Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Bobbie Hartman, Tammy Hartman, Haylee Staton
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00085A
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00:10 Welcome to Celebrating Life In Recovery
00:12 I'm Cheri your host. 00:13 Has anyone ever said to you Heh buddy, what's your problem? 00:17 Well today that is what we are going to talk about 00:19 is what is your problem and is there anyway you can get 00:22 out from underneath it and walk away? 00:24 Come join us in the café today. 00:54 Welcome, this is a really interesting thing when we talk 00:57 about that if somebody ever came up to you and said to you 01:00 Buddy do you have a problem? 01:02 Most of us don't see our core issues. 01:05 It's really interesting that I can see my major issues 01:09 I can see the issues like I'm a heroine addict, and I was. 01:12 I can see issues if I have anger, or pride, or any of 01:16 that. We can probably see some of those clearly if I'm 01:21 always in someone's face and had that aggression and 01:25 that kind of stuff. 01:26 Some of us, if you can't we will work on that through 01:30 this whole next season. 01:32 But in the stuff we are looking at step four in the 01:35 recovery journey, and in step for it says I'm going to 01:39 take a fearless in the inventory on all my stuff. 01:42 Who I am and what things I actually have to work on. 01:46 I have said this before on the program, I was a heroine 01:49 addict for 10 years, homeless and all that and when 01:52 I got into recovery I had no idea what my issues are. 01:56 Somebody said oh just stop using heroin and I did and 01:59 I was crazy, literally crazy. 02:02 So in taking an inventory we are looking at this one thing. 02:06 I'm going to explain that for most of us we have 02:09 blind spots, areas in our personality, in our character, 02:12 we don't even see. 02:14 Somebody can come up and say, like they did with me when 02:17 I had gotten counseling early on at one point in the 02:20 psychiatrist looked at me, and he was really serious. 02:24 He said, Cheri have you ever looked at any of your anger 02:28 issues? And I said I just don't think I have any. 02:31 He goes oh man, and I remember him just looking at me like 02:36 she is in such denial it is crazy. 02:39 So what we call those in ministry is blind spots. 02:46 We have these blind spots and I will explain in a way that 02:49 might make it a little bit easier to hear. 02:51 Have you ever gone on a journey. 02:54 I'm going to take my car and drive across country and 02:58 I am a fairly good driver. 03:00 But if I'm going to get into the car and drive cross 03:02 country I'm going to really look at other drivers because 03:07 I don't know about you but sometimes there is crazy 03:09 people on the road. 03:11 All of a sudden you can be cut off, somebody going 90 03:13 miles an hour down the highway and I just want to pay 03:16 attention to them. 03:18 Or there will be someone drifting in and out of the lane 03:21 and it is late at night and I know there are probably 03:23 tired and so I'm going to look at them. 03:26 I'm going to look at my own fatigue, am I tired, do I need 03:30 to pull over for a while. 03:31 I'm going to look at any mechanical problems so that 03:33 when I am taking the trip I want to look at all that 03:35 stuff because all of that stuff matters. 03:37 Do I have oil? Do I have enough gas? 03:39 How's my transmission or whatever? How are my tires? 03:43 But there are things that I can't know. 03:47 Like if I'm driving down the road and I look into my side 03:51 window to change lanes, I can pretty much see everything 03:55 but there are blind spots in those mirrors. Right? 03:59 If somebody is in my blind spot I could change lanes 04:02 and push them right off the road and not even see it. 04:05 They could land up in a ditch and I was be still singing 04:08 the same song driving along. 04:09 In a psychological sense we have blind spots. 04:12 We have areas that we just don't see. 04:15 Sometimes we don't see them for years, but they will 04:18 always trip us up in our recovery. 04:20 So if you have blind spots, we are going to really look 04:24 at that this time around. 04:27 Man, if you get this you get your life back. 04:31 If you get this you'll get into recovery. 04:35 But some body says if they are blind spots how do 04:38 I get that? Ask someone, ask anybody you know. 04:41 If I walk up to my husband and say Brad, and my husband 04:45 is here on the set and he can tell you if I walked up to 04:48 him and said Brad, is there anything in my personality 04:52 that I may need to work on that I don't get? 04:55 First of all he looked stunned, like deer in the 04:58 headlights, like I'm not going to touch that one. 05:01 But if I tell him hon, I really want to know, and I 05:04 really want to work on this in recovery he may be 05:07 gentle enough with me and say, Cheri you really are 05:10 hypersensitive and you have rejection issues that 05:13 sometimes getting your way and maybe you would 05:16 like to look at that. 05:17 Or you lie too much, or you exaggerate too much. 05:20 He will show me some of those blind spots, and if I am 05:24 really true in my recovery I will look at them. 05:29 So those blind spots are always, like I said before, 05:33 will trip you up and I don't want you to trip up. 05:38 I don't want to trip up myself so I'm going to tell you 05:41 different ways and I will have different treatments 05:45 areas, different treatment centers, 12 step groups or 05:49 whatever that different people have looked at 05:51 these blind spots differently. 05:54 If I can say different a number of times, I will say it. 05:57 The first one we are going to look at is there is an 06:01 Oxford group that says what you are going to do is to 06:04 get a piece of paper and make four squares out of the paper 06:09 and look at love, is there any thing in this category in love 06:15 that you have done that has messed you up? 06:17 I'm talking about relationships obviously, but I'm also 06:22 talking about our sexuality and how we have acted 06:25 out in those ways. 06:26 The stuff that you list in that area, anything that has 06:29 tripped you up, the next one is honesty, and the 06:32 next one is resentment. 06:33 You have different areas and you start 06:34 listing everything out. So in the Oxford group 06:37 they believe that if I can look at what is wrong with me, 06:41 or what is obviously a character defect and start working 06:45 on those I can actually get some freedom. 06:48 And they are really effective, they really have a standard 06:52 they have a direction to go in to. 06:55 The 12th step groups, they look at a little bit 06:59 differently, they will tell you to write down or put in 07:01 four columns on a piece of paper. 07:03 The first column, and this I love, the first column write 07:08 out resentment, every single resentment you have. 07:11 Write out resentments you have with an institution. 07:14 Like if I was on the streets robbing places and shooting 07:19 heroine and living that lifestyle they may say I resent 07:23 law-enforcement, right? Because I may resent law- 07:27 enforcement or I may resent the government because I lost my 07:30 house. I may resent what ever. 07:33 List out institutions, people, anything you resent it in 07:38 your life and then look at the next column. 07:40 How that resentment has interfered with your life. 07:44 It has robbed me financially. I went to jail for 17 years. 07:50 I lost my house and I had to go on welfare. 07:55 Whatever it is you look at the resentment and how it has 07:58 affected you, how it affected your pocketbook, whether it 08:00 has affected your self-esteem, whether it has affected 08:03 your family and you look at different sections of how 08:06 I'm going to come out of those resentments and work myself 08:09 out of those resentments. 08:10 Really by turning it over to God, which is amazing. 08:13 Or turn it over to a higher power which a lot 08:16 of people talk about. 08:17 That's the 12 step and there is another one called the 08:22 12 traditions and in that when they really take it more 08:27 vague, I'm going to take a piece of paper, a blank piece 08:31 of paper and start writing questions to ask myself maybe 08:35 the question might be well with my background like? 08:40 What was my history like? What was it like in the 08:45 middle of my drugs? 08:46 What are the things I struggle with the most? 08:48 And I will answer those questions and in answering those 08:50 questions I'll start seeing theme being developed. 08:53 Things to work on and with that I'm literally going to, 08:58 it is a vague way to look at it but I will start getting 09:03 as I write the more I write I will start getting 09:06 a picture of what I am going to look at. 09:07 The next one is, let me think of what the next one is. 09:12 There are so many of them out there. 09:14 The next one is looking at the Hazleton approach, the 09:17 Hazelton approach is about the same thing is that I'm 09:21 going to write down my fears, I'm going to write down my 09:25 resentments and what makes me angry and all those things. 09:29 Write down some of those because sometimes we forget 09:31 about our fears and sometimes our fear looks like anger, 09:33 excuse me, but it's not its fear. 09:37 So we're going to look at all that and do it again in an open 09:42 ended thing or I will write almost a history. 09:46 What we use in our ministry, True Step Ministries, 09:49 it is a personal inventory sheet and the sheet looks at 09:55 bitterness, anger, rejection, pride, and those things that 10:02 are usually hidden from us. 10:04 When somebody says, when you walk up to someone and you 10:07 have pride issues but you don't know it, everybody in 10:11 the room knows that, but you don't know it. 10:14 So we look at those issues, where they come from, and how 10:18 you can walk out from underneath them. 10:21 When I walk out from underneath them I am free. 10:25 So in this season we are going to look at how to do 10:30 a fearless inventory of all your junk. 10:34 Not just look at it but to come out under from underneath 10:38 it and you can be free. 10:41 The people around me can be more honestly loved by me and 10:44 I can be loved by them. 10:45 Sometimes when we are locked down with these blind spots 10:49 we are locked down with pride issues or anger issues or 10:52 I am over sensitive I have rejection stuff. 10:54 I have rejection stuff and it pops up all the time, but 10:59 if we start looking at those and become free of them, 11:03 not only am I free to love the person in front of me but 11:06 they are free to actually love me back and I can receive 11:10 that and it is absolutely amazing. 11:11 There is another part of the 12 step that nobody really 11:14 tends to look at, a lot of people don't tend to look at. 11:17 But what are your good things? 11:19 Sometimes when I was on the streets for 10 years and 11:24 strung out, I didn't know I had any talents. 11:27 I didn't even know I had good stuff. 11:30 I didn't know I love to laugh, I love to love, 11:35 I love to be present for someone and to hang out 11:40 with people and all that stuff. 11:41 I love art, I love music I love all that stuff but in 11:45 my junk I didn't know any of that stuff. 11:48 So when doing personal inventories it is really nice to 11:51 look at your blind spots, look at the stuff that gets in 11:54 your way, but look at the stuff that may be you don't 11:57 know or know that you can do. 12:00 I'm telling you people that come in to recovery and 12:04 they are a mess and everybody on the planet knows that. 12:08 They are strung out sexually and I have just worked with 12:12 this guy that had been divorced five or six times. 12:14 His children don't talk to him anymore and he sat across 12:18 from us and had no idea that he had any problems. 12:23 He blamed it on everybody, but this guy is going through 12:26 all this stuff, all this wreckage, you talk about blind 12:30 spots in his traveling. 12:31 All this wreckage is behind him in cars and ditches the 12:34 fires all behind him, and probably an ambulance 12:37 everywhere but he has all the havoc that he has caused 12:40 and wreckage he has caused and he has no idea about his 12:44 blind spots but he also has no idea what his giftings are. 12:47 He had no idea what he has to offer the people around him. 12:51 I believe that every single one of us has incredible 12:54 things to offer the people around us that God has given 12:58 as gifts and talents that are unbelievable. 13:01 This season find out where your blind spots are which 13:04 it's tough, it's tough but then you find out what your 13:07 gifts are and that is amazing. 13:09 So stay with us we are going to talk about that stuff in 13:12 between all of this conversation for the season you are 13:15 going to meet some incredible folks. 13:17 We come back after break I'm going to introduce you to 13:20 some people that I met when I was traveling. 13:23 They have pretty much changed my life. |
Revised 2014-12-17