Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Marcia Armstead
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00086C
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00:14 Welcome back, I love the fact that Marcia talked so much
00:17 about her rebellion and what happened to her as far as 00:21 how that started in a Sabbath school class and it really 00:24 blindsided her, she thought everything was fine. 00:27 I'm just doing class and somebody says something about 00:30 I think you are going to be married to a Pastor and her 00:33 self raised up and she said no way. 00:35 Don't even say that to me, and I don't know where that 00:38 came from but when you start to deal with rebellion 00:41 you will feel that come up, you will feel that rise up. 00:44 If you are questioning right now whether that is your 00:48 issue sit down quietly and say Jesus, is that my issue? 00:52 Do I have rebellion to look at? Then let the Holy Spirit 00:55 direct you, because one of the things that was a real 00:58 surprised at is the Holy Spirit directed me to my own 01:01 rebellion and when I asked Him was that one of my issues? 01:04 He showed me when I was a little kid and 01:06 that nobody heard me, nobody paid attention and there was 01:10 a time in my life that I said as a little girl, that will 01:14 not happen again. You will hear me and I am going to be 01:18 seen and all that stuff. 01:20 Even with Greta when she talked about self rising up 01:23 as that self for me rose up there was some things I had to 01:28 look at fairness issues life is not fair and it is not fair that 01:32 I had to be raised with addicts. 01:34 I am going to take care of myself and nobody's going to 01:37 hurt me anymore like that. 01:38 And every single one of those statements created in me 01:43 this really rebellion, this really defiant place. 01:46 So if you ask God, God is that me? Jesus do I really need to 01:51 look at some things? And what are they? 01:52 What are they can be anywhere, like mine was caused by pain. 01:56 Marcia's, if I'm going to guess was caused by somebody 02:01 taking a dream that she might have had and changing that 02:06 dream off and her saying that's not the dream I had. 02:09 But something happens and our rebellion kicks in. 02:13 So if you are thinking that you may have some of that 02:16 stuff is too ask Jesus what kicked in for you. 02:19 Where did it start? To close here we're going to talk 02:25 about how to resolve that stuff. 02:26 So one is ask God, because God has known us since we were 02:29 tiny. The Bible says when you were in your mother's womb 02:33 I formed you, so if anybody is going to bring light onto 02:37 our blind spots, on to our rebellion, onto our anger 02:40 issues, God is going to do that through the Holy Spirit. 02:44 I think as far as an accountability partner, as far 02:48 somebody they can walk alongside of us, God is it. 02:52 God is so good at it, He is so gentle, so ask Him. 02:56 Do I have rebellion issues? What are they? 02:59 Were they caused by pain? Then if you are brave enough 03:03 ask the people around you because they will say 03:07 are you kidding me? You are asking me that? 03:10 Of course you do that usually the people around us know 03:13 that we do have that edge to us. 03:16 We do have fairness issues that always get under our skin. 03:21 We do I have anger to deal with? And if you ask God 03:25 where is the anger that I have? Do I have that and where 03:29 did that come from? Because what is really amazing is 03:34 that God says okay what are you going to do with that anger? 03:37 Marcia talked about surrendering that to God, what an 03:41 incredible stance to take. 03:43 It is not the only do I believe there is a God that 03:45 cares about me and my recovery, I believe there is a God 03:48 that can free me from this junk that I am tied up with. 03:52 From this anger and from this rebellion because 03:54 I'm telling you I don't know what you're rebellion looks 03:56 like, but mine looked bad, it looked bad. 03:59 There was nothing good about how I walked around in life. 04:03 Because if you got under my skin, if you said something that 04:06 offended me I could drop the relationship like that and 04:09 go on to someone else. 04:10 I could move away and do all that stuff and not even know 04:13 that all that came from my rebellion. 04:15 If you asked me to step into recovery and I still have 04:19 all of that junk stirring up is that I will not be able 04:22 to connect with the people around me. 04:23 So ask Him about your rebellion, did it come from pain? 04:26 Did it come from anger? How can I then step into 04:29 recovery? What can I do next to resolve that? 04:32 Deal with the fact that if my rebellion came from the 04:38 damage I had as a child, can I forgive them? 04:43 That is huge. Can I go to every single relationship, 04:47 we talked on another program is that in different 04:50 12-step groups, different programs they will have 04:54 you list all your resentments, have you list all the 04:57 people that have hurt you. 04:59 Especially in the big book and most 12-step groups will 05:03 give you a whole column and say list any institution or 05:07 people that have injured you in your life. 05:09 That is where most of our rebellion comes from and 05:11 where most of our anger comes from. 05:13 So list them out and when you get them listed out, say to 05:18 yourself I forgive you for hurting me in the way you did. 05:24 Like for my mom, I forgive you for not loving me. 05:27 I forgive you for not being there because of your 05:31 addictions. I choose to let that go, whatever ground 05:34 I gave to the devil, what ever I surrendered to him 05:38 I am literally taking that back and taking all the pain 05:41 and the consequences and the rebellion from that back and 05:44 I'm going to surrender that to God and ask you Jesus to 05:47 take full control of that and please change me. 05:51 Teach me how to walk through life without rebellion. 05:53 Because for some of us it is in our very DNA. 05:56 You know what I mean, it is so much of who we are that if 06:00 you ask somebody who they are without it they don't know. 06:03 It motivates them to get the job done. 06:05 It motivates them to walk through life. 06:08 They literally can grab somebody by the collar and say 06:10 what you mean that I don't belong here? 06:14 That I didn't deserve this promotion? It motivates them to 06:18 do that and you start healing from there and 06:20 you don't really know how to do that but as God how do 06:22 I even do that? 06:23 Another thing that we are going to look at and this is 06:26 awful, we are going to look at, I was very, in my 06:31 rebellion I ended up on the streets at age 13 so 06:36 I was homeless. 06:37 I survived the streets and there was a certain amount 06:42 of pride in that. 06:43 I was literally kidnapped by bikers, punched in the face 06:47 with my teeth knocked out and I got up to punch 06:49 them back each time. 06:51 And you know there was a part of me that says try to 06:54 take me down, you cannot take me down. 06:56 There was this sense of defiance, a sense of rebellion 07:01 for sure, but there was a pride that stepped into my life 07:06 and it was really there, I really protected that. 07:09 So I had to really look at how I deal with pride? 07:13 How do I do with the fact that it may not be as blatant 07:17 nor as obvious to some one else's, but it was always 07:21 this underlying thing. 07:23 So in my rebellion I really want to ask the people around 07:26 me and God Himself, what does my pride look like? 07:30 I'm not brave like people. 07:32 In my recovery I said God show me real gentle. 07:36 You know what I'm a baby, I'm a baby so I want healing 07:42 but I wanted to be gentle with me. 07:44 If I have to deal with this, show it to me gently. 07:48 You're really going to come in and say I feel like I have 07:52 some rebellion, I know it is caused by pain, I know it is 07:56 caused by whatever the attack I was under or the fact that 07:59 I lost my father or the fact that everybody around me addicts 08:03 or whatever the reason I'm going to surrender that to You. 08:06 I think I have some pride, I think I have some anger and 08:09 I'm going to bring that to You. 08:10 The reason you're going to do that is that for whatever 08:13 I hold on to it is going to stop me from walking 08:16 out of these addictions. 08:18 It's got to stop me from walking out of the sadness's in 08:21 my life or the places that continuing trip me up 08:26 or stop you from that, so I really want to surrender 08:30 all of it to God. 08:31 God being the accountability partner. 08:33 One thing I want to suggest too on top of all this, is to 08:37 make sure that you really say to someone around you, 08:41 can I open up and share this with you? 08:45 When I write down all the stuff, when I write out what 08:48 my resentments are, what my angers are, what my rebellion 08:52 looks like, and some of our rebellion looks horrible. 08:55 We end up in jail, we end up strung out, we end up with 08:58 all that stuff so you write all that out. 09:01 In your rebellion did you learn to lie? Did you learn to 09:04 manipulate? Did you learn to steal? Did you learn to 09:07 play people? All that stuff, write it out. 09:10 Literally put it on paper because for some of us we in 09:13 our head cover some of that stuff but we don't put it down 09:17 on paper, when you put it down on paper it looks different. 09:20 A lot of you know but I wrote a book and I was really 09:23 surprised as I was writing that book, is that my 09:26 rebellion and my junk was so obvious to me that it made it 09:30 really easy to realize where I was stuck. 09:33 So write it down and when you write it down show it to 09:36 someone, and be careful who you show it to. 09:39 Show it to a Pastor, show it to someone in a group that 09:43 you go to, show it to a friend, show it to your spouse. 09:47 If you guys are not dealing with all that junk. 09:49 Show it to somebody that cares about you because that person 09:53 will gently allow you to say it out loud. 09:56 So now you've written it down, you have said it out loud, 09:59 and then you say to God forgive me, I surrendered this 10:03 rebellion to You. 10:05 I pray that whatever the devil meant to do in my life 10:08 to destroy me with, to destroy my relationship with my family, 10:13 I just surrender all that to You, I pray that 10:15 the blood of Christ will just cover that. 10:18 You really are asking for some huge changes. 10:20 What is really interesting to me is that we don't have to 10:24 do any of that, I can say I don't need that, I don't need 10:27 that and keep all of that in my pocket. 10:30 In a 12 step program what they call is an alcoholic that 10:33 has come out of their alcoholism but hasn't changed 10:37 a thing, they call him a dry drunk. 10:39 Because he is still angry, he still has all that junk, 10:42 he still has all that rebellion. 10:44 He still has all that dysfunction in the relationships 10:47 and most people hate to be around them. 10:49 So even though they are not drinking, they will say what 10:52 is wrong? I'm not drinking isn't that what you wanted? 10:55 And their kids or spouse will say here's a bottle of 10:57 whatever, drink because you are driving us crazy. 11:00 The only reason they are saying that is they 11:02 haven't dealt with their stuff. 11:04 So one of the things I know you can stop all of your 11:08 addiction but if you don't deal with these hidden things, 11:10 if you don't deal with this rebellion, and especially the 11:13 anger stuff that stays underneath the surface. 11:16 If you don't deal with that you will never fully get well. 11:19 If you don't get well, the next thing that happens and the 11:23 Bible is real clear about that is that we pass all 11:25 that stuff down generationally so that 11:28 the next person that walks around with every single thing 11:31 you have, are your kids. 11:33 I have worked with people who are very angry and strung 11:37 out and pretty soon their kids are angry and strung out. 11:41 You don't even have to ask where this came from because 11:45 you can see grandpa is angry and an alcoholic. 11:48 But if you went back far enough you can see all that 11:51 the Bible talks about 3 or 4 for generations, but somebody 11:55 breaks that generational thing. 11:56 What is amazing, is when I finally said to God okay 12:01 I'm clueless of all that I have. 12:04 I'm clueless of what is in side of me. 12:07 I'm clueless of what causes my rebellion to jump back out 12:10 again, I'm clueless of my underlying anger so 12:13 I just surrender it all to You. 12:14 I finally did that honestly and I have a great life, 12:18 I have a great life who would have guessed it? 12:21 Not only have a great life but I have found that 12:25 I have talents I never knew I had. 12:27 I have giftings I never knew I had, I have the ability to 12:30 love and bring people into my life, friendships that I never 12:33 knew I could do and all of a sudden the world changes. 12:37 I would even venture to say that the colors in the world 12:41 change, that the world is brighter, that my future has 12:44 more hope in it, that I literally wake up with joy and 12:48 I can laugh out loud and I enjoy being in my own skin. 12:52 It is all because I finally said to God okay if there is 12:56 anything in there, if there is anything stopping me from 12:59 being able to respond to You honestly and to the people 13:03 I love, I surrender, I surrender. 13:06 As soon as I did that I think all of heaven just 13:10 celebrated, just celebrated and said you know baby 13:13 I'm going to pour all that stuff into you. 13:16 I'm going to clean up and when I clean up you are going 13:19 to feel freer and lighter and I do. 13:21 And I pray that for you, I hope that for you. 13:24 If you get stuck you can e-mail us or call us and we will 13:27 help you through it. 13:28 Until next week will see ya always remember 13:31 God is crazy about you and me too. God bless! |
Revised 2014-12-17