Participants: Pr. William Lee (Host), Brandon Dent, Colin King, Muta Mwenya
Series Code: FGO
Program Code: FGO000013
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00:01 Welcome to "For Guys Only."
00:02 A program that deals with topics 00:04 specially geared for the urban man. 00:06 I'm Pastor William Lee and I'm so thankful 00:08 that you've joined us for yet another broadcast. 00:11 Today, we are gonna look at the topic, 00:12 Adam, Where Are You Now?" 00:14 Join us as we go into our broadcast. 00:33 Gentlemen, I want to welcome you 00:35 to another broadcast "For Guys Only" 00:37 and we kind of want to just take a moment before we-- 00:40 I say, just to kind of introduce ourselves 00:42 to our viewers today. 00:44 By chance someone has joined us for the very first time. 00:47 So I began with you, Brandon. 00:49 Yes, my name is Brandon Dent 00:51 and I'm a retired auto executive, 00:55 27 years in the industry and I'm now running 00:57 my own marketing company. 00:59 Married 27 years, two adult sons 01:02 and a teenage daughter at home. 01:04 And its my pleasure to be on the program today. 01:08 All right, thank you so much, Brandon. 01:10 My name is Colin King. I'm a clinical psychologist. 01:13 I've been practicing for the last 17 years. 01:15 I have two wonderful teenagers and a wonderful wife. 01:19 And it's a pleasure being on the show. 01:21 All right, thank you Dr. King.' 01:22 My name is Muta Mwenya 01:24 and I'm the director for Elijah 3 Ministries, 01:27 Urban Youth Evangelism Ministry. 01:29 I've been married for seven years 01:31 and I've got two sons ages six and eleven months. 01:35 And I'm Pastor William Lee. 01:37 I currently pastor the capital city 01:39 Seventh-day Adventist church in Indianapolis, Indiana, 01:42 part of the Lake Region Conference 01:44 of Seventh-day Adventist. 01:45 Been married now for seven years. 01:47 I have two children, 01:49 one year old and a five year old 01:51 and I'm just excited the way 01:53 God has continued to bless me thus far in my life. 01:57 Today, we are gonna begin with the word of prayer 01:59 and I'm gonna ask Dr. King if you would pray for us. 02:01 Father, we are so grateful for this opportunity 02:05 to discuss topics and issues 02:08 that are of critical important to urban families. 02:11 We ask the blessings upon our presentation today 02:14 for Christ sake, amen. 02:16 Amen. 02:17 Today, we kind of want to, you know, 02:19 talk about "Adam, Where Are You Now?" 02:22 We've been broadcasting, you know, over and over again 02:25 for a while now and this kind of, 02:27 we want to bring a sense to let me know, 02:30 let the urban man know 02:31 that they don't have to run from God. 02:33 They don't have to responsibility, 02:35 they don't have to run from any thing 02:38 that God has brought them to. 02:41 Any obstacle in our life should not just be looked 02:44 as an obstacle but it can be looked as a stepping stone 02:47 to get to the next level that God wants us to be at. 02:51 You know, we talked about 02:52 before this whole notion of Genesis 3:9, 02:56 where the Bible says, "And the Lord God 02:57 called unto Adam, and said it, Where are thou?" 03:00 and verse 10 says, "And he said, 03:02 I heard thy voice in the garden, 03:04 and I was afraid, 03:05 because I was naked, and I hid myself." 03:09 You know, when you look at a story 03:10 we are absolutely clear that when God asked, 03:12 you know, Adam, where are you, it wasn't God wasn't saying, 03:15 you know, Adam, where are you geographically? 03:17 But God was asking the question, 03:18 you know, where are you spiritually? 03:20 Where are you in your walk with Me right now? 03:23 And that's the main question that we want to get across, 03:26 you know, as we talk to the urban man 03:28 that while Adam hid himself, you know, 03:31 come on out, come on out, man. 03:34 Men as we talk about are created 03:36 in the image of God, that we are God's masterpiece. 03:40 That God has breathed on us and He wants us 03:44 to be all that He has called us to be. 03:47 So today, just kind of want to review a little bit 03:49 some of the topics that we've considered 03:52 throughout our broadcast. 03:54 You know, and again beginning with this whole notion of Adam, 03:58 don't run but live up to your responsibility. 04:02 Dr. King, give us that historical perspective, 04:06 you know, as you don't before, 04:07 as it relates to man occurred and their responsibility. 04:11 Actually, you know, if we go back to our origin, 04:13 our root if you please, we were made to be kings. 04:17 You know, we are fearfully and wonderfully made and-- 04:22 but somehow we've lost sight 04:24 and we have lost track of that vision. 04:27 We were raised to be rulers. 04:30 Well, just going back to our origin 04:32 and we were supposed to be mentored by our seniors 04:37 and we were supposed to mentor our juniors. 04:40 You know, there is an old African saying 04:44 which goes like that. 04:45 It takes a village to raise a child 04:48 and that's how we were meant to live. 04:50 And so today we've lost sight of that. 04:53 So Adam, Where are you now, 04:54 we need to get back to that concept of community, 04:58 of being strong, of mentoring and of being mentored. 05:02 Yeah, that's good. 05:04 Let's talk about the spiritual side because again God ask, 05:07 you know, where are you and not geographically 05:09 but where are you spiritually right now. 05:12 Let's kind of talk about, you know, this whole idea of, 05:15 you know, the man leading his family spiritually. 05:19 You know, how important is, is that the spiritual backing 05:24 for especially a family where there is-- 05:26 of course, you know, a wife and children. 05:28 You know, should man take time out 05:30 to pray and their families? 05:32 You know, what can men do 05:34 to mold their family spiritually 05:36 so that we are all that God wants us to be? 05:40 I would choose to answer that sort and it totally. 05:47 Growing up my mother was a dominant influence 05:52 in terms of practical learning. 05:55 Even my math and my financial interest 05:59 all came down through my mother. 06:02 My father did two things. 06:04 He went out and he worked and came back home. 06:09 That's so interesting piece, a good piece I should say. 06:13 He came back home. 06:14 But the second piece 06:16 was that he took the spiritual program 06:18 of the family extremely seriously. 06:22 There were times where my mother 06:23 would be working so hard that she would come in 06:26 and just lay down and go to sleep. 06:29 That was her way of saying, 06:30 don't disturb me for worship tonight. 06:32 My father, was like clock work, 06:36 morning, evening, morning, evening. 06:39 He taught us, he counseled us. 06:41 He was just a rock, 06:43 solid spiritual leader in the household. 06:47 And its kind of interesting even thought most of our time 06:50 as young boys was with our mother 06:52 and we had that strong emotional bond. 06:55 Whenever we had an issue to have any spiritual gravity 06:59 we went straight to dad. 07:01 And that was the thing that shot us up. 07:03 You know, if you go along just fine 07:05 and then you reach that tough moment, 07:07 if you don't last that tough moment 07:09 all those fine times can be blown away. 07:13 And so those bridges that my father built 07:15 over those tough moments 07:18 were critical in keeping us on track. 07:20 Okay. Okay. 07:22 That's good. That's good. 07:23 What else, what are the thing that we do spiritually 07:25 because and I really want us to talk 07:28 to that man that you know, 07:29 just make some changes in his life, 07:31 that he is saying you know, 07:32 I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm not gonna run anymore. 07:34 I want to be the man that God has called me to be. 07:38 What else can that man do spiritually for himself 07:41 or even for his family to take himself 07:44 or his family to the next level that God wants them to be at? 07:47 I think, you know, I think its important as males 07:50 that we realize that 07:52 we don't have to be perfect, we have to be real. 07:56 Okay. 07:57 So we have to look at ourselves in the mirror. 07:59 We have to take stop. 08:01 What are my strengths, what are my weaknesses? 08:04 Where am I falling and if I'm off course 08:08 I need to ask God to get me back on course. 08:11 So to when God comes looking for me and He says, 08:14 Adam, where are you? 08:16 I know that He is not chastening me. 08:19 He is looking for me because He wants to rescue me. 08:23 And hat's the position I should-- 08:25 I can do this again. 08:26 I can rise again. 08:28 I can lead again, I can step up to the plate 08:31 and represent my family and lead them again. 08:33 I can do this. 08:35 I love what the Bible say in the Book of Revelation 1:5, 08:40 the Bible, you know, yeah, verse 5 that will say as, 08:44 "And from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, 08:46 the first begotten of the dead, 08:48 and the prince of the kings of the earth. 08:50 Unto him that loved us, and washed us 08:55 from our sins in his own blood" watch verse 6 "And has made us 09:00 kings of priest unto God into his Father, 09:04 to him be glory and dominion for ever and ever." 09:08 That we are saying that hey, Adam, recognize. 09:11 You know, you don't have to run 09:13 because the novel says God has washed you. 09:15 God has cleansed you and not only that Bible says 09:18 that God has made, you know, 09:20 again Adam so to speak to be the king and the priest. 09:23 You know, I kind of having 09:25 a standing joke in my congregation. 09:26 I told, you know, don't call me Pastor Lee, 09:29 you know, Bible says call me king Lee. 09:32 Call me Priest Lee, you know. 09:34 And we start seeing ourselves, you know, the way God sees us 09:39 you know, as kings and as priests 09:41 as being righteous in His own sight. 09:43 Then I can change the way that we see ourselves 09:47 and that we can have confidence. 09:48 I know, if my father said to me in growing up 09:50 that there is nothing more powerful 09:52 than a Blackman that knows God. 09:55 Yeah, absolutely. 09:57 A Blackman that knows God because when you know God 09:58 you know that no weapon formed against you shall prosper. 10:01 Shall prosper. 10:02 You know, that nothing that comes your way 10:04 that the devil brings your way that you can't conquer 10:07 through the grace and the help of God. 10:10 And that's why we want to encourage, 10:11 you know, man, urban man, Blackman 10:14 that all the times I have ran from responsibilities stand up 10:17 and it be all that God has called you to be. 10:20 Get back up again. 10:22 Yeah. Get back up again. 10:23 If you fall you can get back up again. 10:24 Absolutely. 10:26 Muta, kind of talk to me little about your testimony. 10:28 You have really an awesome testimony in regards to, 10:31 you know, transformation. 10:33 You know, what's happened 10:34 in your own life as far as that? 10:39 As far as spiritually and emotionally 10:42 and just it's been sort of whirlwind. 10:46 My life has just been-- 10:48 I was raised in a good environment. 10:53 It was great. 10:54 I had two good parents, I can attest to that 10:56 and I thank God for that. 10:57 But Satan knows how to distract and destroy 11:04 and so I had a lot of disappointments in my life 11:07 whether it was through school or through friendships 11:10 that kind of put me in a place where I just felt alone. 11:13 And I think a lot of men out there really feel alone. 11:17 Nobody really gets you, nobody understands 11:19 what you are going through and the one-- 11:24 the first thing that I did is when I saw men 11:28 that were actually at a point where I wanted to be at in life 11:32 or who I could see had something together 11:37 I attach very close to those men, not them let go. 11:41 Okay. 11:42 And I just kind of sat at their feet 11:44 like we were supposed to, 11:47 if we go back to our African roots, 11:49 I mean, the child sits at the feet of the men 11:52 and he learns and that's what I did. 11:55 And one that was real significant 11:57 about these three men is their spiritually. 12:00 And they didn't force it on me 12:04 but they lived it every single day. 12:07 And so I attached to that and I started studying 12:10 on my own and learning and asking questions. 12:12 And the biggest thing 12:14 is don't be afraid to ask questions. 12:16 If there is something that you don't know 12:18 and as you grow spiritually 12:20 there is something inside of you, 12:22 I mean, God's word will not return void. 12:26 And as that story happens the change, 12:30 the transformation begins to happen 12:32 and so those are two things that I would say as, 12:36 find those individuals who are gonna build you up. 12:40 And two hang on to the Word of God 12:43 like it's your lifeline because truly it is. 12:47 You know, I'm kind want that, you know, 12:49 I want you to talk a little bit about 12:50 as well as because I know that you, 12:52 you know, you got some experiences where 12:54 like all of us have and that you specifically 12:57 you talked about, you know, some experience where you have, 12:59 where you were running from God or you were not, 13:03 you know, following God as you are now. 13:06 You know, how did you feel, you know, during that time 13:09 when you were doing things your own way? 13:12 You know, kind of describe that 13:13 because there is a man that is seeing right now, 13:15 you know, he is still doing things 13:17 his own say and you been there. 13:19 Right. 13:20 And you can encourage them for that. 13:22 How did you feel first of all when you were so to speak 13:24 like Adam when you were running from God? 13:29 Empty. 13:32 It was on the façade every day about me 13:36 during that time was to cover up 13:39 what I was really feeling on the inside. 13:41 I felt alone, I felt abandoned. 13:43 I mean, even having two good parents in the home, 13:45 I mean, having two good parents in the home is essential 13:50 and it helps, not to say single parent 13:53 can do it well as well but its beneficial 13:57 but even at times as a young person growing up 14:01 you now mom and dad 14:03 are supposed to say certain things. 14:05 So they just gonna come. 14:07 And you need more than just mom and dad 14:11 giving you that affirmation. 14:13 And mentorship, we talked about that in previous episodes 14:16 but as I was out there I mean, you just-- 14:21 it's kind of like a haze, 14:22 its so much so that you begin to disregard it. 14:27 You disregard those feelings, those anxieties, 14:30 those fears and literally Satan put a clock over your eyes 14:35 and you start beginning to believe 14:37 that everything is okay 14:38 but there is a something inside of you that knows. 14:41 God has put something in every single one of us 14:43 that, that you know that you are not 14:47 where you are supposed to be. 14:49 And so that that really was the prevailing feeling 14:53 that you get actually sensed 14:56 that even in the highest on drugs, 15:00 even when you're drunk off your rockers 15:02 or when you are in that party 15:04 and doing which you think is giving you pleasure. 15:08 At the end of the night when you go home you are empty. 15:12 It means nothing. 15:13 Okay. Empty. 15:15 Empty. That's a good word. 15:17 Good word to describe it as well. 15:18 You know, during our conversation now 15:20 you talked to beloved about 15:22 breaking strongholds and that's essential. 15:25 The Bible says, that the weapons of our warfare 15:28 are not carnal but the Bible says that they are mighty 15:30 to the pulling down of strongholds. 15:34 You know, maybe a man is watching us right now 15:36 and that's you know, that feels empty, 15:38 that has a strong hold in their life, you know. 15:41 What do we say, what kind of advice can we give them? 15:44 You know, even from the Word of God 15:45 from your own personal experience 15:47 that can help them understand that, 15:49 you know, they are not by themselves 15:50 that they can victorious through Jesus Christ. 15:53 Help us understand that as well. 15:56 Brandon, you lead. Kind of talk a little about that 15:59 you know, that the power that God has given us 16:03 to be able to move and operate in Him. 16:07 Well, I like to say, thank God at His word. 16:13 God has given so many promises and but those promises 16:19 if you go through them they are conditional. 16:22 They always require us to do something 16:25 to let go of something, to seek ye first in all thy ways 16:31 acknowledge Him and He will direct your path. 16:34 All means all. 16:36 And I think all too often we seek 16:40 that our lives are in this sort of secular mumble, jumble 16:45 and over here are spiritual things 16:49 and the twin should not meet 16:52 and nothing could be further from the truth. 16:53 That's a lie from the devil because he-- 16:56 the devil realizes that once you get that 16:59 all means all, you know, should I take this job? 17:04 Should I take this person? Should I buy this item? 17:10 See, all of these are things that we have been talking about 17:14 that go along in the lives of urban men. 17:16 And so the best text that I can give you 17:18 is in all of your ways acknowledge Him 17:22 and He will direct your paths. 17:24 That's good. That's good. 17:26 You know, other things that we talked about 17:27 is I thought was extremely significant. 17:30 It's gonna bring up against that, you know, 17:31 men are different from women, you know. 17:34 Dr. King, you kind of mentioned 17:35 before that we are wired different. 17:37 You know, you talked about the brain, 17:39 you then shows the brain 17:40 and different hemispheres in our brain. 17:43 One thing that stuck with me, you know, I won't forget it 17:46 in regards ito women operates you say had a dual processor. 17:51 Absolutely. Absolutely. 17:52 Wow. 17:53 Well, men operate with that single processor 17:56 and I know it to be true. 17:58 Yeah, you know, the point I was making is that, 18:01 you know, we are wonderfully and prayerfully made 18:04 and God designed us in a particular way. 18:07 And He made males species very different from female. 18:12 So the point I was trying to make is that He made women 18:15 with the ability to process information simultaneously 18:20 from both hemispheres of their brain. 18:23 And us guys, you know, we predominantly left sided 18:29 and so that's why a woman, a sister 18:33 or a mother is able to attempt different stimuli 18:36 at a same time without losing peace. 18:39 We have problems, we have trouble doing that 18:42 because we were not designed to function like that. 18:45 Okay. 18:47 And maybe it was God's will of just complementing 18:49 what we have and making us understand that, 18:53 you know, we are not complete 18:56 without that complement working alongside us. 19:00 And when we don't understand those differences 19:03 it can create frustration, and we run. 19:06 Okay. 19:07 This just putting those rich comments 19:10 that Dr. King just made 19:11 in the context of "Adam, where are you now?" 19:14 So, you know, again I think we run because of society, 19:20 expectations placed upon us. 19:22 We run, men run because of, 19:26 you know, its just heavy things too heavy right now 19:29 and sometimes the easiest thing to do is to look for an out. 19:34 Whether its in your marriage especially, 19:36 it is about divorce as well. 19:37 We have a conversation 19:38 which is a very good conversation about divorce 19:41 where sometimes we think its easy, 19:44 its easier to say, you know, peace. 19:49 You know, do this sort to speak. 19:51 You go your way, I go my way. 19:53 And we know that God really wants to bring about 19:57 reconciliation and as men I think 20:01 that we have to allow God to transform our hearts, 20:05 transform our minds as we submit to Him 20:08 so that He can really have His way in our lives. 20:12 But then my thought goes to, you know, our young boys 20:16 that are growing up and the need for them 20:19 to be able to see a godly man. 20:22 You know, we talked before that everybody is looking 20:24 so it seems for godly Blackman. 20:27 You know, women, men, employers everybody 20:30 they are looking for a man of integrity, you know. 20:33 Kind of talk a little bit about, you know, boys. 20:35 You know, how can we shape, you know, 20:39 these people that look like us? 20:41 You know, mini me's so to speak? 20:43 How can we shape them so that they don't, 20:46 you know, fall prey to even some of the wises, 20:50 the addictions, the anger some of things 20:53 that we have faced as men. 20:55 What can we do to build these boys up 20:58 so they can go forward in the power of God? 21:01 You know, at a fundamental level we need to, 21:03 we need to understand and remember 21:06 that our young boys need us as mentors. 21:10 You know, that concept needs to be rooted in us 21:14 and we need to dedicate our life 21:17 towards making their lives better. 21:19 We need to let them benefit or learn from our mistakes. 21:23 They don't need to make the same mistakes 21:25 that we've made. 21:26 The crazy stuff that we've done, 21:28 the foolishness that we have engaged in 21:31 they don't need to make those same mistakes. 21:33 So we need to let them sit at our feet, 21:35 mentor them, encourage them 21:38 and when they fall pick them up, 21:40 hold their hands and keep walking with them. 21:43 I want to ask a question with that, 21:45 with that same, and do want to tell, 21:47 you know, especially you know, 21:49 our sons that they each one of us have, 21:50 we have sons you know, of course ours is younger 21:53 but do we tell our sons that you know, 21:55 we have had this struggle that you know, 21:57 these are some of the things 21:59 that I've encountered, you know? 22:00 Do we really open-- should we open up to, 22:02 you know, to our sons so that they don't fall 22:04 in the same pit perhaps that we may have fallen in? 22:08 We need to keep it real. 22:09 Okay. 22:11 I think we are stronger when we are most vulnerable. 22:15 And again we don't need to be perfect 22:18 and they are not looking for a perfect dads 22:21 but they are looking for real dads. 22:24 That's good. That's good. 22:25 You know, the other thing that I think we need to do 22:27 is we need to live by example. 22:29 My dad, I mentioned earlier 22:31 that he was a man of many things 22:33 and I got another one for you. 22:36 Okay, all right. 22:37 He would always say, I'd rather see 22:39 a sermon than hear one any day. 22:41 Okay. Okay. 22:42 And, you know, I'm sure that he didn't originated that 22:47 but he was good at picking up sayings 22:49 and sharing them with us. 22:50 And so, and I think Dr. King, said in one of other episodes 22:55 that values are not taught, they are caught. 22:58 So we need to be about the example 23:02 in setting the environment 23:05 where these values can be caught. 23:07 I've got another one for you. 23:10 Children absorb what they observe. 23:14 They are like sponges. Okay. 23:16 Absolutely. Absolutely. 23:18 And lot of times, you know, 23:19 we tell our children don't do as I say. 23:21 Yeah, that didn't work. 23:22 Yeah, that is not worth very well. 23:24 I do. Yeah, do really is, yeah, 23:26 it really does not as well. 23:28 You know, what I appreciate is the fact that, 23:31 you know, we can build men up 23:33 instead of try and tear ourselves down. 23:36 I think its because you are watching and they say, 23:37 that you will never bring a man down 23:39 unless you go down with him, you know. 23:42 You got to encourage one another. 23:43 Share each other on every step of the way. 23:46 We need that. 23:48 You know, not just, you know, 23:49 not because of egotism 23:50 or because of our egos but we doesn't need, 23:52 you know, a man in our corner, you know, 23:54 telling us, you know, Muta, good job. 23:57 You know, you did well right there. 23:59 You know, keep on going forward. 24:00 You can do it. You can make it. 24:02 I'm praying for you. I'm praying for you. 24:03 Yeah, I'm praying for you. 24:05 I'm counting on you. 24:06 Absolutely and that really builds us up to know that wow, 24:09 a man is looking after me. 24:12 A man, not just my mother 24:14 that is a woman but another man. 24:17 I think God has wired us in such a way as well. 24:19 You know, one of the things that we did not talk about 24:21 as much I think is critical as well 24:24 and our time is running now but is the fact 24:26 that we will take care of our bodies, 24:29 you know, our physical health. 24:31 You know, there is so much in society, you know, 24:33 conversation about, you know, men don't go to the doctor. 24:36 You know, men are afraid to go to a doctor. 24:39 Men think that, you know, 24:40 forgot doctor my finance seems wrong with me. 24:42 Well, that's kind of way you go to make sure 24:46 that your health is intact. 24:48 And if there is something wrong to go and get a check out. 24:52 Just to spend a moment real quick. 24:53 Just one minute talking about necessity of men 24:57 putting their health at the top of the agenda, 25:00 right, well, next to God as well. 25:01 I think it is actually critical African-American men 25:08 are inflected by some diseases, 25:11 some of them are preventable like prostate cancer. 25:16 There is a high incident of prostate cancer 25:19 in African-American men, colon cancer also. 25:23 And so its important for us to have our annual screenings 25:26 done by age 40-45 African-American male 25:33 should have had a colonoscopy. 25:35 Say the age one more time. 25:37 By age 40 or 45 African-American male 25:40 should have had a colonoscopy because we die 25:44 early and faster than our counterparts. 25:47 Colon cancer. 25:49 Okay. Okay. 25:50 I will say real quick is that your physical health 25:53 has a direct impact on your spiritual health. 25:56 Absolutely. 25:57 When you are physically healthy 26:00 it will be easier for you to be spiritually healthy 26:03 because with all those endorphins running 26:05 it will give you a sense of enthusiasm 26:08 to get into the Word, to be more pleasant 26:10 to be around and to be ready to accept 26:14 the bidding of the Holy Spirit. 26:16 Okay. 26:17 And also the ministries of the church 26:18 are negatively affective 26:20 because the prayer life of the church 26:23 becomes very unilaterally focused on Lord, 26:28 I need help with this disease. 26:29 I need help with this disease. 26:30 So you are not praying about the youth ministry program 26:34 because you focused on this. 26:35 So true. Right. 26:37 Right. Right. 26:38 You know, I know as a man you didn't ask me to do this 26:40 but I kind of be a cheerleader for us. 26:42 I can, you know, I sure cheer you on 26:44 until you brother, keep on going strong. 26:47 You know, you are gonna make it 26:48 through the grace of God, you know. 26:50 You are not going to be defeated. 26:52 Why? 26:53 Because again the Bible says 26:54 that if God before us no one can be against us. 26:59 Can I assure you on by saying 27:00 that if any man be in Christ he is a new creature, 27:04 old things are passed away, 27:06 all things become brand new. 27:10 Walk in your destiny. Walk in faith. 27:13 Walk in the destiny that God 27:15 has given you in these last days. 27:18 Until next time I'm Pastor William Lee. 27:21 Keep your head up in this world. 27:23 God bless you. |
Revised 2016-03-15