and prayed for God to be with him, and he got it. 38:29 I stepped up and he just looks at me and goes bye. 38:32 To know that that was it. 38:34 I'm just going to say to you again, I love you for doing 38:39 that, I love you for that. 38:41 Out of every one, even myself, nobody would have walked 38:46 in the room and asked that. 38:48 The person that would do that is you, if you hadn't 38:53 gotten it, nobody would have asked him that. 38:55 Do you understand I mean? 38:56 It was your place in our family, as one of the men of God, 39:00 to walk in and bring him back to Christ. 39:03 I just wanted to say, I just love you. 39:05 We are going to open things up for questioning. 39:07 I know the people have some questions here. 39:10 Patrice do you have any questions? 39:12 I'm Patrice from Lansdale Pennsylvania and I have to say 39:16 it's such an honor to be here. 39:18 If people could be here to feel the atmosphere of the 39:21 Holy Spirit, it is in here heavy. 39:23 I have to say the amazing connection that you and your 39:28 husband have, and the journey you have been on. 39:31 The love I see between the two of you is, 39:33 just once again, it's amazing. 39:35 God really does wondrous things. - He wants us to be healed. 39:40 He wants us to be healed and I think it was something you 39:45 said about a minister saying that Brad was sent to be 39:49 a key tool, the key element to bring closure and healing 39:53 finally for so many things that happened in your past. 39:58 Our paths are somewhat similar, but my question is really 40:03 to Brad, when you are feeling the call to be that 40:08 spiritual leader and you look at how things have 40:12 transpired in the past and early stages of the 40:16 relationship as it is maturing, 40:18 isn't there still a fear like you want to step out, 40:20 but you are so afraid of what God is going to do, 40:24 but excited at the same time, with the possibility of 40:27 what He is going to do? 40:28 That is a great question to ask. 40:30 For myself personally the excitement part I am okay with, 40:34 because I am an adrenaline junkie and I like doing things 40:38 that amp me up, I ski off cliffs, and play trumpets 40:43 is an exciting thing. 40:44 The fear part is really in the honoring concept of hearing 40:51 God, but there is an unknown element there. 40:54 Absolutely like walking into the ministry, 40:56 what are you going to do? 40:57 I don't know what I'm going to do. 40:59 But I'm going to pray every morning for God to fill me 41:00 with the Holy Spirit and direct me. 41:02 That spiritual leadership I am still just starting to 41:06 explore that and having some revelations about the amazing 41:10 authority that is given to me when I do choose to 41:13 exercise that, which I am trying to do every day. 41:16 It is an unknown and there is some scariness there, 41:19 but it is a cool kind of scariness that is amazing. 41:22 - what is fun to about the Holy Spirit, 41:24 is the Holy Spirit is the same for each of us. 41:26 We will be working alongside people that have theology 41:30 degrees and a biblically can be right on with every page. 41:34 Brad is not there yet, but he has the Holy Spirit so in 41:39 him that when he prays for people when we are at a camp 41:43 meeting or whatever, I watch God's hand just on them. 41:47 So I'm trusting the Holy Spirit is the Holy Spirit, 41:52 it really is Him that is doing the work and leading you. 41:55 Which is amazing. 41:57 Any more questions? Garland, go ahead. 42:00 Garland Blanton and I am locally here at 3ABN. 42:04 I would just like to make a comment that I thank God for 42:07 bringing me here this morning, I wasn't planning on being 42:12 here to hear Brad and giving me some ideas knowing that I 42:17 have not been there, where I should be here in some 42:24 instances with my wife and family. 42:26 I just appreciate these wonderful people, and what God 42:31 has done with them, and how He has brought them together. 42:35 I thank them for being here. 42:40 That is incredible and Brad I really believe that a lot 42:43 of men, when they hear you speak in their heart know they can 42:49 stand up for their family in a way that is more healing. 42:55 I see that when we go out and speak. 42:59 Remember when we did the camp meeting and we prayed for 43:02 four hours for couples. 43:04 We prayed until 1:30 to 2 in the morning. 43:07 Just for couples that really want that kind of healing 43:09 in their life and I watched you respond to the men 43:12 and giving them courage to have it all, take it all. 43:16 I think one of the things, for guys, get caught up in, 43:21 I do not want to lose my manliness by becoming someone 43:26 who cares, it is actually the other way around. 43:32 It really is one of those things where like sports, 43:36 I'm aggressive, into building and making things I do all 43:40 these manly things, but what I get by becoming caring 43:44 is so much more, you become more of a man really. 43:48 - it's interesting the feeling I get, all of a sudden 43:52 we will be doing something off field hurt, or injured some way, 43:55 and you will stop and say how did you to take that? 43:59 Is your heart okay with that? I just melt! 44:03 I just want to kiss you on the face, I don't care what 44:06 just happened so it is really such a masculine thing to do. 44:12 But I think society has told us that. 44:14 Any more questions? Caroline go ahead. 44:17 My name is Caroline, I had a conversation with a friend 44:21 on face book about love and the definition of love and 44:24 all kinds of things like that. 44:25 Because I was saying that love should not be a 44:29 battlefield, true love, when you have mutual love both 44:35 parties love each other very much, 44:36 but it shouldn't be a battlefield. 44:38 There shouldn't be any strife, it shouldn't be hard to 44:41 love somebody, and here you are saying well yeah but, 44:44 there is always going to be conflict in a relationship. 44:48 I was wondering should we start practicing in 44:54 relationships like with other people, 44:58 your parents and everything. 45:00 At a younger age so we are ready and prepared to deal with 45:05 everybody else's emotions in that kind of a relationship? 45:09 Oh man, that is a great question and I am impressed to 45:13 have a question come from someone of your age like that. 45:17 It shows tremendous maturity. 45:18 - they're talking about taking care people hearts earlier 45:22 outside of relationships. 45:23 Absolutely, we talked before that we focus on the event 45:28 and not understanding what caused a person to react to 45:31 that event and finding out what that underlying cause is. 45:34 What was it that happened in your life that may have caused 45:37 you to react to those things. 45:39 To explore that early on, what an amazing gift that would be, 45:44 - in your friend's life - you are going to find, 45:46 we're getting so much better. 45:48 Just the other day we were talking and you said something 45:50 to me and I reacted, you stopped and looked at me. 45:52 It was okay, you got mad at me, did I hurt your feelings? 45:57 What did you hear and you start to explore that, 46:01 that is not in my mind, our imaginations run wild. 46:04 We are very creative people, right? 46:05 So someone says x and you hear W, Z, Q and you react based on 46:10 what you heard and the person was like I did not mean that 46:15 at all, so yes, start practicing those skills. 46:19 I know that you like swimming, right? 46:23 You are good at swimming, but if you want to get better 46:26 you do have to work at it. 46:28 - and it's going to be hard at times. 46:29 It's going to be hard, they are going to show you do 46:32 something, the grab and pull, the grab and pull, 46:34 I don't know if you know that exercise, but were you, 46:37 this arm doesn't even come out of the water and you are 46:40 yanking that one over. 46:41 It is awkward and it feels uncomfortable to do it, 46:43 but I am going to be a better swimmer if I do. 46:46 In relationships, when you love somebody you are willing 46:49 to put some time and some effort into it because you love 46:52 them and you know that you're going to get something back. 46:55 And just for me to you, you need to. 47:01 You know Brad, we have covered a lot of things as far as 47:05 in relationships, we covered a lot of things as far 47:07 as your spiritual growth. 47:08 I'm just trying to think of something else. 47:12 When we first started to get into this whole relationship 47:17 thing, you said you didn't hear the voice of God. 47:19 For people who do not know what that means, I know you 47:21 are hearing God speak to you now everyday. 47:23 Can you talk a little bit about when you opened yourself 47:27 up to having God speak to you, not only you speaking to Him? 47:31 I think this is one of the things for me that has been 47:37 exciting to understand that for some people, and I keep 47:41 waiting for the Brad thing coming down from above. 47:45 I want you to turn left now. 47:47 That kind of thing. - I would love that. 47:51 But He will speak to you and show you and the Holy Spirit 47:54 will talking to you all the time. 47:56 We joke about this and you may have told the story, 47:59 but people say how do you know God is talking to you? 48:01 That He cares about you? 48:02 He gives me great parking places all the time. 48:05 Every time He does, I come to expect it because He tells 48:10 you, expect Me to bless you. 48:13 - Your ultimate relationship is God. - it's with God. 48:16 That is one of the things you and I have talked about this, 48:18 it is why we are doing so well is because our first 48:21 commitment has been to God. 48:25 Your arms are too short to box with God so don't even give 48:29 it a try, that part for us has been a really key thing. 48:32 When you are open to that, you will find He is doing 48:35 miracles and things in your life all the time, constantly. 48:40 So it is cleaning the cobwebs off the antenna, and spin it 48:46 around a little, and tune it in and see what happens. 48:48 I want to tell you Brad, thank you so much for being on 48:51 the program, thank you for being in my life, and thank you 48:54 for standing up as a man of God. 48:56 Not only in our family, for our family and our children, 48:59 but for the church I see a difference in the church that 49:02 we belong to, when you walk in there is a difference. 49:05 I think in your commitment you are encouraging men to 49:08 stand up and take care of the people that they love. 49:11 I watch the men around you in your circle all of a sudden 49:15 standing up and saying I think I want my wife to be all 49:19 over me like Cheri, because I literally want 49:23 you to have everything. 49:25 So I want to say thank you for being on the program, 49:27 I would kiss you, but! - I love you baby! 49:29 We will be right back, stay with us. 49:32 I have been blessed by this program but I have a few more 49:35 things to say about it. 49:36 So hang in there. |
Revised 2014-12-17