Participants: Jay Rosario & Daniel McGrath (Host), Ariel Roldan
Series Code: E
Program Code: E000017
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00:20 Hello, I'm Jay Rosario, and welcome to Engage.
00:23 Joining me is my good friend Dan McGrath 00:25 who is our co-host. 00:27 Dan, who are you, and what you are doing here? 00:28 I'm Daniel McGrath, I'm new pastor 00:30 up in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, 00:32 just very happy to be here and joining the show today. 00:35 This series is a very, very special series, 00:37 because we're gonna be looking 00:38 at some highly relevant subjects 00:41 dealing with young adults in their Christian experience. 00:44 And we're always gonna be looking at the word of God, 00:46 the Bible to see what the Bible says 00:48 regarding these things. 00:49 Now Dan, what particular subject we're gonna be 00:52 discussing in the segment. 00:53 Yeah, today we're talking about the issue of sexuality 00:55 and you know in our culture today 00:57 its very misunderstood subject. 01:00 Some times it's uncomfortable for us, 01:02 for us to even talk about. 01:03 And you know, probably we're gonna be 01:05 little awkward when we hear. 01:07 But the Bible has a lot to say about the issue, 01:10 so this is what we're gonna talk about today. 01:11 And the reason why it's awkward, 01:13 we decided to invite a good friend of ours name, 01:15 Ariel Roldan, who actually used to be my teacher 01:19 at the mission college of evangelism. 01:21 How you're doing. Great. 01:22 Good to see, you're here with us. Thank you, thank you. 01:24 Now Ariel, we know you, 01:25 but our audience may not know who you are. 01:28 Who are you, Where do you come from? 01:30 Tell us little bit about yourself. 01:31 I'm originally from Argentina, but I'm U.S. citizen now. 01:35 Oh, congratulations. 01:36 I became U.S citizen last year. 01:39 I'm been married now for five years 01:40 this June and we just have our eight month old baby at home. 01:44 Oh, nice. That I'm missing a lot, so-- 01:46 What are their names? 01:47 Daline is my wife's name 01:48 and Jienna is my daughter's name. 01:50 So you are a husband and you are a father. Yes. 01:52 So if there is anybody that is well versed 01:54 in the subject of sexuality-- Is Jesus. 01:57 Is Jesus and it's also, 01:59 Ariel Roldan, because obviously-- 02:00 I'm growing brethren. 02:01 You are a family man, we really have-- 02:02 My little girl is teaching me stuff. 02:04 Yeah, we're really happy that you are here with us. 02:05 Now, Ariel, tell us a little bit about sexuality. 02:09 Why is it that when even-- maybe not even jumping 02:13 into the discussion of sexuality 02:15 maybe even just mentioning sexuality or mentioning sex. 02:19 There is this kind of discomfort, 02:21 is kind of tabooish. 02:24 Where did this feeling come from 02:26 and why is it that there is so much reservations 02:29 about talking about sexuality. 02:30 Well people sometimes has primitive cultures 02:33 and things like that, but I travel quite a bit 02:35 not as much as you. 02:38 But I have seen this is a cross cultural thing. Yeah. 02:40 Pretty much every culture has this unawkwardness 02:42 when it comes to sexuality. 02:46 From a Christian perspective, 02:47 I think the church is at fault to a great degree 02:50 as to why many people think that you shouldn't talk 02:53 about sex, you shouldn't discuss about sex. 02:55 In a nutshell during the second, 02:58 third, fourth century, 03:00 Christianity began to shut its Jewish routes 03:02 and adapt more and more of the Greek world for you, 03:04 Greek philosophy. 03:06 And in essence I mean I'm distilling it down 03:08 to very, very, very basic concept. 03:11 The Greeks would see that the spiritual things, 03:14 the intangible visible things that are spiritual are good. 03:17 The material stuff including our bodies are bad. 03:21 We have good spirit inside a bad shell 03:23 which is the body and of course 03:25 you have sex with the body. 03:26 So when the Christian church begin to embrace 03:29 all of these philosophical ideas into the church. 03:32 It began to see sex in a negative light, 03:34 so much so that for people that really wanted 03:37 to get close to God, really want to have 03:39 an intimate relationship with God, 03:41 they would take a certain vow. 03:42 You want to guess or what, 03:43 what kind of vow they have to take. 03:45 There's some being so. 03:46 Salvacy. Yeah. 03:47 Because they saw a sex has hindering to nearness to God. 03:51 So that sex had a bad connotation. 03:53 Yeah. Because it's physical. 03:54 Yeah, but the Bible is completely opposite. 03:56 The Bible actually says that Enoch, 04:00 had a kid and after he has a kid, 04:03 after obviously, we can't have kid without having sex. 04:05 After he has child he walked with God. 04:08 So there was-- the Bible never intimated, 04:10 never hinted at if you want be really close with God, 04:14 don't have sex, don't have families. 04:16 Actually it was totally opposite, 04:17 if you really want to understand God's heart 04:19 have a child. 04:20 Now wait a second Ariel, wait a second, 04:22 because you entered there is some pretty 04:23 revolutionary things. 04:24 Usually speaking when a young adult 04:26 or young person or maybe any person 04:29 of any age of any particular culture. 04:32 Usually when we think of sexuality 04:35 and we think of the Bible, usually we don't put 04:37 those two things together. 04:39 We don't really see how 04:40 there is a relationship between the two. 04:42 Usually there is a kind of 04:43 this perspective that the Bible is asexual. 04:46 But in your explanation you mentioned the Bible, 04:49 the Bible this, the Bible that. 04:51 Does the Bible actually talk about sexuality? 04:53 Yes, and there is two transitions 04:55 not only is Bible not asexual, is also not anti sexual. Okay. 05:00 Because it does talk about it, but it's not against sex. 05:03 Actually in the book the first Book of the Bible 05:06 into 31st Chapter of the Bible, you have sex. 05:09 And not many people realize it 05:11 because the Bible doesn't actually have the word sex. 05:15 This is Genesis Chapter 1. Yep. 05:17 Verse 27 and 28. 05:20 And we encourage our viewers 05:21 to make sure they have their Bibles, 05:23 so they can follow along with us. 05:24 Yes, I'm reading from the New King James, 05:26 you can read from any translation 05:27 that is easy for you to understand. 05:30 Genesis 1:27 and 28 reads" 05:34 So God created men and that's generic 05:36 that's like saying humanity, right. 05:38 Our God created humanity in his own image 05:41 and the image of God he created humans 05:44 males and females. 05:47 So the first way that The Bible addresses sexuality 05:51 is not as a verb, because most of us think 05:53 as sex as something we do-- Do in action. 05:55 But the Bible actually presents sex 05:57 as something we are and is part of our humanity. 06:01 Or the identity. Yes. 06:02 And it's not something that is separate off 06:04 I mean sexuality embraces everything 06:06 from your anatomy to your neurotomy, 06:09 to your emotions, the way God created us 06:12 is there is a distinct, there's obviously 06:15 there is no superior inferior, 06:17 but there is a distinct difference 06:19 between a man and a woman. 06:21 And that those differences are also manifested sexually. 06:25 And it is not just like we are all cookie cut, 06:28 you know, all of us are men, 06:29 all of us are women, even within masculinity 06:32 you have diversity and you have your own personality, 06:35 but your personality is intimately tied 06:37 with your sexuality. Wow. 06:39 So it seems like from hearing your explanation, 06:42 it seems like sexuality is a lot more profound 06:45 than we usually think. 06:47 It's a lot more broad profound deep, 06:49 I mean it's we don't typically think of sex 06:52 outside of the bedroom, or other rooms 06:54 where you have sex. Right. 06:55 But we're gonna be generic just the bedroom. Right. 06:58 We don't think about sex as something 07:00 that defies me in the society. 07:04 As a father that is, that is a sexual role 07:06 as a mother has a sexual role. 07:08 A father can never be a mother. 07:10 Those are separate sexual roles 07:11 and so sexuality embraces 07:14 every aspect of life as humans. 07:16 So then sexuality is an integral part of existence. 07:21 Not only because of procreation 07:22 but even because of the gender distinctions 07:25 and their roles in the upbringing 07:27 of the next generations what you are saying. 07:29 Yes. Wow, fascinating. 07:31 There's more actually, 07:33 the very next verse, verse 28. 07:37 This where I was telling the audience 07:38 and you guys that the Bible mentions sex 07:40 for the first time it's in verse-28 07:43 and it's hidden and I'm gonna see if you guys can pick up 07:45 which word in this verse actually refers to sex. 07:48 Verse-28 says "Then God blessed them 07:51 and said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, 07:54 fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion 07:56 over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air 07:58 and over every living thing that moves on the earth." 08:01 Where did you guys see sex? Be fruitful. 08:04 Yeah, And multiply. Be fruitful and multiply. 08:06 God was not talking about trigonometry or calculus, 08:08 He was talking about, amen, sex. 08:11 And its interesting to me that he says 08:13 to uses the word multiply, you know, 08:14 because you have addition 1+1+2+3 08:18 with multiplication is you go up a lot faster in number. 08:21 Right, exponentially different. 08:22 Exponentially, so He's not even saying 08:26 you should be on a diet. 08:28 You know, sex is not something 08:29 to be like nibbling at, enjoy it. 08:31 I have designed sex to be the combination 08:35 of the expression of my image in you 08:39 and when God makes men in verse-27 08:42 He uses this word right before every, 08:44 before He's gonna do something, He says 08:46 let us make men in our image. 08:49 Let us make men. God by nature is social. 08:54 Wait a second, so you're saying that 08:56 I mean in our culture we tend to 08:59 like hide these things, you know. 09:01 Sex is something that we do behind closed doors. Yeah. 09:03 If it happens like it's hush-hush, 09:06 you know, don't tell anybody. 09:08 But what you're saying is like, 09:10 you know, enjoy it, multiply, have added. 09:14 This is like, this is like different than what, 09:16 you know, we heard before with the church. 09:18 Yeah, and like I said, is the church to fault 09:21 to a great degree to the great ignorance 09:22 and may be misunderstanding. 09:24 May be sometimes ignorance is better than misunderstanding. 09:26 Right, right. 09:27 But when I was Bible working in Ohio, 09:30 I'll have these young kid's 09:31 ask me question's about sexuality. 09:33 And I would begin to share the positiveness of it 09:36 and that actually you would want to include 09:38 God in the equation. 09:40 It was almost offensive for them to think that 09:43 in my nuptial bed, 09:45 I would pray before having sex. 09:48 You know, it's like Lord take the angels 09:49 out of this room, because we are going to be naked 09:52 as if God did not know that part of us. Right. 09:55 And what the Bible does is, it brings us back 09:57 to the originality the origins of who we are 10:02 and saying sex that was not something that God did 10:05 and then was like I'm embarrassed of doing that 10:07 and because we are created in His image, 10:09 we should not be embarrassed or ashamed of our sexuality. 10:13 Now Ariel, do you think 10:15 because you mentioned the church, 10:16 I'm thinking even a little deeper. okay. 10:19 Do you think not only the church, 10:21 but do you think the home has been maybe 10:24 one of the reasons why sexuality is something 10:27 like is like a taboo or something like oooh. 10:30 it almost causes people to blush. 10:33 Your parents say if you like sex. 10:35 You know, my parents-- well my parents, 10:37 because I grew up with a single mother. 10:38 My mother was actually very, very open talking to us 10:42 about sexuality which is a good thing of course, 10:45 but it lack the biblical conviction, 10:48 because she didn't grow up in a Christian home though. 10:50 This is interesting Daniel let me ask you this question, 10:51 I hope its not too personal, was she a Christian. No. 10:54 See for me this is almost like a parent 10:56 that I'm realizing that the more I interact 10:58 with people and ask this question, 11:00 more Christian parents are more likely to not talk 11:03 to their kids about sexuality, 11:05 where as more secular minded 11:07 or non spiritual minded parents 11:09 are more likely to do it. Interesting. 11:10 It is an interesting pattern that I'm seeing that 11:13 they know what the world is like. 11:15 They've been there and so they are realizing, 11:17 I don't want my kid to be uninformed, 11:20 so I will give them a heads up. Right. 11:22 And I think in Christianity 11:23 because we don't go to the Bible, 11:25 we don't see these principles clearly outlined. 11:27 And I would tell parents 11:29 when I have done these seminars in other places 11:31 Genesis Chapter 2 will never come after Chapter 3. 11:35 And the point is they are still there. 11:36 What does it mean to our viewers, what does it mean? 11:38 Genesis Chapter 2 is pre sin, 11:40 Genesis Chapter 3 is post sin. Okay. 11:43 God actually in Genesis Chapter 2 verse 18 11:48 actually that's when he got mates, verse 16. 11:54 And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, 11:56 Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat, 11:59 But of the tree of the knowledge 12:01 of good and evil, 12:03 you shall not eat of it, for in the day that you eat it 12:05 what's gonna happen? You shall surely die. 12:07 Is he given the information about something that is good 12:10 or about something that is evil. 12:14 You're gonna die if you eat this. 12:15 Is that information about something that is good. 12:17 That doesn't sound too good. 12:18 This is not, that is pretty evil. 12:20 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like the ultimate. Right. 12:22 So this is the principle, God doesn't wait for Adam and Eve 12:25 to be in front of the tree 12:27 to then say or for them to have eaten 12:30 and say oh i'm going to tell you about that by the way. 12:32 Of the tree they ate already, oh, I am so sorry. Okay. 12:35 God actually gets ahead and says, 12:39 this is something that's going to hurt you. 12:42 He gave them the knowledge. 12:44 Yes. Before they-- 12:46 He prevented, He wanted to prevent. Got it. 12:48 And parents don't understand 12:50 that God does not hold this belief. 12:52 And I think this is the subtle belief 12:53 that has crept into many of our Christian parents, 12:56 they're well intentioned. 12:57 My parents have the same philosophical view. 13:00 They equate innocence with ignorance. Okay. 13:05 And they are not compatible. 13:07 Actually Genesis Chapter 2 and 3 would let us know that 13:10 had God kept them ignorant of this. 13:12 It would have been his fault and sin would have happened, 13:16 because God never want them. Right. 13:18 So for parents to think that 13:20 in order to keep their children innocence 13:22 innocent they need to keep them ignorant. 13:25 They are not following the Genesis 2 and 3 13:27 principle where you need to get ahead of the world. 13:30 Let me ask you a question in Genesis 2, 13:32 we see that God warned them not to eat of the fruit. 13:35 But then in Chapter 3, Satan comes and says, 13:38 God knows that if you eat this your eyes will be opened 13:41 and you will know good and evil. Yes. 13:43 So what is the difference of the knowledge 13:45 that they get between the two chapters. 13:47 That is a very good question and if you read that 13:49 in later on in Chapter 3 13:50 you see that even God knows good and evil. 13:52 You can know what is good and evil, 13:54 but always choose the good. 13:57 And you can know they could had known that 14:00 this tree is evil and choose not to partake of it. 14:03 So now the evil objectively, not subjectively 14:07 in other words not experientially. 14:08 That's right, theologian over here. 14:11 Its been a while since I've seen each of you. 14:13 I'm going well, I'm actually Brother-- I am impressed. 14:15 So Ariel, you are talking about this 14:17 and you mentioned, we got to reading 14:20 and you mentioned all these things you know. 14:22 Do you think that the whole subject of pleasure 14:29 may have some thing to, may have something to do with 14:33 the fact that maybe young people feel 14:36 like sexuality is something that they can't openly speak 14:39 to their parents, because you mentioned the church 14:42 and we mentioned the home, and we're just kind of 14:43 getting to the root of the issue. 14:44 But it seems as if young people, 14:47 young adults have the notion that 14:51 if it has pleasure, it's wrong. 14:55 Again that is that's just Greek philosophy 14:59 that have crept into Christianity. 15:01 And its not just a phenomenon that manifested itself 15:04 in the Medieval Church, Protestant Churches 15:06 also have many of those vestiges. 15:08 We need to as Christians, I think be responsible 15:11 and say, I need to address my faith, 15:15 my faith group and evaluate where they are getting 15:18 some of these misconceptions from? 15:21 And the vast majority of them, at least the ones 15:23 that I've found have origins with Greek philosophy. Okay. 15:26 And so for me, I'm not saying that 15:29 it is evil, but its different 15:31 than the biblical word view. Sure. 15:33 And they have some good things in it. 15:34 But I need to compare everything 15:36 and go with what the Bible teaches me, 15:38 because we've already seen in the first two chapters, 15:40 it kind of undoes pretty much everything 15:42 that Greek philosophy has done 15:43 for centuries with division churches. 15:45 So in other words not everything, 15:48 in other words God is not anti pleasure. 15:51 Actually, let's turn to Psalms Chapter 16. 15:54 Psalms Chapter 16. 15:58 A friend of mine, I mean Chester, 16:00 shared this, I youth for Jesus, 16:03 and I was at that time. 16:04 This topic has been-- 16:05 I've been developing it more and more in. 16:07 Every time I prepare even to come here is new insight 16:10 and, you know, the word of God is so, 16:11 so God wants us to really be educated in this 16:13 Psalms Chapter 16 verse 11 16:16 Daniel would you like to read it? sure. 16:18 "You will show me the path of life, 16:20 in your presence is fullness of joy, 16:22 at your right hand there are pleasures for ever more." 16:26 So how would you think that this passage 16:29 will answer young person that feels that 16:31 God does not want us to have pleasure 16:33 in our lives. All right. 16:34 And it's not only pleasure 16:35 but it's pleasures for ever more. 16:37 That's right and there is a kind of a pleasure 16:41 that God gives and the qualifier 16:44 is that its eternal, it's not ending it's always fresh. 16:48 If you go to the Book of the Hebrews, 16:49 don't loose your placing. So I finger in Psalm 16. 16:53 Turn to the Book of Hebrews Chapter 11. 16:56 Hebrews in New Testament. 17:00 Chapter 11 verses 24 and 25. 17:04 Jay, would you like to take this verse. 17:05 Actually I would love to because Hebrews 17:07 is my favorite book in the New Testament. 17:09 So Hebrews Chapter 11, 24 and 25. Yes. 17:12 "It says by faith Moses when he became of age refuse 17:15 to be called the son of pharaoh's daughter 17:17 choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people 17:21 of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin. 17:26 Excellent. Temporal, temporal, temporary. 17:28 See at this verse for me the more I read the Bible, 17:31 I used to think the Bible was for boring old people. 17:35 They have nothing to do but sit on a pull chair and swing. 17:37 I can resonate with that, okay. 17:39 But I never realized how real the Bible is, 17:42 because I felt that the church was trying to 17:44 convince me that sin had no pleasure, 17:47 but the more I would nibble at the world, 17:49 I'm like man this felt good. 17:51 What are they talking they are lying to me, 17:53 but the Bible does not lie to the reader. 17:55 And this passage it says, 17:56 that sin has pleasure, but it is a different kind of 17:59 pleasure than the ones God has for us. 18:01 The ones that God has for us are eternal, 18:04 non ending, non fading, they don't get old. 18:07 But the pleasures of the world, 18:09 there's a time of novelty. 18:11 There's a time we're wow, this is exciting, 18:13 but then gradually it fades away. 18:15 Wow, so then really pleasure in the world is-- 18:20 In other words you'll find pleasure in the world. 18:22 And you will find pleasure with God, 18:23 the difference then is that the pleasure 18:25 with God is a perpetual pleasure. Yes. 18:28 That only gets better and better and better. 18:30 It's interesting because I am no Hebrew scholar 18:33 by any means, but in the original language actually, 18:36 the Garden of Eden, which of course 18:38 was the dwelling place, the habitation that God had 18:40 for Adam and Eve, prior to the entrance of sin. 18:44 Eden in the original Hebrew actually means pleasure. 18:46 Wow, I might have to write it down, Jay. 18:48 So, the Garden of Eden, is essentially 18:50 is the garden of pleasure. Pleassure. 18:52 And I think the interesting thing here 18:54 as Dan was mentioning is that 18:56 somehow in Genesis 3 when the serpent spoke to the woman. 19:00 It almost appeared as the serpent was trying to 19:02 let the woman know that she-She is missing something. 19:06 For God knows that if you ate of it. 19:08 That you will be as gods. 19:10 Now to get in other words 19:11 if you only tasted this kind of pleasure, 19:15 you would experience 19:17 the zenith of existence or whatever. 19:18 It's not even that she is just missing out, 19:20 but God is withholding it. Yeah, right. 19:22 And do you know, that's the irony the sad paradox 19:25 of modern Christianity that Christianity 19:28 is actually speaking on behalf of the serpent 19:30 by saying those very words when it comes to sexuality. 19:34 When I used to first started doing Bible work 19:36 and kids would ask me, I'm living with my girlfriend 19:39 or whatever those kind of things were very common. 19:42 I was--I lacked experience, and God by His grace 19:45 would make up for those mistakes that I've made, 19:47 I'm not--I'm still not perfect, you know, 19:48 my little girl is showing on a daily basis. 19:52 But I will go kind of just to say kind of like a jugular 19:54 and right away say no brother, you are sinning, 19:57 you got to stop that. Right. 19:59 Now there is pleasure in sin. Yeah. 20:01 And for me to have gone and said that to him 20:04 basically I'm telling him, God thus saith the Lord, 20:08 thou needed to suffer by withholding pleasure. 20:11 What I would have said to him is your pleasure is good, 20:16 but the pleasure God has for you is best, 20:19 which one would you want. 20:21 And invite him to begin a journey with God, 20:24 because I realize that 20:25 many times we just tell people what to do. 20:27 I was told what to do was thou never 20:29 intelligent reason behind it. 20:31 And if there is a book 20:32 that speaks to our intelligence 20:34 to our reason is the word of God. Amen. 20:36 So for me I began to say Lord, 20:39 I would tell Him, you got to stop having sex 20:41 with his girlfriend and guess what will happen 20:42 with their Bible studies. 20:46 I need to cancel with you my girl friend got mad at me, 20:49 so that's the end of the Bible studies. 20:51 And I will realize Lord, what went wrong. 20:55 I told him truth, but you know, 20:57 you know, he doesn't want to study anymore. 20:59 And I realized, I need to examine my own journey 21:03 with the Lord, right, regarding sexuality. Right. 21:06 God did not tell me stop. 21:08 God said, I have something better for you. Right. 21:10 Like the woman at the well have water that 21:11 you will never thirst from again. Right. 21:14 Now, Ariel, maybe there is a young person watching 21:17 this program, maybe there is a young person 21:18 thinking wow, what's wrong with being involved 21:23 in intimate relations with somebody that's not, 21:28 that I'm not married to after all 21:30 God is about pleasure and obviously sexuality 21:33 at least we've learned now that is a good thing, 21:36 so what's wrong. 21:38 In your pastoral experience, 21:40 what have you seen as may be negative results 21:44 of young people that indulge in this. 21:46 Its harder at first maybe to express it to them 21:49 but if you take them to the word of God, 21:51 the word of God has a powerful way to speak 21:54 to our conscience, the part of us that is sensitive. 21:57 And the passages that I will share with them will be 22:00 Genesis Chapter 2 verse 7. Back to Genesis. 22:03 I love this is my favorite book in the Bible, 22:05 yours is Hebrew, mine is Genesis. 22:06 Well, actually my Old Testament 22:07 favorite is Isaiah, but my New Testament is Hebrews. 22:10 Which Chapter in Genesis? Genesis Chapter 2. Genesis 2. 22:14 Verse 7 "And the Lord God formed man 22:18 out of the dust of the ground, 22:21 and breathed into his nostrils the spirit of life, 22:24 breath of life and man became a living soul". 22:29 This passage is highly loaded 22:32 but the basic thrust of this is there is an aspect 22:35 of our that is physical. 22:37 But then God also made us in to be emotional, 22:41 intellectual and spiritual. 22:44 These four main components to every human being. 22:47 And the way we look at sexuality is guess which one, 22:49 you have physical, emotional, 22:50 mental and spiritual, guess which one 22:53 we always associate it with. This one physical. 22:56 So that's a fourth 22:57 of what we could be experiencing sexually. Wow. 23:00 And I share with them, you know, 23:03 begin to answer these questions besides, 23:05 you know, being very creative and very, very proficient 23:09 in your sexual, you know act, 23:12 what else do you guys share in common. 23:14 Do you guys talk to each other from their heart? 23:16 Do you know her? Do you k now her fears? 23:18 Do you know his past? 23:20 Do you know the things 23:21 that cause him hurt, his insecurities? 23:23 You know, what the answer was? 23:25 No, especially from the men. 23:28 They had a hard time 23:29 expressing things from within them. 23:31 So their relationship was always getting half half shot 23:33 and it would end. 23:35 It was physical, physical, and then its out. 23:37 They didn't have that emotional connection. 23:38 It would fizzle out. Wow. 23:40 And eventually he would break up, 23:42 she would break up and they go on find someone else. 23:43 This is the one, this is the one, 23:45 so I'd encourage them and say, let this one be the one 23:48 by adding the other three components. Amen. 23:51 And I wouldn't start with the mental or the emotional, 23:54 I would start with spiritual, spiritual. 23:56 And what happens to the person 23:58 who just engages in the physical act 24:00 person to person, lives a promiscuous lifestyle. 24:04 What is that person doing to himself? 24:07 Well, like we have just said they are robbing 24:09 of themselves of 75% of their humanity. 24:13 That's where the word of God would appeal 24:15 to them and say, you are selling yourself short. 24:17 Yes, if he was good undeniable, 24:19 I mean just as good as, you know, you take sometimes 24:22 with drugs or alcohol or things like that. 24:24 There is that element of pleasure 24:25 that Bible will not deny it, but the Bible will seek 24:28 to encourage or to say consider it though, 24:31 what if there was something better than 24:33 what you have right now. 24:35 And many people think, there is nothing better than sex. 24:38 But sex at a level where there is spiritual, 24:41 emotional, mental and physical 24:47 compatibility component, 24:48 when those four combine, there is a level of the unity 24:51 that carries people for their entire life. Wow. 24:55 Before I was a minister I was a nurse 24:56 and I worked at a nursing home. 24:58 And in all the nursing homes that I had you have 25:00 married couples and they were given this special sign 25:04 that they will put on their door, 25:05 you know what that sign said "Do not disturb" 25:10 you know why? 25:11 It's not because they were in the bathroom. 25:13 Do you have an idea, why? 25:14 And these were 60 years old. Wow. 25:17 And most people think that sex fades out around 30 or 40 25:20 or when you get married or when you have kids. 25:23 But when you put God's presence 25:25 into your relationship, you'll read from Psalm 16:11. 25:29 The pleasures including the pleasure from sex 25:31 with his partner increases. Wow. 25:35 The sexual pleasure in the world 25:37 because it's lack in these three other components 25:40 that pleasure decreases, 25:43 it begins to become more and more impoverish, 25:45 more and more limited. 25:46 So you are saying that bond grows stronger. Yes 25:50 By not, you know, living the promiscuous lifestyle.Yes. 25:54 We only have a few seconds, because we only have 25:56 a few minutes left. 25:57 What counsel would you give to young person 26:00 that maybe finds himself 26:01 kind of in a complex situation with intimacy? 26:05 Where would you counsel them to look for help? 26:07 What is that may be one or two points that you could give me 26:09 in a few seconds that we have, 26:10 in only 20 seconds. 26:11 I would pretty much ask them to pray 26:13 because God is awakening you. 26:15 The fact, the very fact that you are having 26:17 those sentiments is evidence that God is speaking 26:18 to your heart. Amen. 26:20 So if he is speaking to your heart, 26:21 he's already has an answer to your desire to have 26:24 someone guide you, pray for eyes and ears 26:26 to recognize that and be active, go to a church, 26:29 that's kind of like a safe place to go in, 26:31 talk to a pastor. Proactive. 26:34 I want to say any age 26:36 because you have elderly pastors 26:37 and may have wisdom and will he able to relate 26:39 to young people and but find a pastor 26:41 that you can speak to and you can feel comfortable with 26:44 and be transparent. 26:46 Even if there is an older pastor you make him 26:49 a little uncomfortable. 26:51 Right after those tough questions. 26:52 Sometimes I was younger and the questions I got 26:54 you know about oral sex and all these things 26:55 I was like, well, this, where is that I can quote it. 27:03 You mean if you're uncomfortable 27:05 but you confront him, why you are uncomfortable 27:06 about talking about this. Right. 27:08 And the more comfortable I have felt 27:11 the more credibility I had with the young people. 27:13 So find someone that is comfortable 27:15 talking to you about this probably someone 27:16 with the family, someone that has some experiences 27:19 in life and look at their marriage. 27:23 Is he happy, is he happy with his wife 27:25 or if it is the wife if you are a young lady 27:27 preferably I would highly recommend 27:28 talking to a female not a male. 27:31 Well, it's obviously Ariel, that being a father 27:33 and a husband have really given you a lot of insights 27:36 and lot of wisdom into the subject. 27:38 So we just really want to thank you 27:39 for coming into our show and for blessing us 27:42 for all these things. My Blessings onto my pleasure. 27:44 And I wanted to just speak to the audience 27:47 that's watching that two things. 27:49 Number one, if you've gone everything 27:51 that we've mentioned, number one, there is help, 27:53 you can find help. 27:55 And number two, that the word of God answers 27:58 to the deepest questions of life. 28:00 God bless you. |
Revised 2014-12-17