Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Megan Baez, Mylynda Ortiz
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR00096B
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00:15 Welcome back! We are talking to a group from
00:18 Teen Challenge, Teen Challenge is a ministry that works 00:22 with, and it sounds like were working with only teens. 00:25 Not true, they work with people from every age, 00:28 I think it started out with just teens and we will find 00:30 out a little bit about that later. 00:33 We will talk to Apryl one of the directors. 00:35 But now, they work with all ages and I went a few months 00:40 ago and talked with Teen Challenge group out of 00:43 Massachusetts, and I never say that right. 00:45 I don't know how to say that, but you know it is that 00:48 part of the country, but I talked with this group and 00:51 met these girls and invited them on the program. 00:53 I am glad they came, I love them. 00:55 When I met them I feel like I am talking to myself. 00:58 I am looking at their struggles and looking at the fact 01:03 that they may be have to feel and deal with the hurts 01:07 in their lives for the first time ever. They are 01:09 going to deal with whether they were abandoned by a Father 01:12 or they were loved, or their home was functional or 01:15 dysfunctional, what their anger issues are. 01:18 The fact that they acted out in certain ways. 01:20 The drugs they took, the relationships they got into 01:23 far too early and they are looking at all of that. 01:26 I'm looking at them thinking you know what? 01:28 I'm so glad you landed in a place that is going to help 01:32 you to do that safely. 01:34 That was just cool to me and I want to introduce you to 01:37 Megan, and Megan thank you for coming on and thank you 01:41 for sharing with us your stuff. 01:42 You are living at Teen Challenge now? - yes. 01:46 Did you go because you thought I'd like to go to 01:50 Teen Challenge? I was actually told that I have to go. 01:53 Whether or not I wanted to go or not, I had to go. 01:56 Really, they just said like you are going? - yes. 01:58 So tell me where you came from and then we will get to 02:02 that point where somebody said this is where you are going. 02:05 So what was your home like... Life like! 02:10 I first living with my mom until the age of 02:15 six in New York. 02:17 She was a drug addict. - your mom was? - my mom was a drug 02:20 Did you know that at six? - I didn't know until I grew up. 02:24 I didn't know what was going on and I wasn't aware what she 02:27 was doing or anything she was doing until I had grown up 02:31 and they had told me what really had happened. 02:33 So early on, even though you were living with her did it 02:38 seemed normal or was your normal just kind of crazy? 02:42 To me it seemed normal because I was younger I didn't 02:46 know what, like what she was doing. 02:48 I just knew that she never really paid much attention 02:51 to me. - okay. - every time I would see people around 02:54 the house and I don't know who they were, or what they were 02:57 doing, but I would notice that my mom would not even look 03:00 at me. - okay, so that you knew. 03:03 To me I just want to as a little girl, I just want to say 03:07 I'm sorry, it's almost like you, do you ever get the sense 03:10 that you just want to hold that little girl? 03:12 And say I am sorry, so your mom would have people in and 03:16 out and you had no idea who they were so you just kind of 03:19 stayed out of the way? - yes. - okay, you learned 03:22 that pretty young? - yes. 03:24 What happened at six? Did you get taken from the house? 03:28 Well at six my mom started going out of control with 03:32 drugs, and she eventually lost her apartment. 03:34 Most importantly lost her children which was me and my 03:38 older sister and older brother and she had gave full 03:43 custody of us to my aunt, because she didn't want us 03:46 to go to a complete stranger so she decided to send 03:49 me to my aunt. - okay, at least that part was good, aye? 03:53 Yeah so we were actually lucky to be with family instead of 03:58 someone who was a stranger and didn't even know who 04:00 they are. - a lot of people go to foster homes and 04:02 they don't know who they are and I hear that over and 04:05 over, I went to a foster home and didn't fit in and 04:08 they didn't know me and I didn't know them. 04:10 So I am glad that you got to go with your auntie. 04:14 So what happened with them? What was it like to all of 04:17 a sudden to have a new home and maybe people that actually 04:20 paid attention to you? 04:22 Well I started to feel that there was nobody in my life. 04:25 Like I felt unwanted, because I never had my father by my 04:29 side, I never actually knew my father until I was 12. 04:34 And she was like you're father just called me up on the 04:37 phone and wants to speak to you, and I'm like who is this? 04:40 I don't know, you sound like a complete stranger to me. 04:43 So I actually spoke to him at the age of 12. 04:47 What was he like? - he was like nothing I really 04:51 expected him to be. 04:53 Like you would want to say I love you but it was hard for 04:55 me to say I love you back because I was saying it to 04:57 a complete stranger and I don't know who you are and 05:00 I can't hug you and kiss you like a real father. 05:02 Because I don't, where were you? 05:06 Did you ask him that? Where were you all this time? 05:10 I still don't know some things that I want to know. 05:13 But he told me he went to Florida to take care of his 05:16 mom and stuff like that. - okay, one of these days 05:20 you are going to ask him those things you want to know? 05:22 Yeah. - where is mom at? 05:24 My mom now, she has recovered and she is not doing drugs 05:28 anymore and she has an apartment and now she is in 05:31 my life and I see her like anytime I want to. 05:34 Wow, so let's go back to when you were with your aunt. 05:40 Your dad comes in like age 12, when did you start having 05:45 your own problems outside of what was going on with them? 05:49 Because you know as a kid we think we are never going 05:53 to be that, I'm never going to do drugs. 05:55 I'm not going to be like my parents. 05:57 Did you ever say that? Because I said that as a kid. 06:00 I'm never going to do that. 06:02 Yeah I actually thought I would never do anything, 06:04 I thought it would ruin my life. 06:06 But I started to feel angry that I didn't have my mother 06:10 or my father by my side and I felt lost and unwanted. 06:14 So I soon started hurting myself and cutting myself. 06:18 It continued until I was 15. - what did cutting do? 06:22 It, to me, really stressed an anger. 06:26 Like if you got to angry I could cut on myself, at least 06:30 seeing the blood or feeling that pain that it just gave me 06:34 a release, a sense of being present. 06:38 Because some people think, I know a lot of people think 06:42 that is like a suicide attempt, but it is not a suicide 06:46 attempt, it's just I want attention. 06:49 It's not that I don't want to feel so stressed, I don't want 06:54 to be in this much pain. 06:55 Did you feel that? It's kind of a solution to that? 07:00 Yeah I did, I felt like there was nothing I could do 07:05 to make my life better. 07:07 So I didn't want to take it out on my aunt, I wasn't 07:11 the type of person to disrespect her. 07:13 Like I would listen to her, but I felt like there was 07:16 nothing I could do and I would take anything possible 07:18 that was near me to hurt myself or cut myself. 07:21 Did you sometimes cut yourself even while somebody was in 07:25 the room? Were they didn't even know? - no! 07:27 Some people do that even, it's like nobody knows 07:31 I'm cutting myself right now, you know? 07:33 So you didn't want to take it out on her, so you took it 07:38 out on yourself. - yes. - did it work? 07:43 I thought it would but it didn't help at all. 07:46 It just seemed to make things worse. 07:48 Because I always say that because I know in my own life 07:51 that it didn't work. Just continues to get worse. 07:54 So as it got worse what does that look like in your life? 07:57 It just made like, it just made things worse in my 08:02 family, like they didn't know at the beginning I was 08:07 doing it and so one time I was in my room and I was angry. 08:10 Most of the time they would leave me alone in my room and 08:14 say she's angry and not even go into the room. 08:16 They stepped into my room where I was actually cutting 08:20 myself and they stepped in and took my arm and started 08:24 putting pressure on it. - right. 08:25 Then they knew everything because I can see you have scars 08:29 on your arms. - yes, they are just scars, never went away. 08:33 So is that why they brought you to Teen Challenge? 08:38 Well that is part of the reason why they sent me here. 08:44 But, - even thinking about that time causes you to feel 08:49 sad, doesn't it? - yeah. 08:51 What's the sadness? Where does that come from? 08:53 My family. - that it is just hard, it really is hard. 09:01 Yeah. - do you want to have a prayer before we go on? 09:10 Sure. - okay, dear Father in Jesus name, there is so 09:16 much sadness, so many broken homes, but right now I am 09:22 praying for Megan and I am just asking You for the places 09:27 that she is so hurt, she was so lost, the times she felt 09:31 so abandon, I just pray Father that Your heart opens up 09:35 to her and she feels it. 09:37 I pray for healing of her heart, I pray God tell her how much 09:41 You love her and how much You adore her and how much 09:44 You have never stopped thinking about her. 09:47 You are sad about what she has gone through and let her 09:50 get a sense of where You were that whole time. 09:52 I just ask You Father that as she stands up in recovery 09:56 that she will never feel alone again. 09:58 She will never feel abandoned again and that anger she can 10:01 give freely to You and she doesn't have to hurt herself 10:04 and just can freely grab hold of the life that You are 10:08 going to offer her. 10:09 I pray for the Holy Spirit to fill her up. 10:11 I pray for healing in every part of her mind and heart 10:15 and her body and I just ask You Father in Jesus name 10:18 that as she stands up and helps the people around her 10:22 that she will heal more, and more, and more. 10:24 I pray for anybody watching and just ask You that as 10:27 people are watching the program it is hard to look at her 10:30 sadness, but we can get on the other side of it and that 10:33 is the most incredible thing about Your love for us and 10:38 I pray for You to let Your love for us, let us feel it to 10:42 the point that we don't even have to stand in the places 10:45 of abandonment and the places of hopelessness. 10:48 In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit 10:50 I just ask all of that. In Jesus name Amen! 10:59 You know I can tell just by talking to you that your pain 11:05 was very deep. - yeah. - and at that point in your 11:09 life and you are dealing with those deep hurts is that 11:13 did you finally just start to go and act out? 11:18 Did you jump into the drugs yourself? 11:21 Well, I started hanging out with people who I thought was 11:25 my real friends, but they introduced me to things, into 11:31 marijuana and I thought, they told me you will feel fine 11:36 with just doing this. 11:38 I decided okay let me just try it, it is not a big deal. 11:40 So I tried it and I felt good, I felt great. 11:46 It's nothing that I normally felt. 11:48 So I started to do that, even though I knew I was not 11:53 addicted to it and could live without it, I just did it 11:58 whenever I was angry. Thank you. 12:01 What is really interesting is that is where a lot of 12:03 people don't realize is that you have all this hurt, 12:07 all this pain and all this anger and somebody gives you 12:11 some weed to smoke and I am laughing and connecting with 12:14 people and it doesn't seem that intense and it works. 12:18 Initially it works, after a while it becomes a problem. 12:21 But at first it works. 12:25 You started to connect with friends. - yes, and they 12:32 at the age of 14 I started to go to parties and drinking alcohol. 12:36 I just wanted to have fun, and I thought that was the fun 12:40 that everybody has so why couldn't I have that fun? 12:44 That felt a lot better than cutting on yourself. 12:48 And I don't want to sound like I am saying that was 12:52 a great choice, but I'm saying the choices you had was 12:57 that I am alone and cutting on myself or I'm angry or I'm 13:01 out having a great time with my friends and just 13:03 drinking and forgetting everything. 13:05 And so for you it sounds like I found something that 13:10 works. - yeah, so the reason why I started to leave 13:15 the house when I wanted and started going to parties and 13:18 stuff like that because my aunt never really thought 13:22 I was old enough to be with friends and go out to places 13:26 that I wanted to, she kept me from all that. 13:29 So I decided to just leave, I start running away and 13:33 it made things worse. 13:35 Because you were running away and staying at different 13:38 friends house, staying wherever? 13:39 Whenever I ran away I would mostly run away to be with 13:43 a boyfriend. - okay. - but I would actually stay 13:47 with the boyfriend the whole day but then go to my moms and 13:50 stay with my mom. I always wanted to live with my mom. 13:54 I use that as an excuse for my running away but that 13:59 wasn't the main excuse why I ran away. 14:01 It was mainly to be with friends? - your boyfriend? 14:04 Was her mom still using then? - no! - okay so 14:07 at that point she had stopped? - yeah I was 14-15. 14:12 Okay, so who said enough? I mean who said enough? 14:16 We have got to get you some help? - my aunt. 14:20 Okay. - she at the time she knew I was in a bad 14:24 relationship with my last boyfriend before I came here. 14:28 Because he was 18, so she thought no this can't be. 14:32 This was illegal, anything I was with, the stuff that 14:35 was illegal she was not for at all, of course. 14:38 So she said I can't see you destroy your life and go 14:42 even further in destroying your life so she decided, 14:45 Megan I'm going to send you to a boarding school. 14:48 So I am thinking it's just a boarding school where we 14:52 could talk on phones, go on the Internet. - surprise. 14:57 Yeah, but the day I woke up and I was in my mom's house 15:02 because before I came here in September she let me stay 15:08 with my mom to see if I would do better with her. 15:10 But instead of taking it as my last chance to turn my whole 15:14 life around and I continue to do whatever I wanted to do. 15:17 So she said Megan you are going to Teen Challenge and 15:21 I was shocked, and she actually told me that was going 15:25 to happen. - before you went? - that day she told me. 15:29 There's no Internet, no phones and you are not going 15:33 to be around friends for a while. 15:35 You can't even contact your family at first, because 15:38 they really don't want, they want you here's the program 15:41 and they really want you to do the program. 15:43 Well we were allowed to get letters from my mom and my 15:47 aunt, but I wasn't supposed to send letters out or like 15:51 on the phone or anything until my month was made. 15:54 So that time in Teen Challenge I felt like I didn't want 16:01 to listen to anything, I felt angry, I didn't want to. 16:07 - you're not telling me what to do. 16:09 I don't want to stay here. - but I just thought go along 16:13 with the rules and soon I just came out of control and 16:17 started to not even listen to what they did and stayed in 16:22 bed and eventually received my consequences which was a 30 16:26 day restriction which means I can't have any phone calls 16:30 or any mail from any of my family until 30 days are over. 16:33 You know your are going to laugh at this. 16:35 There is a program in Idaho and is called Project Patch. 16:39 And I love the program too, but they if you don't do the 16:43 program, they give you a tent and a can of beans or 16:45 something and a can opener and you can just stay out 16:48 on the property in a tent. - wow! 16:50 So they say if you can't follow the rules in the house 16:53 here you go, and the person is like you are not going to 16:55 make me stay in a tent? Oh yes! We are. 16:57 To me it is a brilliant because it is like, you know, 17:01 then they always come and say okay I will follow the rules 17:05 but it is like that sense of, I think in our own anger and 17:08 rebellion and all that kind of stuff, at least for me in 17:12 my life, is I didn't know how to deal with authority. 17:15 I didn't know how to let people be in those positions 17:19 over me because it would just make me mad. 17:21 It's like somebody has to teach us again how to allow 17:26 people to be an authority without getting mad. 17:29 That takes a while. 17:31 - yes. - so for you it took a while. 17:33 Yes it took a while, but I am only actually two months 17:40 in the program. - that's it? - that's it. 17:42 After that 30 day restriction I realized I'm not leaving 17:47 this is probably what God has called me to do. 17:50 You knew that in your heart? - in my heart. 17:53 - I'm so proud of you. - thank you. 17:58 Last month, February, I accepted God in the church which, 18:04 the church I love and feel comfortable in. 18:08 God I just am sorry for every- thing I've done, I don't want 18:12 to go back to anything I have done and just that my whole 18:16 life over, and just be with You and know that 18:19 You are there for me. 18:20 Did you sense His forgiveness? - yes. - yeah. 18:23 You know that is what I think is amazing to me. 18:26 God says I am so glad you are home. 18:28 It was hard watching you get hurt, and it was hard 18:31 watching you hurt yourself. 18:33 I'm proud of you, and I'm proud of God. 18:35 So you turned it over, and pretty quick, you turned it 18:39 over and you are going to stay and do the program and 18:43 you get your life back. - yeah. 18:46 When I was there and talked about does anybody want to do 18:50 ministry your hand went up. - yeah. 18:52 So your hand went up and you do want to do ministry. 18:54 What is it going to look like? Do you have any sense 18:57 of what you would like to do? 18:59 Well my brother had done something like that, but he had 19:03 went to Nicaragua where he helped people and build houses 19:07 and I was like he showed me pictures of stuff like that 19:11 and that sounds really cool and interesting so I wanted to 19:14 help people, not only just because I know how it is, 19:19 but to help people who are struggling in any way. 19:22 In anyway, because you know what is interesting is that 19:26 somebody will say that the things you did as far as your 19:29 acting out, as far as your anger and drugs or whatever, 19:33 that the core issue for you, because we are looking at 19:38 this whole season one core issues. 19:39 The core issue for you is you didn't feel loved or cared 19:43 for or wanted, and that is kind of a universal thing. 19:47 I mean that is every country you can find kids that 19:50 nobody is taking care of, so it sounds like your heart 19:53 is really for those kids. - yeah. - wow! 19:56 So as you stand up, as you do your recovery God can open 20:00 up the world for you as far as to help someone else. 20:04 Yes! - are you excited about that? - I am, I just 20:08 want any opportunity I get I want to do it right away. 20:11 You want to help God. - yes. 20:13 I want to talk with Apryl, because Apryl is your director 20:17 for the house that you are in. 20:18 So I want to just talk and say you know Apryl that she 20:23 just won my heart, she just won my heart and I think she 20:27 won the heart of people all over the world. 20:29 Just that sincerity of wanting to come back to God and to 20:33 do the right thing and stand up. 20:35 The understanding that she was so forgiven, but I know 20:39 that you are the director of the Teen Challenge she is in 20:43 so I want you to say a little bit about that facility and 20:46 about the girls that spoke today. 20:49 Well Cheri our program, we have programs all over the 20:52 United States, but our program which is located in 20:56 Fitchburg Massachusetts is a 15 month minimum residential 20:59 program. - minimum? - minimum, so for many it takes 21:03 more than the 15 months and over the long term that is 21:06 where you see the real change. 21:08 And it is unfortunate that it has to be so long but really 21:12 that is where we have seen the greatest changes in those 21:16 final months when they do begin to take that 21:19 responsibility and put it into action at home, on visits, 21:23 seeing their families, and as their old patterns are 21:26 falling away even in their old scenarios, even in their 21:29 own environments, when they are back in their own bedroom. 21:32 The fact that Megan is not going to go to her room and cut 21:36 anymore is going to be a place of sanctuary for her. 21:38 It is going to be a place where she can go get rest 21:41 instead of being a place of unrest and a place where 21:45 she took matters into her own hands, she will be able 21:48 to give thanks to the Lord there. 21:50 That is where we see so much of the change coming is at 21:55 the end of the program. 21:56 But just like here, you have Megan who is so new in our 22:00 program, God can get a hold of a heart just like that. 22:04 So it is such an amazing privilege to be able to work 22:08 with young ladies just like these girls that are here today. 22:11 Who are making the change, God is making the change in 22:16 them and so our program has school element enrollment, 22:19 you know they are in school with us while they are with 22:23 us, and they are also receiving counseling by a licensed 22:26 Christian counselor while they are with us at the program. 22:29 Then you have dedicated residential staff members who 22:32 are there to be able to meet the needs through out the shifts. 22:36 Whether they be in the evening, the daytime, 22:38 over the weekend, we have very dedicated staff 22:41 who are there as well. 22:43 And so it really is our program in a nutshell, and it 22:46 really is a privilege to be able to work with Young ladies 22:50 whose hearts are being changed and it is such a privilege. 22:54 What an incredible job, I think what a lot of 22:59 people don't get to see in their own job is that a life 23:03 change, where you know that this person is not only have 23:06 they changed, but they are going to make a difference in 23:09 the community they are in. 23:10 When they have their families, their families are not 23:13 going to have the same dys- function, or the same heartache, 23:15 or the same junk and I just love what you guys do. 23:20 I love what you guys do. 23:21 I am blessed by your journey so far and I know that, 23:27 how old are you now? - 15. - you're just 15 23:30 so you're still a baby, but you are still a baby 23:38 and I am so excited. 23:39 We are going to go ahead and take a break and come back 23:44 and I would like for you to come back and also for Mylynda 23:49 to come back and talk about a little bit about what you 23:53 want to do in ministry, but Megan I would also ask you 23:57 to when we come back I want you to say a few things to maybe 24:03 somebody that is listening that has that heartbreak and 24:06 they don't feel like anybody sees them or loves them or 24:09 that kind of thing. 24:10 What would you say to her and what do you know now that 24:14 you didn't know then that you could just encourage them 24:17 with? And Mylynda, I know you talked about your dad in 24:21 the different things that you have gone through and we 24:24 come back I would like to talk a little bit about how you 24:27 are dealing with the pain of his death and your recovery. 24:30 Because you are doing a lot of things all at one time. 24:33 I would like to find out that. 24:36 So we will be right back and as we take this break think 24:41 about in your own life, these girls are looking at some 24:45 painful issues and they are looking at them not because 24:49 it is fun, not because they don't have anything to do but 24:53 because if they don't get rid of these issues, if they 24:56 don't unload these core things they will be tripped up the 24:59 rest of their life and the next generation will have to 25:02 do the same battle. 25:04 Right now they are brave enough to do the battle not only 25:08 for them, but for generations to come. 25:10 I just think it's just too cool. 25:13 We will be right back, stay with us! |
Revised 2014-12-17