Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Reginald & Marquand Buchanan
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00077A
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00:11 Welcome to Celebrating Life In Recovery,
00:12 I'm Cheri your host. 00:14 It matters what we decide, either generational blessings 00:17 or generational cursing's and we are going to look at 00:20 that today in this one incredible family. 00:22 So join us in the café and it will be fun. 00:52 Welcome back, so we are talking about generational 00:56 curses or blessings and it is really interesting, 01:00 I looked in Deuteronomy and it talked about 01:02 the decisions of someone. 01:04 Whether it is an addict, or someone who is out to lunch 01:08 as far as anger, or rage, or addictions of any kind, 01:11 is that they literally can bring this whole thing into their 01:14 life, into their families life, and their children bring 01:17 it into their children's life and it is just this curse 01:20 that happens, and sometimes it happens for the Bible 01:23 sometimes talks about two or three generations. 01:26 There are some places where talks about 10 or 20 01:29 generations, but what you do right now will lay out this 01:33 whole thing for your family. 01:34 So I'm going to introduce you to a family, or a man that 01:38 decided to change all that. 01:40 I love that about you Reginald, I want to say thank you 01:43 so much for being on the program. 01:45 I loved when I was in Arkansas doing some prison 01:48 ministries and I met you and your family and worked with 01:52 some of the people that you do prison ministries with. 01:55 So I want to say thanks for coming on, thanks for sharing 01:58 your testimony, and I would just say let's start and talk 02:02 about where you come from and how you got to where 02:06 you're at right now. 02:07 Well Cheri I came from a very broken home. 02:11 It was just my mom and my dad, he was never there. 02:17 She did eventually marry, but my stepdad he was a very 02:24 heavy drinker as well and both of them drank. 02:26 So your biological dad was just gone? 02:30 He was just gone. - he never hung out? 02:33 No, if anything I always longed for that relationship 02:36 with him but I never had it. 02:39 There were times where I actually communicated with him, 02:43 but he didn't show any interest in me, yeah! 02:48 You felt that really young, you felt this guy really 02:51 doesn't care. - yes! 02:53 When I say that I think that there is a part of me that 02:58 understands, a child works really hard to get something, 03:01 give me something and when you get nothing you know that. 03:05 - yes exactly! 03:07 So your step dad was a drinker? 03:09 Yes and heavy drinker, and him and my mom were always 03:12 fussing and fighting stuff like that. 03:15 So I found a big retreat by going out in the backyard 03:18 and playing all by myself. 03:20 So that was your childhood? - yes, that was my childhood. 03:25 Just coming up, one thing about it there was a sweet old 03:30 Lady that my mom worked for and she would always take 03:35 time out and carry us to church. 03:37 My mom, she would drink all night long and stuff like 03:41 that, so she wasn't able to take us to church. 03:45 She would have a hangover or something like that. 03:49 This is the old lady say can I take the kids to church? 03:53 - so excuse me while I just tell someone in the 03:56 audience, you know what, did you hear that? 03:58 I love that because that happen with my sisters too. 04:01 Somebody came and picked them up, just said let me take the 04:06 kids, I'm not going to hassle you, you don't have to 04:08 worry about it, I'll take them and bring them back. 04:10 I will make sure they eat, and you had someone do that 04:13 for you and so I have to say God bless her. 04:16 It probably didn't make a difference right away. 04:20 Well right away I felt, it was a good experience going 04:24 to church, there were some people there that cared, 04:30 but coming back to the home and I didn't see this being 04:36 lived out in the home. 04:37 It was very hard for me, I was getting a good feeling in 04:41 church and meeting great people, but when I come home it 04:45 was the same fussing and fighting and drinking. 04:50 - did you jump into drinking, did you do all that? 04:53 Well one thing about it, not off the bat. 04:57 There was a time when I would bring things home from 05:01 school to present my mom about her drinking, that 05:05 drinking was bad for your health and stuff like that. 05:09 It was very convicting to her and she would just say, 05:13 she would get sad and walk off or something like that. 05:16 Not right off. - like mom don't smoke don't drink, 05:20 don't do any of that stuff. - exactly! 05:23 I would bring literature from school to her. 05:26 Did you believe if she stopped drinking you have a mom? 05:29 Deep down inside that is what I believe. 05:32 Sometimes I think people think that you did that to get 05:35 her health back, a lot of times for kids from abuse, 05:37 because my parents were addicts and I knew she could just 05:40 stop she could love me. 05:42 I don't think it was all about health, it was just the 05:45 relationship that I wanted, yeah. 05:48 To this day I still want that, it stays with us, 05:53 it really stays with us. 05:55 So then what happened? 05:57 Like I said later in my life I wasn't drinking right off, 06:02 I started a roundabout high school. 06:05 I was against drinking and all that, drugs all that but 06:10 in high school it seemed like the very things I was against 06:14 I started to become attracted to it. 06:17 I didn't understand it, yeah I started drinking in high 06:22 school and I tried marijuana and that's when things started 06:26 to spin out of control. 06:28 Right, because you fit in with the group? 06:30 Well, I guess I wanted to fit in. 06:34 - for a lot of people, they do not understand the 06:37 draw of that, it is not necessarily to draw on the 06:40 drugs, in fact you are repulsed at the drugs at first, 06:42 but I want to fit in somewhere. 06:44 I want to belong to something. - that is right! 06:46 So you ended up fitting in? 06:49 Yes, I'm fitting in very good, I was doing a whole 06:53 lot of things, actually I was getting drunk and passing out. 06:58 Everybody would laugh and I just felt accepted. 07:05 So how but any law stuff, did you get in trouble with 07:08 the law or any of that? Did you get to finish school? 07:11 Most the time drugs and alcohol interfere with all that. 07:16 Well I actually dropped out for while and then my mom 07:20 she gave me a little pep talk and stuff like that. 07:23 She was like you should finish school, stuff like that. 07:27 So I got back in and finished for her sake, you know. 07:30 But getting in trouble with the law and stuff like that 07:34 came later because when I was introduced to drugs, 07:39 I was also longing for that father figure. 07:44 I wanted to belong to something, I wanted that father 07:47 figure and later on in my life... 07:50 - there is an incredible emptiness when you don't have 07:55 that, even as is interesting to me is there is not enough 07:59 drugs to cover-up for that stuff. 08:02 I think that is why God counsels so much in the Bible 08:05 to take care of your kids, love them and don't provoke 08:09 them, and I think He does that because when we get empty, 08:13 in those places, we're empty. 08:15 - that is a right, exactly! 08:17 I was very empty and I didn't know this was going to take 08:21 a toll on me, but I really wanted that relationship, 08:24 is specially with him, with my father. 08:28 My mom was there and she did a whole lot of things for 08:31 me, but that relationship with him, I wanted that. 08:35 You would see kids even at school come up with both of 08:38 their parents and stuff like that and I would sit there 08:41 and stare, I wanted that relationship with my father. 08:46 - so did you ever find with people that were using, 08:50 did you ever find that father figure there? 08:53 Well, not with that, it was a different group that I found 08:57 the father figure, yeah and that was a gang. 09:01 You know I love when you said that Reginald because a 09:05 lot people don't realize that a gang becomes a family. 09:09 It is not that you are just acting out, drinking, or using, 09:12 or selling our what ever, this is my family. 09:14 This is where I fit and then you start defending them 09:17 as much as you would defend your family. 09:19 So talk about what that was like for you? 09:22 Well when I got introduced to this gang, this gang was 09:27 called The Crypt gang. 09:29 It was all having fun, going out and committing crimes, 09:35 we started off bursting windows out of cars just for the 09:40 fun of it, we will go down to where there may be having 09:43 a show somewhere, or something like that where there was 09:46 a lot of cars parked and we would go out there and just 09:49 break windows and stuff like that. 09:50 That was fun, we would run off. 09:52 The guys that were in this gang they would surround you, 09:56 they will put their arms around me and welcome me in. 10:01 You had been looking for that your whole life? 10:04 My whole life. - people do not get a sense of that, do they? 10:07 My whole life I've been looking for someone 10:09 to say I am glad you are here. 10:11 You don't have to play in the backyard by yourself 10:13 anymore, you don't have to be alone anymore, 10:15 we want you here. - exactly! 10:18 All my life that was what I was looking for, and it seem 10:22 like I finally found love, what I thought was love. 10:25 - isn't that crazy? And the worst thing you can do, 10:28 it is better for them. 10:29 If I could bust out all these windows, if I could do 10:32 whatever, everybody is laughing. 10:34 All that anger, all at hurt and stuff, every time you 10:37 break a window and hear that glass shatter it feels good. 10:41 Yes, it felt good, and it didn't, like I say 10:45 it escalated, it went from breaking windows to actually 10:49 starting fights and fighting and stuff like that. 10:50 - a serious fighting? - yeah we would pick fights, 10:54 we would go to the movies just to pick fights. 10:57 We would see couples and would pick fights with the guy. 11:03 Just for the fun of it, yeah. 11:08 That is where for you, if you don't do that you are 11:12 not accepted, if you do, you get almost addicted to the 11:16 adrenaline of it, so you really are spinning 11:19 out of control. - yes, and I didn't see it. 11:23 Did anybody at that time try to help? 11:26 Well my mom, she would actually warn me of the 11:31 group I was hanging around. 11:33 At this time she had stopped drinking, yeah she had 11:36 stopped drinking, she had an encounter where she said the 11:40 Lord was speaking to her about the drinking. 11:43 She straightened up, she didn't drink and I didn't see 11:46 her drinking anymore, but she would tell me from time to 11:51 time, Reggie, you need to choose, be very careful of the 11:55 friends that you choose to hang around with. 11:58 By then you are like, don't talk to me about any of that. 12:01 That is where it is really tough, my whole life I have 12:03 been trying to get you to see me and 12:05 now you're going to teach me? 12:06 It is really tough at that point because the people that 12:10 could have spoken to your life you don't give them any 12:14 chance to speak anymore. - not any chance. 12:17 Everything she would say, I would just ignore it. 12:19 If she'd say go left, I will go right, yeah. 12:22 Just because, how dare you. How dare you do it now. 12:26 - just exactly. 12:28 - so what happened because you said at one point the law 12:31 did come into the picture and you started getting in 12:35 trouble in that area. 12:36 Yes, yes there were times where we were actually fighting 12:42 and the police were called out and by that time they've 12:48 would come and take us to jail. 12:50 I have went to jail several times for just fighting, 12:54 out in the open, just street fighting. 12:55 - do you know what's funny about that? 12:57 This is normal people are not going to understand this at all, 12:59 but going to jail in that environment is actually a good 13:03 thing because now you are the guy. 13:06 For a lot of people who do not realize, that is part of 13:12 the whole picture, people will laugh about that later. 13:17 It is no big deal, you are out in no time. 13:19 All my life I wanted to be somebody, all of a sudden now 13:23 I'm somebody, these guys I was hanging around they was, 13:28 oh Man you went to jail, oh man that officer you was 13:32 pushing and shoving on him. 13:34 We would just talk about these things and how we were 13:37 committing crimes and stuff like that and it felt good. 13:40 - because you were somebody! - I was somebody, finally. 13:43 The reason I want you to say that out loud is that 13:49 I think sometimes people need to know that kind of pain, 13:54 where you come from, really grows up into this horrible 13:58 acting out because I just have to be seen, I just have to be 14:02 heard and it is really even tough to jump out of that. 14:07 How do you get out of that because now my only identity 14:12 is that I'm a criminal, a gang member, I'm in your face, 14:16 I could care less about anything, how does God reach 14:20 someone like that? How did He reach you? 14:22 Well Cheri, my mom she never gave up praying. 14:27 She was praying for me for a long time and I believe she 14:30 knew that she was the cause of some of it. 14:34 She would always pray for me. 14:36 So she had a lot of guilt that she was trying 14:38 to deal with too. - Yes! 14:40 From time to time she would talk to me and tell me that 14:44 she loved me and that I needed to change. 14:46 She was hearing many bad things about me and she was afraid 14:51 I was going to be killed. 14:52 So that actually started sinking in a little bit, 14:57 I didn't want to die or anything like that. 15:00 I started thinking about some of the things 15:04 she was saying, yeah, yeah. 15:06 It just started to get to you? 15:08 - yeah, it was getting to me heavy. 15:11 Then what happened? 15:12 After that I think one night, I would always get in 15:17 trouble as I got older, when I get in trouble or 15:21 something like that I would lose everything, 15:25 my mom would always welcome me back home to help me 15:29 out and start all over again. 15:31 She didn't say you're not coming back to this house, 15:34 in fact she said the opposite, please come back. 15:37 She said that and I came back home, but I was so full 15:43 of rage, one night there was a fight, I got into a fight 15:48 right in front of my mom's yard with this guy. 15:52 She seen right then, Reggie you need to change. 15:56 Me and this guy got into an altercation in I was so in a 15:59 rage that she couldn't calm me down and stuff like that. 16:02 When people say, in a rage or a fight, 16:06 those are almost life and death fights. 16:10 When you are in a gang situation, all the boundaries of 16:14 what you would have normally done, are gone. 16:17 If I had to take you out, I will take you out. 16:19 Yeah, that's exactly... - what she saw. 16:21 What I was trying to do that guy that night, 16:23 I was trying to take him out right there in her yard. 16:26 If I had had some weapon or something like that, 16:30 I very well would have taken him out. 16:32 She actually came between us and told me, look you're 16:36 going to have to change, you're going to have change 16:40 your life and it didn't stop right there. 16:43 I did not listen right then, but that was another time 16:46 out there, maybe two weeks later. 16:49 Where I was actually fussing with a girlfriend of mine. 16:54 I was fussing and we got to a point where it got 16:58 physical right in her house. 17:01 My mom said enough is enough, so she called the 17:05 authorities, she called the police. - on you? - yeah. 17:08 - She didn't know what else to do? 17:10 Yeah, exactly. This actually was leading to the turning 17:13 point, because when the police were called I can remember 17:17 saying mom, how can you call the police on your own son? 17:21 She looked at me and said, you know Reggie, my son was 17:24 filled with love at one time, at one time. 17:27 She said I don't know what you have become, then she 17:32 uttered the words Reggie love is the key. 17:35 Love, you know, so. 17:38 Did that get to you? It's such a huge thing. 17:41 At one time my son was filled with love. 17:44 Yes, yes and Cheri. 17:47 - That kid bringing home his health talks to save his 17:51 mother, and she remembers that boy, she's like what 17:54 happened to him. - that is what she was saying. 17:57 So that time, I have been to jail several times, but this 18:01 time was different, even the officer that took me to jail 18:06 with actually ministering to me in such a way. 18:09 So that was strange and odd but that night all I can hear 18:14 is my mom's words, love is the key. 18:17 So I wondered how can I find love? 18:19 I remember back when I was going to church, when I had 18:23 the Steps to Christ at an early age. 18:26 - that old woman was taking you. 18:28 - yeah when that little lady was taking me, 18:30 so I actually got down, I have prayed a few times, 18:35 but this time I wanted to change. 18:38 This time I knew that I was the problem, all the other 18:42 times I would blame the authorities, I would blame 18:46 everybody else except me. 18:48 - I'm innocent. - yeah exactly, that's what I was 18:51 saying, I was innocent. 18:53 But this particular night, when my mom called the police, 18:57 I knew I had a problem, so I got down on my knees and 19:01 actually raised my hands up just like I would when the 19:05 police would come and I would surrender. 19:07 That's what I did, I threw my hands up and said, 19:10 Lord I surrender it to You. 19:12 - the surrendering was to God. 19:14 Yeah, yeah I was surrendering to the Lord. 19:17 A lot of inmates that were there, they were looking 19:20 like what's wrong with this guy? 19:22 You know I had hit rock bottom I was in jail and my mom 19:26 was the one that called so right then and there 19:30 I asked the Lord, could you please change me 19:33 and come into my heart. 19:35 So for people, that place, even in my own life that was 19:39 such a holy place to be where you finally say to God, 19:43 what ever it takes I can't do this a minute longer. 19:47 I don't want to breathe a minute longer without You 19:51 taking control, because I can't do it. 19:53 Look what I've done with my life. 19:55 When you did that, did you get a sense, not an audible 19:59 voice or whatever, but did you get a sense that 20:01 God spoke into your life? 20:03 Yeah, He spoke, it is hard to describe exactly the 20:07 speaking, but He spoke to my heart. 20:10 It was like, I'm going to save you, but the thing is 20:14 if you go back out there it can be disastrous, 20:19 it can be death and that was what God was speaking to me. 20:25 So He is sort of telling you to stay in jail? 20:28 You know if you go back into the world and doing the 20:33 things I was doing, yeah. 20:35 - I'm very concrete on thinking He was telling you to 20:37 stay in jail but He's just saying, don't, you're going to 20:40 have to change, major changes. 20:41 You're going to have to make a major change, yeah. 20:46 So when I got out of jail, I knew the Lord was serious 20:50 about what He had spoke to me because that guy that I had 20:54 the altercation with, one day I was out in the yard. 20:59 I had went back and gave my life to Christ and went 21:03 to church and everything and about a week later 21:06 I was struggling with wanting to drink, wanting to go 21:11 and get me a drink. 21:12 I was out in the yard debating on whether I should go 21:15 and get drink or not, Cheri that guy I had an altercation 21:18 with he came up and stopped the car and 21:21 jumped out of the car. 21:22 - ready to fight again? 21:23 Yes, but this time he had a weapon. 21:26 Right then I felt my heart just dropped. 21:31 He just ran up to me and looked me in the eyes and I 21:35 couldn't think of nothing at the time, but the words came 21:39 to me, I just said, look could you just hold for second 21:44 before you do what you came to do. 21:46 I just want to tell you that I'm sorry for the things 21:49 I did, I'm very sorry. 21:51 I said I have accepted the Lord in my life and I am very 21:55 sorry, and it shocked him. 21:59 I saw a tear started coming out of his eyes and he took 22:03 off and ran and jumped in the car. 22:06 Because he knew from the Holy Spirit, he knew that you 22:09 were serious, I'm not playing you, I'm not trying to get 22:11 out of anything, I'm telling you that my life 22:13 is different right now. 22:15 - exactly. - if I could take all this back, 22:17 I would take it all back. - exactly. 22:19 Back to the words that was spoken from the Lord to my 22:23 heart, that if you go back out there, in the world, 22:26 you can die out there. 22:29 Cheri, if I had had a drink or something like that it 22:33 would have been easy for me just to call him any type 22:37 of names. - and he would have pulled the gun and said, 22:40 you're done. - he would just kills me, yeah. 22:43 Instead, instead which is amazing, instead of that your 22:47 life began to really turn. 22:50 Tell us a little bit about what, you ended up back in 22:53 church, you ended up getting baptized, you ended up doing 22:55 all that stuff, what did that look like for you? 22:59 Well actually when I got back in church, like I said, 23:03 - because people knew you too. 23:06 They knew me yeah, there was times when we were, I would 23:09 go out and shop and people would just look and say is 23:12 this the same guy, when I was in a suit, looking like 23:16 this can't be the same guy. 23:18 People would stop me and stare and stuff like that. 23:21 But one thing I want to tell you, that girlfriend that 23:23 I had a fight with, that was my wife. 23:27 - no way! As I know her then, so she hung in there 23:32 through your change? 23:33 - She hung in there, yeah, she actually moved back to 23:35 Orlando and then she came back. 23:38 A phone call we had and I was telling her that I had 23:42 given my life to Christ and she came back. 23:45 So you guys ended up getting married? 23:47 Yeah we ended up getting married. 23:49 We talked about, when I opened the show, we were talking 23:52 about generational curses or blessings. 23:54 You had literally given God permission to come into your 23:59 life, into your children's life, you had how many 24:03 children with her? - 6- 6 children. 24:06 I'm telling you they are amazing, amazing. 24:10 I will go ahead and break, when I come back I want to 24:15 introduce the audience in the café to one of your sons. 24:19 Then at the end of the program I'm going to bring the 24:23 whole family in because I would really love to hear 24:26 from his wife, this change. 24:28 I want you to see what happens when one person decides to 24:32 change, says I am not going to go down that same path. 24:35 I'm not going to do that same life, I'm going to trust 24:39 God that He has a plan for me and Reginald did that. 24:43 It literally brought about a change that is absolutely 24:47 amazing, so I want you to meet his kids and you to see 24:51 the whole family and we'll talk a little bit with 24:53 his wife at the end. 24:54 So stay with us, we'll be right back! |
Revised 2014-12-17