Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Palischer Ratliff
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00087B
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00:15 Welcome back, we're talking Palischer and Palischer
00:18 pronounce your last name. - Ratliff - with no T? 00:22 Without no t. No T. and no C. 00:24 You are talking about the different things that happen to 00:29 you as you're growing up, stepping out, and your 00:31 rebellion, having the two boys and now looking at raising 00:35 them and trying to give them everything you didn't get as 00:39 far as emotionally from your folks. 00:42 Not that they didn't love you, just the stuff that was 00:44 going on in their lives, especially with your dad's 00:47 alcoholism and now you have got these kids. 00:49 Can you continue because I know that life was good 00:53 and then you had some tragic things happen and let's get 00:57 into some of that stuff. 00:58 Okay well, I had my two boys and I didn't stay with their 01:05 father so we were living okay. 01:08 I had a job and was working and making okay money so we 01:12 didn't want for too much at first. 01:14 Also their father was on SSI so I got money from that for 01:19 the boys also. We had a car and a place to stay and 01:23 they dressed pretty nice. 01:24 So they were happy and I was happy and the things they 01:28 wanted we mostly got them. 01:30 One day when I was watching my youngest son playing, 01:34 the Spirit came to me, I know it wasn't an audible voice, 01:38 but it sounded so clear in my mind. 01:41 It said, you're going to bury this one. 01:44 I was like what? It scared me so much and I ran out the 01:49 house to my girlfriends house and told her 01:51 the Spirit just told me I'm going to bury my baby. 01:53 I called my sister and said the Spirit told me I was 01:55 going to bury my baby and I don't know what to do. 01:58 I don't know what to think about it. 01:59 In your heart you knew that that was God? 02:02 I knew it was God, I had never heard the voice of God 02:06 like that before but I knew it had to be the Spirit of 02:09 God what else could it be? 02:11 What did people say to you? 02:12 Well how do you know? I just know, I know because I'm 02:16 really crying, I'm scared because this is my baby. 02:20 I love him so much, so from that point forward I started 02:24 nurturing him more and being close to him and watching 02:27 him and being careful not to let him go places that 02:31 I didn't know or I would go with him and such like that. 02:33 My Sister said your so careful about him. 02:36 I told her I don't know what he's going to die, I don't 02:39 know what's going to happen, or how it's going to happen 02:41 but the Spirit said he is going to die and I'll bury him. 02:45 But as time went on and nothing happened to him, except 02:48 he was a very rebellious kid, very much like his mother. 02:51 - that generational - that generational thing. 02:54 He wanted to be his own self. 02:56 I had taken him to Sabbath school, when I would go to 02:59 church I would take him. 03:00 His other brother David was just the opposite, a preppy 03:03 guy that loved to wear suits, smart aleck would do 03:06 good in school. 03:07 Boyd was different he didn't like a suit, He didn't 03:09 want to go to school, he didn't like church and he didn't learn 03:13 to read because he wouldn't stay interested in school. 03:17 So in Sabbath school they were trying to make him read 03:20 one time in Sabbath school, they go around and all the 03:22 kids read and they didn't know that he could read. 03:25 So rather than say anything he just burst into tears and 03:27 ran out and so they came and got me from my Sabbath 03:30 school and I went and found him and he was just crying 03:32 and he doesn't want to go back in. 03:34 So I did not make him go back, he never went back 03:36 to Sabbath school after that. 03:37 - did he tell you the reason? Because a lot of times 03:41 they just bury that in their heart. 03:43 Yeah he tell me that's what they tried to make him read, 03:45 he didn't want them to know he couldn't read. 03:48 So there is no other alternative to him but to leave. 03:51 Then he thought a stigma was on him so he didn't like 03:53 coming to church because he thought people were always 03:56 looking at him because he was the guy that couldn't read 03:58 so we had issues there. 03:59 Of course issues in school and then he got 04:03 used to the street life. 04:05 He liked the acceptance he got in the street with 04:07 his buddies and stuff. - because they don't care 04:09 about any of that stuff. 04:10 - no they don't care about nothing. 04:12 Most of them couldn't read either so he was right in his 04:14 own arena and feeling good about it. 04:16 No matter how much I tried to steer him in another 04:19 direction, his heart was set on his way of doing things. 04:22 I thought you are just like your mother. 04:24 But I started taking him to funerals when they were like 04:29 13, young people dying and man don't you know that 04:33 one day this is going to be you if you don't stop. 04:36 You've got to change your ways. 04:38 He said mom I can handle it, I can handle it, I'm cool, 04:41 I can handle it. 04:42 Because of that thing that happened with you and God 04:46 early on is that you'd try to just prevent anything. 04:49 - yeah! You must've been aware that this is what you 04:53 were looking at, this is all the street has to offer you. 04:56 Even though I have to be honest, I forgot that even when 05:00 telling him the end of result of this is that you might 05:03 get killed too, still not thinking. 05:05 Because it has already gone away in my own head and 05:09 I'm living my own life as a single parent, dating, 05:13 working and drinking and smoking and just 05:16 doing my own thing. 05:17 Trying to take care of him on the side and wishing 05:20 he would do better, his brother played football and 05:22 I turned out to be the football mom going to 05:23 the games and stuff. 05:25 He's jealous and here goes the sibling thing because 05:27 I'm spending time with his brother and not him and 05:29 he doesn't want to go to the games because he is mad. 05:31 But anyway, after a while my mother got sick and 05:40 I started having to take care of her. My dad got sick 05:44 first. He had cancer and he had been separated from 05:47 my mother, they got divorced when we were kids still. 05:50 But I kept up with him because I was his baby. 05:53 He decided he was going to stop drinking and one of his 05:57 friends who knew me, because I've been the baby all the 06:00 time, he totally your dad needs you. 06:02 He's up on the streets and not having a good time 06:06 and you need to go find your dad. 06:07 So I went out to find him, he was on the streets fussing and 06:10 cussing, I said dad what is the matter with you? He said there's 06:12 bugs on me, there's bugs on me. No dad there's no bugs 06:15 on you. Yes there is just cuss me out can't you see 06:17 these bugs? So I said dad I'm going to take 06:19 you to the Doctor. The Doctor can help you. 06:21 So I took him to the Doctor and asked the Doctor is there 06:23 anything wrong with my dad that I can't take them home 06:26 with me because I have two boys and I want to know if he's 06:29 got something they might get and I couldn't take him. 06:31 But if he is just going through some things I want to 06:33 take him home with me. 06:34 So he said he is fine you can take him home. 06:36 So I did, I went and got him and moved them home with me 06:38 and I kept him until he died. 06:40 He had cancer of the throat because he was a smoker. 06:43 - That's how my dad died his alcoholism with cancer of 06:47 the throat, my stepdad. 06:48 It's not a pretty thing to watch, he couldn't talk, 06:53 his voice went raspy and he died in my car as a matter 06:56 of fact on the way home from the hospital because he had 06:59 been in Martinez and I went to go get him and he wanted 07:03 to come home and they wouldn't let him come home. 07:05 He said every time that you are not here they say you 07:07 are coming but when you get here they will let me go. 07:09 So I told them look I'm taking him home and they let me 07:11 take you home but before we got home he just stopped 07:14 breathing, he just stopped breathing. 07:16 So that was a really big time in my life, 07:18 that was like in 85 maybe 86. 07:22 Then when my mother got sick later, she had always been kind 07:26 of sick all of our lives, she was never a healthy woman. 07:30 And when she started needing help at home, I started 07:33 spending a lot of time with her and I had my own place 07:37 and my boys were big teenagers now and so I can spend 07:40 more time with her. I stayed with her till she died. 07:44 Then I had a friend, I got married in the process 07:48 of all this stuff. 07:50 My kid's father died before my mother and we went to LA 07:54 and it was really terrible because I was so nervous, even 07:57 though we weren't together we still communicated and 08:01 I was so nervous on the way to the funeral. 08:03 One of my best friends drove me down there, 08:05 she's a sweetheart and I love her to death. 08:07 Just before we got to the last stop I smoked a joint. 08:11 - just to relax? - just relax my nerves. 08:14 Then we got back from the funeral it was a week or 08:17 maybe later I got called to the school because my son 08:20 had been caught smoking weed in the bathroom. 08:23 He told the teacher I only did it because 08:26 I saw my mom do it, it was like ahh. 08:29 And we don't think that whole generational thing. 08:32 Yeah and it is real. 08:35 Kids only hear what they see, they don't hear what 08:39 you say, they hear what they see and they're going to do 08:42 what they see and it is so important. 08:44 But anyway, so in 2007 my mother had a mini stroke and 08:50 so she was in the hospital for a few days and then 08:55 we put her in a convalescent home. 08:57 In September my friend, who had been my friend for 20 09:03 years, he died. Then in October my godmother died, 09:08 and November 3 my mother died so I had a really rough 09:12 year with death right in there. 09:14 But it was during that time that I reached back for God. 09:19 Because my husband also died in 85, nope he didn't die 09:23 in 85, it was about 94. 09:25 I drank my way through everybody that died up to that 09:28 point of my friend, I had drank my way through 09:31 the pain of it. 09:33 I knew that when this guy died it was heavier than that for 09:36 me because he had been my support system, my friend, 09:39 everything and not to have him was not a cool thing for me. 09:43 There wasn't enough alcohol? To bury that one? 09:47 No I didn't think there would be. 09:49 No, because when they brought it to me, you know when you have 09:53 a vise your friends just bring it to you, 09:55 you don't have to buy nothing. 09:56 I just poured it out and say God I can't do it this time. 09:59 You have to rescue me, and I told Him forgive me. 10:02 I know that I have hurt You and have done so many 10:05 things to hurt You if You will just get me through this, 10:09 I'm yours. God forgave me, I felt His forgiveness just 10:12 come over me and I started a new life. 10:15 - no shame, no condemnation? - no, nothing. 10:17 Just grateful you're coming back. - just thankfulness. 10:21 I could feel the rejoicing in heaven and I was so glad 10:24 at that point that I did know that my son was going to be 10:28 dying shortly after that even though it was several years 10:31 later he gave me time to develop a relationship with God. 10:35 He is so merciful, because the love that He had back then 10:39 to tell me what was going to happen and then to love me 10:42 all through the times I was hurting Him, He was loving me 10:46 anyway. - so tell me in that time where you were 10:51 standing up spiritually, what does that look like because 10:55 you're having to give up the drinking, you're having to 11:00 give up the relationships that you grabbed hold of 11:03 to get you through stuff? - Yeah I told God if You will be 11:08 my alcohol, my drug of choice and my man I can serve You. 11:13 Those are the things that got me so bound up and strung 11:16 out that I just need You to be those things for me. 11:20 If You will just be those things 11:21 I'm going to be all right. And God said it was no 11:25 problem, I can be all that and some more, so He has just 11:29 taken those desires from me and it's a beautiful thing 11:33 and I'm just so thankful, I'm so thankful. 11:36 So you're starting to stand up spiritually stronger and 11:39 stronger and your son is acting out more and more. 11:43 He is more and more. - crazy running the streets. 11:46 He is just doing his own thing, he got married and 11:50 I think he only got married, well I shouldn't say that. 11:54 He needed a place to stay and he knows I'm not going to 11:58 let his girlfriend come and stay with me so he married 12:01 her so they could have a place to stay I think. 12:04 I loved every minute of having them and I let his older 12:07 brother stay with me when he first got married so it's 12:10 a tit-for-tat you did for him you had to do for me. 12:14 He had got shot in 2000, I got a call at 2000 that 12:17 he was shot, it was New Year's. 12:19 I was in Stockton visiting and was still in Oakland 12:22 then the thought came to me oh God not now, not like this. 12:26 So I got back there and it was a wake-up call for him 12:29 and it should've been. 12:30 But actually was a wake-up call for me. 12:32 So during just kind of a party, how did he get shot? 12:37 Up on the street, they call it up on the street, there is 12:42 a strip in Oakland were a lot of the guys hang out, 12:44 they sell drugs, they party, there is women up there and 12:47 stuff and he loved that strip, he was the man up there. 12:52 They loved him and he got shot, they shot him in the 12:56 back and as a result of that shot they had to cut off 12:59 part of his intestines and stitched them up and stuff. 13:04 He was good, he survived that but he realized that we 13:07 were going to take care of it that somebody was 13:08 trying to kill him. 13:09 I told him the devil is trying to kill you Boyd, he is. 13:13 You don't have to die, you can change 13:16 you don't have to be like this. 13:17 He cried about it but he didn't change, 13:20 he did not change. 13:21 So in 2005 when I got a call that he had been shot in the 13:27 head, well that really sent me a loop, it was a nightmare. 13:33 I called by Pastor and told them that I got the call 13:35 and was headed to emergency and have the church to pray. 13:38 I couldn't imagine, even when you said that 13:40 it is hard to even breathe. 13:42 Yeah, yeah because a shot is one thing but when 13:45 they tell me it was in his head he was like this has 13:48 got to be it, this has got to be it. 13:51 So I started praying and my sisters are so good, 13:54 there was two of them and they got, we had just went 13:56 to bed will be got the call, they got up and took me 13:59 to the hospital and it was eternity waiting 14:02 in that ER to see him. 14:03 Not knowing what he was going to look like, or whatever. 14:07 But God is so good because when we did get to see him 14:10 he was laying there just as peaceful, asleep, look like 14:13 he was just asleep, but he wasn't breathing on his own. 14:16 - machines breathing for him? 14:18 Yes he was on life supports and the doctors said 14:22 you can't talk to him because his brain 14:24 will swell with activity. 14:26 I was like know I have to talk to my son and 14:28 I have some things I've got to tell him. 14:30 So I was able to tell him that Jesus loved him and no 14:33 matter what he had done God would forgive him and that 14:36 I loved him. - it was like I know you can hear me. 14:39 - You can hear and God can hear you, you can't speak but 14:42 He can read your heart, just tell Him to forgive you 14:45 and ask Him to forgive you for your sins and He will 14:48 save you right here right where you are. 14:50 I love you and I'm not going no where I am right here. 14:54 So after I got through talking I went out and was back and 14:58 forth bringing people in an out they came to see him. 15:00 I did know he had so many girlfriends, oh my. 15:03 There were so many girls that came to see him. 15:06 God was right there with me the whole time and the 15:09 hardest thing was letting go when I finally realized 15:12 after four days this is not getting better. 15:14 The doctors said we need to take the life supports off. 15:19 I was Doctor please, but in that tragedy some good came 15:23 because my pastors wife said, have you ever thought 15:27 of donating his organs? 15:28 I said I hadn't thought of it, but he is perfectly 15:31 healthy I don't see why not. 15:33 So I got his wife and asked her about it and she said 15:36 yes it was fine with her, so we met the donor people and 15:39 we set that all up so someone got his kidneys, his heart. 15:43 They couldn't take as lungs because the life support stuff 15:45 have blown them up too much for being on life support. 15:48 There were three organs I can't remember the other. 15:51 I try to get his kidneys for a friend that was needed 15:54 a kidney but they didn't match. 15:55 It was just a hard journey but through it all the Lord was 16:00 there and when the chaplain came in to tell me that your 16:06 son is going to a better place and this and this. 16:08 That just gets me, that line and I guess my Adventism just 16:12 rose up in me right in that moment and I told them that 16:17 is not what my Bible tells me. 16:18 So I give her little Bible study right there. 16:22 I said he's going to rest until Jesus comes. 16:25 - and he needs the rest. - yeah. 16:28 - this boy has been running for a long time. 16:30 You know it even listening to you, just talking about 16:35 having to say goodbye, and having to let him go. 16:40 Did you sense the arms of God just holding you up? 16:45 Absolutely, oh absolutely, I mean I was a dishrag. 16:50 His wife fell out but God held me up, 16:55 she actually fell to the floor. 16:56 God's power, the power that He has, and I'm a big girl 17:03 but I could feel sitting in His lap, I could feel 17:07 like I was in His lap all the time. 17:09 When did it come to your mind what He told you years 17:11 before, when did that come back to your mind? 17:13 When they said the shot was in the head. 17:15 Then they came back for sure when the doctors said it was 17:18 time to let go, it was time to cut it off. 17:21 You remembered at that moment when you watched 17:23 him as a baby. 17:24 My girlfriend came to my house I told hear how to do 17:29 a funeral for my son, I know she was just good to me, 17:32 all my friends and this is the glory of having a church 17:36 family, of being a part of somebody who loves you even 17:39 though all the years of my rebellion my church family 17:42 was praying for me, my mother, my parents, my sisters, 17:45 people at the church school that I finally got to go 17:48 to and wash dishes and all that. 17:50 Prayers were for me to come to the Lord and to give my 17:53 heart to the Lord, all my old professors. 17:55 When my son died everybody, I had like three church 18:00 support come to be with me, I got money from everywhere 18:04 and I was able to go to Wildwood and just take a breather. 18:08 I wanted some grief counseling and God is so good, they 18:12 don't offer that at Wildwood and I didn't know that but 18:16 the minister who stayed next door to me and grief 18:18 counseling so we were able to get the counseling every day. 18:22 He, I and his wife and I would walk every day and he just 18:25 let me talk, and talk and that's what you need to do 18:28 when you lose somebody is to talk about it. 18:30 Because you have to remember that every single time 18:33 they laughed, every time you held them - pictures go 18:36 take pictures if you got kids take pictures. 18:39 I'm so thankful for the pictures I have, 18:42 That I have precious memories of my son. 18:45 The one thing I want to tell you guys about him and 18:49 God is so good how He worked things out. 18:52 Before he died he called Monday mooches griseous and so 18:56 he called me on my job I said mama needs some mooches 18:59 griseous because I put my clothes in the cleaners and 19:02 they said they're going to sell them if 19:03 I don't get them out. 19:04 I said how much do you need, $50, $50 you know and 19:07 I was really mad at him but I told him to come by the 19:11 house I would give it to him. 19:12 He did and his friend brought him by the house when I got 19:14 home from work and I gave him the money and hugged him 19:16 and told him I loved him and everything. 19:18 He thanked me and he left and they were parked underneath 19:21 the driveway and I could see them out of my window. 19:23 So I went to the window and hit the window when he was 19:26 getting into the car and I said I love you and he said 19:28 I love you too, that was the last time ever saw him, 19:31 or spoke to him. 19:33 The clothes I paid for the cleaners was the clothes I was 19:36 able to bury him in so God works all of that out for me. 19:41 His friends paid for the program, everything, I didn't 19:45 have to pay for nothing and the victims of violent crimes 19:49 helped me with the burial part of it all. 19:51 God's hand, when the Spirit said you have got to do the 19:55 eulogy I thought oh no. I felt like Moses. 19:58 - I can't do this, I can even speak. 20:01 If you want me to do a God You will have to help me do it. 20:04 I start write down things because I would walk every 20:06 morning and my sister was like you are going to walk 20:08 yourself to death but that is how I handled the pain. 20:10 I asked my preacher, I said Lord if you really want me to 20:13 do this when I tell my preacher this is what 20:15 to do and he's going to say okay. 20:16 So I called him and I told him he said I never heard of 20:20 it before, but yeah you can do it. 20:23 So then I knew that I was on for it. 20:25 God sustained me through it all, I was able to talk to 20:28 these young men who were ready to go out and kill the 20:32 person that killed my son and calmed their anger. 20:35 Because the word of God tells us if we harbor anger in 20:38 our hearts He will not hear our prayers. 20:41 We are praying to get through a time that was very difficult 20:44 so we can't have it, vengeance is the Lord's not ours. 20:47 I was in the Bible and finding the Scriptures all through 20:51 the week trying to get ready for that. 20:53 - speaking to these boys? - speaking to the young men 20:56 and to his children, it is very hard to tell his children 20:59 that he had died, but since then I've been able to take 21:02 them to counseling to get them some help with what 21:05 they have to deal with. 21:06 How old were they at that time? Let's see, 8, 9 and 11. 21:12 The baby was not one yet, she hadn't turned one yet. 21:18 But God is good, He carried me through it all and 21:24 He carries me today and I am thankful for how He prepares 21:28 you for, thank you so much, He prepares you for what 21:32 He has in store for you. He knew this day was coming. 21:35 He knew I would need Him to see me through. 21:38 He is faithful through all the jealousy, the envy, 21:42 the pride, all that just got ssssssssssuuuuuuuuu. 21:45 I'm Lord I'm yours now, however way You want it to go. 21:49 Coming here and being able to speak from the heart of 21:52 what God can do, how He can transform you. 21:54 How His love is everlasting it transcends all pain, 21:59 all bitterness, what ever it fills up every hole that 22:04 your heart has. Anything, God is just always available 22:08 and you don't have to wait on Him, all you have to do 22:11 it is recognize that He is there, that He is always 22:15 there for you because He is faithful and I just love Him. 22:18 I appreciate this opportunity to talk about 22:21 the goodness of God. 22:23 - and how cool your son was, do you know what I mean. 22:26 Being able to remember him in that. 22:28 There was a time that you were speaking, and I know you 22:32 know this but I would like to say this out loud. 22:35 In our rebellion, and in our acting out God never wants 22:40 any of that for any of our families. 22:43 He never wanted your son to experience one day of the life 22:47 that he chose, and yet God says I know it's going to go 22:50 this direction and I will hold you up. 22:52 But in the perfect will of God is not for any of us to 22:55 experience that. - right in a lot of my friends were 22:59 like where is God in all this? 23:01 Why does He allow all this to happen? 23:02 It's like, God doesn't make bad things happen to us. 23:08 We make choices that cause bad things to happen to us. 23:12 As much as I love my son, and as much as I wish all this 23:17 hadn't happened, I am so thankful that I had the 23:21 opportunity not only to have him and to love him and to 23:26 share a little bit of the love of God I knew even though 23:29 it was all twisted back in the day when I was raising 23:33 him, and still I was able to share that with him to the 23:35 point where I got the phone call a month before he died. 23:39 He said mom out what you to know I'm going to be all 23:42 right, the best thing you ever did for me was to tell 23:45 me about Jesus and I want you to know I'm going 23:47 to be all right. 23:49 That was out of the blue phone call and I don't know 23:52 where it came from but it made me so happy. 23:54 Then after this it was like thank you Jesus, it was like 23:58 thank you, God takes care of every little thing. 24:01 I got my last look at him, I got an assurance that 24:04 he knew God in some way, however he knew how. 24:07 And I had everything taken care of and God was right 24:11 there holding me the whole time. 24:12 You know how long ago has this been now? 24:15 It will be six years in April. 24:17 So six years and I'm sure some days it feels like it was 24:21 a moment ago? - oh yeah and now this is a crucial time 24:25 for me from March leading into the anniversary and 24:29 Mother's Day happens, then his birthday happens and 24:33 it is back to back to back. 24:34 Usually I have a very difficult time, I'm a obsessive 24:40 eater and I want to eat up everything so I have to ask 24:44 God please help me because He has shown me a better way to 24:48 live now, I had eaten my way to insanity to deal with the death. 24:54 So I have lost 100 pounds just in the last year. 24:57 So I want to, we don't have a lot of time but I want to 25:00 go into some of the some things that God has really 25:04 through all of this in holding you, He's teaching you 25:08 another way to even deal with your pain? Because 25:11 I know you just went on a fast that was ridiculous, 25:13 and God led to spiritual growth and a fast. 25:18 So talk about the eating and how you use to handle it 25:23 and how God is opening up a different way at this point. 25:29 Well, when I went to Weimer because after I got laid off 25:35 of work - and Weimer for people who don't know is a 25:38 health education Center - a health Institute, 25:39 a lifestyle Institute in California. 25:41 In my bulletin at church they had an advertisement about 25:46 reversing diabetes and obesity. 25:48 I have been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes because I had 25:51 worked myself to death in my lifestyle had made me sick. 25:54 When I went there they told me that we could reverse that 25:57 if we would just change your way of eating and 26:00 did some exercise and trusted in God, we could make 26:05 change in our health. 26:06 So I started doing it and they taught you how 26:09 to cook and everything. 26:10 I came home and told my sisters we can't have any more 26:13 olive oil, we can have any of these things we used to have 26:16 and she was like what? If you say so I am with you. 26:21 I just praise God for her, for my sisters because they 26:23 have been such a support to me in every change in my life. 26:26 - I met them, they are amazing and 26:27 I'm just wanting to say hi. 26:29 So I did I started making my own foods all whole foods. 26:32 I was listening to one of the guys today on the set. 26:36 - and it does increase your connection with God, 26:40 your prayer life. 26:41 Because you have to pray to do it, I mean it's not 26:44 a natural thing to throw down all the good stuff 26:47 that is killing you. 26:48 You've been eating it I mean mom gave you candy to 26:51 pacify you when you were a baby so you want this junk. 26:54 But with the help of God I was able to turn that around 26:57 and to start eating whole foods and my diabetes is in check, 27:01 my sugar is great, I've just got a call since I was here, 27:05 and my A1C is 5.8 which is excellent and my cholesterol is 27:09 down and my weight is down and my blood pressure is good and 27:13 I don't have to take medication and that is the thing. 27:15 I did not want medication and that is what made 27:17 me make the radical change. 27:18 Diabetes scares me, I want my legs, I don't want my feet 27:22 cut off or legs cut off, I don't want dialysis or none of 27:25 that so I said Lord if You help me, and God has shown me 27:28 and I have been able to go in minister to other people 27:31 and help them to make lifestyles changes. 27:33 Not only with grief, not only with rebellion, not only 27:37 with dominant stuff, but with you diet, health, with your 27:40 prayer life, you just did a 30 day fast 27:42 - yes and that was beautiful. 27:44 What is really interesting is I got through your friend 27:49 Joanie got to watch you guys praying and connect with God 27:53 and really get into a great place during that fast. 27:56 You almost made me want to miss a meal. 27:59 Almost, almost persuaded. 28:03 But when I listen to you Palischer and how God has 28:08 really, even through your rebellion, prepared you for the 28:12 tragedy that you are going to have to deal with in your life. 28:15 When the Bible says I plan evil for no one, God did not 28:19 plan those tragedies, He just foresaw them for you and 28:22 said I know I am going to hold you through this. 28:26 Now I watch you not only dealing with all of your core 28:31 issues but walking through your grandchildren and helping them. 28:33 The other night sitting outside and talking to your 28:37 daughter in law in the car, let's work through this stuff. 28:40 Continuously saying it stops here. 28:44 And I think the biggest thing that I want to leave with 28:48 people is the Bible says, I can't remember the text, 28:51 I tell you these things before they happen so when 28:54 they happen you will believe, and I had read that text 28:57 a lot of times. 28:59 I really didn't know what it meant, but I realized after 29:02 my son died, He tells you things before they happen so 29:06 you will believe it Him because He knows everything and 29:09 He has everything in His control and that has 29:12 strengthened my spiritual walk 10,000. 29:15 I believe so much in God, I know that He is real because 29:18 He has walked and talked with me and He told me before 29:21 hand so that I would believe. 29:23 I'm stubborn and He knows me, that's stubborn little person 29:28 so if I tell her up front and stay with her at all through 29:32 it when it happens she's going to believe I am real. 29:34 And I do believe He is real because He is. 29:37 And He told you so gently. -Yes - I know this is going to 29:41 break your heart, this is going to be something you feel 29:46 like you will never ever make it through. 29:48 But we'll get through, not only will we get through, you 29:54 and I just got to speak at pray conference and every hour 29:59 there was another speaker and the hour that you spoke 30:04 I just felt like the Holy Spirit just spoke right through 30:10 you and you ministered to us in such an incredible 30:13 compassionate way, because of the compassion God has had in 30:17 your life. I just feel like you just passed that on to us. 30:21 Well that is our job, that's our job as Christians to share 30:25 with people what God has done for us. 30:27 There is nothing else to share but kept His goodness, 30:29 we have no goodness in ourselves 30:31 He loves us, He loves us unconditionally and 30:34 that is a beautiful thing. 30:35 I want to say thank you for being on the program, but more 30:38 than that I want to say thank you for being in my heart. 30:41 You know what I mean, because I think that 30:44 we are now a part of each other's lives. 30:46 My heart still breaks for what happened to your son, 30:51 the choices that he made that took him on that journey. 30:56 I feel joy the same as you knowing that he knew God 31:00 and that on that resurrection day he's going to be going 31:05 mom I can't believe it, I'm here. 31:08 I'm here because you fought for us to come back. 31:12 I'm here because of that. 31:14 Stay with us we will be right back and I would like to 31:18 close out with some things that Palischer brought out 31:22 in her story and maybe some things you and I are going to 31:26 look at as far as to get into our healing because the 31:30 biggest thing is that God delights in turning that tide 31:34 so that no one has to bury a loved one. 31:37 No one has to be buried themselves. 31:40 So we will be right back. Stay with us! |
Revised 2014-12-17