Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Brad Peters
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00090B
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00:14 Welcome back, so Brad is saying that I can't forget the fact
00:18 that we are going to talk about some of my issues now. 00:21 I tried to end the show, I tried to say isn't this show a little 00:24 bit long today? But Brad, what is interesting to me is 00:28 that as you even talk about that there is a lot of us like 00:33 we will want our spouse to work on their stuff but 00:35 we can't unless we both, especially if you are married, 00:37 unless you're both going to work on your issues because 00:40 we play off of each other so much. 00:42 Exactly I'm going to speak to the men right now and I will 00:45 look into the camera to do it, speaking to the men. 00:47 Someone has got to blink, it is one of those things like 00:51 oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah and you know it's okay come on 00:54 someone has got to blink. 00:55 And again God expects the man to blink, I really believe 00:58 that to be the case and you do it from a position of 01:01 strength and compassion and caring and suddenly the 01:04 woman's heart will soften as well as your heart softens. 01:07 What's amazing to me because you do that a lot now, 01:11 I could be dead wrong about something, just acting like 01:17 a fool and you will just say I love you, did I hurt your 01:22 feelings, what did you just hear me say? 01:25 So that's the blinking and it's not about who's right or 01:28 wrong, it's whoever actually sees it and can step into 01:31 that, and what an incredible thing. 01:34 As you do that I just want to love you, I just want to 01:38 say you know what? I'm so lucky to have you. 01:41 I'm not just trying to butter you up, but it could be. 01:46 But there is that kind of response that just says wow. 01:49 And I thank you for that, so now we are talking about 01:53 that you are dealing with your anger and I am this 01:56 neglected kid, my pain has got me incredibly self focused 02:01 because my needs aren't met. 02:03 When your anger hits, I close down because I don't trust. 02:06 It was a complete and total catch 22. 02:09 Your reaction to expectations was to run away and 02:14 knowing what I do about your family history, you were told 02:17 to be quiet and shut up and all those kinds of things. 02:20 I was hitting every hot button you had it - exactly. 02:24 Your thing to be to be totally independent and defiant. 02:27 It is interesting to discover that you and I have some 02:29 similarities in terms of our issues. 02:32 The defiant, rebellious side we both have a fair dose of 02:35 that, but look then where I had the judgmental stuff, 02:39 you have the self focused things. 02:41 Where I had some intellectual, you were neglected. 02:44 I just went and read a few of the things for somebody 02:46 that has been neglected and what kind of things. 02:48 They are afraid to let others loved them. 02:50 So even though we are crying out and demanding to be 02:53 loved, we are afraid of that. 02:55 We cannot trust others, we cannot relax in relationships. 02:59 We don't feel comfortable with somebody touching or moving 03:03 in too close, even though were screaming to come closer. 03:06 We tend to be depressed and we have rejection issues and 03:10 all that stuff, we struggle with bitterness because I'm 03:13 going to be more and more bitter if I don't think Brad 03:16 understands or is angry, I came into the relationship with that. 03:20 So somebody with neglect we have all this underlying and 03:24 may not even know how much we have until we start to heal. 03:28 We are attracted to others who also have damage like us 03:32 because we understand that damage. 03:34 So to me when you talk about the anger, the anger set 03:37 off all of my stuff. 03:39 I'm hypersensitive, I'm self focused and all that stuff. 03:43 You're just saying, just step up and get the job done. 03:47 10 years or 12 years into our marriage, when day I looked 03:50 at you and said some day you are going to let me love you. 03:53 I couldn't understand what you are saying. 03:54 You didn't get it, and your thing was, I'm still here, 03:57 I haven't left and you haven't left so isn't 03:58 this what that's about? 04:00 It was one of those things and what is funny now from my 04:02 perspective is to say yes baby you're going to let me 04:05 love you, someday I will figure out how to love you. 04:07 - how to do it. - how to do it and it will be good for us both. 04:10 What I love about God, I absolutely love this about God, 04:14 is that God knew that through out our whole relationship 04:20 how damaged each of us were and knowing that as soon as 04:24 you ask, as soon as you honestly say what about me? 04:29 What is it about me that can change? 04:31 It's not about Brad, because I said that for years. 04:34 You have to change this guy because I can't. 04:37 I said that for years, and as soon as I said what about me 04:40 then God said we have something to work with now. 04:43 And as soon as we both said what about us, how are we going 04:47 to meet on the same page? I watched healing happen in such 04:51 a cool way. - it's has amazing, it's been amazing and 04:54 this is something I think is interesting. 04:56 We got this in our devotions awhile ago when we were 05:00 doing this, if you are in that situation where maybe it 05:03 is okay I am trying to look at me but what about the 05:06 other person and stuff? 05:08 You can't make me change, and I can't make you change. 05:11 But God can, so you if you are in a situation where you 05:15 are working on your stuff, or even if you're not, well 05:18 your deal is to pray for the other person. 05:20 - really bring it to God. - pray heartfelt that God 05:23 touched them in a way that God wants. 05:25 Not that I pray that Little Susie stop doing that, it's 05:30 not like that, that's not the kind of prayer. 05:32 You asked for God to intercede in their life because the 05:34 Holy Spirit does have the power to soften someone's heart. 05:38 What is really fun, seriously, when you do that to me, 05:41 when all of a sudden I'll be in the middle of something 05:43 where I have misunderstood him or took something wrong, 05:46 he said you know what? Can I just care for you right now? 05:49 It really messes up my anger, or my depression. 05:52 It really messes things up because I look at him and if 05:55 he is serious and he is looking at me in love saying 05:59 I want to care for you, I'm out. 06:01 Because that is what we all want, we want somebody to see 06:04 and care for us right now. 06:06 What has been really fun is to get that tool, and all 06:10 that tool is saying is that I'm going to learn to love 06:14 the people around me and if there is anything that gets 06:18 in my way I'm going to ask the Holy Spirit to remove it. 06:21 Take this from me, I'm done with it. 06:23 That's the thing I think is so missed, I'm not going to 06:27 say in all relationships, but it gets missed is the 06:31 dynamic that God really wants between a man and a woman 06:34 and what does it mean to be a man and woman? 06:36 How do you relate to each other? 06:38 And when you both start to get it to where you respect me and 06:41 I am actually taking care of your heart. 06:43 Everybody wins, everybody wins and then that generational 06:47 thing - even your kids want to hang out with you more. 06:50 Your friends want to come over more. 06:52 It's a matter of just saying when you see somebody healthy 06:57 and happy and genuine about who they are in their stuff. 07:01 When they look at you, you know that they care about you, 07:05 you want to be there, you want to be there. 07:07 I think for me that's recovery, that's actually the gospel. 07:11 It's not that I'm going to learn something and be able to 07:15 recite it, actually it's going to be a part of who I am. 07:19 I'm going to be free of what has trashed me and I'm going 07:24 to be able to receive what is going to give me life. 07:27 God has to give me life. - exactly and when you put that 07:30 into the marriage situation, you get a level of intimacy, 07:33 understanding that when you talk about heaven on earth 07:37 that is the whole idea I think. 07:39 And Brad is ridiculous now, I'm telling you just 07:43 ridiculous, he gets his hair done, and he's getting his 07:47 hair cut and he comes back and he says oh, the hairdresser 07:51 her husband is an alcoholic and cheating on her and they 07:55 just left, I had to pray with her. 07:58 I'm thinking, the hairdresser? I mean his heart is so 08:03 open before them, because he was so locked down 08:05 emotionally before that he wouldn't have seen her pain. 08:08 If you know what I mean, and I don't think you would have. 08:11 You wouldn't have seen her pain, and not only would he not 08:13 have seen her pain is that he would have been very matter 08:16 of fact about the response to it. 08:18 I don't she would have been open to tell you the emotional 08:22 details of it, but now you make sure she is working there 08:25 so you can comfort her just case something else as happened. 08:28 It's been an interesting adventure. 08:30 I should probably be worried about that. 08:34 I'm kidding, just kidding and I love you. 08:35 To me I think that is the part that the concept of fellowship 08:39 and a part of the command from Jesus is to go out and 08:42 fellowship with your brothers and what does that mean? 08:45 - love one another - love one another and fellowship. 08:48 Does that mean we always get together and have a meal? 08:51 It could be because eating is cool but if you see a need 08:55 from someone, whether you know them or not is can you 09:00 respond to that need in some capacity? 09:01 Funny story, a silly one, I was pulling into Wal-Mart 09:06 where we live in Idaho and there were two guys trying to 09:11 take a picture of each other in front of Wal-Mart. 09:13 One of them was in a wheelchair and one of them wasn't. 09:16 There was a situation going on and I thought how funny 09:18 take your portrait in front of Wal-Mart, what was special 09:21 about that? Everything was like man you need to park and 09:24 pull up and asked to take their picture together, 09:27 they were thrilled to death. 09:29 I thought how many of hundreds of people walking in and 09:32 out of here, it wasn't hard to figure out that this would 09:35 be a cool thing for them and I felt so honored that God's 09:38 Spirit had directed me to park my car and of course I got 09:40 one of my primo parking places right there which God 09:44 always gives me an to take their picture I was so honored 09:46 to be able to do that and you should have seen the 09:48 smiles on their faces. 09:49 Once you unload, and I think this whole season is about 09:53 that Brad, I know in our life it's about that. 09:55 Once you start getting out from underneath all your damage 10:00 that you are freed up to love the people around you, 10:04 including total strangers in front of Wal-Mart taking 10:08 pictures Brad has another thing he delights in this, to me I 10:12 don't think I would have ever even thought about it. 10:15 But you know sometimes how your headlights get, your 10:21 headlight covers get this cloudiness to them? 10:23 The light doesn't come through as much, it doesn't shoot 10:26 down the road as much, well Brad found this stuff that 10:29 magically clears that up. 10:31 So if he see something in the parking lot, if he sees a car 10:34 that's got those clouded head lights, and nobody has to be 10:37 in the car, he gets this stuff out and goes and fixes 10:40 it for them and puts it away and goes shopping. 10:42 The person doesn't even know what happened. 10:44 Sometimes I think somebody's going to walk out and catch him. 10:48 But I think as you come out from underneath that 10:53 judgmental, defiant, angry stuff, and it's not like 10:57 you were horrible, I love you, well sometimes you were horrible 11:03 It is as you come out from underneath all that I think 11:07 what God knows about you is you have such a great heart. 11:12 So what He is saying I want to fix that. 11:14 With my self-focus my fear and my neglect and I don't really 11:19 know how to trust people as I'm coming out from that 11:22 and God is healing me in that area, I am pulling people 11:25 into my life in such a cool way. 11:27 Our relationship is growing leaps and bounds and the goal 11:31 in recovery is to really be able to step back 11:36 into your life and enjoy it, really enjoy it and 11:40 to be able to bless people. 11:41 They did a study and I've mentioned this study before, 11:44 through denominational lines in the US. 11:46 The study was, what's the number one problem in the 11:50 Christian church right now? Throughout all denominations. 11:54 They found out that the number one problem throughout all 11:57 denominations in the Christian churches is loneliness. 12:03 And Jesus said, love one another and yet we are lonely, 12:09 even if we are in a crowd, 12:10 a lot of us are lonely and because we are so locked up 12:13 with all these different issues that we don't know 12:16 how to love one another. 12:17 So I think in our recovery what God is saying is let Me 12:21 unlock your heart, not so you can stargaze at your own 12:25 heart, but so you can reach out to the heart of the people 12:28 around you. - and let the light shine out to me that 12:31 was real interesting the concept. 12:35 I almost was a crisis point this summer with you and I and 12:37 the message I got basically saying to me is that I know 12:39 we've been together this long but I'm lonely. 12:41 You are not caring for that part of me. 12:45 And what's crazy is that after 22 years together, and with 12:48 the willingness of both of us to take a look at all this 12:52 stuff is that I truly believe we love each other more now 12:55 than we ever have and that the best is ahead. 12:58 That is just a crazy place to be is after 20 years we're 13:02 just getting started, figuring it out in on a honeymoon 13:06 again, and just starting to figure all that out. 13:08 Then you start, in my mind, you're starting to be really 13:13 clear and God says you seen the light and walk in the 13:15 light, but if you are stumbling around in darkness 13:18 you are lying to yourself. 13:20 When we get this and really start to unlock our hearts 13:23 where we just care about the people around us. 13:25 It doesn't matter if we have ever single person you see Hey 13:28 come stay at my house, that's not what that means but 13:31 that's the gospel when people talk about let your light shine. 13:34 It has happened in the home first, 13:36 It has to happen in the home. 13:38 You know Brad were going to open it up for questions 13:40 because we have talked about opening up for questions and 13:43 so I want to do that. 13:46 But what I want to say more than anything is recovery 13:50 has to happen for each of us in order for us to be well 13:55 and love each other and to step into a place where the 13:59 joy of the Lord is our strength. 14:01 I know there is a lot of questions in the café. 14:05 Palischer let's start with you. 14:07 Wow, I was just listening and when you talked about the 14:11 headlights stuff then my questions shifted and I want to 14:15 know what is that my headlights - you have to come out 14:19 to my car. - but has really been interesting and I just love 14:23 how Brad is open to talk and say the things that are 14:28 happening between you and him. 14:29 It is wonderful for you to share it. 14:30 It is all about relationships and how we look inside 14:33 ourselves, that's what you're theme is now and I'm 14:36 thinking about you can't even begin to do the things you are 14:41 doing to make your relationship grow until you do get some of 14:46 that stuff out of your blind spots. 14:49 You have to be able to see what is in your blind spot and 14:52 have the Holy Spirit bring it out of you so you can see 14:54 what it is in you that needs fixing. 14:56 Working on yourself is always first and I mean I just love 15:01 to see that and it works not only in marital relationships 15:06 but relationships in general. 15:08 Friendships and what is really interesting about 15:10 you saying that is the fact that as those things come 15:15 out of those blind spots, as we deal with that it is 15:19 amazing for me to look at Brad, and I hope he looks 15:23 at me and says, you know what I just adore you. 15:26 But one of the times, and I really, it probably increased 15:31 my trust in Brad 1000% is that at one point Brad said 15:36 I just saw a video clip of an early Christmas thing with 15:40 the family and he said I watched this video clip. 15:43 Of course he was mad about something in the clip, 15:45 and he said I don't like that guy, 15:47 I just don't like that guy. 15:49 As he started to break denial about that, he saw his anger 15:53 and saw what it has done to him and to us and really started 15:58 to fight to get that out of his life. 16:00 The fight has increased my love for you and my trust in you. 16:05 Another thing I want to say this again, I said it before, 16:09 but it is speaking to the men and to the guys. 16:11 Societally, generationally, culturally we are taught 16:17 not to feel, not to express, we're taught not to care. 16:21 So it really is one of those things where in some cases 16:26 you almost say it is really not our fault. 16:28 But that doesn't excuse not wanting to figure that out. 16:33 I don't think there is a single guy out there that doesn't 16:37 want to have some woman adore him and think 16:40 he is all that. - exactly, exactly. 16:43 I know guys will enough to know that is part of the deal. 16:46 So if you start to figure this out that is the response 16:50 you are going to get. 16:51 It is like one of those things, there is really no risk, 16:55 the risk is some personal pain I suppose, as you look at 16:58 that stuff, I guess I wasn't totally truthful there. 17:01 There is some pain but the risk is really marginal because 17:04 the Holy Spirit is going to walk you through it. 17:07 God is going to be with you and the payoff is huge. 17:09 - it's huge. - it's huge. 17:11 We have another question from the café so Ashley I know 17:15 that you had a question. 17:17 Yeah, what advice would you give to someone like myself 17:21 who has family and friends that are in that lockdown mode 17:24 and they can't see it? 17:26 What can we do for all the other people out there that 17:30 can see it in their families and friends? 17:32 What can we do to help? 17:33 - They are huge in denial. - they are completely in 17:35 denial about it? 17:36 A big stick, a really big stick. - So off with his head? 17:41 There you go. - we spoke about this a little bit earlier 17:45 and while there is certainly a number of things you can do 17:49 one is be the light, be a light for them. 17:53 As your behavior changes, and you are grounded in that, 17:56 I know that you are, I admire you so much. 17:58 As you are grounded in that, and they see you walk the 18:04 walk, they can't but at some point say I want a piece of that 18:10 I don't know what it is, and even though I may be locked 18:13 up and angry and all that stuff I still cannot deny that 18:16 you have changed and you are happier, I see you at peace 18:19 and grounded and so part is walking the walk and being 18:23 convicted yourself as an example. 18:24 The others to pray for them, that the power of the Holy 18:27 Spirit, and I've used this before in my own thing. 18:31 I forget which one of the disciples said pray for your 18:35 enemies is like dumping hot coals on their head. 18:37 I like that part, but a case where people you love 18:39 you don't want them to be hot coals you like them to 18:41 be little flower petals or something. 18:44 But when you pray for them it allows the Holy Spirit 18:47 to intercede in their life. 18:49 One of the things I have to say about prayer, 18:52 what somebody feels like is when they get down to where 18:55 all they have is prayer they feel like that is the last 18:59 thing that they have, it is so powerful. 19:03 Really confront the fact do I believe there is a God in 19:07 heaven I do I believe that this God loves them 19:10 more than I love them? 19:12 And do I believe that they are locked up? 19:15 Actually I love the way you said that because it is 19:18 really painful to be in a relationship with somebody 19:21 that is really damaged and really locked down. 19:23 I prayed for Brad for 14 years before he saw his anger 19:27 at all, if you know what I mean? 19:28 So a long time and that is a really painful thing. 19:32 But asking God even for yourself to get a sense, 19:36 to have your heart break for how stuck they are. 19:39 Do you know what I mean? So like the first time my mom 19:44 and I had just been an abusive relationship emotionally mostly 19:50 for years and years and years. 19:51 But I started praying for her and God put me in front of 19:55 a girl that lives in Australia that had all these kids 19:58 and had them young and all that stuff. 20:01 They lived in all this chaos at one point when I was 20:04 looking at her life and all the chaos God said your mom 20:08 had it worse than that. 20:10 She had to raise you kids in that and all of a sudden 20:14 I saw my mom instead of the villain, I saw my mom as this 20:19 little kid trying to raise kids in an abusive relationship 20:23 and she just couldn't do it. 20:25 So my heart broke for her. So when our heart starts to 20:28 break for the people around us that are locked up, 20:31 we treat them different, we respond to them different. 20:35 With my mom I know that when I call her I'm going to get 20:37 sometimes right now, we've been at this for a long time, 20:40 sometimes they get good stuff, most of the time I'm going 20:43 to get that negative stuff, right? But I love her. 20:48 Such a start asking for your heart to be broken for them. 20:52 What I think is really cool with you and your mom, I as 20:55 the man trying to stand up and provide spiritual protection 20:59 for the household as a whole, a healing for the household. 21:03 It's funny because I'm the last to male in my family, 21:06 so my household extends out to my sisters and all that stuff 21:09 They are married but I still have some spiritual 21:12 authority in that area which is crazy. 21:14 All of a sudden things are happening on a level with 21:17 your mom - because we pray for her every day. 21:19 We pray for her every day but the fact that last Christmas 21:21 you got flowers from her was unbelievable. 21:25 Her mom has never sent her anything when the flowers come 21:27 she thought they were from me. Did you get me some flowers? 21:29 - We were so broke. he said no I didn't. 21:32 Now I actually didn't, and who are they from and I opened 21:34 the card first and I started crying because her mom, 21:37 your mom has never sent you anything like that. 21:40 And missing you wishing you were here. 21:42 Yeah that has never happened - that's just crazy. 21:45 So to be one of the things that is absolutely incredible 21:48 is the fact that when anybody blinks, when anybody tries 21:52 to do recovery, when you start doing changes within your 21:56 own life, not with anybody else's life. 21:58 I couldn't change you at all, you had to see it and God had 22:01 to do it, the only role I played was try to love you 22:05 without damaging you too much with my stuff. 22:08 - I thought you were the thorn in my side? I'm just kidding. 22:15 But what's really funny about all this stuff is 22:18 that it is, what happens when we actually decide that I'm 22:24 going to do this, I'm going to do this. 22:26 I'm going to get well, and not kind of love the people 22:30 around me, I want to love them. 22:33 I want them to know, Ashley you as my friend I want you to 22:36 know that you are loved by me and I want you to know that 22:40 I am thrilled that you are in my life. 22:42 I love the fact that when we see each other, we haven't 22:46 seen each other for a while. 22:47 You live in Canada and I live in the states, but when we 22:50 see each other we get to say, man I've missed you and talk 22:53 100 miles an hour, I love that but the only way I'm going 22:56 to get that honestly is to do my own work. 22:59 The only way I'm going to do that well is to ask God, my 23:03 higher power, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit to guide me. 23:06 Let me see my blind spots because I don't want to be bound 23:09 up anymore, I done believing the lies of the devil and I am 23:13 done believing that I'm not going to be loved or have 23:15 a relationship, I am going to have that. 23:19 Brad you are going to have that, we are okay because God 23:22 said I will fulfill the work that I started in you. 23:25 Exactly, exactly. - it's not even us. - Exactly. 23:29 So that's one of the things when you kind of gain some 23:33 momentum in this, you start to be able to see your blind 23:36 spots, allow the Holy Spirit to come in and start working and 23:39 pretty soon that's all cleaned up and then as things get 23:42 cleaner the dirty spots show up easier and you can spot 23:45 them quicker and sooner. 23:47 As you feel the freedom then you are really wanting to get 23:50 rid of that other stuff when you see it. 23:51 I like that thing about rocks. 23:53 Yeah it is just to be willing you may have been walking down 23:57 this path for long time but at some point you have to start 24:00 pulling rocks up and seeing what's underneath them. 24:03 Ah man I don't want to look at that, but until you turn 24:07 them over you are not going to know what is there. 24:10 Well a lot of people, especially fourth step, it's a lot of 24:13 recovery places and it's called the dreaded fourth step. 24:18 Because it is so tough to look at maybe my anger, or it is 24:22 tough to look at the fact that I have been just horrible 24:27 at times to the people that have loved me. 24:29 Because I've been so self focused and had really got to 24:32 stand up in their own life kind of thing. 24:34 You start looking at that and it hurts you. 24:37 Something really hurts you when you see your own self and focus 24:41 on your own injuries, but God says I'm not doing this to 24:45 hurt you, I'm doing this so you can have life 24:47 and have it more abundantly. 24:49 I'm doing this so you can really get everything back. 24:54 When you start to trust God, because trust has to start 24:58 the relationships and all that stuff, but ultimately 25:01 I have to trust God, God is bigger than all the stuff 25:05 and can get me through. 25:06 When you start trusting God, God says I will take the 25:09 crazy stuff that you have, I will take your anger and 25:11 turn it around and you will still have some anger but it 25:14 will be good, it will be anger at world hunger, anger at 25:18 some of the injustices that will motivate you to stand up. 25:21 So your anger is still going to be there, your sexuality 25:25 I will untwist it so you won't have the perversion and 25:28 I will give you sexuality back because we are sexual beings. 25:31 But I'm going to fix it and give it back to you so that 25:35 you can love and laugh at people around you. 25:37 I think another thing is as you step into this process is 25:41 realize, and I will speak for myself right now, I had a 25:44 myriad of things where you start to uncover one thing and 25:47 suddenly something else comes up and you think I didn't 25:49 know I had an issue over there. 25:50 So for me, as you cleaned them up you'll find okay that 25:54 was pretty good, it's pretty stable and then this one pops 25:57 up and you got to go work on this one and come over there. 26:02 I had issues again judgmental, anger, sexuality, arrogance, 26:06 yea I know you like that one. 26:08 arrogance - because I think you got that from your folks too. 26:12 Oh I know I did, bless her heart, most of that came from 26:14 my mom, - and most of it came from her mom. 26:18 - it came from her mom, she was born in a tiny little 26:20 town in northern Wisconsin of 250 people and all the 26:23 girls by the time they were out of high school were 26:25 pregnant and married to someone working in the sawmill. 26:28 They didn't want that, they wanted some better for their 26:31 daughter and that was really out of their version of love. 26:34 So she wasn't allowed to play with the kids, she was better 26:36 and sent off to boarding school and so this we-ism was 26:41 handed down to me without even my knowledge about it until 26:45 much, much, much later. 26:46 Underlying pain with arrogance was that she was always 26:49 lonely, do you know what I mean? She didn't have friends. 26:53 Couldn't have friends in all its stuff so it is pretty 26:55 amazing that it is like every single thing that comes with 27:00 this one major issue, but like you said it's under the 27:02 rock or over the rock or however you want to say it that 27:05 is all these other issues and what God says is when 27:08 you are free you are going to feel lighter. 27:10 You're going to feel lighter, you're going to feel that 27:14 when you do share your recovery or what the gospel 27:16 growth is all about, because God delights in our recovery. 27:20 He knows that when we stop believing the lies that all this 27:24 stuff really falls away from us. - it does, it really 27:27 does, and then what you wind up with is two people that 27:30 truly love each other, the concept of becoming one 27:34 flesh and walking as one entity, walking in the 27:37 light is just amazing. 27:39 It really is amazing. - you know if there is some things 27:42 we can do to resolve all these things we have been talking 27:45 about, so if you find yourself in the place where you have 27:48 anger and are locked up you'll want to take steps to 27:52 resolve your bitterness, to resolve your rebellion, to 27:55 resolve your anger, and forgive those around you. 27:57 If you are willing to take those steps and do that you will 28:00 start to be able to express your love freely without 28:02 anger, without conditions around it. 28:04 You will be able to forgive very easily without being 28:07 offended yourself, which is an interesting place to be. 28:10 What is really cool is when you clean that up your loved 28:13 ones in your family will want to start hanging around 28:16 with you. - it's amazing. - amazing. 28:19 You know it's funny on this program we have taken it all 28:23 way down to the wire. So I'm going to just try to, 28:26 first of all I want to say thank you for being in my life 28:29 and thank you for being on the program. 28:30 Thank you for working so hard Brad and I want to say as your 28:34 wife, as the mother of your children you have 28:36 changed our household with your fighting for this recovery 28:39 and I want to say thank you for that. 28:41 I'm so honored it's unbelievable I know that God put us 28:45 together for reason and it is really fun to watch 28:48 Him unfold that. - that's cool. 28:50 I just want to say again is recovery, this fourth step, 28:55 this looking at your own issues is not an easy step but 28:59 you get everything back. 29:01 I know we have said that over and over and over on this 29:04 segment, but you get everything back, you get everything. 29:06 You get family, you get friends, you get your laughter, 29:09 you get your health because sometimes with all of our junk, 29:13 our blood pressure is trashed and we get health issues as 29:17 we stop going outside as much, as we stop our hobbies 29:20 those kind of things, well you will get all that back. 29:23 I want you to fight for your recovery, let God directed it 29:27 I want you to fight for it, I want you to write us and let 29:31 us know if you get any kind of insights that you start 29:34 working on and get any kind of relief from that. 29:37 Write to us and let us know. 29:38 Until then always remember that God is crazy about you, 29:41 we are too, God bless and we'll see you next time and 29:44 remember fight for it, don't let anybody rob you. |
Revised 2014-12-17